Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

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gbs
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Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

Post by gbs » Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:45 pm

Sounds so diehard-ish :)

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/439983703.html

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

harland
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Post by harland » Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:03 pm

:shock: wow, man. that ad is a doozy.

good reply though.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

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bob90245
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Post by bob90245 » Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:12 pm

heh heh. Tom Leykis would be proud. :twisted:

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modal
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Post by modal » Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:27 pm

I also enjoyed the other response not included in your post.

I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn't consider a women unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.


Did this make it to the best of section? If it did, it's one of the cleaner posts out there.

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ryuns
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Post by ryuns » Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:37 pm

Hilarious.

A good woman who's a "buy and hold" who won't pollute my gene pool is all I've ever wanted :D

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Ted Valentine
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Post by Ted Valentine » Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:42 pm

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout
Ka-ching! :lol:
Although our intellect always longs for clarity and certainty, our nature often finds uncertainty fascinating.

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Post by mlebuf » Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:50 pm

A wise man once recounted this important life lesson:

I grew up as a poor kid without any money. Then, I went to work and made lots of money. I bought a boat. I bought an airplane. And I went through a few very expensive marriages/divorces too. From this I learned a very important lesson: If it floats, flies or flirts, lease it. :lol:

Best wishes,
Michael
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SoonerSunDevil
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Post by SoonerSunDevil » Thu Oct 04, 2007 10:30 pm

Maybe she's not as good looking as she thinks???

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Not me

Post by DaveS » Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:49 am

I don't make enough to qualify. Further I recall being told by my parents. "When you marry into money, you earn it. Dave

Grandma
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Embarassed and Ashamed

Post by Grandma » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:13 am

I hope this is a joke. Otherwise, as a female lawyer, who taught my "spectacularly beautiful" lawyer daughter the importance of more esoteric qualities and values, you give us all a bad name. I am embarassed and ashamed for you. Maybe match.com is the place for you?

Grandma
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It IS a Joke

Post by Grandma » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:22 am

Glad I had my second cup of coffee, Librarian, to see that YOU were not the original poster, merely the MESSENGER. However, my sentiments are obvious. Values are instilled, or not, male or female. Best.

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Re: Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

Post by Valuethinker » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:36 am

gbs wrote:Sounds so diehard-ish :)

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/439983703.html

What am I doing wrong?
.
There is quite a bit of psychological research that shows that if you make people pay for something, they are far less likely to be honest about using it (eg 50 cent deposit for borrowing a cup, do they return it?) than if you make it free.

For example, when a daycare centre began to charge professional parents for late pickups of their kids, the percentage of late pickups soared.

The short answer is, once humans turn something into a monetary transaction, very different rules apply than the normal human ones of fairness and swaps of equal value. psychologically, humans value fair exchange very highly.

This woman is the stereotype of the money-grubbing New York broad, who checks your bank balance before she continues the conversation. She doesn't want to find true love and live in a loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, no she wants the Upper West Side.

She has therefore massively lowered her chances of achieving same.

She should hang out in bars in Greenwich Connecticut though: highest concentration of hedge fund managers in the world.

As to the reply, what was it someone once told me: 'New Yorkers are not ruder than other Americans, but they are blunter' :D :D

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Re: Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

Post by Valuethinker » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:40 am

gbs wrote:Sounds so diehard-ish :)

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/439983703.html

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush.
PS the woman should read New York magazine. Her impression of what (most) doctors earn in New York is inflated, I suspect, and NY Mag would tell her where these highly paid men hang out.

She should also consider business school. High male to female ratio, and the men in a top B School have a high chance of making those kinds of salaries.

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Post by matt » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:35 am

Valuethinker wrote:
For example, when a daycare centre began to charge professional parents for late pickups of their kids, the percentage of late pickups soared.
The issue here wasn't honesty, it was about perceived value. Once the daycare started charging, it seemed more acceptable to the busy parent to be late since the daycare would get extra money for it. The busy parent valued his/her time at a greater dollar amount than the extra charge, so it turned into an economic decision. Beforehand, there was social pressure not to be late, but not much in terms of financial penalties unless you were frequently late and they threatened to no longer accept your child.

Just another example of unintended consequences. The "punishment" made the problem worse. This is a lot more common than we'd all like it to be, but it just shows that human decision making is not as obvious as certain behavior books and studies would like us to believe.

P.S. I'm just sitting here today wondering about human decision making and why equity investors are so excited about U.S. jobs data that is always subject to subtantial revision. The previous month's jobs data that made everyone gloomy has been completely reversed in this month's revision, so in fact it wasn't as gloomy as it appeared. But maybe this month's numbers are not as they appear either, yet the traders keep moving the market on this noise.

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Post by linenfort » Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:08 pm

This story made the Howard Stern show this morning.
Artie Lange wants to reply.
Everyone loved the investment banker's response, in which he referred to the Craigslist OP as a depreciating asset.

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Re: Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

Post by docneil88 » Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:48 pm

investment banker to possible trophy wife wrote: So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. ...It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
That same banker probably would be happy to plunk down a cool half mill for a magnificent car that would depreciate heavily over the first couple decades. So, I sincerely ask why he'd probably buy the car, but avoid a depreciating trophy wife? BTW, I asked this question to a friend, and he said, "Because the car will never say 'no' when the bankerman wants to ride, baby!" (OK, over the top, but I couldn't resist sharing that. Apologies in advance to anyone who may be offended.)

The banker forgot to mention that his body too will be steadily depreciating as well. I hope against hope that both their minds will be appreciating over time.

The marriage/purchase analogy seems odd. The main upfront costs are for the wedding and rings, and those costs are usually shared. A high-earner's marriage to a trophy wife seems more like he has a lifetime lease with high monthly costs and a penalty clause for cancellation, with the penalty increasing as the assets bought with his earnings grow.

Cheers, Neil

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Post by junger » Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:17 pm

That's classic!
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Post by zhiwiller » Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:29 pm

Posts like these remind me how lucky I am to have a sweet girlfriend who couldn't care less what I drive or what I have in the bank. Anyone who refers to themselves as "beautiful (spectacularly beautiful)" needs some humility knocked into them.

/1 year anniversary next weekend!

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Post by MDIndexer » Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:34 pm

And the story continues as seen below.

Rebuttal from the women

To the gentleman who called me a depreciating asset

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-10-11, 8:23AM EDT


Dear Sir,

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.


This message is in response to:


I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

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zhiwiller
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Post by zhiwiller » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:48 pm

MDIndexer wrote:My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.
"Honey, will you write a rebuttal to this guy and use big fancy money words?"
"What's it about?"
"Oh, I'm looking for someone who makes more money."
"Oh."

I can't tell where the big fat lie is - is she a tr0ll on the original post or is she simply a liar about her situation on the second post?

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modal
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Post by modal » Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:26 pm

She fails to mention that's she's a Rent A Girlfriend (one of Cash American's new businesses) and that the man she is with has had his tubes tied.

:lol:

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VictoriaF
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Post by VictoriaF » Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:49 pm

zhiwiller wrote:
MDIndexer wrote:My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.
"Honey, will you write a rebuttal to this guy and use big fancy money words?"
"What's it about?"
"Oh, I'm looking for someone who makes more money."
"Oh."

I can't tell where the big fat lie is - is she a tr0ll on the original post or is she simply a liar about her situation on the second post?
Why do you think she could not write it herself? A well educated woman could be more articulate than a trader.

My guess is that this is a research project.

Victoria

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SoonerSunDevil
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Post by SoonerSunDevil » Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:58 pm

There's a zero percent chance that the original woman in question wrote that rebuttal. In fact, I'm pretty confident that some intelligent, sarcastic, and witty individual decided to write that for the original woman. The original woman's writing style, vocabulary, and attitude are nothing like the response.

John

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