I can't spend money without feelings of anxiety. it's really painful. I've tried the "just force yourself to do it" therapy. Current examples:
All of this is based on a variable 3% withdrawal rate from our investments. Add social security and earned income to that and we can easily spend well over $200,000/year. If market holds up this year, next year 3% + soc. security + earned income will be around $250,000. I told my wife that if we don't hit our "spend target" in a given year we'll take the unspent money and put it in a segregated account so we can be sure we spend it in the following year. I call this "carry-over" money - our carry-over money from 2020 is $30,000. Go figure.Our 27 yr. old daughter (only child) just graduated with Masters. I said to wife, let's give her a good graduation present, what do you think that should be? Wife said $500. I said $10,000, and we did that. In addition, we give daughter $500/month. Why? I figure better she enjoy this money while we're alive than when we're dead. My only constraint is spoiling her.
Daughter needed new car - $16,000, done earlier this year.
Furniture - last week my wife said I want to replace all our furniture with some really nice stuff. Will probably cost $15-$20,000 minimum. I said great, let's do it.
House painting - our house needs to be painted. Just got an estimate from company that painted a neighbor's house and neighbor was very happy with this company. $10,000. Today I'll tell them to go ahead.
Speakers - I need a good stereo system. The one I want will cost around $3,000. I'm ready to order them.
Red Sox tickets - out-of-town relatives are visiting. I said lets take them to a Red Sox game. $500 - done.
Fancy trip to Italy in 2018 - $15,000 spent
Fancy trip to France booked in 2019 before Covid hit - would have been $15,000 but cancelled due to Covid.
So what's the problem? None of this makes me happy. Every expenditure is accompanied by moderate anxiety - you know that unpleasant feeling in the pit of your stomach? Every expenditure is like standing on the edge of a quarry and hoping your jump into the water below will be safe. However, once I've spent the money I don't give it a second thought.
I have other important expenses that I'm procrastinating on - new estate planning documents, new gutter system for house. I own an iPhone 6.
I think I know where this comes from - my father (a big influence on me) was born in 1920. His father died in 1932 (think about it ....). My father was extremely frugal, and he never invested as single penny in the stock market. Growing up in the 1920/1930s he distrusted it 100% for the rest of his life.
Wife is no help - she's even more frugal than me.
I've had therapy in the past in other areas of my life, and I'm open to it now. I'd just want the therapist to be as rich or richer than me.
I'm baring my soul to strangers here. Thoughts appreciated, even "what [expletive removed by admin LadyGeek] is wrong with you" comments.
Small Law Survivor