skp wrote: ↑
Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:35 am
The fact pattern seems to be a Rorschach test for the posters--bringing out the FIRE vs. the save-invest-never-spend Bogleheads. I'm more the latter.
I'm going to stick with my original position (above) of not giving advice, but I have been thinking about the OP a lot over the last couple days, and I keep picturing situations over the next 15 years:
Dad, can I go on the class trip to Washington DC ($2,500)? No.
Dad, can I get a new iPhone ($800+)? No.
Dad, I need to have my wisdom teeth removed and insurance will only cover half. How are we going to afford that?
Dad, can I have $400 for the prom? No.
Dad, can I have $2,000 to play in the soccer league? No.
Husband, we need a new roof/furnace/washer-dryer. How are we going to afford that?
Husband, our 10 year-old car needs to be replaced. No.
Dad, can I take music lessons ($400-500/month)? No.
Husband, maybe you should go back to work. I've been out of the workforce for awhile, everybody I knew has moved on, it's hard to get a well-paying job in your 50s (especially since I've been a stay at home dad).
Even if somehow the money lasts, it will be a stressful, deprived existence, especially for the kids who will be growing up in the bay area with upper middle class and wealthy classmates. I'm guessing there will be resentment.
If the OP's savings were $5M and his family lived in a more moderate COL area, what the OP is suggesting wouldn't raise many comments, but I think most of the posters on this thread agree that the cash is going to be tight, which is why I keep thinking of the above scenarios.
Will it be worth it? Maybe, the OP knows his situation better than I do.
I just wanted to add to my comment that while emotionally my similar arrangement was a problem, financially it wasn't. With similar assets and similar spousal income (nurse not teacher) we had no issues buying new cars, going on class trips, braces, soccer leagues, music lessons. We added a screened in porch, replaced our windows, and re reroofed our house. I contributed to my IRA and 403 B to the match. My kids wouldn't have gotten an I phone not because I couldn't have afforded it, but because I am basically am frugal and wouldn't have anyway. . Maybe it was being on the same page financially that got us through it.