Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

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michaeljc70
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Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by michaeljc70 » Mon Sep 17, 2018 3:04 pm

Though the debt can be overcome, imagine what the NFV is of $150k when you are in your early 20s! I am not going to do the math and have people pick apart the numbers I use, but it is a lot of money at age 60 or 65. I would guess if I had an extra $150k when in my early 20s I probably wouldn't ever have to add to it and could retire nicely at 60.

teamDE
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Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by teamDE » Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:08 pm

My take:

OP's fiance is a normal student in the USA these days. Who DOESNT have 100k in student loans? It seems to me like she will have a higher education level and earning potential than the OP. There's no evidence in his post that she's wreckless in any way. This situation is common and absolutely surmountable with good ol fashioned communication and team work.

My guess is that the OP probably isn't very fun at parties. :sharebeer

stoptothink
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Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by stoptothink » Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:17 pm

DanEmmy wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:08 pm
My take:

OP's fiance is a normal student in the USA these days. Who DOESNT have 100k in student loans? It seems to me like she will have a higher education level and earning potential than the OP. There's no evidence in his post that she's wreckless in any way. This situation is common and absolutely surmountable with good ol fashioned communication and team work.
I believe the current median amount of student loan debt is somewhere in the $30k range, so...the vast majority of people. Even if it were common, that doesn't make it a good thing. It may not signify financial irresponsibility, but it certainly doesn't jive with the OP's personal financial ideology; the fact that they have very different feelings about this is a red flag for a successful marriage, regardless of the situation.

TN_Boy
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Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by TN_Boy » Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:57 pm

DanEmmy wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:08 pm
My take:

OP's fiance is a normal student in the USA these days. Who DOESNT have 100k in student loans? It seems to me like she will have a higher education level and earning potential than the OP. There's no evidence in his post that she's wreckless in any way. This situation is common and absolutely surmountable with good ol fashioned communication and team work.

My guess is that the OP probably isn't very fun at parties. :sharebeer
Not at all normal. If you don't believe stoptothink or me, look up the stats yourself. 155k+ is far more than the average (reading the post again, she has 130k in grad school debt and 25k in undergraduate debt), and the couple's earning potential, while reasonable, is not MD-like. In fact, as best I can tell, her debt is much closer to that of the average person coming out of med school than the average person coming out of grad school. As I said before, I think it is a solvable problem, but it's a problem nonetheless.

teamDE
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Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2016 9:16 pm

Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by teamDE » Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:54 am

TN_Boy wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:57 pm
DanEmmy wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:08 pm
My take:

OP's fiance is a normal student in the USA these days. Who DOESNT have 100k in student loans? It seems to me like she will have a higher education level and earning potential than the OP. There's no evidence in his post that she's wreckless in any way. This situation is common and absolutely surmountable with good ol fashioned communication and team work.

My guess is that the OP probably isn't very fun at parties. :sharebeer
Not at all normal. If you don't believe stoptothink or me, look up the stats yourself. 155k+ is far more than the average (reading the post again, she has 130k in grad school debt and 25k in undergraduate debt), and the couple's earning potential, while reasonable, is not MD-like. In fact, as best I can tell, her debt is much closer to that of the average person coming out of med school than the average person coming out of grad school. As I said before, I think it is a solvable problem, but it's a problem nonetheless.
I was using hyperbole in attempt to make a point in a light-hearted manner. I apologize. For what little it's worth, here are my thoughts more directly. First, you have every right to live your life the way you want to and to be as selective as you need to be in finding a mate for life. What catches my attention here, and the reason i've chosen to respond to this thread out of hundreds of others i haven't, is your tone. This is simply going off a few internet paragraphs and i of course don't know you, but it reads very condescending. It seems to me that you're quick to penalize her for taking out student loans, for which she likely had no choice, and are failing to credit her for earning an advanced degree that will provide greater earning potential than your own. Her debt is a problem that can be solved. I suspect the deeper issue here is that she's not submitting to your plan as you expect she should. If you truly respect her, you'll ask for her perspective instead of dictating the terms.

deltaneutral83
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Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by deltaneutral83 » Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:43 am

Undergrad and grad loans are two entirely different things. The other noticeable thing is that anecdotal evidence is in my opinion useless, trends and overall statistics are important. We are on a website that by default has savvy financial mindsets. OP is basically telling us the fiancee is nowhere near as financially literate as he would like. People by and large do not change. While we see the constant feel good stories of habits changing those same posters are engulfed by their own warm fuzzy feelings convincing themselves it's widespread. It's not.

PLSF program would never be an option I would consider as 10 years is an insane amount of time to plan life and needs a series of successful events to fall into place for this to happen, all events contingent upon the prior event. Go find a 4 football game parlay in Vegas and see how many of those you get right, you will find out it's not easy. I can't imagine planning 10 /15 years out this way. Going to be some winners, but not an amount I would even come close to considering before hand, just like active management.

Having 2x (number could be higher not sure of this field) starting salary in student loans fresh out of school is not something to take lightly. But the mindset of how to tackle it I believe is the bigger problem. 2x certainly isn't a huge deal if the right mindset of how to manage is present because the problem could easily be fixed by 30 (not sure of OP's age). Doesn't seem like OP is on that path.

mptfan
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Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by mptfan » Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:59 am

DanEmmy wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:54 am
It seems to me that you're quick to penalize her for taking out student loans, for which she likely had no choice,...
Um, no. She had a choice, we all have choices. I'm not saying she made a bad choice or a good choice, but she did make a choice, and choices have consequences.

michaeljc70
Posts: 5548
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by michaeljc70 » Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:10 pm

mptfan wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:59 am
DanEmmy wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:54 am
It seems to me that you're quick to penalize her for taking out student loans, for which she likely had no choice,...
Um, no. She had a choice, we all have choices. I'm not saying she made a bad choice or a good choice, but she did make a choice, and choices have consequences.
Yes. Of course you have a choice if you want to get a Masters degree! You can choose to wait and work and maybe get them to pay for some of it. Or work while getting the advanced degree to offset some costs. It seems like she was borrowing more than she even needed to live and pay for the degree.

TN_Boy
Posts: 1114
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:51 pm

Re: Massive Student Loan Debt - Fiancee

Post by TN_Boy » Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:24 pm

DanEmmy wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:54 am
TN_Boy wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:57 pm
DanEmmy wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:08 pm
My take:

OP's fiance is a normal student in the USA these days. Who DOESNT have 100k in student loans? It seems to me like she will have a higher education level and earning potential than the OP. There's no evidence in his post that she's wreckless in any way. This situation is common and absolutely surmountable with good ol fashioned communication and team work.

My guess is that the OP probably isn't very fun at parties. :sharebeer
Not at all normal. If you don't believe stoptothink or me, look up the stats yourself. 155k+ is far more than the average (reading the post again, she has 130k in grad school debt and 25k in undergraduate debt), and the couple's earning potential, while reasonable, is not MD-like. In fact, as best I can tell, her debt is much closer to that of the average person coming out of med school than the average person coming out of grad school. As I said before, I think it is a solvable problem, but it's a problem nonetheless.
I was using hyperbole in attempt to make a point in a light-hearted manner. I apologize. For what little it's worth, here are my thoughts more directly. First, you have every right to live your life the way you want to and to be as selective as you need to be in finding a mate for life. What catches my attention here, and the reason i've chosen to respond to this thread out of hundreds of others i haven't, is your tone. This is simply going off a few internet paragraphs and i of course don't know you, but it reads very condescending. It seems to me that you're quick to penalize her for taking out student loans, for which she likely had no choice, and are failing to credit her for earning an advanced degree that will provide greater earning potential than your own. Her debt is a problem that can be solved. I suspect the deeper issue here is that she's not submitting to your plan as you expect she should. If you truly respect her, you'll ask for her perspective instead of dictating the terms.
Just a note that you probably got the quotes wrong -- I assume you are responding directly to the OP and not my comments on the size of the fiancee's loans. Since I specifically avoided any value judgements on how the debt came to be. I mean, I probably have some thoughts on the loan size :happy, but that's water under the bridge. The question is what to do now.

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