I don’t need a will, right? Unmarried, accounts with beneficiaries

[LotsaGray]

If you die without a will your state will decide who gets the money. It may or may not be who you want so it is best to have a will. The only people who don't need a will is people who have no assets.

How is that possible, when there is a beneficiary on the account? I thought a beneficiary superseded a will.

Do you have any siblings who could sue to collect their share? Most states give the estate to blood relatives. I wouldn't want to take my chances. A simple will should not cost much ($1000 or less). You are probably right but who knows what a court will decide.

I would say this is a case where a DIY or even simple handwritten will works fine. Some as simple as everything goes to HER. Ofc put in the correct form for your state. As long as everything goes to one person, and there are no forced heirs, a wil can be VERY simple.

[LotsaGray]

Your will can also list your partner as the personal representative, which will make them responsible for filing your last tax return. Otherwise I think this thankless job will get assigned to a blood relative (and then any refund will be disbursed to your blood relative heirs, not your partner)

Being the rep does not change where the refund goes.

[LotsaGray]

If you were married you wouldn't necessarily need a will.
Wanting to leave assets to a unmarried partner without a Will seems very risky.

Could you say more about why this is the case?

I feel like I am not understanding the impact of setting a beneficiary on accounts. My previous understanding was that by setting a beneficiary, the assets contained in that account would pass to the beneficiary and not probate.

Is that not correct?

Only an estate lawyer licensed to practice in your state can say whether your "previous understanding" is 100% correct or only 99% correct.

Anyone can share their opinion and understanding. Only if they are charging does it mean they must be a lawyer. But being a lawyer doesn’t really carry any weight. They SHOULD know the laws and should be correct more often, but if they are wrong they are wrong. Only the procedures of the custodian or a court opinion really mean anything.

By the way, op, beneficiaries do override a will. IANAL and I am not giving legal advice but I draft wills that are recognized in my state courts and am relating my experience.

[LotsaGray]

If you die in an accident where another person is at fault, I assume you’d want your partner to get the settlement/judgment. Need a will for that.

That is a very good point.

If the proverbial Mack truck hits you and there is a million dollar settlement I would assume that it would go to other relatives like parents, siblings, etc.

There is no check coming until someone sues. Part of that suit will be about standing about who has the right to sue. A will doesn’t handle this.

[J295]

Retired lawyer here. Law review executive editor and graduated with high distinction.

Quite a few unique observations in this thread, many of which seem uninformed or stray from the question you have asked.

It seems prudent for you and your partner to meet with a capable estate planning lawyer. You may find benefit in implementing a “simple” plan that would include for each of you a will, general durable power of attorney, and power of attorney for healthcare.

[Chadnudj]

Get a will. And maybe/likely set up a trust.

If you die, and your accounts go to your partner, what happens if they shortly die right after? Do you want those assets just going to their chosen heirs (either by themselves/the state), even though they never used any of your assets? Or do you want them going to someone else (or a charity) you support?

It's not that expensive to set up a good estate plan, honestly, and worth it. Allows you to plan for a lot of contingencies.

[simplextableau]

If you die in an accident where another person is at fault, I assume you’d want your partner to get the settlement/judgment. Need a will for that.

That is a very good point.

If the proverbial Mack truck hits you and there is a million dollar settlement I would assume that it would go to other relatives like parents, siblings, etc.

There is no check coming until someone sues. Part of that suit will be about standing about who has the right to sue. A will doesn’t handle this.

But any survival action for injuries prior to the death would be brought by the personal representative and paid to the estate, so a will would be very important in allowing the girlfriend to be both the one bringing any such action and also in receiving funds paid to the estate. Without a will, it would be relatives who would fill that role and collect the funds for themselves.

[Eric]

Lawyers don't charge a lot for one, they are hoping to make money later.

"Hoping to make money later" is something of a myth, or at least overstated. Look at it this way: Unless the client is very old or very sick, it's unlikely that the will an attorney prepares will be the client's last will. Some other attorney, years later, will prepare that one. That attorney has a better chance of handling the probate, but even then, it may not happen. The executor is free to hire someone else.

(There is also the fact that in many states probate is not lucrative legal work anyway, even if the attorney happens to get it. But that, admittedly, varies by state.)

Bottom line, underpricing wills as a loss leader is a terrible business model for an attorney. Yes, there are still some who do it, but those attorneys are neither experienced estate planners nor (from a purely self-interested perspective) good at the business of practicing law.

[bsteiner]

Like most lawyers we handle estates on a time basis so it’s as good as any other work. A good feature is that I can delegate most of the work to paralegals. Another good feature is that there’s often a good deal of work in an estate administration, even though most of our clients are able to do the legwork themselves.

In about half of my estates I didn’t prepare the Will. And unfortunately occasionally I prepared a Will but the executors went to another lawyer for the estate administration.

[nisiprius]

Lawyers don't charge a lot for one, they are hoping to make money later.

"Hoping to make money later" is something of a myth, or at least overstated....

OK, I stand corrected and edited the post accordingly.

[Northern Flicker]

Do you want to provide for the possibly that she dies first?

In that case she has me as her beneficiary.

That does not address what happens to your assets when you die if you outlive your partner.

Do you want your partner or next of kin (or court appointed POA/conservator) to become your financial power of attorney if you become incapacitated? (Likewise for partner). And who will be you and your partner's medical POAs?

[muffins14]

How come no will to date (and - to the extent you care to answer - how come no marriage)?

Just turned 38, and had no assets other than brokerage account and 401k before 2023. Being "young" and asset-less, I never thought about a will before.

Purchased condo with unmarried partner in 2023. We own it jointly with right of survivorship.
Per upthread, remaining unmarried saves us about 16-18k annually in taxes, since we can deduct 100% of our mortgage interest on a ~1.5M mortgage, rather than being capped at 750k. That's in addition to some tax-rate arbitrage, since we pay a "marriage penalty" due to the tax brackets and our income levels.

Having no children removes some of the nudge to marry, and we both value the 16-18k in extra money more than the public declaration of commitment. As I am learning in the thread, there are some inheritance issues I need to consider to smooth the way if I die, or if we both die simultaneously.

Now that we have an asset, and some non-trivial investing accounts, it seems that the prudent decision is to get a will to lay out my/our desired beneficiaries for furniture or personal property, for the investing accounts (if the beneficiary set in Fidelity is insufficient).

$16-18,000/year in taxes would be a significant factor in my decision to get married or not too... That doesn't sound quite right to me though; the current MFJ brackets are very favorable in the ~$3-400k combined income range, which is probably somewhat close to your combined income if you are affording a $1.5M mortgage. Have you had those numbers checked? It could be possible, also considering the double $10,000 SALT deduction.

But yes, there's more to think about than just beneficiary designations. I didn't think about IRAs either until someone pointed it out. A small fraction of your annual tax savings should be spent on some high-quality estate planning to make sure you covered bases you didn't even know about.

If you have the income to support a $1.5M mortgage, your assets will probably increase over time which may change your estate planning needs.

Income is about 300-325 for one person, 680-725 for the other person. NYC location.

Most of the tax benefit is from the mortgage interest; deducting the interest on the additional 750k rather than being limited to the first 750k

I was using this: https://tpc-marriage-calculator.urban.org/
With the added adjustment of removing one share of the mortgage interest for the case when married.

It comes to about 264k tax when single vs 284k married. I assume adding dividends/interest won’t change it significantly

[Mr. Rumples]

Somewhere the instructions on what to do with the remains and if any services are going to take place should be included so it's legal.

[oldfatguy]

Somewhere the instructions on what to do with the remains and if any services are going to take place should be included so it's legal.

That's a separate document (at least in states I am familiar with), usually called "Disposition of Remains" or something similar.

[clip651]

How come no will to date (and - to the extent you care to answer - how come no marriage)?

Just turned 38, and had no assets other than brokerage account and 401k before 2023. Being "young" and asset-less, I never thought about a will before.

Purchased condo with unmarried partner in 2023. We own it jointly with right of survivorship.
Per upthread, remaining unmarried saves us about 16-18k annually in taxes, since we can deduct 100% of our mortgage interest on a ~1.5M mortgage, rather than being capped at 750k. That's in addition to some tax-rate arbitrage, since we pay a "marriage penalty" due to the tax brackets and our income levels.

Having no children removes some of the nudge to marry, and we both value the 16-18k in extra money more than the public declaration of commitment. As I am learning in the thread, there are some inheritance issues I need to consider to smooth the way if I die, or if we both die simultaneously.

Now that we have an asset, and some non-trivial investing accounts, it seems that the prudent decision is to get a will to lay out my/our desired beneficiaries for furniture or personal property, for the investing accounts (if the beneficiary set in Fidelity is insufficient).

$16-18,000/year in taxes would be a significant factor in my decision to get married or not too... That doesn't sound quite right to me though; the current MFJ brackets are very favorable in the ~$3-400k combined income range, which is probably somewhat close to your combined income if you are affording a $1.5M mortgage. Have you had those numbers checked? It could be possible, also considering the double $10,000 SALT deduction.

But yes, there's more to think about than just beneficiary designations. I didn't think about IRAs either until someone pointed it out. A small fraction of your annual tax savings should be spent on some high-quality estate planning to make sure you covered bases you didn't even know about.

If you have the income to support a $1.5M mortgage, your assets will probably increase over time which may change your estate planning needs.

Income is about 300-325 for one person, 680-725 for the other person. NYC location.

Most of the tax benefit is from the mortgage interest; deducting the interest on the additional 750k rather than being limited to the first 750k

I was using this: https://tpc-marriage-calculator.urban.org/
With the added adjustment of removing one share of the mortgage interest for the case when married.

It comes to about 264k tax when single vs 284k married. I assume adding dividends/interest won’t change it significantly

Rather than using an online calculator, get tax software and actually run all three returns (two single and one joint) and see what you get. Maybe the calculator is accurate, maybe not. Taxes are complicated and there are a lot of parts that interact. Seems for such big life decisions (get married or not) and for $10,000+ amounts of tax savings accurate data is important.

If you do decide to stay single just for the tax savings, run taxes both ways every few years. Things will change as your mortgage gets smaller and as tax laws change through the years.

[bighatnohorse]

Here's what happens to your invested money (assuming that is the asset in question);
You die. The investment has a named beneficiary.
Who tells the investment company that you died?

That is why you need an executor. You name the executor in your trust. You need a trust.
My guess is that the probate court would end up being your default executor if no other legal entity exists for that role.
Your beneficiaries may have to wait a long time while the principal amount will dwindle from legal fees.

I think that some firms don't mind keeping your money - forever.
It's call AUM - Assets Under Management - the more the better, the firms make a little money and it makes them appear bigger and stronger financially.
So unless you make sure that someone will send a copy of your Death Certificate and file the Beneficiary Claim Form - it won't happen.

[Rd123123]

A basic will can make clear what should happen to anything that is not covered by named account beneficiaries or JTWROS.

It's worthwhile to look at the intestate laws in your state, to see if you are comfortable with them.

For example, in my state for someone who is single with no descendants and dies intestate, the hierarchy of heir(s) then goes to the deceased individual's
- parents
- brothers and sisters
- nephews and nieces
- grandnephews and grandnieces
- any descendants of brothers or sisters

Then, it goes to
- paternal grandparents
- paternal uncles and aunts
- descendants of paternal uncles and aunts
- maternal grandparents
- maternal uncles and aunts
- descendants of maternal uncles and aunts

[bsteiner]

Here's what happens to your invested money (assuming that is the asset in question);
You die. The investment has a named beneficiary.
Who tells the investment company that you died?

That is why you need an executor. You name the executor in your trust. You need a trust.
My guess is that the probate court would end up being your default executor if no other legal entity exists for that role.
Your beneficiaries may have to wait a long time while the principal amount will dwindle from legal fees.

I think that some firms don't mind keeping your money - forever.
It's call AUM - Assets Under Management - the more the better, the firms make a little money and it makes them appear bigger and stronger financially.
So unless you make sure that someone will send a copy of your Death Certificate and file the Beneficiary Claim Form - it won't happen.

That's not correct.

While the original poster may want to provide for his/her partner in trust rather than outright, nothing in the facts presented suggests that he/she needs a trust. He/she can put the same dispositive provisions either in a Will or in a revocable trust.

Absent a Will, the court doesn't become the executor. State law provides an order of priority as to who has the right to become the administrator. In many states it's the nearest relative. In some states a majority in interest in the estate (the nearest relatives would inherit) get to pick.

The legal fees for an estate administration are usually small in relation to the size of the estate.

[stan1]

Here's what happens to your invested money (assuming that is the asset in question);
You die. The investment has a named beneficiary.
Who tells the investment company that you died?

That is why you need an executor. You name the executor in your trust. You need a trust.
My guess is that the probate court would end up being your default executor if no other legal entity exists for that role.
Your beneficiaries may have to wait a long time while the principal amount will dwindle from legal fees.

I think that some firms don't mind keeping your money - forever.
It's call AUM - Assets Under Management - the more the better, the firms make a little money and it makes them appear bigger and stronger financially.
So unless you make sure that someone will send a copy of your Death Certificate and file the Beneficiary Claim Form - it won't happen.

That's not correct.

While the original poster may want to provide for his/her partner in trust rather than outright, nothing in the facts presented suggests that he/she needs a trust. He/she can put the same dispositive provisions either in a Will or in a revocable trust.

Absent a Will, the court doesn't become the executor. State law provides an order of priority as to who has the right to become the administrator. In many states it's the nearest relative. In some states a majority in interest in the estate (the nearest relatives would inherit) get to pick.

The legal fees for an estate administration are usually small in relation to the size of the estate.

May vary by state and other facts, but in some situations the beneficiary can provide the certified death certificate to the insurer, bank, or brokerage. It does not have to come from an executor. The insurer, bank, or brokerage won't even ask for a copy of a will if there is a POD/TOD.

[increment]

May vary by state and other facts, but in some situations the beneficiary can provide the certified death certificate to the insurer, bank, or brokerage. It does not have to come from an executor.

If not a legal relative, how can the beneficiary be assured of easily getting a certified death certificate (that is, without having to ask for some kind of legal order)? Options might include (1) be in charge of the funeral arrangements (the legal right to do so may require being named in some estate-planning document), (2) have a legal relative order one.

[LotsaGray]

Here's what happens to your invested money (assuming that is the asset in question);
You die. The investment has a named beneficiary.
Who tells the investment company that you died?

That is why you need an executor. You name the executor in your trust. You need a trust.
My guess is that the probate court would end up being your default executor if no other legal entity exists for that role.
Your beneficiaries may have to wait a long time while the principal amount will dwindle from legal fees.

I think that some firms don't mind keeping your money - forever.
It's call AUM - Assets Under Management - the more the better, the firms make a little money and it makes them appear bigger and stronger financially.
So unless you make sure that someone will send a copy of your Death Certificate and file the Beneficiary Claim Form - it won't happen.

You don’t name an executor or a trust. The trust names a trustee. But none of this is pertinent to a beneficiary unless that beneficiary is the trust.

You don’t need an executor to distribute funds to a beneficiary. The beneficiary presents a death certificate to custodian along with identification. Ofc the bene needs to know they are a bene. They also need to get a death certificate. A executor can assist with both of these, but can also happen just fine wo any executor

The court will not become your executor. If needed the court will name someone to be the executor or personal representative.

You are also confusing FA and custodian. The FA under contract manages the assets and gets paid the AUM fee. Few, none I know of but suspect there are some, don’t get paid a “AUM” fee as they are not managing the asset. They may have specific fees but not generally tied to the size of the asset. The custodian also has regs they must follow concerning inactive accounts. If inactive long enough, often with required multiple anttempts to contact, the account escheats to the state. This doesn’t mean the state owns the asset. It means now the state holds the asset until owner claims it. Eventually maybe it goes to the state, this is state specific, but those times frames are very long as in decades.

Also all or most custodians will be informed of the holders death. How they act on this likely varies significantly. But secretly holding assets after death to collect fees is not going to be a long term winning biz model.

As to the FA with a contract and AUM fee, that will again be state issue. I doubt a contract with a dead person survives that death forever. Legally at death the assets are now owned by the beneficiary. And the FA has no contract with this new owner. However, the termination of the original contract is something I am not familiar with. Probably has statutory limits and notice requirements. Likely the contract itself addresses termination on death. And again, the custodian will be informed of your death via SS. They might very well sd the AUM FA from any future activity including pulling fees (any lawyers or FA here know?)

[LotsaGray]

May vary by state and other facts, but in some situations the beneficiary can provide the certified death certificate to the insurer, bank, or brokerage. It does not have to come from an executor.

If not a legal relative, how can the beneficiary be assured of easily getting a certified death certificate (that is, without having to ask for some kind of legal order)? Options might include (1) be in charge of the funeral arrangements (the legal right to do so may require being named in some estate-planning document), (2) have a legal relative order one.

Here very easy, here are four groups who can easily wo court order get a death certificate
1 relatives
2 succession rep, that is person administering estate
3 (the biggie for this discussion) BENEFICIARY
4 Lawyer representing any of the above

I am sure other states are different but I suspect most have some means for a beneficiary who is non relative

But the best evidence that not everyone needs a will is the simple truth that many people die every day wo a will. Their beneficiaries largely get paid, if needed intestate processes step in (remember pretty much anyone with an interest can request the intestate process commence but such involuntary intervention is not normally required.

Are these intestate processes optimal? Not always but often they are or are close enough.

[Northern Flicker]

How come no will to date (and - to the extent you care to answer - how come no marriage)?

Just turned 38, and had no assets other than brokerage account and 401k before 2023. Being "young" and asset-less, I never thought about a will before.

Purchased condo with unmarried partner in 2023. We own it jointly with right of survivorship.
Per upthread, remaining unmarried saves us about 16-18k annually in taxes, since we can deduct 100% of our mortgage interest on a ~1.5M mortgage, rather than being capped at 750k. That's in addition to some tax-rate arbitrage, since we pay a "marriage penalty" due to the tax brackets and our income levels.

Having no children removes some of the nudge to marry, and we both value the 16-18k in extra money more than the public declaration of commitment. As I am learning in the thread, there are some inheritance issues I need to consider to smooth the way if I die, or if we both die simultaneously.

Now that we have an asset, and some non-trivial investing accounts, it seems that the prudent decision is to get a will to lay out my/our desired beneficiaries for furniture or personal property, for the investing accounts (if the beneficiary set in Fidelity is insufficient).

$16-18,000/year in taxes would be a significant factor in my decision to get married or not too... That doesn't sound quite right to me though; the current MFJ brackets are very favorable in the ~$3-400k combined income range, which is probably somewhat close to your combined income if you are affording a $1.5M mortgage. Have you had those numbers checked? It could be possible, also considering the double $10,000 SALT deduction.

But yes, there's more to think about than just beneficiary designations. I didn't think about IRAs either until someone pointed it out. A small fraction of your annual tax savings should be spent on some high-quality estate planning to make sure you covered bases you didn't even know about.

If you have the income to support a $1.5M mortgage, your assets will probably increase over time which may change your estate planning needs.

Income is about 300-325 for one person, 680-725 for the other person. NYC location.

I think you can afford to have a will prepared.

[bsteiner]

...

Here very easy, here are four groups who can easily wo court order get a death certificate
1 relatives
2 succession rep, that is person administering estate
3 (the biggie for this discussion) BENEFICIARY
4 Lawyer representing any of the above

I am sure other states are different but I suspect most have some means for a beneficiary who is non relative
...

It varies from state to state. In some states such as Florida, anyone can get a death certificate for any dead person (though only certain categories of persons can get one that shows the cause of death). In other states, only a narrow class of persons can get a death certificate without a court order.

[epoche]

Ignore all the suggestions to just get married in this thread. You'll do what is right for your situation and you don't have to justify your choice to anyone but yourselves.
You simply want to make sure that you've replicated the relevant rights regarding finances, decision-making, etc.

You've already gotten good advice from those with the appropriate experience in this thread, but it is important enough that some can be repeated.

If you and your partner want input on health and financial decisions for one another, you definitely need a durable power of attorney and a health care proxy.
Since you are in NY state, you can likely just use the Health Care Proxy form from the NY Department of Health, no lawyer or notary needed, but must be signed by two witnesses:
https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/1430.pdf (link opens pdf)
For power of attorney, there is a NYS suggested short form as well. It does require notarization.
For all but the most unusual situations, these will be sufficient:
https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/GOB/5-1513

Some hospitals and financial institutions will prefer that you fill out their own HC Proxy or POA form, so it is recommended to put your relevant forms on file with them in advance or sign their form. It can sometimes be a hassle to get them to accept the standard forms even though they are legally required to do so. Once you become incompetent to designate POA or Health Care Proxy via accident or otherwise, you can no longer do so and your partner will have little recourse.

Default laws of your state will not recognize an unregistered partnership. If you want the additional protections listed, for $35 and an in-person appointment, you can register your partnership with the NYC City Clerk (assuming you are a resident of NYC):
https://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/content/d ... gistration
Note that these rights do not include all that a POA or Health Care Proxy may afford, and is not a substitute for the above.

It is likely a good idea to also have a will, because it allows you to designate your wishes for any property you may have forgotten to delegate (or that cannot be delegated) via beneficiaries. It lets you name your partner as your estate's personal representative (a.k.a. executor) if your so desire. And it lets you designate a plan if your partner predeceases you or if you simultaneously expire. Maybe you'd prefer some of your partner's relatives, a charity, or others receive in that case vs. all going according to intestacy. Here's the NYS sequence:
https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/when ... tacy.shtml
A simple will is likely good enough in your case. The NYS Bar Association has helpfully provided a sample. The last page with notarization is only required if you want it to be a "self-proving" will without the potential necessity of testimony of the witnesses if it were contested:
https://nysba.org/NYSBA/Downloadable%25 ... 9small.pdf

Generally, both of you would have all 3 documents, so a total of 6 between you.

Obviously, make sure that you are both listed as named insured on home policies, auto policies, etc. as necessary, and that life insurance policies (perhaps provided by work?) list the partner as beneficiary.

Hope that is helpful.

[stan1]

May vary by state and other facts, but in some situations the beneficiary can provide the certified death certificate to the insurer, bank, or brokerage. It does not have to come from an executor.

If not a legal relative, how can the beneficiary be assured of easily getting a certified death certificate (that is, without having to ask for some kind of legal order)? Options might include (1) be in charge of the funeral arrangements (the legal right to do so may require being named in some estate-planning document), (2) have a legal relative order one.

Let's back up. I don't think anyone is recommending OP and partner forego getting their legal affairs in order whether through an estate plan or filling out their state's relevant documents. If they are in a long term relationship getting married gives them the advantage of all the legal rights that come with marriage but they don't want to do that because it will cost them more in taxes and appear to be youngish so likelihood of death may be low and they aren't looking at the long list of legal benefits. They should not get married if they don't want to. Maybe that will change as they get older. This is also the 50 US state answer. The SSA Form 721 (Statement of Death by Funeral Director) has a spot to enter the name and SSN of the surviving spouse. If they don't want to get married then do low cost paperwork for a will, power of attorney, and health care directive so the partner has some legal standing. Or at least use their state's fillable forms.

Death certificates are state documents so there are 50 different processes on how they work. On my mom's death certificate I am listed as the "informant" and the mortuary provided certified death certificates to the informant. I'm not recommending this; people should get their affairs in order. Each state has a different process to get certified death certificates. No assumptions should be made.

People should also try to make their heirs and executors lives easier not harder.

[increment]

Death certificates are state documents so there are 50 different processes on how they work. On my mom's death certificate I am listed as the "informant" and the mortuary provided certified death certificates to the informant. I'm not recommending this; people should get their affairs in order. Each state has a different process to get certified death certificates. No assumptions should be made.

Don't even assume that you can know which state will be issuing your death certificates.

Yes, it is better to have appropriate legal documents naming whoever you want to handle all these matters instead of hoping that everything is taken care of once you have beneficiaries on file.

[Emiliania]

If you die without a will your state will decide who gets the money. It may or may not be who you want so it is best to have a will. The only people who don't need a will is people who have no assets.

How is that possible, when there is a beneficiary on the account? I thought a beneficiary superseded a will.

Do you have any siblings who could sue to collect their share? Most states give the estate to blood relatives. I wouldn't want to take my chances. A simple will should not cost much ($1000 or less). You are probably right but who knows what a court will decide.

I would say this is a case where a DIY or even simple handwritten will works fine. Some as simple as everything goes to HER. Ofc put in the correct form for your state. As long as everything goes to one person, and there are no forced heirs, a wil can be VERY simple.

We are in a very similar situation as the OP, taking a very similar approach. I do advise a few options:
1) A very simple will to define an executor and cover the miscellaneous possessions. It also covers roughly for any unlikelies: both partners die in the same accident, any messed up beneficiaries at the financial institution, etc. (A simple will can happen quickly: use a template, have your buddies witness it. They do not need to see the content.)
2) Medical POA
3) Durable POA in case of incapacity.

It's good to have a moderate pot of money that doesn't transfer-on-death that can be used by the estate to pay final expenses, including an hourly rate for the poor friend who gets stuck with being executor.

The other issue: why avoid the official status of marriage? A key reason for us is to side-step an important risk: a financial catastrophe that could wipe out the couple's savings. In this era, the common cause would be an expensive illness. If a couple is not legally married, only half of the savings are lost. This is known as the "problem of the community spouse" and is more likely to fall on younger, often female, partners.

That said, an estate lawyer is a good idea.

[bsteiner]

...
Income is about 300-325 for one person, 680-725 for the other person. NYC location.

...

Joint ownership, TOD or simple Wills could be a disaster. With that income, you'll almost certainly have taxable estates. There's no portability for the Federal estate tax if you're not married, and there's no portablity for the New York estate tax even if you are married.

Also, the New York estate tax exclusion amount is "only" $6,940,000 (indexed from 2024), and is phased out between 100% and 105% of that amount, so if your estate is 105% of the New York exclusion amount, you get no benefit from it.

Leaving your estates to each other outright in any of these ways is could cost millions of dollars of unnecessary estate taxes.

The solution is to have Wills in which you leave your estates to each other in trust so that the deceased spouse's assets won't be included in the surviving spouse's estate for estate tax purposes.

[muffins14]

Ignore all the suggestions to just get married in this thread. You'll do what is right for your situation and you don't have to justify your choice to anyone but yourselves.
You simply want to make sure that you've replicated the relevant rights regarding finances, decision-making, etc.

You've already gotten good advice from those with the appropriate experience in this thread, but it is important enough that some can be repeated.

If you and your partner want input on health and financial decisions for one another, you definitely need a durable power of attorney and a health care proxy.
Since you are in NY state, you can likely just use the Health Care Proxy form from the NY Department of Health, no lawyer or notary needed, but must be signed by two witnesses:
https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/1430.pdf (link opens pdf)
For power of attorney, there is a NYS suggested short form as well. It does require notarization.
For all but the most unusual situations, these will be sufficient:
https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/GOB/5-1513

Some hospitals and financial institutions will prefer that you fill out their own HC Proxy or POA form, so it is recommended to put your relevant forms on file with them in advance or sign their form. It can sometimes be a hassle to get them to accept the standard forms even though they are legally required to do so. Once you become incompetent to designate POA or Health Care Proxy via accident or otherwise, you can no longer do so and your partner will have little recourse.

Default laws of your state will not recognize an unregistered partnership. If you want the additional protections listed, for $35 and an in-person appointment, you can register your partnership with the NYC City Clerk (assuming you are a resident of NYC):
https://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/content/d ... gistration
Note that these rights do not include all that a POA or Health Care Proxy may afford, and is not a substitute for the above.

It is likely a good idea to also have a will, because it allows you to designate your wishes for any property you may have forgotten to delegate (or that cannot be delegated) via beneficiaries. It lets you name your partner as your estate's personal representative (a.k.a. executor) if your so desire. And it lets you designate a plan if your partner predeceases you or if you simultaneously expire. Maybe you'd prefer some of your partner's relatives, a charity, or others receive in that case vs. all going according to intestacy. Here's the NYS sequence:
https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/when ... tacy.shtml
A simple will is likely good enough in your case. The NYS Bar Association has helpfully provided a sample. The last page with notarization is only required if you want it to be a "self-proving" will without the potential necessity of testimony of the witnesses if it were contested:
https://nysba.org/NYSBA/Downloadable%25 ... 9small.pdf

Generally, both of you would have all 3 documents, so a total of 6 between you.

Obviously, make sure that you are both listed as named insured on home policies, auto policies, etc. as necessary, and that life insurance policies (perhaps provided by work?) list the partner as beneficiary.

Hope that is helpful.

Thank you!

[muffins14]

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Income is about 300-325 for one person, 680-725 for the other person. NYC location.

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Joint ownership, TOD or simple Wills could be a disaster. With that income, you'll almost certainly have taxable estates. There's no portability for the Federal estate tax if you're not married, and there's no portablity for the New York estate tax even if you are married.

Also, the New York estate tax exclusion amount is "only" $6,940,000 (indexed from 2024), and is phased out between 100% and 105% of that amount, so if your estate is 105% of the New York exclusion amount, you get no benefit from it.

Leaving your estates to each other outright in any of these ways is could cost millions of dollars of unnecessary estate taxes.

The solution is to have Wills in which you leave your estates to each other in trust so that the deceased spouse's assets won't be included in the surviving spouse's estate for estate tax purposes.

For now the assets are not at that level, but combined assets could be in the next 7-10 years in real terms. likely would marry by then as well.

I need to look up what portability means in this context