Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

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dcabler
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by dcabler »

Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 5:30 am
GaryA505 wrote: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:37 pm Does anyone here have Fear of Retiring? What is the cure?

I mean, you work your whole life, struggling at times to just make it. After a while you make enough to live comfortably, and then eventually you find you have enough to retire but you're still not convinced. Some people call this the "scars of scarcity".
The cure will be when you actually retire and your world doesn’t explode.

Know your expenses fully. Compare 25 times expense to your portfolio. If portfolio is equal or greater - RETIRE!
Instead of a multiple of expenses, I would recommend using the Funded Ratio to calculate readiness. It makes you think about cash flows and their sources without implying that you're going to use anything like SWR for your withdrawals.
viewtopic.php?t=407798

Anyway, I was having a similar conversation with a fellow retiree last night. He and I are both recent retirees. There are at least 2 aspects to this. For some people, it's obviously financial. You can never know for sure until you're actually in it and all you can do is prepare for it to increase your odds of a financially successful retirement. This forum gives you many tools for that.

The other thing I think that comes into play is that a lot of people didn't have the best role models for what being retired might look like. There are concerns about social isolation and doing things like sitting in front of the TV for hours.

It's been said before, but you have to be both financially ready and emotionally ready which means understanding what it is you're "retiring into" instead of just what you're "retiring from".

cheers.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by GaryA505 »

Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 5:30 am
GaryA505 wrote: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:37 pm Does anyone here have Fear of Retiring? What is the cure?

I mean, you work your whole life, struggling at times to just make it. After a while you make enough to live comfortably, and then eventually you find you have enough to retire but you're still not convinced. Some people call this the "scars of scarcity".
The cure will be when you actually retire and your world doesn’t explode.

Know your expenses fully. Compare 25 times expense to your portfolio. If portfolio is equal or greater - RETIRE!
Ya sure, but what if it IMPLODES? :happy
Get most of it right and don't make any big mistakes. All else being equal, simpler is better. Simple is as simple does.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Dottie57 »

GaryA505 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 9:44 am
Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 5:30 am
GaryA505 wrote: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:37 pm Does anyone here have Fear of Retiring? What is the cure?

I mean, you work your whole life, struggling at times to just make it. After a while you make enough to live comfortably, and then eventually you find you have enough to retire but you're still not convinced. Some people call this the "scars of scarcity".
The cure will be when you actually retire and your world doesn’t explode.

Know your expenses fully. Compare 25 times expense to your portfolio. If portfolio is equal or greater - RETIRE!
Ya sure, but what if it IMPLODES? :happy
Well a lot of thiigs can implode.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Darwin »

Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 4:45 pm
GaryA505 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 9:44 am
Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 5:30 am
GaryA505 wrote: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:37 pm Does anyone here have Fear of Retiring? What is the cure?

I mean, you work your whole life, struggling at times to just make it. After a while you make enough to live comfortably, and then eventually you find you have enough to retire but you're still not convinced. Some people call this the "scars of scarcity".
The cure will be when you actually retire and your world doesn’t explode.

Know your expenses fully. Compare 25 times expense to your portfolio. If portfolio is equal or greater - RETIRE!
Ya sure, but what if it IMPLODES? :happy
Well a lot of thiigs can implode.
A bit of an understatement, if you look at life overall. No guarantees, guaranteed!
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Dottie57 »

Darwin wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 10:44 pm
Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 4:45 pm
GaryA505 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 9:44 am
Dottie57 wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2023 5:30 am
GaryA505 wrote: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:37 pm Does anyone here have Fear of Retiring? What is the cure?

I mean, you work your whole life, struggling at times to just make it. After a while you make enough to live comfortably, and then eventually you find you have enough to retire but you're still not convinced. Some people call this the "scars of scarcity".
The cure will be when you actually retire and your world doesn’t explode.

Know your expenses fully. Compare 25 times expense to your portfolio. If portfolio is equal or greater - RETIRE!
Ya sure, but what if it IMPLODES? :happy
Well a lot of thiigs can implode.
A bit of an understatement, if you look at life overall. No guarantees, guaranteed!
I’ve learned to not worry excessively about retirement money. I’ve saved consistently since 1988 and retired in 2018. The only thing I can do is live within my means and have a plan for what to do if things Implode financially, That is it.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by GaryA505 »

Here I am 9 months since original post, and still haven't pulled the trigger yet. :(
Last edited by GaryA505 on Mon May 13, 2024 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by ScooterBob »

GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 1:04 pm Here I am 9 months since original pos, and still haven't pulled the trigger yet. :(
I have a friend that is in the same boat. After long, long, talks I finally told him "you're not ready". Financially he is by a long shot but mentally nowhere near ready. He can't "take the leap" even though he knows he can. It's torturing him. You'll know when you're ready. I planned for it for almost all my working years. I couldn't wait to get out. It's actually better (for me at least) than I even thought it would be.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Random Musings »

GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 1:04 pm Here I am 9 months since original pos, and still haven't pulled the trigger yet. :(
Have you even considered going to 3 days a week, transitioning towards full retirement?

You also have probably saved more the last nine months, which should reduce you anxiety as you probably have more net worth as well as nine months less of retirement expenses needed.

Regardless, when the sweet release comes, your retirement or working days will be over. I hope it's your retirement days.

Good Luck !

RM
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Claudia Whitten »

GaryA505 wrote: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:37 pm Does anyone here have Fear of Retiring? What is the cure?

I mean, you work your whole life, struggling at times to just make it. After a while you make enough to live comfortably, and then eventually you find you have enough to retire but you're still not convinced. Some people call this the "scars of scarcity".
Good topic. Fear of retiring is real, as is post-retirement depression. Watch this video on the "four phases" of retirement.

https://youtu.be/DMHMOQ_054U?si=GY8D_nga8yxCLeQi
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by OMY »

unwitting_gulag wrote: Thu Aug 17, 2023 8:07 pm
quantAndHold wrote: Thu Aug 17, 2023 5:23 pm
HA retiree of "normal" age can still self-berate over not choosing to work a few additional years, to goose that portfolio and to reduce the number of years of portfolio drawdown. But the very normalcy of normal age, assuages the fear. An early-retiree doesn't have that luxury. There's gnawing sense of having been impatient, of opportunity-cost, of doing something disreputable and immoral by ceasing gainful full-time employment too soon.. even if one is already sitting at huge ratio of capital to annual expenses.
Wow, never read this thread before, so glad it has resurfaced….this just summarized my anxiety to the the T…thank you for isolating this so eloquently for me…
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by GaryA505 »

OMY wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 2:21 pm
unwitting_gulag wrote: Thu Aug 17, 2023 8:07 pm
quantAndHold wrote: Thu Aug 17, 2023 5:23 pm
HA retiree of "normal" age can still self-berate over not choosing to work a few additional years, to goose that portfolio and to reduce the number of years of portfolio drawdown. But the very normalcy of normal age, assuages the fear. An early-retiree doesn't have that luxury. There's gnawing sense of having been impatient, of opportunity-cost, of doing something disreputable and immoral by ceasing gainful full-time employment too soon.. even if one is already sitting at huge ratio of capital to annual expenses.
Wow, never read this thread before, so glad it has resurfaced….this just summarized my anxiety to the the T…thank you for isolating this so eloquently for me…
Yes, I think it's more anxiety than fear.
Get most of it right and don't make any big mistakes. All else being equal, simpler is better. Simple is as simple does.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by AlohaBill »

I had no fear of retiring at all. However, I must admit that I asked permission from my wife to quit teaching. I was very surprised when she okayed the deed. I feared her response more than anything. I went golfing 3 days a week and I walked along the American River Bike Trail at least 4 days a week. Life was good until my hip and knee couldn’t take swings anymore. I feel fortunate to have had 18 years of retirement to do all the things I’ve done including watching the grass grow and the myriad of shows on the boob tube. 🤓
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by trueson1 »

I was ready to retire when I did. I had a high stress job for 25 years. When I pulled the plug, I never looked back. Best decision I ever made.

It is important to retire to something as others have said (Travel, fishing, helping others, gardening, golf or combination thereof) to keep that sense of purpose.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by HanSolo »

GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 2:25 pm Yes, I think it's more anxiety than fear.
There was an article about dealing with the transition into late-career and retirement (linked in a previous thread):
HanSolo wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:29 pm The Atlantic ran a piece that illustrates the problem of loss of relevance, and why that might be even harder for people coming out of more prominent positions. It offers ideas on how to make the transition to a different phase of life, so that it doesn't wind up seeming empty.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ne/590650/
If it's behind a subscription wall, an archive is available here:
http://web.archive.org/web/201906191335 ... ne/590650/
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by rockstar »

GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 2:25 pm
OMY wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 2:21 pm
unwitting_gulag wrote: Thu Aug 17, 2023 8:07 pm
quantAndHold wrote: Thu Aug 17, 2023 5:23 pm
HA retiree of "normal" age can still self-berate over not choosing to work a few additional years, to goose that portfolio and to reduce the number of years of portfolio drawdown. But the very normalcy of normal age, assuages the fear. An early-retiree doesn't have that luxury. There's gnawing sense of having been impatient, of opportunity-cost, of doing something disreputable and immoral by ceasing gainful full-time employment too soon.. even if one is already sitting at huge ratio of capital to annual expenses.
Wow, never read this thread before, so glad it has resurfaced….this just summarized my anxiety to the the T…thank you for isolating this so eloquently for me…
Yes, I think it's more anxiety than fear.
It’s probably like buying a stock. The day after it tanks and the panic sets in. I can see it being easier at market bottom than market top.

Of course, you can always find out that you have a health problem.

I’m a couple of years from being FI. But I can’t see myself doing the one more year thing past 60.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by beyou »

GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 1:04 pm Here I am 9 months since original post, and still haven't pulled the trigger yet. :(
Are there specifics of what is holding you back ?

Unsure of your expense assumptions, which ones ?
Unsure of how to fill your time ? What ideas or questions ?

Hard to help without specifics.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Tdubs »

This thread resurfaced the very day I told my boss, after months of agonizing over it, I'm done at the end of the year.

It's a relief, I think.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by 123 »

I think at least some of those that have a fear of retiring see it as a life event. For them retirement might be the last life event they see preceding death. Perhaps they remain hopeful that if they don't reach retirement they won't reach death.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

123 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:58 pm I think at least some of those that have a fear of retiring see it as a life event. For them retirement might be the last life event they see preceding death. Perhaps they remain hopeful that if they don't reach retirement they won't reach death.
After seeing pops get horribly sick and die in his late 50s, I have an innate fear of ‘dying at my desk’.

I’m trying to negotiate an early release from da boss (my wife).
Min 2 years away, max 5 years away. It may be the most important personal milestone for me, representing a level of freedom I only had during school summers.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Chv396 »

I was very fearful of retiring. I was afraid we would run out of funds or run out of things to occupy our time or that it would be “boring.” We’ve been retired for a few months now and non of these fears have come true. I still carefully track our monthly spending, to make certain we’re “on budget” and so far, so good.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Silverado »

Tdubs wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:22 pm This thread resurfaced the very day I told my boss, after months of agonizing over it, I'm done at the end of the year.

It's a relief, I think.
Nicely done, congrats! I am waiting for the household committee to reach unanimous decision. Fortunately, I am seriously coasting right now, fully remote, labeled as a knowledge leader on a very specialized component, and have enough experience to tiptoe through the politics. It’s pretty easy to move my projects along and not be a burden to my boss. I feel for those who are on the cusp of going and have stressful jobs. The last few months/years have to be rough.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Miriam2 »

123 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:58 pm I think at least some of those that have a fear of retiring see it as a life event. For them retirement might be the last life event they see preceding death. Perhaps they remain hopeful that if they don't reach retirement they won't reach death.
For sure this is so true for so many of us. It's a real life milestone that indicates we are on the other side of the hill and gliding down :shock: :annoyed
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by faanger101 »

Miriam2 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 9:44 pm
123 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:58 pm I think at least some of those that have a fear of retiring see it as a life event. For them retirement might be the last life event they see preceding death. Perhaps they remain hopeful that if they don't reach retirement they won't reach death.
For sure this is so true for so many of us. It's a real life milestone that indicates we are on the other side of the hill and gliding down :shock: :annoyed
This!
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by RajaDada »

I'm afraid of retiring too soon and running out of money AND of not retiring soon enough to enjoy life before old age catches up.

Sometimes I hope I just get laid off. :happy
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by SB1234 »

RajaDada wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 10:02 pm I'm afraid of retiring too soon and running out of money AND of not retiring soon enough to enjoy life before old age catches up.

Sometimes I hope I just get laid off. :happy
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by James.534 »

I fear the unknown of making the biggest active financial and lifestyle decision of my life. It is easy to keep the status quo.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by OMY »

James.534 wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 7:00 am I fear the unknown of making the biggest active financial and lifestyle decision of my life. It is easy to keep the status quo.
+1. But, I will say this group has helped me tremendously as of late. The numbers are what they are, and that’s the easy part - if they are close or short, keeping going until that changes. But, I have learned, hidden behind every numbers question, is the mental stuff. And hearing folks, who have no real motive on this annomous site except to help and share, say “you are fine,” “it’s not a numbers problem,” and “you will get through this,” is soooo reassuring.

Without this site, I would have assumed “I have more than enough” (but the financially conservative vibe here changed that). Then, as a result of this site, I swung all the way to the other side and thought “there is never enough.” This forced me to rethink on spending (I counted every penny and sorted into 20 categories for 24 months 🤪, inflation, LTC, taxes, “retire to something,” Roth conversions, ACA, etc.

Now, after months of analysis recommended on this site, I’m solidly in the middle, steadily grounded, “comfortable in my own financial skin,” and ready…I should now change my username on this site! Thanks to this group here and the sharing of experiences in this final big decision in life…

Great post, OP!
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by GaryA505 »

beyou wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:21 pm
GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 1:04 pm Here I am 9 months since original post, and still haven't pulled the trigger yet. :(
Are there specifics of what is holding you back ?

Unsure of your expense assumptions, which ones ?
Unsure of how to fill your time ? What ideas or questions ?

Hard to help without specifics.
My reason for starting this thread was to hear of other people's similar situations and thoughts on the subject.

I my case, we have reached basic financial independence but because of our particular family situation there are a lot of unknowns. I got married and had kids really late in life (did I say really really late?) so that makes it more complicated. For most people my age, if they have kids they have been independent for a long time and have kids of their own. I did things different, really different (did I say really really different?). My kids will be hitting college age in 2 years and 5 years. The younger one wants to be a MD. I spent 4 hours with him yesterday helping him complete a human biology project for school. I loved it. So I'm obviously not worried at all about how to fill my time. It's quite the contrary.

But hesitation to retire doesn't require any special circumstances. It's common so I like to hear about other people's situations.
Get most of it right and don't make any big mistakes. All else being equal, simpler is better. Simple is as simple does.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by beyou »

GaryA505 wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 10:55 am
beyou wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:21 pm
GaryA505 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 1:04 pm Here I am 9 months since original post, and still haven't pulled the trigger yet. :(
Are there specifics of what is holding you back ?

Unsure of your expense assumptions, which ones ?
Unsure of how to fill your time ? What ideas or questions ?

Hard to help without specifics.
My reason for starting this thread was to hear of other people's similar situations and thoughts on the subject.

I my case, we have reached basic financial independence but because of our particular family situation there are a lot of unknowns. I got married and had kids really late in life (did I say really really late?) so that makes it more complicated. For most people my age, if they have kids they have been independent for a long time and have kids of their own. I did things different, really different (did I say really really different?). My kids will be hitting college age in 2 years and 5 years. The younger one wants to be a MD. I spent 4 hours with him yesterday helping him complete a human biology project for school. I loved it. So I'm obviously not worried at all about how to fill my time. It's quite the contrary.

But hesitation to retire doesn't require any special circumstances. It's common so I like to hear about other people's situations.
Note moderator suggestion that you need to have a personal actionable question about yourself, your family or friends or else a post would be deemed off topic for this forum. Also it is customary to give your own details if you want others to chime in, whether for advice or just comparative situations.

I too have a situation, one that conventional advice is rarely geared for me, as I suspect may be the case for your situation as well.
We had children at a more common age and they seemed on track to become independent, but one became ill and disabled.
This really made me question the whole retirement decision. Am I better off making more $ for his future or better off home spending more time with him ? Not an easy decision as he really needs both. In the end my long time employer made it desirable for me to leave (left with choice to relocate or leave so I left). Then I had to decide find new job or retire, decided to spend time at home and not look for work. I may never be sure if I made the right or wrong decision. I do miss some aspects of my job (but don't miss others at all). Sometimes there just isn't a right or wrong answer, at least in my case there sure was not. I am fortunate at least I had a choice due to LBYM and low cost index fund investing for many years before this decision came.

Best of luck with your decision.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by LadyGeek »

I removed an off-topic post and reply. As a reminder, see: General Etiquette
At all times we must conduct ourselves in a respectful manner to other posters.
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Claudia Whitten »

RajaDada wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 10:02 pm I'm afraid of retiring too soon and running out of money AND of not retiring soon enough to enjoy life before old age catches up.

Sometimes I hope I just get laid off. :happy
+1
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Tom_T »

Some of it is a fear of not having a paycheck and switching into decumulation mode. It's a mental adjustment even if your finances look solid. I retired last summer at 65, and although I had some nervousness, things have worked out. I haven't claimed SS yet, so that's kind of a "break glass in case of emergency" situation which provides some extra security.

As for keeping busy, my thought was that I needed to give myself some space to make the transition to this next stage. Meaning, I didn't have a set list of "something to retire to", as is often recommended. It's a process. I don't miss work. I'd been working since 16, and 44 years full-time, and I'd had enough. :)
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by GaryA505 »

Tom_T wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 4:25 pm Some of it is a fear of not having a paycheck and switching into decumulation mode. It's a mental adjustment even if your finances look solid. I retired last summer at 65, and although I had some nervousness, things have worked out. I haven't claimed SS yet, so that's kind of a "break glass in case of emergency" situation which provides some extra security.

As for keeping busy, my thought was that I needed to give myself some space to make the transition to this next stage. Meaning, I didn't have a set list of "something to retire to", as is often recommended. It's a process. I don't miss work. I'd been working since 16, and 44 years full-time, and I'd had enough. :)
Ha, I can beat that. I've worked full-time 50 years. It's about 55 years if you count the years I worked my way through college (BS and MS). :P
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Tom_T »

GaryA505 wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 4:36 pm
Tom_T wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 4:25 pm Some of it is a fear of not having a paycheck and switching into decumulation mode. It's a mental adjustment even if your finances look solid. I retired last summer at 65, and although I had some nervousness, things have worked out. I haven't claimed SS yet, so that's kind of a "break glass in case of emergency" situation which provides some extra security.

As for keeping busy, my thought was that I needed to give myself some space to make the transition to this next stage. Meaning, I didn't have a set list of "something to retire to", as is often recommended. It's a process. I don't miss work. I'd been working since 16, and 44 years full-time, and I'd had enough. :)
Ha, I can beat that. I've worked full-time 50 years. It's about 55 years if you count the years I worked my way through college (BS and MS). :P
Well, then, if anyone deserves retirement, it's you! :beer
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by BrooklynInvest »

GaryA505 wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 4:36 pm
Tom_T wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 4:25 pm Some of it is a fear of not having a paycheck and switching into decumulation mode. It's a mental adjustment even if your finances look solid. I retired last summer at 65, and although I had some nervousness, things have worked out. I haven't claimed SS yet, so that's kind of a "break glass in case of emergency" situation which provides some extra security.

As for keeping busy, my thought was that I needed to give myself some space to make the transition to this next stage. Meaning, I didn't have a set list of "something to retire to", as is often recommended. It's a process. I don't miss work. I'd been working since 16, and 44 years full-time, and I'd had enough. :)
Ha, I can beat that. I've worked full-time 50 years. It's about 55 years if you count the years I worked my way through college (BS and MS). :P
This this this! I joked with a friend last night "If I never decumulate then I'm bound to live forever."

After roughly 40 years of working and saving I hit my number (and then some) by being laid off and not suing. Thought I'd land another corporate gig eventually but it's been 3 years. C'est la vie. One thing that's helped my mental state is consulting. I work maybe 30 hours a week and make about a third of what I used to with no benefits. But having a small income come in with no stress is far more valuable to me than the income alone would suggest. My wife is the CEO of a medium sized creative agency. She's also a bit younger. Both of us can't be doing 60 hour weeks any more.

I view it as my transition period. Maybe I'll get a gig, maybe it won't happen. But I don't miss that #$%ing alarm clock one bit. Granted my toddler wakes me up at the crack of dawn sometimes but that's much nicer.
Tom_T
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Tom_T »

BrooklynInvest wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 4:44 pm Granted my toddler wakes me up at the crack of dawn sometimes but that's much nicer.
You worked for 40 years and you have a toddler?? Salud!
rockstar
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by rockstar »

Wannaretireearly wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 8:27 pm
123 wrote: Mon May 13, 2024 4:58 pm I think at least some of those that have a fear of retiring see it as a life event. For them retirement might be the last life event they see preceding death. Perhaps they remain hopeful that if they don't reach retirement they won't reach death.
After seeing pops get horribly sick and die in his late 50s, I have an innate fear of ‘dying at my desk’.

I’m trying to negotiate an early release from da boss (my wife).
Min 2 years away, max 5 years away. It may be the most important personal milestone for me, representing a level of freedom I only had during school summers.
I worked with a guy that kept doing the one more year thing. He eventually retired and died two years later. So I get it.
Fungible
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Fungible »

Wow, just wow. I just read the whole thread. I didn't realize I have so much retirement uncertainty and anxiety-lite until reading this thread. I should attend a pre-retirement self-help group -- if one existed.

I'm out in one year.

I could stay longer. But I'm pretty sure I'm done. I've reached the point where I can let "it" go. Fly and be free... for the relatively few years left.

I think I have the financial part down. I think. But after losing 40% of my 401K in 2008, and 35% of my 401K in 2021... this stuff sticks with you. Yeah yeah... got it... put a couple of years of needed money in a money market like place. The money part is ok. I think. I should get a slight raise upon retirement, and draw down funds at about 4%. I have health insurance I can take with me until 'the end.' And I have LTC insurance -- although the premiums are getting a bit ridiculous -- but that's another post.

I was very much identified with my occupation for the longest time. I've been working through this. I went to a retirement seminar where a retired doctor talked about how he could not handle introducing himself as a retiree. For years he introduced himself as a doctor. After thinking about it, I learned that I had that issue too. Again, I've kind of worked through that.

But there is just so much that I don't have a handle on.

-I'm doing the classic no-no. Retiring to move away from something, without moving toward specific things.
-Other than a few general things, working out, traveling a bit... I don't have concrete hobbies. I've worked long hours for seemingly a lifetime.
-I'm moving to a place where I know virtually nobody. There are reasons for this.
-I've neglected my health, so I have no idea what I'm facing when I go and get everything checked out.
-Having ADHD, I can spend endless amounts of time 'doing stuff' without getting that much done.
-I'm going against the grain and buying a bigger home than I have now -- as I just prefer it. Does not make sense in multiple ways.
-I'm a single male heading into retirement --- apparently my group fares worst in retirement. I can change that though. Just gotta get it together.

And there is more.

I'm working through it. I'm reading a lot. I've gone to multiple retirement seminars -- and I'm going to more. And although I have a very interesting job, I can't wait to not have to go to work anymore. I can't wait for the 9-10-hour days to end.

But I'm still working through some of this. It ain't easy.
stan1
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by stan1 »

I am not optimistic about the future in any way, but having now been retired for several months I am at peace and feel a sense of relief from the present rather than worry about the future.
Wannaretireearly
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

stan1 wrote: Tue May 14, 2024 9:28 pm I am not optimistic about the future in any way, but having now been retired for several months I am at peace and feel a sense of relief from the present rather than worry about the future.
I seem to hear this sentiment more often than not.
Or my brain is now wired to pick up on these positive comments.
It’s so nice to read positive retirement experiences 👍
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
carolinaman
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by carolinaman »

I did not fear retiring but was reluctant to do so because I liked my job. I finally retired at 66. I was IT director for a large IT dept. Every time I start missing my job I think of all the problem customers or deep budget cuts we went through. Then I do not miss it so much.
Tom_T
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Re: Who has (or had) a Fear of Retiring?

Post by Tom_T »

The transition from working to not working is guaranteed to happen one way or the other. You could work until death, or not. If not, better to do it while you're healthy and the choice is under your control. Don't worry about having something to retire to. Use the time to rediscover yourself.
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