Oddlot wrote: ↑Tue Nov 23, 2021 3:20 pm
Thanks to all for your thoughtful responses.
As some of you have suspected, there is more going on here, but I don't want to get into more details. We do have concerns for our daughter's ability to live independently and manage money, but we would like to make this happen if at all possible. The relationship is OK.
I think our resources are right on the border line to fund this.
I'm intrigued by ideas along the line of an early inheritance, gift, etc. Anything out of the box, in other words.
I doubt there is a good solution for this, but maybe we are looking for something that is least bad.
I agree with others above who have suggested renting instead of buying as a good option. Lots of pluses to renting in a situation like this:
No real estate transaction costs like you would have for buying a home.
Smaller monthly assistance with rent, instead of a big lump of money gone from your portfolio to buy a house or take on a mortgage. You say your resources are on the border line to help fund this - renting would hopefully be less expensive overall, and you can pick what monthly amount you can manage and see what you can find for her in that range.
No maintenance costs (property tax, replacing and repairing appliances, new furnace, new roof, driveway repair, who's going to mow the lawn, etc with a house).
Rent is a shorter term commitment, both for you and your daughter. This may be helpful for the transition for her, with whatever challenges she might have. You could help her get a 1 year lease, and make whatever arrangements make sense in your family situation to help her a little or a lot with rent each month, plus or minus an allowance for food and utilities, etc. If it doesn't work out, at the end of the year, she can move back in with you if needed, and you're no worse off in terms of living situation for you and for her than you are now. If it doesn't work out, there's no need to sell the house (more transaction costs, plus market risk if you can't sell quickly for the price you want). And if it's working well, she can stay in the same rented apartment or house, or move to something more suitable (less expensive, more space, closer to a new job, or whatever the case might be).
Depending on the nature of your concerns, you could put limits on your help, such as you'll only keep helping with rent if she keeps her job, or gets any medical help or counseling she might need, or whatever else makes sense in her situation and your family situation, based on your concerns about her and your ability and willingness to help.
Something else to keep in mind - if you are worried she may never be self sufficient for whatever reason, it may make more sense financially to have her continue to live with you long term rather than spending down your portfolio to get her out of the house. This assumes you are all OK living together, and that she might be of some help to you as you and your wife age. Keeping expenses lower now, rather than draining your portfolio to help her now, will leave more money for you to take care of yourselves as you age, and also has the potential to leave her a larger inheritance (if you wish) which you could structure in a way to give her a regular monthly income after you are gone.
Just some thoughts. The best answer will depend on a lot of details from your situation that you may understandably not want to share here.
(edited to fix a few typos)