Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

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samsoes
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by samsoes »

balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:58 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
"A friend is more to be longed for than the light; I speak of a genuine one. And wonder not: for it were better for us that the sun should be extinguished, than that we should be deprived of friends; better to live in darkness, than to be without friends."
— St. John Chrysostom
"Happiness Is Not My Companion" - Gen. Gouverneur K. Warren. | (Avatar is the statue of Gen. Warren atop Little Round Top @ Gettysburg National Military Park.)
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telemark
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by telemark »

Think of it as giving someone younger an opportunity for a high paying job.
marcopolo
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by marcopolo »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
I retired at 51.
I guess i should be wracked with guilt.
I fixed that by moving away from all the people i used to work with.
Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
YRT70
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by YRT70 »

Why do you feel guilty? It's probably caused by your conditioning. You may be believing thoughts like 'I should work hard until age 65' 'it's not fair to retire earlier'. As a result you get to feel guilty.
Breaking free of your conditioning can be done by questioning what you believe. You could do that yourself or visit a therapist.
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Forester
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Forester »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
If you are fully retired, you are taking out more from society / the community, than you contribute. Your stock investments and social security are a claim on the productivity of other human beings. I do not believe charity, unpaid community work and so on, can address this deficit of effort, as usually wealthy people do such things to demonstrate value & worthiness in the eyes of others.
Amateur Self-Taught Senior Macro Strategist
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Garco
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Garco »

I retired at age 70. There were definite financial incentives for me to keep working that long, as both Social Security and especially my 403b plan were growing. And I had reason to continue working until my kids were settled in their careers and all of their college debt was paid off.

In retrospect I could have retired somewhat earlier, but at a financial cost.
retire2022
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by retire2022 »

startwithtruth wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 6:18 pm
I'm retiring in a few days (just shy of 61) and I'm definitely feeling survivor guilt. I've always been prone to that irrational emotion so I recognize it, and know what kind of self talk helps mitigate it (or keep it from getting worse). If you've suffered from survivor guilt before, try to view this as just one of those non-sensical emotions that you might need to observe and wait out. I'd be careful not to make choices based on trying to feel less guilty; just take your time and focus on re-inventing yourself.
I just retired August 5, 2021 at 61 as well.

I don't miss work, I do admit missing the biweekly paycheck.

I miss my work friends.

There is a lazy bias in our culture, recognize it.

I have pension, health benefits and multiple sources of funds to support my life style.
lawlopez
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by lawlopez »

Hell, I feel really bad that I didn't retire earlier when I was healthier.
bhough
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by bhough »

OP,

Thanks for posting. These threads are helpful for us all.

It is interesting that you use the word guilty and not "bored" or "lonely" or "depressed". The word guilty suggest that you own something you didn't deserve, whether it be your nest egg or these wonderful years ahead of you. If I were you, I would explore why you think that way.

I quit my job a few years ago as I was burned out and tried to start my own business. It didn't work out and I'm back as an employee, but those 18 months I had between jobs was very interesting. It was really fun to try my hand at sales/marketing/accounting and other things that I had not previously done or thought much about. That was stimulating. However, there were large gaps of downtime where I had too much time on my hands. I read > 30 books along with the paper each day and picked up some mysql coding. However, I did feel something like guilt when I was walking to lunch quietly with my own thoughts when I knew others were stressed out, missing lunch, working as hard as they could just for survival.

If you have really received something that isn't yours (wealth without work), then you have to volunteer to pay back that Karmic deficit. And not just volunteering at the local museum. You have to tutor inner city kids or do meals on wheels or work at a soup kitchen.

If however you worked very hard and saved and now have both time and money at the end of your life, you need to let go of these feelings and focus on doing things that bring you joy. Solving problems brings me joy, so I try to find problems in my life or the lives of my loved ones that I can solve. Some people derive joy from gardening, or riding a bicycle or travelling.

Thanks for your 30 years of hard work. I absolve you of any further debt you think you owe to society. You do not have to work until your death for the common good. You just have to be able to pay your own way which you've done. The rest of your time is yours.
b
Virus4762
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Virus4762 »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
How much money do you have saved up?
delamer
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by delamer »

Unless you choose to stay enmeshed in your old organization through extensive contact with your former colleagues, your level of attachment to your work will just naturally decline over time,

Any survivor’s guilt will gradually go away.
One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not. | | Alexandre Dumas, fils
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Artful Dodger
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Artful Dodger »

bhough wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:25 am It is interesting that you use the word guilty and not "bored" or "lonely" or "depressed". The word guilty suggest that you own something you didn't deserve, whether it be your nest egg or these wonderful years ahead of you. If I were you, I would explore why you think that way.


If you have really received something that isn't yours (wealth without work), then you have to volunteer to pay back that Karmic deficit. And not just volunteering at the local museum. You have to tutor inner city kids or do meals on wheels or work at a soup kitchen.

If however you worked very hard and saved and now have both time and money at the end of your life, you need to let go of these feelings and focus on doing things that bring you joy. Solving problems brings me joy, so I try to find problems in my life or the lives of my loved ones that I can solve. Some people derive joy from gardening, or riding a bicycle or travelling.

Thanks for your 30 years of hard work. I absolve you of any further debt you think you owe to society. You do not have to work until your death for the common good. You just have to be able to pay your own way which you've done. The rest of your time is yours.
b
Just like going to confession with a wise and helpful priest. Thank you, Father bhough. :sharebeer
balbrec2
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by balbrec2 »

KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 3:13 pm
balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:51 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:37 pm
balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:58 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am

rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
I am recently retired.
OP need a new group of friend because the current group is working and no time for him. He needs a new social network.

KlangFool
I don't read where it says they don't have time for him, just that they are still working. Is this something you are inferring?
My working year colleagues were like a second family and we often did things together outside of work. We still get
together on a semi regular basis. It is essential that one has a diverse group of friends from different parts of one's life.
balbrec2,

As per title of the thread.
<<Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty>>

KlangFool
We would make an interesting book club, coming away with a different meaning from the same reading
cheers
ConstantChrysalis
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by ConstantChrysalis »

Life is a bunch of phases. Welcome to your next phase. For me, reading this little-known small book (really an essay) by Churchill about his transition to retirement (when he took up painting) helped me transition into doing something completely different from my former professional life, guilt and regret free. It's worth the quick read, even if you don't care about painting.

"Painting as a Pastime"
https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/churchillws ... -00-h.html
howard71
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by howard71 »

I probably would have felt guilty retiring at 61. I retired when I was laid off at 67 and I'm now 72. It's nothing that a six-pack and a good pipe on the back porch can't fix but I often feel that I still had something to contribute to the general welfare of humanity. If I had as much money as Bill Gates I could probably alleviate the feeling but alas I do not.
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rramaswa
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

howard71 wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 4:22 pm I probably would have felt guilty retiring at 61. I retired when I was laid off at 67 and I'm now 72. It's nothing that a six-pack and a good pipe on the back porch can't fix but I often feel that I still had something to contribute to the general welfare of humanity. If I had as much money as Bill Gates I could probably alleviate the feeling but alas I do not.
one of the reasons I retired at 61 is to enjoy life when I have energy. I do hikes that are 12 miles. I don't think I could have done it at 67. The corporate America does not help humanity but helps themselves by overworking their employees. The choice is personal

Some people said I could have worked longer to leave money for legacy.
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rramaswa
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

ConstantChrysalis wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 12:15 pm Life is a bunch of phases. Welcome to your next phase. For me, reading this little-known small book (really an essay) by Churchill about his transition to retirement (when he took up painting) helped me transition into doing something completely different from my former professional life, guilt and regret free. It's worth the quick read, even if you don't care about painting.

"Painting as a Pastime"
https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/churchillws ... -00-h.html
Thank you I do enjoy painting will get this book :happy
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rramaswa
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

:beer
bhough wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:25 am OP,

Thanks for posting. These threads are helpful for us all.

It is interesting that you use the word guilty and not "bored" or "lonely" or "depressed". The word guilty suggest that you own something you didn't deserve, whether it be your nest egg or these wonderful years ahead of you. If I were you, I would explore why you think that way.

I quit my job a few years ago as I was burned out and tried to start my own business. It didn't work out and I'm back as an employee, but those 18 months I had between jobs was very interesting. It was really fun to try my hand at sales/marketing/accounting and other things that I had not previously done or thought much about. That was stimulating. However, there were large gaps of downtime where I had too much time on my hands. I read > 30 books along with the paper each day and picked up some mysql coding. However, I did feel something like guilt when I was walking to lunch quietly with my own thoughts when I knew others were stressed out, missing lunch, working as hard as they could just for survival.

If you have really received something that isn't yours (wealth without work), then you have to volunteer to pay back that Karmic deficit. And not just volunteering at the local museum. You have to tutor inner city kids or do meals on wheels or work at a soup kitchen.

If however you worked very hard and saved and now have both time and money at the end of your life, you need to let go of these feelings and focus on doing things that bring you joy. Solving problems brings me joy, so I try to find problems in my life or the lives of my loved ones that I can solve. Some people derive joy from gardening, or riding a bicycle or travelling.

Thanks for your 30 years of hard work. I absolve you of any further debt you think you owe to society. You do not have to work until your death for the common good. You just have to be able to pay your own way which you've done. The rest of your time is yours.
b
thank you
delamer
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by delamer »

howard71 wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 4:22 pm I probably would have felt guilty retiring at 61. I retired when I was laid off at 67 and I'm now 72. It's nothing that a six-pack and a good pipe on the back porch can't fix but I often feel that I still had something to contribute to the general welfare of humanity. If I had as much money as Bill Gates I could probably alleviate the feeling but alas I do not.
There are many volunteer opportunities if you want to contribute at age 72.

And you don’t need Bill Gates money. :happy
One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not. | | Alexandre Dumas, fils
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beyou
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by beyou »

I feel some guilt because I have an adult child who is struggling medically, not working. But I want to retire and my employer is making me choose between relocation or termination. I told them I prefer the severance. And I just can’t face going on job interviews nor starting over again. A new job to me means stress, and at some point one’s own health has to take top priority. I did my 36 years already.
Wannaretireearly
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Wannaretireearly »

lawlopez wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:15 am Hell, I feel really bad that I didn't retire earlier when I was healthier.
+1, I know this is how my father felt when he didn't get to retire, and got sick at 58.
Death and taxes. Only one is under your control!
Wannaretireearly
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Wannaretireearly »

rramaswa wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 5:42 pm
howard71 wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 4:22 pm I probably would have felt guilty retiring at 61. I retired when I was laid off at 67 and I'm now 72. It's nothing that a six-pack and a good pipe on the back porch can't fix but I often feel that I still had something to contribute to the general welfare of humanity. If I had as much money as Bill Gates I could probably alleviate the feeling but alas I do not.
one of the reasons I retired at 61 is to enjoy life when I have energy. I do hikes that are 12 miles. I don't think I could have done it at 67. The corporate America does not help humanity but helps themselves by overworking their employees. The choice is personal

Some people said I could have worked longer to leave money for legacy.
You've answered your own question well. Don't feel guilty. Feel proud!
Death and taxes. Only one is under your control!
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AllMostThere
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by AllMostThere »

quantAndHold wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:20 am ....... My work friends pretty much drifted away once they figured out I wasn’t going to do anything for their careers. I’m okay with that......
Wow, this is so true! After pulling the plug Jan 31st of this year, I have only heard from three co-workers. Some of the drifted no show's were people I have worked with +25 years, others single digit years. I was the "go to guy" when help or recommendations were needed as I could often see thru the forrest towards a successful path of action. I knew this drift would happen, so I too am okay with that. I have been spending much time with my DW and children, to the point we now too close! :twisted:
No, I do not feel guilty for retiring from Mega Corp. I worked and saved hard for 29 years, so now it's time to fully enjoy the fruits of my labor. DW will be joining me in the next six months. Can't wait.
It is not about how much you make, it is about how much you keep and how well you invest it. - Author Unknown | Don't buy any annuity. Your future self or your heirs will thank you. - Author AllMostThere
ElJefeDelQueso
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by ElJefeDelQueso »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
You're not retired. You're just not working for someone else. You are paying your salary to do anything you think is redeeming/valuable. This is a blessing.
kimura king
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by kimura king »

I facepalm at the posts from someone 40 or younger talking about how hard they have worked and that they are retiring. People over 50 should retire if they choose and they have the means. Just one guy's opinion.

Ben Felix recently had a video called "investing in happiness" which everyone should watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNZk-N6uDcg&t=293s
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LilyFleur
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by LilyFleur »

If you work part-time, you are semi-retired.

I am 61 and am semi-retired. I like it. I like feeling productive at my job. I live alone, and I value the social aspects, although it is not in-person. It has been a blessing to be able to work from my sofa during a pandemic.

I am learning to paint, and I am enjoying that immensely.
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jeffyscott
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by jeffyscott »

kimura king wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 10:10 pm I facepalm at the posts from someone 40 or younger talking about how hard they have worked and that they are retiring. People over 50 should retire if they choose and they have the means. Just one guy's opinion.
Why does anyone even feel a need to justify retiring, based on how hard they supposedly worked? Plenty of people are working harder for less money and can't afford to retire.

I retired in my late 50s because I had accumulated enough to do so, without "working hard". :twisted:
The two greatest enemies of the equity fund investor are expenses and emotions. ― John C. Bogle
Woodshark
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Woodshark »

I am sure by now you have gotten firm advice on retirement. I'll only tell you that I retired six years ago at 55 and I have never felt guilty and have no regrets at all.
BernardShakey
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by BernardShakey »

beyou wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:02 pm I feel some guilt because I have an adult child who is struggling medically, not working. But I want to retire and my employer is making me choose between relocation or termination. I told them I prefer the severance. And I just can’t face going on job interviews nor starting over again. A new job to me means stress, and at some point one’s own health has to take top priority. I did my 36 years already.
Wow. If you can swing it with the help of that severance, I'd do exactly what you're doing. You've done your duty, sir.
An important key to investing is having a well-calibrated sense of your future regret.
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beyou
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by beyou »

BernardShakey wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:04 pm
beyou wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:02 pm I feel some guilt because I have an adult child who is struggling medically, not working. But I want to retire and my employer is making me choose between relocation or termination. I told them I prefer the severance. And I just can’t face going on job interviews nor starting over again. A new job to me means stress, and at some point one’s own health has to take top priority. I did my 36 years already.
Wow. If you can swing it with the help of that severance, I'd do exactly what you're doing. You've done your duty, sir.
Thanks. Without the new development of supporting an adult child, I was prepared financially for retirement. Now I am not sure exactly what being prepared even means financially. Kinda makes me feel nothing is ever enough when such a surprise hits. But relevant to this thread I feel some guilt leaving any money on the table that could help my child, but as you said, at some point one has done their duty. At this point continuing to be frugal is more tolerable than facing eventual commute and high pressure work again.
chw
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by chw »

It is somewhat normal. You just need to reestablish a new routine, and the grind of your old work life will fade. Get yourself outdoors as part of this routine- I guarantee you won’t feel guilty.
michaeljc70
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by michaeljc70 »

protagonist wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 9:24 am I retired at 55. At the time, I was spending my winters in Venezuela and a month every summer in Europe.

The almost overwhelming response I got from South Americans and Europeans, when I told them that I was retired, was something on the order of "Fantastic! Wow, how did you do it? I wish I could retire at 55!!"

On the other hand, in my home country (USA), the common responses I recall getting were : "You are too young to retire!" , or , "Aren't you bored?"

OP, if you are American, perhaps that answers your question.

I suspect your guilt feelings will soon be replaced by schadenfreude, especially when you see your neighbor shoveling snow from his driveway at 6 AM to commute to work. *giggle*
+1

I've heard "you're too young to be retired" so many times. Like someone else should be deciding when I retire!
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tennisplyr
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by tennisplyr »

Sounds good to me. I retired @61…that’s was 10 years ago. Life is good :sharebeer
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.
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wander
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by wander »

I am working for a few more years. But I don't think that I will feel guilty at all when I decide to retire.
renue74
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by renue74 »

I'm 47 and sorta kinda semi-retired. I have rental houses with passive income.

All our friends always say, "I wished I were you. No stress, no boss, do what you want."

Happiness and sadness is a state of mind. A person can be so happy sitting at home reading all day. While another would hate it.

You find that you have more time to do anything you want. Who cares what others think.

Find your center. FInd what you want to do with the rest of your life. Get a hobby or two. Make friends who are also retired.

I take up new hobbies every year. Beekeeping and kiteboarding this year. I subscribe to "Scott's Cheap Travel" and get emails everyday. You know how people say, "I can fly to Madrid for $350 next month?" Well.....everyday I look at flights and book something monthly or bi-monthly. And...I enjoy traveling solo. (My wife still works.)

It's trial and error sometimes. The one thing to not do....don't care what others think. You made it. Congrats.
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CyclingDuo
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by CyclingDuo »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 amI retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt. I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire. Most my colleagues are working. I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
OP, rest assured you are not alone. There are tons of articles and books written on the subject of, or inclusion of the topic: retirement guilt. I would suggest you dive in and do some reading on the subject to confirm that you are not alone with your feelings, but rather you are going through a natural part of the retirement syndrome.

Some examples...

https://www.everydayhealth.com/senior-h ... guilt.aspx

https://retiredsyd.typepad.com/retireme ... -idea.html

https://intentionalretirement.com/2017/ ... etirement/

https://www.physicianonfire.com/guilt-o ... etirement/

https://medium.com/illumination/5-reaso ... de4e56b70b

https://sites.insead.edu/facultyresearc ... m?did=2217

https://satisfyingretirement.blogspot.c ... ement.html

CyclingDuo
"Save like a pessimist, invest like an optimist." - Morgan Housel
slyfox1357
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by slyfox1357 »

KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
This....
most, if not all, are acquaintances // work friends who you'd naturally drift away from whether you retired or found another job.
Replace those indirectly by/with friends and acquaintances you'll meet in your new 'world' - hobbies, volunteering, etc....

..will make a world of difference in your perspective
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MrBobcat
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by MrBobcat »

I'm looking at pulling the plug in 2-3 years, I'll be 57-58. I don't feel guilty, but I'm feeling very self-conscious about the decision as nobody in my family has ever retired "early". My grandfather retired at 65, only to go on to drive Hertz cars and take insurance pictures for almost another 30 years (he died at 99). My dad is 79 and still works part of the year. My mom's side of the family are farmers and all of them work till the day they die. It feels a bit weird to break family tradition. It's really hard to break out of the mindset for me that one has to work if one can, even if you don't really need the money. My dad is finally coming to the realization that he and my mom can't possibly spend all they've saved.
dbr
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by dbr »

Feeling guilty about retiring at 61 is silly. Beyond that I am not sure I can drill down into where your feelings are coming from.

Note that retirees can do many things of great social and personal worth that exceed what they did for money. Retiring at 61 might be construed as taking responsibility to do some of those things.

Employment is a means to an end and not a moral obligation.
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cheese_breath
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by cheese_breath »

howard71 wrote: Wed Sep 15, 2021 4:22 pm I probably would have felt guilty retiring at 61. I retired when I was laid off at 67 and I'm now 72. It's nothing that a six-pack and a good pipe on the back porch can't fix but I often feel that I still had something to contribute to the general welfare of humanity. If I had as much money as Bill Gates I could probably alleviate the feeling but alas I do not.
There's distressed humanity in your city and charities needing volunteers to help them. It's not Bill Gates type of help, but every little bit helps.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.
susan123
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by susan123 »

You're 61 and you've earned it! Many people retire in their 50s. I wouldn't feel guilty at all if I were you! I'm in my late 40s and working part time. I may pull the plug at some point soon and I wouldn't feel a shred of guilt what-so-ever.

Enjoy your retirement! :beer :beer
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rramaswa
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

:beer
susan123 wrote: Thu Sep 16, 2021 1:44 pm You're 61 and you've earned it! Many people retire in their 50s. I wouldn't feel guilty at all if I were you! I'm in my late 40s and working part time. I may pull the plug at some point soon and I wouldn't feel a shred of guilt what-so-ever.

Enjoy your retirement! :beer :beer
tj
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by tj »

quantAndHold wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:20 am I retired at 52. At the height of COVID, I felt a bit purposeless, probably because I couldn’t travel and everything I had been doing shut down for several months, and I got bored.

Other than that, no, I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty. I’m much happier and healthier. The things I spend my time on are rewarding to me. I earn a bit of money from one, but it’s something I would do for free. I’m busy, and my life is pretty structured. I get up in the morning and do stuff all day, just like when I was working, except it’s stuff I am choosing to do.

Before I retired, I was fortunate that my primary social circle was people from outside work. My work friends pretty much drifted away once they figured out I wasn’t going to do anything for their careers. I’m okay with that.

The other volunteers at my volunteer job (symphony usher) always assume, because of my age (late 50’s now) that I’m still working. If they have enough curiosity to ask, I tell them I’m retired. If they don’t, I don’t bother.
How did you get into ushering? That sounds fun! Are you able to hear any of the concerts or are always seating people who come in late?
international001
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by international001 »

telemark wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:48 pm Think of it as giving someone younger an opportunity for a high paying job.
That's not a reason

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lump_of_labour_fallacy
WhiteMaxima
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by WhiteMaxima »

Life is limited. One year delay is one year less of retirement life.
tj
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by tj »

WhiteMaxima wrote: Thu Sep 16, 2021 4:34 pm Life is limited. One year delay is one year less of retirement life.
...You can delay while being retired.
Golf maniac
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Golf maniac »

Congrats on your retirement. I retired 6 years ago at 56. The first three months I woke up each morning with a grin on my face, like I was getting away with something. For me the lessons that I have learned is I still needed to have some structure and passion in my life. Golf was an obvious one for me but so was volunteering, working out, riding my bike, and dragon boating, yes dragon boating look it up. I fill my week up with these and a few other activities. Week ends are when me and my spouse do things together since we have different interests. We are also traveling a lot and are currently in Utah at the Mighty 5 national parks. To me it was exciting to go out and find new things that I was passionate about and enjoyed. Good luck on your journey and hoping for happiness and a long life.
wrongfunds
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by wrongfunds »

Mr Ramaswamy,

What exactly do you feel guilty about? Now I should NOT ask this question as I am older than you and have NOT retired NOR do I have any immediate plan for it but I am just curious to understand where that guilt complex is coming from.

Even Vedant/Upnishada well tell you that one goes through different stages of life and moving on to a stage where one stops working is perfectly normal. Your username implies you are most likely familiar with that concept.
tj
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by tj »

Golf maniac wrote: Thu Sep 16, 2021 4:41 pm Congrats on your retirement. I retired 6 years ago at 56. The first three months I woke up each morning with a grin on my face, like I was getting away with something. For me the lessons that I have learned is I still needed to have some structure and passion in my life. Golf was an obvious one for me but so was volunteering, working out, riding my bike, and dragon boating, yes dragon boating look it up. I fill my week up with these and a few other activities. Week ends are when me and my spouse do things together since we have different interests. We are also traveling a lot and are currently in Utah at the Mighty 5 national parks. To me it was exciting to go out and find new things that I was passionate about and enjoyed. Good luck on your journey and hoping for happiness and a long life.
I totally googled Dragon Boating - i'm going to see if I can join, no need to wait for retirement. That looks super fun!
WhiteMaxima
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Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by WhiteMaxima »

life expectancy-retirement age= NW of your personal life
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