Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

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ApeAttack
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Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

I handle most of the family finances and recently I created my "death package," a set of instructions for my DW in case I pass away unexpectedly (got the idea from this forum). The package includes a high-level summary of all our bank accounts, credit cards, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, homeowners and car insurance policies, mortgage info, pension info, etc... as well as login information to various accounts and instructions on what to do during the first couple months after I die (e.g., obtain many copies of my death certificate, notify my workplace, notify the banks, etc.). I also include our current retirement investment plan and provide options to simplify the plan in case she does not want to be hands-on (e.g., move everything to a target date fund).

As I was creating my death package, I found myself getting emotional several times, especially as I was writing notes to my DW about how much she means to me -- I became choked up and my eyes started welling up. I was wondering if others had a similar experience.

On a related matter, is there a definitive thread on this forum that lists all the items that should be in a death package? I think I included the most important stuff, but it's possible I overlooked something.

Edit: Back in 2016, Taylor created a great thread on what to include in a death package.
viewtopic.php?t=198919

Here's another one (thanks csh).
viewtopic.php?t=119346
Last edited by ApeAttack on Sat Jan 16, 2021 9:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Sandtrap »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:23 pm I handle most of the family finances and recently I created my "death package," a set of instructions for my DW in case I pass away unexpectedly (got the idea from this forum). The package includes a high-level summary of all our bank accounts, credit cards, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, homeowners and car insurance policies, mortgage info, pension info, etc... as well as login information to various accounts and instructions on what to do during the first couple months after I die (e.g., obtain many copies of my death certificate, notify my workplace, notify the banks, etc.). I also include our current retirement investment plan and provide options to simplify the plan in case she does not want to be hands-on (e.g., move everything to a target date fund).

As I was creating my death package, I found myself getting emotional several times, especially as I was writing notes to my DW about how much she means to me -- I became choked up and my eyes started welling up. I was wondering if others had a similar experience.

On a related matter, is there a definitive thread on this forum that lists all the items that should be in a death package? I think I included the most important stuff, but it's possible I overlooked something.
Search the forum archives and there will be a lot on this. "Taylor posted a good one", others as well.
Emotions are to be expected, but disassociation is best. Like advising a "client" in their best interest.
It can be a more purposeful if one is not in good health and has a "deadline" and can be substantive and actionable.

Suggest editing your title (use pencil icon) to ask for additional or suggested items in a "death package" so you will have more comprehensive and "useful" input.
Also, change your narrative. . . to a "list".

Actionably: as far as your "death package", suggest dividing it up by categories of action, and within that, levels of priority when the SHF. For example: finances are a category, health directives and related things, then embam or no embam, burial or ashes, service or no service, like that. You can put it in a folder binder with dividers and tabs.

Actionably: depending on your age and stage of life and stage of health, you can do a lot of things now and along the way as you approach your "expiration date" or "use by date", so there's less to do after that by others.

j :D
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by dknightd »

I cry every time I think about it.
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ApeAttack
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Sandtrap wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:33 pm Search the forum archives and there will be a lot on this. "Taylor posted a good one", others as well.
Emotions are to be expected, but disassociation is best. Like advising a "client" in their best interest.
It can be a more purposeful if one is not in good health and has a "deadline" and can be substantive and actionable.

Suggest editing your title (use pencil icon) to ask for additional or suggested items in a "death package" so you will have more comprehensive and "useful" input.
Also, change your narrative. . . to a "list".

Actionably: as far as your "death package", suggest dividing it up by categories of action, and within that, levels of priority when the SHF. For example: finances are a category, health directives and related things, then embam or no embam, burial or ashes, service or no service, like that. You can put it in a folder binder with dividers and tabs.

Actionably: depending on your age and stage of life and stage of health, you can do a lot of things now and along the way as you approach your "expiration date" or "use by date", so there's less to do after that by others.

j :D
Thanks for the suggestions. I think I will leave the title unchanged because my main interest is whether people experienced strong emotions while creating their own package.

My initial search was unsuccessful, but I added "Taylor" to the search and viola...
viewtopic.php?t=198919
Is this the thread you are referring to? Taylor knows everything.

My package is formatted as a list already. It would be way too confusing as a narrative.

I plan on going over the package with my DW once a year and show her how easy it is to handle the retirement accounts. Fortunately, I (hopefully) have a lot of years left to get her ready.
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ApeAttack
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

dknightd wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:45 pm I cry every time I think about it.
I think it has something to do with facing one's inevitable death head-on. Most of the time, we choose to brush aside such thoughts and not confront this reality.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

Actually doing things like that !makes me happy, as I know it makes it easier on my loved ones left behind.

I feel I cheated death in 1999, as did a host of the doctors who put me back together as best as they could.

I don't want to die, but I also appreciate every day I wake up on the green side of the grass.

I have lived to see my daughters graduate from college, launch into great careers, get married, and bear our four wonderful grandchildren.

So, honestly, I do not mourn my inevitable death. Not in any hurry to meet the grim reaper, though.

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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by MathWizard »

No.

Both my wife and I have one.

I do not put anything emotional in there, just straight facts (where to find the money,
insurance, etc.)

Since my wife knows where everything is, these are likely to be used by the kids if we
both go in a car crash.

My idea is that my wife knows how I feel about her. She likes the notes that I put in flowers that
I give her. I don't give flowers on Valentine's day, I give them at random times so that it is a surprise.

Maybe this is unusual, but I don't get emotional about my death, but I would about her death
or one of my kids. Based on family history, I'm pretty sure I'm going first.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Fallible »

An excellent book on preparing such "packages" is Jane Brody's Guide to the Great Beyond: A Practical Primer to Help You and Your Loved Ones Prepare Medically, Legally, and Emotionally for the End of Life. Brody, a longtime "New York Times" health columnist, approaches these inevitably difficult and emotional topics with the tough details needed, but also some good humor.

Also, some forum threads on the subject are helpful, in particular Taylor Larimore's thread as mentioned here by poster Sandtrap.

I've found that a first-time "death package" was the hardest because you're facing some tough realities for the first time, realities that can no longer be denied; after that, as the package is updated, it becomes less emotional, although never quite routine.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

Broken Man 1999 wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:54 pm I don't want to die, but I also appreciate every day I wake up on the green side of the grass.

I have lived to see my daughters graduate from college, launch into great careers, get married, and bear our four wonderful grandchildren.
There was a time when I didn’t think I’d see the younger ones graduate from high school. They’re well past that now and one has launched incredibly.

Given that Tesla is always good for a post on BH, here’s a true story. I was getting cardiac stents placed some years ago, having placed a deposit on a Tesla Model X. Delivery of my X was imminent (inside joke for those who follow Elon Musk). As I lay on the table, I told the earnest young doctor that I didn’t believe in an afterlife, but if I didn’t get up off the table and live long enough to drive my X, I’d find a way to come back and haunt him. I’ve had my X for 5 years now. :D

I have a death letter, but I really should write some additional letters to cover some of the emotional topics for each particular family member.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by dknightd »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:49 pm
dknightd wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:45 pm I cry every time I think about it.
I think it has something to do with facing one's inevitable death head-on. Most of the time, we choose to brush aside such thoughts and not confront this reality.
50/50 she will die before I do. We both have wills. Albeit old ones. The kids know where to access account information.
I'm pretty sure we will all cry
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Stinky »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:23 pm As I was creating my death package, I found myself getting emotional several times, especially as I was writing notes to my DW about how much she means to me -- I became choked up and my eyes started welling up. I was wondering if others had a similar experience.
When I first created such a package, about 20 years ago, it was an emotional experience. For all of the reasons you mention.

I’ve been updating the package every six months or so since that time. (It’s amazing how much things can change in six months). It’s a lot less emotional experience now.

If you haven’t done it, try writing your own obituary. Now THAT’S emotional.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

Stinky wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 4:01 pm
ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:23 pm As I was creating my death package, I found myself getting emotional several times, especially as I was writing notes to my DW about how much she means to me -- I became choked up and my eyes started welling up. I was wondering if others had a similar experience.
When I first created such a package, about 20 years ago, it was an emotional experience. For all of the reasons you mention.

I’ve been updating the package every six months or so since that time. (It’s amazing how much things can change in six months). It’s a lot less emotional experience now.

If you haven’t done it, try writing your own obituary. Now THAT’S emotional.
Yeah, but you get to describe what a fantastic person you are were. :D

The one thing I have not done yet is to write a letter to each DD and grandchild to tell them how proud I am of them.

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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by FIREchief »

I prefer the title "Financial - Estate - End of Life Planning" to anything with the word death (i.e. death book, death package, death guide, etc.).

For a married couple I would suggest considering the following tabs:
• Introduction
• Financial Plan
• Estate Plan
• Incapacitation
• Death of First and Second Spouse
• Trust Administration
• Legacy
• Miscellaneous Information

I will second the recommendations to invite family members to read through it now and mark up a review copy with questions. It can really help to identify areas requiring further information. 8-)
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Broken Man 1999 wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:54 pm Actually doing things like that !makes me happy, as I know it makes it easier on my loved ones left behind.
The process of creating the package definitely has made me more relieved to know I am not leaving behind financial chaos for my loved ones. My mother passed away a couple years ago without leaving clear instructions for how she handled her finances and it took a while to sort things out.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Fallible wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 3:04 pm An excellent book on preparing such "packages" is Jane Brody's Guide to the Great Beyond: A Practical Primer to Help You and Your Loved Ones Prepare Medically, Legally, and Emotionally for the End of Life. Brody, a longtime "New York Times" health columnist, approaches these inevitably difficult and emotional topics with the tough details needed, but also some good humor.
Thanks for the book idea.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Stinky wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 4:01 pm If you haven’t done it, try writing your own obituary. Now THAT’S emotional.
I think if I were to do that, I would want it to be comical. I would write about all of my fictional achievements, such as how I was the three-time national pumpkin pie eating champion (2002, 2006, 2007) and inducted into the pie hall of fame in 2018.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by michaelingp »

I'm usually pretty sentimental, but I don't remember any kind of emotion preparing such a booklet. I was only in my 60's when I first created it, so perhaps I was not emotional because death seemed very far away and abstract. In other words, I was creating the document not because I saw any impending doom, but just because I thought it was something that should be done. Just another chore. On the other hand, I only included financial information, like what to do with an inherited IRA, no mushy notes to my loved ones. Now that I think of it, it is written in a kind of cold fashion, maybe I'll add some mush.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Atilla »

I do not get emotional. Wife asked me questions just the other day for the "Death Binder"

She gets all the money, valuable jewelry and my car.
The Boy gets the guns and tools and my family's heirlooms - nativity sets, some cheap family jewelry, etc. He will have no use for the tools. God knows what he will do with all the guns - but he does like to target shoot.
Best friend gets the motorcycle.
They get to debate amongst themselves over the record collection.
Clothes get tossed/donated.

I have no real wishes for burial. I told her to cremate me and take her best friend to Las Vegas and dump my ashes in lake Bellagio. :beer
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by celia »

We didn't take such a "grave" matter so seriously until we attended a free group lunch sponsored by a cremation company. It was "light-hearted" as well as informative. But to get our lunch started, we each had to decide how we wanted "our steak cooked". Our dessert was "something to die for", especially the "flaming" ones. The whole hour was full of everyday puns like these (with lots of laughs and groans) and we signed up for our plans.

After that we told our kids that all they had to do was call this phone number after we die and joked about what we had done. Around the same time, we had filled out our Five Wishes medical power of attorney forms and sent copies to our kids and told them to save them digitally in a safe place after they understood what our wishes were. We gave copies to our doctors and one, in particular, said he had never seen someone so comfortable talking about death.

The rest of it was like making check lists of things to do. I still have more directions to write up, but we have a good start. At the end of every year, we update the value of our assets, where they are located, and confirm the beneficiaries.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Atilla wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 5:34 pm I have no real wishes for burial. I told her to cremate me and take her best friend to Las Vegas and dump my ashes in lake Bellagio. :beer
They can sprinkle some ashes on a slot machine for good luck too. :moneybag
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

celia wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 5:54 pm After that we told our kids that all they had to do was call this phone number after we die and joked about what we had done.
Having a phone number to call is a great idea. Most people are clueless about what the next step should be after learning a loved one has died suddenly. When my mom passed, I certainly didn't know what to do. Fortunately, my wife had recently dealt with a family member's death and knew a place to call.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by OldBallCoach »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 7:13 pm
Atilla wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 5:34 pm I have no real wishes for burial. I told her to cremate me and take her best friend to Las Vegas and dump my ashes in lake Bellagio. :beer
They can sprinkle some ashes on a slot machine for good luck too. :moneybag
I can tell you for fact that if you try and sprinkle the loved ones asses in the Rose Bowl they WILL call the police on you...they are VERY fussy about that grass in there...sorry Stan we tried...the other 5 stadiums were no problem.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by H-Town »

I can't say that I share the same emotional response as yours. Perhaps something wrong with my brain. I just did it in March 2020 (when all the pandemic stuff happened) without any emotions. I guess we're still young (early 30) to feel it.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by OldBallCoach »

A good friend of mine passed away a few years ago and he had told his wife to just get in touch with their lawyer who had everything all worked out...no worries...well...except the lawyer had passed away a month or so earlier as well...needless to say things were NOT smooth. So in our family we have the BLACK binder of death as we call it. We have everything laid out as to what to do, who to call, who gets what, who as to deal with what, who is in charge and what happens if someone assumes the deal incase of another death, etc..all accounts, passcodes you name it...we were told it should not in print but...we did it in a word doc with a password and sent it to the kids....we labeled the book...What the F, I didnt see that coming...out lawyer has a copy and each child has there own version of it as well. I dont know that we can make things any clearer, but we do update things with our child ( elected by her piers I might add) that is the head honcho of taking care of things if we pass together or whatever...as my wife says if you want to make God laugh tell her you got a plan.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by OldBallCoach »

OldBallCoach wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 7:24 pm
ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 7:13 pm
Atilla wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 5:34 pm I have no real wishes for burial. I told her to cremate me and take her best friend to Las Vegas and dump my ashes in lake Bellagio. :beer
They can sprinkle some ashes on a slot machine for good luck too. :moneybag
I can tell you for fact that if you try and sprinkle the loved ones ashes in the Rose Bowl they WILL call the police on you...they are VERY fussy about that grass in there...sorry Stan we tried...the other 5 stadiums were no problem.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Steelersfan »

Nope. I'm an engineer, and engineers don't get emotional. :D

I update mine every two or three years so it's become pretty routine. I don't need to do it more often because I'm a "stay the course" kind of guy.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Good Listener »

I'm 68. I will die in next 20 years. That's life.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by skipper »

Just finished mine at 50, no emotion here. Since I DIY'd my estate plan, studying state codes and making sure my forms would pass muster and be easy to understand pretty much took all the emotion out of it. For me, it was a fun exercise to get everything in order, setup all my agents, and make sure my family is prepared for a future without me; the show must go on. I'm not going to leave any mush, just cash. FYI, in that thread you linked, LadyGeek linked a couple of threads and a wiki on the subject if you didn't see it.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

skipper wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:19 pm FYI, in that thread you linked, LadyGeek linked a couple of threads and a wiki on the subject if you didn't see it.
Yup I saw them. When I get some free time I will read everything in those threads to make sure I don't miss something really important.

The wealth of knowledge on this forum is truly amazing. I'm glad I stumbled onto BH this past summer. :beer
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Steelersfan wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 8:29 pm Nope. I'm an engineer, and engineers don't get emotional. :D
Not even when the Steelers have a bad playoff game? :twisted:
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

OldBallCoach wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 7:36 pm So in our family we have the BLACK binder of death as we call it.
I'm getting a lot of great ideas for naming the death package.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

OldBallCoach wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 7:24 pm I can tell you for fact that if you try and sprinkle the loved ones asses in the Rose Bowl they WILL call the police on you...they are VERY fussy about that grass in there.
I think you may have a typo there. If it isn't a typo, the Rose Bowl did the right thing.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by nyone »

I’m in the middle of creating my death book. It’s been eye opening how much information I need to compile but hasn’t been emotional. I’m in the middle of my second stint as an executor of an estate of a family member so I know how important this is and am glad I’m doing it. My kids will be moving out of state this year so I plan to meet with them to go over it before they move as my DH is/will be overwhelmed with dealing with finances should I die before him (which is more likely than not).
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by tibbitts »

No emotion here. It's a continuous process: it's amazing how often updates are required.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Pandemic Bangs »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:23 pm
As I was creating my death package, I found myself getting emotional several times, especially as I was writing notes to my DW about how much she means to me -- I became choked up and my eyes started welling up. I was wondering if others had a similar experience.
Sorry to hear that.

Not for me; I started decades before I expect to be "gone" so it was/is not very real yet. Still very abstract. "This is the folder." Nothing personal yet.

I send a similar thing to a relative when spouse and I travel internationally together to dodgy areas -- minus any dollar amounts. Of course I have not had to that for quite a while now. :D
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

Pandemic Bangs wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 2:07 am Sorry to hear that.
It wasn't bad... just unexpected since I should have a few decades before the package might be needed.

Pandemic Bangs wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 2:07 am I send a similar thing to a relative when spouse and I travel internationally together to dodgy areas -- minus any dollar amounts. Of course I have not had to that for quite a while now. :D
Here's hoping you can once again travel to dodgy areas by the end of this year. :beer
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Freetime76 »

To respond to the original question: YES. I had to do it when my spouse wasn’t home, and it’s still incomplete.
There is a reason less than half of people have a will in place, and how many of those are even up-to-date? :shock: I don’t think the reason is laziness alone.

IMO, it is something visceral when thinking of your own death and what is really important to you (family, friends, what have I done in life) - agree that the obit would be a doozy. The periodic updates of finances, accounts, etc are MUCH easier - so hopefully you only have to go through the waterworks once!

The rest of y’all need therapy to discover your feelings (lol).

P.S. We do call it The Death Box ... :sharebeer call a spade a spade.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by jebmke »

After 10+ years of working in TaxAide and assisting dozens of widows and widowers whose spouses left them totally unprepared, I get immense satisfaction as I prepare and refine this kind of package for my spouse. It has also driven me to simplify a number of things after seeing the complexity of it in writing.
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by OldBallCoach »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:37 pm
OldBallCoach wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 7:24 pm I can tell you for fact that if you try and sprinkle the loved ones asses in the Rose Bowl they WILL call the police on you...they are VERY fussy about that grass in there.
I think you may have a typo there. If it isn't a typo, the Rose Bowl did the right thing.
[/quote

LOL you are correct...I did fix below...but given that the Rose Bowl guys would have been all over that...LOL
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Steelersfan
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Steelersfan »

ApeAttack wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:34 pm
Steelersfan wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 8:29 pm Nope. I'm an engineer, and engineers don't get emotional. :D
Not even when the Steelers have a bad playoff game? :twisted:
That's low, man. :D

I'm not much of a Steelers fan. Maybe I should change my name. :?:

I turned the game off at halftime.
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WoodSpinner
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by WoodSpinner »

OP,

Absolutely emotional but it still needs to be done!

I found NOLO Willmakers form for “Information for Caregivers and Survivors” an amazing way to think and Organize the book. After several years of maintenance, I have shifted some of the strategy to point to key documents (e.g. 1Password, Quicken, Retirement Policy Statement) so I don’t have to continually update the Death Book.

Quick story ....

I am a widower (since remarried) and my first wife passed after a month in the ICU after complications inserting stints to correct a heart problem. You spend an amazing amount of time in the waiting rooms while trying to visit and care for your loved one. Met a young woman with several kids whose husband had collapsed at work (aneurism) and all of a sudden she was juggling kids, visiting him, finances and still trying to work (uncaring employer, no time-off etc.). Gradually learned that she had ZERO idea where their money was! None and now she was broke waiting on her pay check, hoping to buy some food for her kids. He had been the “finance” guy and the marriage and now she was suddenly in-charge. The waiting room was like being adrift in a life raft out at sea, hoping for rescue, surrounded by strangers who you now depended on to help you just hold it together. Fortunately I was able to help her financially get food on the table and with some day care.

Her husband recovered but my wife did not.

It’s a lesson and situation that I will never forget! Made me realize how “lucky” I was to be financially stable, given paid time off from work (thank you Mega-Corp), and mainly dealing with the 90m commute each way back and forth from the hospital. Also made me realize, how important the “death book” and keeping your spouse informed and aware (even if they didn’t want to deal with it) of your finances and desires.

My current wife and daughter think I am a bit nuts and morbid but they humor me and sit down to review key steps and the latest changes. I make sure the Deathbook is regularly updated and stored in multiple places so they will always be able to access it and the key documents.

WoodSpinner
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KneePartsPro
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by KneePartsPro »

Broken Man 1999 wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:54 pm Actually doing things like that !makes me happy, as I know it makes it easier on my loved ones left behind.

I feel I cheated death in 1999, as did a host of the doctors who put me back together as best as they could.

I don't want to die, but I also appreciate every day I wake up on the green side of the grass.

I have lived to see my daughters graduate from college, launch into great careers, get married, and bear our four wonderful grandchildren.

So, honestly, I do not mourn my inevitable death. Not in any hurry to meet the grim reaper, though.

Broken Man 1999
Broken Man 1999,

Cheers to "bonus years"!
:sharebeer

Knee Parts Pro
I can tell you almost anything about artificial knees used in knee replacement, and almost nothing about investing.
ponyboy
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ponyboy »

My FIL is too dumb to put a package like this together, or a will, or a trust. Wife is an only child so he says she will just get everything anyway. Its going to be a disaster when him and MIL die.
golf101
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by golf101 »

This may also be a good starting point for binders. I got 95% of this filled out this week for DH. I also shared with my mom and asked her to fill out. And will be doing the same for my in laws.

https://cameronhuddleston.com/download/75254/
SchruteB&B
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by SchruteB&B »

Broken Man 1999 wrote: Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:54 pm Actually doing things like that !makes me happy, as I know it makes it easier on my loved ones left behind.

Me too. I would read articles about how people wouldn’t buy life insurance or make a will or pick a guardian for their children because they couldn’t face death and I really never understood that. I felt immense satisfaction in knowing that all of those things were done so as to not make a horrible situation worse. I also don’t plan on writing final letters or anything; I try to tell the people I love them in the here and now.
tibbitts
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by tibbitts »

ponyboy wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:46 am My FIL is too dumb to put a package like this together, or a will, or a trust. Wife is an only child so he says she will just get everything anyway. Its going to be a disaster when him and MIL die.
Your wife can disclaim any interest and not get involved. I'm not a lawyer so I don't know if it's possible to do disclaim prior to death, but your FIL probably doesn't know either, so it would be interesting to write up a legal-appearing disclaimer document and see how he reacts when you show it to him.
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skipper
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by skipper »

golf101 wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 11:47 am This may also be a good starting point for binders. I got 95% of this filled out this week for DH. I also shared with my mom and asked her to fill out. And will be doing the same for my in laws.

https://cameronhuddleston.com/download/75254/
This is a great looking form. I already have my "inventory" done in Word, but I'm going to repeat using this to see if I've missed anything. Thanks for posting! :beer
"Reasons not to hold cash are fed money printer go brrrrrr..." -UnitaryExecutive
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ApeAttack
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

WoodSpinner wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:12 am My current wife and daughter think I am a bit nuts and morbid but they humor me and sit down to review key steps and the latest changes. I make sure the Deathbook is regularly updated and stored in multiple places so they will always be able to access it and the key documents.
They will be grateful for your efforts if your deathbook is ever needed.
Just another lazy index investor.
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ApeAttack
Posts: 37
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by ApeAttack »

skipper wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:10 pm
golf101 wrote: Thu Jan 14, 2021 11:47 am This may also be a good starting point for binders. I got 95% of this filled out this week for DH. I also shared with my mom and asked her to fill out. And will be doing the same for my in laws.

https://cameronhuddleston.com/download/75254/
This is a great looking form. I already have my "inventory" done in Word, but I'm going to repeat using this to see if I've missed anything. Thanks for posting! :beer
+1

I'm getting a lot of great ideas from this thread.
Just another lazy index investor.
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Elsebet
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Re: Anyone else get emotional while creating their death package?

Post by Elsebet »

I don't get emotional about my own death. I do worry about my husband's ability to manage everything that I do if I should die first.
"...the man who adapts himself to his slender means and makes himself wealthy on a little sum, is the truly rich man..." ~Seneca
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