Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

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OnTrack2020
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Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by OnTrack2020 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:07 pm

Three of our kids, high school and college-aged, have had hours drastically reduced or are basically out of work.

Am trying to be supportive, as well as will need to basically supply them with $$$.

Is there a fair way to go about this? I'm thinking not. Suggestions as to how best to financially get them through the rest of the school year. I'm thinking one may need gas cards and grocery cards, as well as we will have to pay utilities/cable.

One has a fairly good cash cushion and is working limited hours.
Another has a mid-size to small cash cushion, but job has disappeared. Don't know if it will return.
The next has under $50, and probably will not be able to work for a few weeks to who knows how long.

They are all graduating in May, although at this point, I'm not even sure there will be any ceremonies.

HomeStretch
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by HomeStretch » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:05 pm

Sounds like your dependents need temporary assistance until they are safe to resume their jobs. Isn’t it just a matter of figuring out how much they need for necessities even if the support amount varies by dependent? Likely their personal expenses won’t be too high during the assistance period given recommendations to socially distance and stay home.

halfnine
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by halfnine » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:17 pm

In general terms I don't plan on giving my adult children much of anything. However, I do plan on insuring their risks if they happen to show up. This would be one of those times.

bloom2708
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by bloom2708 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:18 pm

What are their expenses? Especially the high school kids?

Shouldn't their expenses be much lower? Not driving. Not eating out. Not hanging with friends. Etc.

We have a college kid at home with the other 2 kids. Their expenses are minimal. The college kid is still paying for her rent/utilities, but that is coming out of her college funds we saved for the expense.

On Sunday we filed the college kids taxes for 2019. She got a $300 refund. So she is making money! Sort of.
Last edited by bloom2708 on Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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MathWizard
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by MathWizard » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:20 pm

I assume all are taking classes online like the rest of the US.

If they are staying with you, then food should be taken care of.
rent may be due, since many college students have rent to pay.

If any were in the dorm, I would contact the college and see about getting some of
the dorm rent refunded. Might not happen, but you could try. Colleges essentially
evicted students from dorms. They had good reasons, but I don't see how the college should
get to keep the money for the rent. Surely no landlord could do this for something
outside the renter's control. If they say its a lease, they broke it, not the student.

If I were in your situation, and assuming a sound financial situation, if they need money,
I would supply them with some for the duration. Call it unemployment insurance.
This is hardly their fault. That is what I would do, you know your children.

Remember that these are the people who will be deciding how best to help you when you
are in need of help. You can take a tough love approach, but expect the same in return.
I've told my kids that my wife and I will not need financial help, but we may need other help.
We demonstrated what we would expect to them with our actions with our parents.

oldfort
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by oldfort » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:16 pm

What expenses does a high school kid have?

livesoft
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by livesoft » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:22 pm

My son came home from college when it closed. He is back to doing chores: Lawn work, grocery shopping for us, cooking food for us, power washing the lawn furniture, patio, and driveway. performing software updates on my spouse's laptop, listening to dad rant about things. You know, the usual stuff kids do for their parents. He's not costing us any more money than usual.
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:06 pm

Both my sons are in college, are at home and have had all classes switched to 100% online. Son #1 starts tomorrow and class participation is an important part of his grade. All students will be online during class with a web cam to be able to participate. Son #2 has some labs. I'm thinking that perhaps a lab tech will perform the procedures, allowing students to observe and record results and then write lab reports.

WRT financial support, I'm 100% supporting both of them anyways. Son #1 has a job for post graduation starting in 2 months. There likely won't be any ceremony. Saves him a couple hundred dollars in graduation fees, which he's fine with.
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stoptothink
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by stoptothink » Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:11 pm

bloom2708 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:18 pm
What are their expenses? Especially the high school kids?

Shouldn't their expenses be much lower? Not driving. Not eating out. Not hanging with friends. Etc.

We have a college kid at home with the other 2 kids. Their expenses are minimal. The college kid is still paying for her rent/utilities, but that is coming out of her college funds we saved for the expense.

On Sunday we filed the college kids taxes for 2019. She got a $300 refund. So she is making money! Sort of.
+1. Pretty much all activities should be cancelled (ie. sports) and they shouldn't be spending money socializing ATM, so (unless they are stuck paying rent/utilities while their school is closed) the need for this money is?

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Brianmcg321
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by Brianmcg321 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:18 pm

For college kids, I would send them each $50 a week. That would give them plenty of spending money.
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OnTrack2020
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by OnTrack2020 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:51 pm

stoptothink wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:11 pm
bloom2708 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:18 pm
What are their expenses? Especially the high school kids?

Shouldn't their expenses be much lower? Not driving. Not eating out. Not hanging with friends. Etc.

We have a college kid at home with the other 2 kids. Their expenses are minimal. The college kid is still paying for her rent/utilities, but that is coming out of her college funds we saved for the expense.

On Sunday we filed the college kids taxes for 2019. She got a $300 refund. So she is making money! Sort of.
+1. Pretty much all activities should be cancelled (ie. sports) and they shouldn't be spending money socializing ATM, so (unless they are stuck paying rent/utilities while their school is closed) the need for this money is?
With the college-aged student, it would be to make up for lost income/no hours in order to pay rent, utilities, internet, food, gas, etc. Lives in an apartment with roommates. I don't know at this point if landlord will allow for extension of payment of rent.

With high school kid, they still have some, not a lot, but some very basic expenses--personal products, hair cuts, shampoo, deodorant, etc.. I'm not sure I get where people think all eating out should stop. :annoyed If one expects businesses to survive in smaller communities, then you need to continue to support those businesses.

Big Worm
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by Big Worm » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:53 pm

Brianmcg321 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:18 pm
For college kids, I would send them each $50 a week. That would give them plenty of spending money.
For a night at the bar!

gr7070
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by gr7070 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:55 pm

Big Worm wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:53 pm
Brianmcg321 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:18 pm
For college kids, I would send them each $50 a week. That would give them plenty of spending money.
For a night at the bar!
Once it reopens!

HomeStretch
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by HomeStretch » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:06 pm

OnTrack2020 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:51 pm
I'm not sure I get where people think all eating out should stop. :annoyed If one expects businesses to survive in smaller communities, then you need to continue to support those businesses.
Alternatively, it’s a good lesson to learn early in life to cut expenses when income is disrupted.

gr7070
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by gr7070 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:14 pm

I sincerely don't understand the issue.

You simply need to come to some determination of how much support you want to provide.

Personally it's very easy for me.

Pre-college graduation it's obvious (for my values); I'm the sole provider (plus whatever it's determined the child should add). Post-college graduation it's likely some graduating scale including how long ago they graduated and what their financial situation *appropriately* includes.

All of this depends upon how you view parental responsibilities. A close childhood friend of mine was responsible for an incredible amount of his financial "needs" growing up. Both of us turned out fine financially and maturity-wise.

Barring enabling them I'm helping my child however determined.

As great as this community is I don't need Boglehead's input on this one-it's very well defined for me.

jjface
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by jjface » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:25 pm

Seriously do whatever you feel. Everyone will have different opinions but they are your kids. It is an unusual situation beyond their control. But that is life.
Last edited by jjface on Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

gr7070
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by gr7070 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:30 pm

jjface wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:25 pm
Seriously do whatever you feel. Everyone will have different opinions but they are your kids.
A much better version of my post above.

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celia
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by celia » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:55 pm

OnTrack2020 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:51 pm
With high school kid, they still have some, not a lot, but some very basic expenses--personal products, hair cuts, shampoo, deodorant, etc..
Hair salons and barber shops should be closed as they are not essential. (Around here they are.) Without sports available, one doesn’t need shampoo and deodorant as much. Besides, how much does that really cost?
I'm not sure I get where people think all eating out should stop. :annoyed
Yes, unless you are abusing the shelter-in-place rules, one shouldn't be eating out and especially hanging out with friends. Aren’t you modeling that for your family? Eating out is not an essential, either. It is just increasing the chance for the virus to spread. And you never know who is a carrier (without symptoms).
If one expects businesses to survive in smaller communities, then you need to continue to support those businesses.
If one expects PEOPLE to survive in smaller communities, then you need to support the shelter-in-place rules. Small communities with limited medical services are particularly vulnerable, since their medical Services can easily become overloaded! Then what will you do?

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OnTrack2020
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by OnTrack2020 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:12 pm

celia wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:55 pm
OnTrack2020 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:51 pm
With high school kid, they still have some, not a lot, but some very basic expenses--personal products, hair cuts, shampoo, deodorant, etc..
Hair salons and barber shops should be closed as they are not essential. (Around here they are.) Without sports available, one doesn’t need shampoo and deodorant as much. Besides, how much does that really cost?
I'm not sure I get where people think all eating out should stop. :annoyed
Yes, unless you are abusing the shelter-in-place rules, one shouldn't be eating out and especially hanging out with friends. Aren’t you modeling that for your family? Eating out is not an essential, either. It is just increasing the chance for the virus to spread. And you never know who is a carrier (without symptoms).
If one expects businesses to survive in smaller communities, then you need to continue to support those businesses.
If one expects PEOPLE to survive in smaller communities, then you need to support the shelter-in-place rules. Small communities with limited medical services are particularly vulnerable, since their medical Services can easily become overloaded! Then what will you do?
At the current time, not every state is "stay at home." There are still restaurant drive-thrus and deliveries that are available.

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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by oldfort » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:29 pm

OnTrack2020 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:51 pm
With high school kid, they still have some, not a lot, but some very basic expenses--personal products, hair cuts, shampoo, deodorant, etc.. I'm not sure I get where people think all eating out should stop. :annoyed If one expects businesses to survive in smaller communities, then you need to continue to support those businesses.
Haircuts shouldn't be happening. That's non-essential. Making a high school kid pay for their own shampoo, deodorant, personal products, is that code for tampons or pads, seems strange even if we weren't in the middle of a global pandemic.

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OnTrack2020
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by OnTrack2020 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:53 pm

oldfort wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:29 pm
OnTrack2020 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:51 pm
With high school kid, they still have some, not a lot, but some very basic expenses--personal products, hair cuts, shampoo, deodorant, etc.. I'm not sure I get where people think all eating out should stop. :annoyed If one expects businesses to survive in smaller communities, then you need to continue to support those businesses.
Haircuts shouldn't be happening. That's non-essential. Making a high school kid pay for their own shampoo, deodorant, personal products, is that code for tampons or pads, seems strange even if we weren't in the middle of a global pandemic.
There's really nothing strange about it. Once a teen gets to a certain age and is making their own money, they want to do their own shopping with their own money.

I was simply looking for what is fair based upon their current job loss/reduction in hours and their current savings situation.

Moderator, can you please lock this thread? It has gotten somewhat off-topic.

finite_difference
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by finite_difference » Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:30 pm

livesoft wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:22 pm
My son came home from college when it closed. He is back to doing chores: Lawn work, grocery shopping for us, cooking food for us, power washing the lawn furniture, patio, and driveway. performing software updates on my spouse's laptop, listening to dad rant about things. You know, the usual stuff kids do for their parents. He's not costing us any more money than usual.
Yeah just normal chores like grocery shopping during a pandemic :twisted: Well, good story to tell his kids if they ever complain about chores.

Also, don’t forget the mandatory volunteer foot massages and scrubbing the toilet clean with a toothbrush. Preferably in that order.
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. - Thich Nhat Hanh

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celia
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by celia » Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:36 pm

OP, just think of another perspective for a minute. What would your family do if you (and your spouse, if applicable) both lost your jobs? What would your family do differently? I’m sure everyone would first help cut the family expenses...

As a example, one year DH and I were both laid off at about the same time in different industries (from professional level jobs). Our kids were in elementary back then and even they understood we could not keep spending the same. They stopped asking for ’wants’ and accepted the new normal. We found several ways to do things ourselves instead of paying someone. They learned from it and are frugal adults now because we were all in it together.

That’s how we supported them and they supported us.

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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by willthrill81 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:07 pm

If they have a car, they can deliver pizzas. Tens of thousands of people are being hired to just exactly that as we speak.
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by finite_difference » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:19 pm

willthrill81 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:07 pm
If they have a car, they can deliver pizzas. Tens of thousands of people are being hired to just exactly that as we speak.
Not without taking some risk though..
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. - Thich Nhat Hanh

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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by willthrill81 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:32 pm

finite_difference wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:19 pm
willthrill81 wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:07 pm
If they have a car, they can deliver pizzas. Tens of thousands of people are being hired to just exactly that as we speak.
Not without taking some risk though..
Certainly. I'm not sure how many teens can do telework though.
“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” J.R.R. Tolkien,The Lord of the Rings

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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by RetiredAL » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:17 am

OnTrack -

I think most branches of the Bank of Dad are open 24 x 7 x 365!

politely
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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by politely » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:41 am

Sounds like they're all still dependents. I would provide all the necessities, like housing, food and clothing, and to the extent I'm able, provide a reasonable allowance. One could argue about any allowance beyond the necessities, but I would say it will save a lot of wear and tear on the relationship. You can demand approval for all of their expenses down to the penny, but frankly, not only is that a lot of work but, in my view, it's also not worth the fighting that'll ensue when you say no.

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Re: Support for Teens/College Kids Who've Had Hours Cut

Post by LadyGeek » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:16 am

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