Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

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chenzi
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Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by chenzi » Sun Nov 17, 2019 11:49 am

I have around 15 years of work experience in technology and I am around mid 30s. First couple of years when I started, I slacked off in work then got motivated to do well (family/girlfriend), worked hard, consistently “exceeded expectations” at work. My career has also grown reasonably well - from $60k compensation in 2006 to $550k now, I am an engineering leader in a large firm. I have also worked in Asia, then in US, moved back to Asia and moved back to US again.
I just do not have a desire to consistently exceed others expectations any more. I changed jobs a yearish back and now I take care of all the work in 25-30/hrs every week. I just chill out playing with my kids or watch a movie.
Whatever I do, looks like my work “leadership” team are satisfied with that. I know I can do a lot more in if I want to but I just don’t have the desire to. I am not slacking but I don’t want to work too hard anymore.
My spouse is passionate about her work still though - good to always have that backup.
I do feel that my bringing up / “asian” culture of constantly pushing to exceed from childhood has left me so tired professionally. Wondering how to recuperate from this. We have saved around $2m (excludes house equity) and are saving around $400-450k/ year on our increased household income. I do feel that if I am able to survive for next 4-5 years at work, I should be able to FIRE assuming my spouse still works.
I don’t know how to get myself motivated, any recommendations would help.

sd323232
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by sd323232 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 11:57 am

My friend, i know how you feel. I make way less and i had same question as you. I decide to grind it out the next 5 years. Do not give up. You are way ahead of me, making way more. In 5 years you will never have to work for anyone else. You just need someone to tell you, grind it out the next 5 years and hang it up. You good where you at, keep doing it. 5 years will go by so fast, you will not notice.

arsenalfan
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by arsenalfan » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:05 pm

Totally same boat and empathize!
Sounds like work is sustainable for you? That's awesome if it is - I have to switch jobs to get a slower pace. Was working like 1.2 FTE for first 5 years, then 1 FTE past 5, am now 0.5-0.7 FTE and sustainable for next 10-20 years (if needed after 10 years). Turn vocation into avocation.
Once that's achieved, then Chill and have fun.
Find something else that stimulates you - it may or not make money, who cares, so long as it fits your budget.
Some ideas: golf, hiking, TIME with family/friends on trips, "self-care" personal trainers/fitness/massages/yoga, etc etc. Take some lessons at something you're totally new at (stand-up, singing, instrument, studio art, languages, etc). Good for the kids to see you learning/making mistakes.
Last edited by arsenalfan on Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oreamnos
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by Oreamnos » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:16 pm

If you're making that income with those kinds of work hours and your management is happy, then I'd definitely kick back a bit and enjoy the time with the kids for a while. If you feel the urge, you can always crank it back up later when the kids are a bit older.

But what I really want to know, as another fairly high-level engineering leader in a large organization, is "how do I get my income to $550K"? That is a rather atypically high number for someone in their 30s. Nicely done.

themuse
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by themuse » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:29 pm

Get yourself motivated so as to be able to exceed expectations again at work?

Or get yourself motivated to go to work as is, and maintain your current lifestyle?

Or motivation in terms of what to do next in general?

I'm not sure what you are specifically asking.
--themuse-- | | Investing should be boring

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ClevrChico
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by ClevrChico » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:33 pm

I'm curious, how many hours in a week is required to exceed expectations?

I've hit that rating a few times, but ratings for me have always been based on a quota. It's very hard to hit regularly when on a strong team and management tries to fairly share the good ratings by alternating them.

Ob81
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by Ob81 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:36 pm

Op, you have simply been using success at studies/work as a measure of your self-worth. What you are experiencing is a mixture of burnout and an identity crisis. You have already made adjustments to have more free time. I second the suggestions to start a hobby that is only about you, and what you want to do.

I would also recommend that you start mentoring others as well. That is always fulfilling.

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JoeRetire
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by JoeRetire » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:58 pm

chenzi wrote:
Sun Nov 17, 2019 11:49 am
I just do not have a desire to consistently exceed others expectations any more. I changed jobs a yearish back and now I take care of all the work in 25-30/hrs every week. I just chill out playing with my kids or watch a movie.

I do feel that my bringing up / “asian” culture of constantly pushing to exceed from childhood has left me so tired professionally.

I don’t know how to get myself motivated, any recommendations would help.
I always find it sad when folks aren't self-motivated, particularly at such a young age.

Other than hoping you mature as you age, I don't have any specific recommendations. If looking at your kids and thinking if you should do your best for them doesn't work, I don't know what will.
Don't be a lemming.

koch711
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by koch711 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:11 pm

In the same boat as the poster, and when you ground out 50-70hr weeks for 10-15 yrs, it's easy to get that way. Simply burnout.

Nowizard
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by Nowizard » Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:24 pm

There is a significant difference between a change of motivation in one area of life and a change in all areas. One is more suggestive of a conscious or latent desire to do other things, the other may reflect underlying issues. Is your definition of "chilling out" resulting in staying on the couch and doing nothing or more playing with your children and doing other things? If it is the latter, you may be feeling that you know you want to do things differently but having always "exceeded," you have very little experience with options other than pushing ahead. Your financial situation is exceptionally positive for someone your age, and you do have options. One of them is to deal with present anxiety or guilt about wanting to make changes while taking the time to discover what they are. You mentioned that your spouse is "still" pushing ahead. Hopefully, your spouse supports the thoughts you are having.

Tim

regularguy455
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by regularguy455 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:45 pm

This was discussed extensively in this thread: viewtopic.php?t=279550

Probably one of my favorite posts here.

Xrayman69
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by Xrayman69 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 2:38 pm

Perhaps working with a “coach” as a means to objectively look at your needs. I would do this self funded as opposed through your employer. Professional coaches can work with you personally and you own the relationship as opposed to the employer.

Although you don’t sound like the strict definition of burnout you seem to describe aspects of burnout.

Professional coaches can run the gamut of costs based upon experience and depth and frequency. Interview a few coaches with experience working with professionals, get recommendations , speak with others who have worked with potential coaches. 10K for a 6 -12 month stint is not unreasonable considering that this is an investment in yourself, your career, and your family life.

10k based upon your salary and means is a good investment.

I regularly work with a professional coach and have supported members of our leadership teams who want, need, or I see greater potential if they were able to tap their greater potential. Our team culture requires work life balance and the coaching that we have contracted fully incorporate the values of our organizational team. I am open with my team that if they don’t desire to work with a coach that it’s no problem. The ones that have seem to be much more engaged at work and satisfied with their work life balance after Identifying strategies and common language with their peers.

The 20-30K that I have invested personally (after my organization invested probably the same) over the span of my 15-20 year career has paid off multi fold in past and future income potential.

You are a smart individual who clearly has been able to distinguish yourself. It’s not a weakness to find yourself looking for objective feedback. Your posting here indicates that you are open to feedback. Although this forum is great, it’s worth exactly what you paid for the replies including mine.

Dive deeper into your ultimate needs, wants, and make sure they match with your familial needs and wants.

bluquark
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by bluquark » Sun Nov 17, 2019 2:57 pm

One term for what you're experiencing is "success hangover". Here's a self-help book on how to get out of it: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07JLBR1JJ

J295
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by J295 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:04 pm

If this were me… and it has been at different times… I would be asking slightly different questions… Like…

1. Why am I not motivated for X?
2. Would I be true to myself and demonstrate virtue if I overcame this lack of motivation and did X, or does greater truth and virtue exist if I change my relationship with X?

My family and friends have heard it from me before… You can’t follow your own path if you’re on the road to another person’s city.

YMMV. Best of luck

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F150HD
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by F150HD » Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:07 pm

OP- doesn't sound like your work is very emotionally fulfilling for you.

dru808
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by dru808 » Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:10 pm

Bro, you’ve made it.

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LadyGeek
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Re: Lack of motivation to “exceed” goals.

Post by LadyGeek » Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:25 pm

This thread has run its course and is locked (not a financial nor a consumer issue). See: Acceptable Topics and Subforum Guidelines
This is an investing and personal finance forum. We also maintain a subforum that allow our members to discuss consumer goods and services and recreational activities. Anything else is considered "Off Topic" and is not acceptable on this forum.
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