divorce, splitting assets?

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Tristar500
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Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2016 11:07 am

divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Tristar500 » Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:51 pm

My wife and I are in North Carolina. Got married in NC and now about to divorce in NC.

We have been legally separated for three years. I retained an attorney right after we split and she guided me through the Free Trade process to I could purchase a home without the risk of loosing it in the impending divorce.

My wife has been secretive about the finances and keeps telling me there is no money.

I know she has a 401K, retirement and perhaps other assets.

Is there an easy way for me to find out how much money she has in those accounts and how much we owe the bank on the remainder of the mortgage?

I'm trying to get some idea of what a settlement might look like when it's all said and done without getting my attorney involved in every little step along the way. I'm just looking for a ballpark estimate.


Thanks in Advance!

Makefile
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Makefile » Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:55 pm

If you're a co-signer on the mortgage, can't you just call the bank and ask if it isn't already visible in online banking?

As to the other accounts, if she is uncooperative the next step is "discovery" in the divorce case for both sides to request documents from the other.

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celia
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by celia » Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:56 pm

A divorce attorney would know what the legal ways are to get the info you request.

Topic Author
Tristar500
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Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2016 11:07 am

Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Tristar500 » Fri Nov 08, 2019 10:10 pm

Makefile wrote:
Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:55 pm
If you're a co-signer on the mortgage, can't you just call the bank and ask if it isn't already visible in online banking?

As to the other accounts, if she is uncooperative the next step is "discovery" in the divorce case for both sides to request documents from the other.
I don't have access to her online banking. I'm not even sure which bank holds the mortgage.

Makefile
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Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:03 pm

Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Makefile » Fri Nov 08, 2019 10:13 pm

Your online banking--you're on the mortgage too, right?

You could pull your credit report on annualcreditreport.com and find the mortgage on there.

BuddyJet
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by BuddyJet » Fri Nov 08, 2019 10:55 pm

In my divorce, my ex’s lawyer insisted on a clause that any undisclosed assets, would be automatically awarded to the other side. Even post divorce.

As to steps along the way, both our lawyers had both of us prepare complete balance sheets of separate and community property (don't know if community applies to NC). We also jointly prepared a valuation of household furnishings with values.

After preparing this, the penalties for hiding things were in effect.

MikeG62
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by MikeG62 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 10:11 am

Tristar500 wrote:
Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:51 pm


...Is there an easy way for me to find out how much money she has in those accounts...?
IANAL and thankfully have never been through a divorce myself. However, my sister-in-law has been (long drawn out multi-year process which completed this summer) and in doing some research for her on exactly this question my recollection was that getting this information through typical means (credit report searching, etc...) was difficult at best. The best ways to get it would be to do as BuddyJet suggested. In addition, what I did was a forensic audit of sorts for my SIL, which included a details review of all past joint tax returns (looking specifically at schedules B and D - old forms) as well as a review of her ex's bank accounts (to follow the flow of funds from his paycheck to their ultimate landing spot). Getting his bank account details required her lawyer to request it in divorce court (under threat of a subpoena).

Good luck.
Real Knowledge Comes Only From Experience

dru808
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by dru808 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 2:22 pm

No idea, but I feel for you, I can’t imagine going through this, where both sides aren’t being open and honest. Good luck

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dm200
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by dm200 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:29 pm

Is there an easy way for me to find out how much money she has in those accounts and how much we owe the bank on the remainder of the mortgage?
Seems to me that is what you are paying your divorce attorney to find out - and use for your benefit.

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Watty
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Watty » Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:46 pm

One possibility is that she has a lawyer that has told her not to give you any information since that could cause problems. If I had been separated for three years I would probably not give my soon to be ex spouse any information either without clearing it through my lawyer.

Even if you found out more information it sort of "is what it is" so it would be good to go on and get the paperwork rolling to get through the divorce to make a clean break if there is no chance of you getting back together.

I would not be so much worried about assets but about any debt that she may have gotten into that you might get stuck with. The longer things go on the longer there is for any debt to become a problem.

I would also be concerned about what might happen if something happened like she was disabled or ran up $100K in medical bills while you are still legally married.

It you are not going to get back together then you should probably talk with your lawyer about progressing with the divorce.

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Wiggums
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Wiggums » Sat Nov 09, 2019 4:49 pm

It’s unfortunate when two adults can’t cooperate with each other. I guess that’s why you’re getting divorced. I’m sorry that you are going through this. The sooner you can finalize the divorce the better. Move on and don’t look back. Don’t worry about every penny, even though you deserve half.

All suggestions seem reasonable to me, but I would ask your lawyer how quickly you can complete the divorce. As long as you are legally married, you are on the hook too. For example, lawsuit, fatality in traffic accident, medical bills, etc. anything can happen.

My friend is a lawyer and his ex was very, very difficult with him and their children. No cooperation. She would tell him to Talk her lawyer, etc. She lied on a mortgage application through her employer. My friend pushed for a speedy divorce. asked the judge if he could complete the divorce and handle possible litigation of a fraudulent mortgage as a separate issue. Good thing that the divorce was completed. His ex lost her job for the fraudulent loan application and he is not on the hook for her new legal trouble.

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SquawkIdent
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by SquawkIdent » Sat Nov 09, 2019 4:57 pm

Wiggums wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 4:49 pm
It’s unfortunate when two adults can’t cooperate with each other. I guess that’s why you’re getting divorced. I’m sorry that you are going through this. The sooner you can finalize the divorce the better. Move on and don’t look back. Don’t worry about every penny, even though you deserve half.

All suggestions seem reasonable to me, but I would ask your lawyer how quickly you can complete the divorce. As long as you are legally married, you are on the hook too. For example, lawsuit, fatality in traffic accident, medical bills, etc. anything can happen.

My friend is a lawyer and his ex was very, very difficult with him and their children. No cooperation. She would tell him to Talk her lawyer, etc. She lied on a mortgage application through her employer. My friend pushed for a speedy divorce. asked the judge if he could complete the divorce and handle possible litigation of a fraudulent mortgage as a separate issue. Good thing that the divorce was completed. His ex lost her job for the fraudulent loan application and he is not on the hook for her new legal trouble.
+1

Startingover2019
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Startingover2019 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 6:28 pm

I would venture to say that many if not most divorce lawyers have minimal ethics and don’t have your best interests at heart. They care about how much they can bill you especially if they know you make a good living. They lie, lie, lie and sleep very comfortably at night.

That being said, if your ex is secretive and deceitful you’re probably going to have to go through the discovery process. However know that the discovery process is expensive, and the other side can still lie.

I would be more concerned about the debt that she may have you in, versus any assets you’re trying to get from her. Why are you trying to get assets? That’s another question. Will you stay at home dad? did you put her through school? Support her financially through some part of her life?

Which ever way this ends up, just know that divorce court court often times does not provide justice especially to the higher income or more honest spouse.

I find the whole system of divorce to be about who can get away with the most amount of lies. Without being found out.

Typically works out best for two mature, non-deceitful reasonable, adults who can settle things with minimal lawyer involvement.

But in some states, there’s the whole “at fault” divorce which could work to one’s advantage. As well as lack of alimony in some states unless the marriage is long.

Trader Joe
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Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Trader Joe » Sat Nov 09, 2019 6:45 pm

Tristar500 wrote:
Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:51 pm
My wife and I are in North Carolina. Got married in NC and now about to divorce in NC.

We have been legally separated for three years. I retained an attorney right after we split and she guided me through the Free Trade process to I could purchase a home without the risk of loosing it in the impending divorce.

My wife has been secretive about the finances and keeps telling me there is no money.

I know she has a 401K, retirement and perhaps other assets.

Is there an easy way for me to find out how much money she has in those accounts and how much we owe the bank on the remainder of the mortgage?

I'm trying to get some idea of what a settlement might look like when it's all said and done without getting my attorney involved in every little step along the way. I'm just looking for a ballpark estimate.


Thanks in Advance!
Check with your mortgage holder on your remaining balance.

Startingover2019
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2019 7:24 pm

Re: divorce, splitting assets?

Post by Startingover2019 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 9:59 pm

OP, just read your post again. You are just talking of settlement not necessarily looking for assets.
Good luck.

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