Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
renue74
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by renue74 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:21 pm

bhsince87 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:05 pm
renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm
I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.

I assume you know how his life ended.
Yes. I left out the bad stuff.

bhsince87
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by bhsince87 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:39 pm

renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:21 pm
bhsince87 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:05 pm
renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm
I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.

I assume you know how his life ended.
Yes. I left out the bad stuff.
I think that fact is kind of important in the big picture of "a life well lived".

But I understand, YMMV.
Retirement: When you reach a point where you have enough. Or when you've had enough.

Afty
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Afty » Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:46 pm

Consider committing to not working for a few months, to see if you get used to it or you still miss working. At that point you can decide whether to take that contractor position. You might find yourself settled into retirement with plenty of activities to keep you busy.

renue74
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by renue74 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:47 pm

I'm 45 and plan to retire early-ish....maybe early 50s. So I'm not in the same situation as you.

But, I have 2 kids in high school who are getting ready to move onto college. My mantra is "you'll find your tribe," whatever that may be in college. If you like playing dominos, you'll find a group. If you like intramural flag football, you'll find a group. If you like discussing circuit board space management, you'll find your group.

I hope that in my retirement years that I find my tribe.

Right now, I have rental houses and enjoy rehabbing property on the weekends. I often say every rehab guy needs a "Robin," as in Batman and Robin. I have a few helpers who I will hire when I need a 2 man crew to do work. It's good to have somebody to talk to as well as help lift heavy objects.

You need a contact, friend, or buddy who is in the same situation as you and you'll find time goes by nicely.

rimfire
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by rimfire » Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:00 am

Just look at retirement as another phase of your life.

Forgetting probably the most influential first 7 years of your life. You then went to school then to junior high and then to high school then to University(maybe) then a job or job's, kid's and family, then retirement. You effectively won the womb lottery being born in a developed country that largely has the rule of law.
Retirement can be some of the best years of your life if you just let it, and get over that, you feel useless; if you are stupid enough or vain enough to think that way.
Put just as much effort into retirement as you put in the previous 65 or so years of your life and you will have one hell of a good time, if your health holds up, so much the better.
Loving retirement, but also, all the other parts of life before that, as well.

Thanks jb

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Artful Dodger
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Artful Dodger » Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:44 pm

renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm
I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.
Great writer, and lived life with gusto. Not sure he's the best example for someone looking to transition into retirement, as he committed suicide at age 61.

MathWizard
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by MathWizard » Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:52 pm

ralph124cf wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:29 pm
Whatever you do, do NOT accept the same pay as a contractor as you did as an employee. You have unique skills, you can command AT LEAST double your previous rate as a contractor.

Ralph
I figure at least 37.5% above salary for expenses of an employee (1/2 of SS, retirement, health /dental insurance, etc.) and this does not
count the overhead: telephone, training, an office or cubicle, etc.

I know double might sound like a lot, but the company avoids a lot of costs when hiring a contractor. You're also a lot easier to "fire" at the end of a contract, they just don't renew, with no worries about any wrongful termination lawsuits.

7eight9
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by 7eight9 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:55 pm

Artful Dodger wrote:
Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:44 pm
renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm
I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.
Great writer, and lived life with gusto. Not sure he's the best example for someone looking to transition into retirement, as he committed suicide at age 61.
He didn't have to worry about safe withdrawal rates or sequence of returns risk. :happy
I guess it all could be much worse. | They could be warming up my hearse.

pennywise
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by pennywise » Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:57 pm

michaeljc70 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:57 pm
Take your time. I find that one thing a lot of people do in retirement is take their time. When working, I spent 15-20 minutes reading the newspaper. In retirement, I spend hours reading (though online, not a physical paper). I used to try to grocery shop once a week. Now, if I go 2-3 times a week, who cares? I offer to help to friends/family with stuff. I just had a friend that moved this week and helped him hang some art that he couldn't manage on his own and we got to chit chat and I got to see his new place.
Indeed. I've been retired twice as long as the OP and in my two weeks of experience :D I've already been deeply gratified at how lovely it feels to simply have time to do things without a constant sense of frantic deadlines and conflicting tasks. And my first two weeks included a holiday filled with visiting houseguests and a sudden health problem/decline on the part of a very close elderly relative that required a huge unexpected time commitment.

Actually yesterday I deliberately scheduled several activities in sequence to accomplish multiple tasks that needed to be done. Even giving myself transit time between them I felt so pressured and rushed.

OTOH today I went to an exercise class, had lunch with a friend then ran a couple of errands. It felt so luxurious to know I could chat as long as I wanted over our meal, and that I could wander into an adjacent shop to look around before getting groceries. The knowledge that I didn't have to be anywhere at any particular time feels like a priceless luxury to me after so many years of multitasking and balancing life around going to work.

I suggest Bogleheads adopt one of Thoreau's wise sayings as the official retirement mantra:

“I love a broad margin to my life.”

renue74
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by renue74 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:35 pm

7eight9 wrote:
Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:55 pm
Artful Dodger wrote:
Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:44 pm
renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm
I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.
Great writer, and lived life with gusto. Not sure he's the best example for someone looking to transition into retirement, as he committed suicide at age 61.
He didn't have to worry about safe withdrawal rates or sequence of returns risk. :happy
Hemingway was worth $1.4M at his death....which is about $11M in today's $.

"Mr. Hemingway had holdings in 36 companies. They were mainly blue-chip securities that apparently provided him with more income in the five years preceding his death than did his published works."

http://movies2.nytimes.com/books/99/07/ ... state.html

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GerryL
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by GerryL » Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:06 pm

OP,
One thing I started doing when I retired 5 years ago was to begin keeping a daily log. I don't call it a diary, because I don't record deep thoughts or feelings. Not much introspection. It's a simple and most often short note about what I did that day. It generally only takes me a few minutes to jot it down and I'm pretty diligent. (When I travel I bring along a smaller travel notebook.)

"Got up early and went out for breakfast and berry picking with JS. In the PM spent an hour or so weeding and then another hour sorting books to give to the library book sale. "

Sometimes longer for an unusual event, like a call from someone after a long spell or a day trip or a particularly memorable activity. Or to document a decision.

The original goal was to keep track of the days of the week in case they all started merging together (if today is Thursday, what did I do Tuesday?) , but it also makes me stop and think about how I'm spending my time -- since at my age it is in shorter supply. Someday i might even go back and read through my notebooks.

theplayer11
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by theplayer11 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:07 pm

how did we get to the point that our entire existence is based on our work? You are retired, do whatever [removed -- moderator oldcomputerguy] you want..travel, get hobbies, do nothing......life's too short to be retired and still thinking you should be working.

[extra blank lines removed by admin LadyGeek]
m

123
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by 123 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:23 pm

My uncle tells me that in retirement "Every evening is like Friday night, Every morning is like Saturday morning". Sounds pretty nice.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

shell921
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by shell921 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:52 pm

GerryL wrote:
Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:06 pm
OP,
One thing I started doing when I retired 5 years ago was to begin keeping a daily log. I don't call it a diary, because I don't record deep thoughts or feelings. Not much introspection. It's a simple and most often short note about what I did that day. It generally only takes me a few minutes to jot it down and I'm pretty diligent. (When I travel I bring along a smaller travel notebook.)

"Got up early and went out for breakfast and berry picking with JS. In the PM spent an hour or so weeding and then another hour sorting books to give to the library book sale. "

Sometimes longer for an unusual event, like a call from someone after a long spell or a day trip or a particularly memorable activity. Or to document a decision.

The original goal was to keep track of the days of the week in case they all started merging together (if today is Thursday, what did I do Tuesday?) , but it also makes me stop and think about how I'm spending my time -- since at my age it is in shorter supply. Someday i might even go back and read through my notebooks.
YES - this is great and something I also do.

IMO
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by IMO » Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:02 am

jdv01 wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:36 pm
Survived the first week of retirement not sure about week two. I ended up retiring a year earlier then I had planned for due to a small buy out from my employer who was trying to downsize. My family was very much in favor of me retiring early. Luckily I turned 65 last month. I had already applied for Medicare Part A just to have that out of way so spent Monday morning trying to figure out how to apply for Part B. Found the right form and got that filled out and mailed to my local Social Security Office. Since I'm still within the initial enrollment period I figure it should go Ok. My wife who doesn't have the neccessary 40 quarters since she is a SAHM has a phone interview in a couple of weeks. We have the paperwork to prove insurance coverage so I think she will be Ok to be covered under my work record and shouldn't be penalized for signing up late.

Sitting here with a knot in my stomach worrying that I should have worked a year longer and feeling a bit worthless because I don't have a job. I read an article recently titled "Think you are ready for retirement? You probably aren't." Or something similar. The point was that many retirees have their finances in order but aren't emotionally prepared for the big change that comes with retirement. I know I'm not prepared. I thought I had another year to get emotionally prepared instead I had just a couple of weeks.

I have a whole list of things to do around the house including lots of gardening which I enjoy. I do photography as a hobby and sell a bit on the side. But at the end of the day I feel like I've worked hard but that I'm not contributing to society. Which is something I never felt when I was working. I have lots of volunteer opportunities I hope to do but right now I have terrible sciatica which limits what I can do. Walking can be extremely painful at times and most mornings it takes a while to get the kinks out and sometimes lots of pain meds too. That is part of why my family wanted me to retire so that I could work on fixing that issue. So getting my health in order is job one. I think if I was doing that and still had a job to return to I wouldn't feel the same. My ex-employer has talked about trying to get me back as a contractor after I have been gone a month - that is the a rule that you have to be gone a month when you retire before coming back as a contractor. The wife says she is against me returning as a contractor but I'm seriously considering it just to feel like I'm still contributing. But who knows maybe in a few weeks I will have turned the corner emotionally.

Anyone have ideas on how to make the transition easier?

I am one of those people who would work when they are sick rather take a sick day since I always felt I was cheating my employer. Always took my computer with me on vacation and checked email and logged in to check for issues at night.
I checked email all the way up until Sunday evening eventhough my last work day was Friday. Hope this gets easier sooner rather than later. I know it sounds like I'm complaining about having to eat cake and ice cream and I know this is a problem that many would love to have but it really isn't as easy as it sounds.

Thanks
jdv01

One of he the IT managers reached out to me today to let me know he has beening thinking about me and wanting to know how things are going. He said he is 99% of the way to getting a contractor position opened for me if I'm interested. It would be part time and mostly stuff I could do from home. I'm a sucker for anyone who needs help and I know they do so at this point just trying to be realistic. I know they can figure out a way without me coming back but I also know it would be much easier for them if I came back even part time. I've helped design and build almost everything in their current IT enviroment and know all of the key players in the corporate group. Starting with a new contractor would be a lot of work for them especially since it would be for just 1 year. I have a few weeks to think about it since I would have to wait until August 1st to start. Maybe by then I will be happy to stay retired.

jdv01
I find it interesting you felt having to retire at 65 is early. You obviously have a great deal of your identity tied to your career and were fortunate you still enjoyed work and weren't burned out.

If you can find it, watch the movie "About Schmidt" with Jack Nicholson because it really is an interesting take on someone starting retirement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-dafG40eGU

I retired much much earlier than you, but was very very burnt out. Despite that, it really takes time to adjust to a new phase in life while giving up on a career that you put your heart/soul into developing. Honestly, there is a sort of weird mourning one can go through when you leave your career (even when burned out) that simply like most mourning takes time to naturally get through. It takes some people longer than others to realize that at work, no matter how important one felt they were, things will go on and we all are really expendable. I was very busy/active right after retirement, but I think it took about 1 year to really put work/career thoughts behind me.

It is time to cherish the health you still have (while you've already lost a significant amount), take care of yourself, develop and/or refresh new/old interests, and try to spend more time with family/friends.

I wish you the best through the transition. :sharebeer

MathIsMyWayr
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Re: A Couple of Points of Clarification on my Post

Post by MathIsMyWayr » Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:24 am

jdv01 wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:30 am
... most of the time there was no one else to do the work if I didn't do it. And when I decided to retire I left my IT group of 3 people down by one person and they can only replace me with a contractor with hard 1 year limit for the contract. They will have to do that since they are going to be increasing their workload by an additional 40% as they take on an additonal 1500 servers from a recent acquistion. So I'm feeling very guilty about leaving when I did.
I am firmly in the camp that one continues working unless he hates the work.
If you worry that a section of a company will go through an extreme hardship without you, it is a fallacy or the company is failure as a business. Business will adjust and survive a change of personnel. Soldiers go to war, fight and die for their country. A company is not a country to die for. Why can't the company go and find a replacement? Just give them some help for a short transition period if you feel like.

Glasnevin Cemetery is full of indispensable people. - Charles de Gaulle

MP173
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by MP173 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:25 pm

GerryL:

I have been keeping a diary (journal, log, etc) since 1980. These are standard Acco Brand Diary books for each year. I record the events of the day each evening. I am on volume 40. The last day missed was in 1981.

This collection is one of my most prized possessions.

Ed

gd
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by gd » Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:08 am

Guilt and obligation should have no part in this. The only reason someone's indispensable is bad management, or (from my background in software R&D) doing a job inappropriately obscurely (and management doesn't catch it, as they should).

Go back to work for some structure and community if you want, but understand that moving on to the next chapter of your life doesn't diminish the last one. A.k.a. "we'll always have Paris".

Bir48die
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Bir48die » Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:21 am

I kind of get it. I was asked to go P/T as long as I wanted and it was a very lucrative deal. However, I have never felt like work defined me or gave me purpose. It was a means to not work. So, I understand being antsy but not wanting to have some meaning attached to working.

I'm three years in. I reveled in the fact that I could stay up and have a couple beers on Sunday night knowing Monday was another day off. I have filled my time by slowing increasing some of the things I do dependent on the time of year. Such as:

Travel/camping
Major labor intensive home projects
Gym
Free taxes during tax time
Just taking time in the morning to drink coffee and reading some of these posts/papers/blogs

I did tell my wife that if I did anything it would probably be working at Home Depot P/T because I spend three days a week there anyway

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tennisplyr
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by tennisplyr » Mon Jul 15, 2019 3:16 pm

Do some reading on the subject, talk with other retirees...surely there are lots of things you can do with your time...life is short, don't just endure it, enjoy it!
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.

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