When someone has dementia, any significant change in their life can send them on a downward spiral.Ladeedaw wrote: ↑Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:05 pmThank you again for your insights. To answer a few questions brought up, the level of my grandma's memory problems is unclear to me right now. two months ago, she'd have some small memory hiccups, repeating herself in conversation or mixing up when recent things happened. Grandpa has been in care the last 6 weeks for hip replacement recovery, and in that time, her memory seems to have deteriorated much more rapidly. She calls, panicked, because she can't find my Grandpa (who has been gone from the house for weeks). She has fallen and bruised herself badly, but can't remember falling. During part of this time, she's had family members staying with her, but the increased frequency of these occurrences when left alone is what prompted my parents' decision that the grandparents can no longer live alone. And I think they are right in that assessment.
As of two months ago, both grandparents could still feed themselves, walk (with a walker), bath themselves, and had control of their bladder and bowels, which I think is why my parents are willing to take them into their home. They've slept a lot and aren't very crabby or antagonistic. I'm not sure which of these details have changed since Grandpa broke his hip. I realize things can change very quickly.
Regarding grandparents' residence, they own it outright. It's not worth a ton (I'm guessing $150k, not knowing the local market). There is some question, unrelated to their health, as to what will happen to the house. It may stay in the family; it may be sold. I've not been privy to the conversations about that decision, but will ask my dad soon.
I'm grateful for the personal experiences and observations shared here. I'm seeing that a) my parents will need help in caring for my grandparents, even short term and b) if my grandparents' conditions deteriorates any further, they will probably need professional care 24/7. I believe my parents will be resistant to that idea right now, but I will start researching and talk to them in the next couple of weeks about limits: at what point they will agree that they can't do this full time on their own.
It sounds like your grandfather’s fall and his being away from the house may have had that effect on your grandmother.