Move out or stay at my parents?

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123
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by 123 » Sun May 12, 2019 11:56 pm

Have some consideration for your parents. They've had to incorporate your presence into their plans for 28 years. It's time to let them move on to the next stage in their lives. You want them to be able to live independently without your presence required. It's time to move out and move on. We've had family friends and neighbors where a son didn't leave home because it was just too comfortable for all concerned. Likely a situation similar to your own. The sons never got around to establishing a complete life separate from their parents. The parents friends became the son's friends. Over time the sons fell out of their own friendship circles as their friends married. While the sons had a comfortable life they seemed to miss a lot of social opportunities since they became so tied to their parents activities over the years.

Think of yourself as a 60 years old man living at home with parent(s) age 85. You can all go to senior center for lunch together. If you don't move out that could very well be your situation.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

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RickBoglehead
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by RickBoglehead » Mon May 13, 2019 5:10 am

Much earlier in our lives, we had a rule never to live in a state where our immediate family lived. It was partly a joke, partly not.

DW grew up with much of both families within an hour. I great up with family out of state, usually many states away.

I cannot imagine weekly family dinners.
Avid user of forums on variety of interests-financial, home brewing, F-150, PHEV, home repair, etc. Enjoy learning & passing on knowledge. It's PRINCIPAL, not PRINCIPLE. I ADVISE you to seek ADVICE.

stevekozak2
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by stevekozak2 » Mon May 13, 2019 5:37 am

stt816 wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 3:34 pm
To everyone I live in a higher cost area (southwestern ct) I’m newly single and got out of a long term relationship so that was a huge reason I thought of moving out. Say I want to bring a girl over...I definitely could over my parents but I wouldn’t want to introduce her especially if it’s new..there is no separate entrance and I would basically have to bring her over after they go to sleep. They wouldn’t get mad at me bringing over a girl it just could make things awkward. I never went away to school. This house is only a mile away from my parents too

Also renting any apartment would be either the same cost (1100) or more 1100 in this area would be cheap for a one bedroom or studio
I hope you have half your stuff packed already because you need to move out on your own, now!! Forget this "30 is the new 18" business. Start adulting post-haste!!

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nativenewenglander
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by nativenewenglander » Mon May 13, 2019 5:48 am

stt816 wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 3:03 pm
Hi I’m 27 and I just bought a 2 family home. I’m renting it both but was debating moving in the downstairs apartment. His lease is up in September. I put down 20 percent and I would be paying around 1100 a month in “rent” towards the mortgage.

My parents, and brother are both telling me I should stay home and continue renting out both apartments. Part of me understands that but the other part of me wants my own place. Especially at age 27, and I will be 28 in August. What are your thoughts on this. It has nothing to do with my parents annoying me because they have a large home and I’m not smothered by them. They don’t charge me any rent to live there as well.

Thanks
At 22 I bought a house and moved 80 miles away to another state. It was an 1-1/2 hours by car far enough to start building a life. It had been my plan since 17. My dad gave me a mortgage 13% at the time and I never missed a payment, then I got a bank mortgage 30 months later as rates were dropping back then. My brother lived at home running an import business from my parents home, until the select board got after my dad for the trailer warehouse parked in the driveway. My brother then bought his own building with a few apartments. I guess for me it was about wanting to build a life as an independent adult. Meeting new people and gaining new experiences was another goal in all of it. My mother wasn't happy I moved so far away, but she got over it. You're only a mile down the road, so not a big deal at all. Perhaps write down the pros and cons to living in each location and see what it looks like on paper. Good Luck.

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samsoes
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by samsoes » Mon May 13, 2019 6:03 am

Just think, once you get your own place, you can use the bathroom without closing the door! It's a wonderful thing! :mrgreen:

And, no, don't give anyone - including your parents - a key.

Time to be your own man.
"Happiness Is Not My Companion" - Gen. Gouverneur K. Warren. | (Avatar is the statue of Gen. Warren atop Little Round Top @ Gettysburg National Military Park.)

Dandy
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by Dandy » Mon May 13, 2019 6:20 am

Living at home does help savings but getting out on your own tends to help getting the full adult experience. You might be surprised at how many things you don't have to do or worry about when you live at home. Having a rental also helps but I would recommend getting out on your own. If not now what event would trigger moving out?

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sunny_socal
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by sunny_socal » Mon May 13, 2019 6:48 am

You're about 5 years late. Move out already.

If ONLY money matters then just stay w/ mom & dad for the rest of your life. $ Profit $

carolinaman
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by carolinaman » Mon May 13, 2019 6:58 am

I think you need to live on your own. You need to be independent of your parents. You can and should maintain close ties with your parents but you need your own place. Some posters are looking at this from a financial perspective but I think living independently from your parents outweighs those considerations.

Red flags go up when prospective girl friends or bosses learn you are still living at home at 28.

CoastalWinds
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by CoastalWinds » Mon May 13, 2019 8:46 am

harrychan wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 5:32 pm
Unless you have significant debt you are paying off, move out to be on your own. I moved out to another country by myself when I was 17. It forced me to mature at the light of speed and in turn helped me in many areas indirectly particularly my career and maturity.
This. The lost/missed opportunities to grow, evolve, face the challenges and realities of life is the real issue here, not the $1,200/month.

Barsoom
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by Barsoom » Mon May 13, 2019 8:56 am

Start building up your credit history with electricity accounts, cable, phone, garbage, renter's insurance, etc., by moving into your own home and establishing these accounts in your own name.

-B

hayhayday
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by hayhayday » Tue May 14, 2019 2:08 pm

If you move into your rental you could refi as owner occupied which could reduce the cost depending on your current rate as rentals typically run higher

ohai
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by ohai » Tue May 14, 2019 2:20 pm

I actually think it's not too bad to live with parents, especially if you are helpful, i.e. not just playing video games all day. If circumstances change, like you get a gf, then perhaps it will be time to move on.

Triple digit golfer
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by Triple digit golfer » Tue May 14, 2019 2:23 pm

You bought a house, but you're still living at your parents' house?

Maybe I am missing something here. You are 28, have a house and are collecting rent, yet not paying any rent to live where you currently live?

Time to move out.

balbrec2
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by balbrec2 » Tue May 14, 2019 9:00 pm

stt816 wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 3:03 pm
Hi I’m 27 and I just bought a 2 family home. I’m renting it both but was debating moving in the downstairs apartment. His lease is up in September. I put down 20 percent and I would be paying around 1100 a month in “rent” towards the mortgage.

My parents, and brother are both telling me I should stay home and continue renting out both apartments. Part of me understands that but the other part of me wants my own place. Especially at age 27, and I will be 28 in August. What are your thoughts on this. It has nothing to do with my parents annoying me because they have a large home and I’m not smothered by them. They don’t charge me any rent to live there as well.

Thanks
If you can afford to live on your own, you should. I mean your nearly 28. How awkward is it to bring a date back to your
place when your place is really your parents place?

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Noble Knight
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by Noble Knight » Tue May 14, 2019 9:20 pm

Move out, money isn’t everything.

Quaestner
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by Quaestner » Wed May 15, 2019 5:45 pm

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t." - Erica Jong

AerialWombat
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by AerialWombat » Wed May 15, 2019 7:49 pm

Two weeks after high school graduation, I moved from one coast to the other (military). I have zero comprehension of kids today living at home this long.

Get out and get on with life, bro.
“Life doesn’t come with a warranty.” -Michael LeBoeuf

Thegame14
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by Thegame14 » Wed May 15, 2019 8:19 pm

stt816 wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 3:03 pm
Hi I’m 27 and I just bought a 2 family home. I’m renting it both but was debating moving in the downstairs apartment. His lease is up in September. I put down 20 percent and I would be paying around 1100 a month in “rent” towards the mortgage.

My parents, and brother are both telling me I should stay home and continue renting out both apartments. Part of me understands that but the other part of me wants my own place. Especially at age 27, and I will be 28 in August. What are your thoughts on this. It has nothing to do with my parents annoying me because they have a large home and I’m not smothered by them. They don’t charge me any rent to live there as well.

Thanks
do you have a girlfriend or wife and do you want one?

If you have one you are serious about and she is ok with you living at home, stay at home. If you are single and want a GF/wife, move out.

bltn
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by bltn » Wed May 15, 2019 8:36 pm

8foot7 wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 6:59 pm
Call me old fashioned but I think a man needs to stand on his own two feet by 28.

Also call me old fashioned but the girls who are cool with a 28yo guy still living in his parents’ basemen are not the girls you’ll want to keep around.
A little extra money/savings is nice, but self sufficiency is invaluable.

As frugal as I am, in your position I would move out.

SoonerD
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by SoonerD » Wed May 15, 2019 9:07 pm

I feel sad for you.

If you’re not living in poverty and not of special needs it’s time to try independent manhood. If that doesn’t work your parents will probably have mercy and take you back onto their expense ledger.

MindBogler
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Re: Move out or stay at my parents?

Post by MindBogler » Wed May 15, 2019 9:15 pm

AerialWombat wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 7:49 pm
Two weeks after high school graduation, I moved from one coast to the other (military). I have zero comprehension of kids today living at home this long.

Get out and get on with life, bro.
Same, and I would have left earlier if I could have.

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