Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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TxAg
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by TxAg » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:24 pm

Tagged for motivation

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JaneyLH
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by JaneyLH » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:31 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:11 pm
The key to success is not a greater willpower but complete avoidance.

If you decide to limit alcohol, don't keep any alcohol at home and have it only when you go out.
If you decide to limit junk food, don't keep any junk at home. None.
If you are trying keto, get rid of all carbs. All of them.

Victoria
My own experience has been that my desire for sugary and starchy foods greatly diminished after just 2 or 3 days of eliminating them. My husband loves carbs and can metabolize them without gaining weight, so to remove carbs from the house would be inconsiderate. I usually make a carbohydrate side dish for him to supplement what I make for myself — and often add extra fat such as cheese, sour cream, nuts, or avocado to my meal. Works great!

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GoldStar
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by GoldStar » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:39 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:11 pm
The key to success is not a greater willpower but complete avoidance; see the article "The myth of self-control," https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/ ... ology-myth that includes several food examples.

If you decide to limit alcohol, don't keep any alcohol at home and have it only when you go out.
If you decide to limit junk food, don't keep any junk at home. None.
If you are trying keto, get rid of all carbs. All of them.

Victoria
Of course these things are easier to do if you don't have a house full of people bringing them in :)

LiterallyIronic
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by LiterallyIronic » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:54 pm

There's no secret to it. Consume fewer calories than you burn and you'll lose weight. Either exercise more or consume less. The choice is yours.

NOTE THAT I AM INSANE AND NOT A DIETITIAN OR DOCTOR, NOR IS THIS MEDICAL ADVICE, NOR SHOULD YOU FOLLOW IT. I HAVE NEVER LOST WEIGHT IN MY LIFE, ONLY KEPT MYSELF FROM GAINING IT, SO I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT, BUT I'M 5'7" AND 125 POUNDS AT AGE 35, SO IT'S WORKED FOR ME.

wolf359
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by wolf359 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:55 pm

What motivated you about the finances that is not there with diet?

Your health actually IS a financial issue.

1) Health care costs are directly tied to your BMI. If you are overweight or obese, you will have more health issues. This will raise your costs.

2) Your longevity is directly tied to your health.

3) That cheap junk food and those snacks have a cost tied to the consequences of eating them. This of them as expensive on the back end price tag.

4) At one of the Berkshire Hathaway annual meetings, a teacher asked Warren Buffett how to advise students on preparing for retirement. Buffett said the students should treat their minds and bodies like “the only car you’re going to have for the rest of your life.” You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Vjsbs_2w8 It's excellent investment advice.

5) I found success in dieting the same way I did in investing -- through automation. Pre-packaging meals and minimizing decisions proved successful for me. In my experience, it's easier to lose weight by just focusing on the diet part. Yes, the answer is diet and exercise. But adjusting diet is much easier, requires less effort, and has greater impact. When it comes to exercise, I am just lazy and don't have enough self-discipline. For the exercise side of the equation, I track activity level and build activities into my routine so I can't avoid it. Always take stairs and always park on the far side of the parking lot. Carry a step counter and hit 10,000 steps a day.

bloom2708
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by bloom2708 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm

My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
"We are not here to please, but to provoke thoughtfulness." --Unknown Boglehead

LiterallyIronic
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by LiterallyIronic » Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:59 pm

bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm
My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
Well, if you ever figure out, let me know. My wife is 5'3" and 180 pounds. She put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant, which, of course, makes perfect sense. But the baby turns two next month, and its taken her all that time to drop like five pounds. We can't even afford to get life insurance for her because of her BMI (she's five years younger than me, but would cost a whole heck of a lot more). My wife now wears the same clothes for like three days in a row because she has so little that fits her; meanwhile, her brother's wife just had a baby in December and is already back wearing her pre-maternity clothes). But, of course, I can't mention that. I just know that my wife make brownies or something in the evening, I'll eat a couple that night and then go to work in the morning, only to find that the entire tray has been eaten before I get back.

It seems like I need to get her back to going to work again, not even primarily for the income, but to take up her time so she can't spend it eating and shopping.

I mean, do I offer some kind of incentive? Like, "We can finally buy that coffee table you want when you get down to 150 pounds." I don't want it to seem like I'm holding a coffee table hostage or treating her like a child.

I'm at a loss.

DrGoogle2017
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by DrGoogle2017 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:04 pm

LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:59 pm
bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm
My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
Well, if you ever figure out, let me know. My wife is 5'3" and 180 pounds. She put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant, which, of course, makes perfect sense. But the baby turns two next month, and its taken her all that time to drop like five pounds. We can't even afford to get life insurance for her because of her BMI (she's five years younger than me, but would cost a whole heck of a lot more). My wife now wears the same clothes for like three days in a row because she has so little that fits her; meanwhile, her brother's wife just had a baby in December and is already back wearing her pre-maternity clothes). But, of course, I can't mention that. I just know that my wife make brownies or something in the evening, I'll eat a couple that night and then go to work in the morning, only to find that the entire tray has been eaten before I get back.

It seems like I need to get her back to going to work again, not even primarily for the income, but to take up her time so she can't spend it eating and shopping.

I mean, do I offer some kind of incentive? Like, "We can finally buy that coffee table you want when you get down to 150 pounds." I don't want it to seem like I'm holding a coffee table hostage or treating her like a child.

I'm at a loss.
Why don’t you have more outdoor activities with your wife. It might help her. Do you live somewhere cold. I notice I hibernate more when it’s cold. California has been brutal lately. I didn’t spend one day outside before I went on my vacation.

getthatmarshmallow
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by getthatmarshmallow » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:10 pm

LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:59 pm
bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm
My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
Well, if you ever figure out, let me know. My wife is 5'3" and 180 pounds. She put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant, which, of course, makes perfect sense. But the baby turns two next month, and its taken her all that time to drop like five pounds. We can't even afford to get life insurance for her because of her BMI (she's five years younger than me, but would cost a whole heck of a lot more). My wife now wears the same clothes for like three days in a row because she has so little that fits her; meanwhile, her brother's wife just had a baby in December and is already back wearing her pre-maternity clothes). But, of course, I can't mention that. I just know that my wife make brownies or something in the evening, I'll eat a couple that night and then go to work in the morning, only to find that the entire tray has been eaten before I get back.

It seems like I need to get her back to going to work again, not even primarily for the income, but to take up her time so she can't spend it eating and shopping.

I mean, do I offer some kind of incentive? Like, "We can finally buy that coffee table you want when you get down to 150 pounds." I don't want it to seem like I'm holding a coffee table hostage or treating her like a child.

I'm at a loss.
I suspect if you keep complaining about your wife's weight on the Internet, you won't have to worry about funding a long retirement. ;) But in all seriousness, there's not much you can do. She has to want to. Holding furniture hostage is likely not going to work.

It might help to focus on eating heathily as a family. Prioritize veggies and whole grains. Make the brownies a Sunday treat and freeze the rest. Take the kid in the evening so she can work out. That kind of thing.

bloom2708
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by bloom2708 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:11 pm

DrGoogle2017 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:04 pm
Why don’t you have more outdoor activities with your wife. It might help her. Do you live somewhere cold. I notice I hibernate more when it’s cold. California has been brutal lately. I didn’t spend one day outside before I went on my vacation.
It has been cold in California and Arizona. Brrrrr. :wink: :wink: Everything in perspective.

You can see where I am from (Fargo, ND). We have terrible weather. Lots of it. Almost year round. So that is a contributing factor. Much more opportunity for a sedentary lifestyle here. Although, if things aren't a priority in sub-optimal conditions (exercise, diet) they likely wouldn't be a priority if the weather was nicer.

I've wanted to move for years. That is another touchy subject. Ha ha. Fun times. Life is hard, then you die. :confused
"We are not here to please, but to provoke thoughtfulness." --Unknown Boglehead

bloom2708
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by bloom2708 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:14 pm

getthatmarshmallow wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:10 pm
I suspect if you keep complaining about your wife's weight on the Internet, you won't have to worry about funding a long retirement. ;) But in all seriousness, there's not much you can do. She has to want to. Holding furniture hostage is likely not going to work.

It might help to focus on eating heathily as a family. Prioritize veggies and whole grains. Make the brownies a Sunday treat and freeze the rest. Take the kid in the evening so she can work out. That kind of thing.
There is some truth to this. Ssshhhh. Don't talk about it. It will go away. Either side of the coin is tough. Maybe that is why often both sides of a couple are "in concert" with their weight?

Even talking about it from one side or the other is controversial. Sigh.
"We are not here to please, but to provoke thoughtfulness." --Unknown Boglehead

stoptothink
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by stoptothink » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:26 pm

getthatmarshmallow wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:10 pm
LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:59 pm
bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm
My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
Well, if you ever figure out, let me know. My wife is 5'3" and 180 pounds. She put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant, which, of course, makes perfect sense. But the baby turns two next month, and its taken her all that time to drop like five pounds. We can't even afford to get life insurance for her because of her BMI (she's five years younger than me, but would cost a whole heck of a lot more). My wife now wears the same clothes for like three days in a row because she has so little that fits her; meanwhile, her brother's wife just had a baby in December and is already back wearing her pre-maternity clothes). But, of course, I can't mention that. I just know that my wife make brownies or something in the evening, I'll eat a couple that night and then go to work in the morning, only to find that the entire tray has been eaten before I get back.

It seems like I need to get her back to going to work again, not even primarily for the income, but to take up her time so she can't spend it eating and shopping.

I mean, do I offer some kind of incentive? Like, "We can finally buy that coffee table you want when you get down to 150 pounds." I don't want it to seem like I'm holding a coffee table hostage or treating her like a child.

I'm at a loss.
I suspect if you keep complaining about your wife's weight on the Internet, you won't have to worry about funding a long retirement. ;) But in all seriousness, there's not much you can do. She has to want to. Holding furniture hostage is likely not going to work.

It might help to focus on eating heathily as a family. Prioritize veggies and whole grains. Make the brownies a Sunday treat and freeze the rest. Take the kid in the evening so she can work out. That kind of thing.
You need to be an example. From what you (LiterallyIronic) have posted on this site, it doesn't sound like you have a particularly healthy or physically active lifestyle. Don't complain about her not exercising or eating right, make the family a healthy meal or tell her you're going for a hike this afternoon instead of playing video games - she will follow.

My wife naturally has a very easy time staying lean, she doesn't have to eat as strict as I do to maintain her 5'8" 120lbs. figure. That being said, when we met she hadn't really ever exercised and her fitness was not great. On our 2nd date she passed out at the top of "the Y" (I know you know what this is) because she was attempting to keep up with me. I thought I was going to have to carry her down, luckily she came to and we descended slowly. She knew had to up her game to keep up with me and the lifestyle I wanted. She's a freaking beast now; this past summer she won first overall at a local sprint triathlon (having never done one and with like 6 weeks of training) and she can deadlift over twice her bodyweight.

shell921
Posts: 174
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:13 pm

Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by shell921 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:35 pm

My husband was 32 pounds overweight and he lost it without going hungry!

Go to:

https://www.drmcdougall.com/

to read and learn about Dr McDougall's way of eating. Healthy carbs are good for us.

THIS IS WHAT DR MC DOUGALL SAYS ABOUT CARBS:

Under usual living situations carbohydrates do not turn into body fat. Rather than being stored, excess carbohydrate calories are burned off as body heat, eliminated through the lungs and skin. Only by consuming very large amounts of refined flours and simple sugars will the body resort to converting carbohydrate into fat, a process called de novo lipogenesis. Fructose, often present as high fructose corn syrup and found in sodas and candies, is an exception in that this one form of simple carbohydrate is easily converted into body fat. Otherwise, think: “Carbohydrates found in rice, potatoes, broccoli and bananas will keep me thin and healthy—just like they do for people living in Asia and Peru.”

He wrote a book called "The Starch Solution" but on his website he tells you everything you need to know for free.


My dear friend [ I'll call her "Gloria"] always struggles with weight. She goes to weight watchers, counts calories etc.
She was telling me that going vegan is not the best way to lose weight.
I replied that right, going vegan is not only way to lose weight by any means.
it's just the holy grail of weight loss !! I said if you go the starch/plant based way
of eating you stick with it because you don't get hungry and you lose cravings
for fat because you down regulate your fat receptors. on the mc dougall way
of eating there is no counting calories or points. who wants to go through life
counting points
every time you eat? on mc dougall you eat until
satisfied then stop.
from the "allowed" foods. simple.

The great thing about the McDougall plan is that you get to
eat a lot more FOOD so you are not hungry all the time!
I didn't want my husband to be hungry or feel deprived. That is why I picked dr mcdougall's way of eating for him and me.

If you're eating typical American diet you have to work REALLY REALLY HARD not to gain weight.
Everyone overestimates the calories they're eating. If you cut out oil, dairy, meat, eggs & sugar
& processed foods & you cut down on nuts & breads you can eat all the live long day--and never gain weight.
Well, almost never.

Dr John McDougall's STARCH/plant way of eating is great. No counting calories, no weighing anything, no hunger,
no strict excercise regimen, and Eat 'till full. Then stop. it's really a way of life and not a diet.

My I remember that Gloria kept telling me the food I fixed is not very simple but she was wrong. SOME of the recipes
I sometimes make are "fancy" but mostly I cook simple.

VERY simple. But varied too! How about simple variety! 2-3 starches, like potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, or grains.
For veggies, there are a ton of frozen veggie mixes already chopped up and ready to heat
(green and yellow veggies, leafy greens, less dense starches, etc...)
Or fresh veggies cut & steamed in the basket with the rice/grains and perhaps some beans as well.
Soups are simple foods and we have soup almost every day. Oatmeal is so simple --the way I make it-- and it's fabulously good & healthy.
A salad and an oil free dressing is not much trouble.

And of course a few different fruits is nice - you can simply eat as they are.

So that's it--potatoes, rice, other grains, oats, veggies, beans soups & fruits. Nothing simpler.

Simple and a variety too !! Simple to prepare and eat, a variety of real food goodness.


Speaking of foods and simple foods. Human beings simply didn't evolve w/ much variety. They were more or less in the
same place their whole lives (within at most a few hundred miles, and that's a stretch), and there were no planes or fridges
to bring in exotic foods. Obviously until the last 1000 years or so people ate only what was right there, period--seasonal fruits and veggies,
root veggies that could be stored, small amounts of meat. Very little variety.

Once we got into the last millenium, the very rich (a very small number of people) could afford to get things brought in on ships from
far away--spices, some exotic foods that could be dried--but there still wasn't much.

It is only very recently that variety entered our lives--like the last century from 1950 onward. And it's no coincidence that that's precisely when
Americans started to get fatter and sicker!

Seeking out variety means seeking out difference and "better" tastes. We're more likely to overeat on such things.

Sticking w/ more or less the same things is probably healthier and it's definitely the way to avoid gaining weight.

No counting calories, points, carbs, or GI scores, no necessity for special formulas or foods, and no starving oneself.
And for weight loss/maintenance, it's the holy grail.

I have found that the simpler the better. Since mc dougall is a whole foods way of eating all you have to do is learn to cook foods whole.

Fruits and many veggies can be eaten raw. Other veggies steam lightly, boil, or bake.
Potatoes, boil or bake.
Grains (oats, rice, barley, quinoa, etc), soak and then boil. Or just boil.
Beans, soak, then boil.
Whole wheat pasta, boil.
Soup: take a variety of the above ingredients, put in a pot of water, boil.

I have found that the simpler I prepare my food the more satisfying it is.

If you can bake a potato and boil a pot on the stove you have all the skills you need to get by.


I think people can get caught up in the idea that they have to have interesting, time consuming recipes all
the time. My motto: There's nothing wrong with very simple, plain food -in fact it is best!

Many people assume "carbs make you fat", but look at carb eating people around the world, especially Asians who consume more calories than Americans per day and most of them are from rice, yet they are trimmer and fitter. Our bodies don't treat all calories equally. Fat consumed is almost stored in its entirety for the next famine. Protein is a building component, during infancy when we need the most protein we drink breast milk, which is 6% protein. The average adult needs about 4%. Protein is ACID, amino acids, and diets focused on protein result in bone minerals being dissolved away by the high acid load of a protein based diet.
You want to eat potatoes, rice, and tons of veggies, steamed, boiled, baked or raw. Season with your favorite spices and sauces provided there is no OIL and the sugar is low. This will force your body to BURN fat because whole foods take time to turn to energy.

http://www.thehealthyvegans.com/p/what- ... onUkyg_Pdk

LiterallyIronic
Posts: 958
Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2015 10:36 am

Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by LiterallyIronic » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:36 pm

DrGoogle2017 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:04 pm
Why don’t you have more outdoor activities with your wife. It might help her. Do you live somewhere cold. I notice I hibernate more when it’s cold. California has been brutal lately. I didn’t spend one day outside before I went on my vacation.
Yeah, Utah. It's cold. I don't want to go outside.
getthatmarshmallow wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:10 pm
It might help to focus on eating heathily as a family. Prioritize veggies and whole grains. Make the brownies a Sunday treat and freeze the rest. Take the kid in the evening so she can work out. That kind of thing.
That could help, but effectively puts me on a diet, too. :(

I could definitely take the kid in the evening so she could exercise, but she had a personal trainer for six months and didn't lose any weight (but it did lighten our bank account by $160/month), so that's not promising. :(
stoptothink wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:26 pm
You need to be an example. From what you (LiterallyIronic) have posted on this site, it doesn't sound like you have a particularly healthy or physically active lifestyle. Don't complain about her not exercising or eating right, make the family a healthy meal or tell her you're going for a hike this afternoon instead of playing video games - she will follow.

My wife naturally has a very easy time staying lean, she doesn't have to eat as strict as I do to maintain her 5'8" 120lbs. figure. That being said, when we met she hadn't really ever exercised and her fitness was not great. On our 2nd date she passed out at the top of "the Y" (I know you know what this is) because she was attempting to keep up with me. I thought I was going to have to carry her down, luckily she came to and we descended slowly. She knew had to up her game to keep up with me and the lifestyle I wanted. She's a freaking beast now; this past summer she won first overall at a local sprint triathlon (having never done one and with like 6 weeks of training) and she can deadlift over twice her bodyweight.
That's what I was afraid of. I spend my entire day just sitting. Work in front of a computer. Drive home. Sit in front of the computer or TV. But you're right. Maybe I can set up a quick workout that we do together before dinner or something, composed of push-ups, sit-ups, etc. It's too cold to go up "the Y" right now, but we do actually have an in-house gym at my work that we can use for free. Could do that after work once a week and go from there. It is a new year, which is generally a good time to try to get motivated.

P.S. - Your wife is impressive (don't take that out of context), tell her congratulations on the triathlon.
Last edited by LiterallyIronic on Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

getthatmarshmallow
Posts: 269
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 9:43 am

Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by getthatmarshmallow » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:39 pm

stoptothink wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:26 pm
getthatmarshmallow wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:10 pm
LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:59 pm
bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm
My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
Well, if you ever figure out, let me know. My wife is 5'3" and 180 pounds. She put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant, which, of course, makes perfect sense. But the baby turns two next month, and its taken her all that time to drop like five pounds. We can't even afford to get life insurance for her because of her BMI (she's five years younger than me, but would cost a whole heck of a lot more). My wife now wears the same clothes for like three days in a row because she has so little that fits her; meanwhile, her brother's wife just had a baby in December and is already back wearing her pre-maternity clothes). But, of course, I can't mention that. I just know that my wife make brownies or something in the evening, I'll eat a couple that night and then go to work in the morning, only to find that the entire tray has been eaten before I get back.

It seems like I need to get her back to going to work again, not even primarily for the income, but to take up her time so she can't spend it eating and shopping.

I mean, do I offer some kind of incentive? Like, "We can finally buy that coffee table you want when you get down to 150 pounds." I don't want it to seem like I'm holding a coffee table hostage or treating her like a child.

I'm at a loss.
I suspect if you keep complaining about your wife's weight on the Internet, you won't have to worry about funding a long retirement. ;) But in all seriousness, there's not much you can do. She has to want to. Holding furniture hostage is likely not going to work.

It might help to focus on eating heathily as a family. Prioritize veggies and whole grains. Make the brownies a Sunday treat and freeze the rest. Take the kid in the evening so she can work out. That kind of thing.
You need to be an example. From what you (LiterallyIronic) have posted on this site, it doesn't sound like you have a particularly healthy or physically active lifestyle. Don't complain about her not exercising or eating right, make the family a healthy meal or tell her you're going for a hike this afternoon instead of playing video games - she will follow.

My wife naturally has a very easy time staying lean, she doesn't have to eat as strict as I do to maintain her 5'8" 120lbs. figure. That being said, when we met she hadn't really ever exercised and her fitness was not great. On our 2nd date she passed out at the top of "the Y" (I know you know what this is) because she was attempting to keep up with me. I thought I was going to have to carry her down, luckily she came to and we descended slowly. She knew had to up her game to keep up with me and the lifestyle I wanted. She's a freaking beast now; this past summer she won first overall at a local sprint triathlon (having never done one and with like 6 weeks of training) and she can deadlift over twice her bodyweight.
Wow to her, and +1! It's easy for me to stay lean (though not as easy as it was a decade ago, sigh), but what helps my spouse, for whom it's not as easy, is that we cook a lot, and cook healthfully. We take the kids to the park or bike riding. He's not a fan of exercising and probably never will be, but it would be harder on him if we relied on fast food.

getthatmarshmallow
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by getthatmarshmallow » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:46 pm

LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:36 pm
DrGoogle2017 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:04 pm
Why don’t you have more outdoor activities with your wife. It might help her. Do you live somewhere cold. I notice I hibernate more when it’s cold. California has been brutal lately. I didn’t spend one day outside before I went on my vacation.
Yeah, Utah. It's cold. I don't want to go outside.
getthatmarshmallow wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:10 pm
It might help to focus on eating heathily as a family. Prioritize veggies and whole grains. Make the brownies a Sunday treat and freeze the rest. Take the kid in the evening so she can work out. That kind of thing.
That could help, but effectively puts me on a diet, too. :(

I could definitely take the kid in the evening so she could exercise, but she had a personal trainer for six months and didn't lose any weight (but it did lighten our bank account by $160/month), so that's not promising. :(
stoptothink wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:26 pm
You need to be an example. From what you (LiterallyIronic) have posted on this site, it doesn't sound like you have a particularly healthy or physically active lifestyle. Don't complain about her not exercising or eating right, make the family a healthy meal or tell her you're going for a hike this afternoon instead of playing video games - she will follow.

My wife naturally has a very easy time staying lean, she doesn't have to eat as strict as I do to maintain her 5'8" 120lbs. figure. That being said, when we met she hadn't really ever exercised and her fitness was not great. On our 2nd date she passed out at the top of "the Y" (I know you know what this is) because she was attempting to keep up with me. I thought I was going to have to carry her down, luckily she came to and we descended slowly. She knew had to up her game to keep up with me and the lifestyle I wanted. She's a freaking beast now; this past summer she won first overall at a local sprint triathlon (having never done one and with like 6 weeks of training) and she can deadlift over twice her bodyweight.
That's what I was afraid of. I spend my entire day just sitting. Work in front of a computer. Drive home. Sit in front of the computer or TV. But you're right. Maybe I can set up a quick workout that we do together before dinner or something, composed of push-ups, sit-ups, etc. It's too cold to go up "the Y" right now, but we do actually have an in-house gym at my work that we can use for free. Could do that after work once a week and go from there. It is a new year, which is generally a good time to try to get motivated.
She doesn't need a trainer.

Fitnessblender videos are free. Mommastrong is $5 a month (and great for easing into exercise postpartum, focusing on core.) Yoga with Adriene is free on YouTube. You can get Jillian Michaels DVDs from the library or for under $15 on Amazon. Zombies, Run 5K app is free or very cheap.

And the best way to get through a Utah winter is to take up a winter sport. Snowshoeing is cheap, fun, and burns calories, and then when it snows, you're happy because you get to snowshoe.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by delamer » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:53 pm

LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:59 pm
bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:28 pm
My spouse is usually 20-50 pounds over weight. on a small frame. It just isn't a priority for her. She does everything for everyone else.

She can lose the weight and has done it. It just slowly creeps back on.

I finally got to the point where I said if I mention eating better, exercising more, not buying certain foods, putting herself at least in the top 5 I would preface or follow it by saying "Anything I say is because I don't want you to die."

All these plans we are making for retirement. All the saving/investing. It goes out the door if you don't have your health. We've watch it happened to our parents. We are no different. Being overweight has a ton of consequences direct and indirect. A family with a history of breast cancer. Being overweight greatly adds to the risk. It is so much in our control, yet we let family and holidays and baking traditions and everything derail the efforts. It is sad and a no win situation.

I guess it is not easy being the person who does exercise and does keep my weight at an optimal setting. So even on the flip side it is tough. No easy answers.
Well, if you ever figure out, let me know. My wife is 5'3" and 180 pounds. She put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant, which, of course, makes perfect sense. But the baby turns two next month, and its taken her all that time to drop like five pounds. We can't even afford to get life insurance for her because of her BMI (she's five years younger than me, but would cost a whole heck of a lot more). My wife now wears the same clothes for like three days in a row because she has so little that fits her; meanwhile, her brother's wife just had a baby in December and is already back wearing her pre-maternity clothes). But, of course, I can't mention that. I just know that my wife make brownies or something in the evening, I'll eat a couple that night and then go to work in the morning, only to find that the entire tray has been eaten before I get back.

It seems like I need to get her back to going to work again, not even primarily for the income, but to take up her time so she can't spend it eating and shopping.

I mean, do I offer some kind of incentive? Like, "We can finally buy that coffee table you want when you get down to 150 pounds." I don't want it to seem like I'm holding a coffee table hostage or treating her like a child.

I'm at a loss.
No incentives, please. That’s patronizing.

I didn’t have any trouble losing my baby weight, but I gained weight when I was home full-time with my oldest for a couple of years.

In retrospect, I understand that I was not psychologically well suited to be a “stay at home mom” and should have gone back to work sooner than I did.

My best suggestion is to provide her substantial chunks of non-baby, out-of-the-house time so she can have some time on her own or solely with other adults. More of that would have helped my mood and I would have done less emotional eating.

EDIT: I understand that my situation and my reaction to it are not universal. But it might have relevance for the OP’s wife.
Last edited by delamer on Fri Jan 11, 2019 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by TodayOnly » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:54 pm

I've tried many "diets" through my short 25 years of life. Some of them lasted longer than others. Currently, I'm intermittently fasting which seems to work for me. I essentially eat whatever I want, which may not be "healthy" but I've lost some by not trying very hard. I started off by simply eating from 10am to 6pm (8 hours) and narrowing down my eating time from there.

I find this to be helpful for me because it doesn't limit what I eat which is good for me because I like to cook and eat anything and everything. How long this will last? Who knows, but I'm not super attached to it like I was in previous "diets"

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Isabelle77 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 4:33 pm

There is absolutely nothing you can do to help another person lose weight except be supportive. I gain weight easily and while I've never been more than maybe 10lbs overweight, I fight daily to stay at a healthy weight. My husband is a naturally thin, fitness freak, who used to eat like a teenager. He's 5'10" and 150lbs. Nothing used to upset me more than when he would try to give me advice about losing weight.

It's like telling an alcoholic not to drink, it just doesn't work that way, they have to make the decision.

Any posters trying to help their spouses, just be supportive and don't undermine their efforts. Eating chips on the couch while I'm trying to be healthy, is unhelpful. Helping to cook new healthier recipes, is helpful. So are going for walks together, etc. and telling her (or him) that she looks great when she does have even a little success, goes a really long way.

BTW My husband doesn't eat like crap anymore because, despite his exercise regime and size, his cholesterol was 100 points higher than mine when he turned 40. So we're pretty plant-based these days with occasional fish and eggs. His cholesterol is normal and my weight is stable. I also use MyFitnessPal as mentioned above.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by carolinaman » Fri Jan 11, 2019 4:35 pm

I have managed to keep my weight in healthy range with little fat for most of my life. I did not have a diet plan but ate sensibly and drank only in moderation. I also was exercised 5 to 6 days a week.

I was diagnosed with GERD 10 years ago at age 64. My symptoms were serious which prompted me to change my diet. Eat smaller meals, eliminate deep fried foods, no high fat foods, eliminate most sweets. no beer or wine and other anti GERD foods. Someone told me to focus on what I could eat, not what I could not. Believe it or not, there are still a lot of food choices. It takes more planning and discipline, and given my motivation to avoid more serious problems from my condition, I did not find it difficult. Whenever, I cheat too much, my symptoms tell me right away. Bottom line is I lost 20 lbs without trying in about a year and I was not overweight to start with. I have managed to maintain my weight since then.

I miss some of the foods I used to eat regularly, but do not obsess over it. I am very thankful for my health.

If you are interested, check out an anti-GERD diet. There is plenty of info on the web about this. It is not a fad diet, but a diet to live by.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by bloom2708 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 4:36 pm

delamer wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:53 pm
No incentives, please. That’s patronizing.

I didn’t have any trouble losing my baby weight, but I gained weight when I was home full-time with my oldest for a couple of years.

In retrospect, I understand that I was not psychologically well suited to be a “stay at home mom” and should have gone back to work sooner than I did.

My best suggestion is to provide her substantial chunks of non-baby, out-of-the-house time so she can have some time on her own or solely with other adults. More of that would have helped my mood and I would have done less emotional eating.

EDIT: I understand that my situation and my reaction to it are not universal. But it might have relevance for the OP’s wife.
Action or in-action are both not appropriate from the "fit" spouse. Lose-lose.

Ever have two magnets. One direction they snap together. Flip them around and they push each other apart. This topic reminds me of that. For some couples it snaps together. For others, one's activity, goals actually seems to have the opposite reaction for the other spouse.

Take tomorrow. A cold Saturday. Around 10F here. I will get up and run 45 minutes on the treadmill. We have a nice commercial treadmill (walking or running) and a spin bike. After I'm done I might want to say "Morning, treadmill is open....". Can't say that. Patronizing. Or de-motivating maybe?

Some how, some way, there are a ton of people not at their goal/optimal weight. Everywhere. All over. Tough stuff.
"We are not here to please, but to provoke thoughtfulness." --Unknown Boglehead

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dm200
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by dm200 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 4:37 pm

Something like my "situation":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Sprat

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Cycle » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:02 pm

GoldStar wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:51 am
Dontwasteit is not really wrong. When the majority of folks say "I'm going on a on a diet" I don't need to break out a dictionary to know what they really mean is "I'm temporarily modifying my eating habits to lose wait". Compare that to someone that states "I'm making life style changes by changing what I eat and how much exercise is my daily routine." There is usually a mind-set difference with the nuances of these different phrasings that you won't necessarily find in the dictionary.
I don't hang out with overweight people so I never hear of anyone "going on a diet". We do talk about our diet quite a bit though, like ghee vs butter or whether ketosis actually improves focus or why when fasting vision improves.

That's another tip, surround yourself with people who are healthy since we are the average of the 5 people we interact the most with.

The most diet conscious people tend to be rock climbers. I'm not one but the few times I go to a climbing gym there are many a lean folk there.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by UpperNwGuy » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:13 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:11 pm
The key to success is not a greater willpower but complete avoidance; see the article "The myth of self-control," https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/ ... ology-myth that includes several food examples.

If you decide to limit alcohol, don't keep any alcohol at home and have it only when you go out.
If you decide to limit junk food, don't keep any junk at home. None.
If you are trying keto, get rid of all carbs. All of them.

Victoria
Good advice. If it isn't in the kitchen cupboard, I am less likely to eat it. if it isn't in the refrigerator, I am less likely to drink it. If it isn't on the wine rack, I am less likely to uncork it.

I tried keto last year and had some success. I'm limiting calories (and carbs) this year, without going full keto, and so far I'm having the same results.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by DrGoogle2017 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:19 pm

Look for something fun to do indoors in the winter. For us, that’s badminton, I know it’s kind of a whimpy sport but we always sweat so much after an 1.5 hour game. Belly dancing or yoga is another indoor exercise. But anyway beside eating less caloric food, do try to move more and drink plenty of water. Any little bit helps. I don’t like to use myfitness app because despite all that effort of keeping track of food, I lost nothing.

I only gain weight when I’m on vacation. I don’t even drink alcohol, but the breakfast buffet gets me to eat more. I have to watch out.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Kalo » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:33 pm

I've lost weight for the first time in 25 years. Tried counting calories for the first time. Made a calorie budget and update it with a forecast just like finance. Big motivator is seeing where you will be at a future date at 2lbs lost per week. I record everything I eat but no other limits. I think I've averaged about 1600 calories per day and lost 2lbs per week. I also walk for exercise.

Have lost over 60lbs in prior year. I do have days where I eat up to 3,000 calories but I record it just the same. You can find the calorie content of just about anything now. I think prior to this I was just eating too many calories and not knowing it. I can't go by intuition. Hoping to lose another 30lbs and then maintain. May have to continue recording but allow for more calories. I weigh in once per week but I don't worry if I miss a weigh in. I do notice that if the weight loss stalls it's because my calories have been up recently. But that's better to me than not knowing why.

Good luck. What works for one person may not work for others. It's never easy but it is rewarding to find something that works.

Kalo
"When people say they have a high risk tolerance, what they really mean is that they are willing to make a lot of money." -- Ben Stein/Phil DeMuth - The Little Book of Bullet Proof Investing.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by DesertDiva » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:38 pm

Get a copy of The Beck Diet Solution... it's not a diet, but a behavioral approach (CBT) to beginning any diet program that you choose.

https://www.amazon.com/Beck-Diet-Soluti ... t+Solution

Best wishes! 8-)
♫ Stocks go up ♫ Stocks go down ♫ Stocks go up ♫ Stocks go down ♫

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by CyclingDuo » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:58 pm

One more idea that fulfills the notion of being simple to remember and execute that is often a mantra at MyFitnessPal.com:

"Weight is lost in the kitchen, not the gym!"
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." ~ Steven Wright

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legio XX
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by legio XX » Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:14 pm

OP wants to lose about 15 pounds, about what I lost following this book's plan:

Lawrence J. Cheskin, MD., Losing Weight for Good: Developing Your Personal Plan of Action.

It's been 16 years now, and the weight is still off. Basic, straightforward, portion control diet. Pretty cheap book, too.

This is his professional page: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/profile ... ce-cheskin

If you lose the weight, you may find walking easier, or be motivated to try stuff that's easier on the joints. Any chance you could do more shorter sessions? BTW, are you doing an all-day pedometer count, counting all the steps following the kids around, that everyday stuff adds up. A light upper body workout won't burn many calories, but it helps with the feel better - look better factor.

Good luck,

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by legio XX » Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:49 pm

unclescrooge wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:17 pm
Carful with the ibuprofen. Apparently there is some lifetime max consumption of a few pounds, beyond which it causes kidney failure.
NSAIDs do have their side effects, and age, dose and duration are all things to be concerned about. NSAIDs also relieve pain. I've been taking NSAIDs, OTC and prescribed, for decades. So far, so good, but my doc does keep an eye on it. There are also topical NSAIDs these days (expensive prescription items in the US and moderately priced OTCs in Europe and Mexico).

If you haven't already, this might be the time to consult a sports medicine physician - or someone whose goal is to get and keep you moving. You don't have to be an athlete, just tell them you want to get more exercise and your ankle is causing problems. I swear by hyaluronic acid injections and focused PT when needed. Figuring workarounds to get damaged body parts back in action is what they do, and PT is effective since pain is a great motivator to keep with the program. . . .

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by GoldStar » Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:28 pm

Cycle wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:02 pm
GoldStar wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:51 am
Dontwasteit is not really wrong. When the majority of folks say "I'm going on a on a diet" I don't need to break out a dictionary to know what they really mean is "I'm temporarily modifying my eating habits to lose wait". Compare that to someone that states "I'm making life style changes by changing what I eat and how much exercise is my daily routine." There is usually a mind-set difference with the nuances of these different phrasings that you won't necessarily find in the dictionary.
I don't hang out with overweight people so I never hear of anyone "going on a diet". We do talk about our diet quite a bit though, like ghee vs butter or whether ketosis actually improves focus or why when fasting vision improves.

That's another tip, surround yourself with people who are healthy since we are the average of the 5 people we interact the most with.

The most diet conscious people tend to be rock climbers. I'm not one but the few times I go to a climbing gym there are many a lean folk there.
Okay - this explains why you thought he was wrong - many of us don't pick friends based upon weight so understand the difference between "a diet" and healthy eating.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by spth » Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:36 pm

Separate weight loss and exercise. Exercise to be healthy, eat less to lose weight. I weighed 200lbs at 18. I started running (80-100 miles per week) and immediately lost 25lbs but stayed at 175lbs for 10 years. I stopped running a lot when I got married, but started eating like my wife. I now weigh 157lbs. I was more fit at 175lbs but I weigh less now.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Mr.BB » Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:40 pm

There are a lot of different ways to approach a diet. A diet isnt a bad thing, it means you are willing to give up something, ( junk food, pop, time watching TV to go exercise...etc.) you have to figure out what it is. There are tons of diets, DASH diet, keto diet etc and you'll find people who are successful at all of them. A big factor in weight loss is what are you bringing to your house to eat. If you bring it to your house you're going to eat it, so keep the crap out of your house if you go out and eat some junk food it's just one more step you have to do get in your car to go out versus just open the refrigerator door.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by xb7 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:56 pm

Biggest factor in success (or failure) for me seems to be discipline in my sleep/wake schedule. Will power isn't much of a problem during the day, but I'm inclined to be a night owl. If I stay up too late, maybe watching TV, I get hungry and will power crumbles. So setting and keeping a good schedule is important to me, to include getting to bed before I become convinced that I'm hungry enough that I have to eat something(s).

W.r.t. the discussion about diet vs. exercise, I too come down very much on the diet side of that, just empirically; I'm a long distance hiker, and have had multiple experiences of losing weight while eating as much as I can wolf down --- because I was burning a ton of calories by walking all day, every day. In normal life this just isn't do-able, I'm not going to burn nearly enough calories in an "at home" setting, it's all about limiting my intake.

Yet --- exercise is important. I find that I'll do the diet stuff better and in general everything works better if there's a (sustainable) exercise approach in place.

All things in moderation, I guess!

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Cosmo » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:29 pm

Wow, the moderators must be on vacation. I can't believe this hasn't been locked yet.

In all seriousness, if you are relatively healthy and have good genes, eating a well-balanced diet* is a great way to keep your healthcare costs down as you get older. Stay away from all sugars and processed foods! Limit your carbs to fruits and vegetables only and don't be afraid to eat higher fat, higher protein foods. Stay away from grains and breads whenever possible.

Edit to add: *along with a daily exercise program.

Cosmo

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:45 pm

seligsoj wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:00 pm
Any bogleheads any diet wisdom? I've always been disciplined with saving money but can't seem to apply the same discipline to my diet. I have tried weight watchers, Jenny Craig, beach body, keto, my fitness pal...I lack discipline and get hungry. Just this week I decided to start eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch (all healthy, clean foods) and prepping these meals ahead of time. I love exercising but can't always squeeze it in at night (working full time and have 2 young kids). I'm not terribly overweight but would look and feel better if I lost 15 pounds
Eat a big serving of mixed green or romaine salad (leave off the cheese in case you use it) with minimal salad dressing on it before you eat your main course. How big? 1 pound of it - don't worry, it will fit, it's totally nutritious and you'll find you will have less room for everything else, best of all, it's calorie light and nutrient dense. You will find those pounds flying off of you. Try it for 2 weeks, you'll find you don't miss those other foods.
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Alexa9 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:54 pm

Cutting calories is one way but hunger can be miserable and end in a binge and relapse.
Low carb (Keto/Atkins) seems to work very well without having to starve yourself and works well for people with a lot to lose or people that are addicted to sweets.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by siamond » Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:40 pm

arcticpineapplecorp. wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:56 pm
follow the bogleheads diet:

1 Develop a workable plan
2 exercise early and often
3 Never bear too much or too little pounds
4 Diversify your diet
5 Never try to time the grocery market
6 Use low carb foods when possible
7 Keep stress low
8 Minimize calories
9 cook with simplicity
10 Stay the course (but not the "three course") :happy
Clever! :idea:

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Pigeye Brewster » Fri Jan 11, 2019 11:05 pm

billyo44 wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:13 pm
https://www.drfuhrman.com
Buy his book "Eat to Live".
I can attest this is the way to go...fads/diets just don't work 'long-term'...Lifestyle changes do.
Or watch some of his PBS shows they run during their fundraisers. His approach is excellent.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Elsebet » Fri Jan 11, 2019 11:24 pm

seligsoj wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:00 pm
Any bogleheads any diet wisdom? I've always been disciplined with saving money but can't seem to apply the same discipline to my diet. I have tried weight watchers, Jenny Craig, beach body, keto, my fitness pal...I lack discipline and get hungry. Just this week I decided to start eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch (all healthy, clean foods) and prepping these meals ahead of time. I love exercising but can't always squeeze it in at night (working full time and have 2 young kids). I'm not terribly overweight but would look and feel better if I lost 15 pounds
Don't ever think of it as a diet, instead find a way you can live with permanently to eat less calories than you burn for the rest of your life. I used to track calories religiously, but now just do it off and on just to keep myself disciplined. Some habits I've made for myself:

- I have a big protein/fat packed breakfast (whole milk greek yogurt with ground flax/chia/hemp and berries most workdays, or oatmeal, or eggs on weekends) with a small lunch and small dinner. At dinner I always have a big fresh vegetable salad with balsamic vinegar only along with a small meal.
- Get used to going to bed with an empty stomach, I sleep so much better and breakfast tastes amazing
- Do not give up for the first few weeks, maybe even a month. You WILL be hungry but it takes time and your body will adapt. The portions I used to eat are astounding to me now, I would be miserable to eat what I used to in one sitting.
- When dining out at a sit down place, immediately pack half your meal and take it home for another meal (or two). If at a buffet, limit yourself to one plate.
- Eat an apple and drink a glass of water before eating your main meal, I almost always get full before finishing my food if I do that. Instead of an apple I do this with a salad at dinner.
- Learn to eat single servings. If I crave chips, I have one serving. Cookies, 1 serving. Enjoy it slowly. Never eat out of a bag/box.
- I never buy dessert, if I want one I have to make it. That's how I learned to bake. :)

For exercise, you can do bodyweight fitness at home, here is what I have been doing 3x per week for the last 1.5 years: https://www.reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitn ... ed_routine

The intermittent fasting thing I feel has merit. I try to eat only from 8am-4pm (8 hours) then fast the remaining 16 hours.

I lost about 20lbs so far which doesn't seem like much but I've also but on quite a bit of muscle (42 year old female).
"...the man who adapts himself to his slender means and makes himself wealthy on a little sum, is the truly rich man..." ~Seneca

brajalle
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by brajalle » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:27 am

dm200 wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:31 pm
Focus on:

1. Not a "diet" - but a lifelong eating plan

2. All the things you CAN eat - not on what you cannot

3. Fill up on the good things - and you will not miss the bad
This is really good advice. Much of eating is mental I've found.

Also, look at gradual changes. It's much easier to fall off the wagon when doing a massive change, than it is for smaller things. Pick a good habit or change, and start there. Make it small. Such as - I'm going to limit my soda/coffee intake, I'm cutting back to 1/day for 2 weeks. Then I will go to 2/week. Pick a couple of these. Then keep adding. Over time you will make and integrate continuous improvements into your life/diet, and while it may be slower than a massive change, it will probably make the entire thing less intimidating and potentially more successful.

Also, never let "perfect" be the enemy of "good". Yes, going all grass-fed keto organic superfoods would be wonderful. It could also be expensive and hard to stay on track. I imagine most people would be immensely better off just by substituting in two colored non-organic vegetables a day long-term than in making a short-term change they later fail at. That being said, make sure they're real changes. We're financial types here on this forum, when it comes to improvements sometimes we get giddy over things like a 0.4% ER improvement! Treat your diet like your finances. Don't mentally go for 100% and end up failing. Continually go for 5% chunks and make sure you keep them successfully.

Here are a few of our most impactful changes that came in small doses -
1) We cut down, but did not totally eliminate soda - mostly only for eating out now though. We replaced it with (generic) crystal light at home (we were already huge water drinkers). Crystal light, and artificial sweeteners aren't perfect, but it's certainly much better than soda.
2) We found healthier snack replacements. You don't have to jump straight to kale chips and such. My wife cut down on chocolate and shifted to dark chocolate, I eat exotic vegetable chips (taste alot like regular potato chips btw), jerky, and over time, also substituted in a few common veggie snacks (ie carrot, etc). She went to less and low-carb ice cream. Eventually, we had a much healthier (and cheaper) snack routine.
3) Speaking of green smoothies. They work - great way to boost your veggie intake. Experiment. You'll eventually have a repertoire of good recipes. It's actually a pretty darn good breakfast - very clean feeling and gives a great bit of energy - and in fact - I find I enjoy it more at breakfast than any other time (experiment with times on foods, you may find something similar with yourself). Make sure you drink it fresh IMO - what I actually really enjoy fresh I can't stomach (even refrigerated) after a bit sometimes. Be careful not to make it unhealthy, but also, as I say above, don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
4) Buy one of those egg cookers where you can see like 5 or 6 eggs in the plastic thing that sits on a counter-top. They're amazing. Eggs are a great thing to include in a ton of meals - also make a potential snack.
5) Fruits. They can be very useful. Eat an apple an hour before the meal you find yourself the most hungry prior to (for me it's dinner). It helps blunt the hunger, and thus, the eat-anything food impulse. In addition, after awhile of being lower-carb/sugar, they will start to taste much sweeter. Turn them, mentally, into a bit of a reward - for us they're almost like a dessert at times.
6) Eating out. You're gonna do it. My best advice is - 1) if you have a favorite (I love steak for example), learn to make it at home, and make sure you compare costs. It's really hard for me to justify going out for a steak when its 1/2 as much at home and I enjoy it more. 2) split meals with your spouse - I don't really need a 20oz bone-in ribeye to myself - we'll get 2 salads as our sides and my wife will eat about 6-7 oz of steak and I'll eat the rest. Suddenly, you're eating less, not taking food home to rot in the fridge, still getting the eating out experience, and saving money. As an added bonus, eat an apple at home before going out - or take one on the road with you (they're amazingly portable).

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Cycle
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Cycle » Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:37 am

GoldStar wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:28 pm
Cycle wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:02 pm
GoldStar wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:51 am
Dontwasteit is not really wrong. When the majority of folks say "I'm going on a on a diet" I don't need to break out a dictionary to know what they really mean is "I'm temporarily modifying my eating habits to lose wait". Compare that to someone that states "I'm making life style changes by changing what I eat and how much exercise is my daily routine." There is usually a mind-set difference with the nuances of these different phrasings that you won't necessarily find in the dictionary.
I don't hang out with overweight people so I never hear of anyone "going on a diet". We do talk about our diet quite a bit though, like ghee vs butter or whether ketosis actually improves focus or why when fasting vision improves.

That's another tip, surround yourself with people who are healthy since we are the average of the 5 people we interact the most with.

The most diet conscious people tend to be rock climbers. I'm not one but the few times I go to a climbing gym there are many a lean folk there.
Okay - this explains why you thought he was wrong - many of us don't pick friends based upon weight so understand the difference between "a diet" and healthy eating.
I know what the definition of the word diet is, which is why i find it annoying when folks say diet is bad. dieting works great if you stick with it for months to years.

Also, i'd say i select the people we hang out with based on lifestyle, i don't discriminate against someones body type. It's just certain lifestyles lead to fit people (bike commuters, trail runners, climbers, etc.) and other more sedentary lifestyles tend to lead to being overweight. Thing is, i've never seen an overweight daily bike commuter... they don't exist, at least not in Minnesotas climate.

Trism
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Trism » Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:51 am

bloom2708 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:29 am
Trism wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:49 am
delamer wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 9:30 pm
Trism wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 7:01 pm
300 calories for breakfast. Egg McMuffin.

560 calories for lunch. Big Mac.

900 calories for dinner. Chick-Fil-A sandwich and fries.

Coffee, diet sodas or water to drink.

I lost 40 pounds eating mainly fast food. There are better, more nutritious ways, of course, but it's really easy to keep track of your intake when the calories are printed right on the menu. And it doesn't take a lot of discipline to get all of your food from a drive-through window.
Did you look at the sodium content in addition to the calorie content?
No. I didn't look at sodium or fat. I didn't count carbs. I didn't avoid high-fructose corn syrup or eschew gluten, or even notice if the food had any nutritional value. I didn't check to see if Wendy's mayonnaise was higher in antioxidants than Burger King's. I didn't buy yoga pants. I didn't fill in the blank, I just lost 40 pounds using calorie info and math.
This worked to lose the weight. What did you do to maintain the weight loss?

This high sodium diet worked in the short run, but in the long run it won't work because you'll be dead of heart disease of some sort.

You have a "two body" problem. 1. How do you lose the weight? There are tons of tricks/gimmicks to do this. 2. How do you maintain your ideal weight over the long haul? This is far tougher. Someone might lose 500 pounds in a year. -10, +10, -10, +10.

If I drink coconut oil for breakfast and eat an avacado for lunch and then have 26 oz of steak for supper (meat only) that might just get you to lose all the weight. Then you return to "normal" eating. The weight slowly comes back. Or maybe quickly comes back.

Very complicated topic. If you can figure out #1 and #2 you can stay at or near your goal weight for the long haul.
This is a laughably simple topic if you will allow it to be.

Nine years later 34 of the 40 pounds are still gone. I cook at home a lot more and continue adding up the calories in what I eat, but now I'm now more likely to write down "grilled pork loin chop" than "McRib."

At the same time I lost all of that weight I also quit smoking cigarettes (2+ packs a day toward the end). I couldn't have done that without Chantix and Wellbutrin, both of which also introduced new and different risks and issues. I don't regret that either.

I lost weight eating garbage and quit smoking by taking drugs. Both very simple, and both very effective for someone who isn't particularly disciplined. No one will convince me that I am not better off.

I get a physical every year and last had routine lab work done on 12/28/18. There are no signs of imminent death because I ate a lot of onion rings in 2009.

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by VictoriaF » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:05 am

JaneyLH wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:31 pm
VictoriaF wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:11 pm
The key to success is not a greater willpower but complete avoidance.

If you decide to limit alcohol, don't keep any alcohol at home and have it only when you go out.
If you decide to limit junk food, don't keep any junk at home. None.
If you are trying keto, get rid of all carbs. All of them.

Victoria
My own experience has been that my desire for sugary and starchy foods greatly diminished after just 2 or 3 days of eliminating them. My husband loves carbs and can metabolize them without gaining weight, so to remove carbs from the house would be inconsiderate. I usually make a carbohydrate side dish for him to supplement what I make for myself — and often add extra fat such as cheese, sour cream, nuts, or avocado to my meal. Works great!
As this works for you it's great.

For others in a similar situation I suggest a thought experiment:
If your spouse were an alcoholic and you liked to have a moderate amount of alcohol, would you insist on keeping alcohol at home?

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by VictoriaF » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:09 am

Trism wrote:
Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:51 am
This is a laughably simple topic if you will allow it to be.
No, it is not a simple topic. Weight and appetite are largely controlled by hormones. See for example, "9 Proven Ways to Fix The Hormones That Control Your Weight" https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/9- ... t-hormones .

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

Trism
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Trism » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:11 am

VictoriaF wrote:
Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:09 am
Trism wrote:
Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:51 am
This is a laughably simple topic if you will allow it to be.
No, it is not a simple topic. Weight and appetite are largely controlled by hormones. See for example, "9 Proven Ways to Fix The Hormones That Control Your Weight" https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/9- ... t-hormones .

Victoria
That article concludes with "Fortunately, diet and lifestyle changes can have powerful effects on these hormones."

Norsky19
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Norsky19 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:12 am

seligsoj wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:00 pm
Any bogleheads any diet wisdom? I've always been disciplined with saving money but can't seem to apply the same discipline to my diet. I have tried weight watchers, Jenny Craig, beach body, keto, my fitness pal...I lack discipline and get hungry. Just this week I decided to start eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch (all healthy, clean foods) and prepping these meals ahead of time. I love exercising but can't always squeeze it in at night (working full time and have 2 young kids). I'm not terribly overweight but would look and feel better if I lost 15 pounds
you describe me....I love to lift weights but just 30 min. ago found myself making a plate of nachos. I wasn't that hungry. Wish I were rich and had a personal chef to make every meal...when I cook for myself it's pretty pathetic. I read that food addictions particularly starchy foods are as addictive as crack cocaine. I get it. I'll never disparage someone who can't quit smoking ever again when I can't stop eating :?

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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by david99 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:39 am

shell921 wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:35 pm
My husband was 32 pounds overweight and he lost it without going hungry!

Go to:

https://www.drmcdougall.com/

to read and learn about Dr McDougall's way of eating. Healthy carbs are good for us.

THIS IS WHAT DR MC DOUGALL SAYS ABOUT CARBS:

Under usual living situations carbohydrates do not turn into body fat. Rather than being stored, excess carbohydrate calories are burned off as body heat, eliminated through the lungs and skin. Only by consuming very large amounts of refined flours and simple sugars will the body resort to converting carbohydrate into fat, a process called de novo lipogenesis. Fructose, often present as high fructose corn syrup and found in sodas and candies, is an exception in that this one form of simple carbohydrate is easily converted into body fat. Otherwise, think: “Carbohydrates found in rice, potatoes, broccoli and bananas will keep me thin and healthy—just like they do for people living in Asia and Peru.”

He wrote a book called "The Starch Solution" but on his website he tells you everything you need to know for free.


My dear friend [ I'll call her "Gloria"] always struggles with weight. She goes to weight watchers, counts calories etc.
She was telling me that going vegan is not the best way to lose weight.
I replied that right, going vegan is not only way to lose weight by any means.
it's just the holy grail of weight loss !! I said if you go the starch/plant based way
of eating you stick with it because you don't get hungry and you lose cravings
for fat because you down regulate your fat receptors. on the mc dougall way
of eating there is no counting calories or points. who wants to go through life
counting points
every time you eat? on mc dougall you eat until
satisfied then stop.
from the "allowed" foods. simple.

The great thing about the McDougall plan is that you get to
eat a lot more FOOD so you are not hungry all the time!
I didn't want my husband to be hungry or feel deprived. That is why I picked dr mcdougall's way of eating for him and me.

If you're eating typical American diet you have to work REALLY REALLY HARD not to gain weight.
Everyone overestimates the calories they're eating. If you cut out oil, dairy, meat, eggs & sugar
& processed foods & you cut down on nuts & breads you can eat all the live long day--and never gain weight.
Well, almost never.

Dr John McDougall's STARCH/plant way of eating is great. No counting calories, no weighing anything, no hunger,
no strict excercise regimen, and Eat 'till full. Then stop. it's really a way of life and not a diet.

My I remember that Gloria kept telling me the food I fixed is not very simple but she was wrong. SOME of the recipes
I sometimes make are "fancy" but mostly I cook simple.

VERY simple. But varied too! How about simple variety! 2-3 starches, like potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, or grains.
For veggies, there are a ton of frozen veggie mixes already chopped up and ready to heat
(green and yellow veggies, leafy greens, less dense starches, etc...)
Or fresh veggies cut & steamed in the basket with the rice/grains and perhaps some beans as well.
Soups are simple foods and we have soup almost every day. Oatmeal is so simple --the way I make it-- and it's fabulously good & healthy.
A salad and an oil free dressing is not much trouble.

And of course a few different fruits is nice - you can simply eat as they are.

So that's it--potatoes, rice, other grains, oats, veggies, beans soups & fruits. Nothing simpler.

Simple and a variety too !! Simple to prepare and eat, a variety of real food goodness.


Speaking of foods and simple foods. Human beings simply didn't evolve w/ much variety. They were more or less in the
same place their whole lives (within at most a few hundred miles, and that's a stretch), and there were no planes or fridges
to bring in exotic foods. Obviously until the last 1000 years or so people ate only what was right there, period--seasonal fruits and veggies,
root veggies that could be stored, small amounts of meat. Very little variety.

Once we got into the last millenium, the very rich (a very small number of people) could afford to get things brought in on ships from
far away--spices, some exotic foods that could be dried--but there still wasn't much.

It is only very recently that variety entered our lives--like the last century from 1950 onward. And it's no coincidence that that's precisely when
Americans started to get fatter and sicker!

Seeking out variety means seeking out difference and "better" tastes. We're more likely to overeat on such things.

Sticking w/ more or less the same things is probably healthier and it's definitely the way to avoid gaining weight.

No counting calories, points, carbs, or GI scores, no necessity for special formulas or foods, and no starving oneself.
And for weight loss/maintenance, it's the holy grail.

I have found that the simpler the better. Since mc dougall is a whole foods way of eating all you have to do is learn to cook foods whole.

Fruits and many veggies can be eaten raw. Other veggies steam lightly, boil, or bake.
Potatoes, boil or bake.
Grains (oats, rice, barley, quinoa, etc), soak and then boil. Or just boil.
Beans, soak, then boil.
Whole wheat pasta, boil.
Soup: take a variety of the above ingredients, put in a pot of water, boil.

I have found that the simpler I prepare my food the more satisfying it is.

If you can bake a potato and boil a pot on the stove you have all the skills you need to get by.


I think people can get caught up in the idea that they have to have interesting, time consuming recipes all
the time. My motto: There's nothing wrong with very simple, plain food -in fact it is best!

Many people assume "carbs make you fat", but look at carb eating people around the world, especially Asians who consume more calories than Americans per day and most of them are from rice, yet they are trimmer and fitter. Our bodies don't treat all calories equally. Fat consumed is almost stored in its entirety for the next famine. Protein is a building component, during infancy when we need the most protein we drink breast milk, which is 6% protein. The average adult needs about 4%. Protein is ACID, amino acids, and diets focused on protein result in bone minerals being dissolved away by the high acid load of a protein based diet.
You want to eat potatoes, rice, and tons of veggies, steamed, boiled, baked or raw. Season with your favorite spices and sauces provided there is no OIL and the sugar is low. This will force your body to BURN fat because whole foods take time to turn to energy.

http://www.thehealthyvegans.com/p/what- ... onUkyg_Pdk
The Starch Solution is excellent. You can eat as much as you want and lose weight.

roscoe88
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by roscoe88 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:41 am

Cut 95 percent of the sugar out of your diet and I guarantee you'll feel like a new man. I did and haven't felt better in my life. A body only needs a fraction of the sweets an average American consumes. Good luck

Shallowpockets
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Re: Disciplined with finances, but not so with diet

Post by Shallowpockets » Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:38 am

This whole debate is crazy. Without the discipline none of it matters.
The OP says he has no discipline. With all the disparate views posted here he may only see it as a diversion to actually starting to work on his weight loss.

OPs original post has to do with discipline and the replies have not focused on that, but have diverted into a battle between diet and exercise. Discipline comes out of motivation, and perhaps people should post how a person can be motivated.
Why wouldn't someone try both diet and exercise at the same time. It is not rocket science.
This thread should be locked.

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