Anyone else not enjoy going out?

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AerialWombat
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by AerialWombat » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:25 pm

“The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.”

megabad
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by megabad » Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:09 pm

s8r wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:10 am
Old thread, but I find it interesting.

I am about 30 now. When I was in my late teens and early 20s going to bars and clubs was kind of OK, but I often found myself thinking "wish I was home sleeping" for that brief moment while staring the wall above the urinal.

I also do not enjoy socializing with people who do not share any of my interests. This unfortunately includes practically all my relatives.

But when I meet people who are like-minded, I could talk for hours. I transform from an introvert into an extrovert. Science, technology, movies, investing, those are things that I find fascinating.
Sometimes the other people who you do not think share your interests are really just introverts that have not revealed that they enjoy your limited edition C3PO figurine just as much as you do. Or maybe they enjoy thread necro as well ( :D ). Sometimes I find I have to whip out my extrovert to bring introverts together. In my own life, I do find that I get substantially more tired substantially earlier the older I get, but I still enjoy spending time in unruly places with friends, family, and colleagues.
thechoson wrote:
Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:04 pm
Seems like I am getting antisocial as I get older (though I'm only 29). But I increasingly dislike and find it a chore to go out to crowded places.

I don't know if it's my imagination, but people seem to be getting ruder by the day.

I just cannot stand going to crowded places like sporting events, malls, and theme parks anymore.

I do enjoy going to quieter for out of the way places for recreation though.
Curious if OP's views have changed now in mid 30s?

staythecourse
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by staythecourse » Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:37 pm

I thought I was the only one.

I HATE going out just to go out and hand out with folks I don't really enjoy. Love to go out with my wife and hang out with couple friends we really are friends with.

Luckily for me my wife is slowly becoming a house body herself so I have more then enough company.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

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beyou
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by beyou » Tue Dec 04, 2018 6:54 pm

AerialWombat wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:25 pm
“The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.”
Don't have a dog and I agree :-)

heyyou
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by heyyou » Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:00 pm

"He found that he liked most books better than he liked most people."
My sister, the bibliophile, read that somewhere, and passed it along to me.

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tooluser
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by tooluser » Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:33 pm

I believe the correct term for what most people are talking about is "asocial", not "anti-social". Without, not against.

Loud bars are horrible, music or sports. There always seems to be one guy at the sports bar for whom every play or at bat or goal is just absolutely the most important and amazing thing that has ever occurred in the world, and he has the 140 dB shoutbox to prove it to everyone, again and again and again. I never see that at actual sporting events.

"Quiet", by Susan Cain is a great read to learn about introverts, at least the first half of the book is. There are numerous life and business situations discussed that will resonate highly with introverts. The second half is more about how to compensate in a world driven by "the extrovert ideal", perhaps very useful early in life or career.
"A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness." -- Albert Einstein, just before he won the Nobel Prize.

Atilla
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by Atilla » Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:42 pm

Back in the day when smoking was allowed in bars and music consisted of a jukebox running through some extra speakers you could go out with friends and fire up a skunky fatty in the tobacco stench and talk with a good music background. You can't do that anymore. Not that I would anymore anyway. :sharebeer
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ssquared87
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by ssquared87 » Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:44 pm

Interesting thread and I feel similar. I'm 31 and have much less desire to be in crowded or noisy places. When I go out with friends/family, I prefer going to places which are conducive to conversation like a nice restaurant or something like that. When my friends want to go to bars and such, I just stay home. I have nothing against drinking, but going to an overcrowded place to stare at my friends and not be able to hear a damn thing of what their saying seems pointless to me.

I do like going to concerts sometimes, but living in LA, they are far less enjoyable compared to other cities. When I lived in NYC, Seattle, and London, going to a concert was easy...just take the subway or walk or a cab to the venue and have a fun time. Getting into MSG was always fairly easy and while it was crowded, it wasn't a terrible experience.

In LA, just getting to the venue fighting traffic destroys the experience. Then once you get there you need to park and take a shuttle to the venue. Then at the venue, people are mind numbingly stupid and stand around like lost cattle getting in the way of entrances etc. So getting to an event in LA is a 3 hour excruciating process and I can't handle it.

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VictoriaF
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by VictoriaF » Tue Dec 04, 2018 10:10 pm

What is the definition of "going out"?

Is it not being at home?
Or
Is it going to a restaurant or a bar?

Does "going out" imply being with other people?
Does it imply being with people you know?

Here in the metropolitan D.C. area there are numerous opportunities not to be at home. They do not involve eating or drinking, and cover a wide range of arts, culture, literature, philosophy, science, economics, politics, and cyber space issues.

I enjoy attending many of these events. But I don't go out for the sake of "going out."

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

sassy_penguin
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by sassy_penguin » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:46 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 10:10 pm
What is the definition of "going out"?

Is it not being at home?
Or
Is it going to a restaurant or a bar?

Does "going out" imply being with other people?
Does it imply being with people you know?

Here in the metropolitan D.C. area there are numerous opportunities not to be at home. They do not involve eating or drinking, and cover a wide range of arts, culture, literature, philosophy, science, economics, politics, and cyber space issues.

I enjoy attending many of these events. But I don't go out for the sake of "going out."

Victoria
Any blogs or tips or specific places you go to find these opportunities in D.C.?

squirm
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by squirm » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:29 am

Wife and I never liked going out, we'd rather stay in and hang out at home. Generally we've said the same thing, as we get older we noticed we don't like being around other people.

core4portfolio
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by core4portfolio » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:48 am

we are not since my kid is running all over.
We just do take out or delivery. pizza mostly
Allocation : 80/20 (80% TSM, 20% TBM) | Need to learn fishing sooner

stoptothink
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by stoptothink » Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:24 am

I have some built-in excuses: demanding job, 2 young kids, a wife who also has a demanding job and is a full-time student (so I handle the brunt of household responsibilities), and my job demands I stay in really good shape so I spend a lot of time working out. Furthermore, I regularly have to represent my company in very social settings; turning "it" on totally wears me out. Going out has never been my thing, from the age of 16 to 30 I was in school full-time and working full-time, partly because I had a goal of completing my education debt-free, but also I didn't feel like I was missing anything socially. My wife somehow manages to balance work/school/parenting/exercise and go see a movie or go shopping with her friends maybe a day every other week, I can count on one hand the number of times I've "gone out" without my wife and kids in the past 5yrs and (as far as I can remember) every one of those occasions was meeting up with my best friend (who lives on the other side of the country) for a workout when he was randomly in town.

We "go out" virtually every day, even in the snow, but it is parks, the library, local museums, just riding our bikes around town...and I spend a lot of time in my garage gym.

MisterMister
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by MisterMister » Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:32 am

s8r wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:10 am
I am about 30 now. When I was in my late teens and early 20s going to bars and clubs was kind of OK, but I often found myself thinking "wish I was home sleeping" for that brief moment while staring the wall above the urinal.
Haha, that's funny.

As the original poster stated, it does seem people are ruder and more self-centered, less interested in any form of social interaction with strangers. It does vary depending on where you are, though, I find people in the south are far more friendly and interactive than those in the midwest or the east.

But more obnoxious than that for me is facing the new reality: that a lot of people in public are spending 90% of their time staring at their phones. This is the new way of avoiding social interaction in elevators, doctors' offices, you name it. I find myself doing it almost as a defensive mechanism. Very unhealthy all around.

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VictoriaF
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by VictoriaF » Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:38 am

sassy_penguin wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:46 pm
VictoriaF wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 10:10 pm
What is the definition of "going out"?

Is it not being at home?
Or
Is it going to a restaurant or a bar?

Does "going out" imply being with other people?
Does it imply being with people you know?

Here in the metropolitan D.C. area there are numerous opportunities not to be at home. They do not involve eating or drinking, and cover a wide range of arts, culture, literature, philosophy, science, economics, politics, and cyber space issues.

I enjoy attending many of these events. But I don't go out for the sake of "going out."

Victoria
Any blogs or tips or specific places you go to find these opportunities in D.C.?
  • - Arts: Smithsonian museums
    - Culture: I used a general term. I am particularly interested in foreign cultures and attend embassy events. You can go to web sites of specific embassies and sign for their email lists. Wilson center hosts some cultural events. Washington has several good theaters and hosts several film festivals.
    - Literature: A bookstore "Politics and Prose" hosts bestselling authors on their new-book tours. It also hosts several book clubs.
    - Philosophy: Café Philo; lectures and seminars for Smithsonian Associates
    - Science: Philosophical Society of Washington; lectures and seminars for Smithsonian Associates
    - Economics: Think tanks such as Brookings, Cato
    - Politics: Think tanks such as Brookings, Cato, CSIS, Wilson Center
    - Cyber space: I am particularly interested in cyber security and attend events by the FTC, CSIS, and DHS[
Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

smitcat
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by smitcat » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:21 am

We love to go out - not to bars expect in rare occasions but there is so much to do outside of our home.
When we fully retire we will likely 'go out' even more.

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Just sayin...
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by Just sayin... » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:07 pm

Since retirement, we go out Monday through Thursday nights in order to avoid crows and screaming kids - although Tuesday is sometimes “taco Tuesday with my buddies”. Friday and Saturday nights are, repectively, salad night and movie night (Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc.). Sunday nights are reserved for DW and I to prepare a nice dinner together. Seems to work pretty well for us with reduced crowds and some deals that can be found.

theplayer11
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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by theplayer11 » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:20 pm

I hate small talk,and to be honest most people bore me...I realize that's not good, but it's true

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Re: Anyone else not enjoy going out?

Post by LadyGeek » Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:05 pm

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