How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

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LarryAllen
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by LarryAllen » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:10 pm

I would hope to leave each kid at least $1m. Really though what's $1m 50 years from now!?

RudyS
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by RudyS » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:18 pm

Sheepdog wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:56 pm
Assuming we haven't needed to spend it, especially for health and long term care, we have willed our 2 sons half each of our Roth IRAs (tax free for them) and half each of our I Bonds (about $200K at present). We have willed our traditional IRAs and our house to charities. Anything else of value will be given to our children. (no grandchildren, darn it).
Yes, they have been advised and are fine with this.
Sheepdog, I know that you know better, but for any newbies, it should be stated that you can't "will" anyone parts or all of IRAs. The beneficiary statements on the IRAs override anything in a will.

RudyS
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by RudyS » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:22 pm

NotWhoYouThink wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 2:47 pm
They'll get what we don't manage to spend. Our lifestyle probably won't change much, although a little spending creep if the markets are kind to us wouldn't be a bad thing.

Our biggest gift to them will be our ability to support ourselves with no need for them to budget for our care. Our second greatest gift will be to start planning now to hire the help and make the life changes required to stay independent as long as possible, instead of being "independent." "Independent" is the condition where you pretend you are taking care of yourselves, but your kids are running themselves ragged managing your care.
Same for us. Had been keeping a lot aside for possible LTC, but current plans to join a continuing care retirement community ( CCRC ) would hopefully leave a lot left over for our kids.

fourwheelcycle
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by fourwheelcycle » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:24 pm

delamer wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:49 pm
fourwheelcycle wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 2:54 pm
I wanted to leave half to our children and half to charity. My wife wanted to leave everything to our children. We ultimately agreed to leave 75% to our children and 25% to charity.
Just wanted to say how impressed I am that you and your wife were able to agree to split the difference, so to speak. Not all couples work together that well.
Thanks, and the good news is after 43 years we are still married!

We made this agreement as we were preparing to combine our savings in a joint revocable trust and I pointed out to her the first of us to die would be at the total mercy of the survivor to implement our children vs. charity intentions.

helloeveryone
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by helloeveryone » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:26 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:31 pm
What my perfect situation is to set up some charity to give away money each year and they can have a set salary to administer that charity. That way they make some extra money by WORKING and hopefully lets them see the benefits of helping those less fortunate.

Good luck.
As another poster mentioned this is controlling and may not play to their strengths and life circumstances. What if the children have good career paths, maybe married w children, and in their current state of life are just not in a position where they can say you know what, let me tack on running my parent’s charity now and drop what I’m doing or sacrifice family time or career progress to run this charity.
Having said that you know your family best so that might be the best way for you to pass on your wealth and your children will greatly appreciate it and be able to run with it.

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Sheepdog
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Sheepdog » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:42 pm

rgs92 wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:33 pm
Don' t forget to leave something to your pets. They can't earn their own way after you're gone.
Good. Actually our pets are in our will and who will take care of them.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter which tells what kind of life you have lived---Helen Walton

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Sheepdog
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Sheepdog » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:46 pm

RudyS wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:18 pm

Sheepdog, I know that you know better, but for any newbies, it should be stated that you can't "will" anyone parts or all of IRAs. The beneficiary statements on the IRAs override anything in a will.
Good point. Yes, of course I understand that. "Willing" is just a term to meaning who gets what.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter which tells what kind of life you have lived---Helen Walton

bluelight
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by bluelight » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:50 pm

DH and I married 5 years ago, second marriage for both. We had however been together for a long time prior to marriage.

I have 1 child, he has 3. All are adults. We drew up wills shortly after getting married and decided that as I came into the marriage with 1/3 the assets and he came in with 2/3, the kids inheritance will be split the same. My child will get 1/3, his 3 will split 2/3.

My daughter and his daughter are co-executors. It seemed the most equatable way to split any inheritance.

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Ged
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Ged » Tue Nov 06, 2018 11:02 pm

Wife and I are about 70. Net worth excluding value of pensions and SS is about $2M.

We expect that pensions and SS will support us in comfort except possibly for some EOL care.

The two children will get what is left when we are gone, hopefully no time soon.

msk
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by msk » Wed Nov 07, 2018 12:41 am

Since I am invested in 100% stocks ETFs worldwide I expect that my portfolio ought to at least keep up with inflation forever. From that I hope to have each kid inherit $1+million real terms, nothing to charity, nothing to grandkids. I have already taken care of charitable giving by an endowment to my alma mater (actually the same alma mater for my spouse, all 4 kids and even a son-in-law!); running smoothly for a few years already. Because the eldest kids already have kids of their own and thus growing financial commitments, I have decided to gift all my kids substantial monthly gifts (well over minimum wage) so that hopefully none are anxiously awaiting the old geezer to croak :annoyed

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by harrychan » Wed Nov 07, 2018 1:02 am

Great read.

My parents weren't good with saving. They didn't have any debt but also didn't plan for retirement. M kids will get whatever we don't spend. Our NW is north of $1.2m and we are in our late 30s so I expect it to be a respectable amount. I plan on supporting them through college and possibly help them with their wedding and their first homes.
This is not legal or certified financial advice but you know that already.

SQRT
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by SQRT » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:03 am

yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:49 pm
SQRT wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:38 pm
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:09 pm
My plan is to Die Broke!
Joking right? Pretty difficult to do this unless you don’t have a portfolio/other assets/annuitize everything or know with certainty your date of demise?
Nope. Adult children are doing very well financially. They do not need my money.
I understand your intent. But how are you actually going to do this? If you can live on your pensions in retirement or if your portfolio is relatively small, it would be easier, but if you rely on your portfolio for cash flow in retirement it would be much more difficult. Wouldn’t it?

SQRT
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by SQRT » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:12 am

TravelforFun wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 7:48 pm
SQRT wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:38 pm
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:09 pm
My plan is to Die Broke!
Joking right? Pretty difficult to do this unless you don’t have a portfolio/other assets/annuitize everything or know with certainty your date of demise?
Pretty easy to do. Take all your money and buy a SPIA. They send you payments monthly and when you die, the payments stop.

TravelforFun
Right. I mentioned that in my response but is that really how those with this plan will actually do it? I highly doubt it.

I think it’s more likely people have no plans to leave a significant inheritance and simply say “my plan is to die broke”. When in reality they really don’t have much of a plan at all and will just carry on and see how it goes? I could be wrong of course.

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Rick Ferri
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Rick Ferri » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:34 am

They already have their inheritance - a fully-paid college education.

It was up to them to do something useful with it, and they have.

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The Education of an Index Investor: born in darkness, finds indexing enlightenment, overcomplicates everything, embraces simplicity.

shell921
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by shell921 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:47 am

RudyS wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:18 pm
Sheepdog wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:56 pm
Assuming we haven't needed to spend it, especially for health and long term care, we have willed our 2 sons half each of our Roth IRAs (tax free for them) and half each of our I Bonds (about $200K at present). We have willed our traditional IRAs and our house to charities. Anything else of value will be given to our children. (no grandchildren, darn it).
Yes, they have been advised and are fine with this.
Sheepdog, I know that you know better, but for any newbies, it should be stated that you can't "will" anyone parts or all of IRAs. The beneficiary statements on the IRAs override anything in a will.
What about if your IRA is in your trust as mine is?

staythecourse
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by staythecourse » Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:09 am

helloeveryone wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:26 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:31 pm
What my perfect situation is to set up some charity to give away money each year and they can have a set salary to administer that charity. That way they make some extra money by WORKING and hopefully lets them see the benefits of helping those less fortunate.

Good luck.
As another poster mentioned this is controlling and may not play to their strengths and life circumstances. What if the children have good career paths, maybe married w children, and in their current state of life are just not in a position where they can say you know what, let me tack on running my parent’s charity now and drop what I’m doing or sacrifice family time or career progress to run this charity.
Having said that you know your family best so that might be the best way for you to pass on your wealth and your children will greatly appreciate it and be able to run with it.
As I mentioned before I'll just leave a stipulation that they can just just remove themselves from running the charity. It will go to the next person who may be interested. So no big deal.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

plumberboy
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by plumberboy » Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:13 am

bengal22 wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 2:44 pm
Current plan is to leave 90% to kids and about 10% to church and perhaps other charities.
+1

soundwave
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by soundwave » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:21 am

I have been blessed with a good work ethic & a "figure out a way" approach to life, given to me by my parents. I have raised my kids the same way. It took one a bit longer to embrace the "live on less than than what you make" lifestyle, but he's making up for lost time now & is now doing quite well financially.

I intend to fully enjoy my retirement however I'm quite certain there will be at least mid 6 figures going to each child upon my passing. I have also arranged for smaller sums to go to a few extended family members, as well as to a charity that I currently support. Each of these beneficiaries are responsible with money & are raising their children in the same manner.

In short, I have absolutely no doubt that any money passed along will be used wisely. I believe in giving with no strings attached & it, of course, will be ultimately up to them how they utilize my gift...even if it's for a vacation of a lifetime:-)
Be the change...

Soon2BXProgrammer
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Soon2BXProgrammer » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:32 am

ThankYouJack wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:04 pm
I'm curious, especially for those with assets (or planned assets) over $1million. Do you plan to leave your kids nothing, some or everything?
i'll give it to them. but my goal is to give them as many assets after they become successful in life before i die... why wait on me dieing?

basspond
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by basspond » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:44 am

Whatever we have left, ours will be over 2 commas. Just like my mom will and her parents did before. Our family’s philosophy is to make your children’s life better then yours. But we also raised our children to be religious, generous, savers, and thrifty, in that order.

Cartographer
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Cartographer » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:22 am

With our first child coming next year, this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. All I can say at this point is that it will be somewhere between 0% and 100%.

On the 0% side: we plan on giving our child everything they need to succeed on their own. They shouldn't need any money from us when we die, and there will be many out there who would benefit from it
On the >0% side: of course the un-expected may happen, and it would be nice for our kid has a safety net they can rely on.

delamer
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by delamer » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:30 am

Maybe the best answer to the original question is:

“I am going to spend my money as I see fit, and anything left when I am gone will go to the people and causes that I care about.”

SaveStrong
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by SaveStrong » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:33 am

downshiftme wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 4:59 pm
1st Generation works hard, earns it, saves, invests, etc.
2nd Generation can have a decent idea of the work their parents put into it, and then they try to preserve/maintain it.
3rd Generation learns how to blow it and leaves nothing behind.
Hasn't worked that way in practice for us:
1st generation (my parents) worked hard and saved an invested a bundle. They still have it.

2nd generation (my siblings and I) worked hard to earn and save for ourselves, and it's a good thing we did as we are nearing retirement age and parents are still alive using their money

3rd generation is graduated from college and in the early stages of their careers and they are making their own way, as well they should since the two generations before them are still alive and still using their own money.

Eventually there may be some inheritances in the future, but no one is counting on any of it, as well they shouldn't.
Similar experience...
1st generation (grandparents) - hard workers/savers. Help kids and grandkids (me) but don’t spend enough on themselves. Live off pension and social security. Everyone encourages them to spend more to make life easier / more fun. Likely legacy.

2nd generation (parents) - hard workers / savers. Dad passed few years and now mom has “more” than needs. Encouraging her to spend more as well. Also lives off pension and social security. Legacy likely.

3rd generation (me) - hard worker / saver. Housing and childcare biggest expense but NW just shy of $1M (excluding home equity) at mid-thirties. Want to continue this tradition of supporting future so already setting up things for our kid.

Why not make it easier for future generations on things like school and other major milestones? Really surprised by the number of “die broke” responses given general forum sentiments.
Last edited by SaveStrong on Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

RudyS
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by RudyS » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:15 am

shell921 wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:47 am
RudyS wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:18 pm
Sheepdog wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:56 pm
Assuming we haven't needed to spend it, especially for health and long term care, we have willed our 2 sons half each of our Roth IRAs (tax free for them) and half each of our I Bonds (about $200K at present). We have willed our traditional IRAs and our house to charities. Anything else of value will be given to our children. (no grandchildren, darn it).
Yes, they have been advised and are fine with this.
Sheepdog, I know that you know better, but for any newbies, it should be stated that you can't "will" anyone parts or all of IRAs. The beneficiary statements on the IRAs override anything in a will.
What about if your IRA is in your trust as mine is?
I do not know the details of that situation. Here's what I found on the web: "A: You cannot put your IRA in a trust while you are living. You can, however, name a trust as the beneficiary of your IRA and dictate how the assets are to be handled after your death. This applies to all types of IRAs, including traditional, Roth, SEP and SIMPLE IRAs."

JackoC
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by JackoC » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:15 am

Irisheyes wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 8:48 pm
GerryL wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 8:45 pm

"Leave enough for them to do something. Don't leave enough for them to do nothing."
That aphorism has become kind of a meaningless cliche. If we were all going to pop our clogs when our kids were in their 20s or 30s, it might have some relevance. Since most of us are not, i don't find it that useful or insightful.
I agree, that might be relevant if the level of wealth is such that you'd be talking about trust fund distributions to young people that could substitute for having a job. It's rare for people to actually be able to do that, and very rare IME for them to actually do if they made the money themselves, the parents I mean. Whether that's even common in multi-generation wealth aside from fiction and 'reality' TV, I also doubt. In the real situation in the great majority of cases the issue is more or less (or perhaps no) subsidy of kid's lives in younger adult years, but not anywhere near the point of making employment optional from kids' POV given their expectations, then a potentially much bigger inheritance actuarially expected when kids are in late middle age (late 50's to mid 60's for our kids assuming the Social Security actuarial table, so real expected date probably even later).

There could be exceptions where somebody has such distorted motivations they actually plan their life around an inheritance at that age, but I guess that's rare. And I also guess anecdotes of 'people I know' like that it's a relatively small inheritance in a generally not well off family. In real life lack of money tends to beget lack of money, money tends to beget money. I think the worry about money inhibiting family future success is mainly an invented supposed 'silver lining' to not having money.

seity
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by seity » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:18 am

yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:09 pm
My plan is to Die Broke!
Glad to see I'm not the only one. :D

yousha
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by yousha » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:23 am

SQRT wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:03 am
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:49 pm
SQRT wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:38 pm
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:09 pm
My plan is to Die Broke!
Joking right? Pretty difficult to do this unless you don’t have a portfolio/other assets/annuitize everything or know with certainty your date of demise?
Nope. Adult children are doing very well financially. They do not need my money.
I understand your intent. But how are you actually going to do this? If you can live on your pensions in retirement or if your portfolio is relatively small, it would be easier, but if you rely on your portfolio for cash flow in retirement it would be much more difficult. Wouldn’t it?
Simple. I will live as I please with my 7 figures that I have accumulated over the years and spend as I want to achieve maximum gratification. If by chance anything is left over it would do to charity.

couch1
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by couch1 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Something we have been considering is giving anything we inherit from our parents to our kids directly to go towards their retirement. And then leaving our estate to their kids to go towards their retirement. If followed through on it could setup generations to be taken care of in each of their retirement.

If I receive $200k from my parents when I am 55, its not going to move the needle by much. But if my two kids each receive $100k at age 20, it should be a good start to a secure retirement.

Life becomes a little easier if you don't have to worry about retirement savings, but it isn't too easy.

Of course it all breaks down if a future generation is selfish and doesn't pay it forward or if they take the money and spend it on something else.

SQRT
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by SQRT » Wed Nov 07, 2018 3:32 pm

yousha wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:23 am
SQRT wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:03 am
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:49 pm
SQRT wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:38 pm
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:09 pm
My plan is to Die Broke!
Joking right? Pretty difficult to do this unless you don’t have a portfolio/other assets/annuitize everything or know with certainty your date of demise?
Nope. Adult children are doing very well financially. They do not need my money.
I understand your intent. But how are you actually going to do this? If you can live on your pensions in retirement or if your portfolio is relatively small, it would be easier, but if you rely on your portfolio for cash flow in retirement it would be much more difficult. Wouldn’t it?
Simple. I will live as I please with my 7 figures that I have accumulated over the years and spend as I want to achieve maximum gratification. If by chance anything is left over it would do to charity.
So you aren’t actually trying to die broke. Rather give your legacy to charity rather than your heirs? I can see that would be much easier to do.

SQRT
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by SQRT » Wed Nov 07, 2018 3:35 pm

JackoC wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:15 am
Irisheyes wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 8:48 pm
GerryL wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 8:45 pm

"Leave enough for them to do something. Don't leave enough for them to do nothing."
That aphorism has become kind of a meaningless cliche. If we were all going to pop our clogs when our kids were in their 20s or 30s, it might have some relevance. Since most of us are not, i don't find it that useful or insightful.
I agree, that might be relevant if the level of wealth is such that you'd be talking about trust fund distributions to young people that could substitute for having a job. It's rare for people to actually be able to do that, and very rare IME for them to actually do if they made the money themselves, the parents I mean. Whether that's even common in multi-generation wealth aside from fiction and 'reality' TV, I also doubt. In the real situation in the great majority of cases the issue is more or less (or perhaps no) subsidy of kid's lives in younger adult years, but not anywhere near the point of making employment optional from kids' POV given their expectations, then a potentially much bigger inheritance actuarially expected when kids are in late middle age (late 50's to mid 60's for our kids assuming the Social Security actuarial table, so real expected date probably even later).

There could be exceptions where somebody has such distorted motivations they actually plan their life around an inheritance at that age, but I guess that's rare. And I also guess anecdotes of 'people I know' like that it's a relatively small inheritance in a generally not well off family. In real life lack of money tends to beget lack of money, money tends to beget money. I think the worry about money inhibiting family future success is mainly an invented supposed 'silver lining' to not having money.
Agree. Another good post Jacko. You’re on a roll.

yousha
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by yousha » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:36 pm

SQRT wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 3:32 pm
yousha wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:23 am
SQRT wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:03 am
yousha wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:49 pm
SQRT wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:38 pm


Joking right? Pretty difficult to do this unless you don’t have a portfolio/other assets/annuitize everything or know with certainty your date of demise?
Nope. Adult children are doing very well financially. They do not need my money.
I understand your intent. But how are you actually going to do this? If you can live on your pensions in retirement or if your portfolio is relatively small, it would be easier, but if you rely on your portfolio for cash flow in retirement it would be much more difficult. Wouldn’t it?
Simple. I will live as I please with my 7 figures that I have accumulated over the years and spend as I want to achieve maximum gratification. If by chance anything is left over it would do to charity.
So you aren’t actually trying to die broke. Rather give your legacy to charity rather than your heirs? I can see that would be much easier to do.
The goal is to die broke!

JoeRetire
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by JoeRetire » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:51 pm

rgs92 wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:33 pm
Don' t forget to leave something to your pets. They can't earn their own way after you're gone.
You don't leave something to your pets. You leave something for your pets, via a trust.

vested1
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by vested1 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:06 pm

"How much money are leaving us when you die?

The question my kids asked me at ages 6 and 9 because my ex had already started using a possible inheritance from her as a carrot on the end of a very long stick.

My answer: Nothing. After they calmed down from their wailing hysterics I used the opportunity to teach them the meaning of a gift.

Our oldest, my stepdaughter, will be receiving the gift of a down payment for her first home before the end of the year from the proceeds of an inheritance from my MIL, a gift that our daughter knows nothing about. Each of our three kids will receive 1/3 of our estate when both of us are dead, that is unless they contest the trust, in which case they will receive what I promised the first time I was asked. I don't see that as a possibility however, as that lesson has been taken to heart.

shell921
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by shell921 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:15 pm

RudyS wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:15 am
shell921 wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:47 am
RudyS wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:18 pm
Sheepdog wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:56 pm
Assuming we haven't needed to spend it, especially for health and long term care, we have willed our 2 sons half each of our Roth IRAs (tax free for them) and half each of our I Bonds (about $200K at present). We have willed our traditional IRAs and our house to charities. Anything else of value will be given to our children. (no grandchildren, darn it).
Yes, they have been advised and are fine with this.
Sheepdog, I know that you know better, but for any newbies, it should be stated that you can't "will" anyone parts or all of IRAs. The beneficiary statements on the IRAs override anything in a will.
What about if your IRA is in your trust as mine is?
I do not know the details of that situation. Here's what I found on the web: "A: You cannot put your IRA in a trust while you are living. You can, however, name a trust as the beneficiary of your IRA and dictate how the assets are to be handled after your death. This applies to all types of IRAs, including traditional, Roth, SEP and SIMPLE IRAs."
RudyS- Thanks I will check this out!
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by S&L1940 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:28 pm

cheese_breath wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 4:09 pm
Whatever's left.
same here.
we also help the kids when they may need a boost, warning them jokingly and they know it, that it will reduce their final tally.
Don't it always seem to go * That you don't know what you've got * Till it's gone

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by 2015 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:29 am

Agcentral wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 9:35 pm
Legacy is everything to me.

I love my kids.

My grandkids fall far... far and away behind my sons.

Life is unpredictable. Like my parent, I want to give them a chance to live comfortably during their retirement.
To me, having money is not about what's in it for me. It's about not worrying about tomorrow (expenses).

I respect everyone's stance on here... and it is what it is but my goodness... it seems like so many think of themselves before their own kids.
Leave nothing for their children? My-my.

I don't NEED anything. I have lived a comfortable but not extravagant life and I will continue to do so but I don't need to travel the globe ($$$) or drive Mercedes ($$$), big houses ($$$) to be satisfied.

And I don't do the legacy thing for me. I have no illusions that it will be appreciated. That's ok. I'm good with my stance.
All of this.
My nephews and nieces will be pleasantly surprised, hopefully, right around the time they start their own retirements.

Bacchus01
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Bacchus01 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 7:22 am

Agcentral wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 9:35 pm
Legacy is everything to me.

I love my kids.

My grandkids fall far... far and away behind my sons.

Life is unpredictable. Like my parent, I want to give them a chance to live comfortably during their retirement.
To me, having money is not about what's in it for me. It's about not worrying about tomorrow (expenses).

I respect everyone's stance on here... and it is what it is but my goodness... it seems like so many think of themselves before their own kids.
Leave nothing for their children? My-my.

I don't NEED anything. I have lived a comfortable but not extravagant life and I will continue to do so but I don't need to travel the globe ($$$) or drive Mercedes ($$$), big houses ($$$) to be satisfied.

And I don't do the legacy thing for me. I have no illusions that it will be appreciated. That's ok. I'm good with my stance.
Just a wee bit judgemental.

Some people might feel very strongly that raising your children to be strong, moral, and independent people is more important than giving them a pile of money when they die.

Some people might feel that gifting their children things while they are alive that can enable their future (eg college education, home down payment, grandchildren 529 funding, etc) is more responsible than handing them a pile of money when you die.

augryphon
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by augryphon » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:04 am

I start with what our son already has inherited, although we can't take credit for it all:

A sweet, thoughtful Spirit
A curious faith
A love of family
As strong independent mind
A strong appreciation of the value of life-long learning
A hearty work ethic
He finished college and grad school debt free
Financial Savvy, he's a Boglehead, he's a skinflint
He can also be an annoying twit, but not nearly so often these days


When we are gone, I suspect he will have more than enough of his own. Our money will be split between him and charities, and although his inheritance in money will be quite substantial, the inheritance that he will value are the things listed above.

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rustymutt
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by rustymutt » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:08 am

As little as possible. I don't owe them anything, and find parents who think they owe their kids to be rather lacking wisdom. :sharebeer They can have what's left over.
I'm amazed at the wealth of Knowledge others gather, and share over a lifetime of learning. The mind is truly unique. It's nice when we use it!

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Nowizard » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:15 am

Interesting post. We funded most all of our children's expenses while growing up and they encourage us to spend without considering an inheritance (While inferring at times they would accept one :D ). We have been careful, though not frugal, spenders. That being our default position, we do not spend all that we could and will most likely leave an inheritance larger than we would have forecasted. Our default position now is that we will spend what feels comfortable, increase donations and not be concerned with a "Last breath, last dollar" approach.

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Small Law Survivor » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:38 am

Some disorganized thoughts on this topic -

This is a significant issue for us. I'm 67, wife 66. If we died tomorrow our unmarried 24 year old daughter (only child) would inherit close to $6MM in Vanguard funds invested in tIRAs, Roth IRAs, taxable accounts, variable annuity and mortgage free house.

Our daughter doesn't know our net worth. She asks, but I tell her that my father didn't share that with me until I was well into my 40s/50s, and I'm inclined to do the same with her. Unsure about this ...

My father said, from the day he retired, that his goal was to leave my sister and me $1MM each. He did that, and my daughter knows this. My goal is to leave our daughter at least $2MM as a cushion she can live on if necessary. I guess I inherited this goal from my father - if he could do it for us, I can do it for my daughter.

However, once social security kicks in for us in two years, when I turn 70, we'll be living on a 3% withdrawal rate from our portfolio (wr currently 4%). I know that the odds are that our 50/50 portfolio will not diminish too much with a 3% withdrawal rate.

Yes, better to help with a warm hand than a cold one. I have matched our daughter's earnings every year to help her build up a Roth IRA. And, this is "her money," so it actively involves her in investing. And, she is debt free out of college. Got to remember to teach her the "rule of 72", "animal spirits" and "where are the customer's yachts" :) We are very generous with her.

I don't know how this all will play out. I'm not sure leaving our daughter something like $3 - $6MM in 20 or 25 years is a good thing. She's a responsible kid, but still. Yes, have read Millionaire Next Door.

Struggling with all of this, no conclusions right now ...

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Dandy » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:40 am

I am fortunate that waiting until age 70 to collect SS and having a decent pension has come close to meeting our current lifestyle expenses. On top of that I have a nice nest egg conservatively invested. Both children and their spouses are good hard working people and we have two grandchildren. Our kids, like many, are both working and having trouble making ends meet.

Our fortunate financial picture allows us to gift "early inheritance" to them based on a large portion of my net RMD. At 70 there are still lots of potential financial/health bumps in the road ahead so I am not gifting enough to endanger our retirement. It is likely despite our gifting that they will inherit substantial assets. But it is nice to see them have a little of the financial burden off their backs while we are alive.

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Rich in Michigan » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:49 am

We plan on leaving all of our estate to our son.

I have no concern whatsoever that our bequest will be spent frivolously. We are confident that we have instilled the correct values in our son and in fact he has already demonstrated exceptional wisdom in handling an estate he received from our late older son. When I read about posters saying they would be worried that their kids would stop working, be bums, buy hot cars, spend like a drunken sailor, etc I just shake my head. Perhaps they need to go back to the drawing board and consider what values they have instilled in their children.

I do not have that to worry about and am quite happy to be able to do what we are planning.

As for our charities, we will make a certain donation but we will have already given during our lifetime.

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by JackoC » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:03 am

Rich in Michigan wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:49 am
1. ...When I read about posters saying they would be worried that their kids would stop working, be bums, buy hot cars, spend like a drunken sailor, etc I just shake my head. Perhaps they need to go back to the drawing board and consider what values they have instilled in their children.

2. As for our charities, we will make a certain donation but we will have already given during our lifetime.
1. It actually seems to almost always be *other people's* kids who they say would do that, or perhaps hypothetical kids they don't actually have, or perhaps their kids if given a hypothetical large amount of money they don't actually have. I don't recall reading any such posts where the poster said they had a lot of money to leave, had kids, but aren't going to leave it because they think their own kids would spend it frivolously. Which might mean that people fool themselves about their own kids (I would say the same as you do so maybe that includes me), or might mean other people just have certain tropes in their heads about 'people' that they repeat when the bell rings.

Also let's be realistic here, we are all selfish on some level, and wanting to selfishly spend your own money on yourself is human nature to some degree in everyone, and we often find rationalizations for our selfishness. But by the same token I'd admit I'd have some concern that if we died right now inheriting our money might dull the edge of our (late 20's-early 30's) kids' competitive spirit in the workplace. Some work in super competitive environments. Frivolous spending? No. Diluting their drive *a little*? Who knows. But OTOH one's own success relatively early in life can be a bit of a damper to some people. But if the damper is big pile of money and you're responsible with that pile, there are much worse things for sure. Anyway on an actuarial basis our kids can expect an inheritance in their late 50's-early 60's and frivolous spending is a total non issue.

2. Same here, charity 20% of spending while we're around. But I don't want to clutter up the will with it, and just basically, family first. It's possible we'll make bigger gifts when alive in later years or if/when health really goes south.
Last edited by JackoC on Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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midareff
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by midareff » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:14 am

ThankYouJack wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:04 pm
I'm curious, especially for those with assets (or planned assets) over $1million. Do you plan to leave your kids nothing, some or everything?
z e r o as things stand now.

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by SQRT » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:20 am

JackoC wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:03 am
Rich in Michigan wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:49 am
1. ...When I read about posters saying they would be worried that their kids would stop working, be bums, buy hot cars, spend like a drunken sailor, etc I just shake my head. Perhaps they need to go back to the drawing board and consider what values they have instilled in their children.

2. As for our charities, we will make a certain donation but we will have already given during our lifetime.
1. It actually seems to almost always be *other people's* kids who they say would do that, or perhaps hypothetical kids they don't actually have, or perhaps their kids if given a hypothetical large amount of money they don't actually have. I don't recall reading any such posts where the poster said they had a lot of money to leave, had kids, but aren't going to leave it because they think their own kids would spend it frivolously. Which might mean that people fool themselves about their own kids (I would say the same as you do so maybe that includes me), or might mean other people just have certain tropes in their heads about 'people' that they repeat when the bell rings.

Also let's be realistic here, we are all selfish on some level, and wanting to selfishly spend your own money on yourself is human nature to some degree in everyone, and we often find rationalizations for our selfishness. But by the same token I'd admit I'd have some concern that if we died right now inheriting our money might dull the edge of our (late 20's-early 30's) kids' competitive spirit in the workplace. Some work in super competitive environments. Frivolous spending? No. Diluting their drive *a little*? Who knows. But OTOH one's own success relatively early in life can be a bit of a damper to some people. But if the damper is big pile of money and you're responsible with that pile, there are much worse things for sure. Anyway on an actuarial expected basis our kids can expect an inheritance in their late 50's-mid 60's and frivolous spending is a total non issue.

2. Same here, charity 20% of spending while we're around. But I don't want to clutter up the will with it, and just basically, family first. It's possible we'll make bigger gifts when alive in later years or if/when health really goes south.
Yes I agree with you. Many people seem to want to rationalize not giving to their kids. Perhaps it’s because they would rather spend it themselves, or they don’t have that much to give in the first place or maybe their relationship with their kids isn’t great? The risk of creating a sense of entitlement or reducing work ethic in your kids certainly exists, but I think it is fairly rare. I have also noticed that when these problems do show up it is usually somebody else’s kids and the stories may be exaggerated or lacking in all the facts.

In any event, It is very likely we will make my daughter very wealthy (eventually) and I have no worries about what effect it might have on her attitude towards work or anything else. I am certainly not trying to spend it down to prevent her inheriting, but neither are we restricting our current lifestyle to boost her inheritance.
Last edited by SQRT on Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by Jazztonight » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:37 am

After I inherited from my father after he died at 96, I decided that it would be more beneficial to help my two children out now, when they could use my help rather than wait for a time in a possible future when I was in my 90s and they were in their 70s.

One of my adult children was still struggling to repay some school loans and the other had a mortgage loan from an uncle who'd loaned him money at a ridiculous interest rate and had not adjusted it when general rates went down. I gave my kids sufficient funds to pay off these debts, which gave them some comfortable breathing room. But I also made it clear they'd have to wait until I'm gone to get any more.

They were both grateful and I felt good about this decision.
"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." Nietzsche

afan
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by afan » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:04 pm

Interesting discussion.

Why do some assume that leaving money to their kids will somehow harm them? Is this a serious concern or a rationalization for profligate spending?

I know a number of people who inherited substantial amounts and knew it was coming long before it happened. They did not become drug addicts or some other speculated catastrophic effect of wealth. They work hard, raise their kids the best they knew how and otherwise lead good lives. The few for whom the wealth was so great that working would have no meaningful effect on their lives worked anyway.

Because that is what adults do. Their kids saw them get up and go to work everyday. Had all that money gone away they could still support themselves.

They are generous with charities and are constantly hosting events at their home. My kids are never going to inherit anything like that much money, but I don't worry about them failing at life if that were to happen.

Our kids are stable responsible people who are quite frugal. They did not get that way because we "instilled values" in them. They grew up with us but that need not mean they agree with everything we say.

I loved my parents but they had all kinds of attitudes with which I disagreed. I suppose you could say they failed to instill their values in me.

Or you could say that, like my kids, I have free will and make up my own mind about things.
We don't know how to beat the market on a risk-adjusted basis, and we don't know anyone that does know either | --Swedroe | We assume that markets are efficient, that prices are right | --Fama

LiterallyIronic
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by LiterallyIronic » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:17 pm

Agcentral wrote:
Tue Nov 06, 2018 9:35 pm
Legacy is everything to me.

I love my kids.

My grandkids fall far... far and away behind my sons.

Life is unpredictable. Like my parent, I want to give them a chance to live comfortably during their retirement.
To me, having money is not about what's in it for me. It's about not worrying about tomorrow (expenses).

I respect everyone's stance on here... and it is what it is but my goodness... it seems like so many think of themselves before their own kids.
Leave nothing for their children? My-my.

I don't NEED anything. I have lived a comfortable but not extravagant life and I will continue to do so but I don't need to travel the globe ($$$) or drive Mercedes ($$$), big houses ($$$) to be satisfied.

And I don't do the legacy thing for me. I have no illusions that it will be appreciated. That's ok. I'm good with my stance.
I can see your perspective, but I have the opposite perspective - money is worthless. It's only purpose is to buy time. I want to use my money to retire as soon as possible so I can maximize TIME with my kid (and other other people I care about) instead of spending my life in a cubicle and then giving them money when I drop dead.

My memories of my dad don't include the times he was at the office (note: he's not dead yet. Heck his dad isn't dead yet). But the point remains. When I die, I don't my "legacy" to be a stack of dollars. I want my "legacy" to be the stories and memories my daughter tells about the times we spent together.

m@ver1ck
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Re: How much money are you leaving your kids after you die?

Post by m@ver1ck » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:37 pm

I'm 42 and have a total of 320K in my Vanguard Rollover IRA and ROTH IRA.

The plan is not to have to touch that money ever - it's a buffer, and is invested at 90/10 stocks/bonds. If we don't have to dip into it, this will be theirs.

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