When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
michaeljc70
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by michaeljc70 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:10 am

It is open to interpretation. I would say a frugal person might see the value in sometimes buying better quality things that will last and a cheapskate might not. A frugal person might pay more sometimes because they value their time while a cheapskate might not. As others mentioned, a cheapskate might stiff others to save money.

Gnirk
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Gnirk » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:13 am

Frugal: When you buy the Toyota instead of the Lexus, even though you can afford the Lexus.
Cheapskate: When the couple who has far more $$$ than you do orders $200 worth of wine at dinner (and know that we don't drink wine because of medications) and then wants to split the bill.
Cheapskate: When friends (equally well-off) who have stayed with you for 10 days in your snowbird home don't bother to rent a car, expect you to shuttle them everywhere, and reluctantly offer to fill your gas tank...once. And don't offer to treat to a reasonably priced dinner out (when we stay with friends, we offer to take them out to dinner every night we are there).

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Stacking_Benjamins » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:37 am

NotWhoYouThink wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:45 am
Stacking_Benjamins wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:55 pm
Wednesday my wife texts me to pick up some water bottles with the squirt top.
I later reply "but the regular spring water is like half the price per oz"
Fortunately I married a frugal woman, who just went through our budget a couple weeks ago and she was cool with it.
But I did feel kind of like a curmudgeon.
Paying for bottled water? Wasteful and profligate.
Thanks for your opinion...

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by an_asker » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:18 pm

Stacking_Benjamins wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:37 am
NotWhoYouThink wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:45 am
Stacking_Benjamins wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:55 pm
Wednesday my wife texts me to pick up some water bottles with the squirt top.
I later reply "but the regular spring water is like half the price per oz"
Fortunately I married a frugal woman, who just went through our budget a couple weeks ago and she was cool with it.
But I did feel kind of like a curmudgeon.
Paying for bottled water? Wasteful and profligate.
Thanks for your opinion...
I've friends who go for the best water ever - pH balanced alkaline from Whole Pay Check ... err ... Whole Foods!

Just wanted to present a data point on the other end of the spectrum.

knowledge
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by knowledge » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:21 pm

michaeljc70 wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:10 am
It is open to interpretation. I would say a frugal person might see the value in sometimes buying better quality things that will last and a cheapskate might not. A frugal person might pay more sometimes because they value their time while a cheapskate might not. As others mentioned, a cheapskate might stiff others to save money.
Agree. Cheapskate is optimizing for least money as possible at all times. Frugal is optimizing for value.

Those can quite often intersect, but in many instances can drastically diverge.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by barnaclebob » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 pm

You become a cheapskate when you shift the burden of your frugality onto others.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by BradJ » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:46 pm

barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 pm
You become a cheapskate when you shift the burden of your frugality onto others.
This should be the official definition.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by T-Wrench » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:52 pm

barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 pm
You become a cheapskate when you shift the burden of your frugality onto others.
+1.
My own examples:
Frugal: you get a cheaper bag of sugar to use at home.
Cheapskate: someone who takes the sugar packets at a restaurant to use at home because 'I paid for them already.'

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by stoptothink » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:53 pm

BradJ wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:46 pm
barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 pm
You become a cheapskate when you shift the burden of your frugality onto others.
This should be the official definition.
+2. Said much better and more concise than my attempt.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by WageSlave » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm

I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."

Edit: So what is the community's take on famous early-retirement bloggers, like Mr Money Mustache? Frugal or cheap?

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by BradJ » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:16 pm

WageSlave wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm
I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."

Edit: So what is the community's take on famous early-retirement bloggers, like Mr Money Mustache? Frugal or cheap?
Mr. Money Mustache: Frugal, focused and determined.

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FIREchief
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by FIREchief » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:52 pm

jrbdmb wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:28 am
Based on recent threads ...

If your vacations consist of free stays at resorts in exchange for timeshare pitches,
And dinners out with the spouse consist of investment seminars at local restaurants,
You might be a cheapskate. :happy
Ouch!! (and "good one" :sharebeer )

I guess that makes FIREchief a CHEAPchief as well.

Oh well, what's for (free) dinner? 8-)
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Theseus » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:24 pm

nisiprius wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:57 pm
If your frugality is making someone unhappy, you've crossed the line. That someone could be somebody else ("stingy,") or it could be you ("miserly.")
This is probably the closest. In the context of frugality I probably don't care as much about other people's happiness but I would say if your frugality is impacting someone in a negative way then its crossing the line.

e.g. While both may cost the same someone gorging a dinner for $300 - overeating/drinking and leaving 10% tip instead of $275 dinner and leaving 15-20% tip.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Scrapr » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:36 pm

Exafchick wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:10 am
If you are washing paper plates to re-use, you might be a cheapskate!
My MIL uses plastic forks & knives. Then pops them in the dishwasher.

I collect deposit cans & bottles on my morning & afternoon dog walks. Always take a look at the trash cans in the park. Also check the bins for glass & cans on garbage recycle day. Cheap? Or Frugal?

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Wellfleet » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:42 pm

BradJ wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:16 pm
WageSlave wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm
I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."

Edit: So what is the community's take on famous early-retirement bloggers, like Mr Money Mustache? Frugal or cheap?
Mr. Money Mustache: Frugal, focused and determined.
MMM is both. There was a story where he refused to buy new Magic Cards for his kids to play with other kids; or maybe he refused to pitch in for pizza. He made the point about being able to buy them in bulk used on ebay. Presumabley his kid felt bad about this. He was sweating the small stuff for no reason.

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dm200
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by dm200 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:01 pm

Being "frugal" in small things, over time and many such things - can add up to real savings over months and years.

Compared with previous physicians, with our current plan - we do not pay for parking anywhere. Most physicians we had before were $5 parking er visit. Adds up over time - especially as we age and have more such visits.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by understandingJH » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:03 pm

nisiprius wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:57 pm
If your frugality is making someone unhappy, you've crossed the line. That someone could be somebody else ("stingy,") or it could be you ("miserly.")
What if that someone else is a spendthrift significant other who makes a comparable amount of money to you. You being frugal means you want to pay $20,000 Toyota for the next car purchase, but that makes the other person unhappy because they want a Lexus for $40,000? Or another scenario: You want to buy a $20 no-name casual shirt, but they are unhappy you aren't wearing a $60 casual designer shirt. Or how about you prefer paying $20 for a pair of sunglasses from the drug store but they are unhappy because you aren't donning Versace for $200?

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by dm200 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:04 pm

understandingJH wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:03 pm
nisiprius wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:57 pm
If your frugality is making someone unhappy, you've crossed the line. That someone could be somebody else ("stingy,") or it could be you ("miserly.")
What if that someone else is a spendthrift significant other who makes a comparable amount of money to you. You being frugal means you want to pay $20,000 Toyota for the next car purchase, but that makes the other person unhappy because they want a Lexus for $40,000? Or another scenario: You want to buy a $20 no-name casual shirt, but they are unhappy you aren't wearing a $60 casual designer shirt. Or how about you prefer paying $20 for a pair of sunglasses from the drug store but they are unhappy because you aren't donning Versace for $200?
Maybe this should be on a "dating" or "marriage" checklist for sompatibility?

:sharebeer

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FIREchief
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by FIREchief » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:08 pm

If my job in life is to make everybody else happy, then I've failed miserably and should be fired (instead of FIREd). There are those who I am responsible to care for, but caring for somebody and making them "happy" can sometimes be two entirely different things. People's happiness in many cases needs to (and perhaps can only) come from within.
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KlingKlang
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by KlingKlang » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:14 pm

delamer wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:41 pm
When you are cheating someone else out of money rightfully due them because you are trying to hold on to your own money, then you’ve crossed the line to being miserly.
WageSlave wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm
I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."
If you go to a restaurant and walk out without paying it's theft.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by delamer » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:33 pm

KlingKlang wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:14 pm
delamer wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:41 pm
When you are cheating someone else out of money rightfully due them because you are trying to hold on to your own money, then you’ve crossed the line to being miserly.
WageSlave wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm
I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."
If you go to a restaurant and walk out without paying it's theft.

Right, every thief is a miser, but not every miser is a thief. If you pay the bill and don’t leave a tip (assuming decent service) then you are a miser but not a thief.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by randomguy » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:03 pm

Wellfleet wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:42 pm
BradJ wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:16 pm
WageSlave wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm
I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."

Edit: So what is the community's take on famous early-retirement bloggers, like Mr Money Mustache? Frugal or cheap?
Mr. Money Mustache: Frugal, focused and determined.
MMM is both. There was a story where he refused to buy new Magic Cards for his kids to play with other kids; or maybe he refused to pitch in for pizza. He made the point about being able to buy them in bulk used on ebay. Presumabley his kid felt bad about this. He was sweating the small stuff for no reason.

He is getting off close/crossing the cheapstake line where he is letting money run his life and doesn't do things he wants to do because of costs he can easily afford. Granted to some extent he has to do this to keep his gravy train flowing:) And who knows how much real life tracks his blog posts.

The thing with frugality is that some people see it as a tool to reach ones goals in life. Others see it as a virtue and a goal all by itself. You will view actions differently depending on that.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by mptfan » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:06 pm

My ex-MIL would order water at a restaurant with ice and extra lemon, then she would squeeze the lemons into the water and add sugar from the sugar packets on the table (or ask for sugar) and make what I would refer to as "cheapskate lemonade." I think that crosses the line to cheap and it always embarrased me. She would also make a point of "not tipping on the tax" and I would often leave extra for a tip to make up for her cheapness. Thank goodness I don't have to eat with her at restaurants anymore.
Last edited by mptfan on Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by dm200 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:08 pm

mptfan wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:06 pm
When she ate at a restaurant, my ex-MIL would order water with ice and extra lemon, then she would squeeze the lemons into the water and add sugar from the sugar packets on the table and make what I would refer to as "cheapskate lemonade." I think that crosses the line to cheap and it always embarrased me. She would always make a point of "not tipping on the tax." Thank goodness I don't have to eat with her at restaurants anymore.
Primarily for health reasons, I just get water or water with Lemon. No sugar either - health reasons.

I, too, base the tip on the pre-tax amount.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:05 pm

stoptothink wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:53 pm
BradJ wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:46 pm
barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 pm
You become a cheapskate when you shift the burden of your frugality onto others.
This should be the official definition.
+2. Said much better and more concise than my attempt.
+3
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:08 pm

mptfan wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:06 pm
My ex-MIL would order water at a restaurant with ice and extra lemon, then she would squeeze the lemons into the water and add sugar from the sugar packets on the table (or ask for sugar) and make what I would refer to as "cheapskate lemonade." I think that crosses the line to cheap and it always embarrased me. She would also make a point of "not tipping on the tax" and I would often leave extra for a tip to make up for her cheapness. Thank goodness I don't have to eat with her at restaurants anymore.
I don’t tip the taxing authority either. Please feel free to send any extra contributions to the taxing authority, maybe you will reduce my tax liability with all that new found money.
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:18 pm

Wellfleet wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:42 pm
BradJ wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:16 pm
WageSlave wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:58 pm
I heard this somewhere recently: "If you go to a restaurant and don't leave a tip, that's cheap. If you skip the restaurant and make a meal at home, that's frugal."

Edit: So what is the community's take on famous early-retirement bloggers, like Mr Money Mustache? Frugal or cheap?
Mr. Money Mustache: Frugal, focused and determined.
MMM is both. There was a story where he refused to buy new Magic Cards for his kids to play with other kids; or maybe he refused to pitch in for pizza. He made the point about being able to buy them in bulk used on ebay. Presumabley his kid felt bad about this. He was sweating the small stuff for no reason.
My opinion only - ignorant and non empathetic, clear sign of a narcissist. I don’t care how much money you have, doing that to your kid when you can clearly afford it. Nuts!
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by mptfan » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:23 pm

Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:08 pm
I don’t tip the taxing authority either.
Neither do I, I tip the waitstaff.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by delamer » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:26 pm

mptfan wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:23 pm
Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:08 pm
I don’t tip the taxing authority either.
Neither do I, I tip the waitstaff.
+1

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dm200
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by dm200 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:27 pm

delamer wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:26 pm
mptfan wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:23 pm
Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:08 pm
I don’t tip the taxing authority either.
Neither do I, I tip the waitstaff.
+1
My local jurisdicton taxes restaurant meals at 10%.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Olemiss540 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:28 pm

dm200 wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:08 pm
mptfan wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:06 pm
When she ate at a restaurant, my ex-MIL would order water with ice and extra lemon, then she would squeeze the lemons into the water and add sugar from the sugar packets on the table and make what I would refer to as "cheapskate lemonade." I think that crosses the line to cheap and it always embarrased me. She would always make a point of "not tipping on the tax." Thank goodness I don't have to eat with her at restaurants anymore.
Primarily for health reasons, I just get water or water with Lemon. No sugar either - health reasons.

I, too, base the tip on the pre-tax amount.
Susan?

Just kidding. Personally, I think frugal is introspective and cheapskate is opinionated. My brother thinks I am a cheapskate because I don't lease new cars. I am affecting my children's safety in comparison to his decision (and their happiness since their seats aren't air conditioned). There is no logical description for either, so I believe the negative connotation with regard to "cheapskate" is because someone is more frugal than someone else, and it might offend the person's decision to be less frugal. It makes my brother feel better about his decision to lease a BMW if he can term me a "cheapskate".
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by aspirit » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:14 pm

As to the question,
I always saved 100% of what I did not spend.
goodlifer wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:16 am
When your passion for money clouds your judgement as to what is socially acceptable, you are a cheapskate. When you get more enjoyment from hoarding money than you do from spending or giving, you are a miser.
I Disagree Acting in socially acceptable manner, is still 'acting'.
Do you keep up with the joneses also?
When someone, say a retail cashier, a corner begger, etc. ask's me for a buck or contribution, I say no. Get a job, or just no.
Who cares whats socially acceptable? I do not. I do not act* out my life, I live my life, my way. Regrets? ...a few..sounds like that Sinatra's song eeh?

I guess i'm a curmudgeonly cheep miser.

Do you think the organizations sending you stick-on return addresses, pens, calculators, & useless whatnot, are not expecting a socially acceptable donation from you for that crap they cannot sell?
Do you think they are using the donations as they say?
I think you should do some research, more moneys been stolen or mis-allocated by charities than not. Good luck to you. jmho
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by trueblueky » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:51 pm

delamer wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:42 pm
smectym wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:20 pm
I think Sidney suggested that "Thrift is the fuel of magnificence." At some point our thrifty habits should enable some splash-out, if not for ourselves, then for loved ones and friends. Also, give to charitable causes we actually care about ourselves--not because other people we need to impress say they care about them; and engage in other occasional experiments in excess.

Smectym
What is splash-out?
"Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can." - - John Wesley

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Sandtrap » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:55 pm

I think it depends on the connotation and context of use.
The difference between:
1. My dad was a real "cheapskate", but had a heart of gold and was generous to family and those in need.
or
2. Stay away from that "cheapskate". What a "hobo".

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by michaeljc70 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:14 pm

Dragging your family to Thailand to retire at age 35 when you have no ties there and don't speak the language is being a cheapskate. Buying a house and renting out all the rooms (assuming not college age) and sleeping on the couch or in the basement is being a cheapskate. I read variances on both of these on FIRE sites.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by gostars » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:03 pm

Scrapr wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:36 pm
I collect deposit cans & bottles on my morning & afternoon dog walks. Always take a look at the trash cans in the park. Also check the bins for glass & cans on garbage recycle day. Cheap? Or Frugal?
Most cities generate revenue from recycling cans and other items and use that to help fund the recycling program itself. At least in the US, many cities also have laws on the books that prohibit taking materials from recycling bins because of this. Make sure your dumpster diving isn't crossing from cheap into theft.

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Scrapr » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:13 pm

gostars wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:03 pm
Scrapr wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:36 pm
I collect deposit cans & bottles on my morning & afternoon dog walks. Always take a look at the trash cans in the park. Also check the bins for glass & cans on garbage recycle day. Cheap? Or Frugal?
Most cities generate revenue from recycling cans and other items and use that to help fund the recycling program itself. At least in the US, many cities also have laws on the books that prohibit taking materials from recycling bins because of this. Make sure your dumpster diving isn't crossing from cheap into theft.
in our area the cans/bottles are recycled but not returned for deposit. So by rescuing them from the waste stream I am actually putting them to a higher use. (me!) They can pry that 10 cents from my dead cold hands :moneybag :moneybag

The homeless are also big on looking through recycle for deposits

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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by KlingKlang » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:48 pm

mptfan wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:06 pm
My ex-MIL would order water at a restaurant with ice and extra lemon, then she would squeeze the lemons into the water and add sugar from the sugar packets on the table (or ask for sugar) and make what I would refer to as "cheapskate lemonade." I think that crosses the line to cheap and it always embarrased me. She would also make a point of "not tipping on the tax" and I would often leave extra for a tip to make up for her cheapness. Thank goodness I don't have to eat with her at restaurants anymore.
My parents insisted on the 'cheapskate lemonade rule' whenever we ate out. The rule for a tip was that when he received change my father would keep the bills and the quarters. After he got up my mother would usually grab the dimes and nickels.

MikeG62
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by MikeG62 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 7:46 am

Scrapr wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:13 pm
gostars wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:03 pm
Scrapr wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:36 pm
I collect deposit cans & bottles on my morning & afternoon dog walks. Always take a look at the trash cans in the park. Also check the bins for glass & cans on garbage recycle day. Cheap? Or Frugal?
Most cities generate revenue from recycling cans and other items and use that to help fund the recycling program itself. At least in the US, many cities also have laws on the books that prohibit taking materials from recycling bins because of this. Make sure your dumpster diving isn't crossing from cheap into theft.
in our area the cans/bottles are recycled but not returned for deposit. So by rescuing them from the waste stream I am actually putting them to a higher use. (me!) They can pry that 10 cents from my dead cold hands :moneybag :moneybag

The homeless are also big on looking through recycle for deposits
I'd leave the cans for the homeless people, who clearly need the change way more than you do.
Real Knowledge Comes Only From Experience

SQRT
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by SQRT » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:46 am

Who cares?

I worry about myself and avoid people who I think are cheap, miserly,too frugal,mean,dishonest,dull,loud,opinionated,judgemental,etc.

I guess we could start another thread for examples and definitions of these terms?

goodlifer
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by goodlifer » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:56 am

aspirit wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:14 pm
As to the question,
I always saved 100% of what I did not spend.
goodlifer wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:16 am
When your passion for money clouds your judgement as to what is socially acceptable, you are a cheapskate. When you get more enjoyment from hoarding money than you do from spending or giving, you are a miser.
I Disagree Acting in socially acceptable manner, is still 'acting'.
Do you keep up with the joneses also?
When someone, say a retail cashier, a corner begger, etc. ask's me for a buck or contribution, I say no. Get a job, or just no.
Who cares whats socially acceptable? I do not. I do not act* out my life, I live my life, my way. Regrets? ...a few..sounds like that Sinatra's song eeh?

I guess i'm a curmudgeonly cheep miser.

Do you think the organizations sending you stick-on return addresses, pens, calculators, & useless whatnot, are not expecting a socially acceptable donation from you for that crap they cannot sell?
Do you think they are using the donations as they say?
I think you should do some research, more moneys been stolen or mis-allocated by charities than not. Good luck to you. jmho

Wow. Sounds like you took my post personal. All I can say is that if you see yourself in what I posted, then yes, you probably are a cheap miser, as you say. And no, I don't feel the need to do more research on what I think constitutes a cheapskate or a miser. Lol.

FireProof
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by FireProof » Sat Jul 14, 2018 10:01 am

KyleAAA wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:08 am
When someone else does it.
I dunno, if someone else does it like I do, I think they seem like a good bloke.

I'd say it's more:
"thrifty" = about as tight-fisted as me.
"cheapskate" = significantly more tight-fisted than me
"profligate" = significantly less tight-fisted than me

Wricha
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by Wricha » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:08 pm

randomguy wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:50 pm
nisiprius wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:57 pm
If your frugality is making someone unhappy, you've crossed the line. That someone could be somebody else ("stingy,") or it could be you ("miserly.")
I disagree with that. The fact that I don't buy my mom a porsche that I can afford might make her unhappy, but it doesn't make me a cheapstake or a miser.:)

Frugality and cheapstake aren't exactly on a continuum. Cheapstake has a bunch of definitions

a) One is basically a freeloader. If we go to dinner and you order 200 bucks of food and I order 100 and you say split the bill, you are a cheapstake. This isn't nothing to do with being frugal. It is about exploiting friends.

B) is the being a miser definition where I buy the civic instead of the accord. That is very close to the definition of frugal.

We are talking about small differences in connotations. Frugal tends to get a bit of respect. Miserliness not so much.

When does frugality, miserliness, cheapness, and so on become an issue. When it prevents you from doing things you want to do and can afford to do. If I had 10 million dollars, wanted a porsche, but didn't buy it because I didn't want to spend money, then money is running my life instead of being a tool. Or if you want more normal examples, you don't go out with a friend because spending 10 dollars on food when out is unacceptable. Or you pass out at a theme park because no way your paying 3 bucks for water.
You won’t buy your Mother a Porsche, your no fun

ddurrett896
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by ddurrett896 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:43 pm

Frugal spends money base on value, not cost.
Cheapskate spends money based on cost, not value.

My bro in law buys $150 used appliances on Craigslist constantly. He’s cheap.

I spent $3,000 on a quality fridge that will last me longer and much more efficient. I did but it from an employee discount site AND waitied until their July 4th sale, lowering the cost to around $1,800. I’m frugal.

To be, you cross the line when you put $$ before value/benefit.

daveydoo
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by daveydoo » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:45 pm

McCharley wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:37 pm
...I was wondering what you folks think...
When it's someone else
"I mean, it's one banana, Michael...what could it cost? Ten dollars?"

shell921
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by shell921 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 8:29 am

Rupert wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:15 am
I define a cheapskate as someone who frequently takes advantage of the generosity of others but never reciprocates.
Yes! I agree this is a great way to look at it!
:D

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BolderBoy
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by BolderBoy » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:04 am

nisiprius wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:57 pm
If your frugality is making someone unhappy, you've crossed the line. That someone could be somebody else ("stingy,") or it could be you ("miserly.")
Not sure I entirely agree with this. 15 years ago a girlfriend and I went our separate ways. She said I was parsimonious (I had to look it up) and that she was unhappy about it. I said I was living below my means. We both had the same occupation and therefore, same incomes (>6 figures). Now we are both retired. I live on easy street and she is barely getting by and will be stuck in that mode the rest of her life.
"Never underestimate one's capacity to overestimate one's abilities" - The Dunning-Kruger Effect

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munemaker
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by munemaker » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:25 am

Frugal or cheap?
- using cents off coupons for gasoline and groceries?
- using credit card reward points programs
- using sign up bonuses for credit cards, bank accounts, brokerage accounts
- negotiating prices with contractors, for appliances, etc. rather than just accepting the quoted price
- taking your own snacks to the movie theater, ball game or concert (where you are supposed to buy there at inflated prices)
- going to a community college even if you were accepted at a private college
- not tipping for bar drinks at an event (not where you are sitting at the bar)
- regifting
- letting a subscription or membership expire to get the "sign up" offer again
- driving a 10 year old car when you are very wealthy
- not updating your bathroom and kitchen every X years

badProgrammer
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by badProgrammer » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:34 am

stoptothink wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:53 pm
BradJ wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:46 pm
barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 pm
You become a cheapskate when you shift the burden of your frugality onto others.
This should be the official definition.
+2. Said much better and more concise than my attempt.
^Yes, this.

When I'm out to dinner with a relative who fancies himself "frugal" but is actually "cheap," I dread seeing him sweat when the check arrives and he's ordered perhaps one more beer than he planned...after the meal has been eaten, he wants to pay less for it, so he "saves" by reducing the tip, thereby keeping more money in his pocket. He "shifts the burden of the frugality onto others" as barnaclebob described so well.

On more than one occasion, I've slipped the server an additional tip because the server did not deserve to be stiffed.

Once when I said in advance that I'd pick up the entire tab, he actually said, "Because badProgrammer is paying, I'm going to order the [most expensive entree]."

If that's not shifting the burden, I don't know what is...

shell921
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Re: When does frugal cross the line to cheapskate?

Post by shell921 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:58 am

Before I met my husband I had a few dates with a guy I thought I was starting to like.
He had a good job, he was tall, dark and handsome and had a good personality. He did not tip
at ANY of the restaurants we visited and I was shocked and ended up leaving the tips myself.
Against my better judgement, I invited him to my condo for dinner for our 5th date.
I served a very nice meal on good china and the table had a tablecloth, cloth napkins, flowers, candles and
I served good wine. The next date he invited me to his place for "dinner". The meal was
Mrs Paul's fish sticks and the catsup bottle on the table. That was the last straw.
I thought no way can I be around a cheap man.

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