Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
cu_
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by cu_ » Mon Nov 24, 2014 12:12 am

Early 40s here. My conclusions after reading all posts (and agree)
1. family
2. health
3. investing
4. dealing with parents getting old

All four or responsibilities... have to (5) somehow figure out to have fun while doing all the above.

saladdin
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by saladdin » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:59 am

brian2013 wrote:
powermega wrote:I always tell the 29 year old who is freaking out about turning 30 that your 30s are better than your 20s. You have just as much vitality as you do in your 20s, but you have more money and you're not so stupid.

Your 40s are not as good as your 30s.
Powermega and Michaelseig, are you willing to elaborate why your 40's were not as good as the 30's?
Not them but I'll give my arguement.

In my 40's I FEEL 20 but the truth is your body isn't better. You can get lots of 40 year olds who will say "I'm in the best shape of my life" or "I'm in better shape then I was in my 20's." But the truth is they are lying. Maybe you lift weights now or actually jog but your body isn't 20. For every 40 year old who does something physically good there are 20 kids in their 20's that can do it better with half the effort. There is a reason top elite atheletes are retired by 35.

Your hormones carry you through the 20's. All you want, as a guy, is sex, food and a pickup game of some type of sports.

At 20 you burn off every calorie, can "go all night long" and twist an ankle and be good as new tomorrow.
At 40 you can't get rid of those 15lbs, sex is a mild inconvience at times and that cut on your knuckles from scrapping the car while changing the oil takes a week to heal.

mojorisin
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by mojorisin » Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:34 am

Excellent thread. I just turned 43. When I heard the term "mid life crisis" when I was younger, I always assumed it would equate to a need to buy a 2 seater sports car or a side girlfriend. Turns out my "crisis" boils down to me wanting to hit a specific amount of savings so I can retire early. If I "stay the course" with my current situation (income and savings mix) I will hit my retirement goal of $4M when I'm 62. Which was all fine in my 30's. But now I have some fortunate friends who are hitting that goal in their late 40's, which is making me want to figure out a way to get to my retirement goal earlier in my 50's. Thus I am in "crisis" mode 24 hours a day now, trying to figure out how to increase my annual savings by $150k to get there.

Its a dual edge sword to have my drive and desire. One side its good because I will make personal sacrifice, work hard, and invest the time to figure it out to get to where I need to be and have had success over the years. On the down side it creates anxiety which keeps my stress level higher than it needs to be. Its causing me to get out of bed earlier than I'm ready. I'm struggling to keep this new "crisis" in check. I'm out looking hard to make a move to another company that pays more, or invest money into a side business which can kick my annual income up to the levels I need. My wife quit her job 7 years ago when we had our first child. I'm trying to figure out a way to get her to generate the extra income without impacting her time with the family.

Having a 5 and 7 year old, I am fortunate to have realized early that time with my family is invaluable. I have passed on the ability to take on higher paying jobs but they required frequent travel, I always prioritized my family situation as #1. Making a conscious effort to carve out family time daily and weekly is invaluable. I don't take for granted how quick they grow. I am there physically and emotionally on that part of the journey. As a Christian I've listened to many sermons and books over the years. One line I remember daily that relates to kids is from a pastor who would spend time with people right before they pass - consistently their regret was never that they spent more time at work but they spent more time with their families :happy Easier to talk then put into action with our materialistic driven society we live in :happy

My 30's were simple, easy, and almost a little boring. My earnings went up exponentially. My wife was doing well at work which helped financially and gave me plenty of free time :happy took annual trips to Europe. Drive expensive cars.

40's will be all about increasing assets, raising the kids, and hopefully putting myself into a good position financially in my 50's. I'm looking to my 50's to be able to transition out of a fast pace high burnout sales exec job I'm in now to a job that I will enjoy more but likely make less income.

Great forum. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

am
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by am » Thu Nov 27, 2014 12:02 pm

Early 40s. So far, more of a realization that time is finite and gaining more of it for personal use is becoming more important. This is especially true since so many bad things can happen to us especially as we get older. Thankfully, I found the Bogleheads in 2007 and with the great market we have had, am off to a great start. Reaching a basic level of financial independence is becoming one of my main life goals but this is a balancing act with trying to enjoy today. My job as an MD is stressful and grueling, so I want to cut back hours and getting closer to financial independence will allow me this.

Stick5vw
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Stick5vw » Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:24 pm

Amazing thread. Being 6 weeks away from turning 39, I think about my 40s a lot nowadays ! Would love to revive this thread again and hear more thoughts.

2015
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by 2015 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:55 pm

For anyone who has, is, or will crash and burn in their 40's, I am living proof that you can lose everything, including coming quite close to losing your life, and come back more successful and more accomplished than ever before. Unless you are exceptionally talented or gifted, for most of us, success is made up of nothing but hard, hard, hard work, in all areas of life, and includes the highest degree of self-discipline, self-mastery and self-control.

I wholeheartedly disagree with the posts above regarding caving in to physical, emotional, or intellectual narrowing as one ages. Now in my early 60's, life has never held greater possibility, psychologically, emotionally, even physically. It really is true what has been said--it's never too late. Age is a mental disease, a socially contagious mental disease, and if you don't inoculate yourself against it you'll become infected with the same illness the mediocre have--the failure to take personal responsibility for the results one is producing in one's life. This includes the quality of your physicality, at any age.

Toadandfriends
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Toadandfriends » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:21 pm

My best advice to anyone in their 40s - exercise at least 5 days a week if not every day. Cardio til you drip sweat, mobility, flexibility, strength, balance....!!!!! Different moves every day and lots of different vegetables every day.
https://www.ted.com/talks/wendy_suzuki_ ... f_exercise

Enjoy life,
Toadandfriends

BradJ
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by BradJ » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:41 pm

This is such a great post, thank you OP for submitting it. I witnessed my parents loose everything in their 40s, so the age is scary to me. I appreciate all the responses, gave me a lot to think about.

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Sandtrap
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Sandtrap » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:55 pm

40's ???
Honestly can't remember much by now.
I think I was tired all the time working 24/7.
And DW was tired all the time taking care of family and working.
Retired.
Finally resting.

Advice: when you feel like you're either running top speed downhill over slippery ice or crawling through glass uphill. Stop. Rest. Think.

aloha
j :D

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by peterinjapan » Sun Jun 10, 2018 11:00 pm

My 40s run out in exactly 9 days. Hrrm.

I've had a good decade. It's the time I really became an "adult" about many things, doing my own investing (and doing it far better than Wells Fargo, thank you very much). Being very serious about my business. Teaching my son about investing, who took to it like a fish in water. Getting serious about my health, which is of course almost the most important thing.

Got my FIRE plan in place, will hopefully wrap things up in their present form at the age or 55 or 56. Of course I get to ask the question, "Then what?"

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AtlasShrugged?
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by AtlasShrugged? » Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:04 am

What did you learn, what do you wish you had done differently, or what do you wish you had known at 40? Did you have any "crisis" experiences? Let's hear it!
Brian2013....I congratulate you (a little early) on reaching this milestone (age 40). You are about to enter your second 'Golden Age' (circa 40 to 59).

You are about to reach your peak functioning: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. My advice, sit back and take stock. In your forties, you will discover what you 'know what you don't know' and figure out whether it is important or not. That is how it was for me. You must now figure out for yourself what is really important to you. And then find the will (and courage) within yourself to act on that. Be on guard, though - don't do anything super stupid like the 'blond girl and the red sports car'. Those stories they tell about guys 'losing their minds? They would not tell those stories unless there was more than a kernel of truth to them.

In my mid-forties, I nearly died. I had some heavy duty medical issues and when they got me into the OR, it was 5.5 hours of surgery. It was the low point of my life, and I thank The Almighty almost every day for having lived through it. Everything I do is now measured against that experience. I had a couple of months of convalescing, and I used that time to confront some personal demons, and conquer them. I moved on. I recovered completely.

My chief regret from my forties was not being a better husband, and a better father. Some posters have mentioned that this is also the time to make changes if you are physically not fit. They are correct. I survived that experience because I exercised regularly.
“If you don't know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.”

clutchied
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by clutchied » Mon Jun 11, 2018 9:33 am

I'm turning 38 on Father's day this year and this has been wonderful to read!

thank you to all who contributed their wisdom and experience; very inspiring!

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by FireHorse » Mon Jun 11, 2018 9:49 am

I love my 40s, that was the time my wealth was building up sturdily and my confidence was skyhigh. Family was good and career was booming, it felt good to be in that position.

itsgot8
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by itsgot8 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:20 am

This was a wonderful thread to read. I'm a few years away from 40 but it will be here before I know it and am already focusing on some of the recommendations of people who have lived through it. It will be a good thread to revisit in a few years!

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by investingdad » Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:11 am

I responded to this thread 4 years ago.

I'll add the following since my kids are now 13 and almost 11.... the correct answer to the following question, without ever having to think about it, is always 'yes'.


Dad, can we go golfing this weekend?

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ClevrChico
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by ClevrChico » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:50 pm

I'm recently 40 and started it with pivoting my field of work. (Same megacorp.) The writing was on the wall that automation would replace my old field eventually, so I'm now working on the automation tech. I'm confident the new role will carry me into FIRE, if I pull the trigger this decade, which is likely. Plan B would have been to ride legacy work into the sunset and take a buyout.

This decade will include both daycare and college! :moneybag

I'm hoping to avoid the personal, health, and professional black swans as much as possible, although some is out of our control. It's certainly feels like a "dangerous" decade.

2015
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by 2015 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:43 pm

AtlasShrugged? wrote:
Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:04 am
What did you learn, what do you wish you had done differently, or what do you wish you had known at 40? Did you have any "crisis" experiences? Let's hear it!
Brian2013....I congratulate you (a little early) on reaching this milestone (age 40). You are about to enter your second 'Golden Age' (circa 40 to 59).

You are about to reach your peak functioning: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually...
Maybe. Maybe not. This certainly has not been the case with me. I consider myself to always have been a high performer, but my functioning in all areas increased markedly upon reaching age 60 and the expansion has not stopped. I am an entirely different person than I was just 3 years ago. The single strategy I can attribute this to was changing the quality of my inputs--people, time, activities--which dramatically changed the quality of all outputs. To this end, the ongoing project of updating all of my mental software via reading non-fiction business books in a variety of fields contributed most. As a consequence, I absorb only that signal which is most effective and impactful.

We do not have to settle for that which is considered "conventional wisdom" with respect to what is possible for us.

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bligh
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by bligh » Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:53 pm

I have some time before I hit the big 4-0, but I do spend a lot of time thinking about my 40s. A close acquaintance of mine had a midlife crisis after crossing 40 where he ended up having an affair. Judging from some of the prior posts it seems like this type of destructive behavior isn't uncommon. I am fascinated by the phenomenon.

I really enjoyed reading this thread. Thanks to the OP for starting it. I too love hearing what people older than me ..(those in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond) have to say when they look back. I try to visualize myself when I am 60 or 70 or 80 (hopefully I make it to those ages) ..and look back at what I am doing now and try to guess what that older "me" would say about what I am doing right now. In a way isn't that also why we save and invest?

investingdad
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by investingdad » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:00 pm

44 year old me remembers when 24 year old me ran his first spreadsheet to model retirement and concluded that saving and investing immediately was the best course of action.

I'd like to thank him for making my life a whole lot easier.

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by lightheir » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:32 pm

I've learned that people wayyyy exaggerate how much of a toll being 40 is physically compared to being 20.

I am actually greatly enjoying my physical capabilities as a 40 year old.

Yes, it's true you can no longer take things for granted like you do in your 20s. In your 20s you can eat garbage, never exercise, and still look great. At age 40, your bad habits def catch up to you and will really 'look' like your habits. In addition, stuff like arthritis starts to rear its ugly head at this age - typically not enough to stop you outright, but enough to make you realize for the first time you're not invincible anymore and that things are in fact going downhill in your body.

That said, if you workout a lot, take care of your diet, you will suffer minimal decline in ability compared to age 20 barring major injuries. Just look at the Boston Marathon qualification cutoff rates - at age 20 you have to run around 7min/mile for 26 miles to qualify, yet at age 40, you have to run 7:20ish per mile. Yes, 20 sec/mile is a 'big' deal to a serious runner, but it's nowhere remotely close to the 'woe is me, I'm 40 I can' t run AT ALL!' that seems to be the norm amongst my 40-50 year old colleagues most of whom can barely jog a single mile yet attribute it all to age, not training. I def run, swim, and bike faster at age 43 (by a lot!) than age 18 - but yes, I definitely work at it.

If anything, I feel that being 40 is a lot more fair in terms of physical abilities and appearances at age 40 than 20! At age 20, it's nearly all genetics - you're born with a certain look, certain body type, and it literally doesn't matter who takes care of themselves and who doesn't. At age 40, all that hard work you may have put into staying in shape and having the right diet pays off in spades and is clearly apparent even on first appearances.

Superficial appearances aside, if your kids are under 9, life can feel untenably busy literally all the time, and that seems to impact many 40somethings with kids.

I've also said it before, but I'll say it again, I've been extraordinarily underwhelmed by the widespread notion that the path to a rich retirement is by just starting saving super early, like when you're literally 21, because of the power of compound interest returns. Not that savings is bad, but the effect of compound interest is often dramatically overstated with crazy long time horizons and overinflated returns like assuming T-bond returns of 4%+ (I have books from the 80s-90s that assumed 7% US T-bond returns!) You gotta save and save early, but a big jump in INCOME is the critical factor, and the earlier the better. Without the income jump, forget about a wealthy retirement. If you do have a big enough income though, saving for retirement is easy, and does NOT require at all the crazy discipline it does do save thousands of dollars of your paycheck when you're barely clearing $25k/year as a 21 year old. Income income income - fuggaabout savings your way to wealth on a meagre income. Too painful and not worth the pain, and this is coming from a super high discipline person that has been saving, indexing, and doing all the other 'right' things by the book since I was 18 (some of those well-meaning things were misguided in retrospect, oversaving being a big offender.)

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by truenorth418 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 4:34 pm

Summary of my 40s:

I worked my butt off at a job I despised until I got laid off at age 47. At which point I decided to just go ahead and retire since I had saved enough money and I was sick of working.

GoldenFinch
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by GoldenFinch » Mon Jun 11, 2018 4:55 pm

I liked my forties a lot, but I like my 50s even better. More freedom and I accomplished everything I set out to do. Now I just get to sit back and relax for a while.....
:sharebeer

(But not too long of course.)

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WolfpackFan
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by WolfpackFan » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:07 am

Thanks everyone for great advice and personal anecdotes.. This may be the best thread I've read on this site in the 8 years since I joined.

yolli71
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by yolli71 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:16 pm

I just turned 47 last month...


Negatives
- I've been exercising and lifting weights on a fairly regular basis for 25 years, but now it's much harder to look fit and/or lose weight than in my 20s. This goes along with being able to eat what you want...can't do that anymore in your 40s like you could in your 20s.
- I've had excellent vision my whole life (no contacts or glasses) until a few years ago. I now keep reading glasses all over the house!
- I get sore in areas that I never had problems with (back, shoulder, etc.). In fact, I'm a stomach sleeper and most of my life I've slept with both of my arms under my pillow. It hurts my right shoulder to place my right arm under my pillow, so I don't sleep on my stomach as much anymore (my preferred position).
- Speaking of sleep, I used to not snore whatsoever and my wife absolutely loved that about me back in the day. Well about 5 years ago, I started snoring so loudly that my wife had to sleep in another room. I ended up getting tested for sleep apnea (which I have). I now sleep with a CPAP machine (and no, I'm not overweight...though I'm certainly heavier than I was in my 20s). That said, I don't snore anymore with my CPAP so my wife is happy again.
- I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee all the time. And as (bad) luck would have it, when I got my last physical 2 months ago, my PSA levels were high and I ended up getting a biopsy. I just found out last week that I have prostate cancer. Fortunately, it's in the early stages and has not metastasized, so I have options. I'm still in the process of learning and reading up on it as I knew nothing about prostate cancer until now.
- I've had some acquaintances and distant friends pass away over the past few years. It's kind of scary when it's now people your age passing away...I grew up in my teens and 20s thinking I was basically invincible....not so anymore.

Positives
- I had two kids (well...I was 39 and 41 years old when they were born) and they are now 8 and 6. Absolutely love them to death.
- I have a very good, stable job with a nice income (along with my wife's good job and income).
- My wife and I paid off our house 2 years ago.
- I have more in assets than I've ever had and am not worried about retirement (as we keep saving).
- I have a great marriage.
- I have a good collection of close friends.
- I travel more than I ever have and I love it. We do it now b/c we can afford it (where we couldn't when we were younger), we want to make family memories, and we want to live in the moment and enjoy life while we still can. I used to have the attitude that we can travel and do all that stuff after we retire, but my wife got me out of that mindset (for which I'm thankful).

Overall, I'd say my 40s have definitely been a POSITIVE even though I've experienced some health issues. I can't overstate this enough...eat well, exercise, and do all your physicals and annual checkups. Young people don't take health seriously enough if they grew up without any health problems (like myself). If you stay healthy, your 40s will be better than your 20s or 30s!
Last edited by yolli71 on Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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TxAg
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by TxAg » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:05 pm

TxAg wrote:
Mon Nov 17, 2014 11:02 am
I'm early 30s but enjoying this thread. Thanks.
A little older now but still enjoying this thread.

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Elsebet » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:10 pm

I'm 41. I feel I'm doing the best work and am in the best physical and financial shape of my life so far.

A few small health related things I noticed is that I'm now a little afraid of falling when walking down steep slopes and my eyesight is declining noticeably.

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Maverick3320 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:39 pm

saladdin wrote:
Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:59 am
brian2013 wrote:
powermega wrote:I always tell the 29 year old who is freaking out about turning 30 that your 30s are better than your 20s. You have just as much vitality as you do in your 20s, but you have more money and you're not so stupid.

Your 40s are not as good as your 30s.
Powermega and Michaelseig, are you willing to elaborate why your 40's were not as good as the 30's?
Not them but I'll give my arguement.

In my 40's I FEEL 20 but the truth is your body isn't better. You can get lots of 40 year olds who will say "I'm in the best shape of my life" or "I'm in better shape then I was in my 20's." But the truth is they are lying. Maybe you lift weights now or actually jog but your body isn't 20. For every 40 year old who does something physically good there are 20 kids in their 20's that can do it better with half the effort. There is a reason top elite atheletes are retired by 35.

Your hormones carry you through the 20's. All you want, as a guy, is sex, food and a pickup game of some type of sports.

At 20 you burn off every calorie, can "go all night long" and twist an ankle and be good as new tomorrow.
At 40 you can't get rid of those 15lbs, sex is a mild inconvience at times and that cut on your knuckles from scrapping the car while changing the oil takes a week to heal.
I'm "only" 37, but this is hilarious (and true!).

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Dottie57 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:52 pm

Colorado13 wrote:
Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:54 pm
Wishing you all the best Crimson. I'm sorry to hear about your DW. Cancer sucks.

+1

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El Greco
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by El Greco » Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:28 pm

I am now in my sixties but when I entered my forties I made this observation:

When you're over 40 and you wake up in the morning with a weird pain, your first question should be: "Is this permanent?"

GAAP
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by GAAP » Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:34 pm

Don't blink, take lots of photos -- those kids will be out of the house faster than you realize...

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by staythecourse » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:21 pm

Great thread and thanks for restarting it.

Turning 42 in a couple of months and it has been great reading the insights of others. For my wife (37) and I we have made a concerted effort to be involved A LOT in our kids life going forward. They are only toddlers now (near 6 and near 3), but look forward to spending as much time as I can around them. EVERYONE I talk to say how quick kids grow up and am determined not to miss that valuable time. First is finishing KG and NO DOUBT it has flow by. Feel like they will be out of the house before I even realize it.

Luckily, we found passive investing early in our careers and saved quite a bit allowing us to cut back on our hours and "smell the roses". As life advances it is nice to know we will be able to spend as much time as we can with each other AND the kids (that is until they don't want to spend time with us).

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

theplayer11
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by theplayer11 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:42 pm

most important thing you can do is take care of your body. Eat healthy and exercise. Way too many overweight people who will not have quality years ahead of them because of health issues.

tesuzuki2002
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by tesuzuki2002 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:25 pm

Thanks for sharing your thoughts as wisdom.... (Some of you 40 / 50 / and 60s somethings reflecting. I am just shy of the ripe age of 37 and I make and effort everyday to be health and active... My desk job still gets in the way of that sometimes... But fortunately due to the advise followed here.. I am doing very well financially and don't see any NEED why I will have to work a regular job in my 40s at this point.

I am anticipating easily having the time to take care of my parents and to spend much time with and teach my son all that I've learned hopefully at a younger age!!!

Cheers to all of you! Thanks for sharing.

On a side note. I ran a 5:26 minute mile the other day. It hurt a lot. I was never a speed runner, but that was a record for me. I'm not sure I'll be able to hold on to that after I turn 40... But I'll try!!!

cheers!!!

Tanelorn
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Tanelorn » Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:12 pm

So many good observations and suggestions. Good food for thought.

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Maverick3320 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:44 am

Bud wrote:
Sun Nov 16, 2014 7:56 am
Four things (which has been mentioned here in some form already):

Health - I neglected my health until I was 44 but I wish that I had kept in shape through my 30's ( was in pretty good shape in my teens and 20's). The earlier you start, the better. I weight 310lbs on my 44th birthday then I dropped 70lbs and kept it off over the last seven years. Honestly, I would like to lose another 20-30lbs.

Family - Spend time with your wife and children and make it time that counts. I have four children ages 14 to 7 and they all can be influenced - My hope is for my wife and I to be the primary influencers and that only comes with time and sacrifice. I plan on being married "until death do us part" and I plan on it being enjoyable. Rough times come and it takes commitment to work through those difficulties rather than walk away, but it is worth it.

Finances - Stay the course. When I was 40, my net worth was around $250,000. Now at 50, it is $1.5m. This was done in an incredibly boring way of investing regularly from my income in index funds, reinvesting and saving most of any windfalls.

Spiritual - Find your center. For me, it is in Jesus Christ and the values that he taught. For others, it is in other places. But if we don't know what we believe or the reason for our life, it is hard to maintain an even keel through out our lives. Hard times inevitable come to all of us in some form or another and taking care of our soul needs allows us to weather the storms of life in healthy ways for ourselves and those around us.

All the best regards to you - may your 40's be a time of great reward and joy.
Just wanted to say congrats on the weight loss :sharebeer

Nowizard
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Nowizard » Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:36 am

My 40's were very eventful. Married at 33, two boys by age 38, had worked as an employee since finishing a terminal, graduate degree at age 28. Work experience results in refining what one wants from work, marriage and fatherhood refines what is required to maintain a balanced life. Was moving upward in my employee relationship as Assistant Director and headed for the top role in a company with approximately 100 employees and realized management was not a long term goal. Left and started a solo practice at age 41 which was successful for 25 years. Avoided taking on new employees or starting a group practice, maintained control over personal time (to large extent) and never regretted the risk or outcome. Encouraged my wife to do the same, and she completed her doctorate in her 50's and enjoyed a successful career until retirement. Our 40's were seminal years in establishing what became for us a balance between work, finances, child-rearing, personal development and growth in a marriage now at 43 years and counting.

Tim

likegarden
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by likegarden » Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:40 am

That was an exciting time at work, was developing new controls equipment. Within 2 years we had to move and buy a house north of Boston and move back. There was a lot of traveling, also several times to Asia.
But I had little knowledge of investing, though did enough. In !989 there was no internet yet and no Bogleheads, learned much more about investing when I was 65 and older.

stoptothink
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by stoptothink » Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:16 am

theplayer11 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:42 pm
most important thing you can do is take care of your body. Eat healthy and exercise. Way too many overweight people who will not have quality years ahead of them because of health issues.
Just turned 37. Echo this, I am technically probably in the best shape of my life, if your metrics are combination of basic health biomarkers (BP, resting HR, serum triglycerides...), pure strength, cardiovascular conditioning, and body composition, but health/fitness/nutrition are literally my life. There is simply no way I could do the things I did 10yrs ago - work full-time, go to school full-time, pretty much never sleep except in short stints in school and work parking lots - and still function. I have to sleep 8hrs+ every night and my diet has to be on point 100% of the time or it takes me multiple days to recover from a tough workout. In the last year I've had a BIL (28) and neighbor (34) have heart attacks, and am currently watching my brother (38) greatly shorten his lucrative working career (oil & gas consultant) and his overall quality of life because of diabetes; all because they haven't prioritized good eating and physical activity habits.

It's just like retirement savings, most people don't realize how important it is until it is too late. The earlier you start developing healthy lifestyle habits, the better your quality of life will be, for the entirety of your life.

cuihang
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by cuihang » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:56 am

It's really an amazing thread and thanks all for sharing your stories. I'm currently 41, married with one lovely daughter. I'm working for a so-called megacorp company and I'm very happy with my work. My late 30's and now is quite different from my early 30's and 20's, mainly because of family. When I was in my 20's, both my wife and I were pursuing our PhD's and we didn't have a kid. We traveled a lot and worked really hard. We then had to work/study in different states (one in California and one in Georgia) for several years. I worked over weekend and left work late, just because I was alone myself. When it was our late 30's, we finally got together and had our daughter. That made a huge change on our life. I'm more willing to work for my current company rather than jumping to another unicorn company for higher compensation but less stable. In other words, I'm more risk-averse now than before. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not though. Meanwhile, I do feel a lot more things to worry about in 40's - small kid and plan for her future, old parents, plus a lot more duties at work and in the family.

That said, the good thing I love in my current age is - more flexibility at work and less financial restriction on travels/fun stuffs. :-)

My goal is to keep a healthy life style and spend more time with my family while striving to get to the next level in my current job before retirement. :sharebeer

JBTX
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by JBTX » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:13 am

.....
Last edited by JBTX on Sat Aug 04, 2018 7:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

investor997
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by investor997 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:21 am

Elsebet wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:10 pm

A few small health related things I noticed is that I'm now a little afraid of falling when walking down steep slopes and my eyesight is declining noticeably.
Worsening eyesight sucks. :( I'm now one of those people who use my cellphone's flashlight function to read menus in restaurants.

getthatmarshmallow
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by getthatmarshmallow » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:22 am

stoptothink wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:16 am
theplayer11 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:42 pm
most important thing you can do is take care of your body. Eat healthy and exercise. Way too many overweight people who will not have quality years ahead of them because of health issues.
Just turned 37. Echo this, I am technically probably in the best shape of my life, if your metrics are combination of basic health biomarkers (BP, resting HR, serum triglycerides...), pure strength, cardiovascular conditioning, and body composition, but health/fitness/nutrition are literally my life. There is simply no way I could do the things I did 10yrs ago - work full-time, go to school full-time, pretty much never sleep except in short stints in school and work parking lots - and still function. I have to sleep 8hrs+ every night and my diet has to be on point 100% of the time or it takes me multiple days to recover from a tough workout. In the last year I've had a BIL (28) and neighbor (34) have heart attacks, and am currently watching my brother (38) greatly shorten his lucrative working career (oil & gas consultant) and his overall quality of life because of diabetes; all because they haven't prioritized good eating and physical activity habits.

It's just like retirement savings, most people don't realize how important it is until it is too late. The earlier you start developing healthy lifestyle habits, the better your quality of life will be, for the entirety of your life.
+1. I'm a little older than you, and at my college weight and great numbers all around, even with having two kids in the past five years. I have lots of energy and feel great. But ten years ago I could have been this weight with these numbers and eating a lot more pizza and without sleeping.

Beach
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Beach » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:34 pm

About to turn 38, I feel like the physical stuff is already happening to me (minus the eyesight). I keep telling myself I want to be the "40 best shape of my life" type of guy but still putting it off. I used to live by the ocean and surf alot, moved inland and just can't find the motivation to do anything differently.

Kids are 6 and 7 and my 30's have FLOWN by. I can't imagine what the next decade will bring.

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PoultryMan
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by PoultryMan » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:51 pm

My 40's are now in the rear view mirror and I must say, I cant believe how time flies. Turning 50 didnt bother me, then I took a stress test and found I have some heart issues due to not taking care of myself and some eyesight issues. How did this happen? Likely from forgetting about my body and working for money, money money.

I have learned the hard way, its not just about family, but you need to take care of yourself. The 40's made me understand that I am not indestructible physically, and career wise, there is ALWAYS someone much more "successful" financially, or otherwise.
After my 40's I learned:
    • Take care of yourself, you only get one body
    • Dont make your success a comparison trap with others
    • Spend family time, your time and theirs is not limitless
    • Stimulate your mind and DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE vocationally or as a volunteer regardless of pay

mak1277
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by mak1277 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:59 pm

lightheir wrote:
Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:32 pm

I've also said it before, but I'll say it again, I've been extraordinarily underwhelmed by the widespread notion that the path to a rich retirement is by just starting saving super early, like when you're literally 21, because of the power of compound interest returns. Not that savings is bad, but the effect of compound interest is often dramatically overstated with crazy long time horizons and overinflated returns like assuming T-bond returns of 4%+ (I have books from the 80s-90s that assumed 7% US T-bond returns!) You gotta save and save early, but a big jump in INCOME is the critical factor, and the earlier the better. Without the income jump, forget about a wealthy retirement. If you do have a big enough income though, saving for retirement is easy, and does NOT require at all the crazy discipline it does do save thousands of dollars of your paycheck when you're barely clearing $25k/year as a 21 year old. Income income income - fuggaabout savings your way to wealth on a meagre income. Too painful and not worth the pain, and this is coming from a super high discipline person that has been saving, indexing, and doing all the other 'right' things by the book since I was 18 (some of those well-meaning things were misguided in retrospect, oversaving being a big offender.)
You should start a thread with this concept...you'll get a lot of pushback but I happen to agree with you 100%.

Rupert
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Rupert » Wed Jun 13, 2018 1:08 pm

I think my 40s have been like my 2nd year of law school. There's this saying (I'm sure every lawyer and law student has heard it a million times): In the first year of law school, they scare you to death. In the second year, they work you to death. In the third year, they bore you to death. They say that about the second year not because the classroom work is greater or harder, but because you have a ton of other stuff going on in addition to the classroom work: job hunting, journal, moot court, mock trial, etc. I have found my 40s to be like that. While my actual job obligations have remained about the same (and have actually become less stressful as my confidence in my knowledge and abilities has increased), my family obligations have increased exponentially as my kids have reached the tail end of elementary school, and my community obligations have increased as well. Once you reach your 40s, I guess you begin to look distinguished enough, or are thought to have enough expertise, to serve on corporate, nonprofit, and community organization boards, etc. That stuff starts to eat up a lot of free time.

As for physical health, I agree with most everyone else. It's a rare person who makes it through the decade without developing at least one ailment that will plague you the rest of your life, and it really does feel like your final chance to get your physical house in order before you truly confront the perils of aging. Even if you emerge personally unscathed, you begin to see what happens to your contemporaries who didn't take care of themselves in earlier decades and you begin to lose your family -- your parents, their siblings, etc. It's really hard to explain to someone who hasn't lost a parent how exposed to the world that loss leaves you feeling. Those of you who've been there I'm sure will understand.

mancich
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by mancich » Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:51 pm

PoultryMan wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:51 pm
My 40's are now in the rear view mirror and I must say, I cant believe how time flies. Turning 50 didnt bother me, then I took a stress test and found I have some heart issues due to not taking care of myself and some eyesight issues. How did this happen? Likely from forgetting about my body and working for money, money money.

I have learned the hard way, its not just about family, but you need to take care of yourself. The 40's made me understand that I am not indestructible physically, and career wise, there is ALWAYS someone much more "successful" financially, or otherwise.
After my 40's I learned:
    • Take care of yourself, you only get one body
    • Dont make your success a comparison trap with others
    • Spend family time, your time and theirs is not limitless
    • Stimulate your mind and DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE vocationally or as a volunteer regardless of pay
+1000. Health and family are priceless. Of course, building wealth is important, but without health and family, what do you really have?

sailfish2
Posts: 76
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by sailfish2 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:56 pm

I am about to turn 42. I am not the most conventional 40something, as I do not have children. I have come to realize I am OK with that decision. I have a long term partner and he is OK with it as well.

So far, what I can say is that my 40s have treated me well. In my late 30s, I obtained my current job, which should hopefully remain stable. Although it's not as stimulating as I would like at times, my job in government offers a good work-life balance and considerable benefits.

My early 40s have been a financial wake up call. I made a good decision right before turning 40 to buy another house. I was caught in the Florida housing bubble in my early 30s, had to short sell, and had been renting for quite a few years. While the house was a good decision (I purchased in a gentrifying neighborhood), I have to really watch my budget in order to afford the renovations it requires. I enjoy an expensive hobby and carefully balance my budget in order to max my retirement and gradually eliminate debt. I think many people in their 40s really begin to see retirement on the horizon, while far in the distance, and begin to redirect financial priorities. That has been the case for me.

Another important realization in my 40s has been to prioritize the time I spend with my parents.

tesuzuki2002
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by tesuzuki2002 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:21 pm

It looks like there is hope yet!!!

40s are the new 30s right??

https://www.outsideonline.com/2312831/q ... ile-age-40

lightheir
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by lightheir » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:14 pm

tesuzuki2002 wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:21 pm
It looks like there is hope yet!!!

40s are the new 30s right??

https://www.outsideonline.com/2312831/q ... ile-age-40
I'd literally go so far as to say 50s are the new 30s.

With the advances in medicine, science, and training methodologies as well as the booming market for adult-participant-sports that is orders of magnitudes larger than what our parents ever had access to, being 50 means very little for age-related sympathy anymore, particularly in amateur sports!

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