ReadyToRetire wrote: ↑
Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:18 am
Simas, I am interested in learning more about your situation. As someone who wants to retire soon - even this year - I am always on the hunt for people who've made the leap prior to me. I'll go back and search your posts, but anything more you can share? You are right that certainty doesn't exist and probably a need to be flexible is important. I think I am somewhere between where you might have been mentally when you made the retirement leap and where the current OP is. He appears to be on the more fearful side. I don't think I am there, but not quite brave enough to just pull the rip cord. I'm stuck with a case of one more year syndrome.
How about your spending? I know everyone is different, but was it higher or lower than what you projected? Any particular areas of spending surprise you?
How about your level of nervousness? I would guess the first year or two without a steady paycheck would be a bit of a stressor. How long before the feeling subsided? Or did you have it at all?
The forum ate my response yesterday so here is summarized form
Length of transition - think ~6 months
-- if you lack good support (buy-in) from your partner, family, and do not have emotional support net to fall back to
-- if you are making significant change (i.e. high powered executive to unemployed bum)
-- if you lack goals and purpose and understanding of what you are doing, and why. You now have time, what are you doing with it?
-- if you allow emotional state (depression, resentment, self loathing ,etc) to overtake you. You will feel it (which is ok), but always have to remember that it is temporary, natural, and very transitory. see points above (having goals, knowing purpose, and having support)
-- this ties directly with low self esteem. transitions are hard, and if you do not love/like yourself, you make them even harder.
-faster and better transitions
-- if you spouse (critical!) and family understands, and ideally supports your choices
-- if you have something you are looking forward to (running towards something and not just running away from stress/toxic environment/etc)
-- being honest with yourself, being confident in our decisions , and being able to answer who am I and why am I here? Is it really to deliver some budget improvement, vendor contract renegotiation, this alignment or that strategy? do i live to work or work(ed) so I can live? what does it mean for me to live?
in my case it was significant jump (financial service executive with control over 8 digit annual budgets, 75%+ travel cross country, culmination of 20 year career to stay at home father). I knew I really wanted to be with my kids now and not later, and knew extremely well that no amount of money would ever make them 4,5,6 year olds again. If I miss that time, if I missed being with them, I missed it, no redo.
i went through all of the stages of mourning (including bargaining), dealt with fears of 'we don't have enough!" which now looking back were crazy. if one thing I regret is not doing that earlier and being with my kids (who are still very small) more..
finances are the easiest thing compare to mental and emotional state
- the calculations are extremely conservative and believe you will not earn a penny in your life, ever again, for the rest of your life. this is simply not true. there is always work if you want work or income.
- the fears of money coming out and no money coming in therefore we will starve soon, are irrational. i looked at my monthly spend , looked at investment portfolio, divided second by the first and stared at high triple digit number. math works, even in worst case scenario, it is much more likely I would be dead before I run out of money