Books on managing (household) finances for couples

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Lafder
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Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Lafder » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:15 pm

Any suggestions on an easy read to help a busy couple get more on the same page with $$. The problem is budgeting and decision making/communication. Overall income is high.
lafder

PFInterest
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by PFInterest » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:27 pm

Probably don't need to read. More like talk....

ThePrince
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by ThePrince » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:28 pm

The Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey.

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BL
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by BL » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:50 am

I learned from Jane Bryant Quinn over the years. She has a book that is really a reference for many personal finance questions:
Making the Most of Your Money Now: The Classic Bestseller Completely Revised for the New Economy Hardcover – December 29, 2009
by Jane Bryant Quinn (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars 76 customer reviews (Amazon)
There are some used books available at Amazon and elsewhere. Your local library probably has it as well. It may be best to read a subject at a time.

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Fletch
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Fletch » Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:17 am

This may sound overly simplistic but it might be helpful to get you started.

1. Jointly decide the percentage of net income each month that you wish to give to charity.
2. Jointly decide the percentage of net income each month that you wish to save for long term needs, e.g. retirement.
3. Jointly decide the percentage of net income each month that you wish to save for shorter term needs, e.g. home repair, vehicles, college for children, travel and vacations.
4. Jointly decide what percentage of the remaining money is for you and what percentage is for your spouse. Spend only that amount each month and do not spend more unless it is an urgent, true emergency. If you do have to spend more, replace it the following month in whichever fund you borrowed from (2 or 3 above).

Best wishes!
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.

Shallowpockets
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Shallowpockets » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:47 am

The only book we ever needed was a checkbook. All our finances are separate. The checkbook has two columns, his, hers, total. This checkbook is only used for the unusual things we might need a check. Or to balance against a payment that comes straight out of the checking account.
For 37 years we have done it this way. Her finances, IRSs, ROTHs, other investments, bank accounts are all seperate from mine. Paychecks were into our own accounts, not joint accounts. All things in life split evenly. Our lives are "Dutch".
Sure we talk about money all the time, in good ways. Because it has to come up when it is Dutch and you have to reconcile bills, etc. Part and parcel of the equation.
If people are in a joint account, there is no need for accounting. No need to talk. It all just rolls in and out. Can get away from you that way.
You can get finance books and read all you want, but unless you talk about it, it is maybe more one sided than you would like.
Clarity is honesty and engagement.

runner540
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by runner540 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:59 pm

PFInterest wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:27 pm
Probably don't need to read. More like talk....
+1
Sounds like a good time to bring in a third party (counselor/clergy) to help with better ways to communicate and make decisions.

Beachdrinks
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Beachdrinks » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:10 pm

In the exact same boat with my wife. You'll get some flippant responses on this board - ignore them, they aren't helpful.

Are you guys married? I can say for 6 years I tried everything, books, articles, nothing seemed to get us on the same page. We have a very high joint income, but she seemed to want to spend it all. We tried a budget, that didn't last a month. Money is the number 1 cause of divorce, so it's an important topic to figure out.

Here's what I've learned, there are issues at play that may go deeper then one book can solve. I have two great parents who are still married, always put their children first, and never spent recklessly. If your partner didn't have the same upbringing, she may not value or understand what it will take to be financially independent for life.

I read over 50 books on finance and investing, and not one had a really helpful approach on partners and money. There are so many great financial podcasts but again I didn't find any to listen to as a couple that would help.

Most of the books (Dave Ramsey) are for couples who are in debt, which hopefully you are not if you are high income. Try everything, but the only thing that helped us was seeing a couples therapist who dug really deep into some of the underlying issues that were at play.

I read a great quote on here "two savers can have an awesome marriage, one saver and one spender can figure it out, two spenders are headed for trouble". I loved that. If all else fails see a professional, honestly just the act of actually setting up a counseling appointment sends a pretty serious message that you intend on being with someone who has the same values on money. Maybe it's not that serious and a great book will help her see the light, if you find it let me know!

runner540
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by runner540 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:33 pm

Beachdrinks wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:10 pm
Maybe it's not that serious and a great book will help her see the light, if you find it let me know!
[emphasis added] I believe based on prior posts that Lafder is a woman. Let's not jump to conclusions about which gender is the spender or needs to "see the light".

gretah
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by gretah » Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:51 pm

BL wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:50 am
I learned from Jane Bryant Quinn over the years. She has a book that is really a reference for many personal finance questions:
Making the Most of Your Money Now: The Classic Bestseller Completely Revised for the New Economy Hardcover – December 29, 2009
by Jane Bryant Quinn (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars 76 customer reviews (Amazon)
There are some used books available at Amazon and elsewhere. Your local library probably has it as well. It may be best to read a subject at a time.
I agree!

I've read at least 2 dozen of the top recommended personal finance books and Quinn's is the best.

Ramsey's Total Money Makeover is all about get out of debt, stay out of debt. Great tools if that is your situation. He also has some great tools to get talking and set up a budget. Quinn's investment advice is far better than Ramsey's IMO.

Katietsu
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Katietsu » Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:58 pm

Have you tried using one of the budgeting apps. The two that I hear the most positive comments about for planning spending in advance are YNAB and Dave Ramsey’s EveryDollar?

DrGoogle2017
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by DrGoogle2017 » Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:02 am

I used to read a lot of books from Janet Bryant Quinn. I bought her last book on how to make your retirement money last. Great financial author. She explains everything so clearly.

But I think this maybe more than just a book. Have a talk. Once I got married, I had a talk with my husband on how much we should save going forward. I set out to save at least 1/4 of my gross, this is on top of our usual retirement savings. We both agree on the same goal. Without setting goal, I’m sure we could spend more money senselessly. Without having kids, I’m sure we wouldnt be so focused.

Lafder
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Lafder » Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:46 am

In full disclosure it is really for friends.

My spouse and I are both relatively frugal and generally good in the communication department. We used to have his,hers, ours. Now we just have ours as far as non retirement account holdings, but I am the organizer and bill payer. We are both good at mentioning bigger than usual desired expenses so the spouse who pays the bills as they come in can plan for it or say if it is a bad time. Yes we sometimes buy things the other disagrees with , but we talk about it before and are clear and do not hide purchases and if it is important enough we are getting it anyway.......

Telling them to talk isn't enough for my friends, it has not worked so far. One spouse controls finances more, the other spends unexpectedly, but then the one who controls pays the bills anyway, but there is a lot of resentment from each of them.

I want a good basic book on managing finances to serve as a starting point for them to make a new system and be a place to start talking, since the current system is not working.

Maybe really just a personal finance book? I liked Personal Finance for Dummies myself years ago.

Thanks for the comments, all of them.
lafder

Beachdrinks
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Re: Books on managing (household) finances for couples

Post by Beachdrinks » Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:19 am

runner540 wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:33 pm
Beachdrinks wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:10 pm
Maybe it's not that serious and a great book will help her see the light, if you find it let me know!
[emphasis added] I believe based on prior posts that Lafder is a woman. Let's not jump to conclusions about which gender is the spender or needs to "see the light".
Yes that was a poor assumption it could of course be either side of the partnership, him, her, two hims, two her's, whatever! Good catch!

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