Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

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AlphaLess
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by AlphaLess »

Sorry to hear about your husband's passing.
Condolences.
May he rest and peace.

They say: when people pass away, it is much harder for those who remain alive.
May it be easier for you in the future.
"A Republic, if you can keep it". Benjamin Franklin. 1787. | Party affiliation: Vanguard. Religion: low-cost investing.
SimplicityNow
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by SimplicityNow »

My condolences. Thank you for sharing with us what you learned.
mancich
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by mancich »

I am very sorry for your loss, prayers for you and family
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Cernel
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Cernel »

So sorry to hear of the passing of your husband. My prayers are with you and your family.
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fredflinstone
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by fredflinstone »

Sorry for your loss LadyGeek.
Stocks 28 / Gold 23 / Long-term US treasuries 19 / Cash (mainly CDs) 22 / TIPS 8
fsrph
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by fsrph »

Lady Geek, so very sorry to hear about your husband. Sincere condolences to you and your family.

Francis
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." | Dale Carnegie
Sconie
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Sconie »

God Bless.....
I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. - Alan Greenspan
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calmaniac
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by calmaniac »

Wishing you comfort and strength in these difficult times.
63 yo,1y til go part-time. AA 70/30: 30% S&P, 16% value, 14% intl, 10% EM, 30% short/int govt bonds. My mil pension + DW's now ≈60% of expenses. Taking SS @age 70--> pension+SS ≈100% of expenses.
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LadyGeek
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by LadyGeek »

Thank you to everyone, it's much appreciated.

The wiki has been updated for the funeral insurance thread: Estate planning (External links)

I have also updated the surviving spouse thread (linked in the same wiki page) for IRA CDs held at a bank. See this post: Re: Process for surviving spouse.

The introductions in wiki pages Traditional IRA and Inheriting an IRA have been clarified to indicate that IRAs are not just for stocks and bonds, but can be held at banks or other financial institutions.

If it wasn't obvious to me that an IRA CD follows the same rules as an IRA held at Vanguard or Fidelity, others may have similar misunderstandings. Hence, the wiki updates.
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.
mrc
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by mrc »

LadyGeek wrote: This is why I made my post - to help others who can benefit from my experience.
Why this forum is the best.
By the time you know enough to choose a good financial adviser, you don't need one. | bogleheads.org is my advisor: The ER is 0.0% and the advice always solid.
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dwickenh
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by dwickenh »

I am sorry for your loss LadyGeek. I went through the same process with Vanguard last May and they were wonderful. They were able to verify my wife's passing without the death certificate. Take your time and heal your heart at your own pace.

Dan
The market is the most efficient mechanism anywhere in the world for transferring wealth from impatient people to patient people.” | — Warren Buffett
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southerndoc
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by southerndoc »

I'm sorry for your loss LadyGeek. Can't imagine what you're going through right now. I may be a stranger to you other than a message board, but if you need a ear to listen please don't hesitate to PM me and I'll provide my cell number.
Hockey10
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Hockey10 »

LadyGeek, my condolences. Your husband's circumstances are very similar to what I experienced with my Dad. Dad was a veteran with dementia who died in a nursing home while under hospice care.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us so that others can prepare for what lies ahead.
dowse
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by dowse »

Condolences to to you LadyGeek for your loss.

Amazingly, through all of this, you kept making your valuable contributions moderating us bogleheads and contributing other interesting posts. I admire you for that, and I thank you.

With some limited experience with family members, I can say that hospice workers are a special breed. There are no more compassionate and caring people on earth. It's worth reminding folks that while there are facilities dedicated to hospice care, it is a service, not necessarily a place. They deliver their services to wherever the patient happens to be. Sometimes that's in a hospice care facility, sometimes not.
mc7
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by mc7 »

Deepest condolences and thanks for your tireless volunteer moderation keeping this board healthy.
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Chip Munk
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Chip Munk »

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing what you are learning as you go through this process.

I was once a forum moderator elsewhere on the Internet and know how much time and effort it can take. It is amazing to me that you kept up with your duties here while going through so much in your personal life, and I hope you will soon be able to take some time off for yourself.
crazyapple11
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by crazyapple11 »

Sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing.
p_qrs_t
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by p_qrs_t »

LadyGeek,

Thank you for all that you have done in the years that I have been reading this forum. I’m amazed that you are able to help this group even after the loss of your spouse.

More than anything I worry about not having prepared everything so that my spouse will not struggle after I pass— my spouse absolutely refuses to pay attention to our finances despite my best efforts. It’s good to hear that vanguard is skilled at helping in this matter.

Thank you again for your insight despite mourning your spouse.
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2pedals
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by 2pedals »

LadyGeek,

I am sorry so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and most of all thank you for holding the Bogleheads community together. Without your help I can't image the forum being as civil as it is today.
Thevillianinbrown
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Thevillianinbrown »

My condolences to you and your family. Thanks so much for posting your personal experience with this life-changing event.

Sincerely,
TVIB
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LadyGeek
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by LadyGeek »

Again, thank you for your condolences.

The last two major learning experiences I can think of are posted in: Re: Process for surviving spouse.

- An HSA (Health Savings Account) owner must change contribution limits when the HDHP status changes. I was not aware of this until my employer bounced my HSA contribution limit when I changed my benefits (drop spouse). :shock:

I thought that having an MFJ tax filing status for 2020 didn't change anything else. I was wrong, so it's now in the wiki: Health savings account (Contribution limits - I added the last 2 paragraphs)

- If you are still in the planning stages, consider a joint checking account: Depositing a deceased spouse's check into a joint bank account

That should do it for now. I'll certainly continue to contribute as I've done before. The only difference is that I'll be helping from a different perspective.

What's my main scary thought right now? The "R" word - Retirement. :D I'll slow down and take my time to plan this out.

FYI - If you like lots of detail and are comfortable with spreadsheets, checkout the Retiree Portfolio Model (questions can be asked in the support thread).
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.
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Cubicle
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Cubicle »

LadyGeek wrote: Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:32 pmThe last two major learning experiences I can think of...

I'll certainly continue to contribute as I've done before. The only difference is that I'll be helping from a different perspective.
LadyGeek, thank you so much for chronicling & sharing all of what you have learned through this difficult time.
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Gnirk
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Gnirk »

Lady Geek, please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing how the financials were handled, and for teaching me and many other BH members about personal finance.
SGM
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by SGM »

Condolences from me and my family. We had a similar good experience with Vanguard when I handled a parent's estate. Thank you for the work you do on this website.
linuxizer
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by linuxizer »

So sorry for your loss.
Dug
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Dug »

In the short time I have been a BH, you have always been someone I paid attention to. Maybe I was drawn to your BH name (ha ha). So, when I read about your loss, I became very sad for you and your family.
This post speaks for the impact you have had on all of us and the love we have grown to have for you.
Like so many others, dementia is something so many of us have had to face. For me it was caring for my mother for about 6 years.
I appreciate your continued advocacy thrught this site and may your husbands fond memories bring some light to you every day.
Call_Me_Op
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Call_Me_Op »

LG,

My deepest condolences on your loss.
Best regards, -Op | | "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." Einstein
dknightd
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by dknightd »

SimplicityNow wrote: Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:50 pm My condolences. Thank you for sharing with us what you learned.
x1000
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Sandi_k
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Sandi_k »

+1000, LadyGeek. I always read the posts by you, as I find you one of the most level-headed posters here. My deepest condolences on your loss, while acknowledging that your preparation for this outcome should help your grief and loss with a simplification of your obligations.
fyre4ce wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 8:16 pm Very sorry to hear about your loss. You're an enormous asset to this community and have helped (directly, and indirectly through maintaining the excellent standards by which it is run) countless people get closer to financial success. It says a lot that you would take a tragic event like this and turn it into an opportunity for others here to learn from- though hardly unexpected by those who have interacted with you. I hope you can take the time to mourn the way you need to.
Faith20879
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Faith20879 »

Dear LG,

I am so so sorry to hear this sad news. Praying for strength and stamina for you to be able to handle all the seemingly endless paperwork and regulations.
Domadosolo
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Domadosolo »

So Sorry for your loss.... Much respect
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Blueskies60
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Blueskies60 »

God bless you and your family during this difficult time.
fm3040
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by fm3040 »

Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss.
Fogbank
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Fogbank »

Sorry for your loss LadyGeek, please accept my condolences and best wishes.
VanGuppy
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by VanGuppy »

My deepest sympathy LadyGeek for your loss and sharing your story with us. In my own personal case I wish I were even a fraction strong as you have been.
Lynette
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Lynette »

Condolences. Thank you for your work to Bogleheads.
GreenerPastures
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by GreenerPastures »

I am so very sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find joy and healing in your memories.
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LadyGeek
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by LadyGeek »

Thank you.
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.
geno974
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by geno974 »

My condolences. And thank you for what you contribute to this forum.
G
PartIrish
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by PartIrish »

Just saw this through the link in another thread. My heartfelt sympathies for your loss. I think that your husband was very lucky to have such an intelligent and capable person to care for him through his illness, and you clearly have hundreds of people on this forum who care about you and appreciate your contributions to this wonderful forum. I hope that helps as you grieve and heal.
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zaplunken
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by zaplunken »

Lady Geek condolences on your loss.
Chesterfield
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Chesterfield »

I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing all the process/info & your tremendous contributions to this forum. Wishing you well.
RudyS
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by RudyS »

Condolences to you. It is amazing how you kept up with BH during the last weeks. Thank you for all your efforts with the forum.
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by sschullo »

Sorry for your loss LadyGeek.
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Jerry476
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Jerry476 »

So sorry to hear of your loss. Wishing you strength and peace. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hulu
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Hulu »

Our family wishes you peace and comfort
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Third Son
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Third Son »

Just saw this now LG. I am so sorry for your unimaginable heartache and loss. Prayers to you and your family. I hope you find comfort in his memories and all the wonderful times you had together.
"A part of all you earn is yours to keep" | | -The Richest Man in Babylon
amiller7x7
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by amiller7x7 »

Sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing your experiences with the passing of a loved one as this information and support would be hard to find in the middle of such an event without an angel like you having shared it with us.
Moneybags1
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by Moneybags1 »

Lady Geek, wishing you and your's the very best.
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tennisplyr
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Re: Sad news: LadyGeek's husband has passed

Post by tennisplyr »

Sorry for your loss.
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.
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