Your Favorite (Deceptive) Financial Advisor Slogans

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ThePrune
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Your Favorite (Deceptive) Financial Advisor Slogans

Post by ThePrune » Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:43 pm

Here's mine, from a local group of Investment Advisor Representatives:
At GLIA we are fee-based, NOT commission driven!
From my perspective, these guys are taking advantage of most people's ignorance of the distinction between being "Fee-only" and "Fee-based".
Investment skill is often just luck in sheep's clothing.

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Swamproot
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Post by Swamproot » Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:49 pm

I had a insurance guy just last week try to tell me that "American Funds has some of the lowest fees in the industry". I tried to contain the belly laugh, but probably let out a little chuckle. I told him he should check out Vanguard sometime. :-)

Cuzz35
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Post by Cuzz35 » Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:56 pm

"You get what you pay for." Regarding fees and loads. Not very deceptive though. Makes me laugh.

Oh and showing past returns of a balanced fund to the s&p.

yobria
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Post by yobria » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:07 pm

For some reason, the classic "We measure success one investor at a time" always killed me, b/c it was *so* true. Just not in a good way.

Nick

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gravlax
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Re: Your Favorite (Deceptive) Financial Advisor Slogans

Post by gravlax » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:08 pm

ThePrune wrote:Here's mine, from a local group of Investment Advisor Representatives:
At GLIA we are fee-based, NOT commission driven!
From my perspective, these guys are taking advantage of most people's ignorance of the distinction between being "Fee-only" and "Fee-based".
Translation: Here at GLIA, we refer to commissions as fees!

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Taylor Larimore
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One of thousands of similar lies

Post by Taylor Larimore » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:34 pm

Here’s The Quickest and Simplest Way for You to Earn Up to 100% Annual Returns in the Stock Market…and a free 2-week trial. :twisted:
http://www.fitstocks.com/
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

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norookie
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Post by norookie » Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:02 pm

:D PURCHASED Structured settlements are not annuities sir. :lol: Theyre contracts between you and the insurance company. You've 500k your thinking of investing? It might be wise to buy 5 for the 100K insurance should the AAA rated company go under=(5 commissions). The paperwork says annuity on it! :evil: The unfortunate elders they prey on also, are usually not up to date. IIRC Annuities have 250K insurance on them. <shrug>
Last edited by norookie on Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
" Wealth usually leads to excess " Cicero 55 b.c

Alan S.
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Post by Alan S. » Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:25 pm

Another favorite:

"You cannot effectively handle your own investments because you are too emotionally involved".

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mickeyd
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Post by mickeyd » Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:47 pm

"This time it's different."
Part-Owner of Texas | | “The CMH-the Cost Matters Hypothesis -is all that is needed to explain why indexing must and will work… Yes, it is that simple.” John C. Bogle

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mickeyd
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Post by mickeyd » Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:52 pm

Swamproot wrote: "American Funds has some of the lowest fees in the industry".
That's sorta true as AF has pretty low ERs compared to the thousands of MFs out there. Of course, you also have to pay a 4.5% upfront commission. There's that... :roll:
Part-Owner of Texas | | “The CMH-the Cost Matters Hypothesis -is all that is needed to explain why indexing must and will work… Yes, it is that simple.” John C. Bogle

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TrustNoOne
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Post by TrustNoOne » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:01 pm

It's my money and I want it now

dodonnell
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Post by dodonnell » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:10 pm

"This variable annuity will cost you nothing ... the insurance company pays me, not you"

musbane
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Post by musbane » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:30 pm

"Its a stock picker's market"

Always makes me think of noses.

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Whiggish Boffin
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Post by Whiggish Boffin » Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:57 pm

Don't catch a falling knife.

(That is: Don't rebalance -- SELL!! SELL!! SELL!! after the drop, so you can BUY!! BUY!! BUY!! after the rise.)

clevername
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Post by clevername » Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:15 pm

I just got some spam the other day that went something like:

"we've just heard about some magical technology and techniques developed by Russian programmers that'll consistently beat the market! We're already investing THOUSANDS of dollars researching and implementing this and you can too!"

Thousands on something that would be worth trillions..that sounds legit!

sandstorm
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Post by sandstorm » Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:25 pm

"Let us do the worrying for you."

lawman3966
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Three more

Post by lawman3966 » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:08 am

1) Achieve financial freedom by investing in real estate . . .!!

(This one worked better pre-2007).

2) "Shouldn't you be doing this? (asked by prospective client, about to perform surgery on himself).

3) "Dreams don't retire."

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MekongTrader
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Post by MekongTrader » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:06 am

'You've worked hard to get where you are. Now make your money work hard for you'

'You deserve better'

MT

bearcub
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Post by bearcub » Fri Aug 19, 2011 5:32 am

F.I.T. Stocks--- the guy who signed the letter"s name is Steve Martin.
That kinda tells me something.

RadAudit
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Post by RadAudit » Fri Aug 19, 2011 5:56 am

"It's time to put some of that money (cash) to work for you."

I like to think of the reserves in money markets from the viewpoint of the quote - "they also serve who only stand and wait."
FI is the best revenge. LBYM. Invest the rest. Stay the course. - PS: The calvary isn't coming, kids. You are on your own.

filmtheory
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Post by filmtheory » Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:19 am

Heard years back from a ML financial "advisor:"

"I only make money if you make money."

exoilman
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Post by exoilman » Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:26 am

Smith Barney, "We make money the old-fashioned way, we EARN it!

:roll:

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Post by sschullo » Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:27 am

You gotta love this one:

"My fees come from the interest NOT YOUR PRINCIPLE!"

I responded: "You mean that the interest is not my money?"

The sales person was not amused!
Public School K-12 Educators: "Ask NOT what your annuity sales person can do for you, ask what you can do to be a Do-It-Yourselfer (DIY)."

JRA
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Post by JRA » Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:57 am

"We invest like Warren Buffett."

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BTDT
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Post by BTDT » Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:16 am

We put the douche in fiduciary Goldman Sachs :lol:
If past history was all that is needed to play the game of money, the richest people would be librarians.

BruDude
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Post by BruDude » Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:19 am

jvclark02 wrote:We put the douche in fiduciary Goldman Sachs :lol:
/thread

tacster
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Post by tacster » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:02 am

When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen.

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Rob5TCP
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Re: One of thousands of similar lies

Post by Rob5TCP » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:04 am

Taylor Larimore wrote:
Here’s The Quickest and Simplest Way for You to Earn Up to 100% Annual Returns in the Stock Market…and a free 2-week trial. :twisted:
http://www.fitstocks.com/
Of course you have to search for the following disclaimer (emphasis mine). No mention here of 100% annual returns.

Warning: Stock investing involves risks and can lead to loss of capital. Being a successful practice (paper) trader during one time period does not guarantee investment success during a later time period. Market conditions constantly change. When investing in securities you may lose all of the money you invested.

Stock trading and investing involves risk of loss to investment capital and past performance is not a guarantee of future results. Fitstocks.com, and its founder are not financial advisors or brokers and we can not offer you financial advice based on your personal financial situation or goals. We have not or will not accept payment to promote particular stocks. None of the information contained on Fitstocks.com or in our newsletter is a recommendation to buy or sell a particular security. Fitstocks.com, and its founder cannot be held liable for any losses that you may occur by investing in the stocks mentioned in the F.I.T. Stocks Newsletter.[/color] The information is presented for educational purposes. Further investment research and all investment decisions are the sole responsibility of the reader. The Fitstocks.com website, F.I.T. Stock Newsletter and all other materials produced by Fitstocks.com are copyrighted material and the re-distribution of the F.I.T. Stocks Newsletter and any other products is strictly forbidden. Fitstocks.com and the F.I.T. Stocks Newsletter does its best to provide accurate information, however, we make no guarantees or warranties to its accuracy.

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SpringMan
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Post by SpringMan » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:14 am

"You wouldn't perform your own dental work would you? Investing is no different."
Best Wishes, SpringMan

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Random Musings
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Post by Random Musings » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:15 am

When you see these slogans, you wonder if they are laughing out loud on who the shill is.....

AIG – We know money.
Allstate – You’re in Good Hands
Barclays – Fluent in finance.
BB&T – There’s opportunity here.
Capital One – What’s in your wallet?
Citi – Let’s get it done.
Deutsche Bank – A passion to perform.
Fidelity Investments – Smart move.
Fifth Third Bank – The things we do for dreams.
GEICO – So easy a caveman can do it.
Goldman Sachs – Our client’s interest always comes first.
IndyMac – Raise your expectations
Johnson Bank – We’ll treat you like family.
Kiwi Bank – It’s ours
LA Firemen’s Credit Union – Yeah, we get it.
Merrill Lynch – Be Bullish
M&I Bank – Banking the way it was meant to be.
M&T Bank – Understanding what’s important
Morgan Stanley – One client at a time.
Nationwide – Nationwide is on your side.
State Farm – Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Vancity – We All Profit
Wachovia – Uncommon Wisdom
Webster Bank – We Find a Way
Zions Bank – We haven’t forgotten who keeps us in business.

RM

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Rick Ferri
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Post by Rick Ferri » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:26 am

Here is one that really gets me because it tries to discredit low fee advisors such as myself and my firm:

The High Cost of a Low Fee Advisor

The deceptive website in the link above is 100% devoted to convincing you that low fee advisors provide bad investment management and advice and that paying their firm a high fee is a better choice. :roll:

Rick Ferri

PS. I wrote a response to this ad in Forbes titled: High-Fee Passive Advisor Hypocrisy. While preaching against high-cost mutual funds, some index-fund favoring advisors stick their own clients with high fees.

.
Last edited by Rick Ferri on Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:44 am, edited 4 times in total.
The Education of an Index Investor: born in darkness, finds indexing enlightenment, overcomplicates everything, embraces simplicity.

gpo account 2
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Post by gpo account 2 » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:41 am

"NOTE: The Bank On Yourself system uses generally available whole life policies and riders. The information presented here is for educational purposes only and is not a solicitation for the purchase of any insurance or financial product."

http://bankonyourself.com/

I'm yet to see the part about what happens when the insurance company poops the bed.[/quote]

Nowizard
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Gold:

Post by Nowizard » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:52 am

"Buy gold coins. Gold is up 50% YTD," stated when advertising $20 gold coins at a markup of 50% over the gold content.

Tim

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ThePrune
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Post by ThePrune » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:58 pm

Here's another one that makes my laugh. TD Ameritrade has been running ads on TV for their "Trade Architect" software platform.

First speaker says, "I don't trade on luck"

Subsequent speakers state they trade on: fundamentals, data, technical signals, etc., etc. Screen images show the Trade Architect software making it all apparently effortless.

In short (from my perspective) , They All Trade on Luck.
Investment skill is often just luck in sheep's clothing.

MarkNYC
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Post by MarkNYC » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:55 pm

Particularly on this forum, the list would not be complete without:

"Index funds will only give you average returns. Why would you want to settle for average?"

or its cousin: "Index funds haven't done very well lately."

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Rick Ferri
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Post by Rick Ferri » Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:10 pm

"Indexing works in markets that are deemed efficient and active managers works in markets considered to be inefficient."

Not true, says Vanguard (and others!). Indexing works in ALL markets.

Rick Ferri
The Education of an Index Investor: born in darkness, finds indexing enlightenment, overcomplicates everything, embraces simplicity.

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BTDT
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Post by BTDT » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:04 pm

BruDude wrote:
jvclark02 wrote:We put the douche in fiduciary Goldman Sachs :lol:
/thread
http://www.adglitz.com/2010/11/26/inves ... -captions/
If past history was all that is needed to play the game of money, the richest people would be librarians.

MnD
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Post by MnD » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:39 pm

With our equity-indexed annuities, you will "participate" in stock market gains when the market goes up, and those gains are "locked in". Your account will never decrease when markets decline.

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