Does your spouse share your views on spending?

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Does your spouse or significant other share your views on spending?

No
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mptfan
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Does your spouse share your views on spending?

Post by mptfan »

Does your spouse or significant other share your views on spending money? Are you compatible in terms of your level of being frugal?
Beantown85
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Post by Beantown85 »

Yes, for the most part. Although, what we choose to spend that spending money on is very different.
chaz
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Post by chaz »

Yes.
Chaz | | “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." Woody Allen | | http://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
chaz
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Post by chaz »

Yes.
Chaz | | “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." Woody Allen | | http://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
LynnC
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Post by LynnC »

YES! We talk over every big ticket item and we both have to agree on the expenditure. We also agree to live beneath our means and continue saving..

Our nephew and his wife were in agreement, too. They spent every dime and then some. Ended up getting a divorce when the credit line ran out.

LynnC
Grt2bOutdoors
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Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

I answered No - she says spend less (and I'm frugal). :lol:
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kenyan
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Post by kenyan »

Yes. She was never wasteful, but she used to spend more freely without thinking about it. My more frugal ways have rubbed off on her.
flowerbuyer
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Post by flowerbuyer »

For the most part, yes. We are both careful with how we spend money, though we do have our differences, of course. It's a second marriage, so we have kept most of our funds separate. He has far more than I do, and is frugal with everything except cars. I'm the take care of it and drive it forever type of person; he is the trade and buy something new and different every three years (it's his only vice, and he can afford it, but I view it as a waste of $$). I enjoy going out to a nice lunch with friends, and he views any lunch over $4.00 as a waste of money! :roll:

Neither of us believe in debt, and both of us believe in conservative investing.
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Sheepdog
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Post by Sheepdog »

Yes, that is one good reason we have survived 50 years together. Neither overspends on anything. Neither of us would spend for anything personal over $100 without discussing first....except for gifts for each other, we often overspend on gifts where we would not spend on ourselves.
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered you will never grow. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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mickeyd
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Post by mickeyd »

It's geat to have a spouse as wise as I am.
Part-Owner of Texas | | “The CMH-the Cost Matters Hypothesis -is all that is needed to explain why indexing must and will work… Yes, it is that simple.” John C. Bogle
word
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Post by word »

yes, though I'm a bit less frugal than she
jbdiver
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Post by jbdiver »

I'm a bigger spender than my spouse. I've got a couple expensive hobbies. My wife is a big saver and she doesn't like to shop. Neither of us spends money on fancy cars or big houses though.

In my previous marriage I was with someone who was a big shopper and incredibly wasteful. Imagine a closet where most of the clothes still have tags on them. That didn't work out too well.
SP-diceman
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Post by SP-diceman »

Yes, shes also cheap. :)

(though technically a girlfriend, not a spouse)
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Delayed Gratification
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Post by Delayed Gratification »

Haha, definitely yes!

My wife and I have a good laugh every holiday season when the Lexus commercials show a new car with a bow in the driveway. No idea how a spouse can justify a $50,000 surprise unless they are way richer than we are! My wife would kill me for not talking it over beforehand!
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tludwig23
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Post by tludwig23 »

Yes, although one of us feels that the other one spends too much time reading the Bogleheads investment forum webite...
milestogo
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Post by milestogo »

My spouse is more frugal than I by far. If every decision were his, we would be still living in an apt and eating pbj sandwiches and ramen noodles every day. Just kidding -- he is more thrifty than me but we stilll manage to save at least 30% a year.
wander
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Post by wander »

No.
TRC
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Post by TRC »

I believe differing views/habits on Money is one of the top reasons for divorce.
stan1
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Post by stan1 »

I drew the line recently when my spouse came back from the store with 1 ply paper products. Other than that we are mostly compatible. We spend money on a few things that we enjoy like travel but keep furniture and clothes forever.
crew
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Post by crew »

You can bet your bottom dollar that this one does.

See my OP post called "Pre-Nup" to find out why. My first time around, I bet my bottom dollar and lost! :D
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fishnskiguy
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Post by fishnskiguy »

Yes.

Money is never an issue. She says she was born without the shopping gene. :lol:

Chris
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PaddyMac
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Post by PaddyMac »

We each get a fun fund every month to spend on whatever we want - usually clothes and shoes, but sometimes a pay-per-view will be covered. That way we don't have to feel quilty about wasting money on frivolous things.
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fundtalker123
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Post by fundtalker123 »

Yes, we both think the same thing: "I should be able to buy anything I want and my spouse shouldn't be able to" :D
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FabLab
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Post by FabLab »

My spouse is more frugal than I by far. If every decision were his, we would be still living in an apt and eating pbj sandwiches and ramen noodles every day.
Ah, those pbh (pb+honey) sandwiches of apartments past. Broke and young, innocently so, had its pleasures. Now, in my sixties, if my wife is not about during lunch time, the pbh sandwich is still a mainstay. Except the pb and h, on whole wheat bread, are all organic, overpriced, and purchased at Whole Foods. :D

Oh. We would probably say that I am the cheaper of the two. Friends seem surprised when they learn that.
edge
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Post by edge »

My wife and I do not see eye to eye but she keeps her spending within reason, maxes out all her retirement accounts, and she makes her own money anyhow.
CAP
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Re: Does your spouse share your views on spending?

Post by CAP »

mptfan wrote:Does your spouse or significant other share your views on spending money? Are you compatible in terms of your level of being frugal?

By words, Yes Actions, No

I would not say that either of us are really frugal. We spend & handle money differently; therefore, we maintain separate accounts.
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camontgo
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Post by camontgo »

edge wrote:My wife and I do not see eye to eye but she keeps her spending within reason, maxes out all her retirement accounts, and she makes her own money anyhow.
I'm in a similar situation, I'm very frugal and my wife is not. However, she does maximize her 401K and she has a good income, so it works out fine.
Leesbro63
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Post by Leesbro63 »

My experience has been that when both spouses are savers it's good. And when one is a saver and one a spender it's still generally good. The ones who get into trouble are the ones where both are spenders.
Barefootgirl
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Post by Barefootgirl »

We learn by living long enough. When we met, my ex husband was a profligate spender and I have always been a saver. I always chuckle whenever people generalize about women being the shoppers in the relationship - we were quite the opposite.

He seemed excited by the prospects of finally living debt free and we did so and did well for several years, until his gambling itch kicked in during a midlife crisis.

It sunk my marriage. Thankfully, I saved my half of the ship before it went down.

As I said, lesson learned.

BFG
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gasman
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Post by gasman »

Yes. Although she is a convert. She was very un-boglehead like when we met.
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OnFire
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Post by OnFire »

I always think of "The Newlyweds" when this subject comes up. Nick Lachy said in one episode, "I have a five year plan." Concerning his wife's spending habits.

When we met she was renting a condo on Michigan Ave, driving a 5 month old car she purchased new, had 15K in credit card debt, and $0 in retirement savings.

Five years later, she still has that car, no credit card debt, $50k in retirement savings, and clips coupons. I turned my little spender into a little saver. Since her student loans are at a fixed 1.8%, we'll have those for a LONG time.

She's coming around.
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JupiterJones
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Post by JupiterJones »

I picked "yes", but really my answer is more like "sorta". :D

She does like to spend money on stuff that I just don't see the point of spending a lot of money on (clothes, shoes, fancy dishes and tableware for those theoretical times when we "have people over").

But then again, I spend money on stuff that she probably doesn't see much of a point of spending money on (computers, A/V stuff, various nerdy collectibles). I guess that makes us even, eh?

The main thing is that we both agree not to buy things we can't afford. We both drive paid-off cars. Neither of us keeps revolving credit card debt. We agree that saving and investing is an important priority for our money.

And she doesn't mind when I park four blocks away in some creepy alley to avoid having to pay to park downtown. :P

I think I have it pretty good.

JJ
"Stay on target! Stay on target!"
rjg001
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Post by rjg001 »

Speaking purely of spending, the answer is No.

We agree 100% on certain fundamentals as far as saving for retirement, investing, and appropriate use of credit. We agree 100% on the general principle of living within our means.

Where we differ is what to do with the money leftover at the end of the day when the retirement accounts are filled, the bills are paid and we have some money leftover. We have our own separate accounts for our fun/discretionary money. She tends not to spend that money on luxuries or unnecessary items. I'm more of the opinion that I work very hard to have some cash left at the end of the day to spend on whatever I want, and I'll be damned if I'm going to hoard it.
GammaPoint
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Post by GammaPoint »

Yes, I think we do. Although my fiancee is very busy with her graduate lab research, so she doesn't have the opportunity to shop much. But when I do go shopping with her she usually doesn't buy things she doesn't need.
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Dan Moroboshi
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Post by Dan Moroboshi »

I answered yes, though she's cheaper than I am (and I'm pretty cheap).
norm
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Post by norm »

My partner (of 1 year) and I entered our relationship from very different life styles. She was raised in an upper middle class family and was married to a multi millionaire. I come from a very poor family and before my wife died we lived below our income level.

Neither my partner nor I are money wasters or big spenders, we clip coupons and buy things when they are on sale. Her car is a 96' BMW bought new and last year I traded my 2000 Camry for a 2008 Sienna (bought for cash).

Our biggest expenses are gifts that we buy for each other and dining out 2-3 times a week at reasonably priced restaurants. We literally have "everything" we feel that we need or want.

We are both savers and conservative investors.
burr
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Post by burr »

Yes, we wouldn't be married if she and I didn't have the same type of spending habits. I couldn't live with a spender. It would drive me nuts. I don't see how people spend as much money as they do, so I know I wouldn't be able to understand/accept my wife doing it.

This is also something that I talked about early in a relationship, so she knew where I stood, and we are both the same. Save save save, and then have 'more' fun later on in life.

Burr
Rodc
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Post by Rodc »

I voted yes.

After being together for 17 years, we have more or less met in the middle of our initial range.
We live a world with knowledge of the future markets has less than one significant figure. And people will still and always demand answers to three significant digits.
tim1999
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Post by tim1999 »

I don't have a spouse (or significant other of any kind), but I would want someone who is roughly on the same page as me. For someone to be on the extreme ends of the spectrum (blows every dime they have, or lives like a total cheapskate/miser killjoy despite a good income) would probably be a deal-breaker to me.
foxfirev5
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Post by foxfirev5 »

Absolutely. This is a huge part of our overall success in investing and financial independence.
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TxAg
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Post by TxAg »

My soon-to-be and I are very much on the same page. She's always been frugal...living off a scholarship stipend every month at a private school in a large city will make you learn to stretch your dollar.

She helps me to eat at home more, and I help her with her retirement accounts. We don't spend large amounts of money without talking about it first. This was critical in determining if we could spend a lifetime together.
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LadyGeek
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Post by LadyGeek »

Yes. "He" is also an engineer. So when someone (like me) wants a new PC, he says to get him one, too. BTW be sure to get a good one.

I think it's not so much spending habits, but we both earn a decent salary. There's no need to ask each other's permission when it comes to buying "wants".

We both tend to purchase items based on quality, price is secondary (within reason).
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.
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