Teen allowance in HCOL area

[vveat]

My kids have an allowance, which goes 50/50 to savings/spending. This is not tied to chores, but they take care of their bedrooms, bathroom, do their laundry, often cook for themselves, and extra stuff for the household when asked. The rules we set was that they are not supposed to touch the savings portion unless it was something big and discussed with us (very rare - once for a game console, once for a donation).

The problem arises now with the 16-year old for whom the spending part ($75 a month) is not enough anymore. We live in NJ (not a cheap place) and she goes out often with friends, buys presents, snacks, makeup, etc. We just realized that she will be $15 short for next month's credit card payment. Per her recent statements, she is now running at $150-200 a month. Some of this she can reduce, but some she would prefer not to. She can't get a job during junior year, as she has seriously overloaded her schedule - 8 AP/honors classes, leading 3 clubs, theater roles, sport, music, volunteering. She did advertise to do peer tutoring but no takers yet.

It seems we are down to 2 options: up her allowance or allow her to use the "savings" portion - and I was wondering where others stand
- for a teen in HCOL area, is $40-50 weekly fun money too much? Feel so, but on the other side I see how much things cost.
- what makes sense as a rule for the savings? Maybe it's up to her, and what she uses now, she has less for the college years (for out of pocket)

[CAsage]

I can't see how she has time to shop! Going out with friends is important, but part of adulting-in-training is making those "hard" choices - like less makeup, presents for other people, snacks (hello, isn't your kitchen fully stocked?). When I was in college, things were so tight that I spent money on NONE of those things - paid my own way for very cheap outings with friends, but hardly anything on clothes ....
Yes, prices have gone up. Set what you believe is reasonable, and let her either spend her savings or go without a few frills. I'd go at least $100 per month, though, and see... Once my YA got to college, we paid all the school bills (tuition, housing, meal plan) and anything else was coming out of part time (10 hours/week) job.

[avalpert1]

The first question you need to answer is can you afford for her to spend that much - if the answer is no, it is a different question and a different conversation.

Assuming the answer is yes, you have to decide what you are hoping to accomplish through this arrangement. Any amount you put in place is arbitrary and by you asserting half is for now half is for later all you are really saying is you are giving them X now and are aggregating X for them to spend on big purchases you approve of. It really isn't similar to budgeting as an adult with a salary, and I doubt it does much to teach that. For example, as an adult you can make tradeoffs to try to earn more through a second job - but here you are (rightly) wanting her to prioritize non-income producing activities that will better position her for the future (which as a teen is the most important goal), if you try to hard to force the arbitrary tradeoff you might not like the choices she makes.

Personally, $200/month seems perfectly reasonable for her to spend. As long as she is able to keep up her school work and extra-curricular commitments alongside her social life than she seems to be demonstrating good judgment. Why mess with that?

I also wouldn't force the savings to be a tradeoff between now or college since again, the amount is completely arbitrary and not tied to any assessment of what might be a reasonable budget for college which could very well depend on where she goes anyway.

[bobn60014]

16 yo allowance? Time for them to get a job at Mickey D's , Starbucks, etc. if they want the finer things in life.

[retired@50]

It seems we are down to 2 options: up her allowance or allow her to use the "savings" portion

Use the savings.

Skip one or two outings a month with friends, and the budget will restore itself. In other words, spend less.

Regards,

[yules]

My kids have an allowance, which goes 50/50 to savings/spending. This is not tied to chores, but they take care of their bedrooms, bathroom, do their laundry, often cook for themselves, and extra stuff for the household when asked. The rules we set was that they are not supposed to touch the savings portion unless it was something big and discussed with us (very rare - once for a game console, once for a donation).

The problem arises now with the 16-year old for whom the spending part ($75 a month) is not enough anymore. We live in NJ (not a cheap place) and she goes out often with friends, buys presents, snacks, makeup, etc. We just realized that she will be $15 short for next month's credit card payment. Per her recent statements, she is now running at $150-200 a month. Some of this she can reduce, but some she would prefer not to. She can't get a job during junior year, as she has seriously overloaded her schedule - 8 AP/honors classes, leading 3 clubs, theater roles, sport, music, volunteering. She did advertise to do peer tutoring but no takers yet.

It seems we are down to 2 options: up her allowance or allow her to use the "savings" portion - and I was wondering where others stand
- for a teen in HCOL area, is $40-50 weekly fun money too much? Feel so, but on the other side I see how much things cost.
- what makes sense as a rule for the savings? Maybe it's up to her, and what she uses now, she has less for the college years (for out of pocket)

lol @ “she would prefer not to” be responsible with money by reducing discretionary spending on things like hanging out, expensive presents, and snacks. If you up her allowance, then you are rewarding her for her mismanagement. I say let her sink, the lesson learned here will be invaluable for the future.

Also, let her credit card have a very low maximum, like $300, so she doesn’t get into any REAL financial trouble.

When she runs out of money and can’t afford what she really wants, like a limo ride to prom, then she won’t forget.

Edited to add: I just noticed that you have at least two kids. Well, one of them is making do on the allowance, so HCOL or not, it’s doable. The problem isn’t the allowance, the problem is your 16 year old’s impulse control.

[JayhawkGolfer]

Bump the allowance. Sounds like your kids is doing great - I’m guessing you are in a position to help out more and I wouldn’t add this additional stressor to her life at this point.

[Nohbdy]

When my kids earn college credit in high school through free or discounted means, I pay them for it and mentally account it as a discounted college unit vs expected university cost per unit.

Having said that, those clubs and stuff are all optional.

The life lesson opportunity might be to pay the credit card off with the “savings” (emergency fund) and then pause discretionary spending for some time to replenish those funds.

[baconavocado]

I have no experience in this but I could imagine that it's quite expensive in 2024 to be a teenage girl in a HCOL area. If she's doing well in school, I would want to reward that.

[quantAndHold]

You have a perfect opportunity to teach the danger of overspending on her credit cards. Are there any CC charges that are for nondiscretionary spending, like eating lunch in the school cafeteria? If so, I would give her cash to pay for those, and then take the credit card until she’s able to pay the balance down to zero with the spending part of her allowance, including paying off any interest that accrues until she can pay it all the way off. For a kid with impulse control issues, it’s better to learn this stuff now while the stakes are low and she has you as a backstop for the big stuff. Once she has everything paid off, I would raise the spendable part of her allowance by $25, and then come up with a plan for incremental increases over time. Her allowance probably is a bit low, but it sounds like she needs to learn how to control her spending, too.

[jackholloway]

16 yo allowance? Time for them to get a job at Mickey D's , Starbucks, etc. if they want the finer things in life.

And accept that they may choose to drop some of those academic activities to free up time.

[theplayer11]

don't buy the excuse of not having time for a job. She wants money, she should work for it....most kids do.

[Nate79]

When do you plan to teach them actually how to earn and handle money?

[smectym]

Bump the allowance. Sounds like your kids is doing great - I’m guessing you are in a position to help out more and I wouldn’t add this additional stressor to her life at this point.

Agree.

In general, a 16-year old’s allowance should be commensurate with the teen’s reasonable expectations.

Therefore, there shouldn’t be a lot of static unless the teen is unreasonable—unless, of course, the paterfamilias were unreasonable, which is clearly not the case here

[smectym]

When my kids earn college credit in high school through free or discounted means, I pay them for it and mentally account it as a discounted college unit vs expected university cost per unit.

Having said that, those clubs and stuff are all optional.

The life lesson opportunity might be to pay the credit card off with the “savings” (emergency fund) and then pause discretionary spending for some time to replenish those funds.

Well said—though as a general rule, one should only rarely seek to transmit life lessons: and more seldom still when the purportedly teachable moment involves money.

[dukeblue219]

We're paying $20 an hour for 15 year olds to babysit our kids occasionally in DC burbs. How about that? I've got to think in a HCOL area there's plenty of demand there, and it's a whole lot easier than getting a job scrubbing toilets at a fast food restaurant on weird hours.

Kid should be able to pull in $60-$100 on an evening watching a couple kids until they fall asleep.

[avalpert1]

Having said that, those clubs and stuff are all optional.

Nonsense. Those clubs are an integral part of what a good college application for competitive schools look like and there is no reason for her to sacrifice them for some arbitrary dollar amount (assuming the OP can afford it which does seem to be the case). Part of the advantage your kids have is the freedom to spend time and resources on non-money making endeavors, why waste it for your sense of virtue or some such.

[avalpert1]

don't buy the excuse of not having time for a job. She wants money, she should work for it....most kids do.

This again makes no sense - she doesn't need to earn money, they appear to have enough of it for their lifestyle. It will pay better dividends for her to spend her time on academic and extra-curricular activities that make her more well rounded prospect for college and beyond.

It isn't an 'excuse' - it is the better prioritization if you are lucky enough to afford it.

[Grt2bOutdoors]

Also live in a HCOL area - while it sounds like a lot, it’s not if you are out socializing 3x a week and grab two slices of pizza and a soda. It could easily run $40. Seeing as your daughter is running a full schedule, how about a part time job on the weekends for a couple of hours to defray the costs? A supermarket cashier is making $16 an hour, 4-5 hours a weekend is worth at least $30 net per week spending money.

[Spacetime1]

The costs are outrageous now, and I agree with others here that $75 per month won’t go very far these days. It sounds like you’ve got a good kid, and she is doing her “job” of working hard at school and extracurricular activities well!
Perhaps she could receive a boost in allowance in exchange for picking up more responsibilities at home? I’ve worked since age 14 and don’t recommend it, while it instilled a good work ethic, I was exposed to a lot of bad stuff along the way. Perhaps she could start an online job, like an eBay store for extra spending money?

[vveat]

Thank you for all the comments, good to see diverse opinions and rationale - they all helped a lot clear my thinking.

To address some questions:
- the overloaded junior year definitely will help for college, especially for scholarships. Clubs also matter as she is president in one, VP in another, and youth secretary for Model UN, these are leadership positions that are practically required on college app. The volunteering is also required for some scholarships and awards, she does 3-4 hours a week on average year-round. Etc. We think her commitments are a good investment (time for her and money for us) and wouldn't cut. So any job during school year has to be flexible on time, not an easy proposition around town
- comparing the 2 kids doesn't make sense - the 13-year old gets a smaller allowance ($50 spending to her $75), but he doesn't go out much with friends yet, and purchases less (yes for snacks, yes for video games, no to makeup ).
- reviewing her spending, there is some to cut in my opinion (the said makeup, jewelry), but with friends they usually go twice a month to a ramen place ($20-25), grab boba ($7) and stroll around town. Not exactly extravagant, but adds up to over half her budget
- we can afford it, just want to instill budgeting or rather money mgmt habits for future, since her chosen field of study is not exactly a lucrative one

All in all, we are probably coming to a solution
- She'll cut down some, she was quite stressed after yesterday's review and realizing the shortage
- We'll up the spending portion to $100 a month (a couple of people suggested that level), probably for fairness need to up kid #2 as well
- Her savings portion will bail her out this time, and we'll allow her to access - but not make her whole - if used, it's not there for college
- She'll think more about flexible job options, keep her eyes open. And next summer plans to lifeguard
- I've promised her a nice bonus if she hits 1530 or more on the SAT, also a good investment

[muffins14]

don't buy the excuse of not having time for a job. She wants money, she should work for it....most kids do.

This again makes no sense - she doesn't need to earn money, they appear to have enough of it for their lifestyle. It will pay better dividends for her to spend her time on academic and extra-curricular activities that make her more well rounded prospect for college and beyond.

It isn't an 'excuse' - it is the better prioritization if you are lucky enough to afford it.

It will also pay dividends to not assume you have an unlimited supply of money to do as you please without having to work for it.

They could study hard and do the Clubs but do like 2 less dinners or lunches with friends per month

[livesoft]

Having said that, those clubs and stuff are all optional.

Nonsense. Those clubs are an integral part of what a good college application for competitive schools look like ...

I want to point out that a job (or more than one job) is also an integral part of what a good college application for competitive schools look like ...

It would be informative to know if her friends have jobs. Our teenagers had part-time jobs and their friends did as well. A non-working teenager was an outlier in our affluent area.

[andypanda]

" to spend her time on academic and extra-curricular activities that make her more well rounded prospect for college and beyond."

Having some work experience also contributes to being a well rounded prospect for college and beyond. The things a youngster learns on the job are priceless and the sooner they learn it the better.

[MrBobcat]

don't buy the excuse of not having time for a job. She wants money, she should work for it....most kids do.

To me, kids working for things they want is an integral part of learning the value of and how to manage money. When they work they understand it takes X hours to get Y. They also learn that time and resources are limited.

[Sandtrap]

to op:
Thank you for the update.

Beyond spreadsheets, Perspectives vary widely according to:
Socio-economic, cultural, demographic, and personal core experiences.

IE: one teen works at the Woolworth's restaurant washing dishes for 1.25 per hour, later, ...goes to Harvard Med.
IE: another teen immigrates from Venezuela..family financials are bare minimum...PhD aeronautical engineering...works for NASA...
etc
etc.

Good decisions, at the time, have the largest perspectives...

Each parent knows their children well and guides and helps (including financially) accordingly.
j

[ETK517]

If your daughter is too busy to get a job now, will she also be too busy to do so in college? And is it nevertheless your serious expectation she will magically become financially self-sufficient upon leaving college? Or will you then be still be making excuses to yourself about how she can't possibly support herself because she only makes $X and lives in X HCOL city and she's really not spending that much because... etc. Not trying to be critical or harsh, just pointing out there are consequences to the modern suburban style of child-centric parenting where anything is justified if it helps on a college application.

I think there is a good solution, which is: assign some additional work to your daughter around the house if she wants more money from you. That could be walking the dog or cleaning out the garage or whatever. It's not as time-consuming as regular employment but sends a message that if you want more money, you need to do more work. Then she should get real paid employment during the summer with the understanding that she can spend it how she wants to, but when it runs out, it's out. I did this in high school and had a great nest egg to get me through the school year, and I certainly wasn't sitting down with a spreadsheet to budget.

That said, if you don't want your kids to develop independence and are comfortable providing financial support to them in perpetuity, including after they have families of their own, then there is no issue setting that expectation now.

I think paying a bonus based on SAT score sends the wrong message. You should be rewarding effort and hard work, not a result that may or may not be achievable no matter how hard your daughter tries.

[smitcat]

Our daughter started working at 16 and continued from there forward. That always provided plenty of funds for he use which we matched so she could begin a Roth account at 16. She had plenty of jobs along the way, the jobs helped with college admissions, they helped with her understanding the workplace, they helped with her knowing how to move away from low paying situations.
Preparing for college was one goal but preparing for life was the priority.

[yankees60]

I "underline" this:

"She can't get a job during junior year, as she has seriously overloaded her schedule - 8 AP/honors classes, leading 3 clubs, theater roles, sport, music, volunteering."

Someone doing all of this is not your typical 16 year old who can do school and a job. This 16 year old already has a job doing all the above.

Also, in some ways, one can have more time in college than in high school. In high school you are held hostage in classes each day from 8 AM to 2:30 PM. In college you only have an average of 3 hours of classes a day. So far more discretionary hours for doing homework and working.

[greg24]

She is taking 8 AP courses, and we're talking about $15 at the end of the month. LOL.

Increase her allowance. She is doing great.

[retired@50]

- She'll think more about flexible job options, keep her eyes open. And next summer plans to lifeguard

With regard to teens working, there was a recent article in the Wall Street Journal you might find interesting.

See gift link: https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/t ... _permalink

Regards,

[DrChronzworth]

She’s fine - just increase the allowance by $20. Things are insanely priced nowadays - back in my day $5 would get you a coke, hamburger and fries.

Ignore the comments about a job - even if she could get hired in this economy (which is doubtful - labor force composition has changed very greatly even in the past few years to the point it doesn’t make sense to hire teens when you can hire adults full-time in most metros) no good university will prioritize an hourly job in a university application compared to extracurriculars and internships (it might even hurt your application if you appear declassé).

Spend that time on internships and extracurriculars.

[Colorado14]

She is taking 8 AP courses, and we're talking about $15 at the end of the month. LOL.

Increase her allowance. She is doing great.

Agreed! You are describing a fabulous student who is planning to work in the summer. You should be very thankful for her hard work ethic.

An allowance increase seems reasonable (it's not an extravagant amount) and you can use the spending increase as a learning opportunity. Nothing in your post suggests ongoing money mismanagement on her part. Don't inflict unnecessary stress on her about money if she's not reckless with money.

Also I echo the comment/caution about rewarding her based on SAT score. With 8 AP classes, she'll likely do very well on the test, but may not benefit from parental pressure to achieve a certain score. But you know her best.

[HereToLearn]

Thank you for all the comments, good to see diverse opinions and rationale - they all helped a lot clear my thinking.

To address some questions:
- the overloaded junior year definitely will help for college, especially for scholarships. Clubs also matter as she is president in one, VP in another, and youth secretary for Model UN, these are leadership positions that are practically required on college app. The volunteering is also required for some scholarships and awards, she does 3-4 hours a week on average year-round. Etc. We think her commitments are a good investment (time for her and money for us) and wouldn't cut. So any job during school year has to be flexible on time, not an easy proposition around town
- comparing the 2 kids doesn't make sense - the 13-year old gets a smaller allowance ($50 spending to her $75), but he doesn't go out much with friends yet, and purchases less (yes for snacks, yes for video games, no to makeup ).
- reviewing her spending, there is some to cut in my opinion (the said makeup, jewelry), but with friends they usually go twice a month to a ramen place ($20-25), grab boba ($7) and stroll around town. Not exactly extravagant, but adds up to over half her budget
- we can afford it, just want to instill budgeting or rather money mgmt habits for future, since her chosen field of study is not exactly a lucrative one

All in all, we are probably coming to a solution
- She'll cut down some, she was quite stressed after yesterday's review and realizing the shortage
- We'll up the spending portion to $100 a month (a couple of people suggested that level), probably for fairness need to up kid #2 as well
- Her savings portion will bail her out this time, and we'll allow her to access - but not make her whole - if used, it's not there for college
- She'll think more about flexible job options, keep her eyes open. And next summer plans to lifeguard
- I've promised her a nice bonus if she hits 1530 or more on the SAT, also a good investment

I don't think that you need to increase the 13-year-old's allowance at the same time. His social life does not yet include going out, but once it does you can increase his allowance.

I never asked my children to work during the school year, for all of the reasons you outlined above. All of junior year can be quite stressful, but senior year fall is even worse in my opinion because all of the clubs and sports had weekend obligations/ competitions/ meets, in addition to some last minute college visits or perhaps interviews.

A summer job is a great idea, and if she really needs to earn money during the school year I would suggest that she try babysitting, as that will provide the most flexible earning opportunity, but I am not saying that she should work during the school terms.

[rogue_economist]

Paying the kids for doing regular activities that they need to do is foolish. As an adult I don't get paid to do dishes, clean floors, do laundry, etc.
If she wants to spend more, she needs to get a job. Otherwise, spend less. The answer is not a larger handout, that doesn't teach the right lesson about money.

[ETK517]

...no good university will prioritize an hourly job in a university application compared to extracurriculars and internships (it might even hurt your application if you appear declassé).

This is outdated advice. Elite colleges WANT kids who are "declasse," i.e. working class, in the name of economic diversity. And they are far hipper to the type of admissions-gaming fake clubs, niche sports, overloaded AP courses, pay-to-play summer programs, etc. that have become de rigueur for all upper middle class kids whose parents want to get them into a good school.

[FoolMeOnce]

We live in NJ (not a cheap place) and she goes out often with friends, buys presents, snacks, makeup, etc.
...

It seems we are down to 2 options: up her allowance or allow her to use the "savings" portion

Increasing the $75/month pocket money is not unreasonable. But I think it is unreasonable to believe these are the only two options, as opposed to, for example, buying less makeup. If she inherits this mindset, there may be more financial difficulties in the future.

[barnaclebob]

If she is the kind of kid that would have a job if she weren't doing so many extra curriculars and you would prefer she keep the extra curriculars then up her money. $100 a month isn't much for a teen with a social life that cant have most normal teen jobs. A movie and a meal of fast food is probably near $50.

[DrChronzworth]

This is outdated advice. Elite colleges WANT kids who are "declasse," i.e. working class, in the name of economic diversity. And they are far hipper to the type of admissions-gaming fake clubs, niche sports, overloaded AP courses, pay-to-play summer programs, etc. that have become de rigueur for all upper middle class kids whose parents want to get them into a good school.

That’s only true if you’re actually poor.

If your parents are rich and working at McDonalds instead of a good internship, admissions officers aren’t going to be fooled.

I do internship hiring at my company- lots of kids with internships on the resume even in high school- can’t recall a single top university graduates who just have “worked at Wal-Mart” with no APs or extracurriculars.

[TomatoTomahto]

She is taking 8 AP courses, and we're talking about $15 at the end of the month. LOL.

Increase her allowance. She is doing great.

She’s like my kid who didn’t have a “paycheck job” until college. He managed to earn money (had $70k in brokerage), an MS, and a BS in his 4 years at Yale. Somehow, not asking if you wanted fries with your burger didn’t ruin him.

[avalpert1]

Having said that, those clubs and stuff are all optional.

Nonsense. Those clubs are an integral part of what a good college application for competitive schools look like ...

I want to point out that a job (or more than one job) is also an integral part of what a good college application for competitive schools look like ...

Actually, I'd be interested in the data on that - my hunch is that if you control for financial need, it wouldn't be true at all. I'd bet college admissions would favor unpaid extracurricular activities over typical paid jobs a teenager can get (retail, fast food, lifeguarding. etc. - obviously if you are getting paid for the app you programmed or something along those lines it can be a different story). It seems the trend on application is to consider displacing activities with a job requires an explanation.

I can tell you in my affluent area (but more mixed than some other nearby school districts), paid jobs for teenagers, anything more than a few hours on a weekend morning helping at a farmers market at least, are not the norm among the affluent crowd.

[avalpert1]

...no good university will prioritize an hourly job in a university application compared to extracurriculars and internships (it might even hurt your application if you appear declassé).

This is outdated advice. Elite colleges WANT kids who are "declasse," i.e. working class, in the name of economic diversity. And they are far hipper to the type of admissions-gaming fake clubs, niche sports, overloaded AP courses, pay-to-play summer programs, etc. that have become de rigueur for all upper middle class kids whose parents want to get them into a good school.

Eh, that doesn't seem to be how it is playing in real life. Yes, there is more of a desire for economic diversity in admissions - but there aren't many tools in their quiver to achieve that and no it does not appear that an hourly wage job gives you a leg up.
Also, it is just plain wrong to say that overloaded AP courses is 'admissions-gaming' they are 'hip' to - course rigor is now the number one most important criteria (relative to what is available at your school of course) along with GPA for admissions and elite, near-elite, and even mid-tier, schools.

[BanquetBeer]

Lots of bitterness here!

If your kid is doing good in school and you can afford it (live in HCOL, spend $$ yourself) they also seem to be budgeting well enough I think it’s fine to give them more.

Several people I know transitioned fine from having everything provided to providing for themselves. Several didn’t. But I probably know a larger percentage of poor people who never transitioned to success.

Be happy for what your daughter has achieved. She doesn’t sound entitled based on her reaction to going over budget (stress, communication, and look for a solution). Sounds mature and reasonable, much like you sound in this post.

[livesoft]

Actually, I'd be interested in the data on that -

Not exactly data, but the first result from a search (so I didn't delve any further):

Link
Among places my daughter worked: Java programmer. Model for marketing brochures. Retail in cosmetics store (got employee discount). Restaurant. She had plenty of time for numerous AP courses, a sport, and volunteer work.

Added: She also got an allowance, but I don't remember what it was.

Basically, in my experience mentoring people can do a lot more than you often think.

[zeeke42]

If your daughter is too busy to get a job now, will she also be too busy to do so in college? And is it nevertheless your serious expectation she will magically become financially self-sufficient upon leaving college?

I never worked during the school year and was financially self sufficient as soon as I got my first job after graduation. My parents viewed doing well in school as my job. I was expected to have a job in the summer once I was 16. My parents told me to find a job on my own, or my dad would get me one detailing school busses for his employer for the summer. I dithered around and ended up washing busses. That job really sucked, but I learned a valuable lesson, and I found my own job the summers after that.

My parents also helped me out a bunch as a young adult with a loan (and a bunch of work) for repairs and improvements on my first house and with a car loan for my first new car. I could've made it on my own, but the help gave me a big leg up and set me on a boglehead path to hopefully early retirement. It's been common in my family to give loans to the younger generation. We typically set the interest rate halfway between prevailing CD rates and what a bank loan would be. That way both parties come out ahead.

I feel like there's a bit too much of an 'I had to suffer, so my kids should too' attitude on Bogleheads. My parents did a lot to try and give me a better financial life than they had, and I plan to pay it forward to my son.

[ETK517]

If your daughter is too busy to get a job now, will she also be too busy to do so in college? And is it nevertheless your serious expectation she will magically become financially self-sufficient upon leaving college?

I never worked during the school year and was financially self sufficient as soon as I got my first job after graduation. My parents viewed doing well in school as my job. I was expected to have a job in the summer once I was 16. My parents told me to find a job on my own, or my dad would get me one detailing school busses for his employer for the summer. I dithered around and ended up washing busses. That job really sucked, but I learned a valuable lesson, and I found my own job the summers after that.

My parents also helped me out a bunch as a young adult with a loan (and a bunch of work) for repairs and improvements on my first house and with a car loan for my first new car. I could've made it on my own, but the help gave me a big leg up and set me on a boglehead path to hopefully early retirement. It's been common in my family to give loans to the younger generation. We typically set the interest rate halfway between prevailing CD rates and what a bank loan would be. That way both parties come out ahead.

I feel like there's a bit too much of an 'I had to suffer, so my kids should too' attitude on Bogleheads. My parents did a lot to try and give me a better financial life than they had, and I plan to pay it forward to my son.

I'm not arguing for suffering, and what I advocated for (getting a summer job) is what your parents made you do. So I think we're on the same page. The larger point I was trying to make is that if financial self-sufficiency is a goal you have for your kids (and it may not be, which is fine), then you have to gradually inculcate them with those principles. If you solely focus on checking boxes for college admissions over learning life skills, you are not likely to do so.

[2019istheyear]

I would need to know what allowance must cover. Does teen buy their own clothes? Gifts for siblings? Lunches out when there’s no other option? Personal care products?

[avalpert1]

Actually, I'd be interested in the data on that -

Not exactly data, but the first result from a search (so I didn't delve any further):

Link

LOL - come on, if you aren't even going to put in the effort why bother at all. A trite medium post that looks AI generated by someone with 1 follower that offers no evidence or support, just condescending conjecture about the working class sensibilities of admissions officers...

[Gecko10x]

Considering my fun budget isn't that high (and I have a job!), I would not increase it.

To your budget question, we have our teens set their own budgets and keep them. They create their categories and the budgeted monthly amounts based on how much they have coming in. That seems like the logical way to set them up to keep doing it once they're out of the house.

[theplayer11]

If your daughter is too busy to get a job now, will she also be too busy to do so in college? And is it nevertheless your serious expectation she will magically become financially self-sufficient upon leaving college?

I never worked during the school year and was financially self sufficient as soon as I got my first job after graduation. My parents viewed doing well in school as my job. I was expected to have a job in the summer once I was 16. My parents told me to find a job on my own, or my dad would get me one detailing school busses for his employer for the summer. I dithered around and ended up washing busses. That job really sucked, but I learned a valuable lesson, and I found my own job the summers after that.

My parents also helped me out a bunch as a young adult with a loan (and a bunch of work) for repairs and improvements on my first house and with a car loan for my first new car. I could've made it on my own, but the help gave me a big leg up and set me on a boglehead path to hopefully early retirement. It's been common in my family to give loans to the younger generation. We typically set the interest rate halfway between prevailing CD rates and what a bank loan would be. That way both parties come out ahead.

I feel like there's a bit too much of an 'I had to suffer, so my kids should too' attitude on Bogleheads. My parents did a lot to try and give me a better financial life than they had, and I plan to pay it forward to my son.

working for your own spending money is not "suffering". People who give allowances to their teen kids live in a different universe from my and my wife's upbringings. My daughter made jewelry and sold at fairs and on etsy for her spending money. My son worked for our business for his. They both played sports and had other activities and were great students. They are both frugal now as young adults and know how to save and the value of a dollar.