phxjcc wrote: ↑Sat Sep 18, 2021 7:31 pm
As a teaching exercise, yes this is a great idea.
I am puritanical enough to believe, however, that something has value only to the degree that significant effort went into obtaining it.
I have a Chef's knife that I have had for close to 40 years.
At the time I paid 1% of my take home pay for that knife, a huge purchase for my station in life.
It has moved across this country and two other continents.
Every time I use this knife I think how far I have come.
Today, I could go on the interwebs and order it and have the new one in my hand tomorrow.
It's VALUE, however, would never be as great as that 1985 knife.
This is a universal truth, written about in every culture since day 1.
I am still reading page 2 ...BUT this post nails it.
Give early or not, what I earned/bled & cried over /scratched & clawed to get is what I value most, I’m grateful for help (as an adult in 20s 30s 40s) in the form of money. I am NOT comfortable with getting an annual $10K check from Mom - even off in some distant account. I’d tell her no, thank you. No way. My sister would squander it, and I don’t want or need it.
Monetary gifts from my parents, *for which I have deep appreciation*, were for specific purposes:
- college. Big one in terms of life changing,
- a picket fence for my dog (+ Dad’s installation)
- a chimney liner for a wood stove
- $5K for a once-in-a-lifetime (I’m not really a traveler) cross-country trip
- Dad was obsessed with new tires - he always insisted and sprung for new ones for me if I procrastinated.
- winter clothes covered for me and spouse when we moved “up north”. I guess Dad didn’t want us to freeze, and we’re relentless on a budget.
Each of these gifts was a huge help at the time, not extravagant, and certainly no strings or judgement attached. I’ve never been beholden-feeling. It has nothing to do with my Mom, say, having “extra” money - which she does - that is hers. I want her to keep it that way.
Really, for me, this has nothing to do with my parents’ situations, I want the satisfaction of doing it myself! My husband doesn’t want large gifts, either, and we value being independent. I don’t want the lines blurred of what we accomplished and built vs what Mommy and Daddy handed to us. With love to the, no thank you. (I’ve turned it down in the past.) Their money is theirs. We don’t need it, I don’t need it. I want them to keep what they’ve earned, even if it’s just sitting in an account somewhere.
Just an alternate perspective.
Please spell out new acronyms. Thank you.