When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

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sailaway
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by sailaway »

wrongfunds wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 4:36 pm Another "does it pass smell taste" question about that link

12% of households (88% and over); that would be 12 million millionaire households if we assume 300Million population and 100Million households. I am having trouble agreeing to that.

Luckily, we have statistics, which can often be quite surprising when compared to a hunch.
wrongfunds
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by wrongfunds »

sailaway wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:34 pm
wrongfunds wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 4:36 pm Another "does it pass smell taste" question about that link

12% of households (88% and over); that would be 12 million millionaire households if we assume 300Million population and 100Million households. I am having trouble agreeing to that.

Luckily, we have statistics, which can often be quite surprising when compared to a hunch.
You are right! Sadly, these days a million does not go far!
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Lee_WSP
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by Lee_WSP »

wrongfunds wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 7:39 pm Sadly, these days a million does not go far!
Yes. That is inflation at work. It can be quite sobering.
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scwed
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by scwed »

Will do good wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 1:00 pm My fear is removing their ambition at an early age. I know of few friends with family money and all of them are not doing so well at 50's-60's. They got used to spending others money and savings is an unknown word for them. Their family money is running out at the worst time.
We made it very clear to all our kids early on that the best thing they can do for themselves is to be independent and not to expect anything from anyone, nor depend on anyone. Over the years I think they get the message.

We also tell them not to count on inheritance after we are both gone, as "all our $ will go to charities" (when in fact we have a trust made to give a small amount to charities, and the rest divided equally between them. Hopefully that will be a great surprise to them when the time comes).

We do gift the deposit (or part thereof) when they are financially qualified to purchase their first home, contribute to or match their Roth contributions (before they have their full-time careers), and help pay for their college and post-grad costs.
SQRT
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by SQRT »

delamer wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 1:57 pm

It’s hard to imagine that someone wouldn’t know an adult child well enough to determine the likelihood that gifting them $X/year (or money for a downpayment or whatever) will turn them into an entitled wastrel.
Yes, totally agree. The issues always seem to relate to other people’s kids. Those who actually give to their own kids are almost always pleased with the outcome. We have given very generously to our only child. We paid for her private schooling, university education (masters degree), cars, assisted with their first house down payment, private club, and other worthwhile things. Despite this assistance, she is a very hard working, successful, intelligent young woman. No sense of entitlement whatsoever. She has never asked for any of this as we are generally quick to offer. We are proud of her. She is going to get the money eventually so why not now when it could really help? We can easily afford it.
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TomatoTomahto
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

SQRT wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2021 3:10 pm Yes, totally agree. The issues always seem to relate to other people’s kids. Those who actually give to their own kids are almost always pleased with the outcome.
I am pleased with the outcome, even though we feel that a Crummey Trust is necessary for one of the kids. The BHs who fuss about “skin in the game” are welcome to provide theories as to why the child who had jobs in high school and college is the one who is a spendthrift, whereas the one who didn’t earn a paycheck in high school is frugal and wonderfully launched. I’d suggest reading some of The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out The Way They Do.

Whatever the different handling of our gifts, it pleases me to give the kids an advance on their inheritance and, not coincidentally, take $120k out of our estate annually.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
stoptothink
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by stoptothink »

TomatoTomahto wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2021 3:28 pm
SQRT wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2021 3:10 pm Yes, totally agree. The issues always seem to relate to other people’s kids. Those who actually give to their own kids are almost always pleased with the outcome.
I am pleased with the outcome, even though we feel that a Crummey Trust is necessary for one of the kids. The BHs who fuss about “skin in the game” are welcome to provide theories as to why the child who had jobs in high school and college is the one who is a spendthrift, whereas the one who didn’t earn a paycheck in high school is frugal and wonderfully launched. I’d suggest reading some of The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out The Way They Do.

Whatever the different handling of our gifts, it pleases me to give the kids an advance on their inheritance and, not coincidentally, take $120k out of our estate annually.
We can probably all agree that it totally depends on the individual. Many many examples around me where gifting early coincided with poor outcomes (whether it was the gifting that was the cause is anybody's guess) and where "skin in the game" was a positive (my wife and I seem to both fall into this category), but just as many in the opposite direction. Only you know your kids.
dcw213
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by dcw213 »

This is an interesting question and one I have been giving a little bit of thought to recently. I think we are in interesting times where a much larger share of the population has accumulated excess wealth beyond their means than ever before (not saying this is most people, just more now vs. only the super wealthy in recent generations). Much of this is due to the remarkable asset appreciation over the last 40 years.

I do think it would often make sense for those with accumulated wealth way beyond needs to gift to family or charity early vs when they pass. Many clearly do, I know I see young people without much income purchasing expensive homes - this is probably a wise decision for the family unit assuming all are responsible and appreciative of the situation. Costs are pretty out of whack with incomes right now and many above average earners with kids struggle to provide while saving.

That said, it would be extremely hard for me to part ways with my hard earned wealth prematurely due to fear of unknown (future risks) and concern that it would be squandered. These are situations where I feel it would be good if financial literacy was promoted and money topics were less taboo to discuss.
Freetime76
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by Freetime76 »

phxjcc wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 7:31 pm As a teaching exercise, yes this is a great idea.

I am puritanical enough to believe, however, that something has value only to the degree that significant effort went into obtaining it.

I have a Chef's knife that I have had for close to 40 years.

At the time I paid 1% of my take home pay for that knife, a huge purchase for my station in life.

It has moved across this country and two other continents.

Every time I use this knife I think how far I have come.

Today, I could go on the interwebs and order it and have the new one in my hand tomorrow.

It's VALUE, however, would never be as great as that 1985 knife.

This is a universal truth, written about in every culture since day 1.
I am still reading page 2 ...BUT this post nails it. :sharebeer

Give early or not, what I earned/bled & cried over /scratched & clawed to get is what I value most, I’m grateful for help (as an adult in 20s 30s 40s) in the form of money. I am NOT comfortable with getting an annual $10K check from Mom - even off in some distant account. I’d tell her no, thank you. No way. My sister would squander it, and I don’t want or need it.

Monetary gifts from my parents, *for which I have deep appreciation*, were for specific purposes:
- college. Big one in terms of life changing,
- a picket fence for my dog (+ Dad’s installation)
- a chimney liner for a wood stove
- $5K for a once-in-a-lifetime (I’m not really a traveler) cross-country trip
- Dad was obsessed with new tires - he always insisted and sprung for new ones for me if I procrastinated.
- winter clothes covered for me and spouse when we moved “up north”. I guess Dad didn’t want us to freeze, and we’re relentless on a budget.

Each of these gifts was a huge help at the time, not extravagant, and certainly no strings or judgement attached. I’ve never been beholden-feeling. It has nothing to do with my Mom, say, having “extra” money - which she does - that is hers. I want her to keep it that way.

Really, for me, this has nothing to do with my parents’ situations, I want the satisfaction of doing it myself! My husband doesn’t want large gifts, either, and we value being independent. I don’t want the lines blurred of what we accomplished and built vs what Mommy and Daddy handed to us. With love to the, no thank you. (I’ve turned it down in the past.) Their money is theirs. We don’t need it, I don’t need it. I want them to keep what they’ve earned, even if it’s just sitting in an account somewhere.

Just an alternate perspective.
Please spell out new acronyms. Thank you.
Freetime76
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by Freetime76 »

AnnetteLouisan wrote: Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 pm Just want to offer this perspective as one of many to consider. Let me say up front I’m very new to this forum, don’t have children and probably know the least of anyone here. But:

I have a childhood friend whose (lower?) middle class mother “gave her her inheritance early,” in her early 40s, to help her buy a second home. In contrast my affluent parents gave me nothing for 30 years after I graduated law school but an occasional hug and dinner.

The friend lost her job soon after and started a business, which never made much money but enough that she kept at it (might have been better if it outright failed). So the mother had to delay her own retirement by a lot to help the daughter with the second home payments and help fund the business, and there is no inheritance since they spent it early. The amount of mutual resentment and long term stress results in screaming fights, weight gain, drinking and now health issues — on the part of the daughter. The worst part is, every time the daughter buys so much as a blueberry muffin the mother sighs at the daughter’s inability to manage money, and the daughter knows she’s right. Even more sadly, their relationship originally was closer than the one between me and my parents (hence the “generosity”).

I continued to increase my income and gain personal satisfaction and professional experience through employment. Whenever I buy anything I don’t have to apologize to a soul and my relationship with my parents is relatively unburdened. I benefit from (unlike some of my coworkers) not having to help them financially and I take comfort from knowing they can help me if it comes to that. Plus I can feel that my achievements are my own for the most part, keeping me grounded. Not having outward signs of much wealth also arguably protects me from predatory “friends” and others.

Plus if everything goes wrong, my folks still have money they are leaving to us, although we do not count on it and prefer that they live to 150. And if they do, they will be able to fund it without help.

The end.
Sounds wise to me. I think you found the right forum :wink: .
Please spell out new acronyms. Thank you.
SQRT
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by SQRT »

afan wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 5:03 pm We have been doing annual exclusion gifts since our kids were born. They were not aware of the money as children. As young adults they left it to us to manage. Now they manage the accumulated funds themselves. They look on it as retirement, education for their kids or house down payment money. The only one who has bought a house so far did not touch it, using only money they had saved. We are probably going to fund irrevocable trusts to get the money and future growth out of our estates.

We are not worried about the money ruining them. People talk about this constantly but I see no evidence that people who grow up in comfortable surroundings and inherit money do worse on average than those who do not. Quite the reverse, in fact. For example, physicians- who have to work hard through high school and college just to get in to med school- the average parental income is far above the national mean.

Of course most self made rich people grew up in families with lesser means. Almost everyone has lesser means than the more wealthy households. The real question is whether those who grow up with advantages do worse than those who do not. Growing up comfortable and having your education paid for make you more likely to succeed. Not less.
This reflects our experience. In a previous post I described our significant giving to our only daughter. In my case, I received very little from my middle class parents. Paid for my own education and it was extremely difficult, almost quit several times. Worked full time went to university at night for 10 years. My ‘20’s were a blur, but I got lucky. Things worked out very well, but I really could have used some help.

For every self made millionaire there are many others who don’t succeed to the same degree but we don’t often hear from them on this site. Ie “I didn’t get any help and despite that didn’t do very well”?

In my opinion, the value of “struggling” is overrated. I want my daughter to have as many advantages as I can reasonably provide. Of course, this is all predicated on knowing she is a responsible adult. If she wasn’t I would do things much differently.
smitcat
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by smitcat »

SQRT wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2021 3:10 pm
delamer wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 1:57 pm

It’s hard to imagine that someone wouldn’t know an adult child well enough to determine the likelihood that gifting them $X/year (or money for a downpayment or whatever) will turn them into an entitled wastrel.
Yes, totally agree. The issues always seem to relate to other people’s kids. Those who actually give to their own kids are almost always pleased with the outcome. We have given very generously to our only child. We paid for her private schooling, university education (masters degree), cars, assisted with their first house down payment, private club, and other worthwhile things. Despite this assistance, she is a very hard working, successful, intelligent young woman. No sense of entitlement whatsoever. She has never asked for any of this as we are generally quick to offer. We are proud of her. She is going to get the money eventually so why not now when it could really help? We can easily afford it.
Agreed as well - our results are very positive as well.
sailaway
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by sailaway »

smitcat wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 7:19 am
SQRT wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2021 3:10 pm
delamer wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 1:57 pm

It’s hard to imagine that someone wouldn’t know an adult child well enough to determine the likelihood that gifting them $X/year (or money for a downpayment or whatever) will turn them into an entitled wastrel.
Yes, totally agree. The issues always seem to relate to other people’s kids. Those who actually give to their own kids are almost always pleased with the outcome. We have given very generously to our only child. We paid for her private schooling, university education (masters degree), cars, assisted with their first house down payment, private club, and other worthwhile things. Despite this assistance, she is a very hard working, successful, intelligent young woman. No sense of entitlement whatsoever. She has never asked for any of this as we are generally quick to offer. We are proud of her. She is going to get the money eventually so why not now when it could really help? We can easily afford it.
Agreed as well - our results are very positive as well.
Some people engage in self fulfilling prophecies. The IL's give lots of money to the child who struggles the most, because you can't let the grandkids suffer, then question their own parenting and tell everyone how handouts ruin people. Since it is their own fault that this one kid isn't more financially responsible, they now feel responsible, down to making sure they leave enough of an inheritance to fund retirement for that offspring and their spouse.

Since they other two haven't had the same struggles, it must be because they didn't get the EOC.
wrongfunds
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by wrongfunds »

I suspect the folks for which giving to their own kids resulted in bad outcome are either not on this forum or are silent. May be that is why all the first hand accounts are positive but all the second hand accounts are negative. Even on an anonymous forum, it is hard to admit flaws in our kids, may be that reflects badly on our parenting skills?
SQRT
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by SQRT »

wrongfunds wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:26 am I suspect the folks for which giving to their own kids resulted in bad outcome are either not on this forum or are silent. May be that is why all the first hand accounts are positive but all the second hand accounts are negative. Even on an anonymous forum, it is hard to admit flaws in our kids, may be that reflects badly on our parenting skills?
Yes, probably true. Although it’s still hard for me to believe that poor outcomes are as common as many people think.
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AnnetteLouisan
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by AnnetteLouisan »

SQRT wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 9:39 am
wrongfunds wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:26 am I suspect the folks for which giving to their own kids resulted in bad outcome are either not on this forum or are silent. May be that is why all the first hand accounts are positive but all the second hand accounts are negative. Even on an anonymous forum, it is hard to admit flaws in our kids, may be that reflects badly on our parenting skills?
Yes, probably true. Although it’s still hard for me to believe that poor outcomes are as common as many people think.
That’s my cue for another story.... 😂
MarkerFM
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by MarkerFM »

wrongfunds wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:26 am I suspect the folks for which giving to their own kids resulted in bad outcome are either not on this forum or are silent. May be that is why all the first hand accounts are positive but all the second hand accounts are negative. Even on an anonymous forum, it is hard to admit flaws in our kids, may be that reflects badly on our parenting skills?
We kind of fit into this category. We gave our very young adult children a meaningful cash gift and explained we wanted them to save/invest it. Neither did. We paused giving for awhile and explained why. Not necessarily a bad outcome, but not a good one, either.

Then, realizing we really needed to get money out of the estate but not wanting them to spend what we gave them, we created trusts and are gifting to the max to those. They can't touch the money until they are 40, but can ask the trustee (me) for distributions. One received half the down payment for their first house from the trust.
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Lee_WSP
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by Lee_WSP »

I am unaware of any studies on the effects of gifting money to adult children. I am also at a loss as to how a researcher would even be able to objectively quantify a good outcome from a bad outcome.

The only studies I am aware of on this matter are the ones with a focus on universal basic income. In those studies not all the results are positive, but a lot of them are (the majority).

There's no clear cut answer as to whether one will achieve a good result or not. It probably depends heavily on what the goal post is. It will always be a very personal decision. The one thing that remains the same is time. You can't gift anything after you're dead and you can only gift up to the existing annual limit without using up some of your lifetime exemption.
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AnnetteLouisan
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by AnnetteLouisan »

Lee_WSP wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 3:47 pm I am unaware of any studies on the effects of gifting money to adult children. I am also at a loss as to how a researcher would even be able to objectively quantify a good outcome from a bad outcome.

The only studies I am aware of on this matter are the ones with a focus on universal basic income. In those studies not all the results are positive, but a lot of them are (the majority).

There's no clear cut answer as to whether one will achieve a good result or not. It probably depends heavily on what the goal post is. It will always be a very personal decision. The one thing that remains the same is time. You can't gift anything after you're dead and you can only gift up to the existing annual limit without using up some of your lifetime exemption.
As mentioned earlier, I have no insight into the issues being discussed here, or into any other issue. But I commend the film “Born Rich” to your attention. By J&J heir Jamie Johnson. Chronicles his friends’ experiences being born into affluence. Common themes throughout —his themes, not mine, and no reflection on the fine families of people on this board — are A) lack of motivation; B) lack of willingness to stick it out through the “tough parts” of school and work, because obviously they don’t have to, and C) resentment at their reliance on their wealthier parents - the feeling of being kept, as Harry Windsor recently articulated with poignancy.

To some extent, the film isn’t about the issue you are discussing - when and how much to give to adult offspring. The tie in is the link to money disincentivizing initiative and failing to foster resilience and the satisfaction of independent accomplishment.
theplayer11
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by theplayer11 »

As a successful small business owner I can say that my success is much more satisfying not being handed $$$.
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Lee_WSP
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by Lee_WSP »

AnnetteLouisan wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 4:03 pm
Lee_WSP wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 3:47 pm I am unaware of any studies on the effects of gifting money to adult children. I am also at a loss as to how a researcher would even be able to objectively quantify a good outcome from a bad outcome.

The only studies I am aware of on this matter are the ones with a focus on universal basic income. In those studies not all the results are positive, but a lot of them are (the majority).

There's no clear cut answer as to whether one will achieve a good result or not. It probably depends heavily on what the goal post is. It will always be a very personal decision. The one thing that remains the same is time. You can't gift anything after you're dead and you can only gift up to the existing annual limit without using up some of your lifetime exemption.
As mentioned earlier, I have no insight into the issues being discussed here, or into any other issue. But I commend the film “Born Rich” to your attention. By J&J heir Jamie Johnson. Chronicles his friends’ experiences being born into affluence. Common themes throughout —his themes, not mine, and no reflection on the fine families of people on this board — are A) lack of motivation; B) lack of willingness to stick it out through the “tough parts” of school and work, because obviously they don’t have to, and C) resentment at their reliance on their wealthier parents - the feeling of being kept, as Harry Windsor recently articulated with poignancy.

To some extent, the film isn’t about the issue you are discussing - when and how much to give to adult offspring. The tie in is the link to money disincentivizing initiative and failing to foster resilience and the satisfaction of independent accomplishment.
The devil's advocate argument is as follows: With that much wealth, it does disincentivize initiative because in order to attain a vast fortune one must necessarily take risks. When one is born into such a family, the goal is not to take risks, but to maintain the status quo. They've already won. They can certainly go out and do things in sports and the like, but as far as financial pursuits, the strategy is wealth preservation, not wealth building.

As far as Harry goes, it's a similar problem. His job has always been to preserve the status quo; that's what the monarchy is (don't rock the boat or they'll vote us off the island). Whether that's good or bad, I do not opine. I think everyone runs the risk of simply not being satisfied with their lot in life regardless of their social status. It's not a rich or poor problem.

Edit
Which does get me thinking that perhaps the "bad" outcomes are only bad because the children didn't do what we or their parents wanted them to do. Barring spending it on drugs or gambling, I'm not in a position to cast stones.
Last edited by Lee_WSP on Sat Sep 25, 2021 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
flyingaway
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by flyingaway »

Interesting discussions. There is another thread currently running, entitled:

Please help my parents give away $3 million

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=358702

Hope that gift will have a good outcome.
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by nigel_ht »

AnnetteLouisan wrote: Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 pm Just want to offer this perspective as one of many to consider. Let me say up front I’m very new to this forum, don’t have children and probably know the least of anyone here. But:

I have a childhood friend whose (lower?) middle class mother “gave her her inheritance early,” in her early 40s, to help her buy a second home. In contrast my affluent parents gave me nothing for 30 years after I graduated law school but an occasional hug and dinner.
IF you got a law degree from your parents you probably got more than your childhood friend did from her mom.

Money represents freedom and has the potential to enable or enhance both good and bad behaviors so there will be many stories for and against leaving an inheritance.

Without a well run study it’s all just a miscellany of anecdotal stories used to promote our personal belief one way or other.

Had your failed entrepreneurial friend been successful then it would be a story in favor of giving kids money earlier when it can make more of a difference.

In any case, back to the concept that money represents freedom folks should think about this:

What do you want in your eulogy? That you worked X billable hours and died with a net worth of Y?

I’m going to guess not so while “work” is an important aspect of adult life and you want your kids to do more than party there are many worthwhile things “trust fund babies” can do besides grinding out a 9-5. While working a job is productive or you wouldn’t get paid it’s not necessarily going to be the most important or impactful thing you will do in your life.
delamer
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by delamer »

MarkerFM wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 3:34 pm
wrongfunds wrote: Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:26 am I suspect the folks for which giving to their own kids resulted in bad outcome are either not on this forum or are silent. May be that is why all the first hand accounts are positive but all the second hand accounts are negative. Even on an anonymous forum, it is hard to admit flaws in our kids, may be that reflects badly on our parenting skills?
We kind of fit into this category. We gave our very young adult children a meaningful cash gift and explained we wanted them to save/invest it. Neither did. We paused giving for awhile and explained why. Not necessarily a bad outcome, but not a good one, either.

Then, realizing we really needed to get money out of the estate but not wanting them to spend what we gave them, we created trusts and are gifting to the max to those. They can't touch the money until they are 40, but can ask the trustee (me) for distributions. One received half the down payment for their first house from the trust.
My adults kids aren’t particularly interested in investing. Although they are fairly budget conscious.

But we recently gifted them some stock shares and, to the best of my knowledge, none of the shares have been cashed out for spending.

My theory is that — for many people — there is something about stock that says “hold for long term” while cash is more “spend me.”
One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not. - Alexandre Dumas, fils
andyhere
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by andyhere »

No "right" answer here.
I"ve been gifting securities to my kids each year for about 30 years. Early on, it was just at the level to avoid filing a gift tax return. After they finished college, I ramped it up. My thinking here is to pass on as much dough to my kids as I can. They are both in their 30s now. I see no sign of them using the money unwisely. As of today, each kid has an investment account equivalent to what my wife and I have retained.
With the robust stock market returns in the past 20 years and leaving the dough in plain vanilla index funds and etfs, my kids pay significant taxes every year on their dividends and capital gains.
I intentionally avoided going the "set up a trust" path because I never was able to understand who benefits from complex trust structures other than the lawyers.
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AnnetteLouisan
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Re: When to gift money to kids -- sooner the better?

Post by AnnetteLouisan »

nigel_ht wrote: Sun Sep 26, 2021 8:11 am
AnnetteLouisan wrote: Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 pm Just want to offer this perspective as one of many to consider. Let me say up front I’m very new to this forum, don’t have children and probably know the least of anyone here. But:

I have a childhood friend whose (lower?) middle class mother “gave her her inheritance early,” in her early 40s, to help her buy a second home. In contrast my affluent parents gave me nothing for 30 years after I graduated law school but an occasional hug and dinner.
IF you got a law degree from your parents you probably got more than your childhood friend did from her mom.

Money represents freedom and has the potential to enable or enhance both good and bad behaviors so there will be many stories for and against leaving an inheritance.

Without a well run study it’s all just a miscellany of anecdotal stories used to promote our personal belief one way or other.

Had your failed entrepreneurial friend been successful then it would be a story in favor of giving kids money earlier when it can make more of a difference.

In any case, back to the concept that money represents freedom folks should think about this:

What do you want in your eulogy? That you worked X billable hours and died with a net worth of Y?

I’m going to guess not so while “work” is an important aspect of adult life and you want your kids to do more than party there are many worthwhile things “trust fund babies” can do besides grinding out a 9-5. While working a job is productive or you wouldn’t get paid it’s not necessarily going to be the most important or impactful thing you will do in your life.
Fair points, but I didn’t get my law degree from my parents. I’m not sure what you even mean by that - I was so mystified I took a while to collect my thoughts and respond. They did not discourage me from going to law school, but if you think they paid my Ivy League tuition you have just given me an hilarious joke for next time I see them. They gave me much in life, but they haven’t given me money in 35 years. Lots of dinners, hugs and advice though. This country and its generous and humane policies and individual donors to my universities gave me my law degree by the many opportunities they provided, including grants and loans, and I am eternally grateful, trying to give back every day.

PS- I would not recommend giving any child a law degree any more than I would recommend giving them a Ferrari. I think paying for at least part of it yourself gives a sense of ownership. I doubt I would have followed through actually with the bar exam and the slog of early years of practice if my parents had gifted me the tuition and I hadn’t had loans to repay, but everyone is different. I will confess that they took a much different approach with a sibling and that has not worked out well at all.
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