Should I quit high paying job?

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yosemite_mountain
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Should I quit high paying job?

Post by yosemite_mountain »

[Situation updated, see next page. --admin LadyGeek]

My boss yells at me, berates me, shouts at me all the time; he only does it when no one is looking. He is very hostile towards me. He finds fault with everything I do. He is set on seeing me fail and he is set on ruining my career. He does not give me visible projects, steals and keeps any interesting projects for himself so he can make himself look good to his boss. During annual performance reviews he always gives the same excuses as to why I'm in the same position. I think he treats me like this because he thinks I have no options and won't be able to find a better position elsewhere. 
I've had no promotions in the past six years.  

While I'm grateful to be making good money, I'm always in a bad mood and have severe anxiety. This has spilled over into other aspects of my life, so my personal life is being ruined as well. I've become a really angry person...I've had enough. 

Questions:
1. Should I quit now 
OR
2. Should I wait until mid 2021 to quit; when the pandemic is over.  


Stats
-Annual compensation: ~300k; composed of 140k base + 160k RSUs. (The 160k RSUs vest annually. )
-Portfolio balance: $650k; all invested in a three fund portfolio at Vanguard across 401k, Roth IRA and taxable
-Age: 32, CA Bay Area, single, no kids, no debt, don't own a house, renting an apartment 
Last edited by yosemite_mountain on Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:28 am, edited 5 times in total.
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anon_investor
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by anon_investor »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm My boss yells at me and berates me all the time; he only does it when no one is looking. He finds fault with everything I do. I feel like he is set on seeing me fail and he is set on ruining my career. He does not give me visible projects, steals and keeps any interesting projects for himself so he can make himself look good to his boss. During annual performance reviews he always gives the same excuses as to why I'm in the same position. I think he treats me like this because he thinks I have no options and won't be able to find a better position elsewhere. 

I've had no promotions in the past six years, my bonus and RSU awards keep decreasing every year.  

While I'm grateful to be making good money, I'm always in a bad mood as a result of the constant berating. This spills over into other aspects of my life as I've become an angry person. I feel like I've had enough. 

Questions:
1. Should I quit now 
OR
2. Should I wait until mid 2021 to quit; when the pandemic is over.  

If I quit now, I'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic as I do not want to expose myself to the virus as a result of interviewing for jobs during a pandemic. 

Stats
-Annual compensation: 290k; composed of (136k base + 154k RSUs)
-Portfolio balance: $560k; all invested in a three fund portfolio at Vanguard across 401k, Roth IRA and taxable
-Age: 32, CA Bay Area, single, no kids, no debt, don't own a house, renting an apartment 
Start looking for a job ASAP. Maybe reach out to some head hunters. I remember being in miserable jobs. Just the process of looking for a new job and the hope of a better future made things better immediately. That helped me make it through until I found something better.

Advice: don't quit, look for a job while banking checks, leave as soon as you find another job.
pasadena
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Location: PNW

Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by pasadena »

Start working on it - update your resume and LinkedIn profile, make sure your skillset is up to date and marketable. If not, work on that. If yes, start looking.

Tech companies are still hiring, albeit not in every org. Network as much as possible, get interviews. Even those that don't end up in a job offer will give you precious insight and the next one will be better.

Besides, just *doing* something will start making you feel better.
yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm Advice: don't quit, look for a job while banking checks, leave as soon as you find another job.
A thousand times this.
gips
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by gips »

can u transfer within the company?
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market timer
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by market timer »

I'd suggest:
1. Mentally check-out, be teflon
2. Do the bare minimum, work no more than 40 hours
3. Actively search for jobs
4. Get some hobbies outside work, especially exercise
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JonnyDVM
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by JonnyDVM »

anon_investor wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:50 pm
yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm My boss yells at me and berates me all the time; he only does it when no one is looking. He finds fault with everything I do. I feel like he is set on seeing me fail and he is set on ruining my career. He does not give me visible projects, steals and keeps any interesting projects for himself so he can make himself look good to his boss. During annual performance reviews he always gives the same excuses as to why I'm in the same position. I think he treats me like this because he thinks I have no options and won't be able to find a better position elsewhere. 

I've had no promotions in the past six years, my bonus and RSU awards keep decreasing every year.  

While I'm grateful to be making good money, I'm always in a bad mood as a result of the constant berating. This spills over into other aspects of my life as I've become an angry person. I feel like I've had enough. 

Questions:
1. Should I quit now 
OR
2. Should I wait until mid 2021 to quit; when the pandemic is over.  

If I quit now, I'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic as I do not want to expose myself to the virus as a result of interviewing for jobs during a pandemic. 

Stats
-Annual compensation: 290k; composed of (136k base + 154k RSUs)
-Portfolio balance: $560k; all invested in a three fund portfolio at Vanguard across 401k, Roth IRA and taxable
-Age: 32, CA Bay Area, single, no kids, no debt, don't own a house, renting an apartment 
Start looking for a job ASAP. Maybe reach out to some head hunters. I remember being in miserable jobs. Just the process of looking for a new job and the hope of a better future made things better immediately. That helped me make it through until I found something better.

Advice: don't quit, look for a job while banking checks, leave as soon as you find another job.
This is all very good advice. No one leaves a miserable job and thinks “man I wish I stayed there longer”. Sometimes the grass really is greener. Much much greener. Start looking now. Resist the temptation to trash your current boss in interviews. You won’t come off well even if it’s justified.
I’d trade it all for a little more | -C Montgomery Burns
Tal-
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Tal- »

First, I'd encourage you to take a step back and be sure a third party would see what you see. Much of this is a matter of perspective, and in my experience, a lot of people who feel undervalued, underappreciated, and even berated, are simply struggling with nuances of the job and a sense of unrealistic expectations. I don't mean to imply that this is true in your case - but I'd first be sure that a reasonable HR department would see it as you do.

I say this because second, if your boss really is yelling at you and berating you - I'd first escalate to HR. That's what they're there for. It may not solve the problem, but I'd try it before you simply quit.
Debt is to personal finance as a knife is to cooking.
stocknoob4111
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by stocknoob4111 »

everyone is different and I can only speak for myself.. if I were in your situation I would resign immediately as I have zero tolerance for abuse. I am extremely fortunate to have never experienced anything like this in my career... it isn't common to be treated like this.
123
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by 123 »

You will feel better when you start looking for other jobs. You need to simply take control of your future and the easiest way is to find another position somewhere else.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
boogiehead
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by boogiehead »

Tal- wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 11:11 pm First, I'd encourage you to take a step back and be sure a third party would see what you see. Much of this is a matter of perspective, and in my experience, a lot of people who feel undervalued, underappreciated, and even berated, are simply struggling with nuances of the job and a sense of unrealistic expectations. I don't mean to imply that this is true in your case - but I'd first be sure that a reasonable HR department would see it as you do.

I say this because second, if your boss really is yelling at you and berating you - I'd first escalate to HR. That's what they're there for. It may not solve the problem, but I'd try it before you simply quit.
+1.... based on what you are describing it seems to be blatant workplace harassment. I would start documenting everything if you are already not doing this and escalate this to HR. I would go directly to the highest level person in HR so this gets addressed appropriately without any delays.
Cyanide123
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Cyanide123 »

Why are those your only two options?

There is an excellent in between option which is to start looking for employment while you work.

If you find another job, then you quit without sacrificing financial security.

[Coronavirus medical advice removed by admin LadyGeek]
shess
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by shess »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm My boss yells at me and berates me all the time; he only does it when no one is looking
I would 100% just give notice and walk. BUT, my history of job searches is one of lucking out into a series of fortunate positions, so I probably have some partially-unearned confidence. A key thing to keep in mind is that being in a toxic situation is like eating your seed corn - there's a period after which you can recover, but if it goes on for too long, you might need a real detox. Staying too long in a toxic position can reduce your long-term career arc, both because you have a section on a lower growth curve, but also because it drains your ability to do strong work, and that takes time to recover. Not quite the same, but I had friends who burned out in the dotcom boom/bust cycle, and ended up moving back to where they came from for five or eight years - meaning they basically missed an entire growth cycle. Getting your situation under a mentally healthy and sustainable threshold is super important.

IMHO, you are correct that that's a nice bit of compensation to just walk on. But with no kids, a great portfolio, and no house, you have a tremendously long runway in terms of finding new work.

I see your point about pandemic interviewing, but I know a number of people who have moved to new companies during the pandemic. They're just working from home for a new company, it seems like no big deal.

I guess if I were in your shoes (and hadn't already walked!), I might try to work-to-rule for a few months while working my network for interesting positions. The inability to have lunch with people would be a huge drag on all fronts, so I probably wouldn't put a lot of weight on it for now, instead treating it as a warmup for the main event. What's out there, what feels attractive, what do you need to know, maybe get a couple phone screens under your belt so that the "real" one doesn't come as a complete surprise, etc.

Keep in mind that everything will probably get tenser as winter comes on. I know for me not being able to really get out because of the smoke from the fires has REALLY put a damper on my mood, and I think winter is going to be a bit similar on that front (assuming lack of a miracle cure).
Annabel Lee
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Annabel Lee »

Important clarification: do you have $154k in RSUs vesting this year, $154k in RSUs vesting over time, or did you get $154k in new RSUs this year? If the first, what was your grant value this year? I know you said the grants are declining y/o/y.

Anyway, why not interview at a firm that has announced WFH until deep into 2021? These companies aren’t interviewing in person - it’s all virtual from phone screen to managerial interview to offer to actual work.

Also if they like you, they may offer a sign-on bonus or RSU grant that makes you whole vs. the compensation you’d be leaving on the table in the form of unvested stock at your current employer.

The internal transfer as mentioned upthread is also a great move worth considering and bailed me out of a similar situation. The CHRO’s call to my horrible boss telling him I’d been promoted and was leaving his employ was too sweet.

Life’s too short. Start working on your new plan.
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UncleLeo
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by UncleLeo »

Tal- wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 11:11 pm but I'd first be sure that a reasonable HR department would see it as you do.
Bad advice, IMHO. Don't be fooled - HR is there to protect the company, not the employee. They will most likely back up the manager, regardless of how things really are.

OP, I'm sorry for your situation. I know how bad it feels but let me assure you - things are not as bad as they seem right now.
From having been in working under a similar type of sc**bag manager, the most important thing I've learned is to take things in perspective. you don't control who your manager is. it's not like choosing a partner. Even if you have an amazing manager now, it could change in an instant because managers switch jobs too. The question now becomes: how do you deal with that. you need a plan. my suggestions:
1) Set hard limits. Yelling is not acceptable and you will not tolerate it. next time this happens you should flat out say that to him. if that happens again, hang up the call and send a IM/Email explaining that you do not tolerate those tones and you are more than happy to resume the discussion when it can happen in a calm and respectful manner.
2) Consider reaching out to your skip manager for a 1:1, if you feel they are a more understanding person (Not HR! big difference here). Start by laying out the positives: you like the work, it's challenging ,you like the co-workers, whatever positives you see. then, objectively, explain the difficalties you are having with this manager.
3)Ignore any other BS that comes from him.

There is a very good chance that just the above will cause him to back off.

4) As others mentioned, do the bare minimum until this is resolved. Your priorities should now be 1)your wellbeing 2)polishing your interview skills and applying for other positions (If you're in software - become a LeetCode ninja) and only then - 3) your current work. Assuming ~10 years of experience I think you could find similar comp with average skill if your experience is relevant, even in the current environment.

This will get resolved. but it doesn't mean it won't happen again further in your career, so learn from this - don't be afraid to set hard limits, learn to ignore BS. learn to manage your emotions (harder than it sounds, I know).
I remember the feelings of anger and resentment but in retrospect - it was silly.

(Feel free to hit me up for social distancing style coffee to share some more war stories :sharebeer )
Kelrex
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Kelrex »

Oof, I've been there.

My best advice is to seek out a good therapist who can help you process enough of the trauma to be able to make the best decision for yourself.

If you are at the point of asking strangers on the internet if the abuse you are receiving is enough to walk away from a job, then it's time to enlist the support of a professional.

It can be hard to psychologically see straight sometimes, and what the right answer is for this situation really depends on what's happening inside your own head, not what the numbers say.

Staying might be the wisest move, it might also be the worst move. It doesn't come down to the dollars, it comes down to exactly how eroded your mental health is at this moment, and that's beyond our scope to determine.

There is a right answer here, and it's a very good thing asking for help to find it, I just think you need more specialized help.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by JoeRetire »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm My boss yells at me and berates me all the time; he only does it when no one is looking. He finds fault with everything I do. I feel like he is set on seeing me fail and he is set on ruining my career. He does not give me visible projects, steals and keeps any interesting projects for himself so he can make himself look good to his boss. During annual performance reviews he always gives the same excuses as to why I'm in the same position. I think he treats me like this because he thinks I have no options and won't be able to find a better position elsewhere. 

I've had no promotions in the past six years, my bonus and RSU awards keep decreasing every year.  

While I'm grateful to be making good money, I'm always in a bad mood as a result of the constant berating. This spills over into other aspects of my life as I've become an angry person. I feel like I've had enough. 

Questions:
1. Should I quit now 
OR
2. Should I wait until mid 2021 to quit; when the pandemic is over.  

If I quit now, I'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic as I do not want to expose myself to the virus as a result of interviewing for jobs during a pandemic. 

Stats
-Annual compensation: 290k; composed of (136k base + 154k RSUs)
-Portfolio balance: $560k; all invested in a three fund portfolio at Vanguard across 401k, Roth IRA and taxable
-Age: 32, CA Bay Area, single, no kids, no debt, don't own a house, renting an apartment 
Seems like you have chosen to put up with this for the past six years for some reason. If you don't want to seek a new job now, you can put up with it for a few more months.

If it were me, I'd have been gone long ago.
It's the end of the world as we know it. | It's the end of the world as we know it. | It's the end of the world as we know it. | And I feel fine.
aqan
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by aqan »

market timer wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:58 pm I'd suggest:
1. Mentally check-out, be teflon
2. Do the bare minimum, work no more than 40 hours
3. Actively search for jobs
4. Get some hobbies outside work, especially exercise
This... in the exact same order.
BTW it may do the trick if you have a mentor or someone else at your bosses level or higher who can convey the message to you boss. Someone in the business unit who can vouch for your work and praise your work ethics etc. may do the trick as well.
Dechan
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Dechan »

Annabel Lee wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 2:39 am These companies aren’t interviewing in person - it’s all virtual from phone screen to managerial interview to offer to actual work.
I am thinking similarly to Annabel Lee here. I would suggest rethinking the assumption that you'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic if you quit now because of the risk interviewing during a pandemic. I think many companies are being flexible now in their hiring processes. Asking to interview without meeting in person does not seem an unreasonable request to me in these times. If the company says no, politely thank them and decline to proceed further.

Anecdotally, my employer selected a contractor recently through all video interviewing. My group has been working from home since mid-March and we set up video interviews without even being asked by the candidates. I was involved in the interviews and some of the candidates asked about how my employer was handling the pandemic and the remote working situation, which I had no problem honestly talking about.

I am sympathetic. I too am in an employment situation I am dissatisfied with, but it is not as bad as yours. Reading your situation and the responses here has made me rethink my own situation. Good luck!
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fredflinstone
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by fredflinstone »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm If I quit now, I'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic as I do not want to expose myself to the virus as a result of interviewing for jobs during a pandemic. 
Seems over the top. Given that your view about coronavirus risk seems to be distorted, I wonder if your view about your boss's behavior also is skewed.
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invest2bfree
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by invest2bfree »

Being in a high paying bad job is way better than no job.

Iam not saying stress does not matter, it certainly does but it should not get to you.

You need to look for some other job ASAP but donot quit. Chances of Getting a new job unemployed is not good.
worthit
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by worthit »

Having been there myself and in very interesting environments, I can empathize with you.

So this is what I did early on in my career on 2 different occasions:

1. Went to HR, and then

2. Went straight to the boss of the entire division

After the above 2 steps, I got a very cordial and "friendly" call from HR. Long story short, I was given a severance in both instances even though I had so much evidence. But the companies decided to side with the managers as I was a small fish in a big pond.

So the moral of the story for me - never trust HR nor any of the managers in the company to rescue you from such situations. Of course, there could be exceptions but in general these are businesses looking to make money and not in the business of adjudicating conflicts be it self-perceived or otherwise. You need to rescue your self.

This is what I would do:
market timer wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:58 pm I'd suggest:
1. Mentally check-out, be teflon
2. Do the bare minimum, work no more than 40 hours
3. Actively search for jobs
4. Get some hobbies outside work, especially exercise
I am not looking actively, but always entertain anything that comes my way passively. This is how I now view my jobs - in other words, there are 2 jobs for me in any job i.e. one is my current fulltime time paying job and, the other one is constantly keeping my eyes and ears open looking for another fulltime paying job as I am dispensable as a piece of napkin in corporate America. No guarantees, especially if these are "at will" jobs.

Since these 2 experiences, I have successfully managed to find and establish relationships with mentors and well wishers outside of my division which has paid off immensely. So this is something you may want to pursue if not in this current role at least in your next role. This may help as well.

Good luck.
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jabberwockOG
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by jabberwockOG »

Its OK for your boss not to like you but never OK for them to treat you in an unprofessional manner. If you can handle the in-person stress and conflict, the next time it happens immediately respond with politely but firmly telling them that you will not tolerate being yelled at and berated in an unprofessional manner, follow up with email stating the exact same message- again polite but firm. Let them know that when they are ready to have a professional conversation you are more than ready to participate in constructive feedback. Let them know (again in writing also) that their next unprofessional outburst will immediately be escalated to their direct manager with cc to highest level HR management in the company. Consider carrying a voice activated recorder - a real time recording can be a very valuable tool.
Domadosolo
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Domadosolo »

Dang ! Reprioritize, to eliminate the abuse. Here is what I would advise:
#1. Start a new Job search and make it your #1 priority
#2. Everything else will fall in place - teflon, freshair, pandemic timing etc.
#3. Make sure #1 is #1, until done

Just quitting is short term gain. Sometimes you have to do it to reset.
If you don't need to, keep the income flowing while you search.
The choice is yours to make.
Last edited by Domadosolo on Sat Aug 29, 2020 9:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
AB609
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by AB609 »

1. Update your resume and start looking for another job.
2. Be a little more assertive with your boss. "I don't appreciate being yelled at or personal insults". Many bullies change their behavior when called on it. I would document every meeting with him and what he said.
3. If you interview for any new jobs, be strictly positive and sell what you can do for the new company and your desire to grow skills/experience. Do not say anything negative about the current company or boss.
4. Don't burn any bridges. I left a company once partially due to a lousy boss (not intimating just incompetent and self-centered). I returned to work with them 4 months later under several conditions including a new boss who was further up the food chain.
5. If your mental health is really suffering and affecting other aspects of your life, quit and take a break for while.
pasadena
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by pasadena »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm If I quit now, I'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic as I do not want to expose myself to the virus as a result of interviewing for jobs during a pandemic. 
I'm assuming that you're in tech. I know someone very close to me who's been interviewing with Google and Facebook in the last few weeks and in the final stages of the process with Google. Everything was done remotely.

These companies are hiring, and using a zero-risk interview process.
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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

My son’s GF interviewed for, got an offer, accepted an offer, resigned her previous job, had a going away party, and on-boarded at her new job ALL VIRTUALLY. Necessity is the mother of invention.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
Pessimist55
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Pessimist55 »

Are you not remotely working? How is he yelling at you?
Log and record everything. Look for new job. Easier to interview over zm than in person
Kelrex
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Kelrex »

invest2bfree wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:09 am Being in a high paying bad job is way better than no job.

Iam not saying stress does not matter, it certainly does but it should not get to you.

You need to look for some other job ASAP but donot quit. Chances of Getting a new job unemployed is not good.
This really, REALLY depends on how the stress is affecting the person. As I see it, there is no "should" in how people's psyches handle abuse.

Some levels of burnout need to be recovered from before the person can move on, otherwise they'll just drag it with them and poison the next well.

I have no idea if this is OP's case, but I do know that it's not improbable.
tealeaves
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by tealeaves »

Clearly you are reluctant to quit your "high paying job," but there is not enough info re: your expenses (or flexibility to move to a LCOL area) to determine your ability to switch to a lower (even much lower) paying job (perhaps remote). Also, even if your boss were not abusive, your current job may not provide enough growth opportunity or lateral industry opportunity that a single person at your age should value as much if not more that current compensation. You might have more choices than you (and your boss) think you have. I would take all this into account and be aggressive in your job search. Good luck!
Dakota
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Dakota »

290k a year, would let my boss yell, and call me any name he wants, would actually encourage it :D while sacking that cash.
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wander
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by wander »

Op, I think your problem is not uncommon compared to a lot of people. It happens quite normal. Instead of running away, I've dealt with them and moved on when time comes. Work environment is not "home" where people don't care about your well being.
100factorial
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by 100factorial »

wander wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 8:55 am Op, I think your problem is not uncommon compared to a lot of people. It happens quite normal. Instead of running away, I've dealt with them and moved on when time comes. Work environment is not "home" where people don't care about your well being.
+1
sd323232
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by sd323232 »

U getting paid 290k and u complain if ur boss yelling at u? For 290k, he can yell at me 3 times a day and beat me up with a stick, seriously. I'm ready. Sign me up
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9-5 Suited
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by 9-5 Suited »

This can be a good situation for you. Show up to work, do a good job during working hours as a steward of the company, don’t spend any more time at work or thinking about work than is required, and become a professional job seeker getting paid $290K to look around. With the right attitude and willingness to abandon the status quo, that’s a nice position to be in.

Remember to have a lot of 1:1 discussions with people in your network, even virtually. Good jobs are getting hundreds of resumes flying in.
Mindbender
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Mindbender »

market timer wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:58 pm I'd suggest:
1. Mentally check-out, be teflon
2. Do the bare minimum, work no more than 40 hours
3. Actively search for jobs
4. Get some hobbies outside work, especially exercise
Excellent advice. I’ve been there OP and these four suggestions helped me get through it.
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LiveSimple
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by LiveSimple »

One thing when I mentor tell young professionals are, "if you think that you are not treated fairly with assignments or compensation, then look outside and move on" This will do either of the following two options.

1. If you were treated poorly then there is an opportunity for you to get better in a different place.
2. If you are unable to find a better job, then you know that you are the reason and you are blaming on the manager or the company, this will make you humble and see ways to correct yourself or at least stop blaming others.

So, OP, show yourself that you can get another Job with 20% to 25% increase, then you are correct or stay the course.
Dave55
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Dave55 »

Personally I wouldn't take the abuse, life is too short. It appears as though you could fund being out of work for a while which gives you the freedom to walk. My brother who has managed 60 IT professionals for over 3 decades read this thread and his response was if you have the money to walk, why not. But he also remarked he put up with being berated and talked down to from boss's at various times in his career because he did not the money to leave.


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Watty
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Watty »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm I've had no promotions in the past six years, my bonus and RSU awards keep decreasing every year.
You should have been looking for your next job years ago.

Staying there so long has not been good for your career and that was a mistake.

Start looking now and suck it up until you find something better.

You also have to look at the possibility that you are not actually performing all that well in your position and you will have trouble finding another job with similar pay. For that income you will be expected to perform very well, not just average.

I worked in technology until I retired a few years ago and I saw lots of tech people stagnate and and run into career problems in their 30s and 40s. Some of them ended up leaving the tech field altogether after they were laid off and could not find another tech job. Some of them ended up taking a big step backwards and doing things like working on help desks because that was the only type of work they could find.

You really should not leave that job until you have another job lined up.

Right now you are riding on the gravy train and you really need to appreciate just how well you are doing. You are making about what a director or VP at a normal company would make.

HR is not your friend, unless you have talked to a lawyer about some sort of discrimination problem and they tell you to contact the HR department do not do that.

Someone else suggested that getting some counseling might be a good idea. If it does not look like you will be able to get a comparable job quickly that would be a good idea.
Call_Me_Op
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Call_Me_Op »

I wouldn't stay in a job like that for 10 minutes. Find something else and then quit.
Best regards, -Op | | "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." Einstein
SethJane42
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by SethJane42 »

OP, you have vast amounts of creativity at your disposal at any time. Be creative with your life and make it what you want. Vision+action=creating your reality. All creativity unfolds within a field of probabilities. Remember that. Perhaps, even if you wanted it and worked hard enough, you'll never be in the NBA, because well you're 4'11" and 52 years old, but there is so much you can make happen with vision and work. So much that you can make probable in your personal experience through action.

Don't let the external dictate your creativity. Your life is a creative act, though you might not be fully conscious of that yet. Even starting in the worst of circumstances or current realities, people have managed to create happy fulfilling lives though vision and action. One step at a time.
Last edited by SethJane42 on Sat Aug 29, 2020 9:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
aqan
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by aqan »

Dakota wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 8:42 am 290k a year, would let my boss yell, and call me any name he wants, would actually encourage it :D while sacking that cash.
Easier said than done
Annabel Lee
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Annabel Lee »

aqan wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 9:39 am
Dakota wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 8:42 am 290k a year, would let my boss yell, and call me any name he wants, would actually encourage it :D while sacking that cash.
Easier said than done
Also see post up thread. We don’t know if it’s $154k in RSUs vesting this year, or $154k in RSUs vesting over time. There’s a big difference between $290k and, say, $136k + $50k-ish for each of the next three years.
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oldcomputerguy
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by oldcomputerguy »

This topic is now in the Personal Finance forum (employment issue). -- mod oldcomputerguy
Wannaretireearly
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

invest2bfree wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:09 am Being in a high paying bad job is way better than no job.

Iam not saying stress does not matter, it certainly does but it should not get to you.

You need to look for some other job ASAP but donot quit. Chances of Getting a new job unemployed is not good.
This. Treat it like an hourly/daily transaction. If I work today I get X $ for me and my family, food on the table etc. Become emotionless about the transaction. Find a new job.
This time next year, we'll be millionaires!
ScaledWheel
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by ScaledWheel »

Will echo what others have said: start looking now. I'm in tech and my team has hired four people since June. I have still not met those people in person, all interviews and onbaording was done online.

I would recommend getting LinkedIn premium (cost ~$30/month) and select the option to let recruiters know you are open to new roles. If you are in tech, at a good company (guessing this is the case with size of those RSUs), then it's likely you will be contacted by a number of recruiters. You can hide the fact that you have the premium option to make it less obvious to your employer that you may be looking, if that's a concern.
jaqenhghar
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by jaqenhghar »

Wannaretireearly wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 9:55 am
invest2bfree wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:09 am Being in a high paying bad job is way better than no job.

Iam not saying stress does not matter, it certainly does but it should not get to you.

You need to look for some other job ASAP but donot quit. Chances of Getting a new job unemployed is not good.
This. Treat it like an hourly/daily transaction. If I work today I get X $ for me and my family, food on the table etc. Become emotionless about the transaction. Find a new job.
What wannaretireearly said. It's a weekly transaction where you get $X to -- like every good Boglehead -- DCA and invest into the market.
novemberrain
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by novemberrain »

yosemite_mountain wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:46 pm My boss yells at me and berates me all the time; he only does it when no one is looking. He finds fault with everything I do. I feel like he is set on seeing me fail and he is set on ruining my career. He does not give me visible projects, steals and keeps any interesting projects for himself so he can make himself look good to his boss. During annual performance reviews he always gives the same excuses as to why I'm in the same position. I think he treats me like this because he thinks I have no options and won't be able to find a better position elsewhere. 

I've had no promotions in the past six years, my bonus and RSU awards keep decreasing every year.  

While I'm grateful to be making good money, I'm always in a bad mood as a result of the constant berating. This spills over into other aspects of my life as I've become an angry person. I feel like I've had enough. 

Questions:
1. Should I quit now 
OR
2. Should I wait until mid 2021 to quit; when the pandemic is over.  

If I quit now, I'd be unemployed until the end of the pandemic as I do not want to expose myself to the virus as a result of interviewing for jobs during a pandemic. 

Stats
-Annual compensation: 290k; composed of (136k base + 154k RSUs)
-Portfolio balance: $560k; all invested in a three fund portfolio at Vanguard across 401k, Roth IRA and taxable
-Age: 32, CA Bay Area, single, no kids, no debt, don't own a house, renting an apartment 
If you have no immigration problems, you can start prepping and leetcode now. Start looking for a job early next year.

Post this question on Blind, if you haven't already. You will get a lot of more answers from people who from Bay Area Tech.
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whodidntante
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by whodidntante »

There are a lot of virtual interviews being done now and some people are getting jobs without having seen their new place of work or having met their colleagues in person. Time will tell if this later leads to regret on either side.

I don't think you should be confident that the pandemic will be over in mid 2021. You're basically counting on a pace of development that medical science has not been able to deliver before. We'll see.
Financologist
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by Financologist »

Sorry you find yourself in this position.

You must find your power. Abusive relationships eat away at your soul because you can't be yourself in them.

Your power: your skills and the opportunities they afford you. Your kindness and your strength to stand up for yourself.

If I were in this position I would look for a new role aggressively. At the same time, I would speak with my boss's boss and to HR about the abuse. Bay Area companies are very careful not to do anything that could be construed as retaliation. So I would think these would be safe actions to take without risking your job. You may find yourself on a different team quickly also if they sense there is further risk leaving you with your current manager. Document abuses meticulously. I would not quit. Pandemic or not.. unless I you don't like the company overall.
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yosemite_mountain
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Re: Should I quit high paying job?

Post by yosemite_mountain »

I had not thought that companies are interviewing virtually so thats great to hear.
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