while Slacker's story is a bit sad i don't think it was intentional on the parent's part. teaching stuff like this is just....difficult. you can try to lead by example but sometimes it still doesn't work out for whatever reason.Pomegranate wrote: ↑Mon Aug 24, 2020 10:45 amThat's exactly why I do not really "talk to your friends/family/coworkers about this stuff". Most of the folks do not like LBYM ideas and the plan to have a lavish retirement by sacrificing kids childhood is disgusting for a lot of pplSlacker wrote: ↑Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:38 pm I do with some co-workers and friends depending on what I know of their situation.
I have also with some family members (especially my own children -> I want to make sure they are armed with the knowledge).
My Parents never taught me a single thing about financial responsibility. They just made it seem as if we were poor and couldn't afford anything, EVER (no vacations, going out to eat was a twice a year affair, my parents were very responsible in their vehicle and housing choices). This left me with the impression that I will make sure to earn much more than them and have all the finer things in life that my parents did without because they were too poor to do anything about it. As a result, I spent my 20s and most of my 30s living off of debt, failing to save, and not living below my means. Finally, I educated myself and turned it around. Now in my mid 40s we are doing quite well and I recently learned that my parents have a 7 figure net worth, multiple pensions and 5 paid off rental homes. Not once did they attempt to educate me about money. I feel a little dissatisfied with the position that left me in and of course annoyed with my own choices that resulted in poor money decisions that essentially left me "decades behind" in saving for retirement. If not for a combination of Dave Ramsey, Millionaire Next Door, Mr Money Mustache and the Bogleheads I would never have caught back up and probably would still be keeping up with the Jones' spending all my paychecks and only putting enough into 401Ks to get the company match.
I REALLY wish my parents would have done a better job with the financial education, but they (especially my father) were really hands off and sort of let me learn about many big lessons in life through my own trial and error if I didn't learn from school.
my upbringing was similar, no vacations, no extravagant toys, no eating out, etc. knowing now what my parents made back then, they were actually poor. the food we ate was very simple and bland. left overs every day. as a kid growing up i didn't know any better, so i didn't even know what i was missing out on. my parents felt it was important to have appearances of a middle class family, when in reality we could have had a better lifestyle by living in a smaller house.
the only financial advice they drilled into me was stay out of debt. if you can't afford to pay in cash, you can't afford it at all. if you want that something, save save save until you have enough to buy it.
i don't even know/remember how i got started on the path of index investing. i just know my very first job that offered a 401k i put as much as i could afford into it. it didn't bother me at all that i wouldn't see this money many decades later. i guess all of that delayed gratification of save/save/save prepared me for this.
the challenge now is how to teach my kids when i am legitimately not poor. i think they're actually doing really well with the saving part. except now they come to me asking to buy all of these games on their tablet. "i want to buy this add-on, it makes all the stuff more pretty." and i'm like..."no, that's a waste of money! it literally doesn't do anything except make stuff look pretty." i'm still struggling on this part...letting them make the mistakes with their own money.
but, to answer the OP's original question. no, not unless asked. if they continue asking, i'll tell them everything, including my AA and fund placement in which type of account, credit cards, etc. the only thing i never say is actual dollar amounts.