Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

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delamer
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by delamer »

stoptothink wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:47 am
TomatoTomahto wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:35 am
Regattamom wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 3:56 pm For the people on here who have said that receiving a low to mid-level seven figure inheritance didn't change their lives - you have blown my mind. A gift of a few thousand dollars in my twenties would have been life changing for me.
I think a lot depends on when you get it. By the time I got $11k, I had plenty of my own money. Had I received that amount when I had to scrape together an auto repair, different story.

This is why I gift to my kids while I’m alive.
This is something the wife and I have been discussing recently. I admittedly am sort of resentful towards the fact that several of the people around us have a life-funded by their parents, while they flounder as adults with families. I do not want to be the parents who are paying the mortgage, car payments, and funding vacations for my kids (who have a spouse and their own kids) and just don't want to work, but I think it would give me great joy to provide them a downpayment on a home or help them fund their own retirement accounts.
While money is fungible to a large degree, the act of putting money into an IRA for an adult child just has a better feel to it than making their car payment (for example).

It’s the idea of helping with asset building rather than subsidizing consumption.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by Sandtrap »

delamer wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:06 am While money is fungible to a large degree, the act of putting money into an IRA for an adult child just has a better feel to it than making their car payment (for example).

It’s the idea of helping with asset building rather than subsidizing consumption.
+1
Outstanding!

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flyingaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by flyingaway »

SQRT wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:59 am
Regattamom wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 3:56 pm I grew up in poverty and never received anything from family. In fact, I will be responsible for helping my parents financially. The repercussions of growing up the way I did (for me) mean dealing with ongoing anxiety and needing therapy. I wouldn't wish growing up in poverty on anyone and I strive to give my children the things I did not have.
Well said. This reflects my view as well. For those posters who say that getting an inheritance would “ruin” someone’s work ethos, of character, I wonder how common that would be? Or whether they are trying to make “a silk purse out of a sow’s ear”? In any event, I certainly think hardship is way over rated. All the guys that received inheritances that I know have done pretty well with their lives. There certainly would be exceptions but I have to think they are in the minority. Besides, parents know their kids the best and if they think an inheritance will cause a problem, don’t do it, or structure it in a way to mitigate this risk. Incidently, this would probably reflect poorly on that child’s upbringing?
I wish I could have a few million dollars of inheritance, I could use it for travelling, gambling, and drinking. I don't understand what is wrong with that. The reality is that I am going to receive nothing. All my parent's assets, just 3 apartments, will go to my disabled sister.
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flyingaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by flyingaway »

delamer wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:06 am
stoptothink wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:47 am
TomatoTomahto wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:35 am
Regattamom wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 3:56 pm For the people on here who have said that receiving a low to mid-level seven figure inheritance didn't change their lives - you have blown my mind. A gift of a few thousand dollars in my twenties would have been life changing for me.
I think a lot depends on when you get it. By the time I got $11k, I had plenty of my own money. Had I received that amount when I had to scrape together an auto repair, different story.

This is why I gift to my kids while I’m alive.
This is something the wife and I have been discussing recently. I admittedly am sort of resentful towards the fact that several of the people around us have a life-funded by their parents, while they flounder as adults with families. I do not want to be the parents who are paying the mortgage, car payments, and funding vacations for my kids (who have a spouse and their own kids) and just don't want to work, but I think it would give me great joy to provide them a downpayment on a home or help them fund their own retirement accounts.
While money is fungible to a large degree, the act of putting money into an IRA for an adult child just has a better feel to it than making their car payment (for example).

It’s the idea of helping with asset building rather than subsidizing consumption.
I believe what you could do is to give money to your adult child and ask him/her to put it in an IRA, so that he/she could use her own money to buy a car.
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bengal22
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by bengal22 »

I inherited astounding good looks and smarts.
"Earn All You Can; Give All You Can; Save All You Can." .... John Wesley
delamer
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by delamer »

flyingaway wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:12 am
delamer wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:06 am
stoptothink wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:47 am
TomatoTomahto wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:35 am
Regattamom wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 3:56 pm For the people on here who have said that receiving a low to mid-level seven figure inheritance didn't change their lives - you have blown my mind. A gift of a few thousand dollars in my twenties would have been life changing for me.
I think a lot depends on when you get it. By the time I got $11k, I had plenty of my own money. Had I received that amount when I had to scrape together an auto repair, different story.

This is why I gift to my kids while I’m alive.
This is something the wife and I have been discussing recently. I admittedly am sort of resentful towards the fact that several of the people around us have a life-funded by their parents, while they flounder as adults with families. I do not want to be the parents who are paying the mortgage, car payments, and funding vacations for my kids (who have a spouse and their own kids) and just don't want to work, but I think it would give me great joy to provide them a downpayment on a home or help them fund their own retirement accounts.
While money is fungible to a large degree, the act of putting money into an IRA for an adult child just has a better feel to it than making their car payment (for example).

It’s the idea of helping with asset building rather than subsidizing consumption.
I believe what you could do is to give money to your adult child and ask him/her to put it in an IRA, so that he/she could use her own money to buy a car.
Yes, that’s what I meant by money being fungible.
SQRT
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by SQRT »

bengal22 wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:13 am I inherited astounding good looks and smarts.
Deleted. In retrospect sounded stupid.
Last edited by SQRT on Sat Aug 22, 2020 7:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sandi_k
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by Sandi_k »

Carefreeap wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 11:48 am
How you approach it is key. My father's "No one appreciates anything unless they pay for it" was really a mean spirited way of saying he didn't want to pay for anything, nor help the next generation move forward. Because my parents made too much money despite my good grades I wasn't eligible for many scholarships for college. I was the first to graduate from college and cash-flowed my college education first by cleaning houses and then by selling real estate. It was really a tough way to do it and my grades were not as good as they should have been given I was effectively working and going to school full time at UC San Diego. The constant haranguing of pointy headed college students who just partied their way through school was another display of sour grapes. While I know others have tougher stories it's hard to forget someone effectively punishing you for wanting something better for themselves.

The real irony is that my parents died/are dying broke. And I'm lucky I didn't/don't have to support them.

I don't have kids but one approach I thought made sense would be to offer a program of "matching grants". Offer to pay up to half to a State public school and you'll match whatever earnings, scholarships et cetera they can raise. But talk about it early, say as they enter middle school so they have enough time to earn their share. This approach could also work for help for a down payment for a house or other meaningful goal.

Good luck, I'm glad you're keeping an open mind.
@Carefreeap, this really resonated with me. I also put myself through college; moved out at 17, did the JC and transfer route, then had financial aid and loans at an in-state university. I graduated with very little debt because I worked 30 hours per week during school, and 2 jobs in the summer most years. My mom and step dad refused to fill out FAFSA, because they didn't want to reveal their tax returns.

I got a *little* help from my parents: my mom paid first-and-last on my college apartment that first year (totalling ~ $2k) and my father sent me $125 per month during the school year. (Enragingly, they *both* later claimed to have "put me through college.")

When I graduated, my Chevette with 125k miles on it died; I asked for a loan from my mom (and stepfather) for $3k to buy a good used car being sold by a faculty member I knew; my mom declined, because my stepdad's kids had not repaid loans made to them. She later relented when my boyfriend (now husband) offered to loan me the funds. She didn't want people knowing that he loaned me money when she would not.

Years later, when still-boyfriend and I bought our first house, his grandmother had set aside funds for years to be used as a house DP for her grandsons. So she gifted him $10k. My mother was willing to loan me $10k, but my step dad asked that they be added to the title as surety. Nope. I countered that I would change my life insurance coverage to name them, and then proceeded to repay that loan, at (actually, legally usorious rates, I later found out) within 4 years from my $25k per year salary.

As evenhanded as I'd like to be, I am still aggrieved at my mother's treatment. She co-signed on my sister's first truck; she gave my brother much more financial assistance in college (because he lied about his financials); and my step-brothers were loaned/gifted thousands of dollars that never came to us.

For me, the lifelong lesson is: be even-handed. Have a plan. Don't rely on "in the moment" decisions. If you are remarried to someone who also has kids, make sure that your gifting is evenly distributed. Don't reward only the squeaky wheels; make sure the proud kids have some assistance, too.

As it stands now, I am likely to inherit some funds from mom, based on her owning a home in a MCOL area of CA. My brother and I won't need it; my sister will. Am I disclaiming that inheritance to my sister's benefit? Nope. Although my brother and I did encourage mom to re-title the beneficiary on her IRA to go straight to our sister. She needs it way more than we do, so that was a mitzvah we were happy to undertake.
NotWhoYouThink
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by NotWhoYouThink »

Sandi_k wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 1:52 pm

As evenhanded as I'd like to be, I am still aggrieved at my mother's treatment. She co-signed on my sister's first truck; she gave my brother much more financial assistance in college (because he lied about his financials); and my step-brothers were loaned/gifted thousands of dollars that never came to us.

For me, the lifelong lesson is: be even-handed. Have a plan. Don't rely on "in the moment" decisions. If you are remarried to someone who also has kids, make sure that your gifting is evenly distributed. Don't reward only the squeaky wheels; make sure the proud kids have some assistance, too.
This is really important. My FIL's mother made a lot of decisions in the moment, and everyone felt aggrieved. If you added it all up maybe it came out fairly or maybe someone has some legitimate grievances, but it was hard to add it all up without the hurt pouring out.

Some people just aren't organized thinkers and can't keep track or don't think it's important. People who don't "keep score" don't think like people who do. But it's good practice to be open and make notes so you can keep things even. I'd like my kids to still like each other after we're gone.
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TeamArgo
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by TeamArgo »

My father passed in 1999, leaving about $23,000 for each of my siblings and I. For me and my younger brother (aged 46 and 36 at the time) it was life changing. We both paid off CC and other debt and got our financial lives in order. Neither of us has had CC debt since. My older sister (aged 55) ended an unhappy marriage, using the money as a bridge to move to Florida into a condo they owned while all of the divorce details were worked out. She still lives happily in FL. Only my older brother did not have his life changed, but the money didn't harm him in any way, either.
I retired early almost eight years ago with a healthy 401K and some other savings. I am not specifically worrying about an inheritance for my three children, and they encourage us to spend money and enjoy ourselves in retirement. However, barring a long run of bad health, I expect to have enough to leave to them to maybe make a change in their lives also. It really doesn't take a big chunk of money to make a difference, and cash is a good tool to teach them how to handle money, whether they use it wisely or not.
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phxjcc
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by phxjcc »

In a very real sense, the inheritance of real property, at least in California, can be a life changing event--since the tax basis is inherited with it.

So, if you leave your house that you paid $345k for in 1992 that has a current value of $1.5 mil--that changes (at least one of) your heir's cash flow now and into the future. This is not a mega mansion or McMansion, just a 2500 sq ft tract house with a view in a highly desirable area. To buy and live there would cost over $1500/month in RE taxes alone. Forgetting about the property value and using the 4% rule, that is a huge impact on someone's life, probably equivalent to a $1 mil. Annuity.

Maintenance, insurance, blah, blah, blah--but you are enabling someone to pay "rent" of ~ $300/month in perpetuity (yeah, I know 2% annual raise...WGAS!, don't be so pedantic) , and based upon current tax law, for their heirs to do the same.

That is huge.
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flyingaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by flyingaway »

NotWhoYouThink wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:11 pm No inheritance from my family, but the gift they (implicitly) gave me in my youth was the absolute certainty that if I lost everything and needed a place to go they would help me out. I never needed that and would have been mortified to have had to ask, but the knowledge was there.

As we slip into full retirement, we'll have to look at how and when to start offloading some cash onto the (grown) kids. They can make more use of it now than after they've finished their careers.
I told both my children when they graduated from college and went away for their first job that, no matter what happens in their life, they can always come back home at any time.
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by Minty »

flyingaway wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:10 am I wish I could have a few million dollars of inheritance, I could use it for travelling, gambling, and drinking.
If you were my heir, I would say: "Talk is cheap, how can I be sure you use it for this and not just waste it on something frivolous?" :happy
Core Four w/ nominal bonds & TIPS. Refi Rampage: Purchase: 3.875% 30 -> R1 3% 20 -> R2 2.375% 15 -> R3 1.99% 15
sailaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by sailaway »

Minty wrote: Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:20 pm
flyingaway wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:10 am I wish I could have a few million dollars of inheritance, I could use it for travelling, gambling, and drinking.
If you were my heir, I would say: "Talk is cheap, how can I be sure you use it for this and not just waste it on something frivolous?" :happy
That is going to be hard, since one of the first projects DH did on the boat was to rip out the liquor locker!
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FIREchief
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by FIREchief »

flyingaway wrote: Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:08 pm
NotWhoYouThink wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:11 pm No inheritance from my family, but the gift they (implicitly) gave me in my youth was the absolute certainty that if I lost everything and needed a place to go they would help me out. I never needed that and would have been mortified to have had to ask, but the knowledge was there.

As we slip into full retirement, we'll have to look at how and when to start offloading some cash onto the (grown) kids. They can make more use of it now than after they've finished their careers.
I told both my children when they graduated from college and went away for their first job that, no matter what happens in their life, they can always come back home at any time.
+1. :sharebeer
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
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flyingaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by flyingaway »

sailaway wrote: Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:28 pm
Minty wrote: Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:20 pm
flyingaway wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:10 am I wish I could have a few million dollars of inheritance, I could use it for travelling, gambling, and drinking.
If you were my heir, I would say: "Talk is cheap, how can I be sure you use it for this and not just waste it on something frivolous?" :happy
That is going to be hard, since one of the first projects DH did on the boat was to rip out the liquor locker!
That is reasonable. One cannot drink and drive.
Susan1963
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by Susan1963 »

DH and I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I have enjoyed the comments on this issue.
I am squarely in the sandwich generation - kids still at home in early 20s - parents in early 80s.
While my parents could have helped me through school and early adulthood, they chose not to, instead holding the carrot of "saving so you will inherit something". This was not helpful as a young person, and now, of course, any amount inherited will not "help" me at all, since I am wholly self sufficient.
With our own kids we have freely talked about money for many years. Since they turned 18 we have offered each of them a yearly "match" to whatever they put in their registered/tax advantaged accounts. (We have also paid full freight for their college expenses). This family match program has been invaluable. It gave the kids a chance to learn about investing, grow their own wealth and ask questions, all while living at home.
Once both kids are launched our plan is to give them 100% of what they can put into registered accounts (the kids don't know about this yet). We are also planning to give them a substantial sum for a downpayment on their first home.
When the time comes, they will inherit something, but along the way we will be there to make their lives just a little bit easier.
For us, this strengthens our family.
makingmistakes
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by makingmistakes »

TeamArgo wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 2:23 pm My father passed in 1999, leaving about $23,000 for each of my siblings and I. For me and my younger brother (aged 46 and 36 at the time) it was life changing. We both paid off CC and other debt and got our financial lives in order. Neither of us has had CC debt since. My older sister (aged 55) ended an unhappy marriage, using the money as a bridge to move to Florida into a condo they owned while all of the divorce details were worked out. She still lives happily in FL. Only my older brother did not have his life changed, but the money didn't harm him in any way, either.
I retired early almost eight years ago with a healthy 401K and some other savings. I am not specifically worrying about an inheritance for my three children, and they encourage us to spend money and enjoy ourselves in retirement. However, barring a long run of bad health, I expect to have enough to leave to them to maybe make a change in their lives also. It really doesn't take a big chunk of money to make a difference, and cash is a good tool to teach them how to handle money, whether they use it wisely or not.
While I’m not one of those people with large amounts of money, I’m still a little surprised that $23k was life changing to 36 and 46 year olds. That would have made your Dad proud I’m sure though, so that’s great.
smitcat
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by smitcat »

makingmistakes wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:27 am
TeamArgo wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 2:23 pm My father passed in 1999, leaving about $23,000 for each of my siblings and I. For me and my younger brother (aged 46 and 36 at the time) it was life changing. We both paid off CC and other debt and got our financial lives in order. Neither of us has had CC debt since. My older sister (aged 55) ended an unhappy marriage, using the money as a bridge to move to Florida into a condo they owned while all of the divorce details were worked out. She still lives happily in FL. Only my older brother did not have his life changed, but the money didn't harm him in any way, either.
I retired early almost eight years ago with a healthy 401K and some other savings. I am not specifically worrying about an inheritance for my three children, and they encourage us to spend money and enjoy ourselves in retirement. However, barring a long run of bad health, I expect to have enough to leave to them to maybe make a change in their lives also. It really doesn't take a big chunk of money to make a difference, and cash is a good tool to teach them how to handle money, whether they use it wisely or not.
While I’m not one of those people with large amounts of money, I’m still a little surprised that $23k was life changing to 36 and 46 year olds. That would have made your Dad proud I’m sure though, so that’s great.
"While I’m not one of those people with large amounts of money, I’m still a little surprised that $23k was life changing to 36 and 46 year olds"
$23K in 1998 has just about the same purchasing power as $50K today after calculating inflation.
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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

flyingaway wrote: Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:08 pm
NotWhoYouThink wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:11 pm No inheritance from my family, but the gift they (implicitly) gave me in my youth was the absolute certainty that if I lost everything and needed a place to go they would help me out. I never needed that and would have been mortified to have had to ask, but the knowledge was there.

As we slip into full retirement, we'll have to look at how and when to start offloading some cash onto the (grown) kids. They can make more use of it now than after they've finished their careers.
I told both my children when they graduated from college and went away for their first job that, no matter what happens in their life, they can always come back home at any time.
We have, without shame or stealth, made our home very inviting for the kids; many of our renovations, while of interest to us, also serve as a “bribe” for the kids to visit. During COVID, it has worked out wonderfully, since it is easy for them to “quarantine” in the lower level when they arrive and work from home without disruption of our living and working from home. After two weeks, hugs are allowed :D
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
makingmistakes
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by makingmistakes »

smitcat wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:32 am
makingmistakes wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:27 am
TeamArgo wrote: Fri Aug 21, 2020 2:23 pm My father passed in 1999, leaving about $23,000 for each of my siblings and I. For me and my younger brother (aged 46 and 36 at the time) it was life changing. We both paid off CC and other debt and got our financial lives in order. Neither of us has had CC debt since. My older sister (aged 55) ended an unhappy marriage, using the money as a bridge to move to Florida into a condo they owned while all of the divorce details were worked out. She still lives happily in FL. Only my older brother did not have his life changed, but the money didn't harm him in any way, either.
I retired early almost eight years ago with a healthy 401K and some other savings. I am not specifically worrying about an inheritance for my three children, and they encourage us to spend money and enjoy ourselves in retirement. However, barring a long run of bad health, I expect to have enough to leave to them to maybe make a change in their lives also. It really doesn't take a big chunk of money to make a difference, and cash is a good tool to teach them how to handle money, whether they use it wisely or not.
While I’m not one of those people with large amounts of money, I’m still a little surprised that $23k was life changing to 36 and 46 year olds. That would have made your Dad proud I’m sure though, so that’s great.
"While I’m not one of those people with large amounts of money, I’m still a little surprised that $23k was life changing to 36 and 46 year olds"
$23K in 1998 has just about the same purchasing power as $50K today after calculating inflation.
Oh, good point!
Vihoo
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by Vihoo »

awval999 wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am I say this as a 34 year old father of a toddler and expecting another.

I begged my father (in truth my mother to let him) to retire this year at 62 at the end of this calendar year. We’ll see if he follows through. I do not need any inheritance nor would I want one dollar if it prevented him from enjoying even one day of retirement away from the job he hates.

In truth your money cannot protect them from the things that truly can ruin their life: a divorce, a disability, death. Everything else is just window dressing. All your money could ever buy is a nicer house or nicer neighborhood or better car, or private school.

I’m sure if you posed this question to your adult children, they would tell you to retire.
It's a difficult mindset to shake off - that earner/saver mentality to one of relaxing/spending, etc.

We're practically the same person. Currently 34, a toddler, and one on the way. Dad is 63 and won't retire.

I've realized that not even an active cancer diagnosis (my mother) is enough to get some multi-millionaire "savers" (my parents) to truly stop and just live life. Us kids don't need a dime from our parents - we've been lucky with our careers.

Yet they still choose to keep grinding - they know no other way or option in life, no matter how many times I ask them "What do you plan to do with your money?"...and there is never a reply.
Vihoo
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by Vihoo »

It can if you use it the right way.

I received $10k from my late grandfather upon my wedding (As did all cousins on that side of the family during their wedding).

I used it to buy our first home with just 5% down ($11k).

Within 1 year we moved out and turned it into a rental. Having the confidence to identify a deal and become a landlord we decided to buy another...and then another...and then one more.

That first home is now rented out and cashflows +$300/month, and appreciation and paydown has generated us equity of $110k. Similar story with our other properties (but with more cash down).

There is currently an untouched open HELOC on the home for $20k which we could extend to $40k at this point due to appreciation.

I've since created an LLC and I'm planning to pool that HELOC money as we've created a RE Investment group to leverage into larger investments.

Our net worth and overall trajectory was significantly impacted by that initial $10k gift.
awval999
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by awval999 »

Katietsu wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:05 pm
awval999 wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am
In truth your money cannot protect them from the things that truly can ruin their life: a divorce, a disability, death. Everything else is just window dressing. All your money could ever buy is a nicer house or nicer neighborhood or better car, or private school.
Please do not take this the wrong way, but this is a statement from someone who has always had enough money for basic needs. Without a loan or gift at certain crucial points in my early life, I would have been homeless or without needed healthcare.

Having a safety net can make a big difference in allowing someone to leave an abusive marriage or report inappropriate behavior at work. Even in less extreme situations, that safety net can make a difference in just whether or not a person risks a desired job change.

I do hope that none of these situations ever apply to the OP’s children. And the OP may already have enough to help their child through a temporary crisis or transition. I do agree that an adult child whose basic necessities of safe shelter, sufficient food, adequate access to healthcare, and quality childcare are met, should not want a parent to continue working so that they can have an “upgraded” lifestyle.
This is a fair comment.

But I’m also addressing the Boglehead community at large where upper-middle class to upper class themes dominate.
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FIREchief
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by FIREchief »

Susan1963 wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 10:59 am Since they turned 18 we have offered each of them a yearly "match" to whatever they put in their registered/tax advantaged accounts. (We have also paid full freight for their college expenses). This family match program has been invaluable. It gave the kids a chance to learn about investing, grow their own wealth and ask questions, all while living at home.
I like this. :sharebeer It's how parents "put their money where their mouths are."
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by JoeRetire »

flyingaway wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:41 amI would like to hear some real begelhead (better first-hand) stories about financial assistance or inheritance making good or bad difference on children's life. I am not interested in the stories of Warren Buffett or Bill Gates, but the stories of upper middle class people.
I guess my siblings and I qualify as upper middle class people.

We recently received our inheritance from our father's estate. It made no difference either way to me, my sister, or one of my brothers. It helped my two other brothers financially pay off some bills.

While we appreciated it, we all would have been fine with no inheritance.

For me, I passed much of it on to my children and grandchildren.
It's the end of the world as we know it. | It's the end of the world as we know it. | It's the end of the world as we know it. | And I feel fine.
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flyingaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by flyingaway »

Vihoo wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:07 pm
awval999 wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am I say this as a 34 year old father of a toddler and expecting another.

I begged my father (in truth my mother to let him) to retire this year at 62 at the end of this calendar year. We’ll see if he follows through. I do not need any inheritance nor would I want one dollar if it prevented him from enjoying even one day of retirement away from the job he hates.

In truth your money cannot protect them from the things that truly can ruin their life: a divorce, a disability, death. Everything else is just window dressing. All your money could ever buy is a nicer house or nicer neighborhood or better car, or private school.

I’m sure if you posed this question to your adult children, they would tell you to retire.
We're practically the same person. Currently 34, a toddler, and one on the way. Dad is 63 and won't retire.

I've realized that not even an active cancer diagnosis (my mother) is enough to get some multi-millionaire "savers" (my parents) to truly stop and just live life. Us kids don't need a dime from our parents - we've been lucky with our careers.

Yet they still choose to keep grinding - they know no other way or option in life, no matter how many times I ask them "What do you plan to do with your money?"...and there is never a reply.
My 89 year old father still live very frugally and saves a large part of his pension. I just could not get him to spend his money. He accepts the money that I give him annually, but I guess he does not spend it.
delamer
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by delamer »

flyingaway wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:09 pm
Vihoo wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:07 pm
awval999 wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am I say this as a 34 year old father of a toddler and expecting another.

I begged my father (in truth my mother to let him) to retire this year at 62 at the end of this calendar year. We’ll see if he follows through. I do not need any inheritance nor would I want one dollar if it prevented him from enjoying even one day of retirement away from the job he hates.

In truth your money cannot protect them from the things that truly can ruin their life: a divorce, a disability, death. Everything else is just window dressing. All your money could ever buy is a nicer house or nicer neighborhood or better car, or private school.

I’m sure if you posed this question to your adult children, they would tell you to retire.
We're practically the same person. Currently 34, a toddler, and one on the way. Dad is 63 and won't retire.

I've realized that not even an active cancer diagnosis (my mother) is enough to get some multi-millionaire "savers" (my parents) to truly stop and just live life. Us kids don't need a dime from our parents - we've been lucky with our careers.

Yet they still choose to keep grinding - they know no other way or option in life, no matter how many times I ask them "What do you plan to do with your money?"...and there is never a reply.
My 89 year old father still live very frugally and saves a large part of his pension. I just could not get him to spend his money. He accepts the money that I give him annually, but I guess he does not spend it.
So why not give it to charity instead?
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flyingaway
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by flyingaway »

delamer wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:15 pm
flyingaway wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:09 pm
Vihoo wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:07 pm
awval999 wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am I say this as a 34 year old father of a toddler and expecting another.

I begged my father (in truth my mother to let him) to retire this year at 62 at the end of this calendar year. We’ll see if he follows through. I do not need any inheritance nor would I want one dollar if it prevented him from enjoying even one day of retirement away from the job he hates.

In truth your money cannot protect them from the things that truly can ruin their life: a divorce, a disability, death. Everything else is just window dressing. All your money could ever buy is a nicer house or nicer neighborhood or better car, or private school.

I’m sure if you posed this question to your adult children, they would tell you to retire.
We're practically the same person. Currently 34, a toddler, and one on the way. Dad is 63 and won't retire.

I've realized that not even an active cancer diagnosis (my mother) is enough to get some multi-millionaire "savers" (my parents) to truly stop and just live life. Us kids don't need a dime from our parents - we've been lucky with our careers.

Yet they still choose to keep grinding - they know no other way or option in life, no matter how many times I ask them "What do you plan to do with your money?"...and there is never a reply.
My 89 year old father still live very frugally and saves a large part of his pension. I just could not get him to spend his money. He accepts the money that I give him annually, but I guess he does not spend it.
So why not give it to charity instead?
As I said in my OP, I give money to my parents to thank them for raising me, which includes, but are not limited to, giving me a life, feeding me, paying for my education, and of course, loving me. All my parent's asset will go to my sister, who was disabled in a car accident many years ago.
delamer
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Re: Did any inheritance make positive effect on your life?

Post by delamer »

flyingaway wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 6:31 pm
delamer wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:15 pm
flyingaway wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:09 pm
Vihoo wrote: Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:07 pm
awval999 wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am I say this as a 34 year old father of a toddler and expecting another.

I begged my father (in truth my mother to let him) to retire this year at 62 at the end of this calendar year. We’ll see if he follows through. I do not need any inheritance nor would I want one dollar if it prevented him from enjoying even one day of retirement away from the job he hates.

In truth your money cannot protect them from the things that truly can ruin their life: a divorce, a disability, death. Everything else is just window dressing. All your money could ever buy is a nicer house or nicer neighborhood or better car, or private school.

I’m sure if you posed this question to your adult children, they would tell you to retire.
We're practically the same person. Currently 34, a toddler, and one on the way. Dad is 63 and won't retire.

I've realized that not even an active cancer diagnosis (my mother) is enough to get some multi-millionaire "savers" (my parents) to truly stop and just live life. Us kids don't need a dime from our parents - we've been lucky with our careers.

Yet they still choose to keep grinding - they know no other way or option in life, no matter how many times I ask them "What do you plan to do with your money?"...and there is never a reply.
My 89 year old father still live very frugally and saves a large part of his pension. I just could not get him to spend his money. He accepts the money that I give him annually, but I guess he does not spend it.
So why not give it to charity instead?
As I said in my OP, I give money to my parents to thank them for raising me, which includes, but are not limited to, giving me a life, feeding me, paying for my education, and of course, loving me. All my parent's asset will go to my sister, who was disabled in a car accident many years ago.
Have you considered setting up a trust for your sister in lieu of giving the money to your parents? (I have not gone back and read your earlier posts.)
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