Setting up wife after devorce

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hulburt1
Posts: 413
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:17 pm

Setting up wife after devorce

Post by hulburt1 » Sun May 10, 2020 8:46 pm

My wife of 41 years has decided to split. She is 64. We are good friends and I want her to make it.

I'm giving her 120000 from my Ira to hers, I' also paying off 60000 in loans that I did not know about. This is one reason we are going separate ways.

You think this is a good plan for her.
320000 in s&p 500, In 401k, Principle.
140000 in vanguard mm, this will get her to SS
I'm putting her in 50000 short/ and 50000 intermediate bond.
I will have her put 200000 S&P and I have her in Facebook 100000. She bought at $50.00.
the 120000 I will be giving her will be invested with vanguard.
Do you have any changes you think I should make.

randybobandy
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2018 10:51 am

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by randybobandy » Sun May 10, 2020 8:50 pm

I think the best plan would be for her to take an active role and have an understanding in all you have proposed. It is probably best for the long term.

--Randy Bo Bandy

birnhamwood
Posts: 157
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:34 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by birnhamwood » Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm

Sorry about the divorce.

This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.

Jags4186
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Jags4186 » Sun May 10, 2020 9:07 pm

Sorry about the divorce. I’d recommend getting an attorney and making sure you are getting your fair share of the marital assets. I would not worry about your to-be ex-wife’s assets post divorce.

jjface
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by jjface » Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm

Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.

Katietsu
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Katietsu » Sun May 10, 2020 9:16 pm

Please consider following the portfolio posting guidelines even though it is not your portfolio.

It looks to me that she will have about $1 million with an asset allocation of 75/25. Is this right? If so, It seems on the aggressive side for a 64 year old. I would think that a portfolio that is much more aggressive than typical for one’s age should only be followed by someone who really understands the risk they are taking. I would not want to make that choice for someone else.

Maybe find an hourly advisor for her to meet with? Or set her up with Vanguard PAS? If you and she really want you to make the calls, I would consider a more middle of the road portfolio for a 64 year old with no job.

Wricha
Posts: 575
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:33 am

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Wricha » Sun May 10, 2020 9:29 pm

If I were in your position. I “might” find 2 or 3 financial advisors (hourly). Let her pick one and you are done. The sooner your out the better for both of you.
Last edited by Wricha on Tue May 12, 2020 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

adam1712
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Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:21 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by adam1712 » Sun May 10, 2020 9:51 pm

Have you formally started the divorce process? I'm not as against you helping her with her asset allocation as some are. Every divorce is different. But I'd recommend not making any promises or decisions until the division of assets is final. Many divorces first attempt to be amicable but things can change quickly and you need to consider the legal ramifications if it turns into a contentious negotiation.

desiderium
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by desiderium » Sun May 10, 2020 10:08 pm

There are attorneys that specialize in collaborative divorce. They will guide you both through the process and advise on what the guidelines are for community property in your state. I would gently suggest this, so that both of you end up feeling that you received third-party advice on your settlement.

sd323232
Posts: 525
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:45 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by sd323232 » Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm

hulburt1 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 8:46 pm
My wife of 41 years has decided to split. She is 64. We are good friends and I want her to make it.

I'm giving her 120000 from my Ira to hers, I' also paying off 60000 in loans that I did not know about. This is one reason we are going separate ways.

You think this is a good plan for her.
320000 in s&p 500, In 401k, Principle.
140000 in vanguard mm, this will get her to SS
I'm putting her in 50000 short/ and 50000 intermediate bond.
I will have her put 200000 S&P and I have her in Facebook 100000. She bought at $50.00.
the 120000 I will be giving her will be invested with vanguard.
Do you have any changes you think I should make.
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.

kidshrink
Posts: 57
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:33 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by kidshrink » Sun May 10, 2020 10:18 pm

Could you give us more information on the $60,000 in loans?

Depending on if they were for Chanel bags or insulin dependent diabetes, would determine my next steps.

Would you be enabling her? Does she need financial counseling? Is she trying to relive her 20s with a series of young studs?

Your intentions are commendable but the details are important.

Dottie57
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Dottie57 » Sun May 10, 2020 10:23 pm

sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
hulburt1 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 8:46 pm
My wife of 41 years has decided to split. She is 64. We are good friends and I want her to make it.

I'm giving her 120000 from my Ira to hers, I' also paying off 60000 in loans that I did not know about. This is one reason we are going separate ways.

You think this is a good plan for her.
320000 in s&p 500, In 401k, Principle.
140000 in vanguard mm, this will get her to SS
I'm putting her in 50000 short/ and 50000 intermediate bond.
I will have her put 200000 S&P and I have her in Facebook 100000. She bought at $50.00.
the 120000 I will be giving her will be invested with vanguard.
Do you have any changes you think I should make.
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
+1. And see if this can’t be done collaboratively as suggested above.

KSActuary
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by KSActuary » Sun May 10, 2020 10:35 pm

While the split sounds amicable, I would pay the couple grand to have a good attorney provide oversight to the agreement.

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Watty
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Watty » Sun May 10, 2020 10:37 pm

Be sure that you have a lawyer review all the arrangements you want to set up. This is not a DIY situation.

In some situations setting up your or her funds in a trust might make sense to help insure that any leftover money goes to someone like your kids. I know of a situation where a woman was widowed with a seven figure portfolio then she remarried, she then died a few years later so her second husband inherited everything. When he died a few years after that all the money all went to his kids from a prior marriage. Her kids got nothing. If the money had been in a trust that could have been avoided.

To do this right you also need to be sure that she will able to manage her finances if something happens to you. You could set her up with a great portfolio but if you get run over by the proverbial Mack truck next week then she could be lost.

Vanguard will manage a portfolio for a 0.3% fee which might be worth it if she will not be able to manage the money on her own.

https://investor.vanguard.com/financial ... r-services

Topic Author
hulburt1
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by hulburt1 » Sun May 10, 2020 10:43 pm

We will have about 1m each. In Oregon you can do it on line. We have worked this out over the last 2 months. She is a very good person. No one else is in the picture. We are going to do it together and take it in or will send it in. We have dinner twice a week and she was over today. We just need to move on with our lives. We will put the 120000 in bonds. We will see. Thanks everyone.

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CAsage
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by CAsage » Sun May 10, 2020 11:30 pm

hulburt1 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:43 pm
I am giving her $120000 from my IRA ... putting it in bonds.
I will observe that $120,000 in an IRA is certainly worth far less due to the inevitable federal (and possibly state) taxes that will be incurred or 'lost' when you withdraw it. Be sure that you fairly account for the pre-tax vs after-tax value of those assets (something a lawyer or accountant would instantly point out to you). One could have the court approve that transfer, so the IRA custodian can split that account pretax. I have no idea if you have otherwise accounted for that disparity, but you should be aware of that. And I would have any debt paid out of her half, after you split. Be sure the legal agreement states who is responsible clearly for debt.
Salvia Clevelandii "Winifred Gilman" my favorite. YMMV; not a professional advisor.

birnhamwood
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by birnhamwood » Mon May 11, 2020 3:02 pm

I recommend the Netflex movie, MARRIAGE STORY.

The divorce begins amicably . . .

BUT . . .

delamer
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by delamer » Mon May 11, 2020 3:23 pm

hulburt1 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:43 pm
We will have about 1m each. In Oregon you can do it on line. We have worked this out over the last 2 months. She is a very good person. No one else is in the picture. We are going to do it together and take it in or will send it in. We have dinner twice a week and she was over today. We just need to move on with our lives. We will put the 120000 in bonds. We will see. Thanks everyone.
Why are you so involved in how she invests her 1/2 of the joint assets? If you think it is time to move on, then she should be making these decisions.

mhalley
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by mhalley » Mon May 11, 2020 3:39 pm

If she knows nothing about investing, I would put her in the mm and a tr or life strategy fund.

Spirit Rider
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Spirit Rider » Mon May 11, 2020 3:48 pm

jjface wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm
Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.
birnhamwood wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm
This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
I don't know why people trot this out as if it is gospel. Even in a community property state this may not be true.

They are always relevant facts and circumstances involved even with a court ordered judgement. Mutually agreed stipulations with adequate representation can be just about any split mutually agreed to.

jb1
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Location: NC

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by jb1 » Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm

Another reason not to get married.

Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.

Let her manage it herself, not your problem.

absolute zero
Posts: 315
Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2016 4:59 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by absolute zero » Mon May 11, 2020 3:56 pm

sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm

what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil.
Do you know which state the OP lives in? If so, are you familiar with the particular divorce laws of that state? And if so, are you familiar with the breakdown of the OP’s assets regarding whether they were brought into the marriage, acquired during the marriage, acquired via inheritance, or acquired via other means?

If not, how can you say that his wife is entitled to 50% of their net worth?
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
You def need to get lawyers involved here.
Correct. This is the only piece of advice (in this entire thread) that the OP should listen to.

palanzo
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by palanzo » Mon May 11, 2020 3:57 pm

hulburt1 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:43 pm
We will have about 1m each. In Oregon you can do it on line. We have worked this out over the last 2 months. She is a very good person. No one else is in the picture. We are going to do it together and take it in or will send it in. We have dinner twice a week and she was over today. We just need to move on with our lives. We will put the 120000 in bonds. We will see. Thanks everyone.
https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/ ... yDebt.aspx

Before you divide property do you first need to consider if there will be spousal support?

palanzo
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by palanzo » Mon May 11, 2020 3:59 pm

Spirit Rider wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:48 pm
jjface wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm
Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.
birnhamwood wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm
This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
I don't know why people trot this out as if it is gospel. Even in a community property state this may not be true.

They are always relevant facts and circumstances involved even with a court ordered judgement. Mutually agreed stipulations with adequate representation can be just about any split mutually agreed to.
Agreed. It seems many people are misinformed on the legal issues.

palanzo
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Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2019 4:28 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by palanzo » Mon May 11, 2020 4:00 pm

absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:56 pm
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm

what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil.
Do you know which state the OP lives in? If so, are you familiar with the particular divorce laws of that state? And if so, are you familiar with the breakdown of the OP’s assets regarding whether they were brought into the marriage, acquired during the marriage, acquired via inheritance, or acquired via other means?

If not, how can you say that his wife is entitled to 50% of their net worth?
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
You def need to get lawyers involved here.
Correct. This is the only piece of advice (in this entire thread) that the OP should listen to.
+1

The OP may have legal liabilities as a result of "managing" his soon to be former wife's assets.

sd323232
Posts: 525
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by sd323232 » Mon May 11, 2020 4:01 pm

absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:56 pm
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm

what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil.
Do you know which state the OP lives in? If so, are you familiar with the particular divorce laws of that state? And if so, are you familiar with the breakdown of the OP’s assets regarding whether they were brought into the marriage, acquired during the marriage, acquired via inheritance, or acquired via other means?

If not, how can you say that his wife is entitled to 50% of their net worth?
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
You def need to get lawyers involved here.
Correct. This is the only piece of advice (in this entire thread) that the OP should listen to.
The OP wants to make sure that his wife is well set after the divorce, the right thing to do would be giving her 50% of all assets.

absolute zero
Posts: 315
Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2016 4:59 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by absolute zero » Mon May 11, 2020 4:03 pm

palanzo wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:59 pm
Spirit Rider wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:48 pm
jjface wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm
Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.
birnhamwood wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm
This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
I don't know why people trot this out as if it is gospel. Even in a community property state this may not be true.

They are always relevant facts and circumstances involved even with a court ordered judgement. Mutually agreed stipulations with adequate representation can be just about any split mutually agreed to.
Agreed. It seems many people are misinformed on the legal issues.
We are all misinformed on different issues. Nobody knows everything. What bothers me is when people provide advice on a topic that they know little about.

absolute zero
Posts: 315
Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2016 4:59 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by absolute zero » Mon May 11, 2020 4:06 pm

sd323232 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 4:01 pm
absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:56 pm
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm

what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil.
Do you know which state the OP lives in? If so, are you familiar with the particular divorce laws of that state? And if so, are you familiar with the breakdown of the OP’s assets regarding whether they were brought into the marriage, acquired during the marriage, acquired via inheritance, or acquired via other means?

If not, how can you say that his wife is entitled to 50% of their net worth?
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
You def need to get lawyers involved here.
Correct. This is the only piece of advice (in this entire thread) that the OP should listen to.
The OP wants to make sure that his wife is well set after the divorce, the right thing to do would be giving her 50% of all assets.
That’s fine. In your opinion, that would be the right thing to do.

But that’s not what you said. You (along with others) used the word “legally” in reference to a 50% division off assets.

KlangFool
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by KlangFool » Mon May 11, 2020 4:14 pm

mhalley wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:39 pm
If she knows nothing about investing, I would put her in the mm and a tr or life strategy fund.
+1,000.

KlangFool

Luckywon
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Luckywon » Mon May 11, 2020 4:24 pm

absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 4:03 pm
palanzo wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:59 pm
Spirit Rider wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:48 pm
jjface wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm
Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.
birnhamwood wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm
This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
I don't know why people trot this out as if it is gospel. Even in a community property state this may not be true.

They are always relevant facts and circumstances involved even with a court ordered judgement. Mutually agreed stipulations with adequate representation can be just about any split mutually agreed to.
Agreed. It seems many people are misinformed on the legal issues.
We are all misinformed on different issues. Nobody knows everything. What bothers me is when people provide advice on a topic that they know little about.
When it comes to threads on prenuptial agreements, if one eliminated the erroneous statements, many of which are the same as threads on divorce, there would be little left beyond the OP's question.

delamer
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by delamer » Mon May 11, 2020 4:36 pm

jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Another reason not to get married.

Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.

Let her manage it herself, not your problem.
Why do you think it is all his hard-earned money?

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ResearchMed
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by ResearchMed » Mon May 11, 2020 4:50 pm

delamer wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 4:36 pm
jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Another reason not to get married.

Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.

Let her manage it herself, not your problem.
Why do you think it is all his hard-earned money?
+1

Additionally, even *if* Spouse A did indeed do all of the "earning the money", what if Spouse B spent all of those years doing all or most of the housekeeping, cooking, shopping, dealing with in home repairs, perhaps planning vacations, etc., and thus gave A time (and energy/etc.) to DO all of that work during all of those years? (That is, what is the "value" of full time housekeeper, cook, home manager, etc., in addition to any other emotional or practical support?)

Yes, this is all very similar to pre-nup discussions, and will therefore probably go off the rails here soon...

RM
This signature is a placebo. You are in the control group.

palanzo
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by palanzo » Mon May 11, 2020 4:56 pm

absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 4:03 pm
palanzo wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:59 pm
Spirit Rider wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:48 pm
jjface wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm
Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.
birnhamwood wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm
This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
I don't know why people trot this out as if it is gospel. Even in a community property state this may not be true.

They are always relevant facts and circumstances involved even with a court ordered judgement. Mutually agreed stipulations with adequate representation can be just about any split mutually agreed to.
Agreed. It seems many people are misinformed on the legal issues.
We are all misinformed on different issues. Nobody knows everything. What bothers me is when people provide advice on a topic that they know little about.
Agreed. That is what I meant to say.

sd323232
Posts: 525
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:45 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by sd323232 » Mon May 11, 2020 5:22 pm

absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 4:06 pm
sd323232 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 4:01 pm
absolute zero wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:56 pm
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm

what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil.
Do you know which state the OP lives in? If so, are you familiar with the particular divorce laws of that state? And if so, are you familiar with the breakdown of the OP’s assets regarding whether they were brought into the marriage, acquired during the marriage, acquired via inheritance, or acquired via other means?

If not, how can you say that his wife is entitled to 50% of their net worth?
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
You def need to get lawyers involved here.
Correct. This is the only piece of advice (in this entire thread) that the OP should listen to.
The OP wants to make sure that his wife is well set after the divorce, the right thing to do would be giving her 50% of all assets.
That’s fine. In your opinion, that would be the right thing to do.

But that’s not what you said. You (along with others) used the word “legally” in reference to a 50% division off assets.
you got me my friend, good one, totally didnt see it coming. oh boy, live and learn. im gonna sit my old self on bench in the shade, cant keep up with youngsters.

crit
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:54 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by crit » Mon May 11, 2020 6:21 pm

jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.
It is so, so infuriating to be a woman sometimes .... all the times, actually, especially here and now.

tibbitts
Posts: 10739
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:50 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by tibbitts » Mon May 11, 2020 6:24 pm

hulburt1 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 8:46 pm
My wife of 41 years has decided to split. She is 64. We are good friends and I want her to make it.

I'm giving her 120000 from my Ira to hers, I' also paying off 60000 in loans that I did not know about. This is one reason we are going separate ways.

You think this is a good plan for her.
320000 in s&p 500, In 401k, Principle.
140000 in vanguard mm, this will get her to SS
I'm putting her in 50000 short/ and 50000 intermediate bond.
I will have her put 200000 S&P and I have her in Facebook 100000. She bought at $50.00.
the 120000 I will be giving her will be invested with vanguard.
Do you have any changes you think I should make.
Please put commas in your numbers; they're honestly difficult to read as is. Or use $50k or something.

jjface
Posts: 3039
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by jjface » Mon May 11, 2020 8:17 pm

Spirit Rider wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:48 pm
jjface wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:13 pm
Split it in half to tick the legal boxes. If you want to help her after all is legally separated then you are free to.
birnhamwood wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 9:02 pm
This sounds generous, but (legally) only if it represents roughly half of your net worth.
sd323232 wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 10:16 pm
what is your overall networth? legally, you wife is entitled to 50% of that, so if networth is 5 mil, she gets 2.5 mil. You def need to get lawyers involved here.
I don't know why people trot this out as if it is gospel. Even in a community property state this may not be true.

They are always relevant facts and circumstances involved even with a court ordered judgement. Mutually agreed stipulations with adequate representation can be just about any split mutually agreed to.
Yes you are right but the op sounds like he is just dishing it out as he sees fit and if so that is a potential problem. But perhaps not he does sound like he has genuine concern for his soon to be ex wife too.

Monsterflockster
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Monsterflockster » Mon May 11, 2020 8:58 pm

After reading the post title... the “setup” I was expecting did not materialize nor match the content of the OP. 😂

randybobandy
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by randybobandy » Mon May 11, 2020 9:12 pm

crit wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 6:21 pm
jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.
It is so, so infuriating to be a woman sometimes .... all the times, actually, especially here and now.
Why is that?

--Randy Bo Bandy

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LilyFleur
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by LilyFleur » Mon May 11, 2020 9:14 pm

crit wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 6:21 pm
jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.
It is so, so infuriating to be a woman sometimes .... all the times, actually, especially here and now.
+1. Everything that I got in my divorce, I got from a judge, who made sure the law was followed. That made it rather expensive, leaving less money for our children.

LeeMKE
Posts: 1940
Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:40 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by LeeMKE » Mon May 11, 2020 9:28 pm

I just went through this and I think the OP is on the right track.

I had mirrored the DH portfolio on my portfolio. My biggest disappointment was the attorney paid to advise DH did what he could to convince him to object to everything, so the attorney could earn a fee to try to get to as good an offer as I'd volunteered. It was a tense few days waiting for DH to decide how to go. (ala Marriage Story)

I coached DH on the strategy I was using, and set him up with a Fidelity rep to help him when he has questions. I filed on-line in Washington and it was fast, easy and as trouble free as these things can be. This doesn't have to be a brawl, and never is better to duke it out in court, or make it ugly.

Good luck!
The mightiest Oak is just a nut who stayed the course.

Normchad
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Normchad » Mon May 11, 2020 9:30 pm

LilyFleur wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 9:14 pm
crit wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 6:21 pm
jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.
It is so, so infuriating to be a woman sometimes .... all the times, actually, especially here and now.
+1. Everything that I got in my divorce, I got from a judge, who made sure the law was followed. That made it rather expensive, leaving less money for our children.
+1. I'm a man, and this attitude really irks me as well. I think it is a fairly common attitude as well.

OP is already married. OP is already getting divorced. He has a good question he is looking for help on, let's give him the help he needs. Divorce always makes me sad, but I know several couples like OP, where the couple remains very good friends for life, and continue to help each other out where/when they can. This arrangement should be commended.

Grt2bOutdoors
Posts: 22570
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Location: New York

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Mon May 11, 2020 10:01 pm

jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Another reason not to get married.

Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.

Let her manage it herself, not your problem.
I take it you are not married. A marriage is a legal partnership. The latter word weighs heavily in the eyes of the law. There is no "me" or "yours" unless the monies were earned prior to the consummation of such partnership, then it's entirely up to the grantor to give or not give. The partnership's earnings though are thought of as "ours" as in equitable property.

Sounds like the OP is a straight up person, if enough people thought like that they could put alot of people out of business. :twisted:
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

sd323232
Posts: 525
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Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by sd323232 » Tue May 12, 2020 8:51 am

Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 10:01 pm
jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Another reason not to get married.

Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.

Let her manage it herself, not your problem.
I take it you are not married. A marriage is a legal partnership. The latter word weighs heavily in the eyes of the law. There is no "me" or "yours" unless the monies were earned prior to the consummation of such partnership, then it's entirely up to the grantor to give or not give. The partnership's earnings though are thought of as "ours" as in equitable property.

Sounds like the OP is a straight up person, if enough people thought like that they could put alot of people out of business. :twisted:
A legal partnership that gets abused too many times. Problem is most people are like OP, but the legal system dehumanizes them and treats them like cash machines. It is very easy to be self righteous here, until it happens to you.

Topic Author
hulburt1
Posts: 413
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:17 pm

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by hulburt1 » Tue May 12, 2020 9:20 am

Thanks for all the caring.

Grt2bOutdoors
Posts: 22570
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:20 pm
Location: New York

Re: Setting up wife after devorce

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Tue May 12, 2020 10:08 am

sd323232 wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 8:51 am
Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 10:01 pm
jb1 wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 3:52 pm
Another reason not to get married.

Divorce at age 64, and now you have to give her your hard earned money.

Let her manage it herself, not your problem.
I take it you are not married. A marriage is a legal partnership. The latter word weighs heavily in the eyes of the law. There is no "me" or "yours" unless the monies were earned prior to the consummation of such partnership, then it's entirely up to the grantor to give or not give. The partnership's earnings though are thought of as "ours" as in equitable property.

Sounds like the OP is a straight up person, if enough people thought like that they could put alot of people out of business. :twisted:
A legal partnership that gets abused too many times. Problem is most people are like OP, but the legal system dehumanizes them and treats them like cash machines. It is very easy to be self righteous here, until it happens to you.
It happened to a close relative of mine so I know what you mean - his ex's waste cost her on the order of hundreds of thousands in unnecessary fees that went into the hands of the attorney leaving her and the kids with less, much less! Just to spite someone who wanted to split it down the middle half/half only to lead to that.
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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