Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

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mortal
Posts: 472
Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:15 pm

Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by mortal »

Kids, if I decide to have them, are going to come late for me, and retirement is going to come early. It got me thinking. What sort of impact would it have on my hypothetical kids if they were raised in an environment where there parents never had to work for money and spent most of their time indulging their hobbies and interests?

The kids would absolutely face the school / work life grind. Would they have the intrinsic motivation to succeed? I'm sure by the time they were adults, they'd understand on some intellectual level that mom and dad worked hard at some point to be able to enjoy retirement, but on a gut level would they have the same drive? I suppose it's silly to worry about parenting issues with hypothetical children, but I figured this forum is big enough, and it's membership old enough that at least some of you might have experience with this. What do you think?
StealthRabbit
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Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2009 1:25 am

Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by StealthRabbit »

Kids learn significantly by example. Doubt you will be sitting on your thumbs while at home raising kids.

"Wage earning" is not something they really witness from parents. (Especially if parents are GONE to do so, or stick them in school or childcare while parent WORKS for a living!)

But they witness your;
Spending
Benevolence (values)
Care for them and others...

I personally would / should have been home during children's years at living in my home. Poof, they are GONE!

Instead (un-informed / yet to learn) I worked nights, and homeschooled (Unschooled) them.
We worked on home projects side by side, we shared those benefits and struggles together. (Farming, building houses, helping others).
Kids designed and built their own homes as Jr High projects. They (we) also built their cars, furniture, clothing, businesses, investments (IRAs) together. Each completed college before age 20.

To do over... I would start a few family businesses, at least one per child, hopefully 2-3 per child so they can pick their favorite to support them through college age, then sell or keep that business after they are ready to make their own tracks in life. (Their choice).
EddyB
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Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by EddyB »

mortal wrote: Tue Dec 31, 2019 5:30 pm Kids, if I decide to have them, are going to come late for me, and retirement is going to come early. It got me thinking. What sort of impact would it have on my hypothetical kids if they were raised in an environment where there parents never had to work for money and spent most of their time indulging their hobbies and interests?

The kids would absolutely face the school / work life grind. Would they have the intrinsic motivation to succeed? I'm sure by the time they were adults, they'd understand on some intellectual level that mom and dad worked hard at some point to be able to enjoy retirement, but on a gut level would they have the same drive? I suppose it's silly to worry about parenting issues with hypothetical children, but I figured this forum is big enough, and it's membership old enough that at least some of you might have experience with this. What do you think?
I have yet to find compelling evidence regarding outcomes from circumstances similar to what I'm targeting, which is to retire (or at least hit a long pause) while my kids are approximately 8 and 11, having funded that retirement from wage income and investing. Thought experiments can go all over the map (as is true of the outcomes of parenting more generally), so I'd suggest focusing on identifying your goals and how to best achieve them, rather than thinking in terms of abstract absolutes.
edgeagg
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Location: WA-US

Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by edgeagg »

I'm in the situation you describe:
(1) Former big tech(s) employee, left and did a startup
(2) Sold it and cashed out
(3) One kid - 9 year old - about 6 years obliterated by the startup.
(4) Had kid when I was 44.

I do a lot of coding for a new startup friends are starting up after finishing off a few projects I'd always wanted to do. So my son sees me hard at work for a significant part of the day, but OTOH I don't go to an office. I did get some questions about it but they've died down now. I believe that it is the fact that I am continuing to work hard that gives me some credibility to emphasize the aspect of hard work. However, I've explained to him that I work hard on things I want to do and not what I have to do.

So the examples we try to set:
(1) Experiences not things. Road trips in summer, backpacking and car camping. No trips to Spain or Greece - explore our backyard first. Understand that not having an Xbox doesn't make you a failure.
(2) Giving back to others - xmas presents have to be offset with gifts for others, volunteering with me at an open kitchen for homeless families
(3) Contributing to the household: Clean up in the garden, help with laundry, learning to cook and make meals
(4) Build, not buy: Learning to code, basic fabrication
(5) Saving: We have a "401K" based on a Fido Zero and VBTLX for balancing. He is beginning to understand the value of compounding!
(6) Reading and a slow life.

I hope that helps provide some perspective.
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willthrill81
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Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by willthrill81 »

Take a look at what other early retirees who are also parents of young kids have done. Justin at www.rootofgood.com is a good starting point. He tells others that he works in finance from home for a living. :mrgreen:
Last edited by willthrill81 on Tue Dec 31, 2019 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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livesoft
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Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by livesoft »

They would have parents who would be the parent coach of all their youth sports teams.
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Halicar
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Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by Halicar »

mortal wrote: Tue Dec 31, 2019 5:30 pm they'd understand on some intellectual level that mom and dad worked hard at some point to be able to enjoy retirement
They'd probably also observe that in general, moms and dads work hard to provide for their children, then to enjoy retirement, and they might wonder why you're not doing the same.
J295
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Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by J295 »

by mortal » Tue Dec 31, 2019 4:30 pm

Kids, if I decide to have them, are going to come late for me, and retirement is going to come early. It got me thinking. What sort of impact would it have on my hypothetical kids if they were raised in an environment where there parents never had to work for money and spent most of their time indulging their hobbies and interests?
Great parents and great parenting can occur if the parents are "working" or "not working" at a paying job ..... same is true for dysfunctional parents and parenting ..... so many factors ....
MarkerFM
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Re: Early retirement and raising kids. Impact?

Post by MarkerFM »

Been there, done that. Kids 12 and 14 when I quit working for money. Throughout their childhoods, they lived really, really well compared to what they will ever experience on their own until they inherit. I actually worried more about how they would deal with that than how they would view me not "working."

14 years later, it's a non-issue. As young adults, they are independent, living on their own, and dealing with the reality of having to live on what they earn and make choices about how they spend their limited funds. Aside from typical millennial angst, they don't seem to sweat it.
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