Admiral wrote: ↑Fri Nov 22, 2019 9:35 am
I can tell you what my (still living) parents have done. They offered to help both me and my sister out with tuition payments. I accepted, my sister did not. They gift us the money. Their will (of which I have a copy) simply states that on their demise, I have already received $X, so my share of the estate is half, minus $X. My sister gets gets half, plus $X. Seems fair to us.
Granted, it's not exactly the same situation. I do feel that if you're going to offer to give funds to one child (while you're living) the identical offer should be made to the other. They can take it or leave it.
My sister and I get along so there's unlikely to be fighting over the estate, which is 7 figures.
Personally, I think you should be entitled to the same inheritance as your sister. I just don't believe declined offers of financial aid for education builds up credits for inheritance.
Financial help for education is fair if offered under the same conditions for each. I don't think of it as $$$ offered, rather educational degrees offered. I told DDs that I would help them with college up to whatever degree level they wanted to shoot for. I didn't say, "I will spend $X on each of your college educations." Had one continued on to earn a PhD, that would have been fine, also.
We paid a more for one DD's Bachelors degree, as she went to a private university, out of town. Though, her tuition was 100% covered by scholarships. One DD went to a public university. We had Florida Pre-paid tuition plans for both, which saved us a lot of money.
DD at private university also received free tuition for her MBA. The other DD went to a private university for her Masters degree, which we paid for, totally.
I have never even contemplated tallying up their various college costs in an attempt to be fair. But, I believe the costs were probably pretty close. Though, honestly I don't really care. Each daughter went to their preferred university, for undergraduate and graduate degrees.
If one DD had eschewed attending college with our financial help, I would never have assumed she would be entitled to more of our estate. An unaccepted offer of education is just that: An offer of education, nothing more, nothing less. No other expectations on the part of either of us, I would hope.
Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven then I shall not go. " -Mark Twain