If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

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1210sda
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If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:30 pm

Recently I posted about using a bank trust dept to administer our (spouse and me)affairs.

I have a different question now.

If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by and you don't want to use a trust department, who will care for you, pay your bills, pay your taxes, etc. as you age and eventually arrange for your funeral?

Especially when your significant other is no longer around.

1210

livesoft
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by livesoft » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm

You move closer to trusted relatives.
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:43 pm

livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
LOL...Livesoft, I knew I could count on you!

Our problem is that we don't want to move back to cold weather.

1210

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by samsoes » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:46 pm

livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
Thanks for the insightful answer.

For some of us, that's not an option (drug addictied siblings, etc.).
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by cadreamer2015 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:50 pm

One option for a portion of that (caring for you, making sure you get to doctors and take your medicine) is to move to a CCRC. Much of the financial aspect could be done long distance. Many/most bills that remain beyond the CCRC bill can be put on auto-pay.
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by livesoft » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:51 pm

I also have seen that many people without relatives close by become good friends with others that are in their same situation. They might do this through their house of worship or other common interest, too. They know they have each others' backs. So while one may not want the future responsibility of helping someone not related to them, I think it probably goes with the territory.
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:52 pm

cadreamer2015 wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:50 pm
One option for a portion of that (caring for you, making sure you get to doctors and take your medicine) is to move to a CCRC. Much of the financial aspect could be done long distance. Many/most bills that remain beyond the CCRC bill can be put on auto-pay.
I don't know much about CCRC's. Do you have experience with them? Or, maybe know someone who is in one?

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by SoonerD » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:56 pm

samsoes wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:46 pm
livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
Thanks for the insightful answer.

For some of us, that's not an option (drug addictied siblings, etc.).
Given the OPs premise that “If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by...” Livesofts reply is the best possible answer.

Now we have new information the said relatives live in undesirable weather. So the best answer i can offer is to have those relatives manage your bills remotely. All can be done remotely including hiring care givers. It’s bedt ti pair it with periodic visits to assess the situation.

However the vert best answe is still to move nearer family who cares about you and will do the right things for you. Cold weather is superior to truly being alone in old age - but that’s just one man’s opinion.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by CAsage » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:57 pm

Can one hire a book keeping service to receive bills, pay them, and send a periodic accounting to a distant but reliable person? Most of bill pay is very simple to automate; all my necessary utilities are automatically paid directly out of my checking account (via autodebit) and all my various subscriptions bill directly to one household credit card. Even a distant trusted relative or friend could login once a month, or get a report. I'm assuming that one's executor will handle my super-cheap cremation expenses (don't waste $$ on the dead).
I've certainly heard of celebrities that have personal assistants or accountants that manage all their bills for a lot more $$$ ... but are there other professionals that can be hired to manage bills ? Not looking for a bank trustee.
Last edited by CAsage on Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by beyou » Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:58 pm

My wife and I have been taking care of her 90+ yo mother's bills and other affairs.
Most of the repetitive ongoing works is done online from our home.

My mother asked me same question, what happens when Dad is gone (not sure why she is so sure who will outlive who).
I told her I could help her from afar with most financial issues.

As to day to day physical needs, that is a different story, one that can be difficult to provide if you live under the same roof.
Not the question on this thread.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by samsoes » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:00 pm

SoonerD wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:56 pm
samsoes wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:46 pm
livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
Thanks for the insightful answer.

For some of us, that's not an option (drug addictied siblings, etc.).
Given the OPs premise that “If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by...” Livesofts reply is the best possible answer.
It's not specified if there exist trusted relatives which aren't close by, either.
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by SoonerD » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:04 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:52 pm
cadreamer2015 wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:50 pm
One option for a portion of that (caring for you, making sure you get to doctors and take your medicine) is to move to a CCRC. Much of the financial aspect could be done long distance. Many/most bills that remain beyond the CCRC bill can be put on auto-pay.
I don't know much about CCRC's. Do you have experience with them? Or, maybe know someone who is in one?

1210
My mother spent her final time in one. It was the best experience possible for her. we had live in caregivers for Mom and Dad. Dad passed and after a reasonable period if time I moved Mom into a CCRC. She was at the full care stage. It was the happiest she had been since Dad passed and possibly the happiest in several years even with Dad alive. He had dementia and it was brutal on Mom.

Nursing homes and Ccrcs can be s great answer. It still requires a loved one to manage the caregivers and the CCRV management as well as Doctors , etc. There is no substitute for a loving relative to oversee your care, in my simple opinion.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Sandtrap » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:09 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:30 pm
(edited for clarity)

QUESTIONS

*If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by . . and no significant other.

**and you don't want to use a trust department,
1
who will care for you?
2
who will pay your bills
3
who will pay your taxes, etc. as you age
4
who will arrange for your funeral?
1. Schedule home care and other services. Set up regular visits 2-3x/week, and so forth.

2. Distant trusted relatives can do this entirely online.
(DW does this for her mom from 3000 miles away).
Legal counsel might be hired or asked for referral to do this.

3. Hire CPA to handle this annually.

4. You can arrange everything right now. And, even prepay for it.

j

**Here is an article at "Senior Living.org" about Continuing Care Retirement Communities.
https://www.seniorliving.org/continuing ... mmunities/
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by delamer » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:13 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:52 pm
cadreamer2015 wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:50 pm
One option for a portion of that (caring for you, making sure you get to doctors and take your medicine) is to move to a CCRC. Much of the financial aspect could be done long distance. Many/most bills that remain beyond the CCRC bill can be put on auto-pay.
I don't know much about CCRC's. Do you have experience with them? Or, maybe know someone who is in one?

1210
Both my parents and in-laws moved to CCRCs. They offer 3 basic levels of care — independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing care. You move through the different levels of care if/when you need more assistance with the activities of daily living (ADL). They have memory care units for people with dementia. They also provide transportation to medical appointments. You still need someone to be your medical power-of-attorney however.

CCRCs do not provide financial services (bill-paying or investments). You can arrange with an daily money manager (https://secure.aadmm.com/) to pay bills and a firm like Vanguard to manage the investments.

These options together will make your daily life simpler, although they are not a panacea for all aging issues.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by delamer » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:19 pm

livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:51 pm
I also have seen that many people without relatives close by become good friends with others that are in their same situation. They might do this through their house of worship or other common interest, too. They know they have each others' backs. So while one may not want the future responsibility of helping someone not related to them, I think it probably goes with the territory.
Whatever their good intentions, two 80-year-olds who meet in church are going to have a limited ability to help each other whether it is with medical appointments, paying bills, etc.

The attention and help of a trusted member(s) of a younger generation of your family is the best support, if you have it. As someone else noted, I’d rather have that nearby then warm weather.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by visualguy » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:25 pm

SoonerD wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:04 pm
Nursing homes and Ccrcs can be s great answer. It still requires a loved one to manage the caregivers and the CCRV management as well as Doctors , etc. There is no substitute for a loving relative to oversee your care, in my simple opinion.
Yes, it's critical to have a loving relative who is healthy-enough to help. Having a friend who would do something like this is extremely rare, and I don't know of any professionals that one could truly rely on for these things.

If you don't have such a person, I don't know what you do. Even throwing a lot of money at it helps only partially. It can get you into a CCRC, but you still need someone to visit, monitor, help, manage care, and advocate.

My mom is currently in the nursing home part of a CCRC. There have been quite a few occasions where the family had to help in various ways.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by ncbill » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:14 pm

Sometimes you have to pick a friend instead.

On another financial forum one of the posters cared for a widowed friend with dementia, arranging home care, then assisted living.

When that friend developed terminal cancer, given the advanced stage of their dementia, the poster arranged for Hospice to care for them in their assisted living residence, IIRC, then handled what there was left of the estate.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 8track » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:17 pm

There are professional geriatric care managers that may be able to help in this regard. Google “bill paying service”, “professional fiduciary” or “geriatric case manager”. As someone else pointed out, a continuing care retirement community in your area can provide much of the day-to-day care. My wife and I are struggling with this question as well. My sister and I cared for our mother until she passed away, but I don’t see any of our relatives, nearby or far away, doing the same for us.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by dm200 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:20 pm

ncbill wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:14 pm
Sometimes you have to pick a friend instead.
On another financial forum one of the posters cared for a widowed friend with dementia, arranging home care, then assisted living.
When that friend developed terminal cancer, given the advanced stage of their dementia, the poster arranged for Hospice to care for them in their assisted living residence, IIRC, then handled what there was left of the estate.
Yes - but such friends are likely to be along in years as well.

A real challenge - many younger folks are not interested in doing this and/or might screw it up and/or not be 100% honest.

Maybe check with your local jurisdiction's senior affairs department or with a local seniors group - they might have ideas.

Maybe I have become "twisted", but I see and hear about so many seniors being scammed and swindled.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Tamarind » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:22 pm

Perhaps aim to make a friend whose child is a Boglehead?

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by dm200 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:28 pm

I have not gone deeply into such groups, but our locality has a "group" (annual fee required) called "Neighborhood Village" for seniors needing and wanting help. I gather there are similar organizations elsewhere.

The "caring for you" can be provided by commercial agencies. The bill paying and money parts are more complicated, in my opinion.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by dm200 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:48 pm

I have never heard of one, but I wonder if there are reasonably priced and bonded services companies that do this?

Maybe one of the home care companies/services might have some ideas?

Perhaps jurisdiction social workers as well.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by HueyLD » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:50 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:43 pm
livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
LOL...Livesoft, I knew I could count on you!

Our problem is that we don't want to move back to cold weather.

1210
But an old person incapable of taking care of him(her)self may not have a choice in the weather department.

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1210sda
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:53 pm

HueyLD wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:50 pm
1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:43 pm
livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
LOL...Livesoft, I knew I could count on you!

Our problem is that we don't want to move back to cold weather.

1210
But an old person incapable of taking care of him(her)self may not have a choice in the weather department.
You"re right, we may not have a choice.
But, that's why I'm asking for alternatives. So far, there are several recommendations that I will investigate. I hope one of them works out for us.
1210

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by dm200 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:00 pm

One thing I have observed about the elderly and financial "competence" -

My father's older brother (never married) was always a part of our household and took care of just about all of my father's finances - both personal and the family farm.

He did this well until - all of a sudden - things got messed up a lot very, very quickly. Fortunately, my brother finally noticed the problem - and, with a lot of work, my brother finally got just about all of it straight.

For many of us seniors, this "problem" can come on us very, very quickly.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by HueyLD » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:02 pm

In my volunteer work, I became aware of a few elderly seniors with no relatives available to care for them.

It may be possible to have a trusted neighbor or friend to help out.

CCRC is also an option, but it is very expensive and may not be feasible for those with lesser wealth. In addition, you may not be able to get in a CCRC unless you are still young and healthy enough to be admitted.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Tdubs » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:06 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:43 pm
livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
LOL...Livesoft, I knew I could count on you!

Our problem is that we don't want to move back to cold weather.

1210
Buy a sweater?

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by DetroitRick » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:26 pm

We are acting in that role for a relative in another state (elderly, in hospice, at home, with personal care services). It's not easy, it does take LOTS of time (especially to set things up). The whole process is extremely dependent on individual circumstances. But having someone competent and trustworthy is much more important than just proximity. Proximity hasn't mattered at all (in our case) for banking, bill paying, taxes and investment management. The proximity problem itself has been made irrelevant by online banking, online bill pay, financial software, and online tax submission. Legal documents and computer tools are sufficient. Time and effort would be nearly identical whether we lived next door or 2000 miles away. Care is a a more complex matter and requires more face time and lots of phone time. It's totally different issue, I think.

Bottom line, I"d take a willing, trustworthy and COMPETENT resource who lives far away over the opposite who lives close by. That said, in our case, I would never be willing to do this again because of time. And in my own case, if ever necessary, I'm more like to go the paid professional route. The problem isn't friends and proximity, for me it would be their ability, time and my loss of privacy.
Last edited by DetroitRick on Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by friar1610 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:32 pm

CAsage wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:57 pm
Can one hire a book keeping service to receive bills, pay them, and send a periodic accounting to a distant but reliable person? Most of bill pay is very simple to automate; all my necessary utilities are automatically paid directly out of my checking account (via autodebit) and all my various subscriptions bill directly to one household credit card. Even a distant trusted relative or friend could login once a month, or get a report. I'm assuming that one's executor will handle my super-cheap cremation expenses (don't waste $$ on the dead).
I've certainly heard of celebrities that have personal assistants or accountants that manage all their bills for a lot more $$$ ... but are there other professionals that can be hired to manage bills ? Not looking for a bank trustee.

I did something similar for an elderly aunt (who was childless and living alone in MA while I was in MD). The young woman we hired had worked as a book keeper but stopped working outside the home when she became a mother. Met with my aunt every week or two and they went through the bills together and paid them. Sent me an accounting and the monthly bank statement and I would review it. My aunt was starting to get involved in "sweepstakes" and other behavior that might have led to her getting scammed. This woman kept an eye out for any suspicious "leakage" of funds. Got so she brought her kid along which my aunt enjoyed. When my aunt died I (as the executor) gave the book keeper a nice bonus.
Friar1610

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by MJS » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:56 pm

Depending on state laws, you may find yourselves being taken care of by a Senior/Professional Guardian. Florida and Nevada have recently put some restraints on their guardian systems, but unfortunately Senior Guardians can be very lucrative for local governments.

Original 2017 New Yorker story. "Guardians can sell the assets and control the lives of senior citizens without their consent—and reap a profit from it."

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Zonian59 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:19 pm

1210sda wrote:

Recently I posted about using a bank trust dept to administer our (spouse and me)affairs.

I have a different question now.

If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by and you don't want to use a trust department, who will care for you, pay your bills, pay your taxes, etc. as you age and eventually arrange for your funeral?

Especially when your significant other is no longer around.
Thanks 1210sda for this thread and everyone who thoughtfully provided suggestions.

I'm in the same or similar boat, i.e., over 60, single, no children, no siblings, no relatives close by (they live in Japan and South America), have no trusted friends, etc. Currently taking care of my 94 year old mother. After she passes, I will be an "orphan" and concerned about who will care for me when I'm incapacitated, arrange for funeral, will carry out provisions of my will and trust (when I get around to figuring one out.)

A former co-worker who is familiar with my situation suggested (with tongue-in-cheek/half jokingly) that I put myself up for adoption as a "grandfather." Anyone out there willing to adopt a grandfather and take care of him? :wink:

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by whodidntante » Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:29 pm

So I surmise that you have trustworthy people in your life, but no one close. I think this will be OK as long you can afford help and the distant person wants to keep a close eye on things. It may cost more than you realize to have people running errands for you and to fly out the distant person to check on you every couple of months. It will be easier to get them to come in the winter. :happy

If you truly have no one, I do not know of a way to buy trust, especially with no one checking up that the person is actually trustworthy.

As for funeral arrangements, myself I do not care about this, and have suggested this modestly priced receptacle to my friends:
Image

You may wish to make funeral arrangements in advance, however.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by visualguy » Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:36 pm

MJS wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:56 pm
Depending on state laws, you may find yourselves being taken care of by a Senior/Professional Guardian. Florida and Nevada have recently put some restraints on their guardian systems, but unfortunately Senior Guardians can be very lucrative for local governments.

Original 2017 New Yorker story. "Guardians can sell the assets and control the lives of senior citizens without their consent—and reap a profit from it."
Yes - a terrifying prospect indeed!

This is a very difficult subject. I think it's one of those facts of life that just as you need to prepare yourself financially for old age when you're young, you also need to navigate your life in a way where you would have someone close and trusted who will be able and willing to help later on if and when you can't take care of yourself. If you don't make this happen or can't make it happen, there can be seriously bad consequences. This may mean not giving up on having children too easily, maybe adopting, nurturing relationships with nieces/nephews, etc. Not saying old age is the only reason to do those things, but it's easy to be oblivious to that aspect of aging when young.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by fourwheelcycle » Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:44 pm

I cared for my elderly aunt, who lived three hours away, by helping her move to an assisted living facility near my home. As her DPOA for finances and health care, I paid all her bills and arranged for all of her health care during the last three years of her life.

My wife and her sister helped their parents move to a very well-organized independent living retirement community, not a CCRC, during the last ten years of their life. One sister was their DPOA for finances and the other was their DPOA for health care. During the last three years of their parents' life they arranged for 24 hour care in their parents' independent living apartment - three eight hour shifts each day. They did all this from a distance of 600 miles for each sibling.

I am currently enabling my elderly father to live in a very responsible and comfortable independent living facility in the city where I grew up. I am his DPOA for finances and health care. I have consolidated all of his savings at Vanguard, I help him pay all of his bills, I do his taxes, and I help to arrange all of his health care. I live 1,000 miles away.

My wife and I have arranged to move to a very high quality local CCRC when we are ready to make the move. We have adult children who live two to three hours away, but we do not want to impose on their lives when we become elderly.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by delamer » Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:55 pm

dm200 wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:20 pm
ncbill wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:14 pm
Sometimes you have to pick a friend instead.
On another financial forum one of the posters cared for a widowed friend with dementia, arranging home care, then assisted living.
When that friend developed terminal cancer, given the advanced stage of their dementia, the poster arranged for Hospice to care for them in their assisted living residence, IIRC, then handled what there was left of the estate.
A real challenge - many younger folks are not interested in doing this and/or might screw it up and/or not be 100% honest.
All those issues apply just as much to older folks.

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1210sda
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:59 pm

Digressing for a bit.....

One reason for this thread..... I checked with a bank trust department. The fee for their administrative services (not including responsibility for investments) was 37 basis points.

That's $3,700 per million per year. If you have multiples of this, the fee goes up accordingly.

I asked why they charged by the size of the estate when they weren't responsible for managing the portfolio. They had no good answer.

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delamer
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by delamer » Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:04 pm

HueyLD wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:02 pm
In my volunteer work, I became aware of a few elderly seniors with no relatives available to care for them.

It may be possible to have a trusted neighbor or friend to help out.

CCRC is also an option, but it is very expensive and may not be feasible for those with lesser wealth. In addition, you may not be able to get in a CCRC unless you are still young and healthy enough to be admitted.
Absolutely. You need to make the CCRC move while you are still healthy, which is what trips up many elders.

wm631
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by wm631 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:10 pm

whodidntante wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:29 pm
So I surmise that you have trustworthy people in your life, but no one close. I think this will be OK as long you can afford help and the distant person wants to keep a close eye on things. It may cost more than you realize to have people running errands for you and to fly out the distant person to check on you every couple of months. It will be easier to get them to come in the winter. :happy

If you truly have no one, I do not know of a way to buy trust, especially with no one checking up that the person is actually trustworthy.

As for funeral arrangements, myself I do not care about this, and have suggested this modestly priced receptacle to my friends:
Image

You may wish to make funeral arrangements in advance, however.
Love it. I actually used this specific scene (thank you, YouTube) on my Facebook page a couple of years back as instructions to my favorite nephew (he got the joke (?) - "Lebowski" is one of his favorite movies). I helpfully warned him to make sure his sister is downwind at the time, though.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by RadAudit » Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:03 pm

OP, thanks for starting this thread.
FI is the best revenge. LBYM. Invest the rest. Stay the course. - PS: The cavalry isn't coming, kids. You are on your own.

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1210sda
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:40 pm

RadAudit wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:03 pm
OP, thanks for starting this thread.
You're welcome.

Whenever I've had a problem in the past, I've turned to "the collective wisdom" of our Bogleheads. They've always come through for me.

I hope others with similar concerns benefit from this thread as well.

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PoppyA
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by PoppyA » Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:42 pm

Utopian aging community developments -


4-5 independent housing units in the shape of a wagon wheel.

A community unit for joint meals/cooking, gathering, watching TV, etc.

A “keeper’s” unit where a married nurse and handyman live with their kids for free.

The community and keepers unit is supported by the “tenants”.

These communities become each other’s “families”. Communities could attract members from past friendships, churches acquaintances, people from the state of Wisconsin, etc.

If other services are needed, the community could contract as a group, or individually.

Anything missing?

I’ve been told units like this are being built for memory patients.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Rosa » Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:56 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:30 pm
Recently I posted about using a bank trust dept to administer our (spouse and me)affairs.

I have a different question now.

If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by and you don't want to use a trust department, who will care for you, pay your bills, pay your taxes, etc. as you age and eventually arrange for your funeral?

Especially when your significant other is no longer around.

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1210sda, I too am alone, no longer family nor close friends, so you might want to also, as I did, hire a good lawyer and make sure ALL YOUR WISHES are correctly spelled out so there's no misunderstanding. The cost of this lawyer depends on the state where you live in and the simplicity or complexity of your situation. In NYC and with a simple situation (although I added a Living Revocable Trust) is $1500 for doing ALL the documents necessary. This lawyer will take care of EVERYTHING needed. You must sit down with her/him and clarify all details, on paper too. Other lawyers may charge less or significantly more. It's a matter of searching carefully. Good luck! :)

Zonian59
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Zonian59 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:53 pm

Rosa wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:56 pm
1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:30 pm
Recently I posted about using a bank trust dept to administer our (spouse and me)affairs.

I have a different question now.

If there are no younger, trusted relatives close by and you don't want to use a trust department, who will care for you, pay your bills, pay your taxes, etc. as you age and eventually arrange for your funeral?

Especially when your significant other is no longer around.

1210
1210sda, I too am alone, no longer family nor close friends, so you might want to also, as I did, hire a good lawyer and make sure ALL YOUR WISHES are correctly spelled out so there's no misunderstanding. The cost of this lawyer depends on the state where you live in and the simplicity or complexity of your situation. In NYC and with a simple situation (although I added a Living Revocable Trust) is $1500 for doing ALL the documents necessary. This lawyer will take care of EVERYTHING needed. You must sit down with her/him and clarify all details, on paper too. Other lawyers may charge less or significantly more. It's a matter of searching carefully. Good luck! :)
Rosa, thank you for your thoughtful advice. As I am alone (or will be soon), have no family or close friends, I may do as you suggest and hire a lawyer to draft a good will and LRT (when I figure out the beneficiary details). But the issue that keeps nagging me is who do I designate as a Trustee to administrate? In your case, if I may ask, who did you designate? The lawyer who drafted the LRT? Does he charge a annual administrative fee or a final fee upon execution of the LRT/Will?

Zonian59
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by Zonian59 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:57 pm

PoppyA wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:42 pm
Utopian aging community developments -


4-5 independent housing units in the shape of a wagon wheel.

A community unit for joint meals/cooking, gathering, watching TV, etc.

A “keeper’s” unit where a married nurse and handyman live with their kids for free.

The community and keepers unit is supported by the “tenants”.

These communities become each other’s “families”. Communities could attract members from past friendships, churches acquaintances, people from the state of Wisconsin, etc.
Hopefully they can be trusted to manage your financial affairs as well.
If other services are needed, the community could contract as a group, or individually.

Anything missing?

I’ve been told units like this are being built for memory patients.

spammagnet
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by spammagnet » Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:20 pm

livesoft wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:39 pm
You move closer to trusted relatives.
Some people don't have relatives they trust.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by onthecusp » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:23 pm

1210sda wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:59 pm
Digressing for a bit.....

One reason for this thread..... I checked with a bank trust department. The fee for their administrative services (not including responsibility for investments) was 37 basis points.

That's $3,700 per million per year. If you have multiples of this, the fee goes up accordingly.

I asked why they charged by the size of the estate when they weren't responsible for managing the portfolio. They had no good answer.

1210
Not saying it is your best option, but that is only .37% so quite a bit "cheaper" than a 1% AUM adviser. So they pay all your bills for that, anything else? According to instructions?

Seems like a bit of work, very mechanical, but easily audited vs. the quagmire of an investment adviser so they should take some care or face lawsuits from your heirs.

Could you put the investments on auto pilot like a fixed AA or lifecycle fund or default to Vanguard PAS after x years?

Good luck, I'm interested in the other ideas you get here.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by 1210sda » Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:11 am

onthecusp wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:23 pm
Could you put the investments on auto pilot like a fixed AA or lifecycle fund or default to Vanguard PAS after x years?
We will be using Lifestrategy Moderate Growth Fund (VSMGX) in all accounts. That's why I don't want to pay for Investment management by the bank.

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trexdaddy
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by trexdaddy » Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:31 am

I moved to this country two years ago. No friends, no relatives...
I hire someone help to take care of these problem when I can't make it by myself.
I think it is fair.

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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by cadreamer2015 » Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:10 am

My Mom's CCRC provides medication management, a clinic that keeps track of doctors appointment schedules, arranges for handi-van transportation to those appointments, provides escorts etc. All for an extra charge, of course. My Mom also used to use a bill payer service, but the service mostly paid 2 bills per month: the CCRC bill and their own bill, so it didn't seem to be worth it (most all other bills, and there aren't many, are autopay). So I have taken over her financial management as well as being trustee of her RLT. All from 2,500 to 5,000 miles away, depending on where I am at the time.
De gustibus non est disputandum

yousha
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Re: If there are no close or trusted relatives close by, who will care for you, pay your bills, etc.

Post by yousha » Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:13 am

You have a real problem in that paid folks do not have the psychological interest or desire to be of assistance unless paid.

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