Do you share your net worth with family members?

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bhsince87
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by bhsince87 »

student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:54 pm
bhsince87 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:46 pm
student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:37 pm
FIREchief wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:28 pm
student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:02 pm Take the University of Idaho, a doctoral institution, for 2018-2019, the average salary of full professors is $95,900, the average salary of associate professors is $73,200 and the average salary of assistant professors is $62,800. These are averages across all disciplines, so a beginning assistant professor in history will likely be a few thousand dollars less than $62,800. I think this is hardly very well paid.
$62,800 sounds extremely well paid for a teaching job that can grow to $95,900. I'd take it!! (or I would have, 35 years ago).
I chose the University of Idaho, a doctoral institution, for a reason. Beside teaching, research is also required. Most assistant professors start their job at age 30+. (4+ years of a bachelor degree, 4-8 years of a doctoral degree.) Some have student debts. If this is extremely well paid, what do you think is a reasonable salary?

At a non-research institution like Lewis-Clark State College in Idaho, the average salary of full professors is $67,800, the average salary of associate professors is $59,400 and the average salary of assistant professors is $49,800.
For a location like San Francisco,that's middle class wages. For Moscow, Idaho, that's extremely well paid.
Since you said this is extremely well paid, what do you think is an appropriate salary for an assistant professor with 8-10 years of college training lively in Moscow, Idaho?
$62,800
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace." Samuel Adams
tesuzuki2002
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by tesuzuki2002 »

student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:02 pm
tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:25 pm
student wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 5:17 am
22twain wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 3:40 am Or a government employee whose salary is public record...
I teach at a public university so people can find out my salary. But of courses, professors, in general, are not well paid, so no issue there.
I was really surprised when I discovered how my some of my professors were making... it was 5-7x higher than I assumed they were making. They were very well paid.
5-7x higher that you have assumed. Maybe at MIT. Most are not as well paid. Here is a comprehensive data set. https://www.insidehighered.com/aaup-compensation-survey

Take the University of Idaho, a doctoral institution, for 2018-2019, the average salary of full professors is $95,900, the average salary of associate professors is $73,200 and the average salary of assistant professors is $62,800. These are averages across all disciplines, so a beginning assistant professor in history will likely be a few thousand dollars less than $62,800. I think this is hardly very well paid.
Interesting data set. I've seen the actual numbers for specific professors that were released from the University and those data sets are 9 years old now... but hey were north of $150K and even over $200K back then... I'd really like to see what those numbers are today considering how much tuition as increased again..

I'm all for teachers making money!!
student
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by student »

bhsince87 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 11:10 pm
student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:54 pm
bhsince87 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:46 pm
student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:37 pm
FIREchief wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:28 pm

$62,800 sounds extremely well paid for a teaching job that can grow to $95,900. I'd take it!! (or I would have, 35 years ago).
I chose the University of Idaho, a doctoral institution, for a reason. Beside teaching, research is also required. Most assistant professors start their job at age 30+. (4+ years of a bachelor degree, 4-8 years of a doctoral degree.) Some have student debts. If this is extremely well paid, what do you think is a reasonable salary?

At a non-research institution like Lewis-Clark State College in Idaho, the average salary of full professors is $67,800, the average salary of associate professors is $59,400 and the average salary of assistant professors is $49,800.
For a location like San Francisco,that's middle class wages. For Moscow, Idaho, that's extremely well paid.
Since you said this is extremely well paid, what do you think is an appropriate salary for an assistant professor with 8-10 years of college training lively in Moscow, Idaho?
$62,800
Thank you for your input.
RobLyons
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by RobLyons »

No.

And I was offended when my much wealthier sibling/brother in law (who do not share any details of their own situation) asked me how much I earn at my current position
"Great parenting sets the foundation for a better world"
Smoke
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Smoke »

Chris K Jones wrote: Sun Jun 30, 2019 10:00 pm I wouldn't. WhenI am older and infirm, I will let my kids know, but not now. Definitely not. For me this is just like winning the lottery--no one should know.
+1

Also I do not wish for my kids to become lazy in their own investing/saving, thinking they can rely on a nice inheritance.
They know we are comfortable with our modest lifestyle... they can guess all they want :wink:
Arguing for the sake of arguing is something I am not going to engage in.
stoptothink
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by stoptothink »

tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:32 pm
stoptothink wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 1:33 pm
JediMisty wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 11:31 am I already am expected to treat meals and entertainment when visiting (my best) friends and family. If they knew I have "X" net worth, it would definitely be worse.
This is the very obvious downside in dealing with my wife's family. Having no clue whatsoever what we are worth they already make comments like "why would we save, when you and husband (me) are going to buy an entire compound for the family" (made by SIL at a family camping trip 3wks ago). Similarly, we stopped doing activities with them because they'd invite us and then expect us to pay for the entire extended family when we got there. They've also asked us to take a day off work to help them move, and then we showed up, not only did we have to do the entire thing ourselves but they asked us to pay for the moving truck. Her parents have already made it very clear that their "retirement plan" is living with us, and they've already lived with us several times (off-and-on, out of necessity) in the last 6yrs.

Lovely people otherwise - really, I don't mind that it is set in stone that in-laws will be living with us out of necessity when they can no longer work - but I could only imagine the sense of entitlement if they knew what we actually had (and we are far from wealthy).

Thankfully, my family is completely different; very independent, but they're also a lot less pleasant to be around overall.


I'd squash that crap right in the ground!!! Enabling them is only hurting them. I would much rather give all of that away with their knowledge than to enable to them to be poor people. Looks bad on them and their family as a whole.
Oh, we've squashed it: many times. At this point the one thing we do is we pulled my son out of daycare so that we could pay MIL to watch him. She had never had a job - actually, I got her her first job at the call center of my employer and she quit after 2.5 days - and she had to start making an income. We pay her more than we were paying for normal childcare, for watching him 3.5 days a week (I stay home Wednesday and every other Friday) and often less, but she is wonderful with him.

I paid MIL 6 months upfront about a month back, they immediately planned a trip to Hawaii. It's just who they are. My wife is still so angry that she hasn't said a word to her mom in a few weeks (and she picks him up from "daycare").
tesuzuki2002
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by tesuzuki2002 »

stoptothink wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:00 am
tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:32 pm
stoptothink wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 1:33 pm
JediMisty wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 11:31 am I already am expected to treat meals and entertainment when visiting (my best) friends and family. If they knew I have "X" net worth, it would definitely be worse.
This is the very obvious downside in dealing with my wife's family. Having no clue whatsoever what we are worth they already make comments like "why would we save, when you and husband (me) are going to buy an entire compound for the family" (made by SIL at a family camping trip 3wks ago). Similarly, we stopped doing activities with them because they'd invite us and then expect us to pay for the entire extended family when we got there. They've also asked us to take a day off work to help them move, and then we showed up, not only did we have to do the entire thing ourselves but they asked us to pay for the moving truck. Her parents have already made it very clear that their "retirement plan" is living with us, and they've already lived with us several times (off-and-on, out of necessity) in the last 6yrs.

Lovely people otherwise - really, I don't mind that it is set in stone that in-laws will be living with us out of necessity when they can no longer work - but I could only imagine the sense of entitlement if they knew what we actually had (and we are far from wealthy).

Thankfully, my family is completely different; very independent, but they're also a lot less pleasant to be around overall.


I'd squash that crap right in the ground!!! Enabling them is only hurting them. I would much rather give all of that away with their knowledge than to enable to them to be poor people. Looks bad on them and their family as a whole.
Oh, we've squashed it: many times. At this point the one thing we do is we pulled my son out of daycare so that we could pay MIL to watch him. She had never had a job - actually, I got her her first job at the call center of my employer and she quit after 2.5 days - and she had to start making an income. We pay her more than we were paying for normal childcare, for watching him 3.5 days a week (I stay home Wednesday and every other Friday) and often less, but she is wonderful with him.

I paid MIL 6 months upfront about a month back, they immediately planned a trip to Hawaii. It's just who they are. My wife is still so angry that she hasn't said a word to her mom in a few weeks (and she picks him up from "daycare").
On the other hand.. it sounds like they are living there life!! If you have it!! Spend it!
523HRR
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by 523HRR »

What would be the upside benefit of divulging your net worth details outside of spouse or grown children? Lots of regrets in this area I’m guessing.
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Que1999
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Que1999 »

We hit 1m net worth on July 1st, a few days ago. It was a big milestone for DW and I. We were both very proud to have reached that milestone in our mid-late 30's.

I wanted to share, but only because both myself and DW both came from very humble beginnings. My father was an enlisted soldier. Mom worked odd-jobs but eventually got a decent civilian job attached to the military. DW's parents came from South America many years ago to secure a better way of life for their kids. They did. They are still working in their 60's and wish they could retire, and maybe they can, but it would probably be pretty tough....

We never learned about money. Never learned about investing for the future. Our parents had no idea, all they were taught was to work, work, work... We taught ourselves about investing, and only started really investing aggressively within the last 6-8 years.

I decided we wouldn't share our net worth. No good would come of it, at all. It's a private thing between DW and I, and this weekend we will have a nice private celebration in regards to reaching one of our financial goals.... The kids will know when they need to know, which will probably be many, many years in the future.

The next goal is early retirement, 6 years away. :sharebeer
delamer
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by delamer »

tesuzuki2002 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 1:20 pm
stoptothink wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:00 am
tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:32 pm
stoptothink wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 1:33 pm
JediMisty wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 11:31 am I already am expected to treat meals and entertainment when visiting (my best) friends and family. If they knew I have "X" net worth, it would definitely be worse.
This is the very obvious downside in dealing with my wife's family. Having no clue whatsoever what we are worth they already make comments like "why would we save, when you and husband (me) are going to buy an entire compound for the family" (made by SIL at a family camping trip 3wks ago). Similarly, we stopped doing activities with them because they'd invite us and then expect us to pay for the entire extended family when we got there. They've also asked us to take a day off work to help them move, and then we showed up, not only did we have to do the entire thing ourselves but they asked us to pay for the moving truck. Her parents have already made it very clear that their "retirement plan" is living with us, and they've already lived with us several times (off-and-on, out of necessity) in the last 6yrs.

Lovely people otherwise - really, I don't mind that it is set in stone that in-laws will be living with us out of necessity when they can no longer work - but I could only imagine the sense of entitlement if they knew what we actually had (and we are far from wealthy).

Thankfully, my family is completely different; very independent, but they're also a lot less pleasant to be around overall.


I'd squash that crap right in the ground!!! Enabling them is only hurting them. I would much rather give all of that away with their knowledge than to enable to them to be poor people. Looks bad on them and their family as a whole.
Oh, we've squashed it: many times. At this point the one thing we do is we pulled my son out of daycare so that we could pay MIL to watch him. She had never had a job - actually, I got her her first job at the call center of my employer and she quit after 2.5 days - and she had to start making an income. We pay her more than we were paying for normal childcare, for watching him 3.5 days a week (I stay home Wednesday and every other Friday) and often less, but she is wonderful with him.

I paid MIL 6 months upfront about a month back, they immediately planned a trip to Hawaii. It's just who they are. My wife is still so angry that she hasn't said a word to her mom in a few weeks (and she picks him up from "daycare").
On the other hand.. it sounds like they are living there life!! If you have it!! Spend it!
But they are spending it now and relying on stoptothink and his wife to support them when they run out.

Not cool.
scubadiver
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by scubadiver »

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TxAg
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by TxAg »

stoptothink wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:00 am
tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:32 pm
stoptothink wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 1:33 pm
JediMisty wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 11:31 am I already am expected to treat meals and entertainment when visiting (my best) friends and family. If they knew I have "X" net worth, it would definitely be worse.
This is the very obvious downside in dealing with my wife's family. Having no clue whatsoever what we are worth they already make comments like "why would we save, when you and husband (me) are going to buy an entire compound for the family" (made by SIL at a family camping trip 3wks ago). Similarly, we stopped doing activities with them because they'd invite us and then expect us to pay for the entire extended family when we got there. They've also asked us to take a day off work to help them move, and then we showed up, not only did we have to do the entire thing ourselves but they asked us to pay for the moving truck. Her parents have already made it very clear that their "retirement plan" is living with us, and they've already lived with us several times (off-and-on, out of necessity) in the last 6yrs.

Lovely people otherwise - really, I don't mind that it is set in stone that in-laws will be living with us out of necessity when they can no longer work - but I could only imagine the sense of entitlement if they knew what we actually had (and we are far from wealthy).

Thankfully, my family is completely different; very independent, but they're also a lot less pleasant to be around overall.


I'd squash that crap right in the ground!!! Enabling them is only hurting them. I would much rather give all of that away with their knowledge than to enable to them to be poor people. Looks bad on them and their family as a whole.
Oh, we've squashed it: many times. At this point the one thing we do is we pulled my son out of daycare so that we could pay MIL to watch him. She had never had a job - actually, I got her her first job at the call center of my employer and she quit after 2.5 days - and she had to start making an income. We pay her more than we were paying for normal childcare, for watching him 3.5 days a week (I stay home Wednesday and every other Friday) and often less, but she is wonderful with him.

I paid MIL 6 months upfront about a month back, they immediately planned a trip to Hawaii. It's just who they are. My wife is still so angry that she hasn't said a word to her mom in a few weeks (and she picks him up from "daycare").
Wow. Oh wow. Hawaii.

I wouldn't be able to see straight.
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FIREchief
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by FIREchief »

Que1999 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 3:26 pm We hit 1m net worth on July 1st, a few days ago. We were both very proud to have reached that milestone in our mid-late 30's.

The next goal is early retirement, 6 years away. :sharebeer
Are you sure that those two dots connect? :confused
Last edited by FIREchief on Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
Dottie57
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Dottie57 »

I told my mom and dad at various points along the way. They have always been happy for me and proud. They told me about their resources too. No problems or jealousy at all. No my brother is a different story......
DrivingFun
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by DrivingFun »

523HRR wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 3:23 pm What would be the upside benefit of divulging your net worth details outside of spouse or grown children?
Exactly this. There is absolutely no reason for me to share this information. In general I don't like sharing personal information with others, financial or not. I do know some people simply need to discuss personal things with others to feel "right". My wife for example always discusses really personal stuff with her best friend.
dcdowden
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by dcdowden »

Only our Fidelity Adviser and our Attorney know the totals and details.

My Mother and MIL are in their 90's and I manage all their finances and do their taxes, so we know all in those cases. And that will be extremely helpful on the event of their passing. I strongly advise that you get involved early to learn everything if your are named executor for an elderly person. I have been an executor twice before and fortunately had managed their finances and done their taxes before that as well.

I still do my two mid 30+ something kid's taxes, so I know a lot about their finances as well. Although, I try to restrain my advice.

Our kids and other relatives know that we are very generous with them, but we have not shared any specific details at this point.

We update a summary of all of our estate assets every year with listings of all of our accounts, property titles, etc. which we originally gave to our attorney when we last updated our Estate Plan. At some point in the future if health or age issues become a significant concern, we will definitely share that with our children. But for now, they have no reason to know. There is a copy where they can find it just in case.
quantAndHold
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by quantAndHold »

delamer wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:03 pm Does anyone remember the economic stimulus in 2008 under which eligible taxpayers received rebates of up to $1200 per family?
We spent our stimulus paying for part of our wedding. The back of the programs had a message... "This wedding paid for, in part, by The Economic Stimulus Act of 2008."
Yes, I’m really that pedantic.
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6miths
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by 6miths »

No. I go with the Cosby show idea, 'Your mother and I are doing pretty well, you have to make you own way.' And try to stick with a solid LBYM approach.
'It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so!' Mark Twain
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Que1999
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Que1999 »

FIREchief wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:54 pm
Que1999 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 3:26 pm We hit 1m net worth on July 1st, a few days ago. We were both very proud to have reached that milestone in our mid-late 30's.

The next goal is early retirement, 6 years away. :sharebeer
Are you sure that those two dots connect? :confused
Very substantial government pension and relocation from NYC to a LCOL location with a paid-off home.
Bacchus01
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Bacchus01 »

dcdowden wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:24 pm Only our Fidelity Adviser and our Attorney know the totals and details.

My Mother and MIL are in their 90's and I manage all their finances and do their taxes, so we know all in those cases. And that will be extremely helpful on the event of their passing. I strongly advise that you get involved early to learn everything if your are named executor for an elderly person. I have been an executor twice before and fortunately had managed their finances and done their taxes before that as well.

I still do my two mid 30+ something kid's taxes, so I know a lot about their finances as well. Although, I try to restrain my advice.

Our kids and other relatives know that we are very generous with them, but we have not shared any specific details at this point.

We update a summary of all of our estate assets every year with listings of all of our accounts, property titles, etc. which we originally gave to our attorney when we last updated our Estate Plan. At some point in the future if health or age issues become a significant concern, we will definitely share that with our children. But for now, they have no reason to know. There is a copy where they can find it just in case.
It does seem odd that you have complete transparency to your parents and very high transparency to your adult children, but won’t share that same to your children who may be in the same spot you are in with your parents BEFORE old age.
Bacchus01
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Bacchus01 »

As the President of a $B+ division of a megacorp, it’s kinda hard to hide. Funny thing is, I think we have family members that must think I make $1M a week as they have no concept of what executives make. We have others who think I run a little coffee shop or something.

I think if you polled them and averages, you’d be darn close. I do have one aunt and uncle and one brother who are always trying to borrow from us. I just say “no” and that ends it.

My dad will say something at times about spending and I’ll say something like “dad, I have three boys we’d like to put through college.” He will then say something like “you paid your way through college, why can’t they?” And I’ll remind him that when I went to state flagship U my tuition was under $5K a year and now it’s $27K all-in. Part time jobs and student loans that max at $5,500/yr don’t cover that. He backs off.
bondsr4me
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by bondsr4me »

I talk about our personal finances with my wife only....nobody else’s business....period.

Just my way.

I learned a long time ago to be tight-lipped with financial matters when I worked in public accounting.
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alec
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by alec »

Whenever my family asks, I tell them how much I make. No skin off my nose. If they have a problem with it, it’s their problem, not mine.
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!" - Upton Sinclair
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FIREchief
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by FIREchief »

dcdowden wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:24 pm My Mother and MIL are in their 90's and I manage all their finances and do their taxes, so we know all in those cases. And that will be extremely helpful on the event of their passing. I strongly advise that you get involved early to learn everything if your are named executor for an elderly person. I have been an executor twice before and fortunately had managed their finances and done their taxes before that as well.
That's a great point, but it requires cooperation of the elderly person. Some are more than happy to nominate children to "serve" as executor, but 100% unwilling to share anything in advance. I know this from personal experience. I would never petition the courts for letters of appointment in such a situation. Too much downside risk. Let the State sort it out.... :sharebeer
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
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FIREchief
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by FIREchief »

Bacchus01 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:52 pm
dcdowden wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:24 pm At some point in the future if health or age issues become a significant concern, we will definitely share that with our children. But for now, they have no reason to know. There is a copy where they can find it just in case.
It does seem odd that you have complete transparency to your parents and very high transparency to your adult children, but won’t share that same to your children who may be in the same spot you are in with your parents BEFORE old age.
I see nothing odd here. I believe that the earlier poster already addressed this (the "just in case" comment).
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
galectin
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by galectin »

Never with my father and he did not tell me anything of his net worth before he died. Also, not with my sister.

However, when my two adult kids were visiting right after I retired they asked some probing questions about our finances. My wife and I told them our net worth and they were assured we were doing OK. They laughed and said that they thought so, but wanted to make sure.

They are both married with very good incomes, but I don't know their net worths.
Bacchus01
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Bacchus01 »

FIREchief wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:46 pm
Bacchus01 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:52 pm
dcdowden wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:24 pm At some point in the future if health or age issues become a significant concern, we will definitely share that with our children. But for now, they have no reason to know. There is a copy where they can find it just in case.
It does seem odd that you have complete transparency to your parents and very high transparency to your adult children, but won’t share that same to your children who may be in the same spot you are in with your parents BEFORE old age.
I see nothing odd here. I believe that the earlier poster already addressed this (the "just in case" comment).
It’s interesting that you see nothing odd. It’s also completely irrelevant as the message was for the OP.
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FIREchief
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by FIREchief »

Bacchus01 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:53 pm
FIREchief wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:46 pm
Bacchus01 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:52 pm
dcdowden wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:24 pm At some point in the future if health or age issues become a significant concern, we will definitely share that with our children. But for now, they have no reason to know. There is a copy where they can find it just in case.
It does seem odd that you have complete transparency to your parents and very high transparency to your adult children, but won’t share that same to your children who may be in the same spot you are in with your parents BEFORE old age.
I see nothing odd here. I believe that the earlier poster already addressed this (the "just in case" comment).
It’s interesting that you see nothing odd. It’s also completely irrelevant as the message was for the OP.
My mistake. I was responding to a public post. If you have a message intended only for the OP, the PM feature works great! :beer
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
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FIREchief
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by FIREchief »

galectin wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:49 pm Never with my father and he did not tell me anything of his net worth before he died. Also, not with my sister.

However, when my two adult kids were visiting right after I retired they asked some probing questions about our finances. My wife and I told them our net worth and they were assured we were doing OK. They laughed and said that they thought so, but wanted to make sure.

They are both married with very good incomes, but I don't know their net worths.
That sounds like legitimate concern, and likely one of those rare cases where it might make sense to share at least some of your financial status.
I am not a lawyer, accountant or financial advisor. Any advice or suggestions that I may provide shall be considered for entertainment purposes only.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by JoeRetire »

student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:25 pm Most professors are not doing it for money. Personally, I turned down an industrial job with a higher salary and a profit sharing plan to take a lower paying academic job because that's the job that I wanted. I am satisfied with my choice. Most of my colleagues live below their means and they can afford to retire though probably not at your level. Congratulations on your success.
Tell us about your pension?
It's the end of the world as we know it. | It's the end of the world as we know it. | It's the end of the world as we know it. | And I feel fine.
student
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by student »

JoeRetire wrote: Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:06 am
student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:25 pm Most professors are not doing it for money. Personally, I turned down an industrial job with a higher salary and a profit sharing plan to take a lower paying academic job because that's the job that I wanted. I am satisfied with my choice. Most of my colleagues live below their means and they can afford to retire though probably not at your level. Congratulations on your success.
Tell us about your pension?
I have no pension.
Rus In Urbe
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Rus In Urbe »

Que1999 » Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:26 pm
We hit 1m net worth on July 1st, a few days ago. It was a big milestone for DW and I. We were both very proud to have reached that milestone in our mid-late 30's.

I wanted to share, but only because both myself and DW both came from very humble beginnings. My father was an enlisted soldier. Mom worked odd-jobs but eventually got a decent civilian job attached to the military. DW's parents came from South America many years ago to secure a better way of life for their kids. They did. They are still working in their 60's and wish they could retire, and maybe they can, but it would probably be pretty tough....

We never learned about money. Never learned about investing for the future. Our parents had no idea, all they were taught was to work, work, work... We taught ourselves about investing, and only started really investing aggressively within the last 6-8 years.

I decided we wouldn't share our net worth. No good would come of it, at all. It's a private thing between DW and I, and this weekend we will have a nice private celebration in regards to reaching one of our financial goals.... The kids will know when they need to know, which will probably be many, many years in the future.

The next goal is early retirement, 6 years away. :sharebeer
You made just the right decision in keeping the news to yourself. It's great to be able to share the $1M mark (anonymously) among Bogleheads, who know what it takes to save $1M and who also know how much that is and how much it isn't! :D Sometimes relatives hear "a million dollars" and they start thinking of yachts and first class airfare. Nope.

So I just want to say, as a fellow BH, CONGRATS to you for climbing that big mountain against a lot of challenges! The first $1M feels great and, with your big pension, you have a lot to look forward to in terms of eventual retirement.

BRAVO to you both! :sharebeer :beer :sharebeer :beer :sharebeer :beer :sharebeer
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~Pablo Picasso
Wricha
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Wricha »

No, I would not share that information. I have yet to see any value in doing so, even on this board (no one has shown the value in it) unless they are assisting parents etc.

My Father who was in his late 90’s. Ask me if I was doing ok? He never made more than $25k/yr. By this time he was in an assisted living (very high end place) indoor swimming pool, resturant like sitting, private condo. He never paid attention to money he just turned his pay check over to my Mother who managed the modest household. He was persistent with his question. I finally told him over 8 figures. Expecting him to be blown away or not believing me. He looked at me and asked “is one and one still equal two?” Which did you earn that money honestly? I said yes and then we then talked about Thomas Aquinas or something.
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fire5soon
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by fire5soon »

I'm barely willing to admit what my light bill was last month, but I'm typically a very private person on details like this.
A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan
alrick
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by alrick »

Wife and I provide full financial disclosure information to our two married sons and their spouses each January. This is a full annual update on financial and other information on our assets and liabilities, including 12/31 balances in taxable and retirement accounts. This is part of our estate planning. They have now seen the ups and downs of our financial journey for more than 15 years, so they have become familiar with our financial, real estate shifts, other trends, and plans for the upcoming year(s). All this is to have them fully aware of our situation(s) when they need to attend to our estate when our journey ends.
dcabler
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by dcabler »

Short answer is no. There is no reason for anybody else to know except myself and my wife. Kid has a rough idea based on her FAFSA application.

All that said, my siblings already have a good idea that we're OK financially. Not because we're flashy or anything like that but because I'm the only one with a degree in technology who moved away and because at one time we purchased a house for my parents to live in until they passed away. Beyond that, money is just never a subject that was ever brought up when we were growing up and it continues whenever we get together. Of the 9 of us still alive, all but 3 are retired. 2 of us will retire within the next 4 years and the youngest one is destined to work forever.
flyingaway
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by flyingaway »

student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:02 pm
tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:25 pm
student wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 5:17 am
22twain wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 3:40 am Or a government employee whose salary is public record...
I teach at a public university so people can find out my salary. But of courses, professors, in general, are not well paid, so no issue there.
I was really surprised when I discovered how my some of my professors were making... it was 5-7x higher than I assumed they were making. They were very well paid.
5-7x higher that you have assumed. Maybe at MIT. Most are not as well paid. Here is a comprehensive data set. https://www.insidehighered.com/aaup-compensation-survey

Take the University of Idaho, a doctoral institution, for 2018-2019, the average salary of full professors is $95,900, the average salary of associate professors is $73,200 and the average salary of assistant professors is $62,800. These are averages across all disciplines, so a beginning assistant professor in history will likely be a few thousand dollars less than $62,800. I think this is hardly very well paid.
My son at 22 just graduated from college, got a job offer of $95,000 (CS). The assistant professors hired to teach him, usually between 30~40, receive about the same amount of initial salary.
However, we make competitive offers to hire assistant professors, subsequent raises are much slower at universities.
student
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by student »

flyingaway wrote: Fri Jul 05, 2019 7:56 am
student wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:02 pm
tesuzuki2002 wrote: Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:25 pm
student wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 5:17 am
22twain wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 3:40 am Or a government employee whose salary is public record...
I teach at a public university so people can find out my salary. But of courses, professors, in general, are not well paid, so no issue there.
I was really surprised when I discovered how my some of my professors were making... it was 5-7x higher than I assumed they were making. They were very well paid.
5-7x higher that you have assumed. Maybe at MIT. Most are not as well paid. Here is a comprehensive data set. https://www.insidehighered.com/aaup-compensation-survey

Take the University of Idaho, a doctoral institution, for 2018-2019, the average salary of full professors is $95,900, the average salary of associate professors is $73,200 and the average salary of assistant professors is $62,800. These are averages across all disciplines, so a beginning assistant professor in history will likely be a few thousand dollars less than $62,800. I think this is hardly very well paid.
My son at 22 just graduated from college, got a job offer of $95,000 (CS). The assistant professors hired to teach him, usually between 30~40, receive about the same amount of initial salary.
However, we make competitive offers to hire assistant professors, subsequent raises are much slower at universities.
At my university (R2), a beginning assistant professor in CS gets about $85,000 and a beginning assistant professor in writing/art history/foreign languages gets about $55,000. In the past few years, the average raises are just below inflation.
toocold
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by toocold »

We don't share our net worth with family, but the situation is very different between DW's inlaws and my mother. With my mother, I'm very transparent with how much we have. I also manage her money for her so I know to a tee how much she is worth. For my DW's family, it's strictly taboo to talk about money but I think they will think we're fine given the we've recently purchased another piece of investment property. With siblings and extended family members, we talk in generalities that we're well off.
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mapleosb
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by mapleosb »

Well, I did tell my 10 year old grandson when he asked and I said "multiple billions!"

He said, "Hey a guy could get rich with that someday" and then we continued fishing :D
hoops777
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by hoops777 »

Wow I guess money really is the root of all evil :D
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.
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changingtimes
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by changingtimes »

Dottie57 wrote: Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:00 pm I told my mom and dad at various points along the way. They have always been happy for me and proud. They told me about their resources too. No problems or jealousy at all. No my brother is a different story......
+1. I talk personal finance and investing with my dad a lot (a common interest). I only recently gave him a concrete number when I hit a pretty neat milestone--I think he was actually a bit shocked, but very proud that both myself and my sibling have done very well for ourselves, and have never remotely had any sort of money-related issues. (He's lucky we both took after him and not my shopaholic Mom :) .)

(I also told him so that he doesn't think that I'm in any way waiting for an inheritance. He's not a miser by any stretch, but just wanted to reinforce the idea that he should be spending what he has.)

I would probably tell my sibling my specifics if asked, but we don't really talk about it. I think knowing that we are in a similar financial strata helps that. If there were huge differences in net worth, then no way.
lexie2000
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by lexie2000 »

No we don't. People, even family members, can get "weird" about money.
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Michael Patrick
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Michael Patrick »

I don't tend to talk money with my sisters, but I have discussed finances with my brothers.

I have discussed our finances with my older daughter. Our younger daughter has autism, and older daughter will be her only family when we are gone. Out of necessity, I've discussed the preparations we've made towards that eventuality.
pmm
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by pmm »

parents, yes for career and investment advice. Sibling, no - things would get weird.
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Que1999
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Que1999 »

Rus In Urbe wrote: Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:25 am
Que1999 » Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:26 pm
We hit 1m net worth on July 1st, a few days ago. It was a big milestone for DW and I. We were both very proud to have reached that milestone in our mid-late 30's.

I wanted to share, but only because both myself and DW both came from very humble beginnings. My father was an enlisted soldier. Mom worked odd-jobs but eventually got a decent civilian job attached to the military. DW's parents came from South America many years ago to secure a better way of life for their kids. They did. They are still working in their 60's and wish they could retire, and maybe they can, but it would probably be pretty tough....

We never learned about money. Never learned about investing for the future. Our parents had no idea, all they were taught was to work, work, work... We taught ourselves about investing, and only started really investing aggressively within the last 6-8 years.

I decided we wouldn't share our net worth. No good would come of it, at all. It's a private thing between DW and I, and this weekend we will have a nice private celebration in regards to reaching one of our financial goals.... The kids will know when they need to know, which will probably be many, many years in the future.

The next goal is early retirement, 6 years away. :sharebeer
You made just the right decision in keeping the news to yourself. It's great to be able to share the $1M mark (anonymously) among Bogleheads, who know what it takes to save $1M and who also know how much that is and how much it isn't! :D Sometimes relatives hear "a million dollars" and they start thinking of yachts and first class airfare. Nope.

So I just want to say, as a fellow BH, CONGRATS to you for climbing that big mountain against a lot of challenges! The first $1M feels great and, with your big pension, you have a lot to look forward to in terms of eventual retirement.

BRAVO to you both! :sharebeer :beer :sharebeer :beer :sharebeer :beer :sharebeer
Thank you Rus! It is greatly appreciated...

Cheers!! :sharebeer
Katie
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by Katie »

Not at this stage. When my parents were alive, I'd tell them that I was maxing out retirement accounts, just so they wouldn't worry about me.

I have siblings that are all doing ok in their own right, and we may have some idea about who has more or less, but we've never discussed specific amounts or milestones. None of us are extravagant, and if anyone had an emergency, I'd be happy to help them (although I doubt they'd accept). I also expect they'd help me if necessary. We each want to know the others are "ok" but we don't need specifics.

I don't have any children, and I have wondered what I'd do if I were no longer mentally able to handle my finances. At that point, I'd probably work with one of my family members, possibly a niece or nephew, to help set up my finances so that they could help monitor the finances. In that case, I'd obviously share the details, but only because there is a specific purpose.
ER2023
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by ER2023 »

We do not share any information, but our family and friends are aware somewhat based on recent changes to our jobs (we both downshifted and sort of "retired" from good megacorp jobs), our house, generosity.

I will say that we learned a big lesson from our previous neighbors. They were both working good jobs and seemed to be happy with having "enough". His father decided to tell his children they would each get $2M upon his death. It was a surprise to the family since he was a solid middle class guy - they had no idea. That was over 15 years ago (he is still alive), and the way it changed his kids is quite unfortunate.
yousha
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by yousha »

Try not to!
ER2023
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Re: Do you share your net worth with family members?

Post by ER2023 »

nick evets wrote: Mon Jul 01, 2019 10:04 am No!

I save that information to share with tens of thousands of strangers on internet forums.
One of the funniest posts I've read!
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