Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

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Pax
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Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by Pax » Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:36 pm

Hi:
I hope I can get some guidance.

Background
My next door neighbor for 15 years moved and the new one that happens to be an attorney has this dog that barks 2-5 hours non-stop. I mentioned the barking to my neighbor's wife and she said that "she forgot and left the windows opened" - no acknowledgment of wrongdoing. At that point, I even offered to take the dog for a walk, if that could help -- I wanted to show goodwill. A couple of months later, the dog kept barking at different times and one Saturday morning at 7:15AM , I went over and left a yellow sticky on their door (The dog barks when the owners are not home.). This continued and I left a couple of more notes and finally I PUT letter in their mailbox (a mistake you cannot put anything on a US Mailbox other than mail). In the letter, I offered to help if I could and left my contact information. I heard nothing back.

A couple of more months, I am working on the front of the house and I see someone that looks exactly like my neighbor come down the 80 foot driveway and I am thinking that he is finally coming to talk to me about the dog *but* then he takes a right turn and goes behind my detached garage, heading to his house.

At this point, I decided to put a No Trespassing sign. I found one in the garage and put it on the ground facing his house. Later I found the sign face down. Then I put it on the garage windows facing the side of his house while I bought a sign on a stake.

As I am hammering the sign into the ground, he opens his side windows, gives me the finger, calls me a-hole and tells me that he is an attorney and that I was harassing him. He tells me to go to the street to talk (which I thought that he would) but he kept insulting...at which point I start to walk away (and I should have left the scene).
But somehow I came back and I told them the reason for the sign, his wife said it was not him (why would she?) that walked behind my garage. Among more insults, he said that I should have talked to him and not his wife. He took the tall stand with the chest up and then I noticed that he looked like un-medicated bipolar person. (Nothing is wrong with bipolar people if they are taking care of themselves, by the way). I realized that I could be in danger, I stayed calm but stay hostile. And I ask how to resolve the issue as neighbors and even extended my hand and he walked away...

Two Weeks Ago
I learned to ignore the dog barking and they must have done something because it happens less often now. Last week a tree fell in my property linewhen projected into the water (creek), very close to his property line and he cut the tree and pushed it into my property. I normally would not mind but I don't want him to CLAIM my property as his; or something like that.

He doesn't know but part of his pier is in my property (when the line is projected in the water). When I was getting a permit to built my pier, we saw that and artificially moved the line on the pier permit (because you are allowed one pier per house).

Should I do something, like a letter, "Please be aware the this my property line, thanks for removing the fallen tree?". Or I am worried about nothing?

Thanks and sorry for the long post... (actually, it has been nerve breaking having to go through all those insults. But what to do for the sake of harmony?)

Annapolitan

HomeStretch
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by HomeStretch » Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:53 pm

Sorry you have a difficult neighbor. Perhaps a fence would help. In my town, barking dogs can be reported as a nuisance to Animal Control. Preferable to resolve directly with a neighbor but sounds like that didn’t work out for you.

Olemiss540
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by Olemiss540 » Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:54 pm

My take is that you can't keep fighting hostility with hostility or it will continue to escalate. How about a thank you letter as you have noticed a sincere improvement in the dog barking? It seems you are happy to escalate with no trespassing signs and pier issues. Get more bees with honey...
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RollTide31457
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by RollTide31457 » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:00 pm

Build a tall wall. Walls work.

If the dog continues to bark, start dumping your trash in their yard.

Nothing worse than dealing with inconsiderate dog owners.

tigerdoc93
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by tigerdoc93 » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:04 pm

It sounds like you got the relationship off on the wrong foot. I’d do my best to be neighborly (even though it may be tough now). Try to de-escalate the situation by goodwill. You can start by removing the no trespassing sign. Treat people how you would want to be treated.

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leeks
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by leeks » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:15 pm

Have an outdoor party and invite him and his wife over for a drink or cup of tea. Start over and attempt to be friendly. Don't talk about any of the petty past stuff (unless you want to apologize for getting off on the wrong foot) and instead talk to each other as humans, find out about their family or children or whatever. Even be nice to their dog. Do this because it will make life better for you if you can get rid of this animosity.

If he is really a volatile personality (which it may be unfair to assume), at least you haven't let him *inside* your house. But assume you will be able to have cordial relations moving forward and I'd stop it with the notes and take down the no trespassing sign (both would seem passive-aggressive if a neighbor did that to me) and just completely let it go about the placement of the fallen tree and the pier issue you said he doesn't even know about and I assume is of no importance.

Knock on his door or wait until you catch him in person sometime if you have a reasonable complaint to lodge. But try to frame it in some nicer context or tie it in with something you can offer. Pick a bouquet of flowers from your yard or extra herbs/produce from your garden or whatever and bring them over with a renewed offer for dog walking when they are away for long periods. Or even ask them for some kind of reasonable tiny favor (we will be out of town this weekend, would you mind bringing our trash cans back from the curb?) just to do something to build the relationship.

The fact that this bothers you so much that you are posting it on a internet message board is much worse than any of the actions you mentioned. Do something to make it better just to get rid of this negativity, it is not good for you.

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F150HD
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by F150HD » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:20 pm

In before the lock..... :D
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JBTX
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by JBTX » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:29 pm

I've had a couple of neighbors with dogs who never shut up.

Take a large hard plastic bottle/ jar, and out some pennies in it. When the dog is barking, shake it. The dog will bark more. Keep doing it, but eventually go pound it against something, preferably a wood fence. They will promptly shut up and go elsewhere. From then on only a couple of shakes of the bottle with coins and the dog will stop the barking.

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celia
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by celia » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:34 pm

he looked like un-medicated bipolar person
What does this mean? (All the un-medicated bipolar people I know look very different from each other.)

Have you considered that maybe he IS bi-polar (or has another illness)?
Have you considered that maybe he claims to be an attorney, but isn't?
Have you considered that maybe he will live next to you for another 15 years?
Maybe all of these even apply!

Treat him and his wife as you do anyone else (say, like the neighbor on your other side). Be as tolerant of them as you can possibly be. Also talk to other neighbors and see if they notice anything unusual about these neighbors. Maybe, collectively, you can learn and help each other.

Jefferson
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by Jefferson » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:34 pm

I am not saying that you should confront him, but...

You should look up the laws on adverse possession in your state. Basically, the property line can move if he “adversely possesses” your property for X number of years. Building a structure over the property line could eventually cause the line to move.

IngognitoUSA
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by IngognitoUSA » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:46 pm

I disagree with a lot of people here. Trying to be nice and communicate with this neighbor is asking for trouble. Stay civil, keep your distance, and pursue everything the help of township or a local lawyer.

There are way too many people on legal medication or illegal substances that cannot be reasoned with. Just my 2 cents.

mikemikemike
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by mikemikemike » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:47 pm

Where do you live? In some parts of the world, the best course of action would be to talk to the neighbor again. In others, it would be to talk to police re: nuisance animal. In others, arming yourself might be prudent.

Sorry to hear about this situation: having bad neighbors is rough.

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fizxman
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by fizxman » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:05 pm

I definitely wouldn't talk to them, or at least not him, ever again. You already went above and beyond trying to be a nice neighbor by offering to help out and they chose not to accept your help.

If you think this is going to be an ongoing problem, gather evidence to, at the very least, protect you and your family, from this lawyer. I assume by telling you he's a lawyer that he's threatening you with legal action of some kind because most people don't randomly state their profession during an argument. I would install security cameras around your house (make sure they don't point at any of their windows, only point them at your property). If he trespasses again, get it on video. If he harasses you again, make sure it happens in front of your cameras. If it gets to be too much to handle, report it to the police along with all your evidence.

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TxAg
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by TxAg » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:14 pm

Just ignore him

And build a fence

buhlaxtus
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by buhlaxtus » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:17 pm

The neighbor's medications are nobody's business.

Best course of action is to handle problems like an adult instead of skulking around posting signs and taking video. It doesn't seem that the thread title is really related to the real concerns, which seem to be disliking the neighbor or being afraid of him. However If people walking on/near property line is a bother, one may put up a fence.

If a neighbor's pier has been on your property for some time, you may have some legal issues to navigate to reclaim the property, but you would need to consult someone with relevant local expertise to learn your options.

cableguy
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by cableguy » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:24 pm

“I’m a lawyer”. LOL. That’s his way of telling you he’s important and always right. My advice. Be polite. Be nice. But don’t let this jerk off ruin your day or rent space in your head. Dogs bark. Especially when new to an area. The dog will chill out. You’ll end up liking the dog more than the neighbors themselves. Hopefully it all works out. It probably will. But have boundaries....literally and figuratively....and don’t let this guy cross them over and over......

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Sandtrap
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by Sandtrap » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:33 pm

In Hawaii, neighbors and new neighbors take over food, or at least a large pie. "Talk story". Get off on the right foot.
But, that's an entirely unique culture. And, sadly, times have changed.

Actionably:

1. Take over an apple pie. Try to do a little "hoomalimali". (smoothing the waters). See what happens.

. . . but, it takes 2 doesn't it? People make their own choices, right or wrong.

2. If no result. You've tried your best. And, certainly do not want to empower or be bullied. Put up a fence. A good one for privacy along the property line. Then that's that.

3. After great fence is up along property line. Then courteous greetings are fine.

4. Time will pass.

Someday, he might approach you with an apology that he was going through a bad patch in life and took it out on you. You will become friends. You never know.
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siriusblack
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by siriusblack » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:39 pm

Ask him for a small favor one day. ("Hey, I'm gonna be out of town this weekend-- I really hate to ask, but would you mind grabbing my mail for a couple days? I would be happy to do the same for you anytime.") There's research that says people are more likely to be nice to you after they've done you a small favor. Although... maybe you're not on speaking terms, so that might not work unless you can find a couple opportunities to make small talk.

arf30
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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by arf30 » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:40 pm

After you've tried being nice - fence, cameras, lawyers, in that order. In my experience bending over backwards for people like this will only encourage them.

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Re: Neighbor Keeps Mildy Trespassing

Post by LadyGeek » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:44 pm

This thread has run its course and is locked (relationship issue). See: Acceptable Topics and Subforum Guidelines
This is an investing and personal finance forum. We also maintain a subforum that allow our members to discuss consumer goods and services and recreational activities. Anything else is considered "Off Topic" and is not acceptable on this forum.
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