Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

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TomatoTomahto
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by TomatoTomahto » Mon May 20, 2019 12:38 pm

GCD wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:29 pm
The horrible, controlling, paternalistic comment was aimed at the educators who presume to know what is best for a kid. It wasn't aimed at the day-to-day experience of the kid in school. Perhaps it is an American trait, but I am quick to reject dictatorial power in authority figures. Especially outside of the hard sciences. If an engineer tells me that something needs to be done to build a safe bridge, I go along with it and defer to his expertise. However, after many years of higher education and life experience with my own kids as well, I am beyond skeptical that education professionals actually have something one could call expertise. No offense to the professional educators on BH who I am sure are in the upper 1% of education professionals. :wink:
There is nothing more frustrating than an administrator telling you what and who your child is. It reminds me of staff at DMV.

If I had it to do over, I’d only enroll my kids at schools that had principals who are BH forum members :D
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

welsie
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by welsie » Mon May 20, 2019 12:38 pm

I think the bigger question is how involved you will be as parents. If you are outsourcing education entirely, then send them to a good private school, if you plan on being actively involved in their enrichment, then I don't know if it matters. If you are well off, you are going to have enrichment and education experience their peers will not which will broaden their horizons. If they are bored in school you can always go private later.

Krui24
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Krui24 » Mon May 20, 2019 12:47 pm

There are always lots of anecdotes addressing this question (My kids did x and they are [fine / disastrous])

Studies are difficult (can't do a true random controlled study) but they have found ways of isolating the effects of public vs. private. This is a recent example.

https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2018/08 ... come-study

Basically, most of them find that kids from more selective schools perform better on average, but that once you plug family income and parents' education into the equation, any difference disappears. In other words, great private schools, on average, won't do much to boost the life outcomes of lower income kids, and mediocre public schools won't do much to deter the success of higher-income kids.

It's a sad fact of life but life outcomes are (on average) more determined by your parents than they are by you. This would suggest that paying big bucks for private school may be a waste of money.

I personally could afford private but I think my kids will learn more about the real world (in preparation for imperfect institutions, imperfect bosses, imperfect colleagues) in public than they will in coddled private.

GCD
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by GCD » Mon May 20, 2019 12:58 pm

welsie wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:38 pm
I think the bigger question is how involved you will be as parents... if you plan on being actively involved in their enrichment, then I don't know if it matters.
The problem is that kids spend 8 hours at school and that is mentally draining. It's especially draining if the kid is bright, but being underserved. The school has them for their best and freshest hours and then you try to do something "enriching" after they come home. In my son's case, we eventually pulled him out of school and homeschooled him. Trying to push him along after a draining exasperating day in the classroom wasn't productive. He came home tired and cranky, and I didn't blame him. This was in 5th grade, so an older kid might have more mental discipline.

Once we started homeschooling and cut out all the stupidness, he did quite well. We used online courses from https://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/ as the core of the curriculum. Now that he is in public HS, we do enriching stuff outside school, but he is older and more capable of handling a longer day.

psteinx
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by psteinx » Mon May 20, 2019 1:27 pm

Long thread and I'm coming in late. That said:

1) Be suspicious of any rating that relies too much on test scores. The primary determinant of such test scores is likely to be the prowess of the kids coming in, not the value added by the school itself. I'm not saying the latter is irrelevant, but it's likely overwhelmed by the former in most comparisons.

2) A kid who is smart and has parents who are pushing him appropriately will likely be in gifted/honors program(s), at a public school, if such programs are available. They don't necessarily start for the youngest, but are, I think, fairly common at slightly older ages. A few privates may have such programs, too, but I suspect they're rarer for privates. So, if you think your kid is likely to be in a gifted/honors program, compare THAT to the private alternative. Note, though, that gifted/honors programs don't necessarily cover all hours, all days, all grades.

3) At an academically strong private, the kids are likely stronger too, but they're also likely wealthier. Even if you yourself are wealthy, you may not want your kids surrounded mostly by rich kids at school. Parental attitudes may be more entitled for the latter, too.

4) The commuting aspect can be a major factor. The difference between 5-10 minutes, to a neighborhood school, versus 15-30 (or more) to a private, sounds modest, but will add up over time and MANY trips to the school, for both the kid and the parents. The extra distance may create a sense of separation that makes it harder for the parent to be closely involved, or for the kid to coordinate extra-curriculars and the like. While kids do spend more time on screens these days, the lack of ability to easily socialize (due to distance), outside of school hours, with their schoolmates is, I think, a major drawback.

psteinx
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by psteinx » Mon May 20, 2019 1:36 pm

Also, fwiw, when trying to make educational decisions for our kids, when they were younger, I tried to do it in what might be broadly called an "evidence based" approach. Tried to read literature on the subject, study the numbers on certain schools, etc.

But, it wasn't super-fruitful. The academic literature is mostly geared at administrators and to some extent teachers. It's classroom/school focused (how to run schools better/teach better). And even that seemed disproportionately focused on struggling kids, rather than high-performing kids.

There's not much to usefully guide parents. There's a bit on differential outcomes between types of schools, but I wasn't really sold on the quality of what was there.

===

We've ultimately stayed public (from K-12 anyways), in part because of the concerns suggested in my post above (distance to privates, not crazy about the social environment/dynamics of the main privates under consideration). FWIW, I think our publics are good but not great. We supplemented in various ways, including a lot of summer programs. And our kids were in assorted gifted/accelerated/honors programs from about 3rd grade on (though these only covered a portion of their time in school).

Mostly I've been satisfied with our path. That said, there are drawbacks. College advising for high performing kids (who might realistically target highly selective colleges) is relatively weak, IMO, and that's probably a contributing factor to a somewhat disappointing college application results* for our middle kid (though there are other possible factors).

* Edited. Results included, I think, 1 waitlist and 2 rejections (possibly it was 2 WL, 1 reject). I thought 2 out of those 3 should probably have admitted him.
Last edited by psteinx on Mon May 20, 2019 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TheDDC
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by TheDDC » Mon May 20, 2019 1:40 pm

notsobright wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 4:18 am
Hello, my kids will be going into 4th 2nd and K this coming school year. The 2 oldest are doing well but my DW and I have growing reservations about the nearby public school system. Currently the elementary /middle / and high schools are all “B” rated schools (6/10 great school rankings). We have the option to send all 3 children next year to a “prestigious” very expensive college prep private school for 30k a pop (90k /yr for all 3)

Money isn’t an issue (sold a business). And we love our house and location so moving is out of the question. The private school is only about 20 minutes away.

I’ve already read every private school post on this board :) but still wanted to hear what you all might have to say. So, What would you guys do in my situation? Keep rolling the dice with the “good enough” school district that our kids have done well in so far, or send them to the elite private school that is extremely expensive but still well within our budget?

** DW and I are also very impressed by the private school offerings fwiw, much smaller class sizes , great arts, athletics , and community programs)
** DW and I both went to rather poor public schools



*** EDIT **** MORE DETAILS AS REQUESTED

Lots of people asking what our reservations are.

The schools have recently been rezoned, going from 10% free lunch to 50% free lunch. As you can imagine, this has a direct correlation with the school's test scores. We also spent a day observing the kids and noticed some disruptive children with behavior problems that we felt were not handled to our satisfaction, this was really the event that kick started this whole thing.

The 3rd and the 1st grader are both at the top of their class.
DW is a SAHM.


I'll just spill out some specifics, here's the school where they attend now

https://www.greatschools.org/maryland/t ... ry-School/
https://www.schooldigger.com/go/MD/scho ... chool.aspx
https://www.niche.com/k12/pot-spring-el ... monium-md/

and the private school we're looking at

https://www.niche.com/k12/mcdonogh-scho ... -mills-md/


** EDIT 2 **

For fun I decided to start keeping score:
Stay Public: 17
Switch to Private: 23
Do Both: 5
I'd stick with the public school.

BTW are you high net worth, ultra high net worth, or ultra super high net worth?

-TheDDC

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notsobright
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by notsobright » Mon May 20, 2019 2:02 pm

TheDDC wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 1:40 pm
I'd stick with the public school.

BTW are you high net worth, ultra high net worth, or ultra super high net worth?

-TheDDC
~10M.. so between high and ultra... very?

Isabelle77
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Isabelle77 » Mon May 20, 2019 2:15 pm

OP, you have the luxury of deciding which school is a better fit for your children. I think it is absolutely impossible to judge "public school" vs "private school" without taking into account the actual child attending the school and then (of course) the school itself. You are in the enviable position of not really having to consider the financial aspect of it and can just do what is best for your children, which could be different for each child. And that decision doesn't have to be final either.

I grew up in elite private schools. I had an excellent education and went to an excellent college. Now I'm a SAHM :) My husband grew up in public schools and makes a great living that supports our family. Our children go to private schools where we live now, outside of Portland OR. but we are moving next month to outside of Boston, MA and they will attend public school there.

In your situation, I would try the private and if you don't care for it, switch back to public. It doesn't hurt to give it a shot if you aren't happy now.

psteinx
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by psteinx » Mon May 20, 2019 2:27 pm

notsobright wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 2:02 pm
TheDDC wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 1:40 pm
I'd stick with the public school.

BTW are you high net worth, ultra high net worth, or ultra super high net worth?

-TheDDC
~10M.. so between high and ultra... very?
While $10M is an enormous amount, and vastly more than most Americans (including those who send their kids to private schools) and most BHs, it is NOT an entirely inexhaustable pile.

You've said DW is SAHM, and it's not clear you plan on working in the future. You're presumably young, so perhaps you want to position yourself that the $10M will last your lifetime. Perhaps you've got an equity-heavy portfolio (or will, once your company sale is fully shaken out). Declines of 50%+ in equity markets ARE possible.

You've got 3 kids approaching K, 2, 4. So that's 13, 11, 9 years of K-12 remaining, or a total of 33 years. 33 years at $30K/kid (current pricing) is ~$1M. Private colleges without financial aid can now be over $70K/year, so, worst case you're looking at $800K+ there. All of this stuff is likely to go up at somewhat higher than inflation, so it's probably realistic to think of the costs of all of this education at something like $2M in today's money. That's obviously < $10M and even <$5M, but it's not nothing, and it's not an inconsequential fraction of the overall portfolio.
Last edited by psteinx on Mon May 20, 2019 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JBTX
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by JBTX » Mon May 20, 2019 2:35 pm

In general I don't think private schools are worth the extra money. You could pay for a full-time tutor and still save money. I generally think kids will rise to their ability provided they have sufficient parental support.

This relates to college, but the points are similar.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.peters ... ion/%3famp




However, having said that, if money were no object and public schools were middling and private schools fabulous I'd send them to the private.

kaudrey
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by kaudrey » Mon May 20, 2019 2:36 pm

I'd do public until junior high or high school, then go private.

z91
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by z91 » Mon May 20, 2019 3:31 pm

The rating is a bit misleading IMO. Very recently GreatSchools started adding this "equity" metric which had really bad ratings in HCOL areas. This particular school posted has good (IMO) academic and test scores. The equity is terrible which to me means there are a lot of well off folks in the area.

I'd just send them to public school. I wouldn't want my kids to hang out with the rich kids all the time. Otherwise nice flex OP.

EddyB
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by EddyB » Mon May 20, 2019 3:41 pm

GCD wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:29 pm
Perhaps it is an American trait, but I am quick to reject dictatorial power in authority figures.
Pretty sure it's not. Take that how you will.

housewife
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by housewife » Mon May 20, 2019 4:04 pm

You can certainly afford to send all three kids to private school. However, whether it might impact the quality of life in your future retirement is not entirely clear. $10mm is a lot of money, but certainly not at a level where you can spend at will when you have a SAHW and three young children. Expenses related to going to private school go far beyond tuitions and fees. There will be fundraising events, there will be pressure of “keeping up with the Joneses”, to name a few. So one important question is whether you have a stable, high income job that you plan to carry on for a while. If yes, I would say go for it. If not, I would think twice before enrolling all three in a private school.

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JPH
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by JPH » Mon May 20, 2019 5:25 pm

If money is not an issue, I see no disadvantage to an elite private school. Try it. If issues arise that cause concern, then switch to another private school or public school.
While the moments do summersaults into eternity | Cling to their coattails and beg them to stay - Townes Van Zandt

softwaregeek
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by softwaregeek » Mon May 20, 2019 5:44 pm

Here is my perspective.

I went to an elite private school in a top-tier US city and my kids go to what is perceived to be one of the very best public schools in one of the best scoring districts in California (Cupertino).

My kids school is terrible in my opinion. Yes, the parents are insanely well educated, the parents pay for tutoring and cram school. The school does nothing to speak of except warehouse the kids until their after school classes.

The district crows about the math results their students have but there are 1,700 students at the local after-school math program, paying $2k per head per year to do what the district won't.

Go private. You won't regret it.

veindoc
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by veindoc » Mon May 20, 2019 6:18 pm

I would send my kids to the best school possible for them and for me.

That means looking at school ratings, type of colleges kids go to, number of APs, diversity within the school, proximity to home etc etc

For me it meant moving into the best school district even though it meant purchasing a home twice as expensive.

I knew there were excellent public schools and positioned myself to go to the best one. I didn’t even consider private school.

Having said that, I think we chose the wrong school. One of my kids is a geographic wizard but the district doesn’t participate in the National Geographic bee. I have been lobbying hard but no one cares. The school is skewed toward STEM- science Olympiad, chess club etc.

Sadly our second choice school district next door does participate. Sigh.....
Sometimes the bet research fails us.
Good luck.

J295
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by J295 » Mon May 20, 2019 6:30 pm

For OP. Private school.

Bacchus01
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Bacchus01 » Mon May 20, 2019 8:57 pm

Starfish wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 11:34 am
Bacchus01 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 7:26 am
Starfish wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 7:59 pm
I find amazing that people judge the value of a school by arts and sports programs. Nobody seems to say: that school is good, it teaches kids a lot of math, physics, chemistry or biology. That school got gold in math Olympics.
Really, sports?

The most important thing in a school is to select and separate kids based on ability and intellectual levels and to promote some kind of competition. Most schools in US don't do this, private or public.
While I generally agree with your statement about lack of emphasis sometimes on academics, Sports can be a very important part of development for kids. I'm a huge believer in it, not because I think my kids are going to get some scholarship money, but sports can be a platform to teach kids to take direction from others, work hard, be competitive, be team-oriented, know what it feels like to win AND lose, perform in front of others, take criticism...oh, and develop physical experiences that are healthy and may drive healthier living long term. My kids have had some great coaches and some terrible coaches. When they complain, I tell them that they can learn as much from a bad coach about what not to do as a good coach on what to do. I give the same advice to young professionals, you can learn as much from a bad boss as a good boss. My experience is that, like sports, one or both of you will be moving on within a year, so power through it and learn.
Nowhere in the Western world sports have much importance in a kids life (I am talking about competitive sports, not sports as a hobby) maybe except some parts of UK society and Australia. Are you saying for example that Germans cannot take directions or do not work hard? What about Chinese? Japanese?

Also I don't think is anything healthy about competitive sports.
I have nothing against sports, but I don not thing they should be a major (or even secondary) criterion in choosing a school.
Why are you dealing in absolutes? And I do believe strongly that the US I’d the most competitive, driven culture in the world. You don’t maintain this role if not.

You should also spend time in those countries before saying they are not sports obsessed.

finite_difference
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by finite_difference » Mon May 20, 2019 9:20 pm

mlebuf wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 4:23 pm
Speaking as a retired professor my belief is that education money is best spent on a great K-12 education. Most parents send their kids to a convenient school for K-12 and then save to pay for an expensive college. The kids who get a great K-12 education will likely do very well in college and later in life regardless of where they get their higher education. Great buildings and great minds are built on a strong foundation.

If money is not an issue, I would opt for a great private school, with a track record of turning out high achievers in life. Keep in mind that not all private schools are created equally. To be sure, there are many great public and parochial schools out there too. When I taught at the University of New Orleans, I taught a good number of young women who graduated from Mt. Carmel Academy - a New Orleans girl's parochial school. All were excellent students. In New Orleans, the private school of high achieving grads is Isadore Newman. Out here it's Phoenix Country Day School. Both are expensive but both turn out great grads. Two boys who live across the street went to PCDS. One is going to be a junior in college. He told me that college is easier than PCDS was. The other is about to graduate from high school and will be off to college in the fall. When he was 13 he hated how hard school was. I told him, "It's the best job you'll ever hate." Another friend's son is a PCDS grad. His father and grandfather went to LSU and he was bound and determined to go there. He got a full scholarship to LSU, just completed his sophomore year and is making almost all A's.
New Orleans has like the worst public school system in the country. NOLA also has some of the worst infrastructure as well, so not sure what the local government is doing right, if anything. So yes, in that case you have no choice. In the scenario the OP outlined, the choice was between a “good” public school and an “elite” private school. Not the worst case scenario you outlined.
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. - Thich Nhat Hanh

finite_difference
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by finite_difference » Mon May 20, 2019 9:40 pm

Sandtrap wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 9:12 am
finite_difference wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 8:26 am
Sandtrap wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 8:05 am
Get the best education that money can buy if you can afford it.
Potentially the highest lifetime returns per dollar spent. :D
I generally agree with this, but paying $30k per year for 13 years (K-12) seems like a steep cost to recover, if you can get basically the same thing for free (not really free but you are already paying for it.)

That’s $390k. Probably more like $600k by the time they are 18, and $3,000,000 thirty years after that.

College is different because there’s no guaranteed free equivalent.
By "highest lifetime returns", I alluded to value far exceeding what can be entered in a spreadsheet or calculator.
Should have put that one in to clarify.
Cheers. :D
I agree with the fact that education offers a lifetime return greater than money can quantify, but $30k/year is a lot of money to pay for something that can be had for free.

Also, a more fair comparison would be to take the public school (free) and then spend that $30k on things like piano lessons, a private tutor in mathematics, history, Spanish and Chinese, summer school or interns in other countries, etc. I can think of a lot of educationally valuable ways to spend $30k/year. I am finding that a lot of enriching experiences can be had for very free or very cheap. A lot of college professors may be happy to accept free student labor from a motivated High Schooler. Foreign language schools and other adult schools or hobby activities are very inexpensive.

If money was no object you could do both, but otherwise you’d want to pick the best combination.
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. - Thich Nhat Hanh

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Sandtrap
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Sandtrap » Mon May 20, 2019 11:17 pm

finite_difference wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 9:40 pm
Sandtrap wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 9:12 am
finite_difference wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 8:26 am
Sandtrap wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 8:05 am
Get the best education that money can buy if you can afford it.
Potentially the highest lifetime returns per dollar spent. :D
I generally agree with this, but paying $30k per year for 13 years (K-12) seems like a steep cost to recover, if you can get basically the same thing for free (not really free but you are already paying for it.)

That’s $390k. Probably more like $600k by the time they are 18, and $3,000,000 thirty years after that.

College is different because there’s no guaranteed free equivalent.
By "highest lifetime returns", I alluded to value far exceeding what can be entered in a spreadsheet or calculator.
Should have put that one in to clarify.
Cheers. :D
I agree with the fact that education offers a lifetime return greater than money can quantify, but $30k/year is a lot of money to pay for something that can be had for free.

Also, a more fair comparison would be to take the public school (free) and then spend that $30k on things like piano lessons, a private tutor in mathematics, history, Spanish and Chinese, summer school or interns in other countries, etc. I can think of a lot of educationally valuable ways to spend $30k/year. I am finding that a lot of enriching experiences can be had for very free or very cheap. A lot of college professors may be happy to accept free student labor from a motivated High Schooler. Foreign language schools and other adult schools or hobby activities are very inexpensive.

If money was no object you could do both, but otherwise you’d want to pick the best combination.
Great points!
j :happy

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Sandtrap
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Sandtrap » Mon May 20, 2019 11:20 pm

TomatoTomahto wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:38 pm
GCD wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:29 pm
The horrible, controlling, paternalistic comment was aimed at the educators who presume to know what is best for a kid. It wasn't aimed at the day-to-day experience of the kid in school. Perhaps it is an American trait, but I am quick to reject dictatorial power in authority figures. Especially outside of the hard sciences. If an engineer tells me that something needs to be done to build a safe bridge, I go along with it and defer to his expertise. However, after many years of higher education and life experience with my own kids as well, I am beyond skeptical that education professionals actually have something one could call expertise. No offense to the professional educators on BH who I am sure are in the upper 1% of education professionals. :wink:
There is nothing more frustrating than an administrator telling you what and who your child is. It reminds me of staff at DMV.

If I had it to do over, I’d only enroll my kids at schools that had principals who are BH forum members :D
+1
Well said.

Reminds me of the "sloth DMV" scene in the animated movie Zootopia.
Clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SmyATAYsNs

MathIsMyWayr
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by MathIsMyWayr » Tue May 21, 2019 12:11 am

quantAndHold wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 10:57 am
Except for the very worst schools, the education *your* kid gets will be influenced more by what’s happening at home than by the school they go to. I suspect most children of Bogleheads would do just fine at 90% of the schools out there, public or private.
There are no bad schools or bad teachers. There are only bad parents.

15-year-old students’ scholastic performance on mathematics, science and reading.
Average Score of PISA Mathematics, Science and Reading - top 10:
1. Singapore 551.7
2. Hong Kong 532.7
3. Japan 528.7
4. Macau 527.3
5. Estonia 524.3
6. Canada 523.7
7. Taiwan 523.7
8. Finland 522.7
9. South Korea 519.0
10. China 514.3
.
.
.
31. United States 487.7

Starfish
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Starfish » Tue May 21, 2019 12:41 am

Bacchus01 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 8:57 pm
Starfish wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 11:34 am
Bacchus01 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 7:26 am
Starfish wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 7:59 pm
I find amazing that people judge the value of a school by arts and sports programs. Nobody seems to say: that school is good, it teaches kids a lot of math, physics, chemistry or biology. That school got gold in math Olympics.
Really, sports?

The most important thing in a school is to select and separate kids based on ability and intellectual levels and to promote some kind of competition. Most schools in US don't do this, private or public.
While I generally agree with your statement about lack of emphasis sometimes on academics, Sports can be a very important part of development for kids. I'm a huge believer in it, not because I think my kids are going to get some scholarship money, but sports can be a platform to teach kids to take direction from others, work hard, be competitive, be team-oriented, know what it feels like to win AND lose, perform in front of others, take criticism...oh, and develop physical experiences that are healthy and may drive healthier living long term. My kids have had some great coaches and some terrible coaches. When they complain, I tell them that they can learn as much from a bad coach about what not to do as a good coach on what to do. I give the same advice to young professionals, you can learn as much from a bad boss as a good boss. My experience is that, like sports, one or both of you will be moving on within a year, so power through it and learn.
Nowhere in the Western world sports have much importance in a kids life (I am talking about competitive sports, not sports as a hobby) maybe except some parts of UK society and Australia. Are you saying for example that Germans cannot take directions or do not work hard? What about Chinese? Japanese?

Also I don't think is anything healthy about competitive sports.
I have nothing against sports, but I don not thing they should be a major (or even secondary) criterion in choosing a school.
Why are you dealing in absolutes? And I do believe strongly that the US I’d the most competitive, driven culture in the world. You don’t maintain this role if not.

You should also spend time in those countries before saying they are not sports obsessed.
I lived in Europe until 25. I have childhood friends all over Europe, with kids, and in US. Some of them are in teaching. I participated in education in US and in my country. I think I have a reasonably informed opinion.

I don't want to drag this topic any further. My intention from the beginning was not to compare various education systems around the world - useless and not actionable - but to obtain an understanding why sports and arts are seen as part a good school while academics are of much less concern. Which for me is exactly the opposite of how things should be.

Dottie57
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Dottie57 » Tue May 21, 2019 1:12 am

SQRT wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 10:37 am
GCD wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 7:36 pm
RickBoglehead wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 7:21 pm
I was referring to high school students driving BMWs and other cars that IMO a high school student should not have access to.
So how does this work if the family car is a BMW?

The inherent problem with being high wealth is your kids will inevitably live a high net worth lifestyle. In the long run, that will work out however it does because you can't really force the kid to go live in a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere while they are still a kid. Never eat out at nice places and only take the kid to McDonalds? How do you separate your kid from your lifestyle?

It seems silly to expect that a family with a BMW and a Mercedes should go out and buy a Camry just to make the kid drive something "normal". Presumably the kid grew up being driven around by his parents in a BMW. Which is worse, making the kid drive mom's car to school (which is a BMW), or buying the kid his own car (of any type)?
Why is it always a BMW? I drive one. My wife drives one. Bought my daughter one. Heck even my Xwife drives one. All of us are pretty normal(well maybe not the X). Do people here really think that driving a BMW automatically will make the driver an entitled arrogant jerk?
Most f the BMW drivers I knew were jerks who were highly impressed. with themselves for driving BMWs. This was not the total population of BMW drivers - just the load ones.

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mrspock
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by mrspock » Tue May 21, 2019 1:55 am

Krui24 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:47 pm
There are always lots of anecdotes addressing this question (My kids did x and they are [fine / disastrous])

Studies are difficult (can't do a true random controlled study) but they have found ways of isolating the effects of public vs. private. This is a recent example.

https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2018/08 ... come-study

Basically, most of them find that kids from more selective schools perform better on average, but that once you plug family income and parents' education into the equation, any difference disappears. In other words, great private schools, on average, won't do much to boost the life outcomes of lower income kids, and mediocre public schools won't do much to deter the success of higher-income kids.

It's a sad fact of life but life outcomes are (on average) more determined by your parents than they are by you. This would suggest that paying big bucks for private school may be a waste of money.

I personally could afford private but I think my kids will learn more about the real world (in preparation for imperfect institutions, imperfect bosses, imperfect colleagues) in public than they will in coddled private.
This. Anecdote from my family: 3 of my four siblings still *alive* (let that sink in)... went to public school. I unquestionably blame this as contributing factor in this outcome. Incomes? Well 3/4 public schoolers entered higher paying careers/degrees.

Let your kid be the “smart kid” in the public school or (public) university when the time comes. Be proud of them. Don’t throw them to the sharks... if private were free... you couldn’t pay me to send my kid there.

Tanelorn
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Tanelorn » Tue May 21, 2019 2:09 am

Krui24 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 12:47 pm
Basically, most of them find that kids from more selective schools perform better on average, but that once you plug family income and parents' education into the equation, any difference disappears. In other words, great private schools, on average, won't do much to boost the life outcomes of lower income kids, and mediocre public schools won't do much to deter the success of higher-income kids.

It's a sad fact of life but life outcomes are (on average) more determined by your parents than they are by you. This would suggest that paying big bucks for private school may be a waste of money.
You may be drawing the wrong conclusion from that correlation. Parental income and education is probably a proxy for various positive genetic factors. I think learning can be most effective in an environment with similarly capable peers, ie tracking among high / average / low performing students in a given field or in general. Too much range in abaility makes it hard for the teacher to address everyone’s needs and will lose the low end kids and bore the high end ones. Some public schools do this well, others do quite badly. Private schools definitely avoid some of the lower end of the student body since they can be selective unlike public schools (avoiding disruptive or particularly unqualified students), which is an advantage for sure. In addition, very selective “prestigious” private schools often have higher standards so this essentially helps enforce a higher, more uniform student group which is easier to teach.
MathIsMyWayr wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:11 am
There are no bad schools or bad teachers. There are only bad parents.
There are definitely bad schools and bad teachers, but they tend to be able to cause worse outcomes, either though incompetence or neglect, more than engender great ones. There are truly exceptional teachers who can, but that’s very rare. Parents have more ability to influence the upside.

Also, your list may be a combination of genetic and cultural factors, more than “parenting” per se. it can be hard to separate those.

bluebolt
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by bluebolt » Tue May 21, 2019 3:38 am

MathIsMyWayr wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:11 am
quantAndHold wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 10:57 am
Except for the very worst schools, the education *your* kid gets will be influenced more by what’s happening at home than by the school they go to. I suspect most children of Bogleheads would do just fine at 90% of the schools out there, public or private.
There are no bad schools or bad teachers. There are only bad parents.

15-year-old students’ scholastic performance on mathematics, science and reading.
Average Score of PISA Mathematics, Science and Reading - top 10:
1. Singapore 551.7
2. Hong Kong 532.7
3. Japan 528.7
4. Macau 527.3
5. Estonia 524.3
6. Canada 523.7
7. Taiwan 523.7
8. Finland 522.7
9. South Korea 519.0
10. China 514.3
.
.
.
31. United States 487.7
Scores vary significantly by state. For example, Massachusetts compares favorably with some of the best performing countries.

https://www.oecd.org/pisa/PISA-2015-Uni ... tes-MA.pdf

Always passive
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Always passive » Tue May 21, 2019 4:14 am

The problem with private schools is that they are lightly regulated, if at all, so you need to take a very active role to make sure that all goes well. I have had experiences with my children in California, private versus public, and now my grandchildren. My grandson went to a highly regarded pre- kindergarten, all was well until my daughter found out that he was mistreated. We are still paying the consequences with emotional problems that have required professional help. After a year, he is much better, but things do happen!

Bottom line: Private schools are not necessary better

Bacchus01
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Bacchus01 » Tue May 21, 2019 5:41 am

Starfish wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:41 am
Bacchus01 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 8:57 pm
Starfish wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 11:34 am
Bacchus01 wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 7:26 am
Starfish wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 7:59 pm
I find amazing that people judge the value of a school by arts and sports programs. Nobody seems to say: that school is good, it teaches kids a lot of math, physics, chemistry or biology. That school got gold in math Olympics.
Really, sports?

The most important thing in a school is to select and separate kids based on ability and intellectual levels and to promote some kind of competition. Most schools in US don't do this, private or public.
While I generally agree with your statement about lack of emphasis sometimes on academics, Sports can be a very important part of development for kids. I'm a huge believer in it, not because I think my kids are going to get some scholarship money, but sports can be a platform to teach kids to take direction from others, work hard, be competitive, be team-oriented, know what it feels like to win AND lose, perform in front of others, take criticism...oh, and develop physical experiences that are healthy and may drive healthier living long term. My kids have had some great coaches and some terrible coaches. When they complain, I tell them that they can learn as much from a bad coach about what not to do as a good coach on what to do. I give the same advice to young professionals, you can learn as much from a bad boss as a good boss. My experience is that, like sports, one or both of you will be moving on within a year, so power through it and learn.
Nowhere in the Western world sports have much importance in a kids life (I am talking about competitive sports, not sports as a hobby) maybe except some parts of UK society and Australia. Are you saying for example that Germans cannot take directions or do not work hard? What about Chinese? Japanese?

Also I don't think is anything healthy about competitive sports.
I have nothing against sports, but I don not thing they should be a major (or even secondary) criterion in choosing a school.
Why are you dealing in absolutes? And I do believe strongly that the US I’d the most competitive, driven culture in the world. You don’t maintain this role if not.

You should also spend time in those countries before saying they are not sports obsessed.
I lived in Europe until 25. I have childhood friends all over Europe, with kids, and in US. Some of them are in teaching. I participated in education in US and in my country. I think I have a reasonably informed opinion.

I don't want to drag this topic any further. My intention from the beginning was not to compare various education systems around the world - useless and not actionable - but to obtain an understanding why sports and arts are seen as part a good school while academics are of much less concern. Which for me is exactly the opposite of how things should be.
Dealing in absolutes again. I haven’t seen one post to suggest that sports and arts are of huge concern over “academics.”

investingdad
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by investingdad » Tue May 21, 2019 5:58 am

I always look at it this way.

What kind of school did I attend? Rural, public school.
How were the academics? Ok, nothing special.
How was the environment? Fine, what you'd expect for a rural school.
Did it prep me for college? Yes, attended B10 for engineering.
What about my wife? Same story.
How are we doing? Really great, 2 comma club before 40.

So, we are more than ok sending our kids to a very similar public school. And we are.

Cyanide123
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Cyanide123 » Tue May 21, 2019 6:49 am

If it were my children, I would pick private school if money was no object whatsoever. A school rated a 6 is probably terrible :P

But at the same time, parenting and genetics play a huge role at the end of the day. Smart kids are likely to excel in most situations, but the private education will likely give better opportunities. But in the end, it really comes down to the child and how serious they take their responsibilities.

If my highschool from Pakistan was ranked, it may get a solid 5-6 score perhaps. But it was never something that kept myself or my siblings from success. My father was a firm believer that success depends on the individual and he had faith that his flesh and blood would not disappoint him. My siblings and I, we all went to mediocre schools in Pakistan. Between the 3 of us, there are two doctors and one computer architectural engineer who quit his job to start a consulting firm that probably is worth 10-20 mil right now. We went from mediocre schooling in Pakistan to the top colleges in the US and then successful careers. It really comes down to upbringing and genetics. But if it was my children and money was not a consideration, it would be private school. But deep down inside, I probably would know that wherever my children went, they would do fine in life, just like my dad knew.

SQRT
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by SQRT » Tue May 21, 2019 7:18 am

Dottie57 wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 1:12 am
SQRT wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 10:37 am

Why is it always a BMW? I drive one. My wife drives one. Bought my daughter one. Heck even my Xwife drives one. All of us are pretty normal(well maybe not the X). Do people here really think that driving a BMW automatically will make the driver an entitled arrogant jerk?
Most f the BMW drivers I knew were jerks who were highly impressed. with themselves for driving BMWs. This was not the total population of BMW drivers - just the load ones.
Really? How big is your sample? There are millions of BMW’s on the road in the US as they sell about 300,000-350,000 per year there. What is your experience with Mercedes owners? Or F150 owners? Or Camry owners? Must be a really simple and “effective” way for you to categorize people?

NotWhoYouThink
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by NotWhoYouThink » Tue May 21, 2019 7:59 am

I don't want to drag this topic any further. My intention from the beginning was not to compare various education systems around the world - useless and not actionable - but to obtain an understanding why sports and arts are seen as part a good school while academics are of much less concern. Which for me is exactly the opposite of how things should be.
I don't see any conversations here on which academics are of much less concern than sports and arts.

OP, as with most things in life, whatever decision you make many observers will think it is the wrong one made for the wrong reasons. Even if they don't know you, your kids, or your reasons, and you don't know that they are watching and forming opinions. So do what you think is right for you, your kids, and your available schools. Good luck.

Dottie57
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Dottie57 » Tue May 21, 2019 8:32 am

SQRT wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:18 am
Dottie57 wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 1:12 am
SQRT wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 10:37 am

Why is it always a BMW? I drive one. My wife drives one. Bought my daughter one. Heck even my Xwife drives one. All of us are pretty normal(well maybe not the X). Do people here really think that driving a BMW automatically will make the driver an entitled arrogant jerk?
Most f the BMW drivers I knew were jerks who were highly impressed. with themselves for driving BMWs. This was not the total population of BMW drivers - just the load ones.
Really? How big is your sample? There are millions of BMW’s on the road in the US as they sell about 300,000-350,000 per year there. What is your experience with Mercedes owners? Or F150 owners? Or Camry owners? Must be a really simple and “effective” way for you to categorize people?
I misspelled loud and it came out load. Don’t know how. Anyway it was an admission of small self selected group. However, I can say I haven’t heard same from other brands. It is what it is - one person’s perception.

prairieman
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by prairieman » Tue May 21, 2019 8:55 am

My goodness there are a lot of comments. We made a similar decision years back now and ultimately chose public - mostly because that is where their best friends from around the neighborhood were going to go. It was a public school system that was very diverse, ethnically and economically, so we thought that was good, too.
What we did not factor in was that the large size of the school provided both opportunity and competition. Ultimately they ended up in accelerated programs, eventually earning many free college credits, and they experienced many opportunities and have great memories associated with music and sports. They could take classes in anything and participate in any sport. While my wife and I are not musical or athletic, the kids were and the school helped discover and develop those talents. I would not change a thing.

MathIsMyWayr
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by MathIsMyWayr » Tue May 21, 2019 9:57 am

bluebolt wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 3:38 am
MathIsMyWayr wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:11 am
quantAndHold wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 10:57 am
Except for the very worst schools, the education *your* kid gets will be influenced more by what’s happening at home than by the school they go to. I suspect most children of Bogleheads would do just fine at 90% of the schools out there, public or private.
There are no bad schools or bad teachers. There are only bad parents.

15-year-old students’ scholastic performance on mathematics, science and reading.
Average Score of PISA Mathematics, Science and Reading - top 10:
1. Singapore 551.7
2. Hong Kong 532.7
3. Japan 528.7
4. Macau 527.3
5. Estonia 524.3
6. Canada 523.7
7. Taiwan 523.7
8. Finland 522.7
9. South Korea 519.0
10. China 514.3
.
.
.
31. United States 487.7
Scores vary significantly by state. For example, Massachusetts compares favorably with some of the best performing countries.

https://www.oecd.org/pisa/PISA-2015-Uni ... tes-MA.pdf
Public school students often dominate various math contests such as Math League, MathCounts, Mandelbrot Competition, Math Olympiad, etc. Regional contests have the air of family affairs.

RJC
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by RJC » Tue May 21, 2019 11:15 am

Cyanide123 wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 6:49 am
If it were my children, I would pick private school if money was no object whatsoever. A school rated a 6 is probably terrible :P
+1

I don't think I would feel comfortable sending my children to a mediocre public school no matter how confident I was in their abilities.

Krui24
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Re: High net worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Krui24 » Tue May 21, 2019 11:39 am

Tanelorn wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 2:09 am
You may be drawing the wrong conclusion from that correlation. Parental income and education is probably a proxy for various positive genetic factors. I think learning can be most effective in an environment with similarly capable peers, ie tracking among high / average / low performing students in a given field or in general. Too much range in abaility makes it hard for the teacher to address everyone’s needs and will lose the low end kids and bore the high end ones. Some public schools do this well, others do quite badly. Private schools definitely avoid some of the lower end of the student body since they can be selective unlike public schools (avoiding disruptive or particularly unqualified students), which is an advantage for sure. In addition, very selective “prestigious” private schools often have higher standards so this essentially helps enforce a higher, more uniform student group which is easier to teach.
A agree that parental income and education level is a proxy for parental involvement and maybe genetic factors.

If what you say is true about learning being most effective with similarly capable peers, it seems like it would show up in the data but it doesn't (yet).

Here are some other studies that show similar things:
https://www.chalkbeat.org/posts/us/2019 ... ty-boston/
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2005 ... getting-in

Basically if you're smart enough (and have parents who have the means) to get in to the elite schools, your outcome will be the same whether or not you actually go to the elite schools.

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HomerJ
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by HomerJ » Tue May 21, 2019 12:00 pm

investingdad wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 5:58 am
I always look at it this way.

What kind of school did I attend? Rural, public school.
How were the academics? Ok, nothing special.
How was the environment? Fine, what you'd expect for a rural school.
Did it prep me for college? Yes, attended B10 for engineering.
What about my wife? Same story.
How are we doing? Really great, 2 comma club before 40.

So, we are more than ok sending our kids to a very similar public school. And we are.
This makes sense to me too.

My wife and I both went to public schools and state colleges, and we're both successful and in the top 10% of household incomes and wealth.

So, from my personal experience, I don't see this huge need to spend hundreds of thousands on private schools or private colleges in hopes of a "better" outcome.

I always found it interesting that the same people who went to public school and were super successful, making millions, for some reason think it's really important for their kids to go to "better" schools, even though they themselves are living proof that it's not necessary.
The J stands for Jay

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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by GCD » Tue May 21, 2019 12:50 pm

HomerJ wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:00 pm
...My wife and I both went to public schools and state colleges, and we're both successful and in the top 10% of household incomes and wealth.

I always found it interesting that the same people who went to public school and were super successful, making millions, for some reason think it's really important for their kids to go to "better" schools, even though they themselves are living proof that it's not necessary.
How old are you and how old are your kids? Things change a lot over the decades. I know there are things that I thought "good enough for me 40 years ago, good enough for the kid" when upon further reflection I decided that the world had changed and I needed to adjust course.

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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by TomatoTomahto » Tue May 21, 2019 12:56 pm

GCD wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:50 pm
HomerJ wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:00 pm
...My wife and I both went to public schools and state colleges, and we're both successful and in the top 10% of household incomes and wealth.
I always found it interesting that the same people who went to public school and were super successful, making millions, for some reason think it's really important for their kids to go to "better" schools, even though they themselves are living proof that it's not necessary.
How old are you and how old are your kids? Things change a lot over the decades. I know there are things that I thought "good enough for me 40 years ago, good enough for the kid" when upon further reflection I decided that the world had changed and I needed to adjust course.
Additionally, I think that many of us wish for something better for our kids.

When I think back to what it took for me to be admitted to college and get my first few jobs, it was a lark compared to today.
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

Sam1
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Sam1 » Tue May 21, 2019 1:21 pm

As long as you have a good public option, I’d choose public.

Why? You have $10 million. This is a lot, but with college costs, it’s hardly enough to pay for three kids to attend private without considering the money. It’s sad that private school is so expensive now that $10 million isn’t a high enough network, but do the math. Where I live, it’s around $600k per child for K-12 private.

Do you want to pay for college for grandkids? Also what about your own kids? In today’s dollars you’re looking at possibly over $1 million for three kids to attend private college. Let’s assume $2 million for grandkids’ college. Realize that’s a question mark. So you’re up to $3 million without even considering private school. Also what if one of your children wants to attend law or medical school?

I have many friends with parents in a similar network bracket and I find it interesting they are counting on parents to pay for private school AND college for the grandchildren. In our part of the country this is well over a million per child. It doesn’t add up when there are multiple grandkids in the picture. Well it adds up but it doesn’t leave a lot leftover for inheritance. Not to mention end of life care. I will be interested to see how it plays out.

I wouldn’t spend $300-600k on something unnecessary. Per child. Times 3.

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Matahari
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Matahari » Tue May 21, 2019 4:11 pm

OP,

I admit not having read the previous 4 pages of comments, but want to contribute my thoughts as the parent of a new college grad.

I don't wish to disclose too much information about our NW, but it is north of yours and we have one child. By way of background, my spouse and I attended public high schools and graduated from college and professional schools of well-respected public universities; so we are not products of so-called "elite" educations, although we consider our educations to have provided excellent preparation for our chosen careers. It is a truism that schooling is what one makes of it.

We chose to send our child to a good, very competitive, public high school although we could have sent child to the top K-12 private school in our city. We considered that and decided against it although virtually all of our professional colleagues chose the privates school route for their own reasons. Mind you, child's HS serves a very affluent area but, because it's a public HS, there is a ethnic and socioeconomic diversity in the student population lacking in the private school we considered. Our decision was a personal one, based on our child's personality, our beliefs, and our knowledge that we would play a large role in educating and enriching our child outside of school. We had no qualms about spending large sums on travel and summer enrichment programs, which is how we chose to approach it. That's what worked for us. After HS, child attended and just graduated from a USNWR Top 10 college a week ago.

In my opinion, it is folly to "know" what is best for oneself based on what others do, even those who are similarly situated professionally, financially, or socially. There are too many personal factors outside of finances. While my child would have been perfectly fine attending the selective K-12 private school, I did not want to rub elbows with the parents there, TBH. I wanted to be an engaged parent and school volunteer, and the private school just was not my milieu. While it's likely I'd have found a kindred spirit or two there, I preferred to be among students and parents with whom I felt more comfortable and that was in the public school system, where I made many friends among the teachers and other parents during my child's schooling, particularly the early years. I know I would likely not have felt as comfortable within the environment of the private school community and that would have discouraged me from being as engaged. And that had nothing to do with high income or net worth but everything to do with personal values and choices.

Not everything was on auto-pilot for child and us during HS -- it isn't for any child or his/her parents, but our child's college prospects turned out excellent. It was likewise for many of the top graduates from child's HS. When we attended a graduation dinner for kids in child's HS class, we were amazed at the colleges some were headed to: Harvard, Princeton, MIT, Penn, Columbia, Duke, Brown and many other top schools were all represented. And that was just among the kids who attended this particular dinner.

And given that you have 3 young children, there is an additional complication of whether all 3 would be equally at home in the school system you choose. If you are comfortable with the financial commitment of K-12 private school, including fully-funding college educations for all 3, then by all means look at the private school system you find attractive. I just don't think it's strictly a matter of financial considerations.

It also occurs to me that even HNW Bogleheads would not be comfortable with the decidedly non-BH values that are more prevalent among students and parents in "elite privates," but that seems self-evident.

Good luck with your decision!

HEDGEFUNDIE
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by HEDGEFUNDIE » Tue May 21, 2019 4:20 pm

Matahari wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 4:11 pm
It also occurs to me that even HNW Bogleheads would not be comfortable with the decidedly non-BH values that are more prevalent among students and parents in "elite privates," but that seems self-evident.
Not self-evident at all, please enlighten us on what you see these non-BH values to be.

Bacchus01
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Bacchus01 » Tue May 21, 2019 4:27 pm

TomatoTomahto wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:56 pm
GCD wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:50 pm
HomerJ wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 12:00 pm
...My wife and I both went to public schools and state colleges, and we're both successful and in the top 10% of household incomes and wealth.
I always found it interesting that the same people who went to public school and were super successful, making millions, for some reason think it's really important for their kids to go to "better" schools, even though they themselves are living proof that it's not necessary.
How old are you and how old are your kids? Things change a lot over the decades. I know there are things that I thought "good enough for me 40 years ago, good enough for the kid" when upon further reflection I decided that the world had changed and I needed to adjust course.
Additionally, I think that many of us wish for something better for our kids.

When I think back to what it took for me to be admitted to college and get my first few jobs, it was a lark compared to today.
But you are equating private education to being better than public. There are many, many reasons here why they are not. And there are many, many studies that show that there are actually little differences between the two in scholastic successs outside of the extremes. Yes, Choate graduates probably do better than inner city Chicago schools.

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Matahari
Posts: 382
Joined: Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:09 pm

Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by Matahari » Tue May 21, 2019 4:45 pm

HEDGEFUNDIE wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 4:20 pm
Matahari wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 4:11 pm
It also occurs to me that even HNW Bogleheads would not be comfortable with the decidedly non-BH values that are more prevalent among students and parents in "elite privates," but that seems self-evident.
Not self-evident at all, please enlighten us on what you see these non-BH values to be.
Is this a real question? :happy At the risk of over-simplifying, I'll just refer to the "LBYM" vs. "keeping up with the Joneses" divide and leave it at, so as not to derail the discussion here.

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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Very High Net Worth, elite private or “good” public

Post by TomatoTomahto » Tue May 21, 2019 4:58 pm

Matahari wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 4:45 pm
HEDGEFUNDIE wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 4:20 pm
Matahari wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 4:11 pm
It also occurs to me that even HNW Bogleheads would not be comfortable with the decidedly non-BH values that are more prevalent among students and parents in "elite privates," but that seems self-evident.
Not self-evident at all, please enlighten us on what you see these non-BH values to be.
Is this a real question? :happy At the risk of over-simplifying, I'll just refer to the "LBYM" vs. "keeping up with the Joneses" divide and leave it at, so as not to derail the discussion here.
And you think one exists at public and the other at privates? Really?
We lived in an affluent town, and the public school parents were much more status conscious. I’m not saying that’s universal, but it existed in our town. .
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

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