Anxiety about car/house purchase

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Topic Author
Bigblue
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 8:45 am

Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Bigblue » Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:43 pm

Long time follower, but first time poster. Im 30 married for 5 years to my wife of the same specialty and have been working (outside of residency) for about a year and a half. Yearly household income 675K.

About 1.2m invested 80/20 stock/bond in vanguard/fidelity
285K cash in money market
No debt
No mortgage

We purchased a used 2018 car today with about 8k miles after a lot of research and I feel we got a good deal. 6K less than the KBB but I'm not super educated on the car market. I got the Audi care for 1k, but the car is CPO and I'm fine with that expense. My dilemma is I have a difficult time rationalizing spending large quantities of money. This car is for my wife who has to turn in her BMW lease this month and her leases have been funded by her parents since she was old enough to drive. I rationalized the purchase as being a better investment than replacing her current lease with another of similar expense. I drive a 15 year old domestic car with 180k miles on it that I will drive into the ground, probably worth around 1000 dollars, but realistically will need to be replaced in the next few years. If you can't already tell, I'll probably drive that one into the ground as well:)

We currently live in my parent's second home in the city where we both took jobs and my parent's use this house 3 months out of the year so it has worked out well. Waiting for the right house in the right market currently. We do not have a lot of expenses right now, and I would like to save enough to supplement some of our income if my wife decides to work part time after having a child or our work income drastically changes because of healthcare reform. Goal birth of child would be 5 years from now, but who knows.

If the anxiety over even this well researched purchase caused me to loss sleep last night, how am I ever going to part with the money I have set aside for a house down payment? Other than this purchase, my largest expense has been my wife's wedding ring. Does spending money get easier after you've spent a lot or own a home?

Thank you in advance for your advice.

abonder
Posts: 259
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:52 am

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by abonder » Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:52 pm

I think it’s normal for large purchases to engender apprehension, even when the decision is sound and well researched. Part of getting more comfortable with this process is just doing it. You probably won’t be losing sleep over a used Audi in a few weeks.

You’re in an incredibly good position for newer physicians in terms of savings and lack of debt. I think it’s unlikely that you’ll make any reckless financial moves given the apparently wise decisions you have made en route to this point.

The other thing to remember is the money is a tool not an end in its own right. I sometimes think that gets lost on this forum where hyper savers feature prominently. It’s never wrong to save aggressively, but if you don’t desire extreme early retirement, then extreme saving probably isn’t necessary at your income level. And you’re starting on second base with your lack of debt and savings - I don’t mean that in a facetious way, but rather just to identify that you’re sitting pretty and you can be a little less disciplined and still find success. Hope that helps.

bloom2708
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by bloom2708 » Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:54 pm

Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.

You make $675k. Focus on having fun when you are not saving people.

Your future home purchase is where you can really do some long term sting to your finances.

Reasonable cars under warranty. Nah. One or two month take home will cover a car. Enjoy.
"People want confirmation, not advice" Unknown | "We are here to provoke thoughtfulness, not agree with you" Unknown | Four words. Whole food, plant based. Bing it.

mortfree
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by mortfree » Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:58 pm

Gosh. When I was 22 I bought a $24k new car and my salary was 30k (I even bought the car a month before I graduated college and started working).

Don’t sweat the small stuff. You’ll live a short life if this bothers you.

Golfview
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Location: South Jersey

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Golfview » Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:03 pm

You and your wife have had others paying for your things now it's time to learn to pay your own way so getting use to spending your own money may take some getting use to,consider yourselves very fortunate to have come this far with all the help you've had!

robphoto
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by robphoto » Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:06 pm

The previous posters have noted that you're making plenty of money, but I can relate to that idea of zero-based budgeting where any spending seems painful.

I recommend you make a budget-- not to constrain your spending, but to help yourself allow yourself to spend appropriately.

Clearly, a car one way or the other isn't going to break you-- I really think you should make a rough budget with the level of spending, saving, and giving that seems appropriate in the various categories, and then let yourself follow it without guilt.

For us, we're later in life, but recently I got a credit card bill with the charges for various vacation plane flights on it, and felt some discomfort with the totals. When I remembered that we had a certain allotment for travel, and that what we were doing was well within that, I felt better about it.

stoptothink
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by stoptothink » Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:45 pm

Golfview wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:03 pm
You and your wife have had others paying for your things now it's time to learn to pay your own way so getting use to spending your own money may take some getting use to,consider yourselves very fortunate to have come this far with all the help you've had!
+1. You've been incredibly fortunate (and worked incredibly hard). Being an adult costs money, you have lots of it.

Colorado13
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Location: Colorado

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Colorado13 » Wed Apr 03, 2019 8:54 pm

My post about anxiety related to spending money was locked, so you may want to rephrase your concerns to something like "adjusting to spending for car/house purchase."

123
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by 123 » Wed Apr 03, 2019 8:59 pm

Anxiety about purchasing a home can be related to whether it's the "right" home which can depend on how confident you are that you will continue to reside where you presently work/live. The cost of real estate transactions is high so that it may not make sense to buy unless you, even though you can financially afford it, unless you expect to stay in the property at least 5 to 7 years.

You've only been out of residency a comparatively short time. I think your anxiety about "big" purchases is normal.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

helloeveryone
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by helloeveryone » Wed Apr 03, 2019 9:04 pm

Bigblue wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:43 pm
Long time follower, but first time poster. Im 30 married for 5 years to my wife of the same specialty and have been working (outside of residency) for about a year and a half. Yearly household income 675K.

About 1.2m invested 80/20 stock/bond in vanguard/fidelity
285K cash in money market
No debt
No mortgage

We purchased a used 2018 car today with about 8k miles after a lot of research and I feel we got a good deal. 6K less than the KBB but I'm not super educated on the car market. I got the Audi care for 1k, but the car is CPO and I'm fine with that expense. My dilemma is I have a difficult time rationalizing spending large quantities of money. This car is for my wife who has to turn in her BMW lease this month and her leases have been funded by her parents since she was old enough to drive. I rationalized the purchase as being a better investment than replacing her current lease with another of similar expense. I drive a 15 year old domestic car with 180k miles on it that I will drive into the ground, probably worth around 1000 dollars, but realistically will need to be replaced in the next few years. If you can't already tell, I'll probably drive that one into the ground as well:)

We currently live in my parent's second home in the city where we both took jobs and my parent's use this house 3 months out of the year so it has worked out well. Waiting for the right house in the right market currently. We do not have a lot of expenses right now, and I would like to save enough to supplement some of our income if my wife decides to work part time after having a child or our work income drastically changes because of healthcare reform. Goal birth of child would be 5 years from now, but who knows.

If the anxiety over even this well researched purchase caused me to loss sleep last night, how am I ever going to part with the money I have set aside for a house down payment? Other than this purchase, my largest expense has been my wife's wedding ring. Does spending money get easier after you've spent a lot or own a home?

Thank you in advance for your advice.
Spending never gets easier (not yet for me at least) but if you budget and buy within your means and maximize retirement savings spending is more tolerable.

For example- you’ve been married 5 years and this is the first time you are needing to buy a car - it probably hurts because your wife has never had to buy a car.

Or in the future you will need to buy a home - that’s going to “hurt” because you’ve never had to pay a mortgage and now you’ll need to pay a down payment and monthly housing payments.

If you keep up your current saving and spending habits you’ll be fine. The only mistake you can make in the future that will continuously hurt is buying too expensive a home. Homes and cars is what messes up budgets.

fasteddie911
Posts: 286
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 3:13 pm

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by fasteddie911 » Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:10 am

I think maybe part of it is the spending on a "luxury" purchase when something cheaper would've done the same job, and overall finding value in dollars spent. Having said that, it's hard to say because I think we come from very different places. You have $1.5M at age 30, which is out of the ordinary, especially for a doctor. It seems like you've gotten many privileges along the way, free housing, tuition, maybe an inheritance, etc., which isn't a bad thing and good on you for making great lemonade with the lemons you've been given. Angst over a luxury car though seems misplaced.
Last edited by fasteddie911 on Thu Apr 04, 2019 11:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jack FFR1846
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:18 am

You bought a car about double what the average family in the US would pay. You make 10 times what the average family in the US makes. If we went by being just average, you should be looking at a fully decked out Maserati Quattroporte......not a German Subaru.
Bogle: Smart Beta is stupid

Topic Author
Bigblue
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 8:45 am

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Bigblue » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:14 pm

Jack FFR1846 wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:18 am
You bought a car about double what the average family in the US would pay. You make 10 times what the average family in the US makes. If we went by being just average, you should be looking at a fully decked out Maserati Quattroporte......not a German Subaru.
The car was 33.5k. I'm not sure if that is double what the average family in the US would pay especially given the number of individuals that spend an exorbitant amount on leasing vehicles.

Topic Author
Bigblue
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 8:45 am

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Bigblue » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:15 pm

Thank you all for your responses/feedback. Greatly appreciated incite.

Thegame14
Posts: 1287
Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 11:53 am

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Thegame14 » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:30 pm

dude you make $675K a year, you can buy a new car every month and still be better off than 99% of the world

Nowizard
Posts: 2341
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:33 pm

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Nowizard » Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:49 pm

If you are like many who went the medical route, you may now have a combination of much higher income combined with less financial experience than most of your age due to the grind of medical school/residency, etc. and its requirement of limited exposure outside your education and training. People assume smart people have knowledge in all areas, but that is not necessarily the case at a given point in time. Look at this like a new, learning task. If you have a positive living arrangement and no pressure to move, keep saving, keep looking and keep planning. If you find that interfering with other things to a substantial degree, then do whatever is necessary to "adjust to your first world problems." Best of luck.

Tim

Shallowpockets
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Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Shallowpockets » Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:03 pm

First world .1% problem.
Sounds rough.

Golfview
Posts: 84
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:28 pm
Location: South Jersey

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Golfview » Thu Apr 04, 2019 5:39 pm

fasteddie911 wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:10 am
I think maybe part of it is the spending on a "luxury" purchase when something cheaper would've done the same job, and overall finding value in dollars spent. Having said that, it's hard to say because I think we come from very different places. You have $1.5M at age 30, which is out of the ordinary, especially for a doctor. It seems like you've gotten many privileges along the way, free housing, tuition, maybe an inheritance, etc., which isn't a bad thing and good on you for making great lemonade with the lemons you've been given. Angst over a luxury car though seems misplaced.
+1

Ybsybs
Posts: 533
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:28 pm

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Ybsybs » Fri Apr 05, 2019 8:53 am

It is normal to be stressed about these things.

The good news is that your combined financial situation is fantastic. This means you have options others do not.

There exist financial therapists if you wish to go the formal route of sitting down and chatting with a professional for a few sessions to help you develop emotional strategies to smooth your way during this in-progress transition from being financial dependents to being independent adults controlling your own finances.

If your concerns seem about making the wrong choices, you may wish instead or in addition to sit down with a fee-only financial planner.

Those with fewer options would have only the choices of posts on places like this board and reading books to put together a DIY approach. You could also stick with the DIY route. If you want that, I advise finding a few good general finance books or audiobooks (if listening during a commute fits best in your life). If I were in your shoes, I'd want a budget for joint expenses with a plan in place to save specifically for his/hers retirement, home down payment, the next car(s), and vacations.

If you are interested in budget suggestions, I recommend you consider these as starting numbers:
$101,250 to savings intended for retirement (15% of $675k)
12 x typical rent in your area to savings for a downpayment

Good luck!

riles46
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Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:02 pm

Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by riles46 » Fri Apr 05, 2019 9:15 am

I'm a little confused what you're going for with this post? Are you looking for positive reassurance that you're making the "correct" decisions? Because the "correct" decisions are different for everyone. It sounds like you're struggling with the anxiety/scarcity (an issue that goes beyond finance/money), to which I would recommend sitting down and talking with someone about. You clearly do your research when it comes to making large purchase, but you'll need to learn how to become comfortable with your decisions if you want to sleep at night.

cdu7
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by cdu7 » Fri Apr 05, 2019 9:26 am

Ordinarily I’d recommend being frugal in auto purchases, but in your case not buying new luxury cars seems like the crazy choice. You clearly have had tremendous family support putting you on third base from the start. You have tons of savings at the very beginning of a medical career (most are in multiple six figures of debt). You have nearly won the game before you even started to play. 600k + income, dude why are you buying your wife a used Audi?! Your savings won’t be a concern.

Cycle
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Cycle » Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:24 am

Your Audi Care cost as much as my most expensive vehicle (a bike), I couldn't sleep at night if I were in your spendthrift shoes.
Never look back unless you are planning to go that way

deltaneutral83
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by deltaneutral83 » Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:41 am

$1.2 in a MM/no debt/$675k income really mitigates any normal automobile you could possibly purchase as far as buyer's remorse. If in fact you ever did have buyer's remorse, the realistic response you would internalize is "so what." Housing is a separate issue where just about any one can get in too deep and it does matter what decision you make, cars not so much with your situation.

researcher
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by researcher » Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:47 am

cdu7 wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2019 9:26 am
You clearly have had tremendous family support putting you on third base from the start.
You have tons of savings at the very beginning of a medical career.
You have nearly won the game before you even started to play.
This

Hug401k
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Hug401k » Fri Apr 05, 2019 12:51 pm

You probably have angst about it because you don't care about cars. Spending 30k on something you don't care that much about can cause some anxiety. I feel the same way. I tend to view cars as most view boats..a big hole you throw money in that have zero value at the end of the day. I"m guessing if you buy something you want or like, you'll find it easier.

knowledge
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by knowledge » Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:18 pm

Think about it this way. There's value in having the latest safety tech, especially as it protects your largest assets - your livelihoods. Now this doesn't seem to apply so much for the wife, as it seems she's in later model cars. But specifically for you, you may want to think of the car expenditure as transportation insurance, and perhaps upgrade to a volvo.

Olemiss540
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Olemiss540 » Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:15 am

deltaneutral83 wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:41 am
$1.2 in a MM/no debt/$675k income really mitigates any normal automobile you could possibly purchase as far as buyer's remorse. If in fact you ever did have buyer's remorse, the realistic response you would internalize is "so what." Housing is a separate issue where just about any one can get in too deep and it does matter what decision you make, cars not so much with your situation.
This for sure.

Consider finding ways to start giving some cash to the less fortunate. Prove to your brain that cash is a tool, not a gemstone to hoard..... You could die today a millionaire, not sure what your life's goal is if you are losing sleep over a car purchase.

Oh, and stop reading/researching/spreadsheeting personal finance issues. Set your investments on autopilot and then spend as much as you need to or want to day to day. Focus on the moment as the future is well taken care of regardless. In 5 years you will have multiple millions and your wife could do whatever you both agreed to do!
I hold index funds because I do not overestimate my ability to pick stocks OR stock pickers.

majiaknight
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by majiaknight » Mon Apr 08, 2019 3:06 pm

Bigblue wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:43 pm
If the anxiety over even this well researched purchase caused me to loss sleep last night, how am I ever going to part with the money I have set aside for a house down payment? Other than this purchase, my largest expense has been my wife's wedding ring. Does spending money get easier after you've spent a lot or own a home?
Short answer is No in my case. After a purchased house, >$1M saved investment and almost doubled income for both my wife and myself after graduate school, I still get anxiety over spending. The simple reason is I find I gradually adjust my expectation higher and budget for the future needs for kids and other family members. One example is when we could easily afford to send the kid to a typical private school, then we'd think maybe we could afford to send him to a better but also more expensive one in a few years and later found out the tuition for the target elementary school reached $39,000/y before donation and the upper school tuition is >$51,000/y. Or, we may consider to upgrade current house to a decent 3B SFH in a good school district which currently costs ~$2M in my area. I'm worried about not saving enough even after careful budgeting for both near/long-term and keep thinking how to achieve the best ROI for those big spending (like kid edu, housing upgrade, family (intl) travels, etc).
Last edited by majiaknight on Mon Apr 08, 2019 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Grt2bOutdoors
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Re: Anxiety about car/house purchase

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Mon Apr 08, 2019 3:13 pm

stoptothink wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:45 pm
Golfview wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:03 pm
You and your wife have had others paying for your things now it's time to learn to pay your own way so getting use to spending your own money may take some getting use to,consider yourselves very fortunate to have come this far with all the help you've had!
+1. You've been incredibly fortunate (and worked incredibly hard). Being an adult costs money, you have lots of it.
+2. The OP has been receiving "economic outpatient care" courtesy of Mom and Dad. Read The Millionaire Next Door by Stanley & Danko, you'll soon understand that you have been the beneficiary of having others pay for your expenses, others call it "entitlement". Tell your folks how you feel about spending money, you might find yourself looking for a place to buy or rent quicker than you thought! Your income is in the top 1% of the entire country, you have a secure job, why are you anxious about owning your own place? Use some of that big shovel of yours and buy it! You should be able to pay off the entire mortgage in less than 5 years, exactly the time when the stork will make a visit to your new "nest". How does your wife feel about buying a place of your own?
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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