Buying house with son [and his girlfriend]

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Buying house with son [and his girlfriend]

Post by reggiesimpson »

My wife and i plan on buying a home with our son and his girlfriend in the near future. We will contribute 50% of the sale price to the purchase and my son and GF will come up with the other half via their assets and mortgage combo. We plan on contributing the 50% and not making it a gift or a loan. The stipulation is that our name goes on the title as 50% owner and there be an in law apartment so when we visit ( he is out of state) we have a place to stay instead of airbnb and hotels. I would appreciate BH learned comments on the matter. Thank you.
reggie
Saving$
Posts: 2028
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2011 8:33 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Saving$ »

Will the mortgage company allow your son and his gf to get a mortgage only them responsible for paying back, but you and your wife's name on the title?

Half ownership can work, as long as you know ahead of time who is responsible for what.
Do you pay half the property taxes and insurance?
Do you pay half the repairs (new roof, new furnace, etc.)?
- If you split these 50/50, how do you decide which options to select? You want the $4k basic furnace, he wants the $8k upgraded model
Who pays for one-off maintenance? ie tree trimming every few years or painting?
Who pays for regular maintenance? Mowing, shrub trimming, etc.
Who pays utilities? (see furnace issue above)
If son and gf do sweat equity work, how is that accounted for?
How do you split proceeds if/when house is sold?

The fact of "son and his girlfriend" makes it a bit more complicated. What happens if they break up? Will she need to be paid out 25%? Do you owe her 66% of her 25 and your son owes her 33%?
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Saving$ wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 8:28 pm Will the mortgage company allow your son and his gf to get a mortgage only them responsible for paying back, but you and your wife's name on the title?

Half ownership can work, as long as you know ahead of time who is responsible for what.
Do you pay half the property taxes and insurance?
Do you pay half the repairs (new roof, new furnace, etc.)?
- If you split these 50/50, how do you decide which options to select? You want the $4k basic furnace, he wants the $8k upgraded model
Who pays for one-off maintenance? ie tree trimming every few years or painting?
Who pays for regular maintenance? Mowing, shrub trimming, etc.
Who pays utilities? (see furnace issue above)
If son and gf do sweat equity work, how is that accounted for?
How do you split proceeds if/when house is sold?

The fact of "son and his girlfriend" makes it a bit more complicated. What happens if they break up? Will she need to be paid out 25%? Do you owe her 66% of her 25 and your son owes her 33%?
There are banks that allow us to be on the title and not on the mortgage. Which is the only way we would do it.
As we are only visiting i would rather pay a monthly rent year round. If we moved in for much longer stretches we would pay more to suit the circumstances.
As they are not married yet i believe she would have to sign an agreement (with her atty consult) that if they broke up prior to buying then the house would be sold immediately. She and my son get 25% each and we 50%. They would get any profit while we get our original investment back. My son is also getting a pre nup to handle his financial issues with her prior to marriage.
Thank you for reminding me about the maintenance issue. I have to discuss that further with my son.
sd323232
Posts: 722
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:45 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by sd323232 »

Does your son and his gf live together? If they do, check if the state they live in has common law. Even if they are not married, in the event they separate, judge has power to throw out prenup. You are heading into a potential legal nightmare if your son and his gf separate.
Darwin
Posts: 115
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:44 am
Location: New Hampshire

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Darwin »

I had a surprisingly bad experience sharing 33acres with my father, and I wouldn't do it again. He liked to control all decisions, even though we were 50/50 partners. General land-use decisions were hard (for instance, he wanted to build a dam and flood half the valley without permission from Fish and Game). My wife and I had to give up our claim after eight years, walking away from a 75k investment. I won't make the mistake of mixing family/friends again, it's not worth it.
I have a good relationship with him in spite of this, but only by repeatedly reminding myself repeatedly that relationships are more important than money.
No planet, no business. Earth bats last.
User avatar
Nate79
Posts: 6519
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: Delaware

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Nate79 »

Family experience here. This is a horrible idea. You are inviting trouble in. That there is a GF involved makes it so much worse it's not even funny.
User avatar
David Jay
Posts: 9592
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:54 am
Location: Michigan

Re: Buying house with son

Post by David Jay »

No. Just no. There are so many ways this can go south, and mess up the very relationship with your son you are trying to enhance.

Invest the money and stay in a hotel with the returns.
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future - Niels Bohr | To get the "risk premium", you really do have to take the risk - nisiprius
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Darwin wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:03 pm I had a surprisingly bad experience sharing 33acres with my father, and I wouldn't do it again. He liked to control all decisions, even though we were 50/50 partners. General land-use decisions were hard (for instance, he wanted to build a dam and flood half the valley without permission from Fish and Game). My wife and I had to give up our claim after eight years, walking away from a 75k investment. I won't make the mistake of mixing family/friends again, it's not worth it.
I have a good relationship with him in spite of this, but only by repeatedly reminding myself repeatedly that relationships are more important than money.
[/quo
As i told my son. We would rather see him use his inheritance before we die. We are seeking all advice to protect our "investment". Thank you.
reggie.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

sd323232 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 8:57 pm Does your son and his gf live together? If they do, check if the state they live in has common law. Even if they are not married, in the event they separate, judge has power to throw out prenup. You are heading into a potential legal nightmare if your son and his gf separate.
Yes they live together but its not a common law state. The pre nup comes upon marriage and it only involves them not us.The legal agreement she signs stipulates that the house is sold immediately if they break up in advance. So early separation is resolved. Thank you.
reggie
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Nate79 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:23 pm Family experience here. This is a horrible idea. You are inviting trouble in. That there is a GF involved makes it so much worse it's not even funny.
I agree its fraught with pitfalls but as we want to help him with his inheritance while we are alive we are looking for the safest way to do it.
Thank you.
reggie
Regattamom
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 3:40 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Regattamom »

reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:42 pm
Nate79 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:23 pm Family experience here. This is a horrible idea. You are inviting trouble in. That there is a GF involved makes it so much worse it's not even funny.
I agree its fraught with pitfalls but as we want to help him with his inheritance while we are alive we are looking for the safest way to do it.
Thank you.
reggie
If you consider this his inheritance, why not just gift him the money and keep your finances separate from his?
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

David Jay wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:31 pm No. Just no. There are so many ways this can go south, and mess up the very relationship with your son you are trying to enhance.

Invest the money and stay in a hotel with the returns.
Agreed. The old saying "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished" comes to mind. We have been staying hotels for the past 2 years and its wearing on us. When grandchildren arrive that wont fly anymore. Thus this proposal. I understand a contract with our son called Tenants in Common handles this ownership relationship in a more business like manner. And keeps us at arms length from them in case of dissolution or they divorce?
colemanst13
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2014 6:12 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by colemanst13 »

I recommend not doing that. There are too many variables here that can and will go wrong. Years from now, you will be stuck and will regret the move.

If you want to help your son buy a home, give him gift funds. I would also encourage him not to purchase a home with a partner unless he’s married . . . much for the same reasons.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Regattamom wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:46 pm
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:42 pm
Nate79 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:23 pm Family experience here. This is a horrible idea. You are inviting trouble in. That there is a GF involved makes it so much worse it's not even funny.
I agree its fraught with pitfalls but as we want to help him with his inheritance while we are alive we are looking for the safest way to do it.
Thank you.
reggie
If you consider this his inheritance, why not just gift him the money and keep your finances separate from his?
Yes i agree thats a distinct possibility. But the goal is to protect the inheritance. My underlying fear is that i wanted this asset to be protected in the case of his potential future divorce as he has avoided any discussion of pre nup in the past. Interestingly he only brought up any prenup discussion a week ago. Unfortunately many prenups are thrown out and that would destroy the gifted inheritance component included in a pre nup or not. He lives in an equitable distribution state and the potential for a judge to consider disposition of the house to be part of the divorce looms to great. With the divorce rate around 40 to 50 percent keeping 50% in our name protects that inheritance. Interesting dilemma yes? The devil is in the details and thats why i am calling on BH advice. Thank you.
reggie
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

colemanst13 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:59 pm I recommend not doing that. There are too many variables here that can and will go wrong. Years from now, you will be stuck and will regret the move.

If you want to help your son buy a home, give him gift funds. I would also encourage him not to purchase a home with a partner unless he’s married . . . much for the same reasons.
I may have just answered your question with the above response. thank you.
reggie
delamer
Posts: 10590
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:13 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by delamer »

Your subject line is inaccurate. It should be “buying house with son and his girlfriend.”

Don’t do it.

Have you thought about what happens if one (or both) of them loses their job(s) and they can’t pay the mortgage or your son dies prematurely?

The “what if they split up” scenario is only one thing that can go wrong.
User avatar
RickBoglehead
Posts: 5608
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:10 am
Location: In a house

Re: Buying house with son

Post by RickBoglehead »

Absolutely not.
Avid user of forums on variety of interests-financial, home brewing, F-150, PHEV, home repair, etc. Enjoy learning & passing on knowledge. It's PRINCIPAL, not PRINCIPLE. I ADVISE you to seek ADVICE.
Rus In Urbe
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Rus In Urbe »

Yes i agree thats a distinct possibility. But the goal is to protect the inheritance. My underlying fear is that i wanted this asset to be protected in the case of his potential future divorce as he has avoided any discussion of pre nup in the past. Interestingly he only brought up any prenup discussion a week ago. Unfortunately many prenups are thrown out and that would destroy the gifted inheritance component included in a pre nup or not. He lives in an equitable distribution state and the potential for a judge to consider disposition of the house to be part of the divorce looms to great. With the divorce rate around 40 to 50 percent keeping 50% in our name protects that inheritance. Interesting dilemma yes? The devil is in the details and thats why i am calling on BH advice. Thank you.
Eeeewwwww. There is so much going on here! Everyone is already anticipating divorce and pre-nups and problems with inheritance!

I was lucky in that my parents, when they gave any of us three kids anything, they attached no strings. None whatsoever. You seem to have ropes wrapped around this one. And really, do they BOTH want you bopping into their lives any old time you want? Or are they grinning and bearing it only because they need that money?

No, a thousand times, no! If you want to contribute to your son's purchase of a house, give him the money outright. No strings. If there are other children in your family, gift them an equal amount. Let your son be the grownup who figures out how to make a divorce work---if it comes to that. Let him stand on his own feet. Stop having "underlying fear" on his behalf. BTW, that divorce sounds inevitable and they are not even engaged!

I'm a grandmother of four, so let me not mince words: Stay OUT of their home, except for visits WHEN/IF they invite you at THEIR convenience. I can't believe you can't find a hotel to stay in that will make you comfortable. Sorry, but that is ridiculous, and you are using this as an excuse to meddle in their lives.

Really, this is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard of on this forum. As others have said, it can go wrong in a million ways.
You asked for input---there it is. Please do right by your son. And good luck to you and your family!
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~Pablo Picasso
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

delamer wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:20 pm Your subject line is inaccurate. It should be “buying house with son and his girlfriend.”

Don’t do it.

Have you thought about what happens if one (or both) of them loses their job(s) and they can’t pay the mortgage or your son dies prematurely?

The “what if they split up” scenario is only one thing that can go wrong.
Yes his GF is involved but must sign an agreement that stipulates the house must be sold immediately if they split up before marriage. Mortgage insurance will handle death. If they lose their jobs the house will be sold and they would rent. Thank you.
reggie
User avatar
Sandtrap
Posts: 11852
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:32 pm
Location: Hawaii No Ka Oi , N. Arizona

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Sandtrap »

delamer wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:20 pm Your subject line is inaccurate. It should be “buying house with son and his girlfriend.”

Don’t do it.

Have you thought about what happens if one (or both) of them loses their job(s) and they can’t pay the mortgage or your son dies prematurely?

The “what if they split up” scenario is only one thing that can go wrong.
+++1
Completely agree. Waited until son got married and showed stability. Then helped with mortgage with no strings. The result is up to him and spouse.
. . .
OTOH OP/you seem to have things well thought out and already committed and here to iron out details you may have overlooked.
That said.
1. Have an exit plan. If not financially, at least release of all obligations and all that.
2. Seek legal counsel, for yourself. Someone who is your advocate alone.
3. Commit with the idea that if things go south, you may not get your funds back . . . . and that is fine.
4. If possible. Wait until marriage is final.
5. Etc.

Congratulations on your son getting married and starting a family.
:sharebeer
Wiki Bogleheads Wiki: Everything You Need to Know
pdavi21
Posts: 1296
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2016 4:04 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by pdavi21 »

You should cut the umbilical cord. Let him buy the house and take out the mortgage. Encourage him to leave his girlfriend off the title (unless she is putting up equal capital/payments). You can loan him money if you trust him to pay you back (with interest). He should let you stay when you are in town.

If he won't let you stay in his house unless you pay, that's not the type of guy you want to loan money to.
"We spend a great deal of time studying history, which, let's face it, is mostly the history of stupidity." -Stephen Hawking
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Rus In Urbe wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:27 pm
Yes i agree thats a distinct possibility. But the goal is to protect the inheritance. My underlying fear is that i wanted this asset to be protected in the case of his potential future divorce as he has avoided any discussion of pre nup in the past. Interestingly he only brought up any prenup discussion a week ago. Unfortunately many prenups are thrown out and that would destroy the gifted inheritance component included in a pre nup or not. He lives in an equitable distribution state and the potential for a judge to consider disposition of the house to be part of the divorce looms to great. With the divorce rate around 40 to 50 percent keeping 50% in our name protects that inheritance. Interesting dilemma yes? The devil is in the details and thats why i am calling on BH advice. Thank you.
Eeeewwwww. There is so much going on here! Everyone is already anticipating divorce and pre-nups and problems with inheritance!

I was lucky in that my parents, when they gave any of us three kids anything, they attached no strings. None whatsoever. You seem to have ropes wrapped around this one. And really, do they BOTH want you bopping into their lives any old time you want? Or are they grinning and bearing it only because they need that money?

No, a thousand times, no! If you want to contribute to your son's purchase of a house, give him the money outright. No strings. If there are other children in your family, gift them an equal amount. Let your son be the grownup who figures out how to make a divorce work---if it comes to that. Let him stand on his own feet. Stop having "underlying fear" on his behalf. BTW, that divorce sounds inevitable and they are not even engaged!

I'm a grandmother of four, so let me not mince words: Stay OUT of their home, except for visits WHEN/IF they invite you at THEIR convenience. I can't believe you can't find a hotel to stay in that will make you comfortable. Sorry, but that is ridiculous, and you are using this as an excuse to meddle in their lives.

Really, this is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard of on this forum. As others have said, it can go wrong in a million ways.
You asked for input---there it is. Please do right by your son. And good luck to you and your family!
Unfortunately way too many do not anticipate divorce when they marry. Ask a BH? Who in their right mind would invest in anything that has the very high probability of failing like the rate of todays marriage ( 40 to 50%). Ask the divorced.
The only rope we have is that we own half of this property thus protecting the investment (inheritance). And we would never just bop in. We dont now. And that "underlying fear" is all to real. I am quite sure if the shoe were on the other foot her parents would want the same protection and we would certainly understand it. Further we are helping them because they live in a very expensive metropolitan area and home buying in the better school districts ( for our future grandchildren) at present is prohibitive. Maybe forever prohibitive even though they have solid careers. Thus the motivation to be helpful and not "meddling". We live 5 hrs away and have no intention of moving in but we are simply tired of staying in hotels. Thank you.
reggie
Last edited by reggiesimpson on Sat Feb 09, 2019 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
HomeStretch
Posts: 5129
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2018 3:06 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by HomeStretch »

Good luck with this joint venture! Have you considered/discussed the following:

- “what if’s” such as death, financial setbacks, bankruptcy or lawsuits?

- house rules/boundaries when you are “in residence”?

- are you able to treat your son/girlfriend as equals with respect to home decisions?

- is your son mature enough to handle home ownership trials and tribulations without turning to you to “fix” problems?
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Sandtrap wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:35 pm
delamer wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:20 pm Your subject line is inaccurate. It should be “buying house with son and his girlfriend.”

Don’t do it.

Have you thought about what happens if one (or both) of them loses their job(s) and they can’t pay the mortgage or your son dies prematurely?

The “what if they split up” scenario is only one thing that can go wrong.
+++1
Completely agree. Waited until son got married and showed stability. Then helped with mortgage with no strings. The result is up to him and spouse.
. . .
OTOH OP/you seem to have things well thought out and already committed and here to iron out details you may have overlooked.
That said.
1. Have an exit plan. If not financially, at least release of all obligations and all that.
2. Seek legal counsel, for yourself. Someone who is your advocate alone.
3. Commit with the idea that if things go south, you may not get your funds back . . . . and that is fine.
4. If possible. Wait until marriage is final.
5. Etc.

Congratulations on your son getting married and starting a family.
:sharebeer
I may have answered your first two comments with the above post. Mortgage insurance and the house would be sold if they lose their jobs. Unlikely as they are quite solid (RN and software engineer with one of the big 3). And yes i am here after researching quite a bit myself.
1The Joint Tenants In Common resolves a lot of the separation in property ownership
2 Yes my atty suggested that Jt Tenants in Common and i am asking for other opinions here on BH to get feedback on it.
3 If things go south (divorce, dissolution, job loss,death etc) its pretty much covered to satisfaction.
4 The separation agreement covers eventualities prior to marriage so im not sure if that makes a big difference. Interestingly its my son that brought up getting a prenup only since this entire subject came up. So i consider that mature planing on his part.....not a sign of impending future divorce....lol. Thank you.
reggie
Jags4186
Posts: 5203
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2014 7:12 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Jags4186 »

Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

HomeStretch wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:52 pm Good luck with this joint venture! Have you considered/discussed the following:

- “what if’s” such as death, financial setbacks, bankruptcy or lawsuits?

- house rules/boundaries when you are “in residence”?

- are you able to treat your son/girlfriend as equals with respect to home decisions?

- is your son mature enough to handle home ownership trials and tribulations without turning to you to “fix” problems?
1 Not to the degree that has been recommended here on BH. Thank you all for the reminder. We have been buried trying to find a house but those discussions will start tomorrow.
2 Our only request apart from being on the title at 50% ( because thats how much we are contributing) is that our area is spacious, private and has its own entrance. We want to make sure we are not in their space at all.
3 My wife and i have made it very clear that it is their home not ours. Its their "time" now. We are on the "way out". We are visiting. Yes the time may extend as we get much older but as we pointed out to my son, and as his gf already knows, you two are fortunate to have 4 intact grandparents ( hers live very close) who are not dead, divorced or disabled and thus are a wonderful resource for you when the children come along.
4 As far as home ownership trials and tribulations i could only warn them that they are going from a 2 bed condo HOA to a 4/5 bed 3200+ sqr ft home on an acre + with all the costs that entails. We shall see on that one but i wont be pruning and cutting the lawn.....maybe fix the toilet? Thank you.
reggie
staythecourse
Posts: 6993
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Buying house with son

Post by staythecourse »

Honestly, terrible idea. Obviously, paying for a place when you visit will be cheaper so you are not doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make you feel better help buying a place for your kid that he, of course, can not afford himself then not a good idea. Just give him the amount you want as a down payment. The mortgage should be your son's alone. Why the HECK would he be wanting to own a property with a GF that he may just break up with next week?

Also, being on the title is much messier. How is it going to be structured? Are you going to be JT with rights to survivorship or when one dies first the others can just sell?

This easily fits in the bad idea box with no redeeming good qualities.

Good luck.

p.s. Again if you want to help just tell you kid that you will give x amount in down payment.

p.s.s. What son or girlfriend of son wants to have their house owned partly by mommy and daddy?
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Jags4186 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:12 pm Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Agreed but we are not looking for a cheap way out. There are those who dont want to be near their children in retirement and those that do. We are in the latter camp. We look at it as the most fulfilling thing we can do for the remainder of our lives and we are looking forward to it very much. It wont be easy and its not easy now but that doesnt mean its not worthwhile. I came on to BH to hear what my fellow BH have always provided. Stimulating thoughts, information and ideas that will make our path smoother. Thank you
reggie
JustinR
Posts: 1382
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:43 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by JustinR »

Don't mix family with money.

This is a horrible idea, especially with the son/gf not being married.

Having four people financially bound to this one piece of property is just asking for drama.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

staythecourse wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:17 pm Honestly, terrible idea. Obviously, paying for a place when you visit will be cheaper so you are not doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make you feel better help buying a place for your kid that he, of course, can not afford himself then not a good idea. Just give him the amount you want as a down payment. The mortgage should be your son's alone. Why the HECK would he be wanting to own a property with a GF that he may just break up with next week?

Also, being on the title is much messier. How is it going to be structured? Are you going to be JT with rights to survivorship or when one dies first the others can just sell?

This easily fits in the bad idea box with no redeeming good qualities.

Good luck.

p.s. Again if you want to help just tell you kid that you will give x amount in down payment.

p.s.s. What son or girlfriend of son wants to have their house owned partly by mommy and daddy?
I may have explained much of what you commented on in recent posts. Interestingly from my readings and from calling various town clerks offices and real estate agencies more and more couples and parents are looking for in law apts with their home purchases. Towns are amending their zoning bylaws to accommodate this demand. The reason is simple. The parents have the money and the children dont and the need to take care of grandchildren and eventually grandparents is a pressing issue that is being resolved with multigenerational living. While its been popular with Hispanic, Black and Asian communities for years it has been catching on with Whites over the past 20 years. So what i am bringing up is the wave of the present, past and future living in America. Thank you.
reggie
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

JustinR wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:22 pm Don't mix family with money.

This is a horrible idea, especially with the son/gf not being married.

Having four people financially bound to this one piece of property is just asking for drama.
I may have answered your concerns with my last post. Thank you.
reggie
Regattamom
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 3:40 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Regattamom »

reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:31 pm
staythecourse wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:17 pm Honestly, terrible idea. Obviously, paying for a place when you visit will be cheaper so you are not doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make you feel better help buying a place for your kid that he, of course, can not afford himself then not a good idea. Just give him the amount you want as a down payment. The mortgage should be your son's alone. Why the HECK would he be wanting to own a property with a GF that he may just break up with next week?

Also, being on the title is much messier. How is it going to be structured? Are you going to be JT with rights to survivorship or when one dies first the others can just sell?

This easily fits in the bad idea box with no redeeming good qualities.

Good luck.

p.s. Again if you want to help just tell you kid that you will give x amount in down payment.

p.s.s. What son or girlfriend of son wants to have their house owned partly by mommy and daddy?
I may have explained much of what you commented on in recent posts. Interestingly from my readings and from calling various town clerks offices and real estate agencies more and more couples and parents are looking for in law apts with their home purchases. Towns are amending their zoning bylaws to accommodate this demand. The reason is simple. The parents have the money and the children dont and the need to take care of grandchildren and eventually grandparents is a pressing issue that is being resolved with multigenerational living. While its been popular with Hispanic, Black and Asian communities for years it has been catching on with Whites over the past 20 years. So what i am bringing up is the wave of the present, past and future living in America. Thank you.
reggie
This may be true, as I am also interested in the idea of purchasing a home that has a MIL suite attached for mother/parents as they age. But we would do it with our money, not theirs. Other people I know have done the same for their parents. I don't personally know of anyone that has gone in fifty/fifty with their child and future spouse to buy a home.
staythecourse
Posts: 6993
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Buying house with son

Post by staythecourse »

reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:31 pm
staythecourse wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:17 pm Honestly, terrible idea. Obviously, paying for a place when you visit will be cheaper so you are not doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make you feel better help buying a place for your kid that he, of course, can not afford himself then not a good idea. Just give him the amount you want as a down payment. The mortgage should be your son's alone. Why the HECK would he be wanting to own a property with a GF that he may just break up with next week?

Also, being on the title is much messier. How is it going to be structured? Are you going to be JT with rights to survivorship or when one dies first the others can just sell?

This easily fits in the bad idea box with no redeeming good qualities.

Good luck.

p.s. Again if you want to help just tell you kid that you will give x amount in down payment.

p.s.s. What son or girlfriend of son wants to have their house owned partly by mommy and daddy?
I may have explained much of what you commented on in recent posts. Interestingly from my readings and from calling various town clerks offices and real estate agencies more and more couples and parents are looking for in law apts with their home purchases. Towns are amending their zoning bylaws to accommodate this demand. The reason is simple. The parents have the money and the children dont and the need to take care of grandchildren and eventually grandparents is a pressing issue that is being resolved with multigenerational living. While its been popular with Hispanic, Black and Asian communities for years it has been catching on with Whites over the past 20 years. So what i am bringing up is the wave of the present, past and future living in America. Thank you.
reggie
I just see way too many downside issues socially and in your situation it is even more complex as your son is not even married to this girl. I don't even think it is a good idea for a person to be buying a place unless you are married. Too many financial issues. Even structuring the property is going to be tense. If she is part owner could she just break up with your son in 20 years when your are feeble and push a sell on the property and you guys are forced to have to relocate? I would not even think of this until you talk to some real estate lawyers to figure out what are the downsides.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Regattamom wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:37 pm
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:31 pm
staythecourse wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:17 pm Honestly, terrible idea. Obviously, paying for a place when you visit will be cheaper so you are not doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make you feel better help buying a place for your kid that he, of course, can not afford himself then not a good idea. Just give him the amount you want as a down payment. The mortgage should be your son's alone. Why the HECK would he be wanting to own a property with a GF that he may just break up with next week?

Also, being on the title is much messier. How is it going to be structured? Are you going to be JT with rights to survivorship or when one dies first the others can just sell?

This easily fits in the bad idea box with no redeeming good qualities.

Good luck.

p.s. Again if you want to help just tell you kid that you will give x amount in down payment.

p.s.s. What son or girlfriend of son wants to have their house owned partly by mommy and daddy?
I may have explained much of what you commented on in recent posts. Interestingly from my readings and from calling various town clerks offices and real estate agencies more and more couples and parents are looking for in law apts with their home purchases. Towns are amending their zoning bylaws to accommodate this demand. The reason is simple. The parents have the money and the children dont and the need to take care of grandchildren and eventually grandparents is a pressing issue that is being resolved with multigenerational living. While its been popular with Hispanic, Black and Asian communities for years it has been catching on with Whites over the past 20 years. So what i am bringing up is the wave of the present, past and future living in America. Thank you.
reggie
This may be true, as I am also interested in the idea of purchasing a home that has a MIL suite attached for mother/parents as they age. But we would do it with our money, not theirs. Other people I know have done the same for their parents. I don't personally know of anyone that has gone in fifty/fifty with their child and future spouse to buy a home.
Agreed neither do i but thats why i came to BH to get feedback. We see this as a most fulfilling way to help our son and his gf/future wife (they have been together 3 yrs) and will offer the same for our daughter when the time comes. If she accepts thats great if not then so be it. We simply wish to protect this asset in the best way we can and my son and gf are fully aware of what we are doing and our motivations. Thank you.
reggie.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

staythecourse wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:38 pm
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:31 pm
staythecourse wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:17 pm Honestly, terrible idea. Obviously, paying for a place when you visit will be cheaper so you are not doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make you feel better help buying a place for your kid that he, of course, can not afford himself then not a good idea. Just give him the amount you want as a down payment. The mortgage should be your son's alone. Why the HECK would he be wanting to own a property with a GF that he may just break up with next week?

Also, being on the title is much messier. How is it going to be structured? Are you going to be JT with rights to survivorship or when one dies first the others can just sell?

This easily fits in the bad idea box with no redeeming good qualities.

Good luck.

p.s. Again if you want to help just tell you kid that you will give x amount in down payment.

p.s.s. What son or girlfriend of son wants to have their house owned partly by mommy and daddy?
I may have explained much of what you commented on in recent posts. Interestingly from my readings and from calling various town clerks offices and real estate agencies more and more couples and parents are looking for in law apts with their home purchases. Towns are amending their zoning bylaws to accommodate this demand. The reason is simple. The parents have the money and the children dont and the need to take care of grandchildren and eventually grandparents is a pressing issue that is being resolved with multigenerational living. While its been popular with Hispanic, Black and Asian communities for years it has been catching on with Whites over the past 20 years. So what i am bringing up is the wave of the present, past and future living in America. Thank you.
reggie
I just see way too many downside issues socially and in your situation it is even more complex as your son is not even married to this girl. I don't even think it is a good idea for a person to be buying a place unless you are married. Too many financial issues. Even structuring the property is going to be tense. If she is part owner could she just break up with your son in 20 years when your are feeble and push a sell on the property and you guys are forced to have to relocate? I would not even think of this until you talk to some real estate lawyers to figure out what are the downsides.

Good luck.
Interestingly he will be getting a prenup as a result of our actions to help buy a house. So he will be going into marriage far better planned had we not brought up this offer. As far as the distant future we would transfer ownership to our son (its his inheritance) with right to lifetime tenancy so we cant be thrown out. And yes our RE atty said Tenants in Common is by far the best way to structure the ownership so our investment is protected. i am still looking for more opinions on that. Thank you
reggie
CFM300
Posts: 1994
Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:13 am

Re: Buying house with son

Post by CFM300 »

Here's something to consider that I haven't seen discussed:

What will happen to your apartment when you're not there?

Suppose your son and his partner have other visitors (friends, or her parents, siblings, or other relatives). Will you be comfortable with them staying in your space? If not, that needs to be resolved beforehand, because I can imagine there will be a very great temptation to use "your" vacant apartment to reduce congestion in "their" house and/or save others from having to get a hotel.
Jags4186
Posts: 5203
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2014 7:12 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Jags4186 »

reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:20 pm
Jags4186 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:12 pm Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Agreed but we are not looking for a cheap way out. There are those who dont want to be near their children in retirement and those that do. We are in the latter camp. We look at it as the most fulfilling thing we can do for the remainder of our lives and we are looking forward to it very much. It wont be easy and its not easy now but that doesnt mean its not worthwhile. I came on to BH to hear what my fellow BH have always provided. Stimulating thoughts, information and ideas that will make our path smoother. Thank you
reggie
Ask yourself this question. Is your son into this idea because you’re allowing him to buy a house he otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford or because he really wants to live with his girlfriend and his parents in the same house? Personally, unless I was willingly signing up to care for an elderly/sick parent, I would not want to live with my parents—even if it is an in-law apartment. I’m certain my wife wouldn’t either. I know I wouldn’t want to live with my in laws...and I like my in laws.
FIRE512
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2018 9:55 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by FIRE512 »

Why don’t you just buy it and rent it to him?

Or set up a trust that could either buy the property or provide him with private mortgage financing? I don’t know how that plays out in the event of a divorce, with or without prenup, but I have to think you could protect the inheritance in someway if things were to go south.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

CFM300 wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:04 am Here's something to consider that I haven't seen discussed:

What will happen to your apartment when you're not there?

Suppose your son and his partner have other visitors (friends, or her parents, siblings, or other relatives). Will you be comfortable with them staying in your space? If not, that needs to be resolved beforehand, because I can imagine there will be a very great temptation to use "your" vacant apartment to reduce congestion in "their" house and/or save others from having to get a hotel.
Interestingly my son brought that up. What do we do with that space when you are not there dad? Well i have suggested to our son that at some point based on our age compared to her parents who are 8 and 9 yrs younger that they will probably move in and b taken care of when we pass. Certainly in the meantime they can use our space (especially when their daughter is pregnant etc) when we are not around (Florida beckons in the NE winters). However as i gently had to remind him..... we paid for the space......do we get to have our friends over for drunken orgies when you guys are at work?......lol. Thank you.
reggie
ladycat
Posts: 231
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:02 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by ladycat »

I don’t have issues with multi-generational housing. I grew up with three generations living in one home and my sister currently has three generations in her home.

It sounds like you’re trying to plan for a lot of “what ifs”. I’d expect everyone involved to have numerous conversations that are open & honest, with time for everyone to think about what they’re agreeing to, now, and in the future.

Since you seem to have serious concerns regarding the longevity of a potential marriage and the financial disentanglement of a marriage that hasn’t even happened yet, I’d expect some very uncomfortable conversations. Think along the lines of “gee girlfriend, we like you and we want the comfort & convenience of staying in your/our home when we visit, but we’re preparing to protect ourselves, our son, and our possible grandchildren, should you and our son ever get married and divorced.

And I'd have experienced lawyers involved.
Last edited by ladycat on Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Jags4186 wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:08 am
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:20 pm
Jags4186 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:12 pm Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Agreed but we are not looking for a cheap way out. There are those who dont want to be near their children in retirement and those that do. We are in the latter camp. We look at it as the most fulfilling thing we can do for the remainder of our lives and we are looking forward to it very much. It wont be easy and its not easy now but that doesnt mean its not worthwhile. I came on to BH to hear what my fellow BH have always provided. Stimulating thoughts, information and ideas that will make our path smoother. Thank you
reggie
Ask yourself this question. Is your son into this idea because you’re allowing him to buy a house he otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford or because he really wants to live with his girlfriend and his parents in the same house? Personally, unless I was willingly signing up to care for an elderly/sick parent, I would not want to live with my parents—even if it is an in-law apartment. I’m certain my wife wouldn’t either. I know I wouldn’t want to live with my in laws...and I like my in laws.
Well i certainly understand those concerns but. The areas that have the better school systems (think grandchildren) are beyond their reach but not ours. So we help. If he could afford to do this comfortably on their own they may have gone for it but they cant and maybe they never will be able as the homes in solid school districts within job commute are astronomical. I took the long view with him when i first brought this up. Not just the money to help purchase and maintain a home but the presence of grandparents ( hers live nearby) to help taking care of future grandchildren as one example of an asset thats non financial. As i mentioned earlier Asian, Hispanic and Black cultures have always embraced multigenerational living as the norm and its only recently that Whites are seeing the wisdom along with changing town zoning laws. It is reducing the stress on nursing homes and day care centers. Im 71 and my wife is 68. Her parents are 60 and 64. None of us are dead, divorced or disabled. We cant think of anything more fulfilling than doing what we are proposing. Thank you
reggie
User avatar
unclescrooge
Posts: 5403
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:00 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by unclescrooge »

reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:50 pm
Agreed neither do i but thats why i came to BH to get feedback. We see this as a most fulfilling way to help our son and his gf/future wife (they have been together 3 yrs) and will offer the same for our daughter when the time comes. If she accepts thats great if not then so be it. We simply wish to protect this asset in the best way we can and my son and gf are fully aware of what we are doing and our motivations. Thank you.
reggie.
Buy the house in your name and rent it to son/GF.

When they have the financial wherewithal to buy it you can sell it to them.
Darwin
Posts: 115
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:44 am
Location: New Hampshire

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Darwin »

Jags4186 wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:08 am
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:20 pm
Jags4186 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:12 pm Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Agreed but we are not looking for a cheap way out. There are those who dont want to be near their children in retirement and those that do. We are in the latter camp. We look at it as the most fulfilling thing we can do for the remainder of our lives and we are looking forward to it very much. It wont be easy and its not easy now but that doesnt mean its not worthwhile. I came on to BH to hear what my fellow BH have always provided. Stimulating thoughts, information and ideas that will make our path smoother. Thank you
reggie
Ask yourself this question. Is your son into this idea because you’re allowing him to buy a house he otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford...
I see this as a key point. We live above our means. Propping up another generation to expect too much might not help them. And I say this as a kid coming from the other direction, with a dad who stole my money even when he was financially secure and I wasn't. Sometimes trying to help your offspring can cripple them. But, I have to say, I salute you for trying to do the right thing. I'm actually an optimistic person on these shared-land subjects, which is why it took me an embarrassing THREE tries (two with friends, last with Dad) to realize that it isn't a good idea.
No planet, no business. Earth bats last.
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

ladycat wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:21 am I don’t have issues with multi-generational housing. I grew up with three generations living in one home and my sister currently has three generations in her home.

It sounds like you’re trying to plan for a lot of “what ifs”. I’d expect everyone involved to have numerous conversations that are open & honest, with time for everyone to think about what they’re agreeing to, now, and in the future.

Since you seem to have serious concerns regarding the longevity of a potential marriage and the financial disentanglement of a marriage that hasn’t even happened yet, I’d expect some very uncomfortable conversations. Think along the lines of “gee girlfriend, we like you and we want the comfort & convenience of staying in your/our home when we visit, but we’re preparing to protect ourselves, our son, and our possible grandchildren, should you and our son ever get married and divorced.

And I'd have experienced lawyers involved.
When i first brought up this offer with my son i made it very clear that open communication is fundamental for this to work.....i also added that a sense of humor is just as important. The concern regarding divorce possibilities is based on the simple reality that its highly probable....not just possible. Ask anyone who has been through a divorce. As divorce judges are only concerned with splitting assets i have every intention of protecting ours as best possible. After all this is his inheritance not hers. I would expect no less from her parents if the situation were reversed. Hopefully that resolves those concerns.
As far as the actual living arrangement we would continue as we have for the past 3 years with them. Namely to be polite and non imposing. We would have our own spacious private area with our own entrance. Our only stipulation apart from being on the title for 50%. We would always call first and not just drop in. Its their house and we have told them that. They live 5 hours away and we are not moving there as our daughter lives here with us. Further we will be spending a lot of time in Florida. They already know that as we slow down we will probably spend more time with them and the grandchildren.....babysitters anyone? Her parents live nearby. Further, we will make the same offer to our daughter when the time comes. Asians,Blacks and Hispanics have lived this way for generations and now Whites are catching on in droves. As far as cable and newspapers...... i will definitely "borrow" my sons. Thank you
reggie
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

unclescrooge wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:35 am
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:50 pm
Agreed neither do i but thats why i came to BH to get feedback. We see this as a most fulfilling way to help our son and his gf/future wife (they have been together 3 yrs) and will offer the same for our daughter when the time comes. If she accepts thats great if not then so be it. We simply wish to protect this asset in the best way we can and my son and gf are fully aware of what we are doing and our motivations. Thank you.
reggie.
Buy the house in your name and rent it to son/GF.

When they have the financial wherewithal to buy it you can sell it to them.
I will check on the legal ramifications as i dont want residency issues in his state for tax reasons. But its a good thought and i will look in to it. Thank you.
reggie
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Darwin wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:41 am
Jags4186 wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:08 am
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:20 pm
Jags4186 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:12 pm Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Agreed but we are not looking for a cheap way out. There are those who dont want to be near their children in retirement and those that do. We are in the latter camp. We look at it as the most fulfilling thing we can do for the remainder of our lives and we are looking forward to it very much. It wont be easy and its not easy now but that doesnt mean its not worthwhile. I came on to BH to hear what my fellow BH have always provided. Stimulating thoughts, information and ideas that will make our path smoother. Thank you
reggie
Ask yourself this question. Is your son into this idea because you’re allowing him to buy a house he otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford...
I see this as a key point. We live above our means. Propping up another generation to expect too much might not help them. And I say this as a kid coming from the other direction, with a dad who stole my money even when he was financially secure and I wasn't. Sometimes trying to help your offspring can cripple them. But, I have to say, I salute you for trying to do the right thing. I'm actually an optimistic person on these shared-land subjects, which is why it took me an embarrassing THREE tries (two with friends, last with Dad) to realize that it isn't a good idea.
Yes i realize this idea is a bit unusual but i to am optimistic about it and we see it as the most fulfilling adventure we can do for the remainder of our lives. As far as our son needing propping up i hear you but he has already performed eminently well in his chosen profession as as his gf in hers. Its an experiment for sure but i suspect things are going to work out greater than expected. Thank you
reggie.
Nissanzx1
Posts: 605
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2018 11:13 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Nissanzx1 »

Don’t like it. What happens when a child is killed in a freak accident on the property and you get sued for millions? This happened to a family member of mine. Unbearable heart ache and aged them 10 years. Trust me, not something you could see coming...
Topic Author
reggiesimpson
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by reggiesimpson »

Nissanzx1 wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:05 am Don’t like it. What happens when a child is killed in a freak accident on the property and you get sued for millions? This happened to a family member of mine. Unbearable heart ache and aged them 10 years. Trust me, not something you could see coming...
$5,000,000 liability policy is cheap. And that accident can happen anywhere anytime but that doesnt stop people from owning property.Thank you.
reggie.
Darwin
Posts: 115
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:44 am
Location: New Hampshire

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Darwin »

reggiesimpson wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:04 am
Darwin wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:41 am
Jags4186 wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:08 am
reggiesimpson wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:20 pm
Jags4186 wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:12 pm Seems like it would be a lot cheaper for you to just rent a hotel room every time you visit.
Agreed but we are not looking for a cheap way out. There are those who dont want to be near their children in retirement and those that do. We are in the latter camp. We look at it as the most fulfilling thing we can do for the remainder of our lives and we are looking forward to it very much. It wont be easy and its not easy now but that doesnt mean its not worthwhile. I came on to BH to hear what my fellow BH have always provided. Stimulating thoughts, information and ideas that will make our path smoother. Thank you
reggie
Ask yourself this question. Is your son into this idea because you’re allowing him to buy a house he otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford...
I see this as a key point. We live above our means. Propping up another generation to expect too much might not help them. And I say this as a kid coming from the other direction, with a dad who stole my money even when he was financially secure and I wasn't. Sometimes trying to help your offspring can cripple them. But, I have to say, I salute you for trying to do the right thing. I'm actually an optimistic person on these shared-land subjects, which is why it took me an embarrassing THREE tries (two with friends, last with Dad) to realize that it isn't a good idea.
Yes i realize this idea is a bit unusual but i to am optimistic about it and we see it as the most fulfilling adventure we can do for the remainder of our lives. As far as our son needing propping up i hear you but he has already performed eminently well in his chosen profession as as his gf in hers. Its an experiment for sure but i suspect things are going to work out greater than expected. Thank you
reggie.
In that case, I give you all two thumbs up. I wish you well, and hope things work out. I admit, my instincts were always that this OUGHT to work! It's all about the personalities, and communication. This is really the test, whether both of you are putting family before finance.
No planet, no business. Earth bats last.
Flyer24
Moderator
Posts: 2197
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 4:21 pm

Re: Buying house with son

Post by Flyer24 »

I see very few if any on here think it is a good idea. Cut the strings and let your son be on his own. Find a VRBO when you want to visit. I have a great relationship with my wife’s parents but there is zero chance that I would want them to have partial ownership of my house. It is just a terrible idea.
Locked