Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

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ThankYouJack
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Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:31 pm

I'm wondering how high net worth families teach their children about money. I think I'll tell my kids that we are blessed / fortunate to not have to worry about money but we are also resourceful and don't buy a bigger house or fancier cars (or more toys) just because we can. To me that seems more truthful and could lead to better outcomes if the kids inherit a large sum when we pass on
Last edited by ThankYouJack on Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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dm200
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by dm200 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:34 pm

ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:31 pm
I'm wondering how high net worth families teach their children about money. I think I'll tell my kids that we are blessed / fortunate to not have to worry about money but we are also resourceful and don't buy a bigger house or fancier cars (or more toys) just because we can. To me that seems more truthful and could lead to better outcomes if the kids inherit a large sum when we pass on
I suppose it depends on what kind of adults you want them to become.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by dknightd » Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:40 pm

ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:31 pm
I'm wondering how high net worth families teach their children about money. I think I'll tell my kids that we are blessed / fortunate to not have to worry about money but we are also resourceful and don't buy a bigger house or fancier cars (or more toys) just because we can. To me that seems more truthful and could lead to better outcomes if the kids inherit a large sum when we pass on
I'm not in that not high worth. I'm not sure how to define high worth. I would not tell my kids. Who knows, you might spend the money! Let them sort out their own lives. If you happen to have a lot of left over money, they will find out when you die.

stan1
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by stan1 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:45 pm

I'd tell them "we are just like everyone else" and do my best to live our lives that way. Then when they are in high school I'd tell them "I'll pay for college but I'm going to spend the rest of it myself". Once college is done you can pay for graduate school, a wedding, and help with a down payment. At that point they'll start to understand.

I'll accept that I'd have to do it a little different if I was a Walton heir.

ThankYouJack
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:47 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:34 pm
ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:31 pm
I'm wondering how high net worth families teach their children about money. I think I'll tell my kids that we are blessed / fortunate to not have to worry about money but we are also resourceful and don't buy a bigger house or fancier cars (or more toys) just because we can. To me that seems more truthful and could lead to better outcomes if the kids inherit a large sum when we pass on
I suppose it depends on what kind of adults you want them to become.
I think the key is to teach them values. If someone feels there's an ample amount of money but is sound financially and has great values, I don't think that would lead to bad things.

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celia
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by celia » Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:53 pm

Even Warren Buffett didn't tell his kids they had lots of money when they were growing up. He wanted them to realize what a dollar meant and they had part time jobs in high school.

However, at some point, he gave them shares of stock for Christmas each year so they could learn about investing and how to evaluate companies.

You might want to read about how he raised his kids, to see if it makes sense to you.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by Irisheyes » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:06 pm

At some point, kids are just going to ask quite bluntly. My daughter got curious in middle school -- when she first started noticing differences in her friends houses/places they went on vacation, etc etc.

We told her exactly where things stood -- being honest about money as well as most everything else has always been important to us with our kid.

But by then we had modeled, if not exactly frugality, an eschewal of ostentatious spending for many years. So a certain approach to money was already ingrained in her long before she knew anything about our household's financial standing. Having that knowledge hasn't seemed to make any difference to her work ethic or saving habits.

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dm200
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by dm200 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:12 pm

There is a balance, it seems to me, between understanding (in most cases, I believe) that both good fortune and individual effort/choices are responsible.

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dm200
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by dm200 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:12 pm

There is a balance, it seems to me, between understanding (in most cases, I believe) that both good fortune and individual effort/choices are responsible.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm

celia wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:53 pm
Even Warren Buffett didn't tell his kids they had lots of money when they were growing up. He wanted them to realize what a dollar meant and they had part time jobs in high school.

However, at some point, he gave them shares of stock for Christmas each year so they could learn about investing and how to evaluate companies.

You might want to read about how he raised his kids, to see if it makes sense to you.
I won't argue with that. I think Warren Buffett is the epitome of resourcefulness and living below your means.

I guess my subject could be read the wrong way. I don't want my kids to think there is an ample amount of money from Mom and Dad, but there is an ample amount of money in the world for blessed people who have solid values. I think it would especially hit home on a family trip to a 3rd world country and seeing people living in shacks.

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dm200
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by dm200 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:22 pm

In the farming area where I grew up, it was very common that successful farmers would teach their children the value of hard work by having them (often from a young age) do lots of farm work.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by GCD » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:27 pm

There's a book, Capital Without Borders, that talks about how the wealthy manage their money. It also references, Family Wealth: Keeping it in the Family, and describes it as the bible of the wealth management profession. While both of these books are about how to manage money and preserve money, they also discuss the process of teaching each generation how to handle money.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by randomguy » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:31 pm

stan1 wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:45 pm
I'd tell them "we are just like everyone else" and do my best to live our lives that way. Then when they are in high school I'd tell them "I'll pay for college but I'm going to spend the rest of it myself". Once college is done you can pay for graduate school, a wedding, and help with a down payment. At that point they'll start to understand.

I'll accept that I'd have to do it a little different if I was a Walton heir.
The thing is that this is a lie:). There is no such thing as everybody else and at some point it is important to learn that. Just because you can afford a 20 dollar item doesn't mean that other people can. And just because you can't afford a 200 dollar one also doesn't mean that someone else can't. It is very easy to think everybody is like you when you live in a homogeneous bubble where everyone is making the roughly the same (i.e. all in the 100-200k range) and we are talking minor tweaks like getting a BMW versus a Toyota, having 2k sq ft or 3k, Harvard or State, or vacation at disney world or disney world paris:).

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by InvestedEngineer » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:34 pm

The Opposite of Spoiled was an interesting read on the topic. I'll take note of the other books mentioned here for personal reading, too. Thanks.

The key is to focus on who the kids are, and forming them in the image you want, instead of how much money anybody has. If they're good kids who work hard, they will likely turn into good adults. If you can do that, they'll be fine with any amount of money - however large or small.

+1 to farmers (and ranchers) doing this well.

Ron Scott
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by Ron Scott » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:34 pm

ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:31 pm
I'm wondering how high net worth families teach their children about money. I think I'll tell my kids that we are blessed / fortunate to not have to worry about money but we are also resourceful and don't buy a bigger house or fancier cars (or more toys) just because we can. To me that seems more truthful and could lead to better outcomes if the kids inherit a large sum when we pass on
That's fine unless you actually do buy the bigger house, the vacation home, Porsche(s), boat, luxury travel, etc. Everything's relative. If you have $25m and live like you only have $15, you still have an issue.

IMO what kids need to understand includes the following:

1. Your Net Worth has nothing to do with your personal worth. We are not better or worse than any other family; we are not defined by our financial well being. We are defined by things like how we treat each other, what we contribute to the world around us, how we behave with friends and strangers...
2. Money is a means to an end, not an end in itself. We respect what it can do and do not waste it. We can be charitable.
3. No, I'm not buying you an M4 because others in your school have one. Maybe we have the money; but we're not stupid.
4. I know you don't like it when mommy and I argue. We will work on that. Money doesn't make you happy--that's a completely different game and we all have to learn how to play it.
5. When we die you will inherit a good bit of money and along the way we'll use our money to help you with school and some other things. But before we die you have to work for it if you want to enjoy what money can offer. If we just gave you money for doing nothing we'd be bad parents, and we're good parents.
6. (And at the right age) Here's the general plan we use to manage our money. Let's go over it and you can ask questions. There's no one right way, but there are many horrible ways. Your mother and I have some ideas about how you should think about the family's money and we'd like you to fully understand it because someday you'll be making all the decisions...
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by JackoC » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:46 pm

I don't disagree with 'teaching [good, your, etc] values' but under what circumstances would you *not* do that? So I wonder how relevant that point really is practically speaking. Also it's fine to admire Warren Buffett which I do to some extent though maybe not as much as some people here seem to. But his situation is vastly different from any likely poster here. How could Buffett's kids have not realized he was a world famous multi-billionaire except when they were very young? That itself is quite different than likely personal experiences here of 'ample amount of money', and also points to the wide range of ages of kids were could be talking about, 6 yr old kids, 30 yr old kids? Besides wide ranges of what 'ample money' could mean.

You can form a lot of the perception of the world of your 6 yr old, not your 30 yr old, not so much even your 12 yr old if reasonably bright and precocious.

And for example say you pay for all education, then maybe a (normal) car or help with a downpayment, or help in a financial rough spot as young adult, whatever the scenario. It's different if that's about as much as the parents can manage v. if that's just a small taste of what the kid will inherit in late middle age (on an actuarial expected basis). Seems to me from past discussions of this kind, people assume their own (or close family or friends') situations then end up talking past each other, because other peoples' situations are pretty different. And then again 'standardizing' on say Buffett makes it a meaningless conversation as highly likely *nobody* is actually in a situation like that.
Last edited by JackoC on Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by bgf » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:50 pm

ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm
I don't want my kids to think there is an ample amount of money from Mom and Dad, but there is an ample amount of money in the world for blessed people who have solid values. I think it would especially hit home on a family trip to a 3rd world country and seeing people living in shacks.
you might want to work on your message. this doesn't make any sense.
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by Irisheyes » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:03 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:22 pm
In the farming area where I grew up, it was very common that successful farmers would teach their children the value of hard work by having them (often from a young age) do lots of farm work.
Yes. And in white collar professional areas where money is earned from the pen (or pixel) rather than the plough, we teach our children the value of hard work by having them churn through substantial amounts of schoolwork and then home-work on a daily basis.
Last edited by Irisheyes on Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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dm200
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by dm200 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:04 pm

There are also situations where a family is financially "comfortable" - then circumstances change a lot - moving the family from "comfortable" to very "challenged" financially.

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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by MotoTrojan » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:06 pm

bgf wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:50 pm
ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm
I don't want my kids to think there is an ample amount of money from Mom and Dad, but there is an ample amount of money in the world for blessed people who have solid values. I think it would especially hit home on a family trip to a 3rd world country and seeing people living in shacks.
you might want to work on your message. this doesn't make any sense.
Yup. As written this sounds pretty hateful (I don’t think that was your intent). 3rd world humans may not be as blessed as us but that doesn’t speak to their values.

dknightd
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by dknightd » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:14 pm

How do you define "an ample amount of money" ?

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by delamer » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:15 pm

We started filling in our kids on our financial situation — like income and level of savings —when they were teenagers. Even to the point that we told them who would be their guardian and trustee of their assets (two different people) in the unlikely event that we both died before they were adults.

I felt they could handle that information at that age; obviously, it depends on your kids.

And we made it clear that we would pay for college and help with future house downpayments. And continue the family tradition of contributing to college funds for any grandchildren.

But we also emphasized that we didn’t have enough money to support them as adults, even if they inherited everything at a young age. And so the way they would be able to live on a daily basis would be dependent on their own earning power and their stewardship of their financial resources.

There is a difference between providing support at key points in a kid’s financial life versus providing them ongoing subsidies.
Last edited by delamer on Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by KlangFool » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:16 pm

OP,

1) How do you teach someone how to manage money if they do not manage any money?

2) Do you really want to hope for the best when you want to give someone 6 figures or 7 figures of money?

3) Or, you have a better shot of them manage the money wisely if you start them at 5 figures or 6 figures?

You cannot teach someone how to manage money if they do not do it themselves.

My children were given a few hundred per year since they were born. Now, they have about 20K to 30K each while they are in college. It is their money. They get to decide how to spend and manage that money since they were a kid. I do not have to hope for the best if they were given 6 figures by me.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:20 pm

It’s called a job. From a young age, the child is asked to participate in household chores. Eventually taking out the trash morphs into a paying part-time job.
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:45 pm

dknightd wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:14 pm
How do you define "an ample amount of money" ?
I would say "enough" where you don't have to worry about it or be anxious about it. Where you don't always want to have more.

ThankYouJack
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:53 pm

MotoTrojan wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:06 pm
bgf wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:50 pm
ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm
I don't want my kids to think there is an ample amount of money from Mom and Dad, but there is an ample amount of money in the world for blessed people who have solid values. I think it would especially hit home on a family trip to a 3rd world country and seeing people living in shacks.
you might want to work on your message. this doesn't make any sense.
Yup. As written this sounds pretty hateful (I don’t think that was your intent). 3rd world humans may not be as blessed as us but that doesn’t speak to their values.
Wow, I realize now how bad that sounds. By blessed I mean fortunate. By world (the first time around), I mean "our world" (the US and the bubble of upper middle class). By values, I mean people who aren't greedy and selfish and always wanting more.

So we're fortunate to live the US, have jobs where we can make solid money, and aren't going to blow the money wastefully and extravagantly.

ThankYouJack
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:54 pm

KlangFool wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:16 pm
OP,

1) How do you teach someone how to manage money if they do not manage any money?

2) Do you really want to hope for the best when you want to give someone 6 figures or 7 figures of money?

3) Or, you have a better shot of them manage the money wisely if you start them at 5 figures or 6 figures?

You cannot teach someone how to manage money if they do not do it themselves.

My children were given a few hundred per year since they were born. Now, they have about 20K to 30K each while they are in college. It is their money. They get to decide how to spend and manage that money since they were a kid. I do not have to hope for the best if they were given 6 figures by me.

KlangFool
I agree with you. I've started letting my kids manage their money at a very early ages.

ThankYouJack
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:59 pm

Irisheyes wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:06 pm
At some point, kids are just going to ask quite bluntly. My daughter got curious in middle school -- when she first started noticing differences in her friends houses/places they went on vacation, etc etc.

We told her exactly where things stood -- being honest about money as well as most everything else has always been important to us with our kid.

But by then we had modeled, if not exactly frugality, an eschewal of ostentatious spending for many years. So a certain approach to money was already ingrained in her long before she knew anything about our household's financial standing. Having that knowledge hasn't seemed to make any difference to her work ethic or saving habits.
Interestingly, I also feel the need to be quite honest with my kids.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by CascadiaSoonish » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:02 pm

We just upped our 11 year old's allowance to $25 a week. But to get that he had to agree to a set of expectations including buying ingredients+cooking/buying dinner out once a month for the family, be responsible for his texting-only cell phone plan ($3 a month on T Mobile, sweet) and saving for holiday/birthday gifts and for college. So far he's been pretty good about it. Learned a hard lesson about in-app purchases a few months back :shock: but otherwise has been demonstrating responsibility.

We're not wealthy but we're comfortably in the two comma club and there's also family money in the future, so we take this seriously. Some books I've liked on the subject include The Thin Green Line (Sullivan), Uneasy Street (Sherman), Family Wealth (Hughes), and If You Can (Bernstein). Cautionary tales include Cheerful Money (Friend) and Beer Money (Stroh). And we try to model responsible behavior. While we aren't frugal we do openly talk about managing our finances in front of the kids and we talk about tradeoffs (if we do vacation X then there's less money for activity Y) and we emphasize that we're fortunate to have such choices in life. We've said things along the lines of "we have enough money to have freedom in what we choose to do, but not so much money that we can do nothing at all" and will be more explicit about that philosophy as they get older.

I'd like to think my kids are well positioned to handle this well. We have an intern at work who I suspect is sitting on family money and it's not a good thing; they're only interested in the shiny parts of the industry and have decided they aren't going to pay their dues by doing the less attractive work. While they apparently have the financial freedom to do so, it also makes them mostly unemployable. Not a good place to end up as a result of financial independence at a young age.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by arcticpineapplecorp. » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:24 pm

very interesting discussion. Couple thoughts:

I (along with Meb Faber) remember these two William Bernstein quotes:
And there’s two quotes from your books that I love, particularly you are fondly speaking about your parents, and one where you said your dad had made a quote where you say, “Your neighbors owned a lot, but didn’t have a lot.” And then a follow-up one I loved, when you asked your parents, you said, “Are we rich?” And they said, “Your mother and I are comfortably well-to-do. You don’t have a dime.” Which I thought was really funny.
source: https://mebfaber.com/2017/07/05/episode ... ent-going/
So first remember to teach your kids that just because other people have nicer stuff doesn't mean they have more money. They probably have less money because they spent it on that nicer stuff.

This first part of the quote is well reinforced in the Morgan Housel article (can't remember the original source, might have been a WSJ article)
Singer Rihanna earns tens of millions of dollars, but found herself "effectively bankrupt" in 2009. She sued her financial adviser for not doing his job. He offered a legendary response: "Was it really necessary to tell her that if you spend money on things you will end up with the things and not the money?"
source: https://www.fool.com/investing/general/ ... money.aspx
The second point is what Dr. Bernstein said in the latter quote above...that your kids aren't well off, you and your spouse are. If your kids want to be well off, they should seek it like anyone else would, not expect it to be served up on a silver (or gold, or platinum?) platter.

There's no evidence that kids won't squander an inheritance just because you teach them about money. In fact, most wealth generated in families is destroyed by the third generation. There are many reasons for this (taxes and inflation being just a few, as eloquently described in this co-authored paper by Rob Arnott, William Berstein and Lillian Wu titled, "The Myth of Dynastic Wealth": https://www.google.com/search?q=the+myt ... fox-b-1-ab) but it's also well known that the first generation works hard and builds the wealth, perhaps teaches the next generation how they built it, but it's forgotten by the third because there's no way for the children to see what it actually took, the hard work to build it in the first place).

You could show them they'd be fortunate to live in a country where the median income is well above the world standard. In fact, this article from 2012 (so figures probably have increased since then) showed that a salary of $34,000 (in 2012) put you in the top 1% of income earners worldwide.
source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... e-U-S.html

Of course, then you can have a discussion about the difference between absolute wealth and relative wealth.
Last edited by arcticpineapplecorp. on Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by an_asker » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:32 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:34 pm
ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:31 pm
I'm wondering how high net worth families teach their children about money. I think I'll tell my kids that we are blessed / fortunate to not have to worry about money but we are also resourceful and don't buy a bigger house or fancier cars (or more toys) just because we can. To me that seems more truthful and could lead to better outcomes if the kids inherit a large sum when we pass on
I suppose it depends on what kind of adults you want them to become.
It depends on the age of the kids as well.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by btenny » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:46 pm

I witnessed this many years ago. One of my rich neighbors was teaching his son how to invest in the stock market when he was ten or so. He took his son to the brokerage and showed him the ticker tape and how stuff was priced and when the market was open and some other data. Then he made him read the WSJ for about a month and price 10 stocks on a chart by hand with pencil and paper. Then at the end of that month he told him he was going to get a account with $10K in it for investing. He ask him to figure out which stocks he wanted to buy for his $$ and how much of each he could buy. Then he helped him do the stock picking and watching for about a year. (I am not sure what all went on as I got most of this second hand from my son). Part of the reward to the son for really digging in and learning the stuff was a bet with his Dad of some sort and a cool ski vacation the next spring as a reward for doing well.

I do not know how the kid did as my son lost interest and stopped talking about it. Plus I did not have $10K or the time or desire to teach my kid about stocks at that time. Dumb me as maybe $1K would have been a good investment and boht of us would have learned a lot. But I thought that idea was a good start for that family as they own shopping centers and have tons of $$.

A similar thing occurred with another of my sons friends. That family made their son go to brokerage school to learn about the families portfolio. The kid had to set in the monthly status discussion and do some math. I am not sure what all he learned but he took history in college but got a job as a stock analyst after college and made enough to retire at 40. So something stuck.

Just some ideas. Good Luck.

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eye.surgeon
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by eye.surgeon » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:59 pm

It's more important to teach your kids the value of money, rather than teaching them how much or little money you have.
"I would rather be certain of a good return than hopeful of a great one" | Warren Buffett

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GerryL
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by GerryL » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:08 pm

Another challenge for teaching kids in high-income families about money that I haven't seen discussed in this thread:
You can afford and choose to send your kids to private schools where they socialize with kids from families with sky-high incomes. They may come to see themselves as "poor" and "disadvantaged," and the task of instilling in them an understanding about the value of money is that much more difficult.

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bottlecap
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by bottlecap » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:43 pm

Teach them about working hard. Teach them about saving and being frugal. Tell them not to expect an inheritance, because they are not entitled to anything they don't earn.

I think even if you spend a bit, you can still instill the values of hard work and not expecting anything they don't earn.

JT

Isabelle77
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by Isabelle77 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:08 pm

So I can offer a few thoughts on this just from personal experience. My parents were successful (first generation successful) and I went to expensive private schools and an expensive private college, we lived in a wealthy neighborhood. I've always been pretty responsible with money and so have my siblings.

My parents are old fashioned and didn't talk to us about their money much but we learned from watching them I think. They weren't frugal really and some things were high priority, nice vacations, and education primarily. But we never had new cars unless they were company cars, I remember getting new furniture once in my childhood, my mom shopped at places like Marshalls and TJ Maxx for clothing. We each had three aluminum cans in our rooms and when we were given money we had to log it in our notebooks and split it three ways, one can for charity, one for saving, and one for spending. I raided my savings can once to go to the movies and my mother was furious :) My parents taught us also to live our lives from a place of gratitude. Partly religious, it was just instilled in us early that we were lucky people and not just because we had enough money.

So I think it mostly comes from example. I knew my parents had money, I also knew it wasn't mine. My parents talked a lot about independence and working hard, it never occurred to me that they would help me out financially once I had graduated, the same can be said of my siblings. Honestly, most of the people I grew up with also seem to be pretty responsible financially although I don't know the details.

editing to add. I think what I DID have that many other young people don't necessarily have, is the knowledge that I wouldn't starve or be homeless. As much as I can go on about how well my parents trained us to be independent, and they did, I always knew that they would bail me out if I really needed it, as much as it would have humiliated me to ask for help.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by KlangFool » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:23 pm

OP,

I am a bit confused. How old are your kids? How old are you? Who is "we" in this context? Are you telling your kids that they could start spending your money when they started working? Or, they do not need to work since you have enough money to last them whole lives?

What is your goal in telling your kids? Is your plan that they can start to travel all over the world instead of earning a living?

KlangFool

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Cycle
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by Cycle » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:30 pm

ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm
I think it would especially hit home on a family trip to a 3rd world country and seeing people living in shacks.
I have hundreds of people living in tents a few miles from my house. In my neighborhood, I have bucket people, ie people who have no furniture but 5 gallon pales and sleep on the floor of their apartment. I've seen this when visiting near by multi-unit properties for sale. This is Minneapolis, most cities are far worse since they don't have our cold winters.

Anyways, you don't need to create 20t of carbon to show kids squalor

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by SQRT » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:35 pm

I think the best way to teach your kids is through example. If you are responsible they will likely be as well. Do as I say not as I do doesn’t work very well with kids. I didn’t listen to what my father said but learned a lot from what he did.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by SQRT » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:39 pm

eye.surgeon wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:59 pm
It's more important to teach your kids the value of money, rather than teaching them how much or little money you have.
Agree. In any event kids will usually get s fairly good idea without you being specific.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by theplayer11 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:41 pm

I would never tell kids that we don't have to worry about money. Not sure what that would accomplish.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by BFive55 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:50 pm

I don't have children. But I know when parents have failed to teach their children about money. Especially when the parents are wealthy.

Kid: "I'm wealthy."

No, you're not. Your parents are wealthy, you are not.

If a child says this to others, then whoever the parents are have failed to teach them about wealth and infuse a proper understanding of wealth on their children. A child who has earned nothing should not consider himself or herself "wealthy" (stating "My parents are wealthy" is a bit different).

I think raising children in a wealthy household one must also quiz their children: why do you think you deserve Expensive Item A or us Paying for Vacation B?

Dink2018
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Re: Teaching kids there is ample amount of money

Post by Dink2018 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:14 pm

ThankYouJack wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm
celia wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:53 pm
Even Warren Buffett didn't tell his kids they had lots of money when they were growing up. He wanted them to realize what a dollar meant and they had part time jobs in high school.

However, at some point, he gave them shares of stock for Christmas each year so they could learn about investing and how to evaluate companies.

You might want to read about how he raised his kids, to see if it makes sense to you.
I won't argue with that. I think Warren Buffett is the epitome of resourcefulness and living below your means.

I guess my subject could be read the wrong way. I don't want my kids to think there is an ample amount of money from Mom and Dad, but there is an ample amount of money in the world for blessed people who have solid values. I think it would especially hit home on a family trip to a 3rd world country and seeing people living in shacks.
Absolutely.

No matter how old you are...if you've never visited a slum in a third world country, you have not had one of the most eye opening experience of life. I highly recommend spending at least several weeks living in such a place, it will change your mind and open your thoughts to so many different realities of human existence.

Being "aware" of poverty as a kid at a country club VS living in poverty with the local people are two totally different things.

The subject could be anything: entrepreneurship, love, poverty, finance, mathematics, psychology, dance, engineering.

All are so much better and deeper when you've lived them vs vicariously creating assumptions + what you "remembering" reality was like during the mental time frame.
Last edited by Dink2018 on Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by Broken Man 1999 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:15 pm

I knew from an early age that my father had assets that were worth a !ot of money, in acreage planted in citrus groves.

But I also knew it wasn't my money, and that I had to build my own life, which I (we) did.

Daughters know our financial position, but they are in great shape on their own.

So far I am pleased by their efforts. I am not worried about their activities when we are gone.

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven than I shall not go. " -Mark Twain

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by Elena » Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:20 pm

My situation was the opposite. My parents began with little. My mom comes from poverty. Then my dad started doing really well, and began spending tons of money, responsibly, no debt, but tons compared to average in the community. As a teenager, I told him he ought to be spending less, just in case, and that I did not need all those things, just a few, and that I was grateful but excess was useless. I remembered when we used cardboard boxes as nightstands. My dad never really understood (new money generation, I guess), and cannot fathom how I can retire whenever I desire, on a median salary, at 45 years of age, and does not understand moderate spending. My mom totally gets it. My mom and I are cautious. We remember previous generations.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by fourwheelcycle » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:00 pm

We live in a pretty nice neighborhood - not the nicest in town but definitely OK. Once, when everyone on our street had young kids, our neighbor's son was invited over to play at the house of a friend who lived in the biggest house in the most expensive neighborhood in our town. The house had/has a huge indoor swimming pool. When our neighbor's son got home he asked his parents "Are we poor?"

My wife worked with the boy's father. The retold tale made a good story around the office.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by ThankYouJack » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:06 pm

theplayer11 wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:41 pm
I would never tell kids that we don't have to worry about money. Not sure what that would accomplish.
So you would want your kids to worry about money? I think a lot of people have anxiety over not having enough money. If you can remove the worries behind it, wouldn't that help eliminate the anxiety?

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by youngpleb » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:11 pm

I plan on teaching my future kids that daddy was thrifty and worked his butt off in school and at his job so he and mommy don’t have to worry about money anymore. I do plan on emphasizing that it is mom and dad’s money, and not theirs though. And that I hope they will follow the same principles I did.
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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by sawhorse » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:35 pm

I think it's important for kids to know that hard work is a usually necessary but absolutely insufficient requirement for wealth.

They need to know that if they want to have a chance at being wealthy then they have to work hard.

But they equally need to know that the janitor at school, the school bus driver, and the McDonald's worker very possibly work harder than any rich person that they know. The fact that they are poor is not due to lack of effort.

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Re: Teaching kids there is an ample amount of money

Post by GoldenFinch » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:44 pm

“I’m broke.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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