Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

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Faisal
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Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Faisal » Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:51 pm

So my wife got a job offer from a large mutli-national coporation. She wants the job and it will be both be a quality of life improvement - 10 min drive from our home meaning more time with our son and a financial benefit.

However we learned very recently that she is pregnant. Now we are not sure if we should tell the company that she is pregnant when accepting the offer she got today.

We both feel honesty is the best policy and if we mention it after she start it would be deceptive and dishonest and affect her rep at work.

However we are afraid we are shooting ourselves in the foot if after a 30 day probationary period they find any random excuse to let her go.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Apologies for typos using my crappy phone.

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dm200
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by dm200 » Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:54 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:51 pm
So my wife got a job offer from a large mutli-national coporation. She wants the job and it will be both be a quality of life improvement - 10 min drive from our home meaning more time with our son and a fininacial benefit.
However we learned very recently that she is pregnant. Now we are not sure if we should tell them company that she is pregnant when accepting the offer she got today.
We both feel honesty is the best policy and if we mention it after she start it would be deceptive and dishonest and affect her rep at work.
However we are afraid we are shooting ourselves in the foot if after a 30 day probationary period they find any random excuse to let her go.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Isn't the usual probationary period 90 days?

Would she return to full time work there soon (6-12 weeks) after the birth of the child?

What is or would be her employment situation if she did not accept the offer?

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tainted-meat
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by tainted-meat » Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:55 pm

If they didn’t ask, I wouldn’t tell.

If they did ask, they shouldn’t have.

Elysium
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Elysium » Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:58 pm

First, congratulations. There is absolutely no need for your wife to inform her employer, current or prospective, about her pregnancy. It is a personal detail between her and whoever she wish to share it with including family members notwithstanding cultural norms that may vary. When it comes to professional setting there is no question of honesty about not informing about pregnancy, unless her future job includes physical work that cannot be performed in her new condition. Employers cannot ask for that information, and they certainly have no right feel bad when they get to know eventually. As for letting her go with fake excuses, there are already plenty of labor laws they need to worry about that they need to cover before they consider letting go of a pregnant women. good luck.
Last edited by Elysium on Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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dm200
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by dm200 » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:01 pm

Elysium wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:58 pm
First, congratulations. There is absolutely no need for your wife to inform her employer, current or prospective, about her pregnency. It is a personal detail between her and whoever she wish to share it with including family members notwithstanding cultural norms that may vary. When it comes to professional setting there is no question of honesty about not informing about pregnency, unless her future job includes physical work that cannot be performed in her new condition. Employers cannot ask for that information, and they certainly have no right feel bad when they get to know eventually. As for letting her go with fake excuses, there are already plenty of labor laws they need to worry about that they need to cover before they consider letting go of a pregnent women. good luck.
Yes - especially since this is a large multi-national corporation.

SoAnyway
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by SoAnyway » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:08 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:51 pm
So my wife got a job offer from a large mutli-national coporation. She wants the job and it will be both be a quality of life improvement - 10 min drive from our home meaning more time with our son and a financial benefit.

However we learned very recently that she is pregnant. Now we are not sure if we should tell the company that she is pregnant when accepting the offer she got today.

We both feel honesty is the best policy and if we mention it after she start it would be deceptive and dishonest and affect her rep at work.

However we are afraid we are shooting ourselves in the foot if after a 30 day probationary period they find any random excuse to let her go.
Congrats to your wife, OP! Short answer: Say nothing. Longer answer: I understand your discomfort and concerns with that approach. Like you, I'd prefer to be straight up. But in this context in the business world, esp. megacorps, it is often the case (sadly) that "No good deed will go unpunished." Pregnancy discrimination is illegal, and yet it happens every day, e.g. to your point about "random excuses", the company can find some "pretext" to let her go. Manage the rep issues AFTER she's actually had the opportunity to establish a good one with her manager and peers - by doing a great job before they knew she's pregnant!

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dm200
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by dm200 » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:08 pm

The rules and employer practices about marriage, pregnancy, childbirth, etc. sure have changed over the decades since I first began full time employment out of college.

tarmangani
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by tarmangani » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:10 pm

She has rights. The company cannot find some "random excuse" to let her go after discovering her pregnancy. That's a pretextual reason for pregnancy discrimination, and if it happens you should immediately contact your anti-discrimination state agency and file a claim. Anti-discrimination hearing officers and judges are pretty skilled at ferreting out the real causes of adverse employment actions.

Elysium
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Elysium » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:15 pm

SoAnyway wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:08 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:51 pm
So my wife got a job offer from a large mutli-national coporation. She wants the job and it will be both be a quality of life improvement - 10 min drive from our home meaning more time with our son and a financial benefit.

However we learned very recently that she is pregnant. Now we are not sure if we should tell the company that she is pregnant when accepting the offer she got today.

We both feel honesty is the best policy and if we mention it after she start it would be deceptive and dishonest and affect her rep at work.

However we are afraid we are shooting ourselves in the foot if after a 30 day probationary period they find any random excuse to let her go.
Congrats to your wife, OP! Short answer: Say nothing. Longer answer: I understand your discomfort and concerns with that approach. Like you, I'd prefer to be straight up. But in this context in the business world, esp. megacorps, it is often the case (sadly) that "No good deed will go unpunished." Pregnancy discrimination is illegal, and yet it happens every day, e.g. to your point about "random excuses", the company can find some "pretext" to let her go. Manage the rep issues AFTER she's actually had the opportunity to establish a good one with her manager and peers - by doing a great job before they knew she's pregnant!
I have never heard of a multi-national mega corporation letting go of a pregnant women by finding excuses. It's just too much hassle for a big corporation to let go of even a regular employee for performance reasons, especially a single case, that requires detailed documentation from the manager and HR department that they seldom venture into this. They have the much easier staff reduction or re-org plan to let go of employees in batches which is called lay-offs. Mega corporations do not care too much about individual staff retention below senior level positions, such that they can hire and fire in bulk and avoid hassles with labor laws. Staff at that level, no matter how much high performing are expendable at mega-corps. Sad, but the reality.

Faisal
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Faisal » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:17 pm

My wife would take full maternity leave which is 12 weeks and then return to work full time. She did that with our 2 year old.

They didnt ask about her pregnancy but it will show in a few weeks.

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dm200
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by dm200 » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:21 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:17 pm
My wife would take full maternity leave which is 12 weeks and then return to work full time. She did that with our 2 year old.
They didnt ask about her pregnancy but it will show in a few weeks.
The sooner she starts the job - the better, in my opinion. I thought six weeks was the "normal" maternity leave duration?

Faisal
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Faisal » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:24 pm

She is starting as soon as she can but needs to complete work at her current job.

In our state its an additional 6 due to state regulations.

Elysium
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Elysium » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:28 pm

OP - here is what you need to understand. Pregnancy is recognized today as a normal part of a women's life and it is no longer a condition that prevents her from being a productive employee. Many women remain high performing employees during their pregnancy up to 1-2 weeks before delivery. The only exception is physical work that cannot be performed but is expected as terms of employment. Since you didn't mention that, whether it shows or not is nobodys concern, as she will be able to do her job normally. If you want an example, I think a former high profile internet company CEO was pregnant during one of those years during her tenue as CEO, and did not prevent her from doing anything. End of story.
Last edited by Elysium on Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

aceoperations
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by aceoperations » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:29 pm

My wife started her job while she was about 4-5 months pregnant with our second child. She did not have to by any means, but she discussed the fact that she will go on maternity should she get the job. She also made it clear that she intends to return to work. I do not believe that anything bad came out of that in hindsight. I don't think anything would have happened if she did not mention it either.

Faisal
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Faisal » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm

Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.

We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.

Would that be seen as a positive indication?

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dm200
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by dm200 » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:38 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm
Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.
We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.
Would that be seen as a positive indication?
Maybe. Perhaps, though, just complying with applicable laws and regulations.

Faisal
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Faisal » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:46 pm

dm200 wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:38 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm
Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.
We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.
Would that be seen as a positive indication?
Maybe. Perhaps, though, just complying with applicable laws and regulations.
But there are no laws on if we need to tell them :-p its more of a moral dilemma.

HEDGEFUNDIE
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by HEDGEFUNDIE » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:52 pm

OP you need to relax. In this day and age MegaCorps will be accommodating.

I just completed a 13 week paternity leave (only 10 months into the job); when I told my boss I was taking it I didn’t even frame it as a request.
Last edited by HEDGEFUNDIE on Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

SoAnyway
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by SoAnyway » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:53 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm
Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.

We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.

Would that be seen as a positive indication?
All the more reason not to say anything for those 30 days - assuming she won't be exposed to anything in her research that might be harmful to a fetus of course, e.g. toxic chemicals, etc. Re. some of the earlier posts, I agree that she has rights but there are plenty of megacorps that trample on them. I have seen plenty of instances of it. Hopefully, your wife's new employer is more like the one that hired aceoperations' wife and/or is such a rock star (like the CEO that Elysium referenced) that disclosure now wouldn't be an issue. But you can't count on that. Plan and act accordingly. Good luck!

SoAnyway
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by SoAnyway » Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:56 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:46 pm
dm200 wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:38 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm
Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.
We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.
Would that be seen as a positive indication?
Maybe. Perhaps, though, just complying with applicable laws and regulations.
But there are no laws on if we need to tell them :-p its more of a moral dilemma.
Correct, OP.

MathIsMyWayr
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by MathIsMyWayr » Mon Oct 22, 2018 6:20 pm

Beyond the applicable laws and regulations, isn't better to be up-front with anything normally unexpected?
Examples: After 6 month,
1. I plan to go on an African safari for a month.
2. I will go away for an army reserve deployment for a month.
3. I will go on a maternity leave for a month.
4. I need a surgery with a month-long recuperation.
5. I need a time off for a month to care for my parent.
When a company hires someone, they may have a definitive need for the help and the time frame. I don't think it is the best way to start a career by hitting them to scramble for an unexpected replacement soon if you know it is coming. I am just an employee, but I am trying to understand the other side. Just imagine you are hiring a baby sitter at your home. You find a good one and are finally relieved. And then...

drk
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by drk » Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:30 pm

MathIsMyWayr wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 6:20 pm
Beyond the applicable laws and regulations, isn't better to be up-front with anything normally unexpected?
Examples: After 6 month,
1. I plan to go on an African safari for a month.
2. I will go away for an army reserve deployment for a month.
3. I will go on a maternity leave for a month.
4. I need a surgery with a month-long recuperation.
5. I need a time off for a month to care for my parent.
Only the first one should be disclosed before starting a new job, and that's because it's really a negotiating point. The second one is safer because a Megacorp is going to be concerned about running afoul of Uncle Sam. The others are personal matters and covered by various leave policies.
MathIsMyWayr wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 6:20 pm
When a company hires someone, they may have a definitive need for the help and the time frame. I don't think it is the best way to start a career by hitting them to scramble for an unexpected replacement soon if you know it is coming. I am just an employee, but I am trying to understand the other side. Just imagine you are hiring a baby sitter at your home. You find a good one and are finally relieved. And then...
It's much easier to back-fill someone's role early in their employment than later. The organization has already been operating without the employee to that point, so the person's leave is less disruptive. It also likely has a collection of people who might be interested in a temporary position to fill in. Basically, your babysitter analogy doesn't work because the baby-sitter is a lynch-pin, which does not exist by design in a Megacorp.

tarmangani
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by tarmangani » Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:31 pm

Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm
Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.

We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.

Would that be seen as a positive indication?
What Elysium said above is correct. Most major companies don't mess around with accommodation requests or medical leaves. To them it is automatic. A not insignificant amount of their workforce is probably out on some sort of leave at any given time, you understand. Your wife will work, declare pregnancy and request leave, fill out paperwork, go on FMLA (maybe using any PTO if she's accrued any by then to receive pay) and then, god willing there are no complications, return to work about 12 weeks later. If she does have medical complications that could be interpreted as a disability/handicap, then the employer will engage in an interactive process to help her return to work and offer accommodations. The company is very practiced with this.

You have to worry about smaller companies that 1) have no HR specialists/counsel; 2) are under greater economic pressure to discriminate; 3) have generally no clue what they're doing.

I understand why you're worrying but she will be fine. IMO this is not a moral dilemma at all. Your wife's pregnancy is her business. To the analogy that this is like finding a babysitter, that is absurd. This is a megacorp.

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unclescrooge
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by unclescrooge » Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:39 pm

tainted-meat wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:55 pm
If they didn’t ask, I wouldn’t tell.

If they did ask, they shouldn’t have.
It's illegal to ask.

livesoft
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by livesoft » Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:07 pm

I've hired pregnant women and have had women get pregnant after I have hired them. It didn't matter to me nor to my company.

As the responses show, the feelings are all over the map, aren't they?
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setancre
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by setancre » Tue Oct 23, 2018 7:37 am

tarmangani wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:31 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:37 pm
Thank you all for your opinions and advise. She is working in the field of science and researcj so no real phyiscal activity beyond standard experiments.

We were reading through the benefits and it says anybody is eligible for maternity leave after they have completed 30 days of full time or part time salaried work.

Would that be seen as a positive indication?
What Elysium said above is correct. Most major companies don't mess around with accommodation requests or medical leaves. To them it is automatic. A not insignificant amount of their workforce is probably out on some sort of leave at any given time, you understand. Your wife will work, declare pregnancy and request leave, fill out paperwork, go on FMLA (maybe using any PTO if she's accrued any by then to receive pay) and then, god willing there are no complications, return to work about 12 weeks later. If she does have medical complications that could be interpreted as a disability/handicap, then the employer will engage in an interactive process to help her return to work and offer accommodations. The company is very practiced with this.

You have to worry about smaller companies that 1) have no HR specialists/counsel; 2) are under greater economic pressure to discriminate; 3) have generally no clue what they're doing.

I understand why you're worrying but she will be fine. IMO this is not a moral dilemma at all. Your wife's pregnancy is her business. To the analogy that this is like finding a babysitter, that is absurd. This is a megacorp.
One correction here, employees are not eligible for FMLA until 12 months after start date. Most companies will still offer maternity coverage under their own benefit policies, but there is no federal protection for the job beyond that.

OP, since your wife is currently pregnant and has yet to start in the position, obviously she will need coverage before the 12 months kick in. Please carefully review the companies own maternity leave policy and do not plan to rely on FMLA to protect her job for a full 12 weeks.

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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by TropikThunder » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:25 pm

setancre wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 7:37 am
One correction here, employees are not eligible for FMLA until 12 months after start date. Most companies will still offer maternity coverage under their own benefit policies, but there is no federal protection for the job beyond that.

OP, since your wife is currently pregnant and has yet to start in the position, obviously she will need coverage before the 12 months kick in. Please carefully review the companies own maternity leave policy and do not plan to rely on FMLA to protect her job for a full 12 weeks.
More info to confirm from DOL website:
ELIGIBLE EMPLOYEES
Only eligible employees are entitled to take FMLA leave. An eligible employee is one who:
• Works for a covered employer;
• Has worked for the employer for at least 12 months;
• Has at least 1,250 hours of service for the employer during the 12 month period immediately preceding the leave*; and
• Works at a location where the employer has at least 50 employees within 75 miles.
https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28.pdf

As stated, companies can offer maternity benefits earlier (30 days in OP’s spouse’s case) but the federal protections don’t start until later. Also, most state FMLA-type protections mimic the FMLA language (12 months tenure in Washington state for example). Different states may have different requirements.
https://www.lni.wa.gov/WorkplaceRights/ ... efault.asp

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midareff
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by midareff » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:46 pm

My understanding is they can not discriminate .. or would be subject to suit. I would be forthright. If it makes a difference get an attorney and go for early retirement money.

Thegame14
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Thegame14 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:49 pm

It also depends how far along she is. Most people don't tell anyone until the baby is 12-14 weeks and the doctor gives the ok to tell people. Also if she tells employer she is pregnant and then terminate her, there are laws to protect her.

I would probably not say anything. The only downside I can see is if there is a particularly busy period and if her maternity leave will be during that time. For example in my field of accounting we have a year end close which is the most important time of the year to be working, It would be tough on the company to hire someone knowing that is when they need them the most for them to turn around and be like by the way that project/time/thing you most need me to be here for, I will be out during that time. I can see how that may build some resentment.

runner540
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by runner540 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:55 pm

Elysium wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:15 pm
SoAnyway wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:08 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:51 pm
So my wife got a job offer from a large mutli-national coporation. She wants the job and it will be both be a quality of life improvement - 10 min drive from our home meaning more time with our son and a financial benefit.

However we learned very recently that she is pregnant. Now we are not sure if we should tell the company that she is pregnant when accepting the offer she got today.

We both feel honesty is the best policy and if we mention it after she start it would be deceptive and dishonest and affect her rep at work.

However we are afraid we are shooting ourselves in the foot if after a 30 day probationary period they find any random excuse to let her go.
Congrats to your wife, OP! Short answer: Say nothing. Longer answer: I understand your discomfort and concerns with that approach. Like you, I'd prefer to be straight up. But in this context in the business world, esp. megacorps, it is often the case (sadly) that "No good deed will go unpunished." Pregnancy discrimination is illegal, and yet it happens every day, e.g. to your point about "random excuses", the company can find some "pretext" to let her go. Manage the rep issues AFTER she's actually had the opportunity to establish a good one with her manager and peers - by doing a great job before they knew she's pregnant!
I have never heard of a multi-national mega corporation letting go of a pregnant women by finding excuses. It's just too much hassle for a big corporation to let go of even a regular employee for performance reasons, especially a single case, that requires detailed documentation from the manager and HR department that they seldom venture into this. They have the much easier staff reduction or re-org plan to let go of employees in batches which is called lay-offs. Mega corporations do not care too much about individual staff retention below senior level positions, such that they can hire and fire in bulk and avoid hassles with labor laws. Staff at that level, no matter how much high performing are expendable at mega-corps. Sad, but the reality.
You haven't heard of it because you haven't talked to enough women of 20's/30s age group; sadly it happens. If it is disputed, it rarely becomes public or goes to trial - many employment agreements and arbitration clauses that pervade our lives.

runner540
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by runner540 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:57 pm

dm200 wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:21 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:17 pm
My wife would take full maternity leave which is 12 weeks and then return to work full time. She did that with our 2 year old.
They didnt ask about her pregnancy but it will show in a few weeks.
The sooner she starts the job - the better, in my opinion. I thought six weeks was the "normal" maternity leave duration?
dm200, "normal" is 1 year in Canada. It's 6 months in many other developed countries. In the US, "normal" varies by industry. It's certainly not based on any "norms" or best practices for mom and baby.

Jack FFR1846
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:01 pm

Don't tell them nothin'.

And as far as a multi national corporation finding "random excuses" to get rid of her......they absolutely do. As someone who was pushed out of such a company because my age clicked over some arbitrary age where they no longer wanted me, I know for sure that they do have programs with carefully set up methods to force people to quit. In my case, I went from "walk on water" reviews and awards for top % in company for performance to literally in one week's time, unsatisfactory performance review and daily meetings with my supervisor as to why my performance wasn't good enough. Each thing they made up that wasn't up to par, I immediately addressed. They simply went on to the next thing on their made up excuse list. After I found another job and exited, I found through networking that many, many former employees were pushed out using the exact same tactics with some of the silliest excuses I ever heard. One was told he inadequately anticipated adverse conditions at one of his customers. I guess they were dinging him on his batteries dieing in his crystal ball.
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dm200
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by dm200 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:02 pm

runner540 wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:57 pm
dm200 wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:21 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:17 pm
My wife would take full maternity leave which is 12 weeks and then return to work full time. She did that with our 2 year old.
They didnt ask about her pregnancy but it will show in a few weeks.
The sooner she starts the job - the better, in my opinion. I thought six weeks was the "normal" maternity leave duration?
dm200, "normal" is 1 year in Canada. It's 6 months in many other developed countries. In the US, "normal" varies by industry. It's certainly not based on any "norms" or best practices for mom and baby.
No personal experience - wife and I adopted.

My understanding is that 6 weeks is the medical "normal" or most common relating to the physical health of the mother.

grkmec
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by grkmec » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:03 pm

We can sit here and quote laws all day until we are blue in the face... The OP has already framed this as a moral dilemma.

To me this is simple - follow the golden rule: "Treat others how you want to be treated."

So OP, if you were hiring manager, would you want a courtesy, heads up?

DoTheMath
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Re: Need Advise: Offer from new job shoulf my wife tell them she is pregnant?

Post by DoTheMath » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:58 pm

runner540 wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:57 pm
dm200 wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:21 pm
Faisal wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:17 pm
My wife would take full maternity leave which is 12 weeks and then return to work full time. She did that with our 2 year old.
They didnt ask about her pregnancy but it will show in a few weeks.
The sooner she starts the job - the better, in my opinion. I thought six weeks was the "normal" maternity leave duration?
dm200, "normal" is 1 year in Canada. It's 6 months in many other developed countries. In the US, "normal" varies by industry. It's certainly not based on any "norms" or best practices for mom and baby.

Indeed! In Sweden the parents (not just the mother!) are collectively allocated 480 days of paid leave per child, which they can take any time until the child is 8 years old. In the US, federal law requires an employer allow the mother to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Which puts it in the small club of countries (like Papua New Guinea) which don't have paid leave.

As others have said, for a large company family and medical leave is an expected expense and I wouldn't be worried about it. I wouldn't tell them before starting the job, but I wouldn't hesitate to start discussions about it when you need to start planning for it.
“I am losing precious days. I am degenerating into a machine for making money. I am learning nothing in this trivial world of men. I must break away and get out into the mountains...” -- John Muir

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