Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm

This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.

delamer
Posts: 6410
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:13 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by delamer » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:09 pm

No direct experience, but I would do it as quickly as possible by phone or e-mail.

madmartigan
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:11 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by madmartigan » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:11 pm

As a manager, I would want to know as soon as possible. An email to the recruiter or manager is sufficient. I have a short list of people who have done this to me before, needless to say I would not hire again nor recommend them within my network.

dknightd
Posts: 1038
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:57 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by dknightd » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:12 pm

You are essentially in a bidding war. Choose what makes you happy

JBTX
Posts: 4262
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 12:46 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JBTX » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:12 pm

Personally I would call. I'd apologize for the inconvenience you may have caused but say you have to do what is in you and your families best interest and have decided to stay with your current employer. I'd thank them for their time and the say that you are greatly appreciative of the opportunity. That's it.

Follow it up with a letter if you want to reinforce it.

I'm not sure I'd schedule a face to face. Maybe they will respect it, but maybe they'll think you are wasting their time. Would you prefer a follow up interview of a job to be told that you didn't get the job?

dknightd
Posts: 1038
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:57 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by dknightd » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:15 pm

JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is not that thread.
Yes it is. What makes it different?

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:29 pm

madmartigan wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:11 pm
As a manager, I would want to know as soon as possible. An email to the recruiter or manager is sufficient. I have a short list of people who have done this to me before, needless to say I would not hire again nor recommend them within my network.
Your last point is certainly one viewpoint, and I’m prepared for it to be the case. I think that perspective is a little short sighted but I understand it.

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:30 pm

dknightd wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:15 pm
JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is not that thread.
Yes it is. What makes it different?
I’m not debating whether to take he counter offer or not. I’ve decided.

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:32 pm

dknightd wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:12 pm
You are essentially in a bidding war. Choose what makes you happy
I’m not. I’m not going to get a counter from the new company. They are the biggest player in the industry and will not beg to get me. They will move on. I’ve chosen and I do hope it makes me happy.

The question was more around how to tell the new company.

JuniorBH
Posts: 96
Joined: Fri Jun 09, 2017 12:54 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JuniorBH » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:35 pm

JBTX wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:12 pm
Personally I would call. I'd apologize for the inconvenience you may have caused but say you have to do what is in you and your families best interest and have decided to stay with your current employer. I'd thank them for their time and the say that you are greatly appreciative of the opportunity. That's it.
+1 on this. Recently changed jobs myself and was very close to accepting a counter from my previous employer. The above is exactly how I would have handled it, had I accepted the counter. Scheduling a face to face seems like the "classy" thing to do, but it just prolongs things and, frankly, wastes more time. Phone call is sufficient.

The only other piece of advice I'd have is to keep it brief and don't try to convince them why accepting the counter is the right decision; you're making the best decision for you and your family and that's all they really need to know. The bridge might be burned, but if it is, there was no way to avoid it.

Afty
Posts: 846
Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 5:31 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by Afty » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:39 pm

However you handle this, you're likely to burn a bridge. I would keep it brief and not elaborate on the reasons. You're not going to convince them anyway.

yohac
Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:42 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by yohac » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:41 pm

A polite, timely phone call is all that is needed. No approach will save the bridge. When this happened at our company, HR and the hiring execs used phrases like "she's dead to me" or "she-who-will-not-be-named."

dknightd
Posts: 1038
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:57 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by dknightd » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:44 pm

JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:32 pm
dknightd wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:12 pm
You are essentially in a bidding war. Choose what makes you happy
I’m not. I’m not going to get a counter from the new company. They are the biggest player in the industry and will not beg to get me. They will move on. I’ve chosen and I do hope it makes me happy.

The question was more around how to tell the new company.
Just tell them the offer was not enough to entice you to move. Be honest, your existing employer made it worthwhile for you to stay. Tell them thanks for the offer.

N10sive
Posts: 606
Joined: Thu May 05, 2016 6:22 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by N10sive » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:44 pm

I declined an offer because of scheduling and called back asking if I would like the job if a different schedule opened up. I said yes. Hiring manager opened up a new position and asked me if I still wanted the job.

Unfortunately I had to tell him no because of a better offer at the current job I had, roughly a 25% pay raise. I did not burn any bridges as they would like me to still come over. I declined the second chance immediately over email and had a brief explanation. YMMV.

tim1999
Posts: 3514
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:16 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by tim1999 » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:56 pm

yohac wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:41 pm
A polite, timely phone call is all that is needed. No approach will save the bridge. When this happened at our company, HR and the hiring execs used phrases like "she's dead to me" or "she-who-will-not-be-named."
I'm happy that the current tight market for many highly skilled/specialized positions is finally putting some of these arrogant HR types in their place. For some hard-to-fill positions, it is now THEY who aren't really in a position to burn a bridge with an in-demand worker. It's a two-way street and many don't get that now after many years of "you should be grateful we offered you a job" type attitudes.

BeneIRA
Posts: 506
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 8:43 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by BeneIRA » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:01 pm

The bridge is almost definitely burned no matter what you say or do unless you have a good relationship with this new would-be manager. We actually just had this happen to us in the summer. Someone interviewed, was offered the position, they accepted our offer, and they took their company's counter. They are blacklisted with us now. It doesn't matter if it is in person or phone. The key is to do it as fast as possible, as in, tomorrow morning or afternoon if you can. Keep it short and sweet, wish them luck and hope you aren't blacklisted by them although outside of a personal relationship you have with people there who could get you back in, you will probably never work for them.

User avatar
greg24
Posts: 3304
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 10:34 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by greg24 » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:16 pm

A phone call as soon as possible. In-person would be tough and awkward.

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:17 pm

BeneIRA wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:01 pm
The bridge is almost definitely burned no matter what you say or do unless you have a good relationship with this new would-be manager. We actually just had this happen to us in the summer. Someone interviewed, was offered the position, they accepted our offer, and they took their company's counter. They are blacklisted with us now. It doesn't matter if it is in person or phone. The key is to do it as fast as possible, as in, tomorrow morning or afternoon if you can. Keep it short and sweet, wish them luck and hope you aren't blacklisted by them although outside of a personal relationship you have with people there who could get you back in, you will probably never work for them.
If I had a personal relationship I probably would have gone over. That was part of what kept me at the current employer, among other factors.

MnD
Posts: 3805
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:41 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by MnD » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:17 pm

Phone call. You didn't know what the counter was until you gave notice so tough luck for the other company but oh well. If you are good you may not be blacklisted now that employers don't hold all the cards. Same thing with interviewing at multiple employers, accepting a position from company A and then next day getting a much better offer from company B. Stuff happens. When companies experience unforeseen changes they don't hesitate to rescind previously made firm hiring offers. Happens in the energy business all the time.

BeneIRA
Posts: 506
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 8:43 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by BeneIRA » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:23 pm

JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:17 pm
BeneIRA wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:01 pm
The bridge is almost definitely burned no matter what you say or do unless you have a good relationship with this new would-be manager. We actually just had this happen to us in the summer. Someone interviewed, was offered the position, they accepted our offer, and they took their company's counter. They are blacklisted with us now. It doesn't matter if it is in person or phone. The key is to do it as fast as possible, as in, tomorrow morning or afternoon if you can. Keep it short and sweet, wish them luck and hope you aren't blacklisted by them although outside of a personal relationship you have with people there who could get you back in, you will probably never work for them.
If I had a personal relationship I probably would have gone over. That was part of what kept me at the current employer, among other factors.
That's what I suspected. So you can go into the call with the would-be manager stress free because what you say is probably irrelevant. Just make the call tomorrow and keep it as light as possible. Best of luck.

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:31 am

Appreciate the perspectives and advice. Logistics of doing this in person were challenging and I agree it could be very awkward. I will phone today right after I have communicated to necessary parties internally and signed the counter offer.

Spirit Rider
Posts: 9168
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 2:39 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by Spirit Rider » Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:53 am

I have known several occasions when employers have recinded job offers after the individual gave their notice.

One time a good colleague of mine had a job offer recinded the Friday before the week he was due to start. Lucky for him, he was valuable and the company we were at still gave him the counter offer he had declined.

Another time my company did this to an individual who was due to start the first day back from their honeymoon. Talk about a gut punch. This so outraged many employees, that it caused some employees to leave shortly thereafter.

To say this will burn bridges is an overstatement. Maybe that is true of small-minded individuals and organizations, but adult professionals understand that these things happen on both sides. They will appreciate an early heads up and move on.

daheld
Posts: 363
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:14 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by daheld » Thu Oct 18, 2018 7:26 am

I think the method of breaking the news depends on what level of manager your boss-to-be is. Are they an executive with very little time? If so, I would send an email or make a phone call. Not wasting their time is important. If, however, your boss-to-be is a middle manager, I think there's some rationale for scheduling a face-to-face. Though your reasoning for rescinding your acceptance really isn't their business, I think being able to show them that you are genuinely not a flake (hopefully you're not), and this was just the best decision for you and your family. I think that personal touch could be important, especially if there's even a remote chance you might work for that person or their company in the future.

ArchibaldGraham
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:11 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by ArchibaldGraham » Thu Oct 18, 2018 7:58 am

I would not say the advice on here is all wrong, but I do think it really does depend on your situation and it could be a little outdated. It is not necessarily as simple as to say you have nuked the bridge by going back on an offer.

I relatively recently accepted an offer (admittedly prematurely) and then went back on that after getting a better offer to stay put. I was polite and prompt in letting them know, and explained my rationale which had multiple components to the (internal) recruiter over the phone. Recruiter was understandably not thrilled, but said it was not uncommon and that they do hire folks like me in the future so asked that I stay in touch and reach out if I changed my mind. Company that I bailed on has reached out since asking if I was interested in considering roles again. Of course, it is not ideal from their perspective, but if you articulate a logical reason for going in a different direction, it is possible that they will still want you just as much. Potentially they may even want you more if you are getting a better offer as it signals that you are top talent (otherwise your employer would not try to retain you).

That said, you very well could just have burned any bridges and it may not matter.

User avatar
Watty
Posts: 14607
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 3:55 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by Watty » Thu Oct 18, 2018 8:51 am

I have seen the situation where a recent college graduate took a job they committed to out of a sense of obligation even though they got a much better job offer. They were of course not happy in that job and were not very good at it and they ended up leaving within about 18 months and most of that time was just bringing them up to speed. They may not like it but you are not doing the employer a favor by taking a job you will not be happy in.

Salaries are often set by people in the HR department and the manager might know that the position deserves a higher salary. By declining the position that might also give the manager some clout with the HR department to increase the salary range of that position.
Spirit Rider wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:53 am
I have known several occasions when employers have recinded job offers after the individual gave their notice.
+1

Or substantially changed the job and the new employee does not find out about that until they show up for their first day of work.

Part of how badly any bridges are burned depends on the level of the position. I have seen situations where the person became "the one that got away" and a few years later they were hired in at a higher position.

For many jobs the people you are dealing with at the new company will not be around in five years anyway.

MP173
Posts: 1937
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:03 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by MP173 » Thu Oct 18, 2018 9:48 am

notify them and move on....quickly.

The company would not hesitate to cut your position if it were in their best interest.

My son went thru this several years ago...interviewed, hired, and worked for 6 weeks along with 25 others recent college grads, then 50% were eliminated. No remorse on their part.

Gradle to grave job security and loyalty is over.

RudyS
Posts: 1363
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 10:11 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by RudyS » Thu Oct 18, 2018 9:56 am

Spirit Rider wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:53 am
I have known several occasions when employers have recinded job offers after the individual gave their notice.

One time a good colleague of mine had a job offer recinded the Friday before the week he was due to start. Lucky for him, he was valuable and the company we were at still gave him the counter offer he had declined.

Another time my company did this to an individual who was due to start the first day back from their honeymoon. Talk about a gut punch. This so outraged many employees, that it caused some employees to leave shortly thereafter.

To say this will burn bridges is an overstatement. Maybe that is true of small-minded individuals and organizations, but adult professionals understand that these things happen on both sides. They will appreciate an early heads up and move on.
Agree with all that. This is a 2-way street. In 1958 North American Aviation hired a bunch of summer interns, then terminated them all in the middle of the summer. Many were counting on the money for college. NA's name was MUD on campuses for years. Some of those were classmates of mine. Luckily my job was with Boeing. I DO have a long memory!

Jack FFR1846
Posts: 8099
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2013 7:05 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Thu Oct 18, 2018 10:04 am

I did this one time. I called as soon as possible and told them that I'm very sorry but I've decided to stay with the old job. I expected it would burn the bridge but that company has pretty much spun into the toilet.

The other near match, I pursued a job very hard, looking to get out of a bad situation. I used a contact who I used to work with, went through interviews and got the offer. I was replacing a long time employee who was waiting for a suitable replacement before retiring. At the point where I was made the offer, he assumed I'd take it and left for retirement. I received a call for a job I had been accepted for a year earlier but a company hiring freeze stopped the actual hiring. This job was more of what I was looking for. I told the company who made the offer exactly what happened. They were not happy but as it turned out, I would become a key person at one of their big customers, so they accepted it.

Both cases, I simply told them exactly why I wasn't going to be joining them.
Bogle: Smart Beta is stupid

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:05 am

Just called to rescind. It was a professional conversation, and when he asked, I explained in detail how it happened and why I made the decision I did. My (no longer) to-be manager was cordial over the phone, wished me luck and said to stay in touch (it's a small industry and our paths will certainly cross). We'll see what the future brings.

I appreciate the perspectives given here.

edge
Posts: 3335
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2007 7:44 pm
Location: Great Falls VA

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by edge » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:06 am

By accepting the counter you are going to work hard to be re-accepted by your current company.

I would never accept a counter.

JordanIB
Posts: 305
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by JordanIB » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:11 am

edge wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:06 am
By accepting the counter you are going to work hard to be re-accepted by your current company.

I would never accept a counter.
I get what you're saying and I'm prepared for that. Bottom line is I'm always going to work hard to be accepted and prove myself to an employer.

User avatar
8foot7
Posts: 866
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2015 7:29 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by 8foot7 » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:38 am

I suspect if the place you're declining is a place that would consider this a bridge-burner, then it is a bridge-burner whether you call, e-mail, or do it face to face. All you can do is make the best decision for you with the information you have. Good luck. :sharebeer

Quantumfizz
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:26 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by Quantumfizz » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:57 am

I would call via phone, but not feel bad at all. You always have to look out for yourself. Companies exist to made money, not to help you. Always take your best option.

EddyB
Posts: 564
Joined: Fri May 24, 2013 3:43 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by EddyB » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:59 am

edge wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:06 am
By accepting the counter you are going to work hard to be re-accepted by your current company.

I would never accept a counter.
Not at all consistent with my experience (both for myself and others); it was all just "business as usual."

gotester2000
Posts: 596
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:59 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by gotester2000 » Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:51 pm

JordanIB wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:11 am
edge wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:06 am
By accepting the counter you are going to work hard to be re-accepted by your current company.

I would never accept a counter.
I get what you're saying and I'm prepared for that. Bottom line is I'm always going to work hard to be accepted and prove myself to an employer.
The employer only cares about you till you fit his needs. Never hesitate to change jobs if it benefits you largely - be loyal to yourself first.
The blacklist/burning bridge is a myth - when they are desperate they will not look at these small things and so wont you.

inbox788
Posts: 5693
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:24 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by inbox788 » Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:49 pm

ArchibaldGraham wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 7:58 am
That said, you very well could just have burned any bridges and it may not matter.
OP may appear to be a mercenary to both companies. War will be fought, bridges will be blown up, bridges will be rebuilt, alliances change.
This is the story of the battle for Castle Itter where Americans and Germans fought together against Waffen-SS, on 5th May, 1945, setting free French prisoners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgTOoX45O0Q

KyleAAA
Posts: 6801
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:35 pm
Contact:

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by KyleAAA » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:11 pm

This kind of thing happens. Be gracious and you’re unlikely to burn a bridge.

go_mets
Posts: 296
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:49 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by go_mets » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:19 am

tim1999 wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:56 pm
I'm happy that the current tight market for many highly skilled/specialized positions is finally putting some of these arrogant HR types in their place.
I am highly skilled, but I haven't found the current job market to be "tight".

Many of the technical companies near me are hiring "interns" or those with 0-5 years experience.

.

MichCPA
Posts: 309
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:06 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by MichCPA » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:24 am

Afty wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:39 pm
However you handle this, you're likely to burn a bridge. I would keep it brief and not elaborate on the reasons. You're not going to convince them anyway.
+ All the points, you aren't ever going to be considered for employment by anyone from that place again. Just keep it quick.

michaeljc70
Posts: 3901
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by michaeljc70 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:29 am

go_mets wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:19 am
tim1999 wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:56 pm
I'm happy that the current tight market for many highly skilled/specialized positions is finally putting some of these arrogant HR types in their place.
I am highly skilled, but I haven't found the current job market to be "tight".

Many of the technical companies near me are hiring "interns" or those with 0-5 years experience.

.
I've made the argument that there are a lot of open jobs because they aren't paying enough. Pay enough and you will get people. Supply/demand.
Last edited by michaeljc70 on Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

michaeljc70
Posts: 3901
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by michaeljc70 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:31 am

I would explain that you received a counteroffer after you accepted their offer and decided it was better for you to stay at your current company. I would apologize and thank them for the opportunity. I would do this ASAP. I would not worry about doing it in person unless you previously knew the person hiring you.

yohac
Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:42 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by yohac » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:53 am

Exceptions are always possible, but HR generally goes by "once burned, twice shy". From their perspective, a sincere applicant who received an unexpected counteroffer (like the OP) is indistinguishable from someone who intentionally wasted their time just to get leverage to pressure their current employer for a raise.

letsgobobby
Posts: 11682
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 1:10 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by letsgobobby » Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:03 am

JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.
Overthinking. Just call and tell your contact. I rescinded an acceptance at one point. It required an awkward but short conversation. I just said wife changed her mind and didn't want to live in X city, which was true. End of story. Took like three minutes. Never had a second thought.

On the hiring side I know no candidate is officially hired til they show up for their first day of work.

staythecourse
Posts: 6208
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by staythecourse » Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:12 am

JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.
Say whatever you want it won't make a difference. I am assuming you were supposed to start as soon as you left this job so basically you are dropping out of job at that alter. in NO WAY outside of death is it going to look any different then you got a better offer. No problem. You will burn bridges with that company. No way around it. Your word should mean something or not based on your actions. Just tell them you chose to stay and will not be starting with them as you agreed to in the first place.

I would say I am not a big fan if you pushed your current company to ante up to keep you as they know you will again bolt when a better opportunity comes along again. When it comes to making cuts down the road don't be surprised if you are on that short list. You played your hand that you will leave if you don't get the renumeration (my guess this is what the issue was) and now your current bosses know that.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

Hoosierdom
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon May 08, 2017 6:06 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by Hoosierdom » Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:23 am

staythecourse wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:12 am
JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.
Say whatever you want it won't make a difference. I am assuming you were supposed to start as soon as you left this job so basically you are dropping out of job at that alter. in NO WAY outside of death is it going to look any different then you got a better offer. No problem. You will burn bridges with that company. No way around it. Your word should mean something or not based on your actions. Just tell them you chose to stay and will not be starting with them as you agreed to in the first place.

I would say I am not a big fan if you pushed your current company to ante up to keep you as they know you will again bolt when a better opportunity comes along again. When it comes to making cuts down the road don't be surprised if you are on that short list. You played your hand that you will leave if you don't get the renumeration (my guess this is what the issue was) and now your current bosses know that.

Good luck.
I'm quite confused by some of the reactions here. Is the bolded above not the explicit understanding of any employment situation: employees are there for the money, if they can get more money they will take it.

michaeljc70
Posts: 3901
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by michaeljc70 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:49 am

There is a chance that a bridge will be burned either way. If OP didn't accept the counteroffer, that bridge to the current company could be gone. If he accepted the counter (which he did), the bridge to the new company could be gone. However, you never know. Big companies have people do this all the time. They even have people not call and just not show up on their first day. If you handle it professionally, they may not hold doing what is in your best interest against you.
Last edited by michaeljc70 on Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

staythecourse
Posts: 6208
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by staythecourse » Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:17 am

Hoosierdom wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:23 am
staythecourse wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:12 am
JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.
Say whatever you want it won't make a difference. I am assuming you were supposed to start as soon as you left this job so basically you are dropping out of job at that alter. in NO WAY outside of death is it going to look any different then you got a better offer. No problem. You will burn bridges with that company. No way around it. Your word should mean something or not based on your actions. Just tell them you chose to stay and will not be starting with them as you agreed to in the first place.

I would say I am not a big fan if you pushed your current company to ante up to keep you as they know you will again bolt when a better opportunity comes along again. When it comes to making cuts down the road don't be surprised if you are on that short list. You played your hand that you will leave if you don't get the renumeration (my guess this is what the issue was) and now your current bosses know that.

Good luck.
I'm quite confused by some of the reactions here. Is the bolded above not the explicit understanding of any employment situation: employees are there for the money, if they can get more money they will take it.
There is nothing wrong with going for money. But I run my own practice and can tell you once you know that money trumps all else in the employee's mind I already start thinking about hiring to replace the person. It is only a matter of time that individual will go for some greener ($$) pasture somewhere else and you don't want to be scrambling. Also, if an employee is deemed important then it is not much of an issue to find an compromise on salary so it doesn't get to the point of the person looking for another job. If it did then the person is not a major cog in the productivity of the company and is replaceable. It hurts to hear as an employee but nearly EVERYONE Is replaceable.

Not everyone goes for the money. My nanny was underpaid CONSIDERABLY by us and turned down many offers to stay with us as she liked other aspects of the job. I can tell you we were as loyal to her as she was to us. If it is all about money that is fine, but then don't expect loyalty either way. The employer will eventually find someone to replace you at the previous salary you were being paid (more profit for the company) OR work you harder to justify the paycheck.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

michaeljc70
Posts: 3901
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by michaeljc70 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:51 am

staythecourse wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:17 am
Hoosierdom wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:23 am
staythecourse wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:12 am
JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.
Say whatever you want it won't make a difference. I am assuming you were supposed to start as soon as you left this job so basically you are dropping out of job at that alter. in NO WAY outside of death is it going to look any different then you got a better offer. No problem. You will burn bridges with that company. No way around it. Your word should mean something or not based on your actions. Just tell them you chose to stay and will not be starting with them as you agreed to in the first place.

I would say I am not a big fan if you pushed your current company to ante up to keep you as they know you will again bolt when a better opportunity comes along again. When it comes to making cuts down the road don't be surprised if you are on that short list. You played your hand that you will leave if you don't get the renumeration (my guess this is what the issue was) and now your current bosses know that.

Good luck.
I'm quite confused by some of the reactions here. Is the bolded above not the explicit understanding of any employment situation: employees are there for the money, if they can get more money they will take it.
There is nothing wrong with going for money. But I run my own practice and can tell you once you know that money trumps all else in the employee's mind I already start thinking about hiring to replace the person. It is only a matter of time that individual will go for some greener ($$) pasture somewhere else and you don't want to be scrambling. Also, if an employee is deemed important then it is not much of an issue to find an compromise on salary so it doesn't get to the point of the person looking for another job. If it did then the person is not a major cog in the productivity of the company and is replaceable. It hurts to hear as an employee but nearly EVERYONE Is replaceable.

Not everyone goes for the money. My nanny was underpaid CONSIDERABLY by us and turned down many offers to stay with us as she liked other aspects of the job. I can tell you we were as loyal to her as she was to us. If it is all about money that is fine, but then don't expect loyalty either way. The employer will eventually find someone to replace you at the previous salary you were being paid (more profit for the company) OR work you harder to justify the paycheck.

Good luck.
Though I don't disagree with you, the case could be made that the employee was underpaid. Presumably since someone else offered them more money, that is the market rate. Often employees are only able to get increases to get to the market rate by switching jobs or actually getting a new one and getting a counteroffer. From what I've seen, the longer the employee has been there, the more room for being out of whack from the market.

Most people I know work for money, not because they have nothing else to do. It pays the bills. Though numerous factors go into a job decision, you cannot pay the bills with camaraderie, a nice office, etc.

staythecourse
Posts: 6208
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by staythecourse » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:58 pm

michaeljc70 wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:51 am
staythecourse wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:17 am
Hoosierdom wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:23 am
staythecourse wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:12 am
JordanIB wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:02 pm
This is a question as to advice on the best best approach to rescinding an acceptance of a job offer. I know there is a lot of debate on taking a counter offer and whether or not one should rescind an acceptance of a new job. This is not that thread.

I have decided to accept a counter offer to remain at my company. I accepted the other job first week of October. I provided 2 weeks notice 2nd week of October (had to wait for manager to return the office) and my last day was scheduled to be next week with my starting at the new company the next day.

I have been provided a range of advice from “say as little as possible; just tell them new information arose and I realized I made the wrong decision for myself; details aren’t relevant” to “you will burn a bridge but if you explain logically the reasons for rescinding then good people will understand and get over it after a while”.

I will endeavor to do this in person although time is running short and I’m not sure if schedules will align. I also suspect my to-be manager will know what’s up when I ask to meet in person since we have only seen each other in person twice. If I can’t do it in person I will do it by phone.

Any advice from anybody who has been through this before? Either as employee or employer? Obviously it’s a nerve wracking thing and a difficult thing for someone with a moral compass to do, but I feel confident this is the best decision for me.
Say whatever you want it won't make a difference. I am assuming you were supposed to start as soon as you left this job so basically you are dropping out of job at that alter. in NO WAY outside of death is it going to look any different then you got a better offer. No problem. You will burn bridges with that company. No way around it. Your word should mean something or not based on your actions. Just tell them you chose to stay and will not be starting with them as you agreed to in the first place.

I would say I am not a big fan if you pushed your current company to ante up to keep you as they know you will again bolt when a better opportunity comes along again. When it comes to making cuts down the road don't be surprised if you are on that short list. You played your hand that you will leave if you don't get the renumeration (my guess this is what the issue was) and now your current bosses know that.

Good luck.
I'm quite confused by some of the reactions here. Is the bolded above not the explicit understanding of any employment situation: employees are there for the money, if they can get more money they will take it.
There is nothing wrong with going for money. But I run my own practice and can tell you once you know that money trumps all else in the employee's mind I already start thinking about hiring to replace the person. It is only a matter of time that individual will go for some greener ($$) pasture somewhere else and you don't want to be scrambling. Also, if an employee is deemed important then it is not much of an issue to find an compromise on salary so it doesn't get to the point of the person looking for another job. If it did then the person is not a major cog in the productivity of the company and is replaceable. It hurts to hear as an employee but nearly EVERYONE Is replaceable.

Not everyone goes for the money. My nanny was underpaid CONSIDERABLY by us and turned down many offers to stay with us as she liked other aspects of the job. I can tell you we were as loyal to her as she was to us. If it is all about money that is fine, but then don't expect loyalty either way. The employer will eventually find someone to replace you at the previous salary you were being paid (more profit for the company) OR work you harder to justify the paycheck.

Good luck.
Though I don't disagree with you, the case could be made that the employee was underpaid. Presumably since someone else offered them more money, that is the market rate. Often employees are only able to get increases to get to the market rate by switching jobs or actually getting a new one and getting a counteroffer. From what I've seen, the longer the employee has been there, the more room for being out of whack from the market.

Most people I know work for money, not because they have nothing else to do. It pays the bills. Though numerous factors go into a job decision, you cannot pay the bills with camaraderie, a nice office, etc.
I agree 100% with your post. It doesn't change the perception of the boss though. In many situations it is like you are cornering the company to give you a raise. I have ALWAYS advocated to folks meet the boss and tell them why you think you deserve more money and if they disagree ask what metrics you would need to achieve a raise. IF they blow you off then they are not serious about you being a long term employee and to go find a better offer and THEN TAKE IT. If you current employment does not see you as an asset in the future to want to retain you that is worse to me then not getting market rate pay as it is a sign you are a dispensable member of the company. Not good when layoffs start.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

User avatar
beyou
Posts: 2094
Joined: Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:57 pm
Location: Northeastern US

Re: Approach to rescinding a job acceptance

Post by beyou » Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:57 pm

After 3 decades of work, having sat on both sides of this, I say a polite email thanking them. Sharing a reason depends on your reason, but for $ that is useful info to the hiring manager. Personal reasons like commute, that you knew from day one, would keep that to myself.

Note employers don’t apologize for layoffs, lack of raises, reduced benefits. You owe them nothing until you start.

Post Reply