Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
sksbog
Posts: 208
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by sksbog » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:11 pm

BetaMax wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:10 pm
My credit went from near perfect to mid 600s due to my divorce. I was awarded all of my ex-wife's credit card debt she racked up while we were separated. What is the best all around credit card I can transfer the balances to as I work to repair my credit?

In a perfect world, I'd prefer the card have

*at least 0% interest on balance transfers
*rewards for travel or cash back
*look freaking cool
*works with Personal Capital

Thank you for all your help!

Two or three months ago, money magazine has an article about best credit cards for different lifestyles.
Go to your local library and look it up.

The Wizard
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Location: Reading, MA

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by The Wizard » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm

8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
Attempted new signature...

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Mlm
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by Mlm » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:44 pm

The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
Been there and never experienced "the nuclear bomb" It was just an event, not negative or positive
divorced in 1998 after 23 years married
Split 50/50
Worked it out ourselves. Why would we need lawyers to figure it out.
Minimal use of Attorneys just for legal review

The Wizard
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Location: Reading, MA

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by The Wizard » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:52 pm

Mlm wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:44 pm
The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
Been there and never experienced "the nuclear bomb" It was just an event, not negative or positive
divorced in 1998 after 23 years married
Split 50/50
Worked it out ourselves. Why would we need lawyers to figure it out.
Minimal use of Attorneys just for legal review
Same with me, a Mediated divorce, no lawyers.

Unsure how this factors into the OP's situation but if you have big legal bills on top of normal expenses and existing CC debt, yeah, it's gonna be rough...
Attempted new signature...

JGoneRiding
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by JGoneRiding » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:53 pm

It might be really tough to get a card with that score. I always start with slate then capital one then citi. Boa had one for a little while but thibk it stopped

2015
Posts: 1992
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by 2015 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 11:54 am

grokzilla wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 3:08 pm
Loik098 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:57 am
LiterallyIronic wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:28 am


The divorce rate in the US is actually plummeting and it's largely being attributed to the Gen X and Millennial generations simply getting married later in life when they are more educated and established -- professionally, financially, emotionally/maturity, etc. Further, the rate of the decrease in the divorce rate is increasing.

It's been all over the news for the last month.

The only thing preventing the rate from decreasing faster is the incredibly high divorce rate amongst those 65 and older. The Boomers have really struggled in this regard for their entire lives. There is no indication that the divorce rate will increase with the younger generations as they age...their trend lines are already different from the boom generation -- only time will tell where they land.
Some people are meant for marriage and others aren't. Some people need all that companionship stuff and with its attendant tumui while others, like me, would get a cat, a stuffed cat, and put it in the corner in the living room and maybe look at it for a second or two the one or two times a year they might get "lonely" (run on sentence intentional).

Someone spoke of being jaded above. Please allow me to "out jade" (my new phrase). You couldn't pay me to be married. I can't imagine anything more hellish than being over the age of 50 and going through a divorce--financially, emotionally, psychologically. Would anyone in their right mind invest their portfolio in anything with such a high failure rate? Humans are 100% emotional creatures. This makes for extremely poor decision making. Ah...but it is romantic.

One of the reasons I am in paradise right now is because I am beholden to no one. Deep in the pool of lifestyle design, I've jettisoned anything that either doesn't work or is known to not work (more often than not). Sure I have relationships. Very Deep ones. They're just not entangled in ways that I could come to regret.

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8foot7
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by 8foot7 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:11 pm

The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
You lost 50% of your assets. How is that not a nuclear bomb? I mean, I’m glad you’re positive about everything.

The Wizard
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Location: Reading, MA

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by The Wizard » Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:20 pm

8foot7 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:11 pm
The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm

Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
You lost 50% of your assets. How is that not a nuclear bomb? I mean, I’m glad you’re positive about everything.
They weren't *my* assets, you see?
That's an early understanding that folks need to get in the early part of a breakup.

In fact, as a two-income married couple, we probably had more than 2X the net worth I would have had if I stayed single the whole time, due to housing economies, two people costing the same as one...
Attempted new signature...

2015
Posts: 1992
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by 2015 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:30 pm

That's a very nice way of putting lipstick on a pig. :wink: I'm not sure the math works out as you claim (Kotlikoff of ESPlanner fame uses 1 1/2 times economy for those married). Still, it all seems fairly thermonuclear to me and well worth side-stepping.

The Wizard
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Location: Reading, MA

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by The Wizard » Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:54 pm

2015 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:30 pm
That's a very nice way of putting lipstick on a pig. :wink: I'm not sure the math works out as you claim (Kotlikoff of ESPlanner fame uses 1 1/2 times economy for those married). Still, it all seems fairly thermonuclear to me and well worth side-stepping.
I'm not *sure* of it either and I'm not doing any forensic accounting to figure it out.
But as a dual income couple owning our house, I'm pretty sure we were able to save a bit more in retirement accounts over that 20+ years compared to going it as singles. And the increase in house value from $45k to $300k was nothing to sneeze at either.

But divorce situations vary considerably.
Take an example of a single income couple who divorces, with the earner paying alimony to the non earner. And throw in good-sized legal fees as well.
That's closer to the aforementioned bomb...
Attempted new signature...

BeneIRA
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by BeneIRA » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:36 pm

TropikThunder wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:01 pm
BeneIRA wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 3:20 pm
Go incognito on your browser. Go to americanexpress.com and then check out the Amex Everyday and see if you get the 25,000 bonus point offer with a 0% balance transfer for 12 months. It fits your needs and Amex will approve just about anyone. If you don't get it, clear your cookies and/or try another browser, close everything out, go incognito again, and see if it pops up for you. That solves at least some of your issue.
I think you mean use a VPN rather than incognito. At least for Chrome, incognito doesn't necessarily shield your IP address from the web site you're visiting (it just keeps your activity from showing up in your browser history or cookies).
'Your activity might still be visible to:
Websites you visit
Your employer or school
Your internet service provider'
I mean incognito, no VPN needed. If I go in with a regular browser, I get all of the regular offers all the time. If I go in incognito, I cycle through the good offers. It's worked for me for well over a year at this point.

WanderingDoc
Posts: 1100
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by WanderingDoc » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:45 pm

8foot7 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:11 pm
The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
You lost 50% of your assets. How is that not a nuclear bomb? I mean, I’m glad you’re positive about everything.
My thought exactly. From the many folks I talked with.. they lost more like 65% of their assets on average. They gave gobs of money to people they despise (the ex-spouse and lawyers), money that took decades of sweat, time, and lost health to earn. Move along, nothing to see here 8-)

I am glad that for some people, lost decades of diminished health, creativity, risk-taking, and thousands of hours of work is "baloney".
Don't wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate, and wait. | Rent where you live, buy where others pay your mortgage for you.

Momus
Posts: 446
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by Momus » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:52 pm

WanderingDoc wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:45 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:11 pm
The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
You lost 50% of your assets. How is that not a nuclear bomb? I mean, I’m glad you’re positive about everything.
My thought exactly. From the many folks I talked with.. they lost more like 65% of their assets on average. They gave gobs of money to people they despise (the ex-spouse and lawyers), money that took decades of sweat, time, and lost health to earn. Move along, nothing to see here 8-)

I am glad that for some people, lost decades of diminished health, creativity, risk-taking, and thousands of hours of work is "baloney".
Divorce benefits women greatly. 90% of divorced men pay alimony and they got taken to the cleaner... Women inititiates 70% of divorces.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnso ... 1e324854b9

Prenup, prenup, prenup.

The Wizard
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Location: Reading, MA

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by The Wizard » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:05 pm

We need to get back to the OP's financial concerns and away from general divorce ranting...
Attempted new signature...

2015
Posts: 1992
Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2014 2:32 pm

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by 2015 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:33 pm

The Wizard wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:54 pm
2015 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:30 pm
That's a very nice way of putting lipstick on a pig. :wink: I'm not sure the math works out as you claim (Kotlikoff of ESPlanner fame uses 1 1/2 times economy for those married). Still, it all seems fairly thermonuclear to me and well worth side-stepping.
I'm not *sure* of it either and I'm not doing any forensic accounting to figure it out.
But as a dual income couple owning our house, I'm pretty sure we were able to save a bit more in retirement accounts over that 20+ years compared to going it as singles. And the increase in house value from $45k to $300k was nothing to sneeze at either.

But divorce situations vary considerably.
Take an example of a single income couple who divorces, with the earner paying alimony to the non earner. And throw in good-sized legal fees as well.
That's closer to the aforementioned bomb...
Very good for you! As a single individual my housing equity increased an obscene amount (I just took all my chips off the table). And I didn't have to split it with anyone!

WanderingDoc
Posts: 1100
Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 8:21 pm

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by WanderingDoc » Sat Oct 13, 2018 10:32 pm

Momus wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:52 pm
WanderingDoc wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:45 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:11 pm
The Wizard wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:23 pm
8foot7 wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am
As my divorce attorney said, divorce settlements are supposed to be equitable, but not necessarily equal. I doubt very much most divorces are split exactly down the middle, and assets can come in all forms, liquid, illiquid, taxable, pre-tax.

A divorce is a hugely negative event, and much of the time it is like dropping a nuclear bomb on your finances.
Baloney on the nuclear bomb.
I got divorced in 1997 after 20+ years of marriage.
It wasn't fun.
We split assets 50/50.
I made out fine in the end...
You lost 50% of your assets. How is that not a nuclear bomb? I mean, I’m glad you’re positive about everything.
My thought exactly. From the many folks I talked with.. they lost more like 65% of their assets on average. They gave gobs of money to people they despise (the ex-spouse and lawyers), money that took decades of sweat, time, and lost health to earn. Move along, nothing to see here 8-)

I am glad that for some people, lost decades of diminished health, creativity, risk-taking, and thousands of hours of work is "baloney".
Divorce benefits women greatly. 90% of divorced men pay alimony and they got taken to the cleaner... Women inititiates 70% of divorces.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnso ... 1e324854b9

Prenup, prenup, prenup.
Those are the same numbers I have in my head -- but it bears repeating. I don't think one could share this data enough. Isn't it pretty interesting that women initiate >70% of divorces.. and who is usually the person nagging, guilting, and cajoling the other into getting married in the first place? When I first realized this (I was 28), it was like swallowing a giant red pill that took 3 glasses of water to get down :beer
Don't wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate, and wait. | Rent where you live, buy where others pay your mortgage for you.

denovo
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by denovo » Sun Oct 14, 2018 12:35 am

BetaMax wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:10 pm
My credit went from near perfect to mid 600s due to my divorce. I was awarded all of my ex-wife's credit card debt she racked up while we were separated. What is the best all around credit card I can transfer the balances to as I work to repair my credit?

In a perfect world, I'd prefer the card have

*at least 0% interest on balance transfers
*rewards for travel or cash back
*look freaking cool
*works with Personal Capital

Thank you for all your help!
Chase Slate. My condolences on your situation.
"Don't trust everything you read on the Internet"- Abraham Lincoln

BetaMax
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:14 pm

Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by BetaMax » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:10 pm

OK, if a credit card transfer is a dumb idea what do you suggest I do? I need to refinance 35k in credit card debt and I can't take out a HELOC because she was awarded the home. I checked with my credit union and the largest personal loan I can get is 10,000. LendingClub would approve me to 35k but the rate would be 15%.

simas
Posts: 277
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by simas » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:55 pm

may be create a separate thread for it?
what are the debts - amounts, percentages, when those start (if you have grace periods now)
what is the income
what are the budgeted expenses
is there any emergency funds available to you


in short, you need to make decision on whether it is mathematically possible to deal with this debt (if not, you are probably looking at bankruptcy)
if it is , what can you do in areas of raising income , cutting expenses, selling anything that is not essential to breathing, and paying off the debt. it is going to hurt for a while and you just need to get through it.

MotoTrojan
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by MotoTrojan » Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:05 pm

Uber Barclays visa has a 1% balance transfer offer throw next month or so. 0% until 2020 and excellent card regardless. Can also pull cash out with same terms.

Nate79
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by Nate79 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:33 pm

BetaMax wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:10 pm
OK, if a credit card transfer is a dumb idea what do you suggest I do? I need to refinance 35k in credit card debt and I can't take out a HELOC because she was awarded the home. I checked with my credit union and the largest personal loan I can get is 10,000. LendingClub would approve me to 35k but the rate would be 15%.
I would check other credit unions and local banks. Do you have anything to sell to offset this credit card balance? For example move down in car to get an immediate decrease?

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dm200
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help [looking for new credit card]

Post by dm200 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:39 pm

BetaMax wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:10 pm
OK, if a credit card transfer is a dumb idea what do you suggest I do? I need to refinance 35k in credit card debt and I can't take out a HELOC because she was awarded the home. I checked with my credit union and the largest personal loan I can get is 10,000. LendingClub would approve me to 35k but the rate would be 15%.
Why do you "need to refinance"? Just make as large monthly payments as you can reasonably afford -- and the balances will shrink over time.

THY4373
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Re: Just Divorced -- Need Help

Post by THY4373 » Fri Oct 19, 2018 5:28 pm

8foot7 wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:11 pm

You lost 50% of your assets. How is that not a nuclear bomb? I mean, I’m glad you’re positive about everything.
Except as noted by others I didn't loose 50% of "my" assets in the divorce. My wife made pretty much the same as I did so she more or less earned half of what we split in the marriage. I am at the very least on the some trajectory as if I hadn't got married and possibly a bit to a fair amount better off. No nuclear bomb here, I'll still retire around 55 very comfortably as I was planning on even before I got married. My divorce was a good one, going through it wasn't necessarily awesome but my marriage led to my son, led the discovery or what truly makes me happy and I am still very good friends with my ex. Divorces suck because folks make them suck. Approach it collaboratively and it can be a positive thing. I only half joke that two of the best decisions in my life were to marry my ex and then later divorce her.

Edit: And to add my post divorce life is awesome!

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