Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Work is called work for a reason.
Also, balance is [expletive deleted by moderator oldcomputerguy].
It is about priorities and cycling your focus/energy to balance short term requirements with long term objectives.
I build up credibility at work and then "cash it out" on personal needs such as attending kids activities etc
That said, if your current job has awesome benefits then that has their own benefits.
The gras isn't always greener, sometimes it is astroturf.
Also, balance is [expletive deleted by moderator oldcomputerguy].
It is about priorities and cycling your focus/energy to balance short term requirements with long term objectives.
I build up credibility at work and then "cash it out" on personal needs such as attending kids activities etc
That said, if your current job has awesome benefits then that has their own benefits.
The gras isn't always greener, sometimes it is astroturf.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
OP, I was in your situation for the last 5 years of my career, so I definitely understand. I stayed with it but many Sunday nights and Monday mornings I wanted to run away. Your problem is you feel you have no control over the situation, again, I was at the same place, helpless and hopeless.
Now that I am through it I am glad I did the grind. But more important I realize now I had options that I was just too scared to look at. I could of changed jobs, made less money, be happier, and work more years before I retired. So you are not helpless or hopeless, you have a choice! You need to look deep and realize where the fear is coming from for you.
If you can find the courage you need to look at your options. What would you move to in an ideal situation? What would you make? Where could you cut expenses? How much longer would you have to work? Think through all the details with your spouse and determine whether your family is willing to make the changes necessary. By going through this process you are taking control and not letting the situation control and overwhelm you. I wish I had the courage to do that, but I didn’t. I wish you the best and hope you find your calling and passion again, whatever decision you make.
Now that I am through it I am glad I did the grind. But more important I realize now I had options that I was just too scared to look at. I could of changed jobs, made less money, be happier, and work more years before I retired. So you are not helpless or hopeless, you have a choice! You need to look deep and realize where the fear is coming from for you.
If you can find the courage you need to look at your options. What would you move to in an ideal situation? What would you make? Where could you cut expenses? How much longer would you have to work? Think through all the details with your spouse and determine whether your family is willing to make the changes necessary. By going through this process you are taking control and not letting the situation control and overwhelm you. I wish I had the courage to do that, but I didn’t. I wish you the best and hope you find your calling and passion again, whatever decision you make.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head. This is what I had meant about becoming more fearful and afraid of risk-taking. I have already worked out our projected annual expenses, and even projected what we would need adding a 25% unforeseen increase(we live frugally and well below our means). I am sure that I could find something that would cover the bills, but I would likely have to retire at 65 rather than retire early, and a new job could mean potential uncertainty in the future..Golf maniac wrote: ↑Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:00 pm OP, I was in your situation for the last 5 years of my career, so I definitely understand. I stayed with it but many Sunday nights and Monday mornings I wanted to run away. Your problem is you feel you have no control over the situation, again, I was at the same place, helpless and hopeless.
Now that I am through it I am glad I did the grind. But more important I realize now I had options that I was just too scared to look at. I could of changed jobs, made less money, be happier, and work more years before I retired. So you are not helpless or hopeless, you have a choice! You need to look deep and realize where the fear is coming from for you.
If you can find the courage you need to look at your options. What would you move to in an ideal situation? What would you make? Where could you cut expenses? How much longer would you have to work? Think through all the details with your spouse and determine whether your family is willing to make the changes necessary. By going through this process you are taking control and not letting the situation control and overwhelm you. I wish I had the courage to do that, but I didn’t. I wish you the best and hope you find your calling and passion again, whatever decision you make.
The major fears that I have are in regards to making sure that my children will be able to get through college with some financial support in their tuition, as well as the need to provide health care for the entire family. If those two things were taken care of, I could probably find something less stressful for half the pay.
Over the past several years, I have worked on looking at things from a new perspective, practicing gratefulness, and even kept a journal listing all the reasons that I should be grateful. Ultimately, when my work environment became more unreasonable and my schedule overwhelming, it became more difficult to keep that perspective.
Yes, I agree with folks that the grass is not always greener, but it would be nice to get up excited to go to work and look at a career as an pleasure, rather than a chore.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
OP, I could have written your post. I am in a very similar situation - eerily similar. I constantly struggle with the dilemma.... stay in my current job that I hate (but earn well), or begin to look for a new job. I literally change my mind every single day. It is very unsettling and causes me a fair amount of anxiety.
Here is what I hold on to:
Nothing is permanent. Things are always changing. Look for opportunities within your current role to make those inevitable changes work in your favor.
As the months / years tick by, your savings will continue to accumulate and you get ever closer to FI. As this happens, your anxiety should wane.
Your Monday thru Fridays might be tough, but hopefully you have a lot of control over what happens on the weekends. That's 29% of your week that you control, where you can maximize quality time with family and friends and find some time for yourself to relax.
I've started meditating and that has helped calm my mind quite a bit. This is something I never would have tried, but i was running out of ideas to find some peace in my life. Check out the free headspace app if you want to give it a try.
Finally, is there anything you can do to make your work week more enjoyable? What would happen if you came in late / left early a day or two? Think about ideas to improve your day.... exercising, lunch with friends, drinks after work, schedule mid week family dinners, etc.
Best of Luck
Here is what I hold on to:
Nothing is permanent. Things are always changing. Look for opportunities within your current role to make those inevitable changes work in your favor.
As the months / years tick by, your savings will continue to accumulate and you get ever closer to FI. As this happens, your anxiety should wane.
Your Monday thru Fridays might be tough, but hopefully you have a lot of control over what happens on the weekends. That's 29% of your week that you control, where you can maximize quality time with family and friends and find some time for yourself to relax.
I've started meditating and that has helped calm my mind quite a bit. This is something I never would have tried, but i was running out of ideas to find some peace in my life. Check out the free headspace app if you want to give it a try.
Finally, is there anything you can do to make your work week more enjoyable? What would happen if you came in late / left early a day or two? Think about ideas to improve your day.... exercising, lunch with friends, drinks after work, schedule mid week family dinners, etc.
Best of Luck
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Very similar situation. 47, 3 kids to get through college.
Consider becoming a practicing stoic. Everything we do is really our own perception. It works against us. A lot.
This book can change your state of mind. How you perceive things. Negative visualization. What you control/don't control.
A Guide To The Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine
https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life- ... f+stoicism
Avoid the "FI Trap". That is being enamored with "FI" but not being willing/able to do (family, kids, debt, college etc) things that could bring you to FI sooner.
Keep your job. Change your mind.
Consider becoming a practicing stoic. Everything we do is really our own perception. It works against us. A lot.
This book can change your state of mind. How you perceive things. Negative visualization. What you control/don't control.
A Guide To The Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine
https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life- ... f+stoicism
Avoid the "FI Trap". That is being enamored with "FI" but not being willing/able to do (family, kids, debt, college etc) things that could bring you to FI sooner.
Keep your job. Change your mind.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I am not sure what industry you are in but if you could get the health insurance then you only have the college issue. I shared this in another post, I understand we want the best for our kids and college is always a part of that dream.
I have 2 boys, the first had no interest in college. We had a 4 year prepaid that he never used that will expire next year. He found his passion in sales and is doing better than most people his age with no college. Our second son is graduating HIgh School in December. He also doesn’t want to go to college at this point and is joining the military. The point is kids may not go to college after all of OUR planning. Also, if someone wants to get a college degree there are many ways to spend less and get a degree. Many school districts allow high school kids to take college courses for free. My second son could of gotten 2 years of college for free and transfer those credits to any in state college. There are also scholarships available, the military, working and going to college, loans, etc.
My opinion and the point is none of your family wants to watch you be miserable for 8 to 10 years for something they may not do or may have other creative ways to pay for the expense. In the past two years my youngest son plans went from going to the Naval Academy, going to The Citidel on ROTC schlorship, getting his two year degree and then transferring to an instate college, get his 2 year degree and then going in the military, graduating HS and going into the Army, Marines, and finally decided on the Navy. So, kids change their minds, a lot!
I wish you the best, but staying in a miserable job to help meet a goal the kids may not want or need is not something anyone should have to go through.
I have 2 boys, the first had no interest in college. We had a 4 year prepaid that he never used that will expire next year. He found his passion in sales and is doing better than most people his age with no college. Our second son is graduating HIgh School in December. He also doesn’t want to go to college at this point and is joining the military. The point is kids may not go to college after all of OUR planning. Also, if someone wants to get a college degree there are many ways to spend less and get a degree. Many school districts allow high school kids to take college courses for free. My second son could of gotten 2 years of college for free and transfer those credits to any in state college. There are also scholarships available, the military, working and going to college, loans, etc.
My opinion and the point is none of your family wants to watch you be miserable for 8 to 10 years for something they may not do or may have other creative ways to pay for the expense. In the past two years my youngest son plans went from going to the Naval Academy, going to The Citidel on ROTC schlorship, getting his two year degree and then transferring to an instate college, get his 2 year degree and then going in the military, graduating HS and going into the Army, Marines, and finally decided on the Navy. So, kids change their minds, a lot!
I wish you the best, but staying in a miserable job to help meet a goal the kids may not want or need is not something anyone should have to go through.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I go through this feeling a lot too so can totally empathize. Start by thinking about what is it you don't like about work. Is it the hours? The stress? The politics? Then think about things you can do to make it better. For me it was the stress. But I realized a lot of my stress was because I cared too much about everything working perfectly. Or even when things were good, I would worry about things that were out of my control that could go wrong. Or that there would be some problem that I couldn't fix. I realized I had to force myself not to think about those things I couldn't do anything about. And focus on what I was doing well. All I could do was my best and if that wasn't good enough then oh well. I think sometimes we are our own worse critic. I learned to delegate responsibility better and that helps. I'm still working on the stress part but I agree with above posters that getting enough sleep and enjoying your weekends and taking vacations is key. Hopefully making these little changes to improve your work life will help you to grind it out for a few more years. My goal to retire is when I'm 50...house should be paid off and we should have enough money saved for college for the kids. I've decided that we are saving only $X amount to give them so if they need more then that's on them to take a loan or go to a cheaper school or get scholarships. I'm hoping though that by cutting back our spending and saving more we can cut that work time even shorter. It helps to have a goal...probably explains why I'm on this forum so much, lol.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
rich126 wrote: ↑Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:38 amYou got to be kidding me! 10 years is a HUGE amount of time if you don't like what you are doing. Even a year is painful. It isn't any fun to dread waiting up Monday and starting something you hate. Yeah, sometimes you have to grind through it, especially if you think it is getting better or you have no other options, but not for 10 years.RobLyons wrote: ↑Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:31 am With only ~10 years left until FI / retirement, I would stay at the job. Very short period of time in the grand scheme of things and I would try to utilize even more vacation time, sick time, FMLA, etc to cut down the amount of actual time at work.
Another thought - You could be FI sooner if you don't put all 4 kids through college.
I know this is a personal decision but this is a huge financial burden that can be shared by your children.
Best of luck!
I was reading some of the other threads where people use the term "winning" with regards to social security collection strategies by waiting until 70 or whenever to collect. I'm sorry but the sooner you can retire and enjoy life, the better. No one, regardless of family or personal health is guaranteed to live until a certain age. Enjoy life. If work is your thing, then work until death if you want but for every person that you see traveling and enjoying life in their 70s/80s, there are more than never made it that far or can't move around easily, or can't get through airports, etc.
I've been fortunate when for large chunks of my career I enjoyed my job, sure at times I didn't, or other times was thoroughly bored but I was lucky. I've also had some less enjoyable times and trying to grind through them isn't easy.
Sorry but 10 years ain't a short period of time in anyone's life.
Late response, but..
- 10 years becomes less than 5 when not paying for 4 full boat scholarships
- under 5 years becomes under 4 when utilizing all time off, fmla, long weekends, etc
- I would explore part time, or working from home before changing careers, if those are feasible options
- There's no guarantee OP won't absolutely hate the new job change, have an increase in stress, misery
- OP will also likely suffer greatly financially due to missing out on the highest earning years of his career
- Not everyone in the world absolutely loves their job, but it's a mean to an end.
Guess I've always been a grinder, so a few years at a job I don't like is nothing when it means FI is just around the corner.
It's been a while since this was posted. OP have you made a decision?
Light weight baby!
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I am hearing that you feel overwhelming dissatisfaction with your work, which you convey very effectively by using the word "grinding" to refer to continuing in your current position. I am hurting when I think of what it must be like for you to endure that. I also hear the weight of your concerns about financial security and family responsibilities should you choose to leave your position. I am sensing these and perhaps other conflicting parts within you urging you in different directions. Do you experience it that way?
I believe each part of you is very valuable and important and needs to be heard. I believe each one is trying to protect you, from its own point of view. This inner conflict between our parts can be very difficult to experience. What I think you want is unified action in a wholly satisfying direction. Would that be true?
I am wishing you had a personal growth process to help you find your own wholehearted forward direction within yourself. Since you seem open to getting help with this, I will share that I am involved as a client in a personal growth process callled Inner Relationship Focusing, which might meet your needs. (I have no other relationship with Focusing.) I have private Focusing sessions by video conference with Focusing teacher Ann Weiser Cornell, which as far as I know can be done from anyplace in the world. Because of my personal experience of Ann, I highly recommend her. Other Focusing teachers may also be very good, but I cannot say so from personal experience.
Ann learned Focusing from the originator and has decades of experience both teaching and training teachers. She has written the book "Focusing in Clinical Practice," which I found at the library, so that is one source of information about this process. Another source is the Focusing web site, which is: www.focusingresources.com. There is much free written and recorded information there, and you can watch mini-videos about Focusing to check it out. You can also schedule sessions with Ann on line, and she is personally available by email. Inner Relationship Focusing is an emotional healing process for personal growth. Focusing is not psychotherapy, but it is learned by psychotherapists who wish to use the Focusing process with their clients, and they are called Focusing psychotherapists.
If you want a quick fix, Focusing is unfortunately not that magic pill. It is a process of inner development, and while it does have some magical aspects, growth can take time. I also have conflicting inner parts arising within me, and in Focusing classes I have taken, I find that others do, too. Certain inner conflicts in Focusing are called Tangles, which are situations that feel impossible to resolve. Focusing has developed a process called Untangling to work with and resolve Tangles. It is changing my life to be heard and accompanied with unconditional acceptance of whatever arises within me and to begin to learn how to do this for myself. I believe this process could help you find your own right direction forward. I send you my caring and wish you well with this situation that is so deeply affecting your quality of life.
I believe each part of you is very valuable and important and needs to be heard. I believe each one is trying to protect you, from its own point of view. This inner conflict between our parts can be very difficult to experience. What I think you want is unified action in a wholly satisfying direction. Would that be true?
I am wishing you had a personal growth process to help you find your own wholehearted forward direction within yourself. Since you seem open to getting help with this, I will share that I am involved as a client in a personal growth process callled Inner Relationship Focusing, which might meet your needs. (I have no other relationship with Focusing.) I have private Focusing sessions by video conference with Focusing teacher Ann Weiser Cornell, which as far as I know can be done from anyplace in the world. Because of my personal experience of Ann, I highly recommend her. Other Focusing teachers may also be very good, but I cannot say so from personal experience.
Ann learned Focusing from the originator and has decades of experience both teaching and training teachers. She has written the book "Focusing in Clinical Practice," which I found at the library, so that is one source of information about this process. Another source is the Focusing web site, which is: www.focusingresources.com. There is much free written and recorded information there, and you can watch mini-videos about Focusing to check it out. You can also schedule sessions with Ann on line, and she is personally available by email. Inner Relationship Focusing is an emotional healing process for personal growth. Focusing is not psychotherapy, but it is learned by psychotherapists who wish to use the Focusing process with their clients, and they are called Focusing psychotherapists.
If you want a quick fix, Focusing is unfortunately not that magic pill. It is a process of inner development, and while it does have some magical aspects, growth can take time. I also have conflicting inner parts arising within me, and in Focusing classes I have taken, I find that others do, too. Certain inner conflicts in Focusing are called Tangles, which are situations that feel impossible to resolve. Focusing has developed a process called Untangling to work with and resolve Tangles. It is changing my life to be heard and accompanied with unconditional acceptance of whatever arises within me and to begin to learn how to do this for myself. I believe this process could help you find your own right direction forward. I send you my caring and wish you well with this situation that is so deeply affecting your quality of life.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I always login when I see these threads to declare: get out. Not saying get out now, but begin an exit plan. Your life's too important to waste. Don't listen to any husks pushing you to keep grinding. That's crazy. Looks like most folks here are supportive of a change, though, so that's nice to see. But in general there's this attitude in America that says work is destined to be miserable, a grind, a chore, something you ultimately hate, and that you're a bad person for wanting things otherwise. Nonsense, that's just an exploitative narrative to keep you fielding the assembly line.
You don't have to be miserable. There are always options. Consider that people live very fulfilling, happy lives without your security or income. Yes it might require a change of lifestyle. So it goes. That's the sacrifice. I lived once upon a time on <$30,000 in my own apartment, in a good town in Massachusetts, so not a LCOL area, and was still able to save enough to max Roth contributions. I made it work fine, and I had loads of time off that I absolutely miss. And now, it's funny, I make way more money, and I'm married to someone who makes about as much as I do, and because of my changed perspective I feel like we're somehow struggling. It is crazy. I feel like, if we stopped working, they'd haul me off to debtor's prison (even though we only have a little bit of mortgage debt remaining). It is, again, crazy.
I don't have to work, largely because my wife has medical and we have enough money saved up, but I enjoy my current job. I really do, short commute, engaging work, good staff. I think back to how I was in my old job where I was seriously considering quitting with no backup plan. I was in commuting hell for a job that brought me tons of stress. So I made an exit plan, followed through with it, and yes my new job was an upgrade all around, but I would've done it for less money, no doubt. I'm just so much happier.
Re: medical, you can try to get those benefits elsewhere, and you don't necessarily have to work FT. I worked in a municipality where the part-timers (20+ hours/week) were offered benefits packages. It is tough I grant. We're basically slaves to medical insurance.
Overall I guess my point would be to start a plan. It might just mean, for now, reviewing your options elsewhere. It might mean interviewing elsewhere and seeing what they can offer. It might mean sitting down with your superiors and asking for some flexibility, like a remote day if you find that the commute/work environment bothers you. Start planning.
You don't have to be miserable. There are always options. Consider that people live very fulfilling, happy lives without your security or income. Yes it might require a change of lifestyle. So it goes. That's the sacrifice. I lived once upon a time on <$30,000 in my own apartment, in a good town in Massachusetts, so not a LCOL area, and was still able to save enough to max Roth contributions. I made it work fine, and I had loads of time off that I absolutely miss. And now, it's funny, I make way more money, and I'm married to someone who makes about as much as I do, and because of my changed perspective I feel like we're somehow struggling. It is crazy. I feel like, if we stopped working, they'd haul me off to debtor's prison (even though we only have a little bit of mortgage debt remaining). It is, again, crazy.
I don't have to work, largely because my wife has medical and we have enough money saved up, but I enjoy my current job. I really do, short commute, engaging work, good staff. I think back to how I was in my old job where I was seriously considering quitting with no backup plan. I was in commuting hell for a job that brought me tons of stress. So I made an exit plan, followed through with it, and yes my new job was an upgrade all around, but I would've done it for less money, no doubt. I'm just so much happier.
Re: medical, you can try to get those benefits elsewhere, and you don't necessarily have to work FT. I worked in a municipality where the part-timers (20+ hours/week) were offered benefits packages. It is tough I grant. We're basically slaves to medical insurance.
Overall I guess my point would be to start a plan. It might just mean, for now, reviewing your options elsewhere. It might mean interviewing elsewhere and seeing what they can offer. It might mean sitting down with your superiors and asking for some flexibility, like a remote day if you find that the commute/work environment bothers you. Start planning.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
+1
Work is work, they wouldn't pay you if it was endless enjoyment.
Try to make your job as enjoyable as possible, mixing up some things that might help.
Volunteer to do something you don't normally do at work.
Look at the tasks you do that you find least enjoyable. Do they really need to be done at all ? Must they be done by you ?
If you have some fantastic specific business idea or dream job in mind, what would it be ?
How long might it take to come to fruition ? Would that be in time for your obligations ( college, retirement) ?
Don't run away, run to or make your current situation better with small adjustments.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I do think speaking with a counselor of some sort could be helpful. The OP might just not want to bare his soul online, but he did not outline specifics aspects of his job that were untenable. The gentleman on this forum who recently was thinking of a career change because of his 100 hour work weeks had a something identifiable to improve.
OP: If you are going to derail your early retirement and your kids education, you really want it to improve your life otherwise. I have had acquaintances who dreaded Monday morning, made a change without a good plan, and realized within a year or two that they had made a mistake. Some tried to get back to where they had been but never really made up the lost ground while others ended up dreading Monday mornings for a lower paying job. Maybe you know what you dislike about your job and what new job would be exciting. Then, go for it. Hopefully, the things you dislike can be avoided. My problem is that I have found that the issues that I find to have increased my frustration level over the last decade seem to be ubiquitous across professions and workplaces.
OP: If you are going to derail your early retirement and your kids education, you really want it to improve your life otherwise. I have had acquaintances who dreaded Monday morning, made a change without a good plan, and realized within a year or two that they had made a mistake. Some tried to get back to where they had been but never really made up the lost ground while others ended up dreading Monday mornings for a lower paying job. Maybe you know what you dislike about your job and what new job would be exciting. Then, go for it. Hopefully, the things you dislike can be avoided. My problem is that I have found that the issues that I find to have increased my frustration level over the last decade seem to be ubiquitous across professions and workplaces.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I would look into seeing a therapist to get some tools in your "toolkit" on how to cope and put your work life in its proper place in your life.
Stress is a silent killer, and the mind / body connection is real. Addressing it and not just shoving it down or "walking it off" is an investment in you, and in turn, in your family life.
I think a career coach might also be a good option.
Stress is a silent killer, and the mind / body connection is real. Addressing it and not just shoving it down or "walking it off" is an investment in you, and in turn, in your family life.
I think a career coach might also be a good option.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I ran across this thread, and I am bumping in case the OP has anything to share about how things have worked out. I have felt this way before, and I still have intermittent twinges, though as I get closer to the end of the W-2 employee chapter of my life it is easier to keep perspective.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
OP do you have any viable career change prospects? If not, then you don't seem to have much of a choice but to keep working. Find some way to make the work more enjoyable - take a vacation, try to get on new projects, or something else.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I'm in my mid-30's and have felt that nagging need for change as well. I've moved twice for my career. Once from Atlanta to Dallas and again most recently from Dallas to Reno so big changes. I've found a position that I'm incredibly happy with, but it easily could have gone the other way. However, I know I have a good 20-30 years left so it's probably in my best interest to seek happiness now.
However, if I had <10 years, life is pretty stable, and the current job is secure and high paying, I'm not sure I would leave. You've already said that you've taken a less stressful position now. Taking a new position in a new company has so many unknowns and the whole job change process is stressful. Then the actual job could easily be more stressful, less pay, and less secure.
I would focus on what you do in your off time. I know if I have something exciting scheduled after work, the day flies by and my spirits are generally higher. If you're just clocking in, clocking out, going home, eating dinner, going to bed and have nothing to look forward to, it's not your job. You're going to have to do something for 40-50 hours a week to make ends meet. It's the other 118 hours you need to look at. If you're totally satisfied with your non-working hours, then maybe it is the job....but again - if the job is tolerable I would fill my free time with enjoyable activities and look at the job as a way to fund that.
However, if I had <10 years, life is pretty stable, and the current job is secure and high paying, I'm not sure I would leave. You've already said that you've taken a less stressful position now. Taking a new position in a new company has so many unknowns and the whole job change process is stressful. Then the actual job could easily be more stressful, less pay, and less secure.
I would focus on what you do in your off time. I know if I have something exciting scheduled after work, the day flies by and my spirits are generally higher. If you're just clocking in, clocking out, going home, eating dinner, going to bed and have nothing to look forward to, it's not your job. You're going to have to do something for 40-50 hours a week to make ends meet. It's the other 118 hours you need to look at. If you're totally satisfied with your non-working hours, then maybe it is the job....but again - if the job is tolerable I would fill my free time with enjoyable activities and look at the job as a way to fund that.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I know this thread is a few years old but just wanted to thank all that responded....some extremely helpful responses for me and maybe others as well feeling the same way... I’m only 9 years out after training and have been feeling significant burnout. This thread has really helped rethink prospectives. During a 6 week shutdown due to Covid, such was evident in that I had not been that relaxed and easy going in a long time. However thinking the grass is greener elsewhere could potentially be a big mistake.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
A vacation would do wonders!
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
The key as everyone has already stated is that you need to lower the anxiety and stress.
One method I don't think anyone has mentioned is meditation, it helped me in numerous ways.
If you try this it will take awhile so don't give up thinking that it doesn't work, start small and build up the time and stay consistent.
One method I don't think anyone has mentioned is meditation, it helped me in numerous ways.
If you try this it will take awhile so don't give up thinking that it doesn't work, start small and build up the time and stay consistent.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Just go part time 20 hours, use the remainder of your time to relax/hobbies/or on your "dream job"
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
At about 36 hrs right now and seems a bit much at times...obviously could be much worse no doubt. 99% of the people I work with are great...it’s learning how to not let that 1% that pees in my wheaties bother me and stick around in my thoughts...it’s really silly and irrational I know.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Like all of us, I’ve had many ups and downs with my career. I just celebrated 20 years at Mega Corp. Ive had some bad bosses. I’ve moved within the company, been promoted, taken on different responsibilities, etc. It’s been a wild ride. It usually comes down to the people....and who you work for. I almost quit 2-3 times. Came very close. My last boss was a real jerk. Just when I didn’t think I could take it anymore, he got into an argument with our COO and parted ways with the company. Guess who got his job? It always works out in the end. Keep grinding. If you are a boglehead.....you are a grinder.....
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
There is no such a magic button to make the problem you are facing disappear until you find what you have to change within you.Carguy85 wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 12:05 pm ... I’m only 9 years out after training and have been feeling significant burnout. This thread has really helped rethink prospectives. During a 6 week shutdown due to Covid, such was evident in that I had not been that relaxed and easy going in a long time. However thinking the grass is greener elsewhere could potentially be a big mistake.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I quite my job due to burnout at age 54.
I don't make many mistakes so this was probably the biggest mistake of my life.
I was going to take time off. Live the simple life. Not worry about money, etc.
Then my son got diagnosed with a likely terminal illness out of the blue so my financial obligations went through the roof.
I wish I had just learned how to be happy with what I had.
Now I make less, work harder, commute longer and the job is worse by far.
Hopefully there is something better coming my way.
My advise...get counseling. Don't quit till you have a good job offer. Follow Boglehead advice over non-Bogleheads.
I don't make many mistakes so this was probably the biggest mistake of my life.
I was going to take time off. Live the simple life. Not worry about money, etc.
Then my son got diagnosed with a likely terminal illness out of the blue so my financial obligations went through the roof.
I wish I had just learned how to be happy with what I had.
Now I make less, work harder, commute longer and the job is worse by far.
Hopefully there is something better coming my way.
My advise...get counseling. Don't quit till you have a good job offer. Follow Boglehead advice over non-Bogleheads.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
Just wanted to throw my two cents in that ten years is too long to stick out being miserable. If you were 62-3 and 2-3 years away from complete financial freedom and retirement, maybe. 10 years could be 12.5% of your total time on Earth. We're not guaranteed tomorrow and I think while delaying gratification is certainly reasonable, enduring a decade of self-induced misery is not. That being said, exit smartly, don't quit with no plan, jump into something not out of something.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
There's people in lower paying jobs that also have burnout and want a change.
If it's just a similar job at a different company that has similar pay and just need a change of scenery, then go for it, but this sounds more like a career reboot. Unless you have a well thought out plan for exactly what you want to do and it's some passion of yours that can be lucrative, I'd probably stay where you're at.
I just had a friend go through this, had a great paying job but wanted something more exciting and went to more of a startup operation. I thought he was nuts to leave, I told him you would have to drag me out of that job before I'd leave because his job sounded amazing. But he left and the new company now looks to be going bankrupt after just a few months and the whole move severely jeopardized his career and retirement. And he hates the new job but now is a terrible time to find a new job.
If it's just a similar job at a different company that has similar pay and just need a change of scenery, then go for it, but this sounds more like a career reboot. Unless you have a well thought out plan for exactly what you want to do and it's some passion of yours that can be lucrative, I'd probably stay where you're at.
I just had a friend go through this, had a great paying job but wanted something more exciting and went to more of a startup operation. I thought he was nuts to leave, I told him you would have to drag me out of that job before I'd leave because his job sounded amazing. But he left and the new company now looks to be going bankrupt after just a few months and the whole move severely jeopardized his career and retirement. And he hates the new job but now is a terrible time to find a new job.
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Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
OP,
This sort of thing hits some males rather hard about your age. It makes the last years on the job rather difficult.
But, you do know that right now we've got about 20 million - depends on how you count it - unemployed out there looking for jobs. Get a job before you leap out of the current one you're in. Or as the say in small boat sailing - step up in to the life raft from a sinking boat. (For ships, it's different. Leave when you can.)
This sort of thing hits some males rather hard about your age. It makes the last years on the job rather difficult.
But, you do know that right now we've got about 20 million - depends on how you count it - unemployed out there looking for jobs. Get a job before you leap out of the current one you're in. Or as the say in small boat sailing - step up in to the life raft from a sinking boat. (For ships, it's different. Leave when you can.)
FI is the best revenge. LBYM. Invest the rest. Stay the course. Die anyway. - PS: The cavalry isn't coming, kids. You are on your own.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
I can easily say with certainty that it would be a total change of career given the current pay/hours/benefits/relative stress level are as good as it can possibly get....at least within driving distance and still wouldn’t change the fact of working with the general public. My main takeaway of the thread was that changes need to be made within as to not have the same or even worse experience elsewhere. There will always be bad apples wether it be working with the general public or team within a company. There are certainly professions where these bad apples are dealt with in much greater numbers. Bless those who are able to not internalize this. A book was suggested by Dale Carnegie in another thread before it was locked which I should certainly check out.
Re: Job burnout - Keep grinding or change?
It's interesting (maybe distressing is a better word.....) how often posts regarding burnout pop up on bogleheads. It's a challenge for many (myself included!) esp in the phase of life where one is often hustling hard in their job to save $$ while trying to do what's right for themselves and their loved ones, whether children and/or aging parents. Stress galore.
FWIW, I was borderline burnout a few years ago (late 2017-early 2019), and yes, decided to quit my job because it was taking such a toll on my health (not sleeping well, irritable, not exercising, feeling hopeless etc etc). Wasn't putting in my best on the job, dealing with some toxic politics/individuals, and just wanted to get away. Definitely a "grass is greener" situation.
With some distance from my own situation, my main advice to anyone dealing with this would be to try to make the current job more tolerable first - look at how you manage time, delegate, set/pursue goals, align stakeholders, communicate etc. Don't look at your work email/phone at home in the evenings or weekends. Can you do more work at home M-F instead of commuting/travel and get some time back? Making some tweaks and setting boundaries can quickly change the flow and clear up some pain points. This is what I wish I had done first. What about an internal transfer to a different less stressful role within the company? (Maybe you are simply bored and need a change of scenery?) Does the company have a sabbatical policy? If finances allow, outsource any time bottlenecks at home (cleaning, yard work etc) so you can focus free time on family, exercise hobbies instead of chores.
My age was 39 when I left and with ~20 years still in front of me, there was no way I could just tough it out. I guess the OP is a few years ago now, but I’d suggest trying to grind it out another year or two and shore up finances (or less if the financial situation is stable), make a plan, and then consider making a jump if you can't still can't identify or resolve the underlying issues.
Equally if the job really is killing you, there is no shame in walking away IMHO. A long term grind just is not worth it on so many levels as others mentioned. That is the choice I made but in hindsight believe it could have been avoided if I’d addressed some issues earlier. Burnout is real - but make sure that’s what it really is, so you take the right next step.
FWIW, I was borderline burnout a few years ago (late 2017-early 2019), and yes, decided to quit my job because it was taking such a toll on my health (not sleeping well, irritable, not exercising, feeling hopeless etc etc). Wasn't putting in my best on the job, dealing with some toxic politics/individuals, and just wanted to get away. Definitely a "grass is greener" situation.
With some distance from my own situation, my main advice to anyone dealing with this would be to try to make the current job more tolerable first - look at how you manage time, delegate, set/pursue goals, align stakeholders, communicate etc. Don't look at your work email/phone at home in the evenings or weekends. Can you do more work at home M-F instead of commuting/travel and get some time back? Making some tweaks and setting boundaries can quickly change the flow and clear up some pain points. This is what I wish I had done first. What about an internal transfer to a different less stressful role within the company? (Maybe you are simply bored and need a change of scenery?) Does the company have a sabbatical policy? If finances allow, outsource any time bottlenecks at home (cleaning, yard work etc) so you can focus free time on family, exercise hobbies instead of chores.
My age was 39 when I left and with ~20 years still in front of me, there was no way I could just tough it out. I guess the OP is a few years ago now, but I’d suggest trying to grind it out another year or two and shore up finances (or less if the financial situation is stable), make a plan, and then consider making a jump if you can't still can't identify or resolve the underlying issues.
Equally if the job really is killing you, there is no shame in walking away IMHO. A long term grind just is not worth it on so many levels as others mentioned. That is the choice I made but in hindsight believe it could have been avoided if I’d addressed some issues earlier. Burnout is real - but make sure that’s what it really is, so you take the right next step.