A great father's day gift

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
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vg55
Posts: 27
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:55 am

A great father's day gift

Post by vg55 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:24 pm

My son and I have discussed finances since he was a boy.

When he was about 6 years old, I remember taking him to the local bank to get his own savings passbook. Then we would make trips to the bank to make a deposit or post his interest. At times, we would refuse to buy that all-important game or toy, so that he would have to save his money (e.g. gifts and odd jobs) until he could buy it for himself. At 16 he got his first job and pay check. We talked about the importance of paying himself first; and why he is paying into social security and medicare. When he graduated from college, he knew and accepted that it was his responsibility to make his own way. And he did just that.

Well, now he is 36 years old. Handsome, tall, smart, well-educated and well-traveled, employed and single.

He called me the other day to let me know that in addition to being debt free (e.g. no undergraduate loans; no law school loans; no loans at all); he has a $500,000 balance in his combined 401K and Roth IRA accounts. I am a proud Dad.

Having grown up in a family that lived paycheck to paycheck; teetered on the edge of bankruptcy multiple times; and flirted with loan sharks: it is a great feeling to know that, like myself, my son has not been shackled by debt, interest payments, and excessive consumerism.

That phone call was a terrific father's day gift. Much better than another tie.

My advice to young mothers and fathers: start your children's financial education early with digestible lessons, and you will put them on the path to financial independence.

not4me
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by not4me » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:47 pm

good reminder/advice...another would be for those who still can, do make a call (or more) this week to financial mentors (especially if their father) & say "thanks"

seashell
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by seashell » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 am

This is great! Congratulations.

You should write a book. You have a great story.

Happy Father's Day!

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gasdoc
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by gasdoc » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:35 am

I sent a copy of this thread to our daughter.... Thanks!

gasdoc

Loik098
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by Loik098 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:01 pm

vg55 wrote:
Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:24 pm

Well, now he is 36 years old. Handsome, tall, smart, well-educated and well-traveled, employed and single.
All the single ladies, listen up.

vg55
Posts: 27
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:55 am

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by vg55 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm

I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.

kaeltor
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by kaeltor » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm

vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.

vg55
Posts: 27
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:55 am

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by vg55 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:27 pm

That's true. But remember, net worth won't make you a cup of tea and some toast when you are sick; won't buy you a great bottle of whiskey on your birthday and drink it with you; and net worth won't take your side in an argument just because they love you. Some things money can't buy. If you find your soulmate -- that's the ticket!

staythecourse
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by staythecourse » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:44 pm

kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
Oh man. The point of having money is to enjoy life with the folks you love and NOT to just accrue as many zeros as you can. IF you really feel like that I re-valuate my life.

Back to the OP... great post. Felt like a Hallmark moment (meant as compliment). Great to see you guys have such a great relationship and nearly 42 I wish I had one like that with my own Dad.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

PFInterest
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by PFInterest » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:48 pm

kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
getting married was the #1 contributor to my wealth....having 2 incomes helps a lot.

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black jack
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by black jack » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:15 pm

PFInterest wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:48 pm
kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
getting married was the #1 contributor to my wealth....having 2 incomes helps a lot.
Don't be scared of getting married; it has many non-financial benefits. Be scared of getting divorced.

Getting divorced was the #1 destroyer of my wealth (legally "our" wealth, and so I regarded it until she told me she wanted a divorce; we were a one-income family for most of our marriage, so I earned most of it).

I think choosing a spouse is like choosing an active investment fund manager: there are spouses you can count on, and ones you can't, and I don't know how you can know which is which in advance. For 19 years I thought I'd picked one I could count on.
We cannot absolutely prove [that they are wrong who say] that we have seen our best days. But so said all who came before us, and with just as much apparent reason. | -T. B. Macaulay (1800-1859)

kaeltor
Posts: 104
Joined: Sat May 12, 2018 11:20 am

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by kaeltor » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:15 pm

black jack wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:15 pm
PFInterest wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:48 pm
kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
getting married was the #1 contributor to my wealth....having 2 incomes helps a lot.
Don't be scared of getting married; it has many non-financial benefits. Be scared of getting divorced.

Getting divorced was the #1 destroyer of my wealth (legally "our" wealth, and so I regarded it until she told me she wanted a divorce; we were a one-income family for most of our marriage, so I earned most of it).

I think choosing a spouse is like choosing an active investment fund manager: there are spouses you can count on, and ones you can't, and I don't know how you can know which is which in advance. For 19 years I thought I'd picked one I could count on.
I am sorry to hear your situation... but your story is very scary to me,

Darth Xanadu
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Location: Middle Earth

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by Darth Xanadu » Wed Jun 13, 2018 1:53 pm

vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
The guy has his act together AND found a partner who enjoys cribbage?! He really is enjoying the good life! Happy (early) Father's Day, OP :beer

EDIT: My little boy is not yet 8 months old. I'll take your advice, and hope to share my (his) own story of success on BH some day.
"A courageous teacher, failure is."

barberakb
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Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:14 pm

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by barberakb » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:15 pm

kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
I waited until 28 to get married and 30 to have kids. When we got married we both said we didn't want any kids.

I am now 40 with 2 kids and while it is harder to save because you have mouths to feed it is well worth it and is easily doable
if your priorities are straight.

Don't let it scare you. I can tell you from experience. I NEVER wanted kids, they just happened.

With that said, I would not sell or give up my kids for ANY amount of money. They are priceless. And while they will anger you and try your patience, the other tangible stuff they provide you in your life is priceless.

The hugs after a hard days work, that tiny voice asking you to play catch or read a book before bedtime.

Those little copies of you that you helped create looking at you and saying I love you.

You won't fully understand until you experience it.

Glockenspiel
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by Glockenspiel » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:19 pm

kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
I’m 33 and getting married to the smart well-educated woman that I married was the best thing that happened to my net worth. It doesn’t hurt that she makes 25% more than me. 😉

CnC
Posts: 552
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by CnC » Thu Jun 14, 2018 3:27 pm

kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
Not if you marry the right woman!
As a family we can save 75k+ a year and the expenses are not near double.

I got married at 23 have 2 children and a net worth of nearly 700k (incl house) I couldn't have done all that without my wife by my side.

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tennisplyr
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Location: Sarasota, FL

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by tennisplyr » Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:41 am

Great post! Yes young people have the great benefit of time, why not take advantage of it!
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.

latesaver
Posts: 94
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by latesaver » Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:53 am

vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:27 pm
That's true. But remember, net worth won't make you a cup of tea and some toast when you are sick; won't buy you a great bottle of whiskey on your birthday and drink it with you; and net worth won't take your side in an argument just because they love you. Some things money can't buy. If you find your soulmate -- that's the ticket!
My wife doesn't do any of these either.

kaeltor
Posts: 104
Joined: Sat May 12, 2018 11:20 am

Re: A great father's day gift

Post by kaeltor » Fri Jun 15, 2018 9:58 am

CnC wrote:
Thu Jun 14, 2018 3:27 pm
kaeltor wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:14 pm
vg55 wrote:
Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm
I mentioned his status as single because it can be relevant to net worth. IMHO, I think it can be more difficult for a married couple with children to accrue wealth. A spouse and children adds variables.

BTW: He has a very nice girlfriend. Great gal. Really like her. Pretty good cribbage player.
This is the scary part for me as a 27 year old... getting married and slowing down my wealth accrual process significantly.
Not if you marry the right woman!
As a family we can save 75k+ a year and the expenses are not near double.

I got married at 23 have 2 children and a net worth of nearly 700k (incl house) I couldn't have done all that without my wife by my side.
Dude you won the lottery though, it's really hard to find a reliable woman my age... cheating is basically built into the culture nowadays and even celebrated by feminists... oh well.

Dottie57
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Re: A great father's day gift

Post by Dottie57 » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:52 am

Slightly different view. My parents never had explicit talks with us kids. However they did talk finances / bills over the dinner table. We learned from example. My only point is that kids absorb life lessons in many ways.

OP - happy father’s day. You did your work well!

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