125K Spend - Would you do this ?

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confusedinvestor
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125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:46 pm

Folks, As I'm not sure who should I reach out to get an objective opinion/advise on my dilemma, so
I thought I'd reached out to my BH community, I apologize if this is bit personal, yet a big financial
decision.

My issue is I cant yet decide if this is a real need or a want or a wish and if I can really afford this.

Background: After my major surgery 1 yr back, I still have on-off-pain where I'd wake up in middle of night (toss/turn) impacting my spouse sleep as well.sadly, we dont have a 4th bedroom where I can sleep if I wake up, so, I want to add a downstairs 4th BR for such nights so I dont impact my spouse or my sleep.
It will cost us 125K approx, given we are in SoCal area. I have put this off for a year, hoping my night sleeplessness/toss-turn will improve but it's not happening. So I feel I have a need for this 4th BR vs it is a want or wish. Other 2 rooms are taken by my kids both 8 yrs old and we have a small home, that what we can afford.

Given this, would you consider this 4th BR addition a Need ?

Here are multiple cons on this 125K Spend 4BR addition:

- Loss of 125K in return of my sleep (when my pain increases middle of night)
- Addition on existing 30 yrs old home is always challenging, desing never flows well
- Addition takes over 6-8 months, major impact on my kids with construction dust
- Cant afford to sell our current 3 BR home to buy a 4 BR home in our neighborhood, given realtor fees would be $50K
- 40% Loss of Taxable portfolio, and overall 10% loss of Total Portfolio with this 125K "need" spend
- This will push our FI (Financial Independence) by 2-3 yrs from 55 yrs to 57/58 yrs
- This will impact overall Retirement success rate from current 78% to 74% (MonteCarlo sucess rates)

Only advantage of this 125K worth 4th BR where I can spend my half nights when I wake up in pain/toss-turn

What would you do if you were me, given my situation ?
Last edited by confusedinvestor on Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:01 am, edited 2 times in total.

golfCaddy
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by golfCaddy » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:50 pm

Are both kids the same sex? If so, have them share a room.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:58 pm

No, 1 boy 1 girl - twins - they are 8 now and their room is small too...

these days, on such nights, i sleep with my son but he says ' i am uncomfortable daddy'

golfCaddy wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:50 pm
Are both kids the same sex? If so, have them share a room.

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celia
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by celia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:00 am

There are other options besides adding a bedroom or not.

1. Put an additional bed in the bedroom you share with your spouse. One (or both) bed(s) could be a twin. If you need more room than that, how about a double for one? Your spouse definitely NEEDS a good night's sleep so that should be the primary goal. Would you sleep better in an adjustable hospital bed?

2. Can the kids share a room for a while until you see if you get better? Could one of them (or one of you) sleep in the den for a while?

3. Do you have any other small rooms like a laundry or pantry you could temporarily use as a bedroom?

4. Have you talked to your doctor about this? Maybe there is something better you can take for the pain.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:10 am

Celia, Thanks for your suggestions. sadly, our bed rooms are also small, we have a 1600 sql home, no pantry, laundry in garage, another options would be to put a futon bed in our living room.

Yes, my top priority is to give my spouse a good night sleep.

I still cant justify deep down to spend this 125K 4th BR as a "life need" for next 10-11 yrs until kids get to collage and I'd work 2 yrs extra so retire 57 vs 55.

Celia, What would you do if you were me, given this situation ?
celia wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:00 am
There are other options besides adding a bedroom or not.

1. Put an additional bed in the bedroom you share with your spouse. One (or both) bed(s) could be a twin. If you need more room than that, how about a double for one? Your spouse definitely NEEDS a good night's sleep so that should be the primary goal. Would you sleep better in an adjustable hospital bed?

2. Can the kids share a room for a while until you see if you get better? Could one of them (or one of you) sleep in the den for a while?

3. Do you have any other small rooms like a laundry or pantry you could temporarily use as a bedroom?

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:12 am

yes, under care of 2 docs, they gave me sleep meds yet i wake up with on/off pain and sometime talk even if I am sleeping per my spouse and impacts here sleep. so i think we need a separate room. we are in a tough spot.
celia wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:00 am

4. Have you talked to your doctor about this? Maybe there is something better you can take for the pain.

letsgobobby
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by letsgobobby » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:14 am

do you have space to put a pop up camper in the driveway? We use a (larger) trailer as a guest bedroom.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:17 am

thanks, surely can put a trailer at backyard, that could be a better option vs 125K BR add.
letsgobobby wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:14 am
do you have space to put a pop up camper in the driveway? We use a (larger) trailer as a guest bedroom.

letsgobobby
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by letsgobobby » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:30 am

confusedinvestor wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:17 am
thanks, surely can put a trailer at backyard, that could be a better option vs 125K BR add.
letsgobobby wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:14 am
do you have space to put a pop up camper in the driveway? We use a (larger) trailer as a guest bedroom.
plus trailers are more fun for camping than 4th bedrooms, which are very... stationary.

delamer
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by delamer » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:33 am

Here are a couple options:

1. A recliner. (I have a friend with back pain who often sleeps in one.)
2. A sleep sofa.
3. Murphy bed in your living/family room.
4. Bunk beds or a trundle bed in your son’s room. (If that wouldn’t disturb his sleep.)

I’d at least explore those options before doing the addition.

stuper1
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by stuper1 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:05 am

Daughter can sleep with mom. You sleep in daughter's room.

Or put two twin beds in you and wife's bedroom for you and her.

Lot's of different options to try before you drop $125k.

zlltt
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by zlltt » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:26 am

you will end with a low cost alternative solution.
maybe a easy pull sofa bed in living room

BTW
I admire your complete rigorous and earnest problem analysis and thinking style.

Cruise
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Cruise » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:50 am

If I was in as much pain as you and my medical condition was negatively impacting my spouse, I would spend as much needed to secure relief from the situation.

You have some low-cost alternatives that the community has suggested. If they don't/can't work, bite the bullet and make the renovations or sell your house and buy a bigger one.

I think that while your frugality is commendable, the priority has to be personal and familial comfort.

Good luck.

minimalistmarc
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by minimalistmarc » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:31 am

What about one of those electric beds where each half is separately adjustable. I’m sure I saw an advert for one of those recently.

Do you want your own bed so you can stretch out or toss and turn a lot?

Maybe even a high grade mattress topper you can put on the living room floor would do?

student
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by student » Sat Jun 02, 2018 5:37 am

zlltt wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:26 am
you will end with a low cost alternative solution.
maybe a easy pull sofa bed in living room
+1.

Silverado
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Silverado » Sat Jun 02, 2018 5:53 am

I am trying to understand how any of these ideas are going to help you? For sure getting the spouse better sleep is a high priority, but what do you need for your sleep? I haven't seen what you features will specifically help you. As mentioned above, do you just need some space to flip and flop without fear of waking spouse? A place to be able to moan a bit? Or just confidence that you aren't waking others?

OnTrack2020
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by OnTrack2020 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 7:34 am

We have rather large oversize furniture in our living room. When my husband has had surgery in the past, couldn't get comfortable and needed to be up walking every few hours, he slept in one of the oversized chairs with an ottoman. It worked great.

However, the concern here is that you have a 1600 square foot house and not sure how long the pain will continue. I agree with others who have said "no" to the 4th bedroom. Rather, try and find a piece of very comfortable furniture to place in your living room to go to when you are having pain and don't want to disturb others. You could try out one of the oversize power recliners and spend under $1500 versus the expense and construction headache of $125,000. Try it out and make sure you are comfortable with an option like this. Keep blanket/pillow nearby to ease the transition of moving from the bedroom to the living room.

wrongfunds
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by wrongfunds » Sat Jun 02, 2018 7:45 am

What are you going to do for the 6-8 months of total disruption of your normal life while new bedroom is being built? I don't think it is a cost issue but rather hassle issue. Explorer other opportunities which will not or minimally disrupt your family's daily life.

GoofyOne
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by GoofyOne » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:41 am

How much will this increase the value of the property?

Is this your forever home? As you age, there is great benefit of a bedroom on the main floor such that you don't have to constantly go up and down stairs.

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Pajamas
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Pajamas » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:10 am

Before spending $125k to add a bedroom and sleep apart from your spouse, you might consider making further efforts to address the medical issues. Seems like you have a back problem, a pain problem, and a sleep problem. You have probably seen specialists for your back, but not for pain or sleep.

Also consider what kind of mattress and pillows you are sleeping with. A dense latex or memory foam mattress and the right pillow can make all the difference in the world in situations like yours, speaking from personal experience.

JakeyLee
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by JakeyLee » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:18 am

So sorry to hear of your chronic pain. Might I offer a easy solution that has seemed to save many couples? Invest in a hight end bed. It doesn't matter what the materials/style is per se (memory foam, spring, air, etc.)... No, what you want is a large bed that is technically two mattresses. They push together seamlessly... Even share the same frame. They both share the same bottom sheet, or top sheet for that matter. With this set-up, you could jump up and down on your side, and spouse would feel next to nothing.

If you are one of those guys that pulls blankets inn the middle of the night, you could use separate twin sets (or whatever appropriate size). Just a thought. Good luck!

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Cycle
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Cycle » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:26 am

When touring rental properties to buy, I've seen how many people don't have beds, they just sleep on a comforter on the floor and sit on 5 gallon buckets.

There's a guy in my local minimalist Meetup that just sleeps on a mattress on the floor, as where he is from that is typical and he doesn't see the point of buying a bed frame bc preferences are different here. He's single.

You are not bucket people though, so you could easily afford a hide-a-way bed, two twins in the master, twin bed in the basement, etc. I wouldn't add a basement bedroom.

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celia
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by celia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:40 am

Whatever you do, a sofa bed will not help. Their mattresses are only about 2" thick so they can roll into the couch. It doesn't take long before you feel the metal frame that holds the mattress. We've stopped using AirBnbs that only have a sofa bed. We need a real bed.

I've slept all night in a recliner couch/chair after surgeries. That was even more comfortable than my bed. The main drawback is that you can't sleep on your stomach. You will probably slide down a bit while in it so that your hips end up in the middle of the seat instead of in the spot where the back and seat meet.

If you get a recliner chair, that might even fit in an upstairs bedroom. But you probably would want one that is roomier from side to side so you can sometimes sleep on your side.

ssquared87
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by ssquared87 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:07 pm

Rather than building another room, I'd look for opinions from other doctors about what could be done about your pain.

I understand where you are coming from, I have trouble sleeping as a result of an injury. I'd much rather find a way to alleviate my pain than deal with it.

basspond
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by basspond » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:26 pm

You are trying to fix a symptom, not the problem. Work with doctor to manage your pain. Are you still in therapy? Work with doctor to ensure if you do therapy it doesn’t aggravate the problem.

My personal experience I have had back pain but no surgery. I have done exercises that have strengthened my core and used rollers. The pain hasn’t entirely gone away but it has made it very manageable.

Sandi_k
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Sandi_k » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:31 pm

As someone who also suffers from chronic pain that messes with my sleep, several things have helped.

- A better mattress. We had one made, where we could each pick the firmness we preferred for our side. Mine has more latex, DH has more gel. For a queen, cost was ~ $1,000.

- A better set of pillows - sometimes, including a full body pillow, so I can sleep on my side with the knee elevated to hip height.

- A low dosage, old-school antidepressant at bedtime. Research shows that chronic pain interferes with REM, and taking a low dosage at bedtime changes how the brain processes pain - allowing you to sleep more than 4-5 hours at a stretch, and allowing you to actually go back to sleep. My doc prescribed Elavil. Non-narcotic, and non-rebound effects, unlike Ambien and other "sleep meds."

- Regular stretching daily. Earplugs. Cooler bedroom.

hoops777
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by hoops777 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:39 pm

You can fit 2 twin beds in your bedroom easily and just put them next to each other like one larger bed.Pretty simple solution.They also make adjustable beds that go side by side if you need that.Your movements will not disturb your wife in either case.
Last edited by hoops777 on Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

Dottie57
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Dottie57 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:41 pm

minimalistmarc wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:31 am
What about one of those electric beds where each half is separately adjustable. I’m sure I saw an advert for one of those recently.

Do you want your own bed so you can stretch out or toss and turn a lot?

Maybe even a high grade mattress topper you can put on the living room floor would do?

About the electric beds. Sleep number has this. I believe tempupedic does too.

ResearchMed
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by ResearchMed » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:49 pm

Perhaps I missed this, but is it "just" the tossing/turning, or is it also the noise or light (if you decide to read, etc.)?

If the former, then twin beds might really help, even set side by side almost like a king.

If it's the "commotion" - and for some light sleepers, "commotion" could be quite minor - then how about looking for a *very* high end sleep sofa? You should be able to find one that has a *good* mattress.

Or... look for a very high end sofa, one that is very deep (I'm referring to the distance from front edge to back support).
You'd want some extra pillows/cushions when it's used for sitting, or it wouldn't be comfortable.
This can be almost like a twin bed.
If you prefer, put a thin yoga mat on top when it's used as a bed to reduce some wear and tear of the fabric.
Obviously, you'd use a sheet, perhaps with mattress pad, anyway.
These sofas can be *comfortable*.
And although they are pricey, they are a LOT less than adding a bedroom.
Or a top quality Murphy bed, with a *good* mattress. Would look like a nice cabinet during the day. Advantage, it can remain made up as a bed... just lower it or put it back up.
(We had one of these when we rented a high end vacation rental. It didn't need to the space, but it was used when a renter didn't really need a bedroom. The elegant LR had this lovely cabinet... and then... it was a queen bed!

The other thought is a power recliner, again high end (this will be your *bed* after all!), one that reclines *flat*, so you can sleep in any position.
If you try one in the store, make sure you put it all the way flat, and then try all sleep positions. Is there room for you to curl your knees up, or is it too narrow, etc.

Good luck.
You BOTH need good quality sleep.

RM
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letsgobobby
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by letsgobobby » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:02 pm

Bunk bed?

Kelmscott
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Kelmscott » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:08 pm

Get a split King. Two separate frames. Two separate mattresses/platforms/box springs. You won't feel anything when the other moves/gets up. You can personalize the layers on each side -- firm on one side, soft on the other, etc.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:38 pm

Thanks you everyone for all the good suggestions.

My DW is a light sleeper and when i do 'ooh-aah' during my pain even during my sleep, it bothers her, so i have to park myself in a different area of our house, until i fully recover, assuming if i will ever. this Major surgery changed my life. I am now thinking this 125K 4BR is a life need vs my wants/wish.

DW and I spoke long this weekend and we are now seriously re-considering this 4BR addition with 125K. Yes, it will impact our retirement a bit (reduce from 78% to 74% success rate) and delay Financial Independence by 2 years but we thought our next 11 yrs (until our twins go to collage) is important to our lives, yes, having an extra BR is an very expensive solution. Sadly, we dont have much space in our current home to put a good Murphy bed or just a mattress for my sleep.

I'll try to do this BR addition by being my own general contractor vs hiring a general contractor and that way i can perhaps save some $ and maybe get it done in 100K or less vs 125K, yes, i will be taking risks and it will be very hard on me for next 9 months during the build process. I will try our best to cut corners in other areas of life but good sleep in a life need.

Hope everyone is having a better weekend vs us.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:39 pm

Amen to this.

You BOTH need good quality sleep.

RM

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:43 pm

Yes, I see my GI every month and try out new meds, i wish things were better for us. thanks again for your kind words
basspond wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:26 pm
You are trying to fix a symptom, not the problem. Work with doctor to manage your pain. Are you still in therapy? Work with doctor to ensure if you do therapy it doesn’t aggravate the problem.

My personal experience I have had back pain but no surgery. I have done exercises that have strengthened my core and used rollers. The pain hasn’t entirely gone away but it has made it very manageable.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:45 pm

I have major GI issues, my colon was removed a year back. and now i developed new symptoms. Under meds.
Pajamas wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:10 am
Before spending $125k to add a bedroom and sleep apart from your spouse, you might consider making further efforts to address the medical issues. Seems like you have a back problem, a pain problem, and a sleep problem. You have probably seen specialists for your back, but not for pain or sleep.

Also consider what kind of mattress and pillows you are sleeping with. A dense latex or memory foam mattress and the right pillow can make all the difference in the world in situations like yours, speaking from personal experience.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:47 pm

That is what my DH said today. and Yes, we have the $ in Taxable, noting taking a loan/debt/HELOC. i will try to reduce the cost. and maybe recoupe the cost, if we sell the home, given the addition will increase the property value.
Cruise wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:50 am
If I was in as much pain as you and my medical condition was negatively impacting my spouse, I would spend as much needed to secure relief from the situation.

You have some low-cost alternatives that the community has suggested. If they don't/can't work, bite the bullet and make the renovations or sell your house and buy a bigger one.

I think that while your frugality is commendable, the priority has to be personal and familial comfort.

Good luck.

Prov227
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Prov227 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:48 pm

confusedinvestor wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:46 pm
I want to add a downstairs 4th BR for such nights so I dont impact my spouse or my sleep.
Just to confirm, "downstairs" means 1st floor / main level addition, right? Not a basement? (Obviously, if you had a basement, you could set up a makeshift sleeping quarters there without needing a $125K remodel...)
"...and the borrower is slave to the lender." -Proverbs 22:7

junior
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by junior » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:10 pm

You can sleep on the floor downstairs on a small mattress that you otherwise keep in storage. No boxspring/ frame needed if you prop it up during the day to air it out.

bluelight
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by bluelight » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:30 pm

Is the 125K, 6 to 8 month time frame a guess or have you had estimates? I added a large family room with a 1/2 bath to my previous house for 50K and it took a little under 3 months start to finish. As you are adding a room to the house, much of the work can be done in an area that can be be closed off from your current house, minimizing the dust.

Another option is a twin beds for your bedroom and a white noise machine.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:42 pm

Yup, main-level "backyard" addition. we dont have basements
Prov227 wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:48 pm
confusedinvestor wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:46 pm
I want to add a downstairs 4th BR for such nights so I dont impact my spouse or my sleep.
Just to confirm, "downstairs" means 1st floor / main level addition, right? Not a basement? (Obviously, if you had a basement, you could set up a makeshift sleeping quarters there without needing a $125K remodel...)

WorkToLive
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by WorkToLive » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:43 pm

I would put a bunk bed in my sons room, perhaps a double on the bottom and twin for him on the top. Kids generally sleep more deeply and you could give yourself some mkre time to decide.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:45 pm

We are in SoCal, yes, i got few estimates from contractors. they said 6-8 month for this 400 sq addition.

White noise machine sounds interesting, i'll give this a shot first with a recliner as many folks suggested.
bluelight wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:30 pm
Is the 125K, 6 to 8 month time frame a guess or have you had estimates? I added a large family room with a 1/2 bath to my previous house for 50K and it took a little under 3 months start to finish. As you are adding a room to the house, much of the work can be done in an area that can be be closed off from your current house, minimizing the dust.

Another option is a twin beds for your bedroom and a white noise machine.

confusedinvestor
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by confusedinvestor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:52 pm

This is excellent option we should seriously consider. My son's room can fit a queen bed too.
thanks again for this.
WorkToLive wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:43 pm
I would put a bunk bed in my sons room, perhaps a double on the bottom and twin for him on the top. Kids generally sleep more deeply and you could give yourself some mkre time to decide.

Katietsu
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by Katietsu » Sun Jun 03, 2018 3:13 am

confusedinvestor wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:10 am
another options would be to put a futon bed in our living room.
If you want to look into this option, check out Otis futon mattresses. They make products for both the consumer and medical market.

fourwheelcycle
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by fourwheelcycle » Sun Jun 03, 2018 5:20 am

[quote=ResearchMed
Or... look for a very high end sofa, one that is very deep (I'm referring to the distance from front edge to back support).
You'd want some extra pillows/cushions when it's used for sitting, or it wouldn't be comfortable.
This can be almost like a twin bed.
[/quote]

We have a corduroy sofa in our den that is 27" deep and 78" long when you remove the three back cushions and the two end cushions. We have used it for overflow guests (like sisters and brothers, not visiting dignitaries) and they have found it very comfortable. It has only been used with sleeping bags, never made up with sheets like a real bed.

We also have a very nice leather reclining chair that we have both used during the past when various back or leg injuries made it too painful or uncomfortable to sleep, or sleep a full night, in our regular bed.

lazydavid
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by lazydavid » Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:57 am

Can you buy a larger house with a 4th bedroom for the $125k incremental cost vis a vis your current house?

Otherwise, lots of good suggestions here. I would definitely look into a high-end recliner that can be used as a chair during the day, and switch into a lie-flat or zero-gravity position when you need it at night. Even if this solution ultimately doesn't work for you, you still get a great recliner out of it, so the money isn't wasted. I sometimes have to get up in the middle of the night due to severe neck pain, and often I can find a position in our powered recliner that allows me to sleep with less pain. I snore horribly when sleeping on my back, but since I'm at the other end of the house it doesn't matter.

We're also looking into the adjustable beds, to help with both the snoring and the neck/back pain issues. A good pillow is also essential, and extremely difficult to find.

wilshuer
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by wilshuer » Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:25 am

confusedinvestor wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:52 pm
This is excellent option we should seriously consider. My son's room can fit a queen bed too.
thanks again for this.
WorkToLive wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:43 pm
I would put a bunk bed in my sons room, perhaps a double on the bottom and twin for him on the top. Kids generally sleep more deeply and you could give yourself some mkre time to decide.
This was going to be my suggestion too, and your son will probably think it’s “cool” camping on the upper level. Personally we’re in a similar situation, although I’m the spouse that isn’t having insomnia - DW has severe back problems and many nights ends up in our guest bedroom. When we have guests I’ll usually end up on our bedroom floor to get a good nights sleep.

I hope you find a short term solution and long term solution is back to a good nights sleep.

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unclescrooge
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by unclescrooge » Sun Jun 03, 2018 11:21 am

lazydavid wrote:
Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:57 am
Can you buy a larger house with a 4th bedroom for the $125k incremental cost vis a vis your current house?

Otherwise, lots of good suggestions here. I would definitely look into a high-end recliner that can be used as a chair during the day, and switch into a lie-flat or zero-gravity position when you need it at night. Even if this solution ultimately doesn't work for you, you still get a great recliner out of it, so the money isn't wasted. I sometimes have to get up in the middle of the night due to severe neck pain, and often I can find a position in our powered recliner that allows me to sleep with less pain. I snore horribly when sleeping on my back, but since I'm at the other end of the house it doesn't matter.

We're also looking into the adjustable beds, to help with both the snoring and the neck/back pain issues. A good pillow is also essential, and extremely difficult to find.
Not in California. Prop 13 puts a call on pr a property taxes making it a better deal to do the addition.

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unclescrooge
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by unclescrooge » Sun Jun 03, 2018 11:25 am

confusedinvestor wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:46 pm
Folks, As I'm not sure who should I reach out to get an objective opinion/advise on my dilemma, so
I thought I'd reached out to my BH community, I apologize if this is bit personal, yet a big financial
decision.

My issue is I cant yet decide if this is a real need or a want or a wish and if I can really afford this.

Background: After my major surgery 1 yr back, I still have on-off-pain where I'd wake up in middle of night (toss/turn) impacting my spouse sleep as well.sadly, we dont have a 4th bedroom where I can sleep if I wake up, so, I want to add a downstairs 4th BR for such nights so I dont impact my spouse or my sleep.
It will cost us 125K approx, given we are in SoCal area. I have put this off for a year, hoping my night sleeplessness/toss-turn will improve but it's not happening. So I feel I have a need for this 4th BR vs it is a want or wish. Other 2 rooms are taken by my kids both 8 yrs old and we have a small home, that what we can afford.

Given this, would you consider this 4th BR addition a Need ?

Here are multiple cons on this 125K Spend 4BR addition:

- Loss of 125K in return of my sleep (when my pain increases middle of night)
- Addition on existing 30 yrs old home is always challenging, desing never flows well
- Addition takes over 6-8 months, major impact on my kids with construction dust
- Cant afford to sell our current 3 BR home to buy a 4 BR home in our neighborhood, given realtor fees would be $50K
- 40% Loss of Taxable portfolio, and overall 10% loss of Total Portfolio with this 125K "need" spend
- This will push our FI (Financial Independence) by 2-3 yrs from 55 yrs to 57/58 yrs
- This will impact overall Retirement success rate from current 78% to 74% (MonteCarlo sucess rates)

Only advantage of this 125K worth 4th BR where I can spend my half nights when I wake up in pain/toss-turn

What would you do if you were me, given my situation ?
Do you have a memory foam mattress? This might help you get a better night's sleep and also prevent your tossing from walking up the spouse.

If you get it from Costco, you can ask them to pick it up if it doesn't work for you.

That being said, I would definitely don't the money if it was the only solution. But as others have mentioned, look into sofa bed solutions first.

hoops777
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Re: 125K Spend - Would you do this ?

Post by hoops777 » Sun Jun 03, 2018 12:06 pm

fourwheelcycle wrote:
Sun Jun 03, 2018 5:20 am
[quote=ResearchMed
Or... look for a very high end sofa, one that is very deep (I'm referring to the distance from front edge to back support).
You'd want some extra pillows/cushions when it's used for sitting, or it wouldn't be comfortable.
This can be almost like a twin bed.
We have a corduroy sofa in our den that is 27" deep and 78" long when you remove the three back cushions and the two end cushions. We have used it for overflow guests (like sisters and brothers, not visiting dignitaries) and they have found it very comfortable. It has only been used with sleeping bags, never made up with sheets like a real bed.

We also have a very nice leather reclining chair that we have both used during the past when various back or leg injuries made it too painful or uncomfortable to sleep, or sleep a full night, in our regular bed.
[/quote]

9 months to add a br is ridiculous.125,000 is pretty pricey.You need to do a better job of shopping around in my opinion.I do not want to sound insensitive because I have been where you are at for a shorter length of time,but I find it difficult to believe that there is nowhere in your house you can put a bed to sleep and not disturb your wife,especially for a limited time.
In addition,a pair of earplugs for your wife would cost how much to save her from the noise you make?A lot less than 125,000 :D
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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