Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

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jack1234
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Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Wed May 02, 2018 10:28 pm

This is a personal question and I’d love to know everyone’s thoughts.
I recently got a new job where I’m making a steady income and a higher income.
I’ve been living at home bc I simply couldn’t afford rent before and my aunt was sick so I was taking care of her But she’s better now and I like my family - we get along.
But I’m older now - almost 35- and in the past year I’ve been feeling very strongly about moving out again.
Just for reference, I went away for college for four years and lived in nyc for several years on my own with roommates and alone so I have been very independent for most of my life but by the age of 28 my aunt got sick and I moved back home to help the family out (driving to doctors appointments, household help, etc). I love my family but I’m also independent and only moved back to help out and I am grateful for them letting me stay after she got better, etc... I’m just sooo much happier living on my own.

The issue is that rent is very high in this area- about $2500. I don’t have enough to buy a house. I have been ready to leave this living situation for the past 2 years- I value my independence and love living alone. But I never made a salary to justify that move.

Now I’m finally making that salary.

So I can either
1. Move out and after paying $2500 a month in rent and other expenses have a few hundred left over to invest (after contributing to the 401k)

Or

2. Stay here another year, suck it up, and save over $30,000 in one year which is a nice start to a nest egg and I can invest that although it would have to be in a taxable brokerage account.

golfCaddy
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by golfCaddy » Wed May 02, 2018 10:31 pm

I can't imagine still living with the rents at 35. It's your aunt, but still ...

jacoavlu
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jacoavlu » Wed May 02, 2018 10:36 pm

your prior post said you had like $125k in a brokerage, plus some money in retirement accounts, plus an emergency fund in place. What would another $30k do? You should move out. Doesn't mean you should pay $2,500 in rent, but you should move out. I'd look further and find someplace cheaper to rent, or buy if your income is truly stable.

SR II
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by SR II » Wed May 02, 2018 10:52 pm

golfCaddy wrote:
Wed May 02, 2018 10:31 pm
I can't imagine still living with the rents at 35. It's your aunt, but still ...
I can't imagine still living with the rents at 35 (with a good job) and not paying rent to the rents!

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yangtui
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by yangtui » Thu May 03, 2018 12:08 am

If you are happy living at home and your parents are happy to have you then stay. Everybody is different. $2500 a month goes a long way.

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Pajamas
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Pajamas » Thu May 03, 2018 12:13 am

What exactly is your living situation? Are you living with your aunt only in a house, or in a house with your parents only, or in a house with your parents and aunt and others, or in a small apartment with your aunt, do you have your own bedroom, is there any privacy, etc. Also does your aunt still need some help or is it likely that she might in the near or intermediate term?

$2,500 seems like a lot to pay if you have an acceptable living situation that is much less expensive, but living alone might be worth it to you anyway.

Maybe it's not an either this or that situation. You might be able to find a different living situation entirely that is not $2,500 and is not with your family, e.g., sharing an apartment with a roommate for $1,500 each.

123
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by 123 » Thu May 03, 2018 12:15 am

In some ethnic communities there are strong family ties that make it awkward and cumbersome to leave the family home until you marry. It doesn't seem like that is the situation here.

At age 35 it's time to move on with your life into your own space. If you don't do it now how much longer could you wait?

The cost of your own household is worth it.

You're not getting any younger.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

sport
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by sport » Thu May 03, 2018 12:48 am

If you can find a room mate, that would cut your cost roughly in half. That would make the decision much easier.

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wander
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by wander » Thu May 03, 2018 5:39 am

You should move out next month.

Glockenspiel
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Glockenspiel » Thu May 03, 2018 5:41 am

$2,500 is a lot. Is it possible to find an independent, working professional roommate of your own so your cost goes down to $1,250/month?

student
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by student » Thu May 03, 2018 5:42 am

It depends on whether your family likes you living there. I would say inform your family that you are thinking about leaving within a year to test the water. This gives you time to find a roommate if necessary and save money in the meantime. If they express interests in you living there longer and you also find the arrangement beneficial, then live there longer.

Minor edit.
Last edited by student on Thu May 03, 2018 5:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Tamarind
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Tamarind » Thu May 03, 2018 5:55 am

In most cultures and most times, what you've done the last few years would be the norm, so you don't need to feel weird about living at home. But it sounds like you're ready for a change. Living at home will always be the most frugal option, but money is just a tool to get the life you want.

I'd suggest you focus on this:

To what degree has living at home and caring for your aunt impacted your independence? How would you like for your life to change? What are some frugal ways to achieve that change?

DaufuskieNate
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by DaufuskieNate » Thu May 03, 2018 6:13 am

Live every moment as if it is your last. Imagine someone in your situation, except this ends up being the last year of their life. How would they want to live that last year?

Does this mean you should go on a wild spending spree? Of course not. That misses the point entirely. The point is that one can be fiscally responsible and live their life at the same time. Ask yourself if you may be leaning toward treating money as the goal. Then ask yourself what you would be doing if instead you were treating life as the goal.

UpperNwGuy
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by UpperNwGuy » Thu May 03, 2018 6:15 am

As a parent who has adult children about your age, my advice would be for you to move out.

mmmodem
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by mmmodem » Thu May 03, 2018 6:26 am

I can't imagine paying $2500 rent. I'd stay home as long as I possible and save as much money as I can. Only a few hundred leftover after contributing to a 401k doesn't sound like a lot.

I understand there is a negative stigma on a single independent 35 year old professional staying at home with parents. In my culture, it isn't unreasonable for an adult child to live at home until they are married. Meanwhile, they help out with the parents on household needs. Good luck on your choice.

money_bunny
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by money_bunny » Thu May 03, 2018 6:29 am

Depends on the game plan. I'm 38, moved out early but my family situation is pretty toxic. I wish I could have stayed at home to save more money when I was younger.

1. How is the commute to the new job from where you are living now? I have a friend who has a 2 hour each way commute. Even free rent might go against saving 4 hours a day in commuting. 2.5K a month is SF/NYC rent levels. You might do better with renting a room from someone or roommates situation on the cheap and going home on the weekends.

2. At 35 it may be a strike against you for dating if you are a male dealing with typical American culture. Having a game plan "I am saving money so that when I meet someone we have a house fund."

3. Probably not having people staying over at the parent's house.

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DaftInvestor
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by DaftInvestor » Thu May 03, 2018 6:43 am

or you could go with Option 3: Stay where you are but pay $1000 in rent to your parents (Plus your share of utilities if you aren't already paying utilities). You save $1500 monthly - they get $1000 monthly to offset your being there. Win-win.

JHU ALmuni
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by JHU ALmuni » Thu May 03, 2018 6:57 am

jack1234 wrote:
Wed May 02, 2018 10:28 pm
This is a personal question and I’d love to know everyone’s thoughts.
I recently got a new job where I’m making a steady income and a higher income.
I’ve been living at home bc I simply couldn’t afford rent before and my aunt was sick so I was taking care of her But she’s better now and I like my family - we get along.
But I’m older now - almost 35- and in the past year I’ve been feeling very strongly about moving out again.
Just for reference, I went away for college for four years and lived in nyc for several years on my own with roommates and alone so I have been very independent for most of my life but by the age of 28 my aunt got sick and I moved back home to help the family out (driving to doctors appointments, household help, etc). I love my family but I’m also independent and only moved back to help out and I am grateful for them letting me stay after she got better, etc... I’m just sooo much happier living on my own.

The issue is that rent is very high in this area- about $2500. I don’t have enough to buy a house. I have been ready to leave this living situation for the past 2 years- I value my independence and love living alone. But I never made a salary to justify that move.

Now I’m finally making that salary.

So I can either
1. Move out and after paying $2500 a month in rent and other expenses have a few hundred left over to invest (after contributing to the 401k)

Or

2. Stay here another year, suck it up, and save over $30,000 in one year which is a nice start to a nest egg and I can invest that although it would have to be in a taxable brokerage account.

$2,500 is a bit high, maybe you can find roommates to split the cost or just continue living with your aunt and save the money.

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Watty
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Watty » Thu May 03, 2018 7:08 am

I am assuming that both your aunt and you are living at your parents house or something like that.

One consideration I have not seen mentioned is that often people will downsize after their kids leave the big family home and use the freed up money to either retire earlier or to do things like travel. They might even want to move to a less expensive area.

If so it would be good to talk to your parents about the situation to get a clear understanding of what they want.

In addition to downsizing they might feel that since your aunt is doing better and you are not helping out so much that you should start paying rent to live with them.

You also need to think about what your long term plans are. Even if you had a lower paying job up until recently I would think that you were likely to still save a lot each year since you were not paying rent. If you have a nice nest egg you might be able to find a job in a much lower cost of living area and be able to buy a condo or small house for a reasonable amount.

sschoe2
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by sschoe2 » Thu May 03, 2018 8:05 am

I lived with my mom until she passed away earlier this year. I am 37. She needed my help doing errands and house chores due to mobility issues and I, in turn was able to help her out and save a ton of money. It worked out well for both of us.

BogleMelon
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by BogleMelon » Thu May 03, 2018 8:11 am

Or #3: Move out to LCOL area after finding another job there!
"One of the funny things about stock market, every time one is buying another is selling, and both think they are astute" - William Feather

SR II
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by SR II » Thu May 03, 2018 11:58 am

DaftInvestor wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 6:43 am
or you could go with Option 3: Stay where you are but pay $1000 in rent to your parents (Plus your share of utilities if you aren't already paying utilities). You save $1500 monthly - they get $1000 monthly to offset your being there. Win-win.
EXACTLY!

ETadvisor
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by ETadvisor » Thu May 03, 2018 1:48 pm

sport wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 12:48 am
If you can find a room mate, that would cut your cost roughly in half. That would make the decision much easier.
^ This, I am not sure what your future plan is such as marriage or starting a family but leaving the rent-free folks house to a nice 2/2 near the ocean for me was a great decision in hindsight. While still living home, I ran into an old school friend at the gym who was also still living with the folks. We were not much younger than you. We agreed to find a place with a max of paying $1,000 each including utilities and did. It was a bachelor pad and had tons of fun. Also saved money being single with the housing expenses being split. Not long after I met the future wife who was still living with her folks and I am sure she appreciated that I was independent and enjoyed visiting our pad.
Last edited by ETadvisor on Thu May 03, 2018 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

auggiedoggies
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by auggiedoggies » Thu May 03, 2018 2:18 pm

SR II wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 11:58 am
DaftInvestor wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 6:43 am
or you could go with Option 3: Stay where you are but pay $1000 in rent to your parents (Plus your share of utilities if you aren't already paying utilities). You save $1500 monthly - they get $1000 monthly to offset your being there. Win-win.
EXACTLY!

Considering OP specifically stated that he is so much happier living on his own, I don't even remotely see how this is a "win-win".

This happens all the time on this board. Someone comes here asking a question about living at home and people jump down their throat about paying rent and utilities. Some people are more than happy to have their kids living at home, and don't want any rent from them. Personally, I would feel weird collecting rent money from my kid for living in my house, no matter what their age is.

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Meaty
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Meaty » Thu May 03, 2018 2:21 pm

jack1234 wrote:
Wed May 02, 2018 10:28 pm
This is a personal question and I’d love to know everyone’s thoughts.
I recently got a new job where I’m making a steady income and a higher income.
I’ve been living at home bc I simply couldn’t afford rent before and my aunt was sick so I was taking care of her But she’s better now and I like my family - we get along.
But I’m older now - almost 35- and in the past year I’ve been feeling very strongly about moving out again.
Just for reference, I went away for college for four years and lived in nyc for several years on my own with roommates and alone so I have been very independent for most of my life but by the age of 28 my aunt got sick and I moved back home to help the family out (driving to doctors appointments, household help, etc). I love my family but I’m also independent and only moved back to help out and I am grateful for them letting me stay after she got better, etc... I’m just sooo much happier living on my own.

The issue is that rent is very high in this area- about $2500. I don’t have enough to buy a house. I have been ready to leave this living situation for the past 2 years- I value my independence and love living alone. But I never made a salary to justify that move.

Now I’m finally making that salary.

So I can either
1. Move out and after paying $2500 a month in rent and other expenses have a few hundred left over to invest (after contributing to the 401k)

Or

2. Stay here another year, suck it up, and save over $30,000 in one year which is a nice start to a nest egg and I can invest that although it would have to be in a taxable brokerage account.
You’re 35. You know the answer to this question. If $2500 is undoable given your income then find a roommate or 3.
"Discipline equals Freedom" - Jocko Willink

SR II
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by SR II » Thu May 03, 2018 2:34 pm

auggiedoggies wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:18 pm
SR II wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 11:58 am
DaftInvestor wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 6:43 am
or you could go with Option 3: Stay where you are but pay $1000 in rent to your parents (Plus your share of utilities if you aren't already paying utilities). You save $1500 monthly - they get $1000 monthly to offset your being there. Win-win.
EXACTLY!

<CLIP>Personally, I would feel weird collecting rent money from my kid for living in my house, no matter what their age is.
Not me! If my 35 year old "kid" or niece/nephew had a good job and lived with me, you bet they would be contributing monetarily to the household. The OP has to grow up and be the adult they are.

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TxAg
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by TxAg » Thu May 03, 2018 2:37 pm

Living at home probably puts a damper on your love/social life. Get out now!!!

Hulu
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Hulu » Thu May 03, 2018 2:42 pm

Your "sooooo" gave the answer. Enjoy some freedom!

I personally am from a "family" culture and love seeing parents. However it makes dating interesting bc it focused me on open and similarly minded people. Which is a good thing though sometimes not convenient.

staythecourse
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by staythecourse » Thu May 03, 2018 2:46 pm

As far as I am concerned there is NO WAY you should be living at home unless it is to personally care for a family member. There is no way you can continue to mature as a person unless you live alone. As empirical proof I am not sure I know anybody who is a success on a personal level (relationships, kids, etc...) OR professional (moved up the chain in responsibility, made more money, etc...) who lived at home. Do you?

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

GCD
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by GCD » Thu May 03, 2018 3:30 pm

You can rent anywhere for less than $2,500 a month. As a single male I rented a crappy apt. for $425 in San Francisco in 2000. I rented a slightly better studio apt in LA for $400 from 1996-2000. You don't have to pay that much. You can find a cheaper apt AND save money toward a house. Of course the quality of the living space is lower than what you are probably used to. But that's a choice. Your choice. Do what you want.

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Pajamas
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Pajamas » Thu May 03, 2018 3:34 pm

SR II wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:34 pm
Not me! If my 35 year old "kid" or niece/nephew had a good job and lived with me, you bet they would be contributing monetarily to the household. The OP has to grow up and be the adult they are.
That's not at all fair since the reason O.P. was living at home was to take care of the aunt. The family should be grateful for that. I didn't point out how respectable that is for a 35 year old to live at home to take care of a family member when living alone would be preferable, but it is worth noting, regardless of the financial issues.
GCD wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:30 pm
You can rent anywhere for less than $2,500 a month. As a single male I rented a crappy apt. for $425 in San Francisco in 2000. I rented a slightly better studio apt in LA for $400 from 1996-2000. You don't have to pay that much. You can find a cheaper apt AND save money toward a house. Of course the quality of the living space is lower than what you are probably used to. But that's a choice. Your choice. Do what you want.
The only way to get something that cheap these days in a city like San Francisco or NYC is in an illegal and dangerous SRO with bed bugs and that only works until the doors are padlocked by the fire department.
Last edited by Pajamas on Thu May 03, 2018 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

deikel
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by deikel » Thu May 03, 2018 3:38 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:46 pm
As far as I am concerned there is NO WAY you should be living at home unless it is to personally care for a family member. There is no way you can continue to mature as a person unless you live alone. As empirical proof I am not sure I know anybody who is a success on a personal level (relationships, kids, etc...) OR professional (moved up the chain in responsibility, made more money, etc...) who lived at home. Do you?

Good luck.
...about everyone...since kids usually live at home for a long time....just saying, I find these 'you have to live away from your parents to mature' arguments rather silly, sounds more like (a)social pressure to me. There are people living with relatives all over the world and some are mature and some are not - just like some folks living alone are rather...odd ?

30k a year in savings equals like 36-38k in salary difference. For some people that's a whole job in this country, so that would have me be quite tolerant of a lot of stuff going on at home....

The financials in this decision are pretty obvious (you stay and save), but its really a question of what you want to achieve with your life. Once a partner or a dream job in a different region show up your desire to stay at home might wane rather quickly anyway.
Everything you read in this post is my personal opinion. If you disagree with this disclaimer, please un-read the text immidiatly and destroy any copy or remembrance of it.

GCD
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by GCD » Thu May 03, 2018 4:06 pm

Pajamas wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:34 pm
GCD wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:30 pm
You can rent anywhere for less than $2,500 a month. As a single male I rented a crappy apt. for $425 in San Francisco in 2000. I rented a slightly better studio apt in LA for $400 from 1996-2000. You don't have to pay that much. You can find a cheaper apt AND save money toward a house. Of course the quality of the living space is lower than what you are probably used to. But that's a choice. Your choice. Do what you want.
The only way to get something that cheap these days in a city like San Francisco or NYC is in an illegal and dangerous SRO with bed bugs and that only works until the doors are padlocked by the fire department.
That's why I put dates in there. I was seriously focused on paying off my student loans and adjusted my lifestyle to what was left over after I made extra payments on them.

The LA studio was very tiny, but legal and in a legitimate apartment complex. The San Francisco apt. didn't have bugs but probably was an illegal "MIL" apt.

Nevertheless, the point still stands that if you are willing to compromise your standard of living you can go cheaper. It all depends on what you value. I'm sure the OP can find something in ANY market that is legal and clean for significantly less than $2,500 a month. It's his choice on how bad he wants independence and/or saving for a house.

As they say, "not everyone gets to be an astronaut." And not everyone has made choices that give them a salary that lets them live large and save for a house. Compromise has to happen somewhere.

bloom2708
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by bloom2708 » Thu May 03, 2018 4:11 pm

OP, have you looked for alternative rentals. If the average rental is $2,500, can you avoid those and find a unique gem?

Maybe renting the basement of a house. Renting a tiny home. Studio/efficiency. I guess if you really want out, be creative. Don't go look at newer, 1 and 2 bedroom places in the best part of town. Those are the $2,500 apartments.

I'm not saying pick something unsafe or in a bad part of town. There might be some unique place or opportunity out there. Maybe someone is traveling for a year and wants a house sitter.

Or someone has a pool house they rent out as a full apartment. Independence is great if it doesn't kill your finances and derail paying off debt and retirement investing.
"We are here not to please but to provoke thoughtfulness" Unknown Boglehead

knowledge
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by knowledge » Thu May 03, 2018 4:13 pm

In a lot of BH threads, the answer is "it depends" and there's a lot of context that needs to be weighed and you can easily see both sides of the decision. In this one, I think it's pretty straightforward.

Move out. Try to save rent money by having a roommate.

staythecourse
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by staythecourse » Thu May 03, 2018 4:51 pm

deikel wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:38 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:46 pm
As far as I am concerned there is NO WAY you should be living at home unless it is to personally care for a family member. There is no way you can continue to mature as a person unless you live alone. As empirical proof I am not sure I know anybody who is a success on a personal level (relationships, kids, etc...) OR professional (moved up the chain in responsibility, made more money, etc...) who lived at home. Do you?

Good luck.
...about everyone...since kids usually live at home for a long time....
Okay. How about those who live at home at 35 and older? Please name a few since you are so confident. BTW, I am pretty sure you knew exactly what I meant by the original comment.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

SR II
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by SR II » Thu May 03, 2018 5:58 pm

Pajamas wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:34 pm
That's not at all fair since the reason O.P. was living at home was to take care of the aunt. The family should be grateful for that. I didn't point out how respectable that is for a 35 year old to live at home to take care of a family member when living alone would be preferable, but it is worth noting, regardless of the financial issues.
"Fair"? OP stated that aunt is "better now".

Easy Rhino
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Easy Rhino » Thu May 03, 2018 6:09 pm

well you distilled the question very simply, $2500 is a lot of money, but you love living alone.

I lived at home for almost a year when I was 30. I was eager to move out when I got a job (in another state, no less)!

Good job helping your aunt out, though!

Wakefield1
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by Wakefield1 » Thu May 03, 2018 7:32 pm

Is there any possibility at all of the O.P. eventually buying a place and the whole household moving to that place? If that happened and another member of the household (non-spouse of the owner) were to end up in the nursing home would that threaten the affairs of the house owner?

TallBoy29er
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Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by TallBoy29er » Thu May 03, 2018 8:23 pm

I'm assuming rent is what it is, being $2500/ month. I can tell you, you've made it years longer than I would have. Freedom and independence are very important to me. If rent of $2500 is market rate, you can bet I would be paying it. Even if it stretched me thin.

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tainted-meat
Posts: 714
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:35 pm
Location: Kentucky

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by tainted-meat » Thu May 03, 2018 8:34 pm

Depends on your personal goals. If you want to find a mate then move out. Otherwise, bank cash and retire early or take cool vacations.

nm451
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 10:18 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by nm451 » Thu May 03, 2018 9:27 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 4:51 pm
deikel wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:38 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:46 pm
As far as I am concerned there is NO WAY you should be living at home unless it is to personally care for a family member. There is no way you can continue to mature as a person unless you live alone. As empirical proof I am not sure I know anybody who is a success on a personal level (relationships, kids, etc...) OR professional (moved up the chain in responsibility, made more money, etc...) who lived at home. Do you?

Good luck.
...about everyone...since kids usually live at home for a long time....
Okay. How about those who live at home at 35 and older? Please name a few since you are so confident. BTW, I am pretty sure you knew exactly what I meant by the original comment.

Good luck.
I think that is kind of overgeneralizing because it can depend on the area and culture. I live in Hawaii and it is very common even with successful people. To be fair a lot of multi generational homes have separated living spaces. Some examples off the top of my head where they live under the same roof and share living spaces. All of these people are over 35 and pretty successful. Everyone of these on this list has at least a Bachelors and most have advanced degrees. Also as far as I know there are at least 4 multimillionaires on this list (I am definitely not one :( of them).
  • Myself/IT Manager + Brother/HS Teacher + Parents
    My Fiancee/HR in State Government + Parents
    Cousin/Financial Services + Wife/Nurse + Kids + Parent + Grandparent
    Cousin/Physician/PHD + Wife/Physician + Kids + Parent
    Cousin/DB Manager + Fiancee/Med School + Other Cousin/PHD Student + Boyfriend/Project Manager + Grandparent
    Cousin/Owns Construction Firm + SO/Works for Firm + Kids + Parents
    Friend/Bank Manager + Wife/Nurse + Kid + Parents
    Friend/HS Teacher + Wife/Pharmacist + Kids + Parents
    Friend/Owns IT company + Wife/Lawyer + Kids + Parents + Grandparent
    Friend/DoD Consultant + SO/DoD Contractor + Kids + Parents + Grandparents
    Many others..

staythecourse
Posts: 5736
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by staythecourse » Thu May 03, 2018 10:42 pm

nm451 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 9:27 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 4:51 pm
deikel wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:38 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:46 pm
As far as I am concerned there is NO WAY you should be living at home unless it is to personally care for a family member. There is no way you can continue to mature as a person unless you live alone. As empirical proof I am not sure I know anybody who is a success on a personal level (relationships, kids, etc...) OR professional (moved up the chain in responsibility, made more money, etc...) who lived at home. Do you?

Good luck.
...about everyone...since kids usually live at home for a long time....
Okay. How about those who live at home at 35 and older? Please name a few since you are so confident. BTW, I am pretty sure you knew exactly what I meant by the original comment.

Good luck.
I think that is kind of overgeneralizing because it can depend on the area and culture. I live in Hawaii and it is very common even with successful people. To be fair a lot of multi generational homes have separated living spaces. Some examples off the top of my head where they live under the same roof and share living spaces. All of these people are over 35 and pretty successful. Everyone of these on this list has at least a Bachelors and most have advanced degrees. Also as far as I know there are at least 4 multimillionaires on this list (I am definitely not one :( of them).
  • Myself/IT Manager + Brother/HS Teacher + Parents
    My Fiancee/HR in State Government + Parents
    Cousin/Financial Services + Wife/Nurse + Kids + Parent + Grandparent
    Cousin/Physician/PHD + Wife/Physician + Kids + Parent
    Cousin/DB Manager + Fiancee/Med School + Other Cousin/PHD Student + Boyfriend/Project Manager + Grandparent
    Cousin/Owns Construction Firm + SO/Works for Firm + Kids + Parents
    Friend/Bank Manager + Wife/Nurse + Kid + Parents
    Friend/HS Teacher + Wife/Pharmacist + Kids + Parents
    Friend/Owns IT company + Wife/Lawyer + Kids + Parents + Grandparent
    Friend/DoD Consultant + SO/DoD Contractor + Kids + Parents + Grandparents
    Many others..
I am not sure why this is so difficult for folks to understand. ALL of the examples you gave are of PARENTS living with kids and not the KID living with parents. That is different. What you are describing is called an extended family that is normal. That is not the same as kiddo continuing to live with mommy and daddy after being an adult. If you don't get the difference then I am not sure how to make it any more clear.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

jack1234
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Fri May 04, 2018 12:02 am

Pajamas wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:34 pm
SR II wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 2:34 pm
Not me! If my 35 year old "kid" or niece/nephew had a good job and lived with me, you bet they would be contributing monetarily to the household. The OP has to grow up and be the adult they are.
That's not at all fair since the reason O.P. was living at home was to take care of the aunt. The family should be grateful for that. I didn't point out how respectable that is for a 35 year old to live at home to take care of a family member when living alone would be preferable, but it is worth noting, regardless of the financial issues.
GCD wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 3:30 pm
You can rent anywhere for less than $2,500 a month. As a single male I rented a crappy apt. for $425 in San Francisco in 2000. I rented a slightly better studio apt in LA for $400 from 1996-2000. You don't have to pay that much. You can find a cheaper apt AND save money toward a house. Of course the quality of the living space is lower than what you are probably used to. But that's a choice. Your choice. Do what you want.
The only way to get something that cheap these days in a city like San Francisco or NYC is in an illegal and dangerous SRO with bed bugs and that only works until the doors are padlocked by the fire department.

Thanks for this. I agree. I lived away from home my entire 20s including several years abroad in South Africa, Australia, and London so maybe we can be a little less judgmental? I speak 3 languages and have 2 masters degrees. I also went away to college. I ONLY moved back in for the past 2 years bc my aunt was gravely ill and the family needed help. I have a significant other of several years and we make it work.

So everyone saying this is going to stunt my growth or it’s horrible to live at home at 35 - I disagree. These past two years while at home I cooked, cleaned, bought groceries and ran the household while working full time. My family needed me.

And you can’t find anything less than $2500 in my area. I can move an hour away and find something for $1500 with a roommate possibly but you’re quoting rental prices from 2000? NYC rental prices in 2018 are exorbitant.

My original question was now that my aunt is better and I’m not needed AS MUCH do I stay another year to put away a significant amount of savings or move now?

jack1234
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Fri May 04, 2018 12:03 am

jack1234 wrote:
Wed May 02, 2018 10:28 pm
This is a personal question and I’d love to know everyone’s thoughts.
I recently got a new job where I’m making a steady income and a higher income.
I’ve been living at home bc I simply couldn’t afford rent before and my aunt was sick so I was taking care of her But she’s better now and I like my family - we get along.
But I’m older now - almost 35- and in the past year I’ve been feeling very strongly about moving out again.
Just for reference, I went away for college for four years and lived in nyc for several years on my own with roommates and alone so I have been very independent for most of my life but recently my
aunt got sick and I moved back home to help the family out (driving to doctors appointments, household help, etc). I love my family but I’m also independent and only moved back to help out and I am grateful for them letting me stay after she got better, etc... I’m just sooo much happier living on my own.

The issue is that rent is very high in this area- about $2500. I don’t have enough to buy a house. I have been ready to leave this living situation for the past 2 years- I value my independence and love living alone. But I never made a salary to justify that move.

Now I’m finally making that salary.

So I can either
1. Move out and after paying $2500 a month in rent and other expenses have a few hundred left over to invest (after contributing to the 401k)

Or

2. Stay here another year, suck it up, and save over $30,000 in one year which is a nice start to a nest egg and I can invest that although it would have to be in a taxable brokerage account.

jack1234
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Fri May 04, 2018 12:05 am

yangtui wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 12:08 am
If you are happy living at home and your parents are happy to have you then stay. Everybody is different. $2500 a month goes a long way.
One of the only non judgmental responses here.
Thank you.

golfCaddy
Posts: 579
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:02 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by golfCaddy » Fri May 04, 2018 12:08 am

jack1234 wrote:
Fri May 04, 2018 12:02 am
I have a significant other of several years and we make it work.
At 35 and after several years, I would look at moving in with them or getting a new place together as soon as their lease is up.

jack1234
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Fri May 04, 2018 12:14 am

123 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 12:15 am
In some ethnic communities there are strong family ties that make it awkward and cumbersome to leave the family home until you marry. It doesn't seem like that is the situation here.

At age 35 it's time to move on with your life into your own space. If you don't do it now how much longer could you wait?

The cost of your own household is worth it.

You're not getting any younger.
Hmmm, I’ve had my own space since I was 18 up until 8 was 33. I also lived abroad for a few years.

This move back was to care for a sick family member.

I’m not getting younger? What does that even mean? I lost 2 parents to cancer and my aunt has been very ill as of late. I’m doing the best I can. I have a great job and a significant other. I’m pretty happy.

jack1234
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Fri May 04, 2018 12:15 am

Tamarind wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 5:55 am
In most cultures and most times, what you've done the last few years would be the norm, so you don't need to feel weird about living at home. But it sounds like you're ready for a change. Living at home will always be the most frugal option, but money is just a tool to get the life you want.

I'd suggest you focus on this:

To what degree has living at home and caring for your aunt impacted your independence? How would you like for your life to change? What are some frugal ways to achieve that change?
Great advice. These are questions I need to think about.

jack1234
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:12 pm

Re: Pay $2500 in rent or continue living at home

Post by jack1234 » Fri May 04, 2018 12:18 am

sschoe2 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 8:05 am
I lived with my mom until she passed away earlier this year. I am 37. She needed my help doing errands and house chores due to mobility issues and I, in turn was able to help her out and save a ton of money. It worked out well for both of us.
I personally know how hard that must have been. Sending so much love to you and yours. So sorry for your loss and I hope you’re doing better.

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