Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
Post Reply
crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:39 pm

Hi everyone,

As always, thanks for the great feedback in the past. My wife generally doesn't have a lot of interest in discussing our financial situations or in looking into the future and deciding what we want as a couple. We have decided to get away from the kids for a day or two and really focus in on answering a number of questions so we can finalize really building out our life goals, from which there will be a lot of financial implications. I'm also hoping this will help us make final decisions on a number of financial things (accelerating the house payoff? how much of college do we expect to fund for our six kids? etc.). This should also lead to us finalizing our IPS and make that less of a headache for me.

Some quick background
Me: Turn 40 this year
Her: Turns 42 this year
Kids: Will be 12,12,12,10,8,5 this year

Below are some of the initial discussion topics that I've thought up, but would love your input on what else.

What do we want for us (wife and I) over next ten years? Next 20 years? (Including activities we want to be involved in, where do we want to focus our time and attention, do we want to travel more heavily now vs. retirement, etc.)

What do we want for our kids over next ten years (or until they leave the house)? What opportunities do we want to provide?

What do we want retirement to look like?

Then moving on to more specific items with specific financial impacts:
How much of college do we want to try to fund?

What will we provide for weddings (a flat amount for each kid like $10k each?)?

Do we want to try to leave an inheritance? How important is that for us?

What major changes to our house would we like to make over the next 5-10 years?

What kind of cars do we want to drive? What kind of transportation will we provide for the kids?

I'm hoping I can use all of this to back into this. And to be clear - it isn't that we don't talk about these things as a couple, just that the conversations are random and don't really flow into an overall view of our lives.

Thanks!

Hulu
Posts: 118
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:55 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by Hulu » Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:43 pm

Frugalwoods.com has a Valentine's Day list of questions that I found were helpful for my gf and me

wilked
Posts: 1292
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 1:50 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by wilked » Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:57 pm

Some advice would be that you both submit questions (i.e. not just you and bogleheads), and that you both take time to prepare notes / answers ahead of the meeting individually.

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 2:22 pm

Hulu wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:43 pm
Frugalwoods.com has a Valentine's Day list of questions that I found were helpful for my gf and me
Yes, I like those questions. Thanks.

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 2:23 pm

wilked wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:57 pm
Some advice would be that you both submit questions (i.e. not just you and bogleheads), and that you both take time to prepare notes / answers ahead of the meeting individually.
That's definitely the plan and great advice. We grew up in very different lifestyles and circumstances and even though we are 15 years into our marriage as of this year, there are definitely things that we could align better.

veindoc
Posts: 333
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:04 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by veindoc » Sat Mar 10, 2018 3:50 pm

Wow, I can't believe you had three more kids after having a set of triplets. And only two years after the triplets!
You two deserve a weekend away. I think it's great that you two are taking time away from home to discuss these things in depth.

Have you done your estate planning? Who will take care of your kids if both of you should pass? Will that same person manage the finances as well?

I don't really have much to add beyond the questions you have already. One thing I would make sure is that both of you know where all the money is, the passwords to those accounts, etc. I have an "if I die" folder for my husband which I thought included everything. I was reviewing the folder this past week to account for changed passwords and my husband told me he didn't know my social security number! oops.

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 3:56 pm

Ha. We always said we wanted 4-6 kids, but we didn't expect to have five kids in three years! And then that "long" break until #6 (about 3 years). So six kids in six years. But we have been very blessed - all are healthy, all are well behaved, etc.

Estate planning is one of the things kicking this off. We do have a thorough estate plan but we need to add our sixth into it. So we have made all those hard decisions around who would get the kids, who will manage the money, etc. We are pretty well set from an insurance standpoint (including life) that if something awful happened, the kids and their caretakers would be in a good spot.

We share a password manager and although not written out really cleanly - if she followed down all the access points in the password manager, she would find everything with the exception of some long-term policies like life insurance, but those are documented in the estate plan.

Appreciate it!

JoeRetire
Posts: 877
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:44 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by JoeRetire » Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:02 pm

You might want to start touching on "survivor" issues.
You are both still young, but often the retirement and survivor decisions intertwine.

ClaycordJCA
Posts: 208
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 11:19 pm
Location: SF Bay Area

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by ClaycordJCA » Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:16 pm

In addition to what do you want retirement to be like, I would ask when do we want it to begin? If you are in a high stress field, you may want to get out in your 50s or early 60s rather than traditional retirement age. Is your wife comfortable with this since you will have less time to reach your retirement investment/savings goals?

veindoc
Posts: 333
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:04 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by veindoc » Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:38 pm

Other thoughts.

I would also take time to talk about charity. How important is giving to each of you, how much and to whom.

Also are both sets of parents alive? Will they need financial help? How much are you willing to give?
This is something we are dealing with and we are about five years older.
My father in law age 75 had to stop working before he intended. He has high medical bills which is sucking up all their money. It is highly likely my mother in law age 70 who is in great health will need financial help for possibly two decades. We are discussing now how much we are prepared to give and in what form.

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:45 pm

JoeRetire wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:02 pm
You might want to start touching on "survivor" issues.
You are both still young, but often the retirement and survivor decisions intertwine.
I'm assuming by this you are saying we should discuss if one of us passes - what are the points we should touch on? Re-marriage and how assets should be treated?

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:46 pm

ClaycordJCA wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:16 pm
In addition to what do you want retirement to be like, I would ask when do we want it to begin? If you are in a high stress field, you may want to get out in your 50s or early 60s rather than traditional retirement age. Is your wife comfortable with this since you will have less time to reach your retirement investment/savings goals?
Definitely in a high stress field, but I think this answer is going to depend on what we decide to "fund" for the kids...college? weddings? Etc. With six kids, college could easily be $600k - enough to push retirement until later...

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:49 pm

veindoc wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:38 pm
Other thoughts.

I would also take time to talk about charity. How important is giving to each of you, how much and to whom.

Also are both sets of parents alive? Will they need financial help? How much are you willing to give?
This is something we are dealing with and we are about five years older.
My father in law age 75 had to stop working before he intended. He has high medical bills which is sucking up all their money. It is highly likely my mother in law age 70 who is in great health will need financial help for possibly two decades. We are discussing now how much we are prepared to give and in what form.
My parents are set. Her parents are not and are older (75/72). He (75) is still working, but makes little and from what little we have picked up on, they have very little in assets and their house is worth little (maybe $150k). They are already both on SS & Medicare. There are six kids in that family, four of which live nearby to my in-laws and are fairly well-off. We did build out basement out to accommodate them if they need to live with us as my wife is the oldest daughter.

Definitely something we should consider.

We are pretty set on the charitable giving side.

Nearly A Moose
Posts: 843
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:28 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by Nearly A Moose » Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:01 pm

I’ll add only that you both should temper expectations for the outcome of this weekend away. Sounds like you’re going to have some good topics of discussion, but it’s quite likely you won’t reach complete resolution on most or all of them. And you don’t want one of you to feel like you had to cave because you ran out of time. Especially for big decisions where there might be some lingering uncertainty or where you’re not fully aligned, you might need to work out the general framework, identify the key issues still requiring resolution, and then commit to following up on it in 3-6 months.
Pardon typos, I'm probably using my fat thumbs on a tiny phone.

wrongfunds
Posts: 1687
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 3:55 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by wrongfunds » Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:09 pm

Wow, I can't believe you had three more kids after having a set of triplets. And only two years after the triplets!
You two deserve a weekend away.
I thought you were going to say something right after your last sentence :-)

aristotelian
Posts: 4136
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:05 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by aristotelian » Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:23 pm

crazygrow wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 3:56 pm
Ha. We always said we wanted 4-6 kids, but we didn't expect to have five kids in three years! And then that "long" break until #6 (about 3 years). So six kids in six years. But we have been very blessed - all are healthy, all are well behaved, etc.
Haha, I thought perhaps there was a typo. That is impressive. No wonder you need a weekend away to talk about your goals and finances.

We recently started those conversations (Age 43 and 43, 2 kids), which also started on a trip away from the kids. For us the biggest question is where we live. We moved to our current town for my job and have stayed because my kids love it here, but the two of us frankly don't like it very much. My wife loves to travel but also wants to live in a HCOL city. I would like to retire early and/or maybe start a new lower stress career. We probably can't do everything so it's important that we start getting a sense of priorities together.

We haven't come close to deciding anything, but we are starting to narrow the range of possibilities.

I did finally convince my wife to max her 401k.

In our case, we are very lucky that the kids have college provided for, so that is not an issue.

veindoc
Posts: 333
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:04 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by veindoc » Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:52 pm

wrongfunds wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:09 pm
Wow, I can't believe you had three more kids after having a set of triplets. And only two years after the triplets!
You two deserve a weekend away.
I thought you were going to say something right after your last sentence :-)
Like what, maybe they bring a chaperone or else they could become a family of 9 instead of 8. :shock:
I say the more the merrier but I can’t even fathom three 2 year olds and a newborn!

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sat Mar 10, 2018 9:29 pm

Due to the triplet pregnancy being high risk, we had to see a perinatologist for all the pregnancies. At the first appt. with child #4, our peri asked, "you do know how this happens!" He was a great, older man with a great sense of humor.

JoeRetire
Posts: 877
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:44 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by JoeRetire » Sun Mar 11, 2018 9:18 am

crazygrow wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:45 pm
JoeRetire wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:02 pm
You might want to start touching on "survivor" issues.
You are both still young, but often the retirement and survivor decisions intertwine.
I'm assuming by this you are saying we should discuss if one of us passes - what are the points we should touch on? Re-marriage and how assets should be treated?
That too, but I was thinking more along the lines of where the survivor would live, how does a single social security benefit fit the need, survivor pension issues, etc.

staythecourse
Posts: 5692
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by staythecourse » Sun Mar 11, 2018 9:26 am

Just curious if you planned any of your life and financial goals BEFORE having so many kids? It would seem that many of the choices you have already made will impact/ limit what you are going to be able to do. Of course, kids are a blessing, but the LARGEST current and future financial liabilities any couple will have (outside of retirement).

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

ny_knicks
Posts: 193
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:20 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by ny_knicks » Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:35 am

veindoc wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:52 pm
Like what, maybe they bring a chaperone or else they could become a family of 9 instead of 8. :shock:
I say the more the merrier but I can’t even fathom three 2 year olds and a newborn!
I can't fathom taking care of anything more than a dog...

I think you're right on with coming up with plans for college, weddings, etc. As they get older they get expensive and have a lot of wants. Even w/ just 2 siblings my parents often struggled with what was "fair" and how to keep it even as we navigated all these life events.

truenorth418
Posts: 364
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:38 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by truenorth418 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:48 am

I applaud you for having a meeting of this nature. Tackling the tough issues in a mature, professional way sounds like an excellent approach and I wish you luck.

My two cents, others will disagree. I commend you for wanting to provide the best for your children. I think the best you can give them is to ensure that they are raised well, provided good education, good values, and the ability to stand on their own two feet to provide for themselves in the future. Therefore, I would make them responsible for their own weddings, even if they even want to bother with marriage, many kids today don't. The money you were thinking to save for that line item would be better spent on maximizing their chances for a happy and successful life now - while they are young and developing.

staythecourse
Posts: 5692
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by staythecourse » Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:58 am

ny_knicks wrote:
Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:35 am
Even w/ just 2 siblings my parents often struggled with what was "fair" and how to keep it even as we navigated all these life events.
One of the most difficult arguments in life comes down to the definition of "fair" as it is interpreted different by each person (often to fit how it helps them). Is it fair to give equal or fair to give a larger portion to who has worked harder towards their goals? I struggle with the operational definition of "Fair" all the time. No surprise, that definition you use decides often time on one's political affiliation.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

WhyNotUs
Posts: 1274
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:38 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by WhyNotUs » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:06 am

You have a great list already and lots of tough work there.
If you can make it through that, then you will be in great shape with regard to money issues.

Congrats on making the time alone to be together and discuss, it can't be easy in your household right now to find that time.
I own the next hot stock- VTSAX

stan1
Posts: 5550
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:35 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by stan1 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:15 am

Congratulations! Some things in life can't be planned. I'd focus on treating your kids fairly which might not mean equally. The child who wants to go to medical school and becomes a physician might have a different need than a child who becomes an acclaimed but low salaried musician or a child who ends up as a parent at age 19 or a single parent at age 30.

Rather than taking a weekend away to talk about these things why not do something you both enjoy that you haven't had a chance to do much of since the kids were born and celebrate your relationship together?

ny_knicks
Posts: 193
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:20 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by ny_knicks » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:28 am

staythecourse wrote:
Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:58 am
One of the most difficult arguments in life comes down to the definition of "fair" as it is interpreted different by each person (often to fit how it helps them). Is it fair to give equal or fair to give a larger portion to who has worked harder towards their goals? I struggle with the operational definition of "Fair" all the time. No surprise, that definition you use decides often time on one's political affiliation.

Good luck.
Everyone will have a different definition for sure. Better to discuss it ahead of time than on the fly when the asks start rolling in. From what I have seen too many families don't tackle these questions until they have to and then make decisions in the heat of the moment that ultimately might not be the right one for them.

My parents went with even dollar amounts across all kids. Likely because they felt slighted from my mother's parents spending a fortune supporting my mom's sister/family their entire life.

Do you not give as much to the kid whose a doctor because they don't "need" it and give more to the kid who chased their dreams to become a musician and now works at SBUX pay check to pay check?

timmy
Posts: 668
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 2:57 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by timmy » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:45 am

Just be careful that weekend ... You may find yourself with another tyke in the oven :wink:

Great concept ... Let us know how it goes please.

User avatar
Sandtrap
Posts: 4639
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:32 pm
Location: 10/90 Allocation - Hawaii😀 Northern AZ.😳

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by Sandtrap » Sun Mar 11, 2018 12:13 pm

crazygrow wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:39 pm
Hi everyone,

As always, thanks for the great feedback in the past. My wife generally doesn't have a lot of interest in discussing our financial situations or in looking into the future and deciding what we want as a couple. We have decided to get away from the kids for a day or two and really focus in on answering a number of questions so we can finalize really building out our life goals, from which there will be a lot of financial implications. I'm also hoping this will help us make final decisions on a number of financial things (accelerating the house payoff? how much of college do we expect to fund for our six kids? etc.). This should also lead to us finalizing our IPS and make that less of a headache for me.

Some quick background
Me: Turn 40 this year
Her: Turns 42 this year
Kids: Will be 12,12,12,10,8,5 this year

Below are some of the initial discussion topics that I've thought up, but would love your input on what else.

What do we want for us (wife and I) over next ten years? Next 20 years? (Including activities we want to be involved in, where do we want to focus our time and attention, do we want to travel more heavily now vs. retirement, etc.)
Continue and expand on what is mutually healthy and nourishing and memorable, dump the rest.
What do we want for our kids over next ten years (or until they leave the house)? What opportunities do we want to provide?
To continue to be their heroes and mentors on all things good and wonderful and provide the environment to do so.
What do we want retirement to look like?
Healthy, gratifying, and without "need", surrounded by loved ones, and without regret or malice.
Then moving on to more specific items with specific financial impacts:
How much of college do we want to try to fund?
Ideally, every child has a chance to successfully launch into the career of their choice whether military, trades, professional, or otherwise.
What will we provide for weddings (a flat amount for each kid like $10k each?)?
Support and nourish their wedding choice whether free on a beach or in a ballroom, equitably between all.
Do we want to try to leave an inheritance? How important is that for us?
An inheritance is left after all of the above have been provided without compromising any of them, equitably between all.
What major changes to our house would we like to make over the next 5-10 years?
Changes that are necessary without undue financial drain and with the realization that there may be, and most likely be, many homes ahead in the future, so spending with that in mind, with prudence.
What kind of cars do we want to drive? What kind of transportation will we provide for the kids?
Transportation that is safe and financially sound and adaptable to our evolving lifestyles.
I'm hoping I can use all of this to back into this. And to be clear - it isn't that we don't talk about these things as a couple, just that the conversations are random and don't really flow into an overall view of our lives.

Thanks!
The first step to a conversation is to be prepared to not have that conversation and have fun and just "break the ice" for future conversations.
All business is no fun at all.
Mission 1: Get away from the kids
Mission 2: Reconnect without data or "corporate meeting-itis".
Mission 3: Establish a groundwork for future "getaways" and introduce some "thoughts" to ponder on.
Mission 4: Realization that getting one thing done on the "long list" is a step forward.
Rinse, repeat.

aloha,
j

staythecourse
Posts: 5692
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by staythecourse » Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:14 pm

ny_knicks wrote:
Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:28 am
Do you not give as much to the kid whose a doctor because they don't "need" it and give more to the kid who chased their dreams to become a musician and now works at SBUX pay check to pay check?
Perfect example. I just don't know the answer to this question. Personally, in the situation presented it is not "fair" as person who worked hard gets penalized in inheritance then the "loser" kid. But then again it depends on if the parents paid all the education, no? If they did then the kid who got more (the doctor) is getting less to sort of even it out in the end, no?

I really struggle with situations like this as I don't know what the right answer is. My own biases play into it as well as I have already (2 kids the oldest being a KG) tell them they can do whatever in the world they want, but they have to live the life of a person who does x for a living. I don't care what they do, but what I will not tolerate is a kid who wants to do x and live the lifestyle of y profession.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

vested1
Posts: 1459
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:20 pm

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by vested1 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:50 pm

I think the best way to start is to come to an agreement about your desired lifestyle as a couple in retirement. This will bring into focus how much money you will need to make this happen. It may also help your spouse focus on what it takes to reach that objective.

All the other things that you listed are related to the previously mentioned subject, such as providing lavish weddings, vehicles for each child when they reach driving age, and college funding. These will affect your ability to meet your goals in retirement. You may find that by having 6 children you will be restricted in the amount you can give each one, which is a much needed reality check. Eventually your children will have to realize this as well.

I have friends who have provided all these things for multiple children only to find themselves fairly destitute when it came to retirement prospects. Make sure you take your own future into consideration as well as your kids. The best advice I would give is to instill a sense of strength and individuality in your children, making them primarily responsible for their own success, while helping them as much as possible.

crazygrow
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Life and Financial Goals Weekend Away - What Should My Wife and I Discuss?

Post by crazygrow » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:06 pm

Thanks all for the additional thoughts.

To address a few of them...for those suggesting to skip this and focus on just a getaway - this is one thing we are good at. We have a goal to have two weeks every year away from the kids where we can reconnect. Definitely has been needed and we just got back from a week at the beach for our 15th wedding anniversary. And no, there won't be any more kids... :)

Towards those comments about having six kids will have an impact on our retirement, etc. Totally agree. Six kids is expensive. Even without all the additional "investments" in them - sports, etc.

We have been blessed that my income is high enough that we could swing both a great retirement and pay for college, etc. However, she and I grew up in very different circumstances. Her parents never had much and as such, she put herself through college through both a job and a limited amount of loans. I grew up in a family that was well-off, but the deal was we had to have full academic scholarships and my parents would pay for everything else (housing, etc.) if we went to a state school.

My wife and I basically have a big itch we like to scratch often - global travel. Other than that, we are pretty minimalist in many areas. We don't expect to provide "lavish" weddings or give each child a vehicle when they reach driving age, etc. (at least neither of us had those, so I don't see those as happening). But we will have a large amount of teenage drivers, so we should plan to either keep my wife's car another four years and give that to the triplets or be prepping for another car purchase (something inexpensive, used and safe).

But yes, you are right that we need to plan our retirement first, which is the goal of this weekend because then we can back into everything else.

Post Reply