What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

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chipperd
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Re: "Desidoreta"

Post by chipperd » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:02 am

chuppi wrote:
Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:55 pm
Taylor Larimore wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:58 pm
lostinjersey:

This is my favorite poem. It has helped me through life. It can do the same for you and your family.

Desidoreta

Best wishes.
Taylor
Thank you very much for this Poem. I am aware of some of this based on life experience. :)
I have bookmarked it and will go there every now and then.
+1

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oldcomputerguy
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by oldcomputerguy » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:13 am

God's got it. [OT comment removed by admin LadyGeek]

Happy wife, happy life.

Don't do anything stupid.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Treat others as you want them to treat you.

Your opponent is never a villain in his own eyes.

This, too, shall pass.
It’s taken me a lot of years, but I’ve come around to this: If you’re dumb, surround yourself with smart people. And if you’re smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you.

sharukh
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by sharukh » Sun Dec 31, 2017 6:43 pm

MelBuf wrote the book "Beat the time money trap", its is one of the best books i have ever read/heard. highly recommend it.

https://smile.amazon.com/Beat-Time-Mone ... redirect=1

Taylor Larimore wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:10 pm
Bogleheads:

For those who don't know (and Michael never tells us), "mlebuf" (above) is a retired professor emeritus, author of "The Millionaire in You," and co-author of "The Bogleheads' Guide to Investing."

I know Michael well. Few people are better qualified to give us 'rules of life.'

Best wishes.
Taylor

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Tycoon
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Tycoon » Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:08 pm

Take comfort that things could always be worse.
Appeal to Pity:When pity is envoked to support a statement | Appeal to Popular Sentiment:Appealing to unrelated prejudices and attitudes | Hasty Generalization:Too little evidence to support the conclusion

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oldzey
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by oldzey » Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:22 pm

  • Live with integrity.
  • Make a positive difference in the lives of others.
  • Commit yourself to constant self-improvement.
  • Always remember the Golden Rule.
"The broker said the stock was 'poised to move.' Silly me, I thought he meant up." ― Randy Thurman

2comma
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by 2comma » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:38 pm

tbradnc wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 4:13 pm
Married 32 years to the same spouse, raised 3 kids.

"Don't believe everything I think." and "I don't have to say everything I think."

Works very well for me.
This strikes a very deep cord with me! Thanks.
If I am stupid I will pay.

2comma
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by 2comma » Sun Dec 31, 2017 10:28 pm

LadyGeek wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:16 pm
A few posts containing religious (Biblical) quotations were removed. Religion is a very sensitive topic - much more so than politics. See: Politics and Religion
In order to avoid the inevitable frictions that arise from these topics, political or religious posts and comments are prohibited. The only exceptions to this rule are:
  • Common religious expressions such as sending your prayers to an ailing member.
  • Usage of factual and non-derogatory political labels when necessary to the discussion at hand.
  • Discussions about enacted laws or regulations that affect the individual investor. Note that discussions of proposed legislation are prohibited.
  • Proposed regulations that are directly related to investing may be discussed if and when they are published for public comments.
Please refrain from stating religious references.
Thanks for being such a good moderator!
If I am stupid I will pay.

ge1
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by ge1 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 10:49 pm

Have the courage to live your life the way YOU should be living it. I deeply believe that we all have our own unique way how to live our lives and the moment you try to be something you are not, you will be miserable. Be grateful for who you are and what you have and be courageous when opportunisties present themselves.

Wish you an outstanding 2018

Dottie57
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Dottie57 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:07 pm

I think happiness is over-rated. Contentment is the best for me: that I have done the best I can for family, friends and work.
Gratitude for what you have also helps.

Loving kindness is The attitude I aspire to.

Dottie57
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Dottie57 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:18 pm

TheTimeLord wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:45 pm
mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
For me most of your list implied people have far more control over their lives than I can agree with. And the point above left me flabbergasted, you seriously believe that? By the way the Samuel Butler quote is "The want of money is the root of all evil.", the bible verse is "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."
I do think lust for money is the root of much evil in this world. I consider the financial crisis 2007 -2009 to be caused by unmitigated greed.

gotester2000
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by gotester2000 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 2:17 am

For many years I was achieving success - hitting milestone after milestone in life. I was running round the clock, planning everything well ahead and in detail. I was trying to live by the brain searching logic and value in every aspect of life and focusing only on the target. Yet I was never happy for long.

It has gradually dawned upon me that living the journey is important than the targets. Life is going to be always up and down and the person who lives by the heart and embraces the present fully is the one who is really happy. Why is a child happy - because it lives in the present moment fully - both mind and body.

The only rule of life is NOT to have rules - embrace life fully and naturally as it unfolds - treat the mind and body as a computer RAM that doesnt store anything unneeded for the present moment rather than a hard disk and you'll always be agile and happy.

ImaBeginner
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by ImaBeginner » Tue Jan 02, 2018 3:44 pm

I lived in 6 states by the time I hit 8th grade, all across the country. It was hard making new friends each time, but eventually it happened. When I went off to college that transition seemed easier than it was for some of my friends who hadn’t moved before.
For school, training and my early career I moved to another 4 cities. Now I feel settled and plan to stay where I am for the long haul. Moving did not make me unhappy, and I don’t believe it is what will make your child unhappy.
The important thing is that you are a source of stability for her, always be present, and always be supportive of her. This safety that you provide as a loving parent is much more important when her living situation is disrupted.
When I was a new parent it was more fly by the seat of my pants, and neither my child or me benefited.
Recently, setting realistic expectations and patterns of behavior/habits has been important for me, it gives me a solid center. When necessary to vary my behavior from the “plan” I do it enthusiastically, but I have the ability to come back to the safe normal. Spend time thinking on your personal truths, final goals, and a safe route/routine to get you there. Broad stroke planning will do wonders for you.
Specifically for you, daily routine should be relatively set for your kid. Get up, school, homework/playtime, dinner, family time, bed. Make some weekly routine time with her, like Friday night is pizza and movie night, Wednesday is family game night, etc.
Live somewhere safe/boring that is close to an active place that excites him. The specific neighborhoods will make more of a difference than the city/state. You may be better off renting and finding a good spot locally than choosing a site across the country.
Plan vacation to more exciting places, but don’t just live life for the vacations, you will miss all the good stuff in between.
Financial planning isn’t that hard, you either make enough to achieve goals or you don’t. If you don’t, either your goal or earnings needs to change, but that doesn’t sound like your issue. Obviously other advice on here will help more with this category.
Good luck!

reggiesimpson
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by reggiesimpson » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:19 pm

Don't know if this will help but I recently finished an interesting book "The Subtle Art of not Giving a F..." by Mark Hanson. Don't let the title turn you off. He touches on a few points that you may find helpful. Like having too many options and not committing. Certainly woke me up!

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VictoriaF
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by VictoriaF » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:25 pm

Your most valuable treasure is your sleep.

- If you sleep well, you have a clear mind and can solve life problems.
- If you sleep well, you have more energy to exercise and be active.
- When you are sleeping your brain is removing the plaque that otherwise may lead to the Alzheimer's.
- When you are sleeping you are not spending money.
- When you are sleeping you come up with brilliant ideas.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

bantam222
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by bantam222 » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:30 pm

For me:
- Get the high impact items right, don't waste too much time on energy on low impact items
- Don't focus on things you cannot control, focus your energy on how you can optimize within this framework of things you cannot control
- Pulling from Amazons leadership principles, "commit and disagree" - make every decision once and move on - if you are 50/50 on a decision and cannot decide, this means that both options are almost equivalent and picking the "wrong" one will have very minor impact - do not spend a lot of time, stress and energy on these!!!

It's a mindset you can develop overtime. I have almost 0 stress in my life due to this design.
reggiesimpson wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:19 pm
Don't know if this will help but I recently finished an interesting book "The Subtle Art of not Giving a F..." by Mark Hanson. Don't let the title turn you off. He touches on a few points that you may find helpful. Like having too many options and not committing. Certainly woke me up!
I have not read the above book but from what I assume it is about based on the title, I would agree this is a good start and in line with my suggestions above

reggiesimpson
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by reggiesimpson » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:40 pm

bantam222 wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:30 pm
For me:
- Get the high impact items right, don't waste too much time on energy on low impact items
- Don't focus on things you cannot control, focus your energy on how you can optimize within this framework of things you cannot control
- Pulling from Amazons leadership principles, "commit and disagree" - make every decision once and move on - if you are 50/50 on a decision and cannot decide, this means that both options are almost equivalent and picking the "wrong" one will have very minor impact - do not spend a lot of time, stress and energy on these!!!

It's a mindset you can develop overtime. I have almost 0 stress in my life due to this design.
reggiesimpson wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:19 pm
Don't know if this will help but I recently finished an interesting book "The Subtle Art of not Giving a F..." by Mark Hanson. Don't let the title turn you off. He touches on a few points that you may find helpful. Like having too many options and not committing. Certainly woke me up!
I have not read the above book but from what I assume it is about based on the title, I would agree this is a good start and in line with my suggestions above
Agreed. Of course I didn't read the previous threads before posting. From what you have posted I think the OP can skip the book!

GeraniumLover
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by GeraniumLover » Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:09 pm

1. Don't eat when you're not hungry
2. Don't sleep when you're not tired
3. Have no expectations, only plans
4. Forget about the past except for what you can learn from it
5. Never worry - it is like paying advance interest on a debt you may never owe

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unclescrooge
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by unclescrooge » Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:27 pm

fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:42 pm
mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:50 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:10 pm
mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm
Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm


+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.
Are you moving with kids? Or a family? The OP specifically mentioned they keep moving due to "searching" for the perfect place to raise their child. My point was there is no such thing.

Some people thrive off constantly meeting new people, joining new social circles, etc. Certainly not saying that's a bad thing. But it must be extremely hard for the kid, especially because it seems this is just a fly-by-night thing to do. They aren't moving because of better job opportunities, falling in love with an area, etc.

My kids are very well adjusted and moving across town and changing schools was hard at first. Nevermind moving across the country multiple times
First move was as a 10 year old...even then I was really excited to do it and (according to my parents) never once complained about leaving where I was.

Second move was as a 21 year old, moving away from home for good and starting a career. I purposely chose a college and job in a location that was far away from where I went to high school.

Third move was as a 31 year old who'd been married for 1 year.

Next move will be between ages 41-45...pre-school ages for our child(ren).
Moving 4 times in 40 years as an adult is not in any way comparable to an 8 year old having lived in 4 different places, including both coasts and in the Midwest
+1

Speaking from personal experience, as a former 10 year old who had lived in 4 cities and then moved to a different continent - STOP this madness. Your wanderlust isn't helping your kid, who probably is already missing out by not having a sibling.

Developing a deep network or support system takes years. Pick a place, any place, and start now. Preferably one with close family so your kid can meeting grand parents, relatives, and cousins.

blinx77
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by blinx77 » Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:13 pm

I see this location question as torturing a lot of people in my generation (early 30s). It's never caused me the same angst, for the simple reason that I've always believed that there are a positives and negatives to every location, that no location is perfect, that the ultimate determinant of your happiness will be based on other factors (e.g., faith, relationship with family and friends, career satisfaction, health, reasonable financial security).

I chose where I live because it close to my family and my wife's family, we have some friends here and there are good job opportunities for us (and hopefully, very long term, our kids). It's not perfect and I'm sure I'd be happy other places too but we are fine with our choice and are working on building a long-term life here. I paid a little more for a house with good access to various commuting options and routes and close to a school I like for my kids so that hopefully we can stay in this town long-term even if we change jobs or industries. I like the stability of knowing that when I am meeting people at church, networking events, etc. I am investing in what may hopefully be some life-long relationships and maybe even community relationships that can be passed down to my kids.

I'd suggest you make a list of your priorities, then a pro and con list of locations, then try to pick somewhere that reasonably matches a good number of those priorities and commit to sticking with it until your kids are out of high school (excepting of course some life-changing opportunity that strictly requires a relocation). When in doubt, picking somewhere reasonably near family and friends with some major employers in your industry is time-tested and logical approach.
Last edited by blinx77 on Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

book lover
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by book lover » Wed Jan 03, 2018 2:28 pm

Pareto Principle: 80/20 rule, amazing how many things it can be applied to.

Houe
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Houe » Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:34 pm

Wake up early.
Go to bed early.
Stop eating when you are still hungry.
Stop talking when you still have something to say.

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LadyGeek
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by LadyGeek » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:17 pm

Please stay focused on the financial aspects.
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TxAg
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by TxAg » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:19 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:25 pm
Your most valuable treasure is your sleep.

- If you sleep well, you have a clear mind and can solve life problems.
- If you sleep well, you have more energy to exercise and be active.
- When you are sleeping your brain is removing the plaque that otherwise may lead to the Alzheimer's.
- When you are sleeping you are not spending money.
- When you are sleeping you come up with brilliant ideas.

Victoria
I like that.

Plus, you aren’t eating yet burning calories.

10YearPlan
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by 10YearPlan » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:49 pm

OP-I think you are being too hard on yourself. While you may not have had a plan that you've been diligently executing all these years, you sure have a lot to show for it. But I hear you on feeling rudderless and I think some goals (long term and short term) do a person good, will ultimately help you feel more in control of your own destiny.

1. I would start with a Financial State of the Union. It is one of the first things my husband and I did when we got married 15+ years ago and has been paying dividends (literally and figuratively ever since). We put all of our bills/debts and assets onto one spreadsheet and calculated our net worth for the first time. We then decided that we didn't want to have any debt other than mortgage, so we created a plan to pay off debt. Watching the balance go down, down, down and then to 0 was very motivational. We then decided to funnel that money to investments, and watching that balance move up every month was similarly motivational. We didn't have concrete goals around retirement at that time, we just wanted to save and watch the balance go up. So we did. It's never too late to do this and we still have a mini-meeting every year.
2. Get some fun goals. In our quest to pay off debt and save, save, save, we didn't travel that much. That made both of us sad. So once we were on really good footing, we ADDED travel into our budget. And we've been adding ever since. We love to plan vacations and take several a year as a family. It makes other sacrifices we've made along the way so worth it. Some people are into cars, or expensive hobbies. Whatever floats your boat, come up with a plan to make it happen over time.
3. Continuously improve. Take some classes or go to conferences in your industries. Or both. You should do at least one thing every year that makes you more knowledgeable or more well-rounded. This increases your marketability in terms of employment over time. You can do this on a personal level, too. Like take a personal finance class or learn a language or how to crochet. Whatever it is, it is forward momentum and prevents you from falling into a rut.

I highly recommend reading Smart Couples Finish Rich if you have trouble getting on or staying on the same page financially. Another great book I read years ago that was helpful in getting on track financially and professionally is The Portable Coach.

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