What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

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Ron Ronnerson
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Ron Ronnerson » Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:45 pm

I think it begins with envisioning what you want so that you can begin to shape things. Personally, I wanted to be able to spend lots of time with my family and have dinners together every evening, work at a job that I enjoy, have lots of time off work, live in a nice neighborhood with good schools, live close to family, save sufficiently for the future, and be able to buy the things that I want. Also, I don’t like weather that gets too far away from 72 degrees. So, I began to design a life where I would have these things. Overall, it’s worked out fine.

You asked about secrets. I don’t have answers for anyone else but, for me, there are a couple of things which come to mind. One was the realization that time is the most important thing and the other was that the best things in life are free (or at least cost very little). Keeping expenses low seems to be able to free up time. It’s great just how nicely that works.

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Sandtrap
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Sandtrap » Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:20 pm

technovelist wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 4:55 pm
Toons wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 4:53 pm
1.Keep It Simple :happy
2.Occam's Razor :happy
Also, avoid redundancy? :sharebeer
And. . . all things in moderation. . including moderation. . . :shock:

Mrs. Money
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Mrs. Money » Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:36 pm

I invest in three things.
1. My spiritual journey. It's most important. It's eternal.
2. My health. For then I'm available and flexible for what life brings.
3. My finances. It provides security and freedom with dignity.

For most of my adult life I've been in control. I've made all the decisions. It's time to let God direct every aspect of my life.
I've finally embraced the "death of self". I can do nothing without God. Since I've thrown in the towel, waved the white flag, had my hip dislocated as did Jacob, my life has completely changed. I have intimacy with God, my health has improved and my finances have exploded.
[OT comment removed by admin LadyGeek]
You know when you are rich. You can buy anything you want but want nothing.

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mlebuf
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by mlebuf » Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm

1. Life is 20 percent doing smart things and 80 percent not doing dumb things.
2. The best lives, careers, families, retirements, etc. are planned. Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
4. Much of what we become and how much success/happiness we enjoy is determined by the choices we make between ages of 15-25. Those are also the years when we are most likely to screw-up.
5. We all make mistakes that have negative consequences. When you lose, don't lose the lesson, correct the mistake and move on. One of the best ways to avoid mistakes is to learn from the mistakes of others.
6. Be a smart risk manager. Success depends on taking smart, calculated risks. A smart risk is worth it. If the negative consequences of taking a chance are very bad, don't go there.
7. Be low maintenance and marry low maintenance. Frugality and emotional stability are critical.
8. Happiness is a byproduct of 4 things:
a. Good health
b. Enough money to live the life you want to live
c. Meaningful, purposeful activity that you enjoy and find fulfilling, be it jobs, sports, hobbies or whatever
d. Good relationships with friends/family
9. The best way to have a great future is to know what makes you happy and create it.
10. Life is not fair. It deals all of us a different hand of cards. Success depends on how well we play the hand.
Best wishes, | Michael | | Invest your time actively and your money passively.

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Taylor Larimore
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Taylor Larimore » Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:10 pm

Bogleheads:

For those who don't know (and Michael never tells us), "mlebuf" (above) is a retired professor emeritus, author of "The Millionaire in You," and co-author of "The Bogleheads' Guide to Investing."

I know Michael well. Few people are better qualified to give us 'rules of life.'

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

Olemiss540
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Olemiss540 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:38 pm

I tend to think of happiness as contentment in the fact unhappiness always seems to come through some comparison; of another place, another time, or another person. Taylor posted a beautiful poem that mentioned this linked above. I try to remain grounded in the moment as much as possible to maintain my happiness, if this has become an issue with you, it might be wise to remind yourself of how your day/life compares to the less privileged through volunteering.

Great insight in many of these posts!
I hold index funds because I do not overestimate my ability to pick stocks OR stock pickers.

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climber2020
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by climber2020 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:04 pm

mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
1. Life is 20 percent doing smart things and 80 percent not doing dumb things.
2. The best lives, careers, families, retirements, etc. are planned. Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
4. Much of what we become and how much success/happiness we enjoy is determined by the choices we make between ages of 15-25. Those are also the years when we are most likely to screw-up.
5. We all make mistakes that have negative consequences. When you lose, don't lose the lesson, correct the mistake and move on. One of the best ways to avoid mistakes is to learn from the mistakes of others.
6. Be a smart risk manager. Success depends on taking smart, calculated risks. A smart risk is worth it. If the negative consequences of taking a chance are very bad, don't go there.
7. Be low maintenance and marry low maintenance. Frugality and emotional stability are critical.
8. Happiness is a byproduct of 4 things:
a. Good health
b. Enough money to live the life you want to live
c. Meaningful, purposeful activity that you enjoy and find fulfilling, be it jobs, sports, hobbies or whatever
d. Good relationships with friends/family
9. The best way to have a great future is to know what makes you happy and create it.
10. Life is not fair. It deals all of us a different hand of cards. Success depends on how well we play the hand.
Fantastic. I may print this out and hang it on the wall. Thank you.

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abuss368
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by abuss368 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:07 pm

mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
1. Life is 20 percent doing smart things and 80 percent not doing dumb things.
2. The best lives, careers, families, retirements, etc. are planned. Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
4. Much of what we become and how much success/happiness we enjoy is determined by the choices we make between ages of 15-25. Those are also the years when we are most likely to screw-up.
5. We all make mistakes that have negative consequences. When you lose, don't lose the lesson, correct the mistake and move on. One of the best ways to avoid mistakes is to learn from the mistakes of others.
6. Be a smart risk manager. Success depends on taking smart, calculated risks. A smart risk is worth it. If the negative consequences of taking a chance are very bad, don't go there.
7. Be low maintenance and marry low maintenance. Frugality and emotional stability are critical.
8. Happiness is a byproduct of 4 things:
a. Good health
b. Enough money to live the life you want to live
c. Meaningful, purposeful activity that you enjoy and find fulfilling, be it jobs, sports, hobbies or whatever
d. Good relationships with friends/family
9. The best way to have a great future is to know what makes you happy and create it.
10. Life is not fair. It deals all of us a different hand of cards. Success depends on how well we play the hand.
Well said! :sharebeer
John C. Bogle: "You simply do not need to put your money into 8 different mutual funds!" | | Disclosure: Three Fund Portfolio + U.S. & International REITs

h82goslw
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by h82goslw » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:13 pm

mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
Mlebuf’s entire post is fantastic....but this specific portion needs to be highlighted. Thank you for posting....I will share this with my kids.

technovelist
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by technovelist » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:34 pm

h82goslw wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:13 pm
mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
Mlebuf’s entire post is fantastic....but this specific portion needs to be highlighted. Thank you for posting....I will share this with my kids.
Indeed. And another way of saying that is "The harder I work, the luckier I get." :sharebeer
In theory, theory and practice are identical. In practice, they often differ.

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Hyperborea
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Hyperborea » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:36 pm

chevca wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:06 am
Everything happens for a reason. That's what I try to go by and keep in mind.
Almost nothing happens for a reason. There is so much randomness in our personal life, in society, in the world and in history. It only looks like there was a reason or an order post hoc. People try to impose these in some attempt to understand. The best we can do in our lives is skew the randomness with our efforts. The universe is not deterministic.
staythecourse wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:22 pm
I have found out the lowest hanging fruit in success in life is PLANNING. That simple.
"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

I agree that the planning exercise is useful to help us understand what options there are but the plans themselves almost never work out as we planned.


Maybe the most important of all is that happiness comes from within. Stuff you can buy can make you more comfortable but they can't make you happy. Too little stuff (not enough to eat, bad living conditions, etc.) can make it harder to be happy but beyond a certain point they don't make you happy.
"Plans are worthless, but planning is everything." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

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TheTimeLord
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by TheTimeLord » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:45 pm

mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
For me most of your list implied people have far more control over their lives than I can agree with. And the point above left me flabbergasted, you seriously believe that? By the way the Samuel Butler quote is "The want of money is the root of all evil.", the bible verse is "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. | Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]

mindboggling
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by mindboggling » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:05 pm

Avoid needless precision. Many of the Mr. Spocks here may disagree, but nevertheless I think it's true. Life's an art.
In broken mathematics, We estimate our prize, --Emily Dickinson

OnTrack2020
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by OnTrack2020 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:46 pm

lostinjersey wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:14 am
There is so much wisdom on this site, I’m hoping to tap into it yet again.

My DH and I have been married for 10 years and have one DD, age 8. Although we have plenty of advantages (both college educated, good jobs, etc) we still are what I would call bumbling through life and rudderless. Part of this is due to some disadvantages like mental illness and cancer and sick parents we have to take care of; part is due to a lack of rigor in our daily lives and our (questionable) decision making process. For example, we have moved from east coast to west coast to Midwest in the last four years, searching for the right place to raise our daughter while still making decent money and living in a place we enjoy. This is a tricky thing because I prefer semi-boring suburbia, while he craves energy and excitement, and it obviously has to be safe and family-friendly. Another move is imminent, likely back to CA, and this time we have vowed to ‘get it right.’ But how?

So for those who have figured it out, who have lives that are more like clockwork than constant chaos, what are your secrets? How do you structure your lives so that you are being intentional with your time and not just blown by the winds of fate? I have ideas like: do an annual financial planning meeting (we have never done this). Always be planning a vacation. Make cooking a family experience, not just takeout or something microwaved. Spend time developing hobbies. Get involved in the community. Make friends and do stuff with them. Create traditions around holidays and seasons. Etc. What has worked for you?

1. If you want to be involved, either a lot or little, in the community, it's time to stop moving so much and put down roots. Your daughter is 8, let her put down roots, make friends, etc. There will never be a "right" place because each place has its pros and cons and because no place exists. I would find a happy medium in between energy/excitement. Maybe living in suburbia with trips to a city.

2. Constant chaos is likely to come with the terrority of raising a child/working/commuting/cooking dinner/and all other chores, etc. It just is. More intentional time has come with us being older, our children being older, and knowing our likes/dislikes and having more time freed up due to kids off to college. If you must, keep your child out of extracurricular activities, or pick just one, and make sure it's not taking up the majority of your time. I'm a SAHM, and am finally having some time to work on projects around the house---intentionally.

3. Find a property that isn't going to take a lot of your time to maintain.

4. Stay away from drama--your kid's drama, drama at work, family drama, etc.,

5. Stay away from social media and have your child stay away from it also. Life will be so much easier.

6. And lastly, I tell my daughter quite often----you can't change people, you can only change your reaction to them.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by dwickenh » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:52 pm

lostinjersey wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:14 am
There is so much wisdom on this site, I’m hoping to tap into it yet again.

My DH and I have been married for 10 years and have one DD, age 8. Although we have plenty of advantages (both college educated, good jobs, etc) we still are what I would call bumbling through life and rudderless. Part of this is due to some disadvantages like mental illness and cancer and sick parents we have to take care of; part is due to a lack of rigor in our daily lives and our (questionable) decision making process. For example, we have moved from east coast to west coast to Midwest in the last four years, searching for the right place to raise our daughter while still making decent money and living in a place we enjoy. This is a tricky thing because I prefer semi-boring suburbia, while he craves energy and excitement, and it obviously has to be safe and family-friendly. Another move is imminent, likely back to CA, and this time we have vowed to ‘get it right.’ But how?

So for those who have figured it out, who have lives that are more like clockwork than constant chaos, what are your secrets? How do you structure your lives so that you are being intentional with your time and not just blown by the winds of fate? I have ideas like: do an annual financial planning meeting (we have never done this). Always be planning a vacation. Make cooking a family experience, not just takeout or something microwaved. Spend time developing hobbies. Get involved in the community. Make friends and do stuff with them. Create traditions around holidays and seasons. Etc. What has worked for you?
Honesty and Integrity worked for me. My father(rest his soul) instilled that in me at a young age and 4 years of Catholic Boarding school didn't hurt either. Know yourself and sell out for no one.
The market is the most efficient mechanism anywhere in the world for transferring wealth from impatient people to patient people.” | — Warren Buffett

lostdog
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by lostdog » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:54 pm

The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle.
Hear the clock ticking? That’s your life flying by while you listen to market pundits and watch stock prices fluctuate. -Humble Dollar

Howard Donnelly
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Howard Donnelly » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:57 pm

mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
1. Life is 20 percent doing smart things and 80 percent not doing dumb things.
2. The best lives, careers, families, retirements, etc. are planned. Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
4. Much of what we become and how much success/happiness we enjoy is determined by the choices we make between ages of 15-25. Those are also the years when we are most likely to screw-up.
5. We all make mistakes that have negative consequences. When you lose, don't lose the lesson, correct the mistake and move on. One of the best ways to avoid mistakes is to learn from the mistakes of others.
6. Be a smart risk manager. Success depends on taking smart, calculated risks. A smart risk is worth it. If the negative consequences of taking a chance are very bad, don't go there.
7. Be low maintenance and marry low maintenance. Frugality and emotional stability are critical.
8. Happiness is a byproduct of 4 things:
a. Good health
b. Enough money to live the life you want to live
c. Meaningful, purposeful activity that you enjoy and find fulfilling, be it jobs, sports, hobbies or whatever
d. Good relationships with friends/family
9. The best way to have a great future is to know what makes you happy and create it.
10. Life is not fair. It deals all of us a different hand of cards. Success depends on how well we play the hand.
Terrific post! Thank you.

bluejello
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by bluejello » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:52 am

Great question. Here are three principles that have made my life significantly better:

1. Minimalism. I live in a 1300-sqft house with my husband, two small children, and two cats. Our home feels spacious, we have plenty of unused closet space, and visitors constantly remark on how calm and neat our home is. The secret is that we simply don't have anything we don't need and there just isn't enough stuff to make messes.

See: 2. Mindfulness. I used to think that mindfulness was hippie BS, but the more I learn about and apply this concept the more I realize how powerful it is. Without mindfulness, it's easy to fall into the trap of always thinking about what you have to do next, wishing for the weekend while you're at work and worrying about how much work you have to do during the weekends. I'm by no means perfect at it, but when I'm able to be mindful it's as though my time has expanded and I can magically get more done without feeling hurried or stressed. Here's a quote that nicely sums it up:

"When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole world revolves — slowly, evenly, without rushing towards the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life." - The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Naht Hanh

3. Learning How to Manage My Emotions and Shift My Perspective. This is an interesting one because I've learned this concept through challenges both in my working and personal relationships. Basically, the idea is to not get stressed out about things you cannot control (e.g. your spouse not doing what you want, getting laid off, being stuck in traffic, etc.). Instead, focus on tuning into yourself, really understanding what you want (not what society or advertising tells you you should want), and concentrate your energies on making yourself happy. "Managing your emotions" doesn't mean bottling it all up inside. Instead, it's the ability to say "Hm, I'm stuck in bad traffic right now. That sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. But instead of getting upset, I'm going to consider this as a gift of some "me-time" — maybe I can call my best friend who I rarely have time to talk to, or listen to some music that I love."

See:
  • Happiness at Work, Srikumar Rao
  • How Will You Measure Your Life, Clayton Christensen
  • Daring to Trust, David Richo
  • Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle

carolinaman
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by carolinaman » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:18 am

basspond wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:26 pm
Remember Fs in this order

Faith
Family
Friends
Finances
Fun

It's been amazing in our life how everything else falls in line.
This is a good list and the priorities are in the right order for me. Life needs purpose and focus to be truly meaningful.

Our children are now in their forties, but I remember when our kids were your daughter's age, a lot of our activities revolved around things they did: sports, school, church groups, band, scouts, etc. It was a busy but fun time as we met and acquired many new friends through them. You will not find the perfect place to live but once you find a place to settle in, you will find your children are a great way to make new friends. Get engaged in your community by volunteering and participating in activities. This will help you get committed to your community. Best wishes.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by walker46 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:33 am

Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


And who hasn't found themselves in trouble after ignoring one or more of those rules?

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stemikger
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by stemikger » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:42 am

Stay the Course and Press on Regardless mean more to me than just sticking to an investing plan. Thank you Jack!

They basically have become very important as I navigate through life. My life's philosophy.

Take one day at a time and when the seas get rough keep repeating those words. Never give up and even when you fall, Stay the Course and Press on Regardless. Even when it feels impossible.

And lastly be nice to people. You may just be that difference in someone's day and/or life.
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!

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Taylor Larimore
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Post by Taylor Larimore » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:48 am

stemikger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:42 am
Stay the Course and Press on Regardless mean more to me than just sticking to an investing plan.

They basically have become very important as I navigate through life. My life's philosophy.

Take one day at a time and when the seas get rough keep repeating those words. Never give up and even when you fall, Stay the Course and Press on Regardless. Even when it feels impossible.
stemikger:

Jack Bogle's life is an excellent example of a man who: " Never give up and even when you fall, Stay the Course and Press on Regardless."

Bogleheads can read about it in Robert Slater's excellent book, "John Bogle and the Vanguard Experiment."

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

fishmonger
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by fishmonger » Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am

I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots

chw
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by chw » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:00 am

mlebuf wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:44 pm
1. Life is 20 percent doing smart things and 80 percent not doing dumb things.
2. The best lives, careers, families, retirements, etc. are planned. Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation.
3. Whoever said that money is the root of all-evil was either a fool or a con artist. Lack of money is the root of all-evil.
4. Much of what we become and how much success/happiness we enjoy is determined by the choices we make between ages of 15-25. Those are also the years when we are most likely to screw-up.
5. We all make mistakes that have negative consequences. When you lose, don't lose the lesson, correct the mistake and move on. One of the best ways to avoid mistakes is to learn from the mistakes of others.
6. Be a smart risk manager. Success depends on taking smart, calculated risks. A smart risk is worth it. If the negative consequences of taking a chance are very bad, don't go there.
7. Be low maintenance and marry low maintenance. Frugality and emotional stability are critical.
8. Happiness is a byproduct of 4 things:
a. Good health
b. Enough money to live the life you want to live
c. Meaningful, purposeful activity that you enjoy and find fulfilling, be it jobs, sports, hobbies or whatever
d. Good relationships with friends/family
9. The best way to have a great future is to know what makes you happy and create it.
10. Life is not fair. It deals all of us a different hand of cards. Success depends on how well we play the hand.
Great post!

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Kenkat
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Kenkat » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:00 am

bluejello wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:52 am
Great question. Here are three principles that have made my life significantly better:

1. Minimalism. I live in a 1300-sqft house with my husband, two small children, and two cats. Our home feels spacious, we have plenty of unused closet space, and visitors constantly remark on how calm and neat our home is. The secret is that we simply don't have anything we don't need and there just isn't enough stuff to make messes.

See: 2. Mindfulness. I used to think that mindfulness was hippie BS, but the more I learn about and apply this concept the more I realize how powerful it is. Without mindfulness, it's easy to fall into the trap of always thinking about what you have to do next, wishing for the weekend while you're at work and worrying about how much work you have to do during the weekends. I'm by no means perfect at it, but when I'm able to be mindful it's as though my time has expanded and I can magically get more done without feeling hurried or stressed. Here's a quote that nicely sums it up:

"When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole world revolves — slowly, evenly, without rushing towards the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life." - The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Naht Hanh

3. Learning How to Manage My Emotions and Shift My Perspective. This is an interesting one because I've learned this concept through challenges both in my working and personal relationships. Basically, the idea is to not get stressed out about things you cannot control (e.g. your spouse not doing what you want, getting laid off, being stuck in traffic, etc.). Instead, focus on tuning into yourself, really understanding what you want (not what society or advertising tells you you should want), and concentrate your energies on making yourself happy. "Managing your emotions" doesn't mean bottling it all up inside. Instead, it's the ability to say "Hm, I'm stuck in bad traffic right now. That sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. But instead of getting upset, I'm going to consider this as a gift of some "me-time" — maybe I can call my best friend who I rarely have time to talk to, or listen to some music that I love."

See:
  • Happiness at Work, Srikumar Rao
  • How Will You Measure Your Life, Clayton Christensen
  • Daring to Trust, David Richo
  • Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle
This is great information for achieving emotional well being and balance in life.

mak1277
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by mak1277 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:10 am

I've had good luck with this one:

If you wait long enough, someone else will do it for you.

staythecourse
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by staythecourse » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:11 am

Hyperborea wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:36 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:22 pm
I have found out the lowest hanging fruit in success in life is PLANNING. That simple.
"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

I agree that the planning exercise is useful to help us understand what options there are but the plans themselves almost never work out as we planned.
Don't know if I believe that. Out of the THOUSANDS of plans one makes in their daily life I would say most work out just like you expect them to. I do agree one needs to be able to adapt to changes to one's plan. So maybe making plans is not as important as adapting to the plan when needed, but doesn't mean having a plan is not important. If that makes any sense.

Life is NOT as chaotic as it seems. Things do generally go in a predictable pattern otherwise how would anyone plan out their day?

The problem with not having a plan is trying to figure out if you are going to your end goal of not. It is hard to know the adjustments one has to make in their life if they only have a long term goal without a concrete plan on how to get their. Just like investing. Everybody wants to be able to afford the stuff they want when they need it (end goal), but not everyone has a plan on how to get there and that is what does them in. If your plan is to save $1000/ month to get to your plan and then you are laid off for 1 year then you know you have to save at least $2000/ month the second year to stay on track. If that is doable or not is the point. At least, you know the plan to get you to where you want which is better then most folks saying, "Well I will just save some money when I get it and I am sure it will eventually be enough".

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Sandtrap » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:17 am

bluejello wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:52 am
.. . .

2. Mindfulness. I used to think that mindfulness was hippie BS, but the more I learn about and apply this concept the more I realize how powerful it is. Without mindfulness, it's easy to fall into the trap of always thinking about what you have to do next, wishing for the weekend while you're at work and worrying about how much work you have to do during the weekends. I'm by no means perfect at it, but when I'm able to be mindful it's as though my time has expanded and I can magically get more done without feeling hurried or stressed. Here's a quote that nicely sums it up:

"When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole world revolves — slowly, evenly, without rushing towards the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life." - The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Naht Hanh
. . . . .
Wonderful :D
Namaste. . .
j :D

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Doom&Gloom » Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm

fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am
I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots
+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by mak1277 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm

Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am
I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots
+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by fishmonger » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:10 pm

mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm
Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am
I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots
+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.
Are you moving with kids? Or a family? The OP specifically mentioned they keep moving due to "searching" for the perfect place to raise their child. My point was there is no such thing.

Some people thrive off constantly meeting new people, joining new social circles, etc. Certainly not saying that's a bad thing. But it must be extremely hard for the kid, especially because it seems this is just a fly-by-night thing to do. They aren't moving because of better job opportunities, falling in love with an area, etc.

My kids are very well adjusted and moving across town and changing schools was hard at first. Nevermind moving across the country multiple times

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by mak1277 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:50 pm

fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:10 pm
mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm
Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am
I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots
+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.
Are you moving with kids? Or a family? The OP specifically mentioned they keep moving due to "searching" for the perfect place to raise their child. My point was there is no such thing.

Some people thrive off constantly meeting new people, joining new social circles, etc. Certainly not saying that's a bad thing. But it must be extremely hard for the kid, especially because it seems this is just a fly-by-night thing to do. They aren't moving because of better job opportunities, falling in love with an area, etc.

My kids are very well adjusted and moving across town and changing schools was hard at first. Nevermind moving across the country multiple times
First move was as a 10 year old...even then I was really excited to do it and (according to my parents) never once complained about leaving where I was.

Second move was as a 21 year old, moving away from home for good and starting a career. I purposely chose a college and job in a location that was far away from where I went to high school.

Third move was as a 31 year old who'd been married for 1 year.

Next move will be between ages 41-45...pre-school ages for our child(ren).

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by fishmonger » Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:42 pm

mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:50 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:10 pm
mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm
Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am
I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots
+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.
Are you moving with kids? Or a family? The OP specifically mentioned they keep moving due to "searching" for the perfect place to raise their child. My point was there is no such thing.

Some people thrive off constantly meeting new people, joining new social circles, etc. Certainly not saying that's a bad thing. But it must be extremely hard for the kid, especially because it seems this is just a fly-by-night thing to do. They aren't moving because of better job opportunities, falling in love with an area, etc.

My kids are very well adjusted and moving across town and changing schools was hard at first. Nevermind moving across the country multiple times
First move was as a 10 year old...even then I was really excited to do it and (according to my parents) never once complained about leaving where I was.

Second move was as a 21 year old, moving away from home for good and starting a career. I purposely chose a college and job in a location that was far away from where I went to high school.

Third move was as a 31 year old who'd been married for 1 year.

Next move will be between ages 41-45...pre-school ages for our child(ren).
Moving 4 times in 40 years as an adult is not in any way comparable to an 8 year old having lived in 4 different places, including both coasts and in the Midwest

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by mak1277 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:48 pm

fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:42 pm
mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:50 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:10 pm
mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm
Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm


+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.
Are you moving with kids? Or a family? The OP specifically mentioned they keep moving due to "searching" for the perfect place to raise their child. My point was there is no such thing.

Some people thrive off constantly meeting new people, joining new social circles, etc. Certainly not saying that's a bad thing. But it must be extremely hard for the kid, especially because it seems this is just a fly-by-night thing to do. They aren't moving because of better job opportunities, falling in love with an area, etc.

My kids are very well adjusted and moving across town and changing schools was hard at first. Nevermind moving across the country multiple times
First move was as a 10 year old...even then I was really excited to do it and (according to my parents) never once complained about leaving where I was.

Second move was as a 21 year old, moving away from home for good and starting a career. I purposely chose a college and job in a location that was far away from where I went to high school.

Third move was as a 31 year old who'd been married for 1 year.

Next move will be between ages 41-45...pre-school ages for our child(ren).
Moving 4 times in 40 years as an adult is not in any way comparable to an 8 year old having lived in 4 different places, including both coasts and in the Midwest
My comment was only in response to those saying that roots are important. I wasn't referring to the OP at any point.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by TheNightsToCome » Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:49 pm

Hyperborea wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:36 pm
chevca wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:06 am
Everything happens for a reason. That's what I try to go by and keep in mind.
Almost nothing happens for a reason. There is so much randomness in our personal life, in society, in the world and in history. It only looks like there was a reason or an order post hoc. People try to impose these in some attempt to understand. The best we can do in our lives is skew the randomness with our efforts. The universe is not deterministic.
staythecourse wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:22 pm
I have found out the lowest hanging fruit in success in life is PLANNING. That simple.
"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

I agree that the planning exercise is useful to help us understand what options there are but the plans themselves almost never work out as we planned.


Maybe the most important of all is that happiness comes from within. Stuff you can buy can make you more comfortable but they can't make you happy. Too little stuff (not enough to eat, bad living conditions, etc.) can make it harder to be happy but beyond a certain point they don't make you happy.
"Almost nothing happens for a reason."

:thumbsup

"Too little stuff (not enough to eat, bad living conditions, etc.) can make it harder to be happy but beyond a certain point they don't make you happy."


:thumbsup

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by LadyGeek » Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:16 pm

A few posts containing religious (Biblical) quotations were removed. Religion is a very sensitive topic - much more so than politics. See: Politics and Religion
In order to avoid the inevitable frictions that arise from these topics, political or religious posts and comments are prohibited. The only exceptions to this rule are:
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Please refrain from stating religious references.
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Sandtrap » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:45 pm

I might add that several, or even one, 911 ride in an ambulance and a night or more in the ER can completely change one's paradigm. Prior "big picture rules of life" go down the toilet along with plans and predictable spreadsheets. . . Then, perhaps, more humble "big picture rules of life are realized. Some would call these things. . . "reality checks".
Actionably: Then, portfolio status, allocations, SPIA's, et al, takes on a whole different meaning.
mahalo
j :D
Last edited by Sandtrap on Tue Dec 12, 2017 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "John Bogle and the Vanguard Experiment"

Post by stemikger » Tue Dec 12, 2017 12:49 am

Taylor Larimore wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:48 am
stemikger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:42 am
Stay the Course and Press on Regardless mean more to me than just sticking to an investing plan.

They basically have become very important as I navigate through life. My life's philosophy.

Take one day at a time and when the seas get rough keep repeating those words. Never give up and even when you fall, Stay the Course and Press on Regardless. Even when it feels impossible.
stemikger:

Jack Bogle's life is an excellent example of a man who: " Never give up and even when you fall, Stay the Course and Press on Regardless."

Bogleheads can read about it in Robert Slater's excellent book, "John Bogle and the Vanguard Experiment."

Best wishes.
Taylor
Thanks Taylor. I will definitely read it.

Steve G.
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by chipperd » Tue Dec 12, 2017 6:07 am

In this case:
Bloom where your planted

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by grok87 » Tue Dec 12, 2017 6:32 am

runner540 wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:32 am
Lostinjersey, all the pratices you mentioned are typically mentioned in "how to be happier" type articles. They're not bad things to do. But doing them as a formula for "happiness" won't work without also having a bigger purpose in life.

I suggest reading "man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankel. It's a quick but powerful book.

Contentment, gratitude, being active in my faith community, and getting plenty of sleep and exercise when I can are all keys to living well, based on my experience, traditions of many cultures, science and other evidence.
+1
Keep calm and Boglehead on. KCBO.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by J295 » Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:23 am

OP ... your questions are great, your ideas are great, and it seems to me like you are on the right path for intentionality. In my experience, you and your family are at a time in life where it is really active and Life itself requires a fair amount of energy and mild chaos.

You all will need to find what works for you. Your question is great, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer. I’ve always enjoyed reading and the introspection of digging and scraping with various ideas and perspectives When I was super busy and had to really work at it to stay healthy I tried each day to mindfully implement ....
Prayer
Exercise
Nutrition/Sleep

Stick with it… as some would say, it’s simple but not easy

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by lostinjersey » Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:44 am

OP here. Wow, I am blown away by all the responses. It is going to take some time to digest them, but I want to say thank you to everyone who shared their perspective. I was right, the collective wisdom on this board is off the charts. Now if I could only find a simple way to harness it...

Some of the things suggested we are already doing, like finding friends through our daughter and meditating and getting healthier. Some are still a work in progress. And for those of you who have pointed out that our moves might be hard on our daughter, thank you but I think that should be obvious. Of course we realize that, it’s a big part of our angst and why I’m posting here. Having you pile on isn’t helpful and makes me feel even worse about the situation than I already do. We are trying to do things differently for the good of our family, and she is a HUGE part of that. We can’t undo what has been done, though, so please keep that in mind as you judge our situation from your stable, well adjusted perspectives. We are doing our best to get there, but we aren’t there yet.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by livesoft » Tue Dec 12, 2017 8:02 am

lostinjersey wrote:
Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:44 am
And for those of you who have pointed out that our moves might be hard on our daughter, thank you but I think that should be obvious.
I will say that's your confirmation bias then. As I noted my parents (and their kids) moved a lot when the kids were growing up. I did not consider it hard on my siblings or me. We are all world travelers now with good friends all over the world.
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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by DrGoogle2017 » Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:32 am

mak1277 wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:46 pm
Doom&Gloom wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:41 pm
fishmonger wrote:
Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:52 am
I agree that the constant moving around is extremely unproductive. Especially for your 8 year old.

No place is perfect in terms of schools, housing, weather, neighbors, politics, traffic, diversity, etc. Pick a place that you really like and put down some roots
+1

Don't let the tail wag the dog.
Roots are overrated. I'm 40 and I've lived for 10 years in each of four different places. I love the fact that I've moved around a fair amount (maybe it's not "a lot" by the standards of the OP, but I wouldn't say I have any roots). I'm looking for my next move now...something different (not better or worse, just different) is a big draw for me.
I did too when I was younger like between the age of 15-30, but once I had kids, I tried not to move. Some kids have problem adjusting to new schools and new friends. We don’t even go on vacation when they are in school. We try not to miss school unless there is a very good reason.
OP, we are not judging you, just gave you our perspective.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Luckywon » Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:57 am

lostinjersey wrote:
Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:44 am
OP here. Wow, I am blown away by all the responses. It is going to take some time to digest them, but I want to say thank you to everyone who shared their perspective. I was right, the collective wisdom on this board is off the charts. Now if I could only find a simple way to harness it...

Some of the things suggested we are already doing, like finding friends through our daughter and meditating and getting healthier. Some are still a work in progress. And for those of you who have pointed out that our moves might be hard on our daughter, thank you but I think that should be obvious. Of course we realize that, it’s a big part of our angst and why I’m posting here. Having you pile on isn’t helpful and makes me feel even worse about the situation than I already do. We are trying to do things differently for the good of our family, and she is a HUGE part of that. We can’t undo what has been done, though, so please keep that in mind as you judge our situation from your stable, well adjusted perspectives. We are doing our best to get there, but we aren’t there yet.
Our family moved several times when we were school age and I view it as a positive thing. It may not be easy to leave one's comfort zone but overcoming the challenges of settling into a new place and making new friends can be a strengthening experience. And seeing more of the world is an education in itself. I know people who have lived in the same area their whole lives and I think they have missed out.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Taylor Larimore » Tue Dec 12, 2017 12:53 pm

Bogleheads:

My family moved to Miami in 1930 when I was six years old. Our 2 lane street (Brickell Avenue) had only houses. Today, I live next door in a hi-rise condominium. Brickell Avenue is now four-laned and the main commercial/residential street in Miami.

I have known many of my neighbors for many years-- especially the sailors. We have a "Sailor's Lunch" every Wednesday and go sailing together every Saturday morning. I would not move for all the money in the world.

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Olemiss540 » Tue Dec 12, 2017 1:03 pm

livesoft wrote:
Tue Dec 12, 2017 8:02 am
lostinjersey wrote:
Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:44 am
And for those of you who have pointed out that our moves might be hard on our daughter, thank you but I think that should be obvious.
I will say that's your confirmation bias then. As I noted my parents (and their kids) moved a lot when the kids were growing up. I did not consider it hard on my siblings or me. We are all world travelers now with good friends all over the world.
I assume it is your bias needing confirmed as the OP has CONFIRMED that the moves were hard on their daughter. This is not a hypothesis or belief, but a truth confirmed by their child. Everyone is happy you had a wonderful childhood, but it appears other's concern has been clarified in the OP's response. This is not a rule for everyone but specific to the situation.

OP, if moving will enable true happiness for your family then I am sure your child will be much happier in the long run regardless. Otherwise, finding happiness where you are in your life is more permanent and much simpler than searching for other situations that result in happiness from my experience. I have personally struggled with the goal or notion that relocating to a warm beachy area would be a short range goal for us to improve our happiness. I am starting to realize that "happiness has been happening" all around me, and I may miss out on some of it with my mind on other things. Good luck on your continued journey and happy holidays to your family!
I hold index funds because I do not overestimate my ability to pick stocks OR stock pickers.

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Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by Finridge » Tue Dec 12, 2017 2:59 pm

lostinjersey wrote:
Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:44 am
OP here. Wow, I am blown away by all the responses. It is going to take some time to digest them, but I want to say thank you to everyone who shared their perspective. I was right, the collective wisdom on this board is off the charts. Now if I could only find a simple way to harness it...

Some of the things suggested we are already doing, like finding friends through our daughter and meditating and getting healthier. Some are still a work in progress. And for those of you who have pointed out that our moves might be hard on our daughter, thank you but I think that should be obvious. Of course we realize that, it’s a big part of our angst and why I’m posting here. Having you pile on isn’t helpful and makes me feel even worse about the situation than I already do. We are trying to do things differently for the good of our family, and she is a HUGE part of that. We can’t undo what has been done, though, so please keep that in mind as you judge our situation from your stable, well adjusted perspectives. We are doing our best to get there, but we aren’t there yet.
Lostinjersey, lots of great general advice has been posted here. But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what works for other people. What matters is what works best for you and your family. Reading between the lines, all the moving around (among other things) seems to have been very hard on you and our daughter. Now you're looking at another move, and the prospect of this is disturbing, correct? Some people are happy making moves and thriving on it--and good for them--but I suspect just as many find it to be stressful.

I don't want to pry, but to understand what you need to "fix" you first need to identify what the problem is? It doesn't just "happen" that people decide to move across the country. Look at each move and try to decide what motivated each move. What were you and your spouse seeking when you initiated each move? Why did the new location not work out? Will the new move "fix" what didn't work before, and why do you think this time it will work out?

My experience is that when people say that a certain city did not work out, the factors are usually not ones that apply to the city in general, but their situation in particular. Often, what they mean is that their job did not work out. Or their "social situation" (relationship with significant other, or relationships with friends (or lack of friends) did not work out. Not always, but often. As someone earlier in the thread pointed out, the one thing that stays constant when we move is *us*. Moving doesn't change those kinds of things. Depending on what the issues are, you might be able to find stability and happiness you are looking for right there in New Jersey.

Also, this is a DIY board, and we're suspicious of professional investing "experts" like brokers and most financial planners. But finding happiness and stability is not as straightforward as investing. It might be well worth the money to find a good family therapist and see if you can get to the bottom of these issues.
Last edited by Finridge on Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hudson
Posts: 1474
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2007 9:15 am

Re: What are your big-picture ‘rules of life’ —financial or otherwise?

Post by hudson » Tue Dec 12, 2017 8:44 pm

No more debt.
No speculating, lotteries, etc.
Use safest investments.
Be a good problem solver. When problems arise, figure out who owns the problem. Don't solve other people's problems. Don't rescue others...as appropriate, maybe help them to help themselves.
I don't own all of the world's problems; I narrow my focus to things that I care about, then put my energies there.

chuppi
Posts: 138
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:47 am

Re: "Desidoreta"

Post by chuppi » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:55 pm

Taylor Larimore wrote:
Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:58 pm
lostinjersey:

This is my favorite poem. It has helped me through life. It can do the same for you and your family.

Desidoreta

Best wishes.
Taylor
Thank you very much for this Poem. I am aware of some of this based on life experience. :)
I have bookmarked it and will go there every now and then.

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